Текст книги "Never Too Far"

Автор книги: Abbi Glines

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

I’d left her standing in the driveway late at night alone. Thank God she had a phone. The idea of her being stranded in the dark was more than I could handle right now. “Is she upset?” What I really wanted to ask was if she was upset with me. How could she not be upset with me? I’d run out on her after screaming for her to get out of my car. When mom had told me about Nan something in me had switched and I’d lost it.

“He said he was going to look after her…” Grant trailed off. I knew what he was thinking. Leaving Woods to look after Blaire was dangerous. He was rich, successful and his family didn’t hate her. What if she realized I was a waste of her time?

“She’s pregnant,” I told him. I had to tell someone.

“Oh hell,” he muttered and sank down onto the hard plastic chair that sat in the corner of the room. “When did you find out?”

“She told me shortly after she came back.”

Grant covered his mouth and shook his head. That hadn’t been something he’d expected to hear. But then he didn’t know we were engaged either. He’d left Rosemary already when I’d proposed. I hadn’t told him.

“That’s why you proposed?” it wasn’t really a question. It was more of a statement.

“How’d you know about that?”

He shifted his eyes to Nan, “Nan told me.”

Nan had needed to vent I was sure. The fact she had chosen Grant to vent to was interesting. Normally those two were at each other’s throats. Rarely did they spend quality time together.

“She wasn’t happy about it,” I said.

“No, she wasn’t,” he agreed.

I looked over at her and wished to God I could trade places with her right now. I hated that she needed me and this was something I couldn’t fix for her. I’d been fixing her problems her entire life. And now when she needed me most all I could do was sit here and stare at her helplessly.

“She thinks you’ve lost your mind. If she knew about the baby she’d think you asked Blaire just because of the baby.”

“I didn’t ask her because of the baby. I asked her because I can’t live without her. I just need Nan to understand that. I’ve spent my life making Nan happy. Trying my damnedest to fix her problems. I was mother and father to her. And now that I have found what makes me happy she can’t accept it.” I felt my throat close up and I shook my head. I was not going to cry. “I just wanted her to accept that Blaire made me happy.”

Grant let out a deep sigh. “I think in time she will. Nan wants you happy too. She just thinks she knows what is best for you. Just like you think you know what is best for her.” The tone in his voice as he said that last part was off. He’d meant something deeper than what he was saying. Or I was just exhausted and I needed to take a nap.

“I hope so,” I replied, then laid my head back on the chair and closed my eyes. “I need a nap. I can’t keep this up. My head is getting fuzzy.”

The chair he’d been sitting in scraped across the floor as he stood up. I listened as he walked across the room back toward the door. “Check in on Blaire for me. Please,” I asked, opening my eyes to make sure he was still there and heard me.

“I will,” he assured me then walked out the door.

Two days later and still no sign of improvement. Nan wasn’t waking up. I had gotten up to take a shower and change because my mother insisted. I couldn’t deal with her and worry about Nan. I just did as she asked to shut her up.

Today Grant had sat in here with me most of the day. We hadn’t talked much but having someone else here helped. My mother said she couldn’t handle it and stayed at the hotel most of the time. Occasionally Abe would step in to check on her but I didn’t expect any more from him. He never checked on the daughter he’d raised either. The man was missing a vital organ, a heart.

“I talked to Blaire today,” Grant said, breaking the silence. Just hearing her name made me ache. I missed her. I wanted her here but that would only upset everyone. I needed Nan better. When she woke up she didn’t need to know Blaire was here. It would only upset her.

“What did she sound like?” Did she hate me?

“Good. I guess. Maybe sad. She’s worried about you and Nan. She asks about Nan before she asks about you. She also… she also asked if her father was okay today. Not sure why she cares but she did.”

Because Blaire cared more than she should about everyone. Me included. She was too good for me and I was only going to keep hurting her. My family wouldn’t accept her. The father that deserted her and her mother was now married to my mom. I’d started that whole ball rolling with the damn picture. All I would ever do is hurt her in the long run.

“She has a doctor’s appointment today. Woods told me he’s taking her. She doesn’t know I know about the baby.”

Another doctor’s appointment I was going to miss. How much longer was she going to put up with this? I’d told her she and our baby came first but this was the second time my family came before her doctor’s appointment. And why the hell was Woods taking her?

“Why is Woods taking her? I have three vehicles in the garage.”

Grant shot me an annoyed frown. “Yeah, you do. But you never gave her permission to drive one and never told her where she could find the keys so she won’t touch them. Woods has been her chauffer all damn week.”

Fuck.

“I know you’re hurting because of Nan. She’s like your child. You’re the only real parent she’s ever had. But if you don’t snap out of this and contact Blaire I’m not sure she and your baby are going to be around when you decide to go home. Sure don’t want my niece or nephew having the last name Kerrington,” he snapped and stalked out of the room.

Blaire

I sat in the waiting room and tried hard not to look at the other pregnant women also waiting. There were three of us. The woman across from me was snuggled up against her husband’s arm. He kept whispering into her ear making her smile. His hand never left her stomach. There was no possessiveness in his demeanor. Just protectiveness. It was if he was protecting his wife and child with that simple gesture.

The other lady was much further along than either of us and her baby was moving. Her husband had both his hands on her stomach as he stared at her in awe. There was a sweet worshipful look on his face. They were sharing a moment and just glancing over in that direction made me feel as if I were intruding on it.

Then there was me. With Woods. I had told him he didn’t need to come with me but he said he’d like to. He wasn’t going back in the exam room because I wasn’t about to let him see me almost naked in a thin cotton exam robe but he was going to sit in the waiting room.

He had fixed himself a cup of the complimentary coffee and since he’d only taken one sip I assumed it tasted horrible. I missed coffee. It would probably be delicious to me. I needed to buy some decaffeinated coffee.

“Blaire Wynn,” the nurse called out from the doorway leading back to the exam rooms.

I stood up and smiled down at Woods. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

He shrugged. “I’m not in a hurry.”

“Your husband can come back with you,” the nurse said cheerily. My face was instantly warm. I knew without looking my cheeks were flushed.

“He’s just a friend,” I quickly corrected her.

This time she was the one turning pink. She obviously hadn’t read over my record to see that I was single. “I’m so sorry. Uh, well he can come back too if he wants to hear the heart beat.”

I shook my head. That was too personal. Woods was a friend but I wasn’t ready to share something as important as my baby’s heartbeat with him. Rush hadn’t even heard the baby’s heartbeat yet. “No, that’s okay.”

I didn’t glance back at Woods because I was embarrassed for both of us. He was just helping out. Being labeled as the baby daddy hadn’t been what he’d signed up for.

The exam didn’t take long. This time I’d been able to hear the baby’s heartbeat without having a wand stuck inside me. It had been just as loud and sweet as before. The pregnancy was progressing well and I was cleared to go with an appointment for four weeks from now.

Walking back out into the waiting room I found Woods reading a Parentingmagazine. He looked up at me and smiled sheepishly. “The reading material here is limited,” he explained.

I stifled a laugh.

He stood up and we walked out of the door together.

Once we were in the car he looked over at me. “You hungry?”

I was actually but the longer I spent with Woods the more uncomfortable I felt. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Rush wouldn’t like this. He had never liked me being around Woods much. Even though I had needed a ride I was starting to worry this was a bad idea. It was better if Woods just drove me back to Rush’s house.

“I’m more tired than anything. Can you just take me back to Rush’s?” I asked

“Of course,” he replied with a smile. Woods was really easy to deal with. I liked that. I wasn’t in the mood for difficult.

“Have you talked to Rush yet?” he asked.

That wasn’t a question I wanted to answer. So much for not being difficult. I just shook my head. He didn’t need an explanation and if he did too bad because I didn’t have one. I’d broken down and called Rush two nights ago and it had gone directly to voice mail. I’d left him a message but he hadn’t called back. I was beginning to wonder if he was hoping I’d just be gone when he returned. How long was I supposed to stay at his house?

“He isn’t dealing with this well, I imagine. He’ll call you soon,” Woods said. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t even believe what he was saying. It was just to make me feel better. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so he wouldn’t say anymore. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to talk about anything.

Woods turned the radio on and we drove in silence the rest of the way back to Rosemary. When the car came to a stop I opened my eyes to see Rush’s house in front of me. I was back.

“Thank you,” I said, looking over at Woods. His expression was serious. I could tell he was thinking about something that he didn’t want to share with me. I didn’t need to ask to know what it was. He thought I should leave too. Rush wasn’t going to call and there was a chance he might not come back. I couldn’t just live in his house.

“Call me if you need anything,” Woods said meeting my gaze.

I nodded but I’d already made up my mind I wasn’t going to call him anymore. Even if Rush didn’t care what I did it just didn’t feel right. I opened the car door and stepped out. With a final wave I headed to the front door and back into the empty house.

Rush

Seven days and Nan still hadn’t opened her eyes. My mother was stopping by less and less. Grant was starting to be the only visitor that stayed around and showed up regularly. Abe stopped by once a day for only a few minutes at a time. It was Nan and me against the world once again.

“You need to call her,” Grant said, breaking the silence. I knew who he was talking about. Blaire was constantly on my mind. I felt guilty as I sat here staring at my sister and all I could think about was Blaire.

“I can’t,” I replied, unable to look at him. He’d see that I’d given up hope if I did.

“This isn’t fair to her. Woods said she isn’t coming around and she hasn’t called him in three days. He keeps a check on things through Bethy but even Bethy isn’t sure Blaire is going to stay much longer. You just need to call her.”

Leaving me would be the best thing she ever did. How could I be what she deserved if I was torn between my sister and her all the time? I couldn’t keep Nan safe. How could she trust me to keep her and our baby safe?

“She deserves better,” I managed to say it aloud. Instead of just chanting it in my head.

“Yeah, she probably does. But she wants you.”

God, that hurt. I wanted her too. I wanted our baby. I wanted that life I let myself pretend we could have. How could I give that to her if my sister never woke up? I’d be riddled with guilt and pain. I wouldn’t be the man she deserved. This would eventually eat at me until I was worthless to anyone.

“I can’t,” was all I managed to say.

Grant swore and stood up, slinging his jacket on the floor before he walked out of the room slamming the door behind him. He didn’t understand. No one did. I just stared at the wall across from me. I was starting to go numb. I was losing everything I’d ever let myself love.

The door opened and I looked over expecting to see Grant. Instead it was Abe. I wasn’t in the mood to see him. He’d deserted the two people I loved most in the world at some point in their lives.

“Why the fuck do you even come here? You don’t give a shit,” I snarled.

Abe didn’t respond. He walked over to the chair that Grant had just vacated and sat down. He never sat down and stayed for any length of time. The fact he was going to right now didn’t sit well with me. I needed to be alone.

“I do give a shit. Your mother doesn’t know I’m here. She wouldn’t approve of what I’m about to tell you. But I think you deserve to know.”

There was nothing that man had to say that I wanted to hear but I remained silent and waited. The quicker he said what he wanted the sooner he’d be gone.

“Nanette isn’t my daughter. Your mother has always known that. She wanted Nan to be mine but we both knew when she got pregnant that it was impossible. We’d been broken up for over eight months when she called me. She had just found out she was pregnant and she was scared. She was still in love with your dad which was why we broke up to begin with. I couldn’t live up to the legend that was Dean Finlay. I wanted to be enough for someone. I never would be for Georgianna. But I loved her and she was worried about how she was going to manage another child. I was young and stupid so I went back to her and we talked about marriage. I told her I’d have to think about it.” He stopped and looked over at me. I was still reeling from the fact that he wasn’t Nan’s father.

“Once I got there Georgie was leaving you with Dean whenever she could and still going out with friends as if she wasn’t pregnant. She wouldn’t tell me who the dad was. I had just about met my limit when Rebecca came to visit.” His eyes went soft and he briefly closed them. I’d never seen the man show that much emotion.

“She was gorgeous. Long blond hair that looked like it was spun by angels. The biggest green eyes I’d ever seen and so damn sweet. She loved you. She didn’t like your mother taking you to Dean. She worried you weren’t safe with a bunch of rock stars. She kept you when your mother went out. She made you these pancakes with Mickey Mouse ears that you loved. I was drawn to her and I couldn’t leave. Your mother used us both for awhile. Rebecca wouldn’t leave because she worried about you. And I wouldn’t leave because I’d fallen in love with Becca.” This was not the story my mother had told me. This wasn’t the story I’d been led to believe all these years but now that I’d met Blaire… that I knew her… this made a hell of a lot more sense.

“Your mom came home drunk one night. She wasn’t far along in her pregnancy and she announced that Dean was the daddy of this baby too. I was furious that she’d been drinking and even more furious that your father had done this yet again with no intention of doing right by Georgie. So I called him and told him I wanted to talk to him. The talk didn’t go well. He said that the baby wasn’t his. If it was his he’d gladly claim it but it wasn’t. She’d been sleeping with the lead singer of Slacker Demon for over a month. The baby wasKiro’s and well, you’ve grown up around Kiro. You know him well enough to know he isn’t father material.”

Kiro was Nan’s father? I buried my face in my hands as different memories came back to me. Kiro coming over late yelling and cursing at my mom about stealing his kid.Kiro calling my mom a cheap slut and hoping ‘his girl’ didn’t end up the same way. I’d forgotten those things. Or I’d just blocked them out.

“Through this Becca and I got closer. Dean took you and swore he was going to take care of what was his. Your mother cursed and shoved Becca down a flight of stairs calling her names I will not repeat and told us both to leave after she caught me kissing Becca one night. We left after that. Becca cried a lot because she was worried about you. She always worried about you.”

When he talked about Becca all I could see was Blaire’s face. Her sweet innocent face and my chest felt like it was about to explode.

“I asked Becca to marry me. She agreed. Weeks after our honeymoon we found out she was pregnant with twins. Those girls were my world. I adored the ground they walked on just as much as I adored their mother. Never a day went by that I wasn’t thankful for the life I’d been given.” He stopped and choked on a sob.

“Then one day Val and I were driving back from shopping. We’d gone to get her some shoes for volleyball. Her foot had grown over the summer but Blaire’s hadn’t. They were nearly identical but it was starting to look like Blaire might be the shorter one out of the two. We were laughing about me singing along to some silly boy band on the radio. I missed… I missed the red light. We were hit on Val’s side of the car by a truck going eighty miles an hour.” He stopped and ran a hand over his face to wipe the tears and let out another sob.

“I lost my baby girl. I hadn’t been paying attention. With her, I lost my wife who couldn’t look at me and my other daughter who was only a shell of the girl she’d been. Then you showed up with that picture of Nanette and instead of sticking it out and being the man my girls needed me to be, I fled. I told myself they deserved more than I could give them. I’d never be able to forgive myself. I’d never be able to move on and seeing me would only hurt them more. So I left them. I hated myself then; I hate myself now. But I’m a weak man. I should have stayed. When I found out Becca was sick I went on a drinking binge. The idea of a world without Becca in it was impossible for me to accept. But going to see my vibrant wife, who I loved and will always love, lying there dying wasn’t something I could do. I’d buried my daughter. I couldn’t bury my wife. Because I was weak I left my baby girl to bury her momma. I will never forgive myself for that.” He finally looked my way.

“All you see is a selfish man who only thinks of himself. You’re right. I don’t deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness. I don’t want it. Your mother and Nan wanted me. They both acted like they needed me. I could pretend with them. The truth is your mother is as lost and broken as I am. Maybe for different reasons but we’re both empty inside. I was going to come clean with all this and tell Nan three months ago. I couldn’t continue this farce. I just wanted to go sit by my wife’s grave and grieve. But then Blaire called me. She needed me, but I had nothing to give. So I lied to her. I didn’t know much about the man you’d become but I knew one thing. You loved fiercely. You would do anything for your sister. I had no doubt in my mind that the moment you laid eyes on Blaire that she’d get to you. The sweet gentle spirit that was in her mother is in Blaire. Val was me. But Blaire… she is my Becca. She is so much like her. No man can be around her and not love her. I wanted someone strong and capable of taking care of her. So I sent her to you.” He wiped away the rest of his tears and stood up. I was speechless.

“Don’t become me. Don’t let her down like I did. You only deserve what you make yourself worthy of. Do what I couldn’t. Be a man.” Abe turned and walked out without another word.

Blaire

I hadn’t been asleep very long when the phone rang. It was the middle of the night and only a few people had my number. My stomach knotted up as I reached for my phone. It was Rush.

“Hello,” I said almost afraid of what he’d called to tell me.

“Hey, it’s me.” His voice sounded like he’d been crying. Oh god… please don’t let Nan be dead.

“Is she okay?” I asked, hoping that this time God had actually heard my prayer.

“She’s awake. She’s a little disoriented but she knew me when she opened her eyes so her memory is good.”

“Oh thank God.” I sat down on the bed and decided I needed to try this praying thing a little more often.

“I’m sorry, Blaire. I’m so sorry.” His voice was hoarse. I could hear the pain laced in his words and I didn’t have to ask what he meant. This was it. He just couldn’t say it.

“It’s okay. Just take care of Nan. I’m really glad she’s okay Rush. You may not believe that but I’ve been praying. I wanted her to be okay.” I needed him to believe me. Even if there was no love lost between Nan and I she was important to him.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m coming home. I’ll be there no later than tomorrow night.”

I wasn’t sure if this meant he wanted me gone by then or would we’d do our goodbyes in person. Running would be so much easier. Not having to face him. It hurt bad enough on the phone. Seeing his face was going to be so hard but I couldn’t let it destroy me. I had our baby to think about. This wasn’t just about me anymore.

“I’ll see you then,” I replied.

“I love you.” Hearing the words hurt more than anything else. I wanted to believe he did but it wasn’t enough. The love he might feel for me wasn’t enough.

“I love you too,” I replied and hung up the phone before curling into a ball and crying myself to sleep.

The doorbell rang just as I was getting out of the shower. I grabbed the clothes I’d laid out to wear and quickly got dressed before wrapping my hair in a towel and hurrying downstairs.

When I opened the door and saw my father standing there I wasn’t sure what to think. Had Rush sent him to get rid of me? No. Rush wouldn’t do that. But why was he here?

“Hey, Blaire. I, uh, came to talk to you.” He didn’t look like he’d slept in days and his clothes were rumpled. Seeing the daughter he didlove in the hospital must have been hard on him. I pushed that bitterness away. I wasn’t going to think about that. He was Nan’s dad too. At least he was there for her now even if he’d screwed her over the first part of her life.

“What about?” I asked, not moving to let him in. I wasn’t sure there was anything he had to say that I wanted to hear.

“It’s about Nan… and you.”

I shook my head. “Don’t care. I’m not up for hearing anything you have to say. Your daughter woke up. I’m glad she didn’t die.” I started to close the door.

“Nan isn’t my daughter,” he said. The only words that would have stopped me from slamming the door in his face. I let his words sink in as I slowly opened the door back up. What did he mean Nan wasn’t his daughter?

I just stared at him. This made no sense.

“I need to tell you the truth. Rush is going to tell Nan when she’s ready. But I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

What did Rush know? Had he been lying to me? I wasn’t sure I could breathe. “Rush?” I asked, backing up in case I couldn’t get a deep breath and passed out. I needed to sit down.

“I told Rush everything yesterday. He had been told the same lie you had but he knows the truth now.”

The truth. What was the truth? Was there a truth or was my entire existence a lie? I sank down onto the steps and stared up at the man I thought was my father as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“I’ve always known Nan wasn’t my daughter. More importantly, your mother knew Nan wasn’t my daughter. You’re right, your mother would have never allowed me to leave my pregnant fiancéand run off with her. Not for anything. She almost didn’t let me leave my ex‑girlfriend who was pregnant with yet another member of Slacker Demon’s kid because she was worried about what would happen to Rush. Her heart was just as big as you know it was. Nothing you knew was a lie, Blaire. Nothing. The world you knew was not a lie.”

“I don’t understand. I know my momma wasn’t involved in any of this. That was never a question in my mind. But I don’t understand. If you aren’t Nan’s dad, why did you leave us for them?”

“I met your mother while trying to help my ex‑girlfriend deal with her latest problem. Your mother had come to help her friend too. We both cared about Georgianna. She’d needed us and we tried to help. But while she was out partying and acting like she didn’t have a little boy at home to take care of and a pregnancy she was ignoring, I fell in love with your mother. She was everything Georgianna wasn’t. I adored her, and for whatever reason, she fell in love with me. When we left, Dean had come to take Rush and Kiro, the lead singer of Slacker Demon and Nan’s real father, had stepped in to offer his assistance. Georgianna found out about Becca and me. She sent us packing and we gladly went. Your mother worried over Rush and called Dean to check on him for awhile.”

“Mom knew Rush?” Picturing my mother taking care of Rush as a little boy stuck with two screwed up parents brought tears to my eyes. He’d known how wonderful my mother was once even if he didn’t remember.

“Yeah. He called her Beck Beck. He preferred her overGeorgianna and that didn’t settle well with Georgie either. Once Georgianna got Rush back she refused to let your mother check on him. Your mother cried for weeks worrying over the little boy she’d grown to love. But that was your mom. Always caring too much. Her heart was bigger than anyone I’d ever known… until you. You’re just like her, sweetheart.”

I held up my hands to stop him. We would not be bonding over this. I wasn’t crying because I knew my mother was innocent of the lies I’d heard before. I was crying because she’d loved Rush once too, his entire childhood hadn’t been lonely.

“I’m almost done. Let me finish, then I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again. I swear.”

He knew I was leaving too. That this thing with Rush and me was over. The sharp pain in my chest was almost too much.

“Val’s death was my fault. I ran that red light. I hadn’t been paying attention and I lost one of my girls that day. But I lost you and your mother too. You were both hurting so bad and it was all my fault. I wasn’t man enough to stay and bear seeing you both in so much pain. So I ran. I let you take care of Becca when it should have been me but I was too weak. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing my Becca sick. It would end me. I drank myself into a stupor. It was the only way to stay numb. Then you called and said she’d died. My Becca wasn’t on this earth any longer. I was going to tell Nan the truth about her father and I was going to leave. I wasn’t sure where I’d go but I didn’t care if I lived or died.

Then you called and needed me. I wasn’t even a man anymore. I was worthless. But I couldn’t let you down. I’d already made you suffer so much alone. I sent you to Rush. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy a man wants his daughter around but I knew he’d see in you what I saw in Becca. A lifeline. A reason to live.A reason to fight.A reason to change. He was strong. He could protect you and I knew if pushed he would.”

This was all too much. I couldn’t make sense of it. He had sent me to Rush? The guy who adored a sister who hated me and blamed me for everything wrong in her life?

“He hated me,” I told him. “He hated who I was.”

My father’s smile was sad. “Yes, he hated who he thought you were, but then he met you. He was around you and that was all it took. You are rare, Blaire. Just as your mother was. There aren’t many people in this world as strong as you are. As full of love and willing to forgive. You always envied the way Val could charm a room. You thought she got the best out of the two of you. But what Val knew and what I knew was that we were the lucky ones because we had people like you and your mother in our lives. Val adored you. She saw that you were the one that had your mother’s spirit. We stood in awe of the both of you. I still do and although all I’ve done is hurt you since the day we lost your sister, I have loved you. I always will. You’re my little girl. You deserve the best in this world and I’m not the best. I’m walking away and I’m not going to bother you ever again. I need to live out the rest of this life alone. Remembering what I once had.”

The grief in his eyes tore at my soul. He was right. He’d deserted me and momma when we needed him the most. But maybe we’d deserted him too. We hadn’t gone after him. We’d just let him go. The day we lost Valerie had marked all our lives. Momma and Val were gone now and we could never get them back. But we were here. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life knowing my father was out there somewhere alone. My momma wouldn’t want that. She never wanted him to be alone. She loved him until she drew her last breath. Val wouldn’t want that. She’d been a daddy’s girl.

I stood up and took a step toward him. The unshed tears in his eyes slowly began to trickle down his face. He was a shell of the man he once was but he was my dad. A sob tore from my chest and I threw myself into his arms. When they wrapped around me and held me tightly I let all the pain free. I cried for the life we’d lost. I cried for him because he wasn’t strong enough and I cried for me because it was time.

Rush

The house was dark and silent when I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Would Blaire have turned out all the lights if she were here alone? I’d been so focused on getting home to her after talking with Nan that I hadn’t let myself consider she could have left me. Would she have left me?

I turned and took the stairs two at a time. Once I hit the top step I started running. My heart was pounding in my chest. She couldn’t be gone. I’d told her I loved her. I’d told her I was coming home. She had to be here. I had to tell her everything. I had to tell her things would be different. I had to tell her I remembered her mom. I remembered those Mickey Mouse pancakes. I had to tell her I was going to be the man she needed. I was going to be the best damn father the world had ever known.

I jerked the door open leading up to my room and darted up the steps needing to see her. God, let her be there. Please let her be there.

The bed was empty. No. NO! I scanned the room for her things. Something to tell me she hadn’t left me. She couldn’t have left me. I’d chase her down. I’d get on my knees and grovel. I’d be her damn shadow until she gave in and forgave me.