Текст книги "Writing on the Wall"

Автор книги: Tracey Ward

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

Chapter Fifteen

A week goes by and I have no problems with Caroline. That actually bothers me. She’s sitting back, waiting for something, but for what I’m not sure. If she’s waiting for me to drop my guard, she’s testing the wrong girl. I’ve lived the majority of my life on the outside where everyone and everything is trying to kill me all day every day. My guard doesn’t know how to drop.

Lexy starts avoiding me so I work with some of the other women in the sewing room. They’re alright, but Lexy bothers me. I guess whatever she wanted wasn’t so important or she’d be pushing the issue. I’m left feeling kind of disappointed and very annoyed. I’m locked in here now because of her and she doesn’t even want to play ball anymore.

“Joss.”

I hear my name whispered as I’m leaving the cafeteria to start my work shift. When I glance around, I find Amber in a dark doorway to the kitchen waving me to her.

“Hey, what’s up?” I say, walking over.

“Shh.” she whispers, glancing around. “Come on, hurry. Before someone sees.”

I follow obediently into the kitchen to find the whole crew there tucked in the back corner around a small table. The previous work crew is still buzzing around like their shift isn’t ending.

“Joss.” Steven beams, though I do note he does it quietly. There’s a hushed air in the kitchen that sets me on edge. Even the girl washing dishes is doing it softly.

“Hi.” I reply, my tone guarded.

“We’ve missed you in here.”

“Really?”

He smiles. “Yes, of course. And we have a surprise for you.”

I stop a few steps from them. “I don’t really do well with surprises.”

Everyone chuckles quietly.

“Understood.” Steven replies.

Amber approaches me slowly with a plate clearly presented before her. “He made a pie.”

And there it is. Pumpkin, shiny, creamy, beautiful. I almost bury my face in the plate in her hands like a rabid dog seeing its first meal in days but I’m able to hold it together. I drool a little, that’s all. That’s respectable, right?

“Seriously? A real pie?”

“With contraband sugar and everything.”

“Don’t tell anyone though.” Steven reminds me as I take the plate reverently from Amber’s outstretched hands. “It’s a forbidden pie.”

“Even better.” I dip the fork into the smooth, orange wonder and bring it slowly to my mouth. It dissolves on my tongue almost immediately and my legs go weak. “Oh God.”

“Right?” Crystal says with a smile. “You should sit down.”

I smile in return, taking an offered seat. “I think I have to. Steven, this is amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“What’s the occasion?” I ask, devouring another bite. The Colonies have never been so tempting.

Steven exchanges a look with Amber and Crystal. I instantly go back on alert. But I don’t stop eating the pie. Priorities.

“We have an important question to ask you.” he says.

I chuckle. “Everything here is so important. What’s up? What do you need from me?”

“Why won’t the hornet talk to Lexy?”

I freeze, my fork nearly in my mouth. I carefully glance around the room checking to see who is listening.

“It’s alright.” Steven says confidently. “They’re fine.”

I put my fork down. “Fine in what way exactly?”

“In the sense that you don’t have to censor yourself here.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t have to play coy with us.” He pats my hand reassuringly. It makes me squirm. “We all know everything about it.”

I pull my hand away. “Then you know more than I do. What exactly are we talking about here?”

Steven looks unsure for a moment. “Lexy approached you, correct?”

“She attacked me in my sleep one night, yeah.”

“We heard about that.” Amber says. “That was a bad choice.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“But she has explained to you why she did it, yes?’ Steven presses.

I shake my head. “No. I mean, I know she wants to talk to Vin but she won’t say what it’s about. Doesn’t really make me want to take her to him, you know?”

Steven sighs as he removes his hat to rub his bald head. He mutters, “She’s excessive with the cloak and dagger routine.”

“She doesn’t know her like we do.” Crystal insists.

“Then they should have had us do this in the first place.”

“You know why they couldn’t. Why we shouldn’t be doing this now.”

“I thought everyone in here was cool.” I interrupt, getting annoyed.

“They are.” Steven replies defensively.

“Then what’s with all the vaguery.”

Amber frowns. “That’s not a word.”

“Do you understand what I mean by it?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s a word, isn’t it? Answer the question. What do you guys want from Vin? And who am I talking about when I say ‘you guys’?”

Steven shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “We weren’t supposed to talk to you about this.”

“Vaguery!”

“Shh, alright.” Crystal says, sounding annoyed. “There’s a group of us, a rather large group, who are not especially happy with our current situation.”

“Your situation with the Colonies?”

“Our situation at this Colony.” Steven corrects.

“How is this one different than any others?”

“The first Colony was incredible. It was a lifesaver. People joined up willingly and it grew and grew until we had to branch out. New Colonies were formed, new Pods created. We traded with each other, we visited one another. You were allowed to go outside the gates and be in the world. It was dangerous but it was nice to walk free, to swim in the Sound, to visit the city. But as the Colonies expanded more and more the tone of things changed. They stopped talking about surviving and being a community. It became more about keeping the sickness out and maintaining the purity within. The doors were locked, people were assigned permanently to Pods and we lost contact with everyone else. Then the roundups started. They went into the city and gathered people, saying we were saving them from themselves and the illness. They were put to work. If they refused, they were taken away. People would disappear for days, sometimes weeks, and they’d come out looking broken. But they’d get right to work. It’s been going on this way for years.”

“That’s a generalization of all Colonies.” I say, feeling annoyed. “You said you’re unhappy with this one specifically. So you’re okay with all of that stuff? With being locked in and the roundups and us from the outside being taken prisoner?”

“It’s a posh prison compared to outside.”

“It’s still a prison.” I tell him hotly. “Just because you don’t want out doesn’t mean it’s not a cage.”

“But you see, we do want out. Or at least to go back home. When they brought all of us here to fix this place up they broke up families, something they’d never done before. They pulled parents from children, husbands from wives, sisters from brothers. They say the selection system is a lottery, that it’s random, but it’s not. It’s very specific.”

“Separating you from your families keeps you in line doesn’t it? It gives you the incentive to keep your head down.”

He nods grimly. When I glance at the others I can the tension in their faces. They’re all missing someone. “It’s a very good incentive, yes. One that we believe they felt the need to implement only recently. You see, Lexy told us your theory about the fallen Pod. We think you’re right.”

“Really? Because she didn’t seem to believe me. Or she didn’t want to.”

“She’s skeptical of everything.” Crystal says with distaste. “That’s why she’s dropped the ball with you.”

“What does that mean?”

“She was supposed to convince you to let her speak to the hornet a week ago. She’s not even trying anymore, is she?”

“No, she’s avoiding me actually.”

Crystal shakes her head, disgusted.

“Why didn’t you guys approach me?” I ask. “I would have taken any one of you to him immediately.”

“We were told not to talk to you about it.”

“By who? The Team Leaders?”

Steven chuckles. “No. By the others. Others like us.”

“Others who are unhappy?” I ask, picking up on what we’re not saying.

He nods. “But we got on with you too well too fast. It’s why Melissa pulled you out of here. She likes your relationship with Lexy because you don’t like each other. You obviously don’t trust each other.”

“And Melissa knows all of this how?”

“We’re watched very closely. This right now is actually very dangerous which is why any further communication will have to be with Lexy.”

“How can you go along with this?” I ask exasperated. “If you know they’re manipulating you and kidnapping people like me, how can you still be in favor of the Colonies?”

“We’re not in favor of it. Not exactly. We’re not ready to go out and live in the wild like you do, none of us would last a day, but we do want the old days of the Colonies. Back when it was a community all about survival and not—“

“A prison? A slave trade?”

Steven’s mouth drops into a grim line but he nods. “Yes, exactly.”

“As long as you’re in favor of people like me being allowed to live their life as they choose—“

“We are.”

“Then we’re good. I’m on board. But you still haven’t answered me, though I think I know the answer already. What does Lexy want to talk to Vin about?”

Steven meets my eyes with a sad smile. “Freedom.”

I nod. “I think that’s a conversation Vin would be willing to have.”

***

“Are you for real?” Vin asks Lexy, staring at her in amazement.

“Don’t be a dick.” I mutter to him.

I would rather he didn’t burn this bridge just as I built it up. It took days to get Lexy talking to me. Days of sitting beside her working on seams and never saying anything about my conversation in the kitchen. They told me to wait, to let her come to me. To let her take her time until she was ready. Steven and the rest of the kitchen crew promised to talk to Lexy and explain my willingness to bring her to Vin now that I knew what was what, at least a little. Still she made me wait.

Finally, on day four of the silent treatment, she broke down and asked again to speak to the hornet. I wanted to tell her no, just to watch her head explode. But I was too frustrated to bother so I told her I would make it happen.

The wild is very straightforward. All of this intrigue and drama here on the inside is giving me hives.

“No, really, I need to know.” Vin demands, having listened to her tell him the story the kitchen crew told me. “Is she being serious? Am I insane or am I getting this right? Because she isn’t actually saying what she wants.”

“I’ve made myself very clear.” Lexy says angrily.

I put my hand up to stop her. “Don’t fight fire with fire where Vin is concerned. You’ll only get burned.” I turn to face Vin, trying to be patient. “She hasn’t been clear, no, but you get the idea.”

He ignores me and glares at Lexy. “Say it in plain English or go away.”

I watch her grit her teeth but she doesn’t walk. I’m a little shocked by that. “We want help from The Hive.”

“Help with what?”

“With our release.” She takes a breath and her voice softens. “You’re not the only prisoners here.”

Vin chuckles darkly. “Honey, they won’t even help with my release. They don’t care anything about yours.”

“Why not? Your people hate the Colonies. I’d think they’d jump at the chance to take one down.”

Vin snorts. “Not badly enough to risk the lives of everyone in The Hive. If they come here and you don’t succeed, they’ll all be taken prisoner as well. It’s not worth it. Not by a long shot.” He leans forward and folds his hands on the table, looking her hard in the eye with his charming smile. “Now, if you want to free me, I’m all for that. I’ll go ask them to come rushing back here, but don’t be surprised when no one shows.”

“Not even you?” Lexy asks, glancing at Nats and I sitting on either side of Vin. “Not even for them?”

“Not for anyone.” he replies, no hesitation.

She shakes her head. “I can’t believe that.”

“Believe it.” I tell her. “It’s how it is in the wild. It’s how you survive.”

“Kitten’s right. You can’t value anyone or anything too much.”

“Which is why you have to offer The Hive more. Way more than just Vin or a shot at destroying this place.” I say evenly, wondering what the hell I’m doing.

But I’ve been thinking about this for the last four days as I waited for Lexy to decide she trusted me. I figured it out that they wanted Vin for his connection to The Hive and since they wanted their freedom, what else could they be planning but to ask The Hive to attack this small Pod and set them all free? And I knew it would never work. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that because I want to hope too, I want to believe that I’ll make it out of here someday even if it’s childish to dream of it. That’s when I started wondering if there was a way.

“What are you talking about?” Vin asks slowly, eyeing me.

“What could we give them?” Lexy asks warily.

“You’ll give them the one thing they’ll fight for.” I tell her. “You’ll give them this Pod. Intact. Undamaged. Taken down from the inside. That’s something they could never have, not without you.”

Vin sits back hard in his chair, watching me. I can see the wheels turning, the numbers crunching and the idea forming in his mind. But will it be enough?

I look at Lexy but I’m speaking to Vin. “There’s hardly any leadership here because they have you all over a barrel with your families. From what I understand, there’s enough unrest to overthrow this place from the inside. So do it. Take control and ask The Hive to help you take down the next Pod in exchange for ownership over this one. If they attacked it from the outside without your help, they’d damage the hell out of it. It’d be almost worthless to them later.”

“There are plans in place to destroy it and escape, leaving attackers nothing to show for their efforts.” Lexy confirms.

“Exactly. They’d gain nothing. But if you hand it to them they could actually use it. They wouldn’t just be a gang anymore, they’d be an outpost. It’s a whole different level of living than what they’ve got right now. With the resources you have, it would set them head and shoulders above the rest of the gangs out there. They’d be the Walmart of the wild. Once you take down the next Pod, you’ll have their numbers, your families, added to your ranks. You wouldn’t necessarily need The Hive anymore to take down the third one. But even if you did, you still have a bargaining chip.”

“The second Pod?” Lexy asks, looking very, very interested.

“No. Knowledge. They have no idea how to take care of this place. They don’t plant crops or tend fields, not on this level, and they don’t have livestock. They fish and go to market to trade for whatever else they need. Ask Vin if he can milk a cow. I promise you he can’t and I doubt any of his crew can either. But you can. You said it yourself, you didn’t need a lot of leadership cause you’re all veterans here. Use that to your advantage to leverage more help from The Hive.”

Lexy looks at me hopefully then turns to Vin. “Would they do it? Would they agree to help us if we gave up a Pod?”

“And promised an end to the roundups.” I supply, thinking that’s a practice I’d rather The Hive didn’t adopt once they gained this seat of power.

“Would that all be worth it to them?”

Vin clears his throat. I watch as he spins his ring on his finger, thinking.

“I don’t know for sure. But it would certainly be worth a shot.” he replies quietly.

Lexy’s brow falls. She looks unsure as she glances at me. “Is that good enough? Can I trust him?”

“Probably not.”

“Brutal, Kitten.” he mutters.

“But what choice do you have?” I ask Lexy, ignoring Vin and his feelings. “You can’t sit around waiting for more gang members to show up here and hope they’ll play ball.”

“More of them have shown up. Just last week. But they’re from smaller gangs and wouldn’t be any use.”

“Wait, there are more outsiders here? Since when?” I ask, sitting forward.

I can feel Vin watching me closely, thinking of other things now.

“Since last week.” Lexy replies. “They’re on the second schedule. It’s just two of them from some small gang.”

“What do they look like?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen them. I only heard about them.”

“Can you find out their names for me?”

“Sure.” Lexy nods. “I’ll see what I can do if you talk to him about doing this for us.”

Vin puts his hands up innocently. “I already said I’d plead your case to The Hive if you freed me.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t exactly sound like you were planning on selling it.” Nats says, glaring at him.

“Are you mad at me right now?” he asks incredulously.

“We all are. It’s a good deal and you know they’ll consider it. They would kill to get their hands on a piece of the Colonies. You’ll be Marlow’s Golden Boy if you bring this to him so stop playing coy and just agree to it.” Vin goes to open his mouth but before he can speak Nats points her finger at him, whispering fiercely, “And you better come back for me, you son of a bitch. You leave me here to rot in this cage and I’ll die of boredom and haunt you for the rest of your days.”

Vin grins affectionately at her hostility. He leans forward to kiss her cheek lightly. “Anything you say, Boss.”

“So you’ll do it?” Lexy asks eagerly. “You’ll go for help?”

He nods reluctantly at her. “Yeah, I’ll do it. Just tell me when and my bags will be packed.”

“Tomorrow night.” she says without hesitation.

“What?” I ask, shocked. “Seriously?”

“Yes, we’re ready. We’ve been ready. There’s no sense in waiting, right?”

“I guess not.” I mutter, still feeling surprised by the suddenness of it. How long have they had this planned just waiting for the right person to set free?

“You’ll go out on a boat. I can’t get you a jacket, they monitor those too closely and only hand them out to people working the fields. Then they take them back the second they come inside. But the women in the laundry have been pulling things aside in varying sizes so you can wear layers.”

“You’ve been prepping for this already?” Vin asks. “Even before asking me?”

Lexy shrugs with a smile. “Luck favors the prepared.”

The phrase immediately reminds me of Crazy Crenshaw and I realize I miss him and his madness. Among other things.

“How exactly am I getting out?”

“Tim will explain all that in the morning. He’s got an idea of how to slip you through the fences.”

“Tim from the field crew? He’s in on this?”

“We’re all in on this.” Lexy says seriously. “Every last one of us.”

***

As it turns out, that’s not strictly true. Aside from the meager leadership there are still a few people in this Pod that are too scared of the Colony’s rule to stand up against it. Hopefully when it all goes down they jump on board anyway. At that point, what have they got to lose? But until then some stealth is still required and even Lexy isn’t 100% sure who is a total ally and who isn’t. Aside from herself, Tim, a few of his friends in the fields, all of the women in the laundry, half the sewing room, all of the kitchen and the better part of the greenhouse and gardens crew, people’s alliances are unknown. That means every last guard is a question mark and most likely loyal to the Colony, albeit grudgingly.

Ask me how much I like those odds.

But the ball is rolling and after dinner Lexy took off to tell Tim and the others heading this things that Vin is on board. I wonder if she’s going to tell them how shady it all is, that we don’t know for sure if The Hive will bite. That we don’t know if Vin will ever come back.

“You look worried, Kitten.” Vin tells me from across the table.

Nats has gone to work while Vin and I are skipping out on after dinner family fun time in the common room. There are a few other people here in the cafeteria with us sitting around tables alone or in small groups, chatting quietly.

“Shouldn’t I be?” I ask dryly.

“You worried about me? That I’m gonna get hurt?”

“No.” I chuckle.

“You worried about your boy?”

I frown at him. “What?”

“Are you worried he’s one of the newbies she told you about?”

Yes. I am worried Ryan is here. I’m worried he’s here and I’m hoping he’s here and the contradiction is ridiculous and torturous.

“No.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“You’re a terrible person.”

He grins. “You don’t mean that.”

“Are you really going to do it?” I ask him, staring him straight in the eye. “Will you really go to Marlow and try and sell this to him? Or will you go home and forget about us?”

His grin fades. He spins the ring on his finger and I wonder what he’s considering. Lying to me? Telling me the cold, hard truth? Or is he actually wondering what he’ll do? Part of me wonders if he, as cocky and sure as he is, even knows what will come of this night.

“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?” he finally replies, his voice deep and low.

I should be annoyed with him. Even to me, the loner of loners, it’s a no brainer. If the Colonies can be stopped, we have to try. It’ll mean one less worry in the wild. One less predator to be afraid of every second of every day. It could even mean the trading of Colony goods, something that would benefit every last one of us outside these walls. But I’m not annoyed because I understand. I get the mentality of every man for himself and this help your fellow man for the greater good business is a notion that died out a decade ago. It was spilled with blood and lost to the ground in the first bite of the first zombie to rise up from the dead and usher in the dawn of the Hell of Earth that we walk in today.

Welcome to the new age.

This is the world we live in now and it’s been working relatively well for everyone so far. We’re all still alive, aren’t we?

Honestly, are we?

I don’t know anymore. I think of the last message I wrote to Ryan telling him I was waking up. I still believe it, even here and now in this place where everyone seems to be sheep falling asleep, following commands. No part of me wants to fall in line, not even with Vin when it’s for the greater good. I don’t know if that makes me a loner, a rebel or a free thinker who refuses to go down without a fight. Maybe I’m none of them or maybe I’m all of them, but what I know for certain is that I need to leave this place to find out. I want another shot at living my life outside with choices to be made and risks to be taken. I want to laugh out loud with no one else around. I want to walk through the streets and not be so afraid of who sees me. And I want to write on the wall with no filter or restraint.

“I have to go.” I say suddenly, heading for the door.

“Not even going to kiss me goodbye?!” Vin calls after me.

I run through the halls and burst outside, the cold air slapping me hard in the face. It invades my lungs, pinching them and making it painful to breathe. I don’t envy Vin this. Going out into this cold tomorrow. Trying to make it across the city is going to suck for him. Lexy told us it’s about a mile and a half from here to aquarium but it’s going to be dark, possibly raining and so very cold. We didn’t even discuss the massive swarm of Risen roaming just outside the walls. Luckily Vin thinks he’s invincible.

“You’re not supposed to be out here.” I hear a voice say to me from across the grass.

I raise my hand, waving to them faintly. “Sorry, I just… I needed some air. I won’t leave this spot okay? Just five minutes?”

The guard hesitates and I wish I knew some of them. I wish I’d made more friends and had more pull. Don’t tell Vin.

Finally he nods silently and goes on about his patrol but I know he won’t go very far. That’s okay. This won’t take long.

I look around the ground furtively, cursing the sparseness of this area but this is as far out as I can get. Whatever I find in here is going to have to suit me. What I could do is go inside and forget the whole thing. It’s not like it matters. It’s not like he’ll ever see it. It’s not like he’s here.

My heart pangs at the idea of him locked inside these walls and I want to write this message more than ever if only to prove to myself that it will go unnoticed. That he’s not here. Finally I spot a small stone that looks like it will do. I snatch it up in my trembling, cold fingers. Then I write. I write with simple honesty something I would never have had the nerve to write on the outside but wish desperately that I had. It’s nothing huge. Nothing profound. But it’s heartfelt and real and I imagine as I write it on this wall in this prison that the words are appearing on our wall on the outside. That this message will reach him no matter where he is. That he’ll think of me and that sliver of my soul that I left with him to travel wherever he goes will light up like the sun and run with him again. He’ll carry me far away from here, outside these walls, beyond these waters and I’ll be home again. Just four words to fly me away forever.

I miss your kiss.