Текст книги "Eyes of devious burgundy"
Автор книги: Lacey Lehotzky
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Текущая страница: 23 (всего у книги 43 страниц)
27
After quickly finishing our meal, I left Assyria with Kiira in my suite. Kiira assured me she was safe in her hands, and that she’d get the glass pane repaired that day to further soothe my anxiety. My cousin knew me far too well for my liking, especially when I was trying to hide just how much this new situation was throwing me off my straight and narrow path. By the time Rapp and I set out, the sun was too high in the sky, but I was more than glad to get the fuck away from there. I needed to settle my plans for my mate before preparing to ride off to war with her.
There were a thousand possibilities of how this could go wrong, and with the way the camp liked to chatter, word would spread like wildfire of a new female living in close proximity to me. But I couldn’t leave her with Xannirin and Kiira at Gyor, where the nobles were even worse about gossiping. I was no stranger to difficult choices with no clear answer, yet this one was the most difficult I’d ever faced.
The fact of the matter was that I didn’t trust anyone to guard her but myself. This protective desire rising within me wasn’t foreign; it was, after all, why I’d joined the army in the first place. Over time it had morphed into defending the Demons from the Angel’s insanity. Yet the emotions attached to the instinct to safeguard Assyria were entirely new and honestly frightening.
We’d see how long my willingness to allow her a modicum of freedom lasted. This Reaper-damned bond forced me to bend to her anger and grief, and every time she sent a wave of utter anguish down it, I had to grit my teeth and block it out. Her mind was an open book, and she gave far too much away without realizing it.
Now, I was fighting a battle on two fronts.
“The moment we return, we need to call the Parancsok and Százados Jaku to the command center to begin damage control,” I ground out, grappling with my urge to turn around and comfort her.
“Aye, the sooner we can contain the rumors, the better,” Rapp agreed.
Grem and Zeec raced ahead of us as we rushed through the city gates and turned onto the thick, dirt road that led to the war camp. A knife dug into my chest, and I slapped a hand over my heart, wincing from the pain. This fucking bond. Not even half a day in, and it was already punishing me for leaving her behind at the palace, even for a little while.
“You okay?” Rapp asked, slowing his horse.
“Fine,” I gritted out through clenched teeth, trying to breathe through it. Assyria and I at least had some common ground—this bond was a joke. Everyone had such romanticized views on the gift, while I had nothing but contempt for it. Especially given the risks it posed to me, to the war, and to all the Demons.
Sometimes the weight of responsibility made me feel like I was being buried alive and I’d never get enough air again. But I couldn’t show it—not even to Rapp and Xannirin. They were all counting on me. I dug my heels into my horse’s side and urged him faster. The sooner my mind was on something else, the better.
As we approached, a line five deep formed along the road leading north. With a start, I realized it was the Parancsok who had volunteered two of his squads to join Hadvezér Trol at the front. He waited on horseback at the head of them, searching.
For us.
Fuck.
In all the commotion, I’d forgotten about his orders to leave at first light. The time was well beyond it. At least the one time my orders weren’t followed to the letter, I was grateful for it. Steering my stallion in his direction, I kicked him into a gallop, flying along the ranks of mounted males until I reached the Parancsok at the front.
“Halálhívó,” he greeted me with a salute, though his voice wavered slightly. Probably because he thought I was going to tear into him. The two Százados on either side of him offered me the same. “Do you have any orders to relay to Hadvezér Trol?”
“If he still holds the line between the Angels and Ustlyak when you arrive, tell him to dig in and hold. Only send those he can spare around to pick off the Angels and ensure they don’t try to fly around him to circumvent the blockade. I will send a raven once our advance begins,” I said in a rush, ticking items off my mental list.
The Százados nodded their confirmation.
“Ride fast and long. Time is of the essence,” I reminded them.
“Yes, sir,” they replied, then turned their mounts to the north. Rapp and I moved out of their way, remaining with the Parancsok while the squads rode out. On horseback and without a load of supplies, their travel would be swift, albeit precarious, especially as they traversed the stretch of the Paks Desert without a stream in sight.
Rapp turned to his officer. “Gather the others and have them meet us in the command center as soon as possible. Fetch Jaku too.”
“Is this about last night’s incident?” he clarified, shifting his weight.
“Yes,” I snapped. “Now get to it before we lose the trust of our new recruits.”
“Aye,” he said, racing off. At least he obeyed, and quickly.
Unlike my fucking mate. ‘Make me’ she had said. She had no idea what that smart mouth did to me. What it made me want to do to her.
Rapp and I entered the camp at a slower pace, listening to every conversation as we rode down the alleys. Silence fell whenever we were noticed, which told me that we were indeed the day’s topic of discussion.
By the time we reached the command center, I was fuming. My chest felt like it was gripped in a vise from the bond, so distracting that it only served to enrage me further. I clawed at it over the black metal armor as if that would relieve the acuteness. Ripping my helmet off, I set it to the side, hoping that would cool me off too.
It didn’t.
Rapp kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as we waited for the Parancsok to trickle in. “Don’t say anything,” I growled, low enough that only he could hear. A tiny dip of his chin told me he heard.
The bond yanked, so hard I nearly fell backward, as if it were personally going to drag me back to Gyor Palace.
“Would you stop that? I can’t focus,” I snapped at Assyria.
“It’s not me, it’s you, asshole,” she shot back. “I can’t focus on anything Kiira is saying.”
This fucking bond.
“Yeah, I couldn’t agree more,” Assyria groused.
Guess I wasn’t as good at keeping my thoughts to myself as I believed.
Using all my willpower to shove her, my anger, and the pain from my mind, I focused on everyone gathered in the command center. “Last night, we burned one of the Vezető from Százados Jaku’s squad.” I dipped my head in his direction. “The male admitted to killing a Kormánzó, which we all know is punishable by death from the laws of the Kral. The female he was caught with admitted that she lied in hopes of sparing him. After taking her to Gyor Palace for questioning this morning, we decided that she should be my personal fallen to produce powerful offspring for the war effort.”
Rapp whipped his head to the side. We hadn’t discussed why Assyria would come with us, but it was at least a somewhat reasonable explanation as to why I was allowed a female when I had explicitly forbidden it for the others.
“We understand, Halálhívó,” Parancsok Olet said slowly, his attention turning pointedly to his Százados.
Jaku had the good sense to nod. “I will ensure my squad knows of Kormánzó Vagach’s demise at the hands of Izgath.” He paused, as if considering his next words. “If I may, two of my other Vezető were close to him. I doubt that they will believe such actions, especially as they held the female while we dealt with Izgath. One has been selected for enhanced training, while the other will remain under my command. Splitting them up is the best option, but I wanted you to be informed nonetheless.”
“Ensure that they both understand the consequences of dissent or spreading rumors about the situation,” I growled. A vein throbbed in my temple.
Too many loose fucking threads in this plan.
The bond seemed to agree, stabbing at me again, while the circle between my shoulder blades seared me. At the very least, only four knew of our mating bond, and after whispers of Assyria swept through the camp and beyond, attention on the situation would die out quickly. The chatter would stick if those speaking of it knew the whole truth.
I merely had to hope it blew over like dust off the dunes in the Paks Desert.
“Yes, Halálhívó,” he affirmed. With a wave of my hand, I dismissed him. He saluted his ranking officers, then slipped through the opening into the square where all the chaos had unfolded.
“How is the progress of sorting everyone into their new units?” I asked, scanning the room for reactions. At least this was working in my favor.
One of the senior Parancsok spoke up. “Progress is underway. We have right-sized our standard units with proper coverage and can write out the new hierarchy. Those selected for enhanced training have gathered in the eastern part of the camp, closer to Uzhhorod, and await further instruction.”
Rapp pulled out a parchment and began drawing the new structure based on the input of all the gathered Parancsok. I scanned it once he finished, pleased with the choices. While no one really knew me, I made it a point to know others. Their strengths and weaknesses affected how the entire army functioned as a whole.
“Olet, I trust you will be ready to depart for Fured with those selected today?” I questioned, leveling my attention on him. His maroon armor shone like he’d polished it that very morning. Despite the chaos of the evening before, he appeared put together. More so than Rapp or I did, at least.
“Aye, whenever we are given leave to depart. We’ll ride east, down toward the coast, and then alongside the cliffs to Fured to avoid any Angel groups that might have broken off, though given the distance I doubt they turned their attention that way. It will take longer, but I believe it will be worth it,” he replied.
I nodded. It was a good plan, and these males were our most valuable assets now. The whole point of sending them to Fured for additional training was so they could be protected from the front. “Very good. Once you have spoken with the rest of your Százados about what occurred last night, you are free to go.”
He dropped to one knee, resting his forehead on his forearm, “Glory to the Demons. May your gift never fade, Halálhívó.”
When he rose, I dismissed them. Not a moment too soon, because the bond flared again, and I had to bite down on my lip to distract myself. I was not weak, and I would not surrender to whatever this magic wanted me to do.
Like everything else, I would break it, master it, and force it to my will.
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28
After Rokath and Rapp departed, Kiira remained with me, promising to show me around the most private wing in Gyor Palace while Xannirin went off to rule for the day. Not like I’d stay here for long, but I could enjoy the luxuries before I departed with Rokath and the rest of the army.
If I could relax knowing what lay ahead for me. While I’d grown accustomed to army life, facing the males I had known as Vagach, and being the lone female among hundreds of thousands of males twisted my stomach into knots. Rokath would protect me, supposedly, but he would try to cage me too.
I just wanted to be free.
“And here,” Kiira said, interrupting my worried thoughts, “is Xannirin’s private garden.”
Opening the doors, we stepped out onto a balcony with a stunning view of the Skala Mountains. To me, that wasn’t the best part. No, it was the sprawling plants, tangling and blooming as far as I could see. The lush scent of their flowers. The slight buzz of insects flitting about them.
It felt like home.
And right at the front were lush Bordova roses. Unable to contain myself, I hurried forward to study them. A breathy giggle slipped out of Kiira as she joined me. “Beautiful aren’t they?”
“Yes,” I breathed, brushing my hand over the waxy leaves, careful not to touch the sharp thorns. The color was exquisite, a deep purple with the barest hint of red, and it smelled divine. Inhaling deeply, I savored the familiar floral aroma.
Olrus’s face flashed through my mind. Stepping away from the plant, I let one tear fall and then I swiped it away.
“What’s wrong?” Kiira asked gently.
I shook my head. “Nothing important.”
“If you are crying, then it is important.” She paused, studying the roses. “I know you don’t like the priestesses, and when you’re ready I’d like to hear more about your experience. We are here to listen to your pain and help you rid yourself of it so you can move along your path.”
“Why do you care?” I snapped, unable to help myself. I still hadn’t slept, though my mood had changed slightly after the decadent meal.
“About you?” she asked, hiking her skirts and stepping closer so she could run her fingers along the soft petals.
I threw my hands in the air. “About me, about any of it. You are cousin to the Kral and to Rokath. You are the High Priestess, responsible for all religious life in the Demon Realm. Yet you speak like you care about each of us individually.”
“Everyone deserves to feel seen,” she murmured, leaning down and sniffing the lush bloom. “You mentioned Vagach’s abuse. I care for you because I too suffered at the hands of a male. My father, actually. He would have killed me eventually. It is because of Rokath that I am still alive.”
Sympathy softened my shoulders, and when she straightened, she looked me square in the eye. “What is it that you want, Assyria? Truly?”
“Why? Are you going to help me get it?” I quipped.
She raised a brow and crossed her arms. Then she cocked her head as she studied me again. “It depends on your answer.”
I huffed, planting my fists on my hips, and looked at the clear blue sky. I had wanted a mate that wouldn’t oppress me like Vagach did. I still wanted to have at least a petal of control over my life. That, at its core, never changed.
“I have far more clarity on what I don’t want,” I replied. My long hair whispered over my shoulders as I straightened. “I don’t want to be a broodmare. I don’t want to be forced into a relationship with another abusive bastard. I don’t want to suffer anymore.” The last sentence slipped out with a ring of quiet truth.
Kiira relaxed and breathed a long sigh. “And if I could speak with Rokath and Xannirin about one thing you can have, what would you want that to be?”
“Would you really do that?” I asked her, cocking my head to the side.
“If you give me your truth, I will.”
I picked at one of my nails, considering her offer. Then, I gestured to the terrace. “In Stryi, I had a garden like this. It was my only solace, being married to Vagach. Though toward the end, I couldn’t bring myself to care for the roses. Olrus, our groundskeeper, did the best he could to keep them alive. He was my only friend, and he helped me after I killed Vagach. I simply wonder if he’s okay. No one else can die because of me.”
A sob lodged in my throat as I spoke the last sentence, and I fell to my knees from the weight of my grief. Kiira joined me on the ground, wrapping me in a tight embrace. She stroked my hair, making soothing noises in the back of her throat. “I’ll send a message along with my acolytes going to Stryi. I’ll have Xannirin sign off on it too, ensuring he is well taken care of. Olrus won’t have to worry any longer if you are safe either, and he can pass a message back.”
Lifting my head, I studied Kiira through blurred lashes. “Would you really?”
“Of course,” she soothed, using her thumbs to swipe tears from my eyes. “I am sorry about the whole situation, Assyria. It is not an easy one. The Weaver has a plan, and the Giver blessed you with this unique magic. I find comfort in knowing there is a reason for all this pain.”
“Well, I don’t,” I admitted, my voice no more than a whisper.
A soft, sad smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. “Perhaps the Fates will show me why now that I have seen and gotten to know you.”
Pushing to my feet, I asked, “Priestess Anara always spoke of your gift with such awe. But I thought only Angels had the gift of prophecy?”
“They do,” she said, brushing her hands over her dress. “The Fates offer me direct access to their plans, albeit infrequently, unlike the Angel Seers. My magic is different.”
“Like mine,” I said.
“Like yours. Like Rokath’s, like Xannirin’s, like Rapp’s. Like all others with burgundy eyes.” Holding out her slender arm, she said, “Let’s tour the rest of the garden. There are some lovely places to prop your feet with a book or some tea.”
No one had ever offered me comfort like Kiira had. Or cared to see me like she did. Despite our earlier animosity, I found myself looping my arm through hers. We strolled along the winding, haphazard paths, some overflowing with thorny plants, others with bushes trimmed into neat shapes. As promised, several nooks awaited, with outdoor loungers, soft cushions, and spots of shade to escape the harsh sun. There, gardening tools abounded, and I approached a wall lined with them, running my hands over the finely crafted metal.
“Do you think the Kral would mind if I cared for some of his plants?” I asked Kiira.
“No, and you can refer to him as Xannirin. There’s no need to speak to any of us so formally. You’re family now,” she replied, tucking her long, loose hair behind her ears.
“But no one can know that,” I pointed out.
“Er, well, yes. For now.” A wide grin split her face. “But when the war is over, we can have a grand celebration to welcome you into House Vrak.”
I smothered the grimace at her idea. The only reason I was complying now was because Rokath needed to save us all from the Angels. After that, I wasn’t putting up with him any longer. Our deal would be done, and I’d be long gone.
Reaching for a pair of gloves and other tools, I filled a bag with everything I thought I might need, then hefted it onto my shoulder. Kiira slid by me and grabbed a pair of her own. “I will join you. It’s so nice to have another female around, even if you don’t want to be here. I know my cousins can be… difficult. Probably better than anyone.” She nudged my side as she stepped away. “That’s why we must work together to keep them on the right path.”
I shifted from foot to foot, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Kiira saved me. “Do you have an idea of where you’d like to start?”
“The roses,” I said shyly. “They are my favorite.”
“Lead the way.” She gestured for me to continue, and I wound us back toward the front, where the beautiful Bordovas waited, along with a few other varieties. From the bag, I pulled two cushions and placed them on the ground, saving our knees from the hard stone. Then, we set to work.
Silence reigned while we clipped and pruned, giving the plants room to breathe and flourish. The Bordovas fully cared for, we moved along to another variety, common to the Demon Realm, and repeated the process.
“Tell me why you don’t like the priestesses,” Kirra prodded when we moved onto the third bush. “Truly, I want to know. Like Rokath, I try to lead the faithful along a holy path, though I am not always successful. Unlike Rokath, I don’t see the majority of my troops on a regular basis.”
I sighed and clipped one long stemmed rose, then brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply. Handing it to Kiira, I said, “Priestess Anara used to hold me down while Vagach coupled with me. They both thought that her presence would fill my womb with a babe. For eight years,” I gritted my teeth against the swell of heat pricking my eyes, “I never fell pregnant. Though I didn’t want to. I didn’t want any of it. But I was trapped.”
Swallowing, I focused my attention on the next snip, trying to avoid the thorns through my blurred vision. “Before that, though, she would cane my knuckles for questioning the Fates, and thereby, her authority.” A watery laugh slipped out of me. “I was never awarded high marks because of my insolence. My sister–”
I had to pause and suck in a breath as serrated as the knife slashing across my heart at the thought of her. “My sister used to beg me to hold my tongue. But as you witnessed, that is not something I ever managed to do.”
A warm hand rested on my back, and I felt Kiira’s eyes on me. Still, I did not look at her. “Vagach didn’t let me see them after we were married. Until they were dying. My father went first. Then my mother. Then my sister. I thought she was going to pull through, but she took a turn for the worse and passed within the day.”
A tear fell onto the soil for each of them.
“Assyria,” Kiira’s voice was soft and filled with sorrow. “Look at me.”
Blinking rapidly, I did, swiping the back of my wrists over my eyes. Kiira’s burgundy ones mirrored my own, shining and reflecting my anguish back to me. “I knew Priestess Anara was strict with her flock, but her participating in Vagach’s raping you is unacceptable. For that is what happened, Assyria, and you do not need to minimize your experience. I shall send for her immediately and replace her with someone who understands that as much as females are to carry offspring for the future of our race, that it should happen willingly between both parties. I am so, deeply sorry that all of that happened to you, and I understand now your loathing for the priestesses, the Fates, and our house. My words cannot fix anything, but perhaps my actions can.”
“Thank you,” I managed to choke out.
Kiira swept away the wet tracks on her face and cleared her throat. “And what of the Vezető?”
A sob wrenched its way from my chest. “He discovered my true identity weeks before. He wanted to protect me. He died protecting me. Before Jaku walked in on us,” I paused, heat flashing to my cheeks, “on the verge of coupling, he asked me to marry him. Promised that he’d keep me safe by sending me to live with his family. That we’d be together once the war was over.”
Kiira took my hands, giving them a squeeze.
“He was kind. Thoughtful. Showed me that pleasure was possible with intimacy. I will miss him.” The last words whispered out of me, and the slash in my heart that belonged to Izgath throbbed.
A fresh wave of hot, salty liquid spilled down my cheeks, and I closed my eyes, trying to fight off more.
Kiira wiped them away with a familiar tenderness. I opened my eyes, studying the sincerity etched on her face. “How do you do it?”
A sad smile bloomed, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “I often struggle with my position as High Priestess. I am a bastard daughter of House Vrak, and although my father never sired more children, I haven’t always felt like I belonged in it. When Xannirin took the throne and Rokath the army, I was a natural choice for the third pillar of our society. To further their plans, though, I’ve had to sacrifice more than I would like. I see the necessity of it, but when I hear stories like yours, my heart aches for the ways in which we must achieve the ends.”
“I didn’t realize you were a bastard,” I murmured, sitting back on my heels and pulling off the gardening gloves. “Is that why–”
Kiira shook her head, cutting off my question. “No, the previous Kral and his brothers were extremely cruel by nature. Sadistically so, in fact. Rokath, Xannirin, and I all bear scars from them, in some way. Though their stories are not mine to tell. Your story is safe with me too, you know.”
“I feel it,” I admitted freely.
She squeezed my hands again. “Rokath cares deeply about the people he loves, though he is quite adept at hiding it. He chooses not to show his emotions like we do. I will do my best to make up for the ways in which my cousins are lacking. You don’t deserve to suffer any more than you already have.”
“Thank you,” I croaked, then cleared my throat and dried my tears.
Kiira offered me a grin that was both sincere and filled with mischief. “I want to tell you something that I managed to do that I’m quite proud of. Something I convinced my cousins to allow.”
“Oh? What was that?” I asked, unable to help myself.
“The children of the fallen females are not allowed to be treated as bastards. They receive full privileges of their sire’s house.” She bloomed as bright as the roses speaking of her accomplishment.
“I like that,” I said, offering her a soft smile in return.
“So you see, Assyria, we can enact small changes from the inside. Perhaps that is why the Fates brought you to us, so that you can point out these injustices that happen outside my knowledge. Because of you, I will send out my priestesses with warnings to stop this practice.” Kiira pulled off her gloves and set them aside.
Something that felt a lot like contentment blossomed in my chest. Maybe Kiira was right, and by being mated to Rokath, I was able to save others from the pain I had endured.
But could that be enough for me?
“Come, let’s get something to drink before the midday heat wipes us out,” she said, rising to her feet.
Knees protesting, I did as well, tucking our gloves and tools into the bag and hefting it over my shoulder as we returned to the palace’s cool interior. I left it at the door while Kiira called down the hall for drinks and a light midday meal.
“Do you not want to pray?” I asked her.
She cocked her head to the side, studying me. “Do you want to?”
“Not really,” I admitted. And then, a laugh burst from us both.
“We can rest on the loungers, and you can tell me more about your family,” she giggled, steering me to a different part of Xannirin’s chambers.
We spent the afternoon there, talking endlessly, Kiira filling me in on the inner workings of the nobility who resided in Uzhhorod, her life as High Priestess, and a few of her fond memories from childhood, while I shared the same, speaking of my pastoral life, my sister, and what I had learned in the army. As the hour grew later, we moved to Rokath’s chambers, but he did not return.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, our bond was like a violent itch, so insistent that it drowned out any other thoughts that I might want to have. Kiira, sensing my fatigue and inattention, excused herself to return to Varbad Temple after our third meal of the day.
Once she departed, I scoured every room in Rokath’s apartments for some alcohol, hoping to numb the pain and put myself to sleep. Finding a half-empty bottle stashed in a cupboard in the bathing chamber, I unstoppered it and whiffed.
Spice assaulted my nostrils, reminding me far too much of my mate.
But this was my only option. So, holding my breath, I tipped a mouthful of the liquid into my mouth and forced it down. With a hiss and a cough, I pulled the bottle from my lips. My tongue burned, all the way up to my nostrils, pulling water to my eyes.
The effects were almost immediate, so I took one more drag, then tucked it away again. Two should be more than enough. Half-stumbling, I returned to the bed, stripping out of my dress and climbing into it. It was massive, large enough that should Rokath return, we’d never have to touch each other. Selfishly, I settled myself in the center of it, closing my eyes and taking a few slow, deep breaths to settle my mind.
Thankfully, between the alcohol and the events of the last day, sleep sank over me and pulled me off to a land where everything was better and I was free.
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