Текст книги "Fallen Too Far"
Автор книги: Abbi Glines
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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 12 страниц)
Grant laughed and leaned a hip against a Volvo. “Isn’t there always a party here?”
No, there wasn’t. After last night I thought Rush would have called me or texted me. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“I don’t think Rush was either. This is a Nan party. She sprung it on him. The girl has always managed to get away with murder where Rush is concerned. I got my ass kicked by Rush more than once growing up because I didn’t fall for her wounded puppy shit.”
I walked over to lean against the Volvo beside him and crossed my arms. “So you grew up with Nan, too?” I needed something. Any kind of explanation.
Grant cut his eyes at me. “Yeah. Of course. Georgianna is her momma. Only parent she’s got. Well…” Grant pushed off from the Volvo and shook his head. “Nope. You almost had me. I can’t tell you shit, Blaire. Honestly when someone does I don’t want to be anywhere around.”
Grant stalked back toward the house.
I watched him until he was back inside before I made my way to the house. I prayed no one was in my room. If they were I was going to the pantry. I was not in the mood for Nan. Or the secrets surrounding Nan that everyone but me was allowed to know. I sure wasn’t in the mood for Rush.
I opened the door and was glad that no one was standing around to see me arrive. I headed straight for the stairs. Laughter and voices filled the house. I didn’t fit in with them. There was no use in going down there and acting like I did.
I glanced at the door leading to Rush’s stairs and let last night’s memories wash over me. I was beginning to think that was a one-time thing. I opened my door and stepped in before I turned on the light.
I covered my mouth from the scream that bubbled up when I realized I wasn’t alone. It was Rush. He was sitting on my bed looking out the window. He stood up when I closed the door and walked over to me.
“Hey,” he said in a soft voice.
“Hey,” I replied, unsure as to why he was in my room when he had a house full of people. “What are you doing in here?”
He gave me a crooked smile. “Waiting on you. I kinda thought that was obvious.”
Smiling, I ducked my head. His eyes could be too much sometimes. “I can see that. But you have guests.”
“Not my guests. Trust me, I wanted an empty house,” he said cupping the side of my face with his hand. “Come upstairs with me. Please.”
He didn’t have to beg. I’d go gladly. I dropped my purse on the bed and tucked my hand in his. “Lead the way.”
Rush squeezed my hand and we headed up the stairs together.
Once we reached the top step Rush pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard. Maybe I was easy but I didn’t care. I’d missed him today. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the emotion churning inside me that I didn’t quite understand.
When he broke the kiss we were both breathless. “Talk. We are going to talk first. I want to see you smile and laugh. I want to know what your favorite show was when you were a kid and who made you cry at school and what boy band you hung posters of on your wall. Then I want you naked in my bed again.”
Smiling at his strange, but adorable, way of telling me he wanted to do more than just have sex with me, I walked over to the large tan sectional sofa that overlooked the ocean instead of a television.
“Thirsty?” Rush asked, walking over to a stainless steel refrigerator I hadn’t taken the time to notice last night. A small bar sat off to the side of it.
“Just some ice water would be nice,” I replied.
Rush went to work fixing drinks and I turned to look out at the ocean. “ Rugratswas my favorite show, Ken Norris made me cry at least once a week but then he’d make Valerie cry and I’d get mad and hurt him. My favorite and most successful attack was a swift kick to the balls. And shamefully, The Backstreet Boys covered my walls.”
Rush stopped beside me and handed me a tall glass of ice water. I could see the indecision on his face. He sat down beside me. “Who is Valerie?”
I’d mentioned my sister without thinking. I was comfortable with Rush. I wanted him to know me. Maybe if I opened up about my secrets he would share his. Even if he couldn’t share Nan’s.
“Valerie was my twin sister. She died in a car accident five years ago. My dad was driving. Two weeks later, he walked out of our lives and never returned. Mom said we had to forgive him because he couldn’t live with the fact he’d been driving the car that killed Valerie. I always wanted to believe her. Even when he didn’t come to Mom’s funeral I wanted to believe he just couldn’t face it. So I forgave him. I didn’t hate him or let bitterness and hate control me. But I came here and well… you know. I guess Mom was wrong.”
Rush leaned forward and set his glass on the rustic wooden table beside the couch and slipped his arm behind me. “I had no idea you had a twin sister,” he said almost reverently.
“We were identical. You couldn’t tell us apart. We had a lot of fun with that at school and with boys. Only Cain could tell us apart.”
Rush began to play with a lock of my hair as we sat there looking out over the water. “How long did your parents know each other before they married?” he asked. Not a question I was expecting.
“It was a love at first sight kind of thing. Mom was visiting a friend of hers in Atlanta. Dad had recently broken up with her friend and he came around one night when Mom was at her friend’s apartment alone. Her friend was a little wild from what my mom said. Dad took one look at mom and he was sunk. I can’t blame him. My mom was gorgeous. She had my color hair but she had the biggest green eyes. They were like jewels almost and she was just fun. You were happy just to be near her. Nothing ever got her down. She smiled through everything. The only time I saw her cry was when she was told about Valerie. She crumpled to the floor and wailed that day. It would have frightened me if I hadn’t felt the same way. It was like part of my soul had been ripped out.” I stopped. My eyes were burning. I’d let myself get carried away with opening up. I hadn’t opened up to anyone in years.
Rush rested his forehead on the top of my head. “I’m so sorry, Blaire. I had no idea.”
For the first time since Valerie had left me I felt like someone was there I could talk to. I didn’t have to hold back. I turned in his arms and found his lips with mine. I needed this closeness. I’d remembered the pain and now I needed him to make it go away. He was so good at making everything but him fade away.
“I love them. I will always love them but I’m okay now. They’re together. They have each other,” I told him when I felt his reluctance to kiss me back.
“Who do you have?” he asked in a tortured voice.
“I have me. I found out three years ago when my mom got sick that as long as I held onto me and didn’t forget who I was that I’d always be okay,” I replied.
Rush closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes the desperate look in them startled me. “I need you. Right now. Let me love you right here, please.”
I pulled my shirt off and then reached for his. He lifted his arms for me as I pulled his shirt over his head. He made quick work of my bra and it was gone with nothing between us. His hands cupped my breasts as he brushed his thumb over each hard crest. “You are so fucking unbelievably gorgeous. Inside and out,” he whispered. “As much as I don’t deserve it I want to be buried inside you. I can’t wait. I just need to get as close to you as I can get.”
I scooted back from him and stood up. After slipping off my shoes, I unsnapped my shorts and pushed them down along with my panties then stepped out of them. He sat there watching me like I was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. It felt powerful. The embarrassment I expected to feel from standing naked in front of him wasn’t there.
“Get naked,” I said, looking down at his erection pressing against his jeans.
I thought that would get an amused chuckle from him but it didn’t. He stood up, quickly stepping out of his jeans and then sank back down on the couch pulling me with him.
“Straddle me,” he instructed. I did as I was told. “Now,” he gulped, “ease down on me.” I looked down and saw him holding the base of his cock. I grabbed onto his shoulders and slowly lowered myself as he handled everything else.
“Easy, baby. Slow and easy. You’re gonna be sore.”
I nodded and bit my bottom lip as the tip started to enter me. He moved the head back and forth over my opening, teasing me. I squeezed his shoulders and gasped. It felt good. So very good.
“That’s it. You’re getting so fucking wet. God, I want to taste it,” he growled.
Seeing the animalistic look in his eyes flipped a switch in me. I wanted to make him remember me. Remember this. I knew our time was limited and I knew I’d never forget him. Still, I wanted to know that when he walked away he’d never forget me. I didn’t want to be that one girl whose virginity he took.
Leaning forward, I waited until he rubbed the head against my entrance. Then I sank down hard with a loud cry as it filled me.
“ SHIT,” Rush shouted. I didn’t wait for him to worry about me. I was going to ride him. I understood the terminology now. I was in control of this. He started to open his mouth and say something but I stopped him by plunging my tongue into his mouth while I lifted my hips and sank back down onto him again harder. The groan and buckling sensation of his body under me assured me I was doing something right.
I broke apart so I could cry out as I began riding him faster and harder. The tenderness inside me was screaming out with the stretching of his entrance but it was a good pain.
“Blaire, oh holy fuck Blaire,” he ground out as his hands grabbed my hips and he let himself break free and enjoy the ride. His hands began taking over. He lifted me and slammed me back down onto him with fast and hard thrusts. Every curse and loud moan that escaped him made me wilder. I needed this with him.
The orgasm was building and I knew after a few more thrusts I was going to break apart on top of him. I wanted him to come too. I began rocking on him and letting out the loud cries I had been trying to control. “I’m gonna come,” I moaned as the sensation built.
“Fuck baby, so good,” he growled and then we both fell over the top together. His body bucked underneath me and then stilled. My name tore from his lips at the same time my body reached its climax.
When the tremors slowed and I could breathe again I wrapped my arms around his neck and collapsed on top of him.
Both his arms held me tightly to him as his breathing slowed. I liked the sweet sex we’d had last night but there was something to be said for fucking. I smiled to myself at the thought and turned my head to kiss his neck.
“Never. Never in all my life,” he panted running his hand down my back and cupping my bottom with a gentle squeeze. “That was. God, Blaire, I don’t have words.”
Smiling into his neck I knew I’d made my mark on this perfect, wounded, mysterious confusing man.
“I believe the word you are looking for is epic,” I said laughing as I leaned back so that I could look at him.
The tenderness in his eyes melted my heart a little more. “The most epic sex ever known to man,” he replied and reached out to tuck hair behind my ears. “I’m ruined. You know that right? You’ve ruined me.”
I wiggled my hips and I could feel him still inside me. “Hmmm no, I think you might still work.”
“God, woman you’re gonna have me hard and ready again. I need to clean you up.”
I traced his bottom lip with the pad of my finger. “I won’t bleed again. I did that already.”
Rush pulled my finger into his mouth and sucked on it gently before letting it go. “I wasn’t wearing a condom. I’m clean, though. I always wear a condom and I get checked regularly.”
I wasn’t sure how to process this. I hadn’t been thinking about a condom.
“I’m sorry. You got naked and my brain kind of checked out. I promise you I’m clean.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I believe you. I didn’t think about it either.”
Rush pulled me back against him. “Good because that was fucking unbelievable. I’ve never felt it without a condom. Knowing I was in you and feeling you bare makes me real damn happy. You felt amazing. All hot and wet and so very tight.”
I rocked against him. His dirty words in my ear made my ache wake back up. “Mmm,” I replied as I felt him grow hard again inside me.
“Are you on any birth control?”
I never had a reason to be. I shook my head.
He groaned and moved my hips off him until he was out of me. “We can’t do that again until you are. But you’ve got me all hard again.” He reached between my legs and ran a finger against my swollen clit. “So sexy,” he murmured. I let my head fall back and enjoyed his soft touch.
“Blaire, come take a shower with me,” he asked in a strained voice.
“Okay,” I said, looking back at him. He helped me up and then led me to his bigger than life bathroom.
“I want you in the shower. What we did out there was the best fucking I’ve ever had in my life. But in here it’s gonna be slower. I’m taking care of you.”
Chapter Twenty– One
Leaving Rush in bed this morning had been hard. He’d been sleeping so peacefully I hadn’t wanted to wake him up. I’d refrained from kissing his face before I left. Asleep he seemed so worry free. I didn’t realize how intense and on guard he was until I’d watched him sleep and seen him completely at peace.
Opening the door to the staffroom I was greeted to the smell of fresh donuts and a smiling Jimmy.
“Good morning sunshine,” he said cheerily as always.
“That remains to be seen… are you gonna share those donuts or not?”
He held the box out to me. “I bought two extras just for you doll. I knew my blond bombshell was coming to work today and I didn’t want to be empty handed.”
I sat down across from him and reached for my donut. “If I thought you’d enjoy it I’d kiss your face,” I teased.
Jimmy wiggled his eyebrows, “Who knows, baby? A face like yours can lead a man astray.”
Laughing, I took a bite of the fluffy warm goodness. This wasn’t healthy but it was so dang good.
“Eat up because we got us a long ass day ahead. The debutante ball is tonight and we won’t be in the dining room. We’ll all be sent to the ballroom and forced to walk around with trays of food and then serve them all at a sit down dinner.”
Debutante ball? What the heck was that? “Is that why there are so many trucks outside with flowers and decorations?”
Jimmy nodded and reached for another chocolate covered donut. “Yep. Happens every year during this week. Crazy rich mommas strut their daughters around and introduce them to society. After tonight, the girls will be considered women and treated as an adult member of the club. They can be on committees and the like. It’s crazy ass bullshit is what it is. Especially since Nan turned twenty-one a few weeks back. That means she gets to be released into mother fucking adulthood.”
Nan was a debutante. That was interesting. Her mother wasn’t here. Did this mean she was returning? My heart sped up… I’d have to leave soon. Rush hadn’t told me that anything had changed about my moving out. When I left would he still see me?
“Breathe, Blaire. It’s just a damn ball,” Jimmy said. I took a deep breath. I hadn’t realized I’d started to panic. This is why I’d wanted to keep my distance. I knew this day was coming. Would my dad be home today then?
“What time does it start?” I managed to ask without a hitch in my voice.
“Seven but they will close down the dinning at five to get us ready.”
I nodded and put the rest of my donut down. I couldn’t finish it. Today would be a waiting game. I felt the phone in my pocket but I couldn’t text Rush. I didn’t want him to tell me any bad news through a text message. I’d just wait.
“Blaire, I need to see you a moment in my office,” Woods’ voice broke into my thoughts. My eyes shot to Jimmy’s and his were wide with concern. Great. What had I done?
I stood up and turned to face Woods. He didn’t look angry. He smiled at me and it gave me the courage I needed to walk toward him. He held the door open for me and I stepped out into the hall.
“Relax, Blaire. You aren’t in trouble. We just need to discuss tonight.”
Oh. Whew. I took a deep breath and nodded then followed him to a door at the end of the hall.
“I don’t get anything glamorous. Dad believes in making me work my way to the top. Even if I’ll inherit the club one day.” Woods rolled his eyes while opening the office door and waved me inside. The room was as large as my bedroom at Rush’s. It had two large picture windows overlooking the eighteenth hole.
Woods walked over to sit on the edge of his desk instead of behind it. I appreciated his trying not to make this very formal. That would make me nervous.
“The Debutante Ball is tonight. It is an annual event around here. We make spoiled little rich bitches into adults. It’s a stupid pain in the ass that makes the club over fifty million dollars in profits with fees, donations and the like. So we can’t stop the nonsense. Not that my mother would if she could. She was a debutante once upon a time and you’d think she had been crowned queen of England to hear her talk about it.”
I wasn’t feeling better about tonight. This explanation was making it worse.
“Nan is twenty– one now. So, she’ll be a debutante. I looked over the line up and Rush will be her escort; it’s traditional for the girl’s father or older brother to escort her. The escort must also be a member of the club. I don’t know what is going on with you and Rush but I do know that Nan hates you. I don’t need drama tonight. I do however, need you. You’re one of our best. Question is, can you do this without a catfight? Because Nan will do her best to push your buttons. It will be all on you to ignore it. You may be dating a member but you’re the help. Doesn’t change that. The member is always right. The club will have to side with Nan if a fight were to break out.”
What was he expecting? This wasn’t high school. We were all adults. I could ignore Nan and Rush all night if need be.
“I can do this. No problem.”
Woods gave a brisk nod. “Good, because the pay is excellent and you need the experience.”
“I can do it,” I reassured him.
Woods stood up. “I’m trusting that you can. You can go help Jimmy with breakfast now. He is probably cursing us both.”
The rest of the day flew by and I was so busy with preparations that had no time to think about Nan or my father’s return. Or Rush. Now I was standing in the kitchen with every other server on staff. I was in a white and black server dress with my hair pulled up onto my head in a bun. I was beginning to get butterflies in my stomach.
This was the first time I’d have to face the differences between Rush and me. His world versus mine. They would collide tonight. I had prepared myself for any remarks Nan might make about me. I had even spoken with Jimmy about being a buffer and keeping me from having to go near Nan. I wanted to see Rush or even speak to him but I had a feeling that would be frowned on.
“Show time. Hors d'oeuvres and drinks people. You know your job. Let’s go.” Darla was running the show tonight backstage. I picked up my tray of martinis and headed for the line-up at the door. Everyone left quickly and we all made different paths through the crowd. Mine was a semicircle clockwise. Unless I saw Nan, then I turned counterclockwise and Jimmy went clockwise. It was a good plan. I just hoped it worked.
The first couple I walked up to didn’t even acknowledge me as they chatted and took a drink from the tray. That was easy enough. I made it through several more groups. Some of the men and women I recognized from the golf course. They would always nod and smile when they noticed me but that was it.
Halfway through the room my tray was empty and I made a mental note of the stopping point. I hurried back to the kitchen for more drinks. Darla was waiting for me. She shoved a new tray of martinis at me and shooed me away.
I made it back to my spot only having to stop twice and allow someone to get a drink off the tray. Mr. Jenkins called out my name and waved. I smiled back at him. He played eighteen holes every Friday and Saturday. It amazed me that a ninety-year-old man could get around that well. He also came in for coffee black and two poached eggs Monday through Friday mornings.
As I turned back from smiling his way my eyes locked with Rush’s. I had tried hard not to look for him although I knew he was here. It was Nan’s big night. Rush wouldn’t miss it. No reason he should. She was mean but she was his sister. It was me she detested. Not him.
His face looked pained and his small smile was forced. I smiled back at him trying really hard not to think about his weird greeting. At least he had looked my way. I hadn’t known what to expect from him.
Doctor and Mrs. Wallace both greeted me and told me they missed seeing me on the golf course. I lied and told them I missed it too. Then I headed back to the kitchen for yet another tray.
Darla shoved a tray with champagne at me, “Go, go, hurry,” she barked.
I walked as swiftly as I could with a tray full of champagne flutes. Once in the ballroom I started my same path again through members who were deeper in conversations and I was just a tray of drinks. I liked this better. I didn’t feel on edge.
Bethy’s familiar giggle caught my attention and I turned to look for her. I hadn’t seen her in the kitchen earlier. I’d assumed Darla hadn’t wanted her to work this function. Or Woods’ dad hadn’t.
Bethy wasn’t dressed like us. She had on a clingy black chiffon dress and her long brown hair was piled up on her head with ringlets hanging down around her face. She turned her head, catching my eyes, and she broke into a huge grin. I watched as she hurried over to me. The stiletto heels she was wearing didn’t even slow her down.
“Can you believe that I’m here as a guest?” Bethy asked, looking around us in awe and then back at me. I shook my head because I couldn’t.
“When Jace came to my apartment on his knees and begging last night I told him if he wanted me he had to claim me as his girlfriend in public. He agreed and well, you get the picture. Things got real hot up in my apartment. But anyways here I am,” she gushed.
Jace had manned up. Good for him. I glanced over her shoulder to see Jace watching us. I smiled at him and nodded my approval. He flashed me a crooked grin with a shrug.
“I’m glad to know he got some sense knocked into him,” I replied.
Bethy squeezed my arm. “Thank you,” she whispered.
She didn’t have anything to thank me for but I smiled. “Go have a good time. I’ve got to get these all passed out before your aunt comes out here and catches me talking.”
“Okay. I will, I wish you could enjoy it with me, though.” Her eyes glanced over my shoulder. I knew she was looking at Rush. He was here and he was ignoring me in front of all these people. He was doing it for Nan’s sake but did that make it any better?
It slowly dawned on me. I’d become Bethy.
“I need the money so I can get my own place,” I told her with a forced smile. “Go mingle,” I encouraged her and walked off to the next group of people.
The eyes following me sent a burning sensation up my neck. I knew Rush was watching me. I didn’t have to turn and see him to confirm it. Had he just had the same realization that I had? I doubted it. He was a guy. I had become available and easy. I was also the world’s greatest hypocrite. I was now guilty of what I’d scolded and pitied Bethy for.
The last champagne flute left my tray and I walked back through the crowd careful not to go near Rush or Nan. I didn’t even glance their way. I had some pride left. I only had to stop three times for guests to put their empty flutes on my tray as I hurried back to the safety of the kitchen.
“Good you’re back. Take this tray. We need some food out there before they all drink too much and we have a high-faluting drunken mess on our hands,” Darla said, handing me a tray of things I didn’t recognize. They also smelled bad. I scrunched my nose and held the tray away from me. Darla cackled with laughter.
“It’s escargot, snails. They’re disgusting but these people think they are a delicacy. Get over the smell and go.” I felt my stomach roll. I could have done without that explanation. Escargot would have been a sufficient description.
When I reached the entrance to the ballroom I steadied myself and tried not to think about the snails I was giving people to eat or the fact that Rush was in there acting like he didn’t know me at all. After I’d spent the past two nights in his bed.
“You doing okay?” Woods asked when I walked inside the room. He was at my elbow looking concerned.
“Yes. Except for the fact I’m giving people snails to eat,” I replied. Woods chuckled, took one from my tray and popped it into his mouth.
“You should try one. They’re really very good. Especially soaked in garlic and butter.”
My stomach rolled again and I shook my head. Woods laughed out loud this time. “You always make things more interesting, Blaire,” he said, leaning down toward my ear. “I’m sorry about Rush. Just for the record, if you’d have chosen me you wouldn’t be working tonight. You’d be on my arm.”
I felt my face flush. It was enough to know I was a dirty little secret but for others to realize it was humiliating. I’d wanted Rush, though. So bad. Well, I’d got my wish alright.
“I need the money. I am very close to being able to afford a place of my own,” I informed him matter of factly.
Woods gave me a brisk nod and a sympathetic smile before turning to greet an elderly guest who was passing by. I took that moment to get away. I had snails to feed people.
Jimmy caught my eye and he winked at me reassuringly. He’d taken care of Rush’s side of the room brilliantly. I hadn’t even gotten close to him. Bethy smiled brightly at me when I arrived at her group. Her smile died when she looked at the food on my tray.
“What is that?” she asked in horror.
“You don’t want to know,” I informed her, causing Jace and a guy I wasn’t familiar with to laugh.
“Probably best that you let this pass on by,” Jace told Bethy as he tucked his hand around her waist and pulled her closer to his side affectionately.
She beamed up at him and that was all the sweet romance I could take. I hurried on to the next group. The curly red hair was familiar. It took me a second to place her. The evil venom in her smile reminded me exactly where I’d seen her before. She had been after Woods at Rush’s house the night of Nan’s party. I hadn’t made a fan that night thanks to Woods.
“Isn’t this fun?” she said, turning her attention away from the couple she’d been talking to and focusing on me. “Guess Woods decided you were more suited to work for him than date him.” She giggled and shook her head causing the red curls to bounce around. “I swear, this makes my night.” She reached up and tipped my tray.
Snails ran down the front of my shirt followed by the tray clattering loudly on the floor. I was too stunned to move or speak.
“Oh and look she’s super clumsy. Woods should be pickier about his employees,” the girl hissed hatefully.
“Ohmygod! Blaire, are you okay?” Bethy’s voice came from behind me snapping me out of my shock.
I managed to shake off the snails still clinging to my clothing.
“Move,” commanded a deep voice that I instantly recognized. My head shot up to find Rush pushing past the couple with the red head who seemed to be laughing at the mess I was in. He was angry. There was no mistaking that. Rush grabbed me by the waist and studied my face a moment. I wasn’t sure what for. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded, not sure how to react just yet.
The veins in his neck were once again straining against his skin as he swallowed hard. He barely turned his head to cut his eyes toward the red head. “Don’t come near me or her again. Understood?” he said in a deadly calm.
The girl’s eyes went wide. “What are you mad at me for? She’s the clumsy one. She dumped the whole tray all over herself.”
Rush’s hands clenched tightly on my hips. “If you utter one more word I’ll threaten to remove all my contributions from this club until you are escorted out. Permanently.”
The girl gasped, “But I’m Nan’s friend, Rush. Her oldest friend. You wouldn’t do that to me. Especially for the hired help.” The childish pout in her voice was odd coming from a twenty– one year old woman.
