Текст книги "Desperate Chances "

Автор книги: A. Meredith Walters

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

My good mood was instantly gone. I looked over at Sophie and could see she wasn’t amused.

“Babe—” I began but stopped because she was already on her feet.

“I’ll see you on the bus,” Sophie said quietly and with a barely there smile to the rest of the guys, she left.

“What crawled up her ass?” Cole asked.

“Dude, did you have to bring her up? In front of Sophie? You know that shit’s not cool!” I snapped.

Cole frowned. “I don’t get it. You’ve been with Sophie for what? A year? Why is my bringing up some old shit with Gracie a problem?”

I looked to Garrett and Jordan for help but neither of them said anything. Assholes.

“Because—”

“Because you boned her? So what. That was a long time ago.” Cole looked genuinely perplexed.

I swallowed thickly. “Yeah. It was.”

Sometimes it felt like another life.

My normally oblivious band mate was watching me way too closely. I didn’t like it.

“All right then. So don’t give me shit about something that shouldn’t matter,” Cole countered and I couldn’t say anything.

It shouldn’t matter.

Sophie was my girlfriend.

Gracie doesn’t matter.

“I gotta go call Viv. She gets pissy if I don’t help her out in the evenings, if you know what I mean,” Cole leered, getting out of the booth. “Order me something with a lot of bacon.” He headed back to the bathroom.

“Let’s hope no one walks in on him rubbing one out this time,” Jordan said, shaking his head.

“Yeah,” I agreed off handedly, not caring about Cole having phone sex with Vivian in a public restroom.

I pushed my way out of the booth. “I’ve gotta go,” I told them, dropping some cash on the table and getting the hell out of there, not caring that Jordan and Garrett were staring at me like I had lost my damn mind. Which right now wasn’t a far off possibility.

I should have gone back to the bus to talk to Sophie. To make her feel better. Cole’s sordid trip down memory lane had to make her feel like shit.

But I didn’t go after her.

It shouldn’t matter.

Gracie shouldn’t matter.

But she did.

And that was a really big problem.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and stared at the screen hardly able to believe it.

I hadn’t heard from her in over a year.

It felt like some kind of sign.

I could really use some Chunky Monkey right about now.

Chunky Monkey.

I was going to be sick.

I walked around the side of the diner and leaned against the wall. My back collided with brick and I slid down to the ground.

Chunky Monkey.

Our code word that she needed me.

I griped the phone in my hand until hand ached.

My instinct was to call her. To run, head first, into whatever she was offering.

I’ve moved on.

She’s not a part of my life anymore.

My head rolled back and I stared up at the clear, night sky.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I stay here,” she asked, walking into my bedroom with an overnight bag in her hand.

My stomach clenched as I watched her unpack her things. Putting her toothbrush in my bathroom. Her pajamas in my dresser drawer. Her things looked as though they belonged all mixed up with mine. Like she belonged.

And she did.

I just wished she could see that.

But I was a patient guy. I would bide my time. And I knew that the day would come when she’d realize how much I loved her.

“Of course. You can stay as long as you want. Who knows how long Cole and Viv will be at it,” I laughed, hoping she’d never leave.

Gracie sank down on the couch beside me and picked up the extra X-Box controller. We were sitting so close together that I could smell her shampoo. Something fruity. It smelled good. Her leg was pressed up against mine and I waited for her to pull away like she always did.

But she didn’t.

“You’re going down, Abrams,” she teased, giving me her sexy half smile.

God, I loved this woman.

“Not if I take you down first,” I told her and she laughed.

It was my favorite sound in the world.

She had been my best friend.

Gracie knew things about me that I had never told anyone. That I would never tell anyone.

And losing that hurt just as much now as it had when she had pushed me away.

I missed her.

So goddamned much.

I missed my friend. The girl I had played video games with and teamed up with for karaoke. I missed how she always made sure there was a full pint of Chunky Monkey in my freezer when I got home from being on the road.

I missed just being able to pick up the phone to talk to her about stuff that didn’t really matter. Or watching Fresh Prince and singing along to that stupid rap during the opening credits.

And for just a second I could over look all the bad shit that came at the end.

Because when it came to Gracie Cook, I had always been a weak bastard.

So I texted her back.

Do I need to ride to your rescue?

My palms started to sweat again as I hit send and once the message went through I wished I could take it back.

What the hell was I doing?

Why had I responded?

Why the fuck was I opening that door again?

I had Sophie. I had a life that had nothing to do with Gracie.

But in that moment all I could think about was her and how much I wanted that connection that we used to have.

So I waited outside in the freezing cold, my ass growing numb as I sat on the hard ground, just to see if she’d text me back.

I waited an hour.

My phone remained silent.

She had left me hanging.

Again.

“Mmm,” I moaned, my eyes closed.

Mitch was between my thighs and I felt him press into me. I felt so full. I could feel him everywhere.

“I love you so much, Gracie,” he murmured, running his hand down the side of my leg. He pumped his hips and I rose up to meet his thrusts.

He hooked my leg around his waist, angling my body so he could bury himself deeper inside me.

“Harder,” I told him. I wanted him to be rough. I wanted him to take me in a way that left no doubts. I had to know he’d never let me go again.

“Look at me, baby. Please,” he begged. The waves of pleasure pulsed through me. I had never felt anything like it.

“Mitch,” I breathed, my fingers working overtime as my fantasy kicked into high gear.

I didn’t want to open my eyes. I knew that if I did¸ this would all be over so I ignored him. I wouldn’t listen.

I just wanted to keep loving him like this.

Mitch gripped my hips in his large hands as he slid in and out of me. I wanted this feeling that only he could give me.

How could I have possibly walked away from this?

I felt his lips on the side of my neck. I could smell him. I could taste him in my mouth.

And more importantly I could feel him inside of me. I wished he would stay there forever.

“I love you, Gracie. God, I love you so much.” He sounded as though he were crying. I wanted to look at him, but I didn’t dare.

It was on the tip of my tongue. I should say the words back. It’s what he wanted to hear.

Instead I focused on the pleasure. On the sex. On the way he caressed every inch of me.

“You hurt me, Gracie. I can’t forgive you for that.” The fantasy was getting all messed up. Real memories mixed with delusions.

“Oh god, Mitch!” I screamed just as I had an orgasm to end all orgasms.

“You broke my heart!” Mitch yelled just as I came apart.

“Wow! And you give me shit for touching myself in the living room? I have to bathe in here too, you know!”

My eyes popped open and quickly moved my hand from between my legs, which were dangled over the edge of the claw footed tub.

I sat up in the now cold water feeling overheated and very turned on.

Vivian was standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips, looking entirely too amused. “I—uh—must have dozed off.” I pulled the plug from the bath and stood up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself.

“Yeah, that must have been some dream you were having,” she snickered.

I glared at my friend and shoed her away with my hand. “Can you give me a little privacy here, please?” I demanded, embarrassed as hell that she found me…well…pleasuring myself.

“Sure thing. I’m thinking you need to finish the job,” she laughed as she closed the door behind her as I stepped out of the bath.

I leaned against the wall and tried to get my pounding heart to slow down. The dream I had been having was still extremely vivid.

Dreams about Mitch weren’t uncommon. But they were usually jumbled images mixed with my residual guilt and longing.

But this dream had been so real.

My lady bits were all a tingle and it was as though I could still feel him there.

Right…there.

“Oh my god,” I moaned, my head falling back and connecting with the wall.

I swore I could hear Vivian cackling as I gave myself another orgasm.

While thinking about Mitch Freaking Abrams.

“All done?” Vivian asked sweetly when I emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, hair dried, clothes on, cheeks no longer flushed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I remarked primly, turning on the coffee pot. “Where’s Maysie?” I asked, changing the subject.

Vivian came into the kitchen and pulled her coffee cup down from the cabinet. “She left early to go to Garrett’s and check on the place. No one’s been there in a while so she told him she’d stop by before we left today.” Vivian poured some coffee into her mug. “You’re still coming tonight, right? Because Riley wanted me to tell you she’d come and get you herself if you tried to back out.”

I laughed. “I know she will. She can be comforted that my need for survival far outweighs my fear of awkwardness.”

Vivian gave me a mischievous smile. “It would definitely be awkward if Sophie knew you were moaning her boyfriend’s name while you were—”

“Seriously, Viv, do you have to be so crass?” I complained, humiliated but unsurprised that she called me out. I had been waiting for it.

Vivian shrugged. “At least I don’t pretend not to be wet for someone when I’m secretly panting for his d—”

“Enough!” I yelled, cutting her off again.

Vivian gave me an innocent look. “Why are you so testy? Am I hitting a nerve?”

“It’s just not appropriate given that he’s been in a serious relationship for a year. How would you feel if it were Cole?” I asked and was rewarded with Vivian’s look of jealous rage.

“Bitches know better,” she hissed.

“Look, I had my chance with Mitch. I blew it. He’s happy now. That’s all I want for him.” I felt like I was beating a very dead horse.

Vivian’s eyes became uncharacteristically sad. “Why won’t you fight for him, G? For the both of you? Don’t you think it’s worth it?”

I tried to swallow around the large lump that had formed in my throat.

“Please stop pressing me about it. It’s been ages since—well you know. Why can’t you let it drop?” I poured myself a bowl of cereal though I didn’t have an appetite. I had spent a sleepless night thinking about Mitch and what I’d say to him if given an opportunity.

I still couldn’t believe that I had sent him a text.

And that he had responded.

What did it mean?

It didn’t matter. I had deleted the message and never replied. I could only imagine what he was thinking about that.

I had a feeling selfish bitch was in there somewhere.

“Things were so great when all of us would hang out. Jordan and Mays. Garrett and Riley. Me and Cole. And you and Mitch. It was perfect. Just how it should be,” Vivian reminisced.

I took a bite of mushy cornflakes and forced them down.

It was important to eat every meal. I couldn’t skip them. Because then it would be all too easy to skip the next one. And the one after that.

I took another bite and wished this conversation were over.

“Well, that’s not how things are now. There’s Mays and Jordan. Riley and Garrett. You and Cole. And Sophie and Mitch. Then there’s Gracie who as it turns out isn’t so fun to hang out with when she’s not wasted.” I gave a self-deprecating laugh.

Vivian scowled. “Is that what you think? That you’re not fun now that you’re not drinking? I really hope you’re not that stupid.”

I managed to finish all of the cereal and got up to wash out the bowl. I was already running late for work because of my early morning clit flick.

“No. I don’t really think that. I was just being silly. But seriously, Viv, don’t start anything this weekend. Or I swear to God I’ll leave. I’ll steal your keys and drive home,” I threatened.

Vivian gave me a shrewd look. “I won’t start anything. But you need to try to talk to him. This has gone on entirely too long.”

I let out a noisy breath and leaned against the counter. “I have more things going on in my life than whether Mitch Abrams is talking to me. Just drop it.”

Lies. All lies. I told them so well.

“I just need to lie here for a while and stretch. I think my muscles have started to atrophy from being cramped into one position by Vivian’s army of suitcases.” I kicked one of my roommate’s three bags. “We’re only here for the weekend, Viv. How many trampy halter tops does one girl need?”

Vivian stuck out her tongue and hefted the largest of the three up onto the bed. “You really are cranky when you’re stressed out,” she said, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you be trekking this stuff over to Cole’s room?” I asked her.

“The guys are still in sound check. We’re going to head over and meet up with them as soon as you get all settled and I have a shower. I’ll take everything over later. We’re all on the same floor anyway,” Vivian explained, pulling a tiny scrap of fabric from the depths of her suitcase.

“I’m guessing you want to use my shower then,” I surmised as she started to unload a pile of beauty products from her makeup bag.

“I’ll be quick. They’re expecting us over there in an hour,” Vivian promised, blowing me a kiss and disappearing into the bathroom.

There was a knock on the door and I got up from the bed and went to open it.

“Glad to see I don’t have to make an unexpected trip to Bakersville to kick your ass,” Riley announced, walking into my hotel room.

“Happy to see you too,” I chuckled, closing the door after Maysie followed her inside.

Riley rolled her eyes and gave me a stiff hug. She wasn’t the touchy feely type so I purposefully wrapped my arms around her and gave her a squeeze.

“Aw, you’ve missed me,” I simpered, kissing her cheek nosily.

“Ugh. Enough with the hugging and kissing and squealing,” Riley said, pushing me away good-naturedly.

I grinned. “It’s been months, Ri, you need to prepare yourself for tons of cuddles. Maybe I can do your hair for you and you can paint my nails. We can make it a real girls’ night!” I enthused sarcastically, knowing the response I’d get.

Riley made a face. “Has hell frozen over? No? Well then fuck off.”

Maysie grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. She slung her arm around my shoulders while doing the same to Riley. “The gang’s all here! It’s been too long!”

“Well except for Viv. Let me guess she’s giving herself a Brazilian in the bathroom,” Riley guessed.

“I heard that!” Vivian called from the other side of the bathroom door and we all laughed.

“You’re coming over to sound check with us, right?” Maysie asked.

My stomach knotted, but I pasted a smile on my face. “Sure.”

“We thought we’d all go get something to eat before the guys have to be back for the show,” Riley suggested and I simply nodded.

Eating and food was the last thing on my mind.

But taking a drink of something in the mini bar was right at the front of it.

I felt jittery and apprehensive.

Get a grip! I scolded myself. I’d seen Mitch many times since sleeping together. Why was I getting so worked up?

There was absolutely no reason for me to feel this way. I seriously doubted Mitch would bother speaking to me at all.

It’ll be just as it had been for the last year; pretending the other doesn’t exist. Pretending I didn’t feel like bashing my head against a wall every time I heard Sophie’s voice.

Sounds like a super duper time!

The idea of actually trying to speak to him had been dashed the moment I decided not to return his text.

Why did I have to go and send that stupid message in the first place?

I had just resigned myself to the level of discomfort that I continuously felt in his presence. Now it would be so. Much. Worse.

Vivian finally came out of the bathroom and struck a pose in front of the mirror. She ran her hands down her sides while twisting her body left and right as she looked at her reflection.

“Damn Viv, are we hittin’ the clubs before dinner? Do I need to dig out my hoochie gear?” Riley asked blandly.

“Some of us like to look good for our man,” Vivian snipped, fluffing hair.

“And some of us wait to show off our lady bits until after the sun has set,” Riley responded.

“Ladies, ladies. Come on. Let’s just get over to the bar. The guys should be about finished.

“Let’s go then,” I said with pep in my voice.

Riley lifted her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, someone’s excited to listen to sound check.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh snark, how I’ve missed you.”

I looped my arm with Riley’s and walked out into the hallway, Maysie and Vivian following us.

“How’s the job going?” I asked my friend as the four of us piled into the elevator and headed to the lobby.

“Long hours. Crap pay. It’s great actually,” Riley grinned and she meant it. She had graduated in the spring from grad school and was now working for one of the biggest newspapers in Boston. So yeah, I was a little bit jealous. I was happy for her most of all, but I could admit that I wished it were me working as a cutting edge reporter and not writing about people’s landscapes for a low budget magazine that sat at the back of the rack at the dentist’s office.

Riley and I had both interned at the Bakersville Times during our senior year and when I went off the rails I had pretty much tanked any possibility for a good job in journalism after graduation. So I shouldn’t be complaining about the Southern Gardens gig. It was better than nothing.

“How about you? How are the gardens in the south?” Riley asked.

“Full of flowers,” I replied blandly.

“I’d lose my mind writing about plants all the time,” Vivian added as the elevator doors opened and we piled out into the lobby.

“Eh, it’s not the worst thing in the world. Sure I’d rather be writing for a fashion magazine or be the next Dear Abby, but it’s something to hold me over until I finally land my dream job as a trapeze artist with the circus,” I remarked.

“It’s good to have goals,” Riley replied flippantly.

“I’ve been working on my portfolio, adding stuff to it. So maybe I can actually land myself a decent writing job,” I said with a whole lot of optimism that most days I didn’t feel.

“You know, I could always put in a word for you with Diane. Or if you wanted to, you could come up to Boston. I bet you I could get you a job, no problem. You’re talented. Way too talented to be schlepping it at that monthly rag,” Riley offered.

“Thanks, Ri. I really appreciate it. I do. But I want to get something on my own merit.”

Riley looked at me like I was nuts. “You do realize that in life it’s who you know as much as what you know, right? There’s no shame in me greasing the wheels.”

I gave her another loud, wet kiss on the cheek, which she promptly wiped off with a look of disgust. “If I find myself sucking old guys off in an alleyway for Raman Noodles money I promise to take you up on it. Until then, I’d like to keep doing things my way.”

We walked out of the hotel and waited while Maysie waved for a cab. “Dude, if you start sucking off old dudes in alleyways, you need more than an in for a newspaper job, sicko,” Riley shuddered.

I pulled on my wool gloves and hunched down in my puffy jacket. It was much colder than I thought it would be. Virginia was experiencing an unusually frigid winter with entirely too much snow. And judging by the sky it appeared we were in for another round of wintery weather. I just hoped it wouldn’t impact my escape on Sunday. I figured by then I’d be ready to make a run for it.

“I know it may seem like I’m not moving very fast, but for me, it’s fast enough,” I laughed. “Besides, lately I’ve been pretty busy trying to prove to my mom and dad that I’m capable of taking care of myself. That they no longer need to cut up my meat and read me a story at bedtime,” I sighed as I wedged myself between Maysie and Riley. Vivian sat up front with the driver and was playing with the radio. I could hear the driver telling her to leave it alone but she ignored him, finally leaving it on a pop station.

“Are they still trying to make you move home? They’re relentless,” Vivian piped up from the front seat.

“You betcha. It’s still a regular discussion. Well it’s more of an attempt at dictatorship than a legitimate conversation.”

“They must have gone to the same school of parenting as mine did,” Maysie commiserated.

“I know you guys all have your lives figured out. Riley is going to be the next Christine Amanpour. Vivian is organizing high-end events and Maysie is on her way to becoming the next great thing in band marketing. As for me, I’m cool just not having my mother pick out my clothes every morning,” I shrugged.

“The next Christine Amanpour, huh? I like the sound of that. Though if I can be Christine, you totally can be Barbara Walters,” Riley mused and grinned.

“Totally. Though pre-The View. Just so we’re clear,” I added.

“Absolutely. The View can suck a fat one!” Riley exclaimed.

“Hey, I like The View!” Vivian said from the front seat. Riley and I both rolled our eyes.

“Of course you do, Viv,” Riley patronized, leaning forward to pat her on the shoulder.

“We’re here!” Vivian announced from the front seat. Maysie leaned forward and paid the cab driver as the rest of us filed out.

“They’re playing here?” Riley asked, squinting in the late afternoon sunlight.

“It’s not so bad,” I remarked, grimacing.

“Uh, yeah it is,” Vivian exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth. “It’s a dive! Why are they playing in a place like this?”

Okay, they may be overreacting. A little. Because sure Dicky’s Roadside Bar looked like it belonged on Skid Row but it was well known in the indie rock scene for showcasing some of the best bands out there. It was smaller than their gigs had been in the past year, but it was still a big deal to play there.

“This is Dicky’s, guys. It looks scary, but its history in the rock scene is amazing,” Maysie reminded them.

“There’s the bus around the back,” Riley said, pointing to the tour bus parked underneath some trees.

We headed around the side of the bar and found Cole and Garrett walking into the building.

“Baby!” Vivian squealed, running towards them. Cole’s mouth stretched into a beaming smile and picked her up just as she reached him. Vivian’s legs wrapped around his waist and Cole’s hands buried into her thick hair.

“I missed you,” he murmured just before kissing her.

“Here we go,” Riley muttered chuckling. I had to look away from the overt display of affection. I tried to pretend the lump in my throat didn’t exist.

“Hey, you,” Garrett said, pulling on Riley’s belt loops. His eyes were bright as he too wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her like she was the air he breathed.

Maysie threaded her arm through mine and tugged me towards the back door. “Come on. Let’s leave ’em to it,” she suggested, taking pity on me.

“It’s a lot bigger than it looks outside,” I commented once we were inside. I looked around the dimly lit room and tried not to cringe. It was dingy and on the seedy side. It looked like something you’d find on a road somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

I remembered the shows I went to last year when Generation Rejects played to sold out venues with almost a thousand people in the audience.

I could see Jordan up on the small stage unrolling cords and connecting them to the amps. I tried not to search for him. I attempted to keep my eyes focused on Jordan but it didn’t work. It never worked.

Almost as if by compulsion my eyes zeroed in on Mitch Abrams. He stood off to the side, pulling a string from his well-worn bass. He’d had the instrument since he was a kid and first realized he loved to play. He had told me that his dad, who had once been a musician himself, had picked it out specifically for his son.

My stomach knotted up and I felt a little sick. My palms began to sweat and there was a distinct buzzing in my ears.

“I love you, Gracie. God, I love you so much. Don’t you get that?”

I had been so stupid. How could I have missed the signs he had so obviously been giving me?

How did I ever think it would only ever be just sex?

“I—”

My words cut off as though severed with a knife. I had nothing to say. No way to respond. I couldn’t give him the words back. No matter how much he wanted them. I loved Mitch. He was one of my best friends. But the type of love he was laying at my feet wasn’t the kind that came from friendship.

He wanted so much more than I would ever be able to give him…

He was so incredibly handsome in his boy next-door kind of way. I loved his dark hair and dark eyes and the slight stubble on his chin because he had obviously been too lazy to shave that morning.

His shoulders were broad, his hands large with fingers covered in callouses. I remembered how it felt when he touched me. How I had shivered as he palmed my—

Yeah, not going there.

“There’s my girl,” Jordan called out once he saw us. Mitch looked up, a lock of hair falling across his forehead. I tried not to stare as he reached up and brushed it away. Christ, I needed to get a grip. I wasn’t some lovesick schoolgirl. And my life didn’t hinge on whether Mitch Abrams acknowledged me or not.

I took a deep breath and pulled myself upright. No shrinking violet here, damn it.

Maysie and I walked towards Jordan. Towards Mitch. I kept my chin up and my back straight. A spine of steel.

Mitch watched me the entire time. It was obvious. And I totally pretended that I wasn’t watching him back. But it was hard when I could feel his gaze like I had once felt his hands. It pressed against my skin. Hard. Rough. But so, so gentle at the same time. He slowly ripped open a package of Twizzlers, his favorite, and put one in his mouth. Was he doing that on purpose? Drawing attention to his mouth. His lips. His tongue.

Ugh!

I was so busy trying to not stare at him that I almost stumbled. His eyes met mine and the heat of memories we could never take back branded the both of us. God I wanted him.

Even worse…I missed him.

Then I saw her. And he looked away.

Sophie.

She seemed to materialize out of nowhere and was at his side in an instant. They looked cute together. He was all dark and gorgeous and she was all sweet and perky. It made me want to gag.

See, he’s happy. He’s so much better off. No need to beat myself up anymore.

“I was getting ready to call out the cavalry,” Jordan teased, leaning down to kiss Maysie. She leaned up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her up so that her feet were off the ground.

She giggled when he finally put her back down on her feet. He ran his fingers down the side of her cheek and gazed at her lovingly. Like she was everything. Which for Jordan Levitt, she was.

“You look beautiful, Mays. Like you finally caught up on sleep. Have the girls been treating you right?” he asked, smiling at me.

I pulled my eyes away from Mitch and his girlfriend and forced a laugh. “We’ve been making sure she eats all of her veggies and takes her vitamins. No worries, Jordan.”

Jordan chuckled and then leaned down to ruffle my hair in brotherly sort of way. “It’s good to see you, G. You’ve been away too long. We’ve missed having you around.”

My eyes flickered to Mitch again and found him still watching me. “Oh yeah?” I asked a little breathlessly. “It seems you guys have been fine without me.” Wow, I was all but spitting snark in his direction.

What was I doing?

Jordan glanced from me to Mitch, his brow furrowing. “Oh, yeah, well we’ve been getting along. But you know it’s always great to have the gang all together again.”

Sophie said something to Mitch and I watched as he leaned down to hear her. It was annoying the way she twirled her hair around her finger. Who the hell twirls their hair after the age of twelve?

And I hated her shirt. It looked like something my mother would pick out. It was all eyelet lace and pearled buttons. What in the world does Mitch see in her?

I realized I was staring. Mitch knew I was staring.

So of course he purposefully gave his girlfriend his attention, his body angled towards me but his head bent low so that his face was close to Sophie’s. He pushed the hair back off her forehead. His eyes were on her face and he gave her soft smile that I recognized only too well.

A smile that I had thought, at one time, was only for me.

Get over it, Gracie! It’s been a year! What did you think would happen? That he’d pine over you forever? Get a grip!

I started to turn away when Mitch looked back towards me, his eyes locking on mine.

I forgot how to breathe.

My heart thudded almost painfully in my chest.

My mouth went dry and my hands began to tremble. A need that I had almost forgotten about thrummed through my body. My belly tightened and my nipples hardened. The air hummed and sizzled. I was altered completely. Just by a look.

How had I never felt this electricity between us before? The answer was obvious.

I had been totally blind. I hadn’t wanted to see it. Because if I had acknowledged it, everything would have changed. And at that time I couldn’t handle that. The truth was I had been absolutely terrified.

Maysie squeezed my arm but I barely felt it. Jordan was still talking but I didn’t hear him.

All I could see was Mitch.

All Mitch could see was me.

We were locked in a stand off, neither of us moving.

All too soon he broke our intense staring contest. He bent down and kissed his girlfriend almost angrily. It was a harsh press of lips that seemed to take Sophie by surprise. She wrapped her arms around Mitch and held him tenderly even as he ground his mouth against hers.

I looked away. I could barely breathe around the lump sitting painfully in the middle of my chest. A pain that I knew to be jealousy.

And regret.

And the horrible realization that I had brought all of this on myself. Because I had been living in a complete delusion where I had convinced myself that I didn’t love Mitch Abrams.

A delusion that shattered the moment he had finally walked away from me. The moment that he started to love someone else.