Текст книги "Slaying the Dragon"
Автор книги: T.K. Leigh
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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 25 страниц)
Mackenzie
“THIS WAY,” TYLER SAID to me that evening as we emerged from his company’s jet and headed toward the flight operation base at Brownsville airport. “I have a car waiting.”
“Wait.” I stopped. “I parked my car at one of the long-term lots.”
“I’ll have Eli arrange to get it to you.” He gestured to Eli, who nodded in agreement. It seemed peculiar to be standing between these two men again, as if no time had passed at all, as if things were back to how they were before I found out the truth. Eli’s eyes were trained on me, a soft expression on his face. I could almost see the apology etched there, as if he hoped I wouldn’t hold a grudge against him for his role in the assignment, and I knew I couldn’t. He was simply following orders. I couldn’t blame him for that. But wasn’t Tyler doing the same thing? Would I be considered a hypocrite if I forgave Eli and not Tyler?
“Mackenzie?” Tyler interrupted my thoughts.
“Fine. It’s not the same car, though.”
He looked surprised. “You bought a new car?”
I avoided his eyes. “Not exactly.”
“Then what?”
I placed my hands on my hips in frustration. I knew I would have to eventually tell Tyler about what his mother had done for me, but I was dreading it. I was worried he would think everything fell apart when he left, and that I couldn’t function without him in my life. That wasn’t the case at all.
“Mackenzie, just tell me.”
“Fine,” I exhaled. “Your mom paid me a visit to apologize for you being a prick. Then she saw you knocked me up and must have seen the huge stack of overdue bills on my kitchen table. So she paid off the loan on the restaurant and my mortgage. She’s also covering all my medical expenses, and bought me a new car that could fit a baby seat.” Spinning on my heels, I stormed away from him and toward the waiting SUV.
The driver reached for the door, about to open it, when Tyler rushed forward. I was waiting for him to press the issue, to ask questions I didn’t feel like answering. Much to my surprise, he simply held the door for me.
“Allow me,” he said.
Studying him, I finally stepped back and permitted him to help me into the SUV. As he did, his hand brushed against my stomach. His stature tightened immediately. I met his gaze, a look of unease and bewilderment on his handsome face.
Smiling, I grabbed his hand in mine and placed it against my stomach. “It’s okay.” Our eyes remained locked as I kept my hands glued to his, hoping he would see I wanted him to be a part of this. Time seemed to stand still and, for that short moment, I was no longer concerned with all the lies he had told me. We were us again…the real us. The us I missed. The us I loved. The us I hoped we could be again.
There was a small flutter in my stomach and I couldn’t help but feel as though this was supposed to happen. “I think he knows his daddy’s here,” I murmured, breaking the perfect silence.
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“I think he’s kicking.” I removed my hands from on top of his, feeling the sides of my stomach.
“What does it feel like?” he asked, mesmerized. His breathing grew heavier and I knew he was in the moment. I had the same reaction the first time I felt it. Before then, it hadn’t really sunk in that this was real, even after seeing the ultrasounds and hearing the heartbeat. But that first flutter… Words were insufficient to properly convey the depth of awe I felt.
“Like a flutter of butterflies,” I explained, “but more intense. It’s almost like…”
“Yes?” he whispered, bringing his body closer to mine.
I exhaled, a satisfied smile crossing my face at the irony of it all. “Like lightning.”
Tyler swallowed hard, his breathing shallow. Our eyes locked and I saw the longing within. Licking his lips, he slowly lowered his head toward mine. My heart raced in my chest and I could have sworn I heard it echoing around us.
His breath on my skin tingled my senses, reminding me how much I craved him. Even the most innocent of touches sent me reeling, never wanting to be separated from him again. I closed my eyes, lost in the moment. I wanted his kiss, but I didn’t. I pined for it, but I knew I shouldn’t. When his lips brushed against mine, I moaned, my taut stature relaxing.
I had dreamt of this precise moment for months. Hearing his voice in my sleep, imagining his skin on mine… His voice murmuring his deepest and darkest desires had seemed so real. Now it finally was. But was I so weak to let him think he could just waltz back into my life without suffering any ramifications for what he had done to me? It wasn’t supposed to be this easy.
Subduing my urges, I pressed my hands against his firm chest and pushed him away.
He flung his eyes open, confused and a bit disoriented. “Mackenzie…”
“Tyler…,” I said simultaneously.
“What is it?” he whispered.
“I just… I can’t.” I sighed, fumbling to explain why I wanted to be us again, but just not yet. “It’s too soon. You want to start from the beginning again? I do, too, but it’s going to take time for me to forget everything. I need to learn who you are. I don’t want to go to bed with the Tyler who broke my heart. I want to go to bed with the Tyler who would walk through fire for me. I need to get to know that Tyler. The two weeks we were together were the best of my life…until the bottom dropped. We loved hard and fast. I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I don’t want to rush this. I need to learn to like you before I can give you my heart again. If you keep kissing me like that, I won’t be able to stop at just a kiss. I’ll want it all and I can’t help but think it won’t end well for us.”
Despite his apparent disappointment, he pulled away from me, respecting my wishes. Grabbing my hand in his, he placed a chaste kiss on it. “At least you’re not saying no.”
Pulling my hand from his, I tried to subdue the butterflies flapping in my stomach at the sexy, coy look on his face. “I’m not saying yes, either.”
“Not yet, but you will,” he murmured against my ear, causing a spine-tingling chill to rush through me.
I had missed those chills.
~~~~~~~~~~
“ELI WILL BE DROPPING your car off within the hour,” Tyler said, hanging up his cell phone as the chauffeured SUV pulled into the parking lot of my condo. “He can bring your keys up to you or leave them at the front desk. Whichever you’d prefer.”
“The front desk is fine. I’m planning on pouring myself a glass of sparkling water and soaking in the tub.”
“Tired?”
“Growing a human is a lot of work.” I smiled at him as he leapt out of the SUV, running around to open my door for me.
I held out my hand for him and was caught breathless when he grabbed my waist and lifted me from the back seat. I remained suspended off the ground for several long moments, simply staring down at him, his smile wide. It felt like my first crush all over again…the excitement, the unexpected. I never wanted to stop living in this moment. Earlier this morning, I was furious with him, but his patience and initiative to share even the deepest and darkest parts of his soul spoke to me on another level. With each brush of his skin on mine, each tender word, each caring gesture, I felt my resolve begin to crack. His mother’s words continued to play on repeat in my subconscious, urging me to consider forgiving him because he needed it and not because he deserved it.
My feet slowly met the ground, our gaze still locked. “Thanks,” I whispered.
“You bet, princess. I need to make sure you have your footing. You are carrying precious cargo, after all.” He winked and grabbed my hand, walking beside me toward the building.
Wyatt bolted up from his desk when he saw Tyler and me enter. “Sir,” he said curtly, taking purposeful steps across the lobby towards us. “Your brother called and apprised me of the situation. The team is on standby and is happy to stay at their posts.”
I tore my hand from Tyler’s and took a few steps away from him, a chill washing over me once more. Crossing my arms, I glowered at him. “Team? There’s a team? I knew about Wyatt because he told me, but there’s more?”
Tyler let out a long breath. “I meant to tell you on the flight home, but I guess I was enjoying our conversation and didn’t want to bring up anything that would ruin it.”
“Well, now I know, so start talking,” I hissed.
“This is Martin,” he said, gesturing to the built older man standing next to him who I had known as Wyatt. “He’s Alexander’s version of Eli.”
“We’ve met, but I thought he was the only one! How many others?”
“Six total on your protection team,” he said sheepishly.
“Six?!” I exclaimed in disbelief, wondering how I could have missed six people watching my every move and spying on me.
He sighed, apparently unsure of how to handle my outburst. “After everything went down, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to give you space, then Alex came to me with a new assignment. The thought of abandoning you, of not being there to look out for you and ensure your safety… I couldn’t stomach it. The only reason I ended up taking the assignment was because Alexander promised you would be better protected than the president. It’s been the only thing that’s given me some sort of peace of mind over the past few months.”
I remained speechless, absorbing his words.
“Like I told you earlier, Mackenzie. I never let you go.”
Staring between Tyler and Martin, I straightened my spine. “Who are the others?”
“Three of your new employees at the restaurant,” Tyler admitted, running his hand through his hair.
My eyes widened. “How? I do all the hiring!”
“We made sure their qualifications were such that you couldn’t say no,” Martin offered.
“Who?”
Tyler hesitated briefly. “Chris, one of your line cooks; Gretchen, a server; and your bar manager, Kevin.”
I gasped. “Kevin?”
He nodded.
“Okay. Who else?” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it all earlier. I thought Kevin was sucking up to me and that’s why he always seemed concerned with how I was doing.
“Did you notice the new guy working the front desk at your gym?”
I nodded.
“And I’m sure you noticed a new personal trainer there who tried to hound you?”
I nodded once more.
“That’s it, plus Martin.”
I stood, dumbfounded, unsure of what to think of Tyler’s confession. I knew Wyatt…Martin was keeping an eye on me, but everyone else? I didn’t know why it made me feel as if I was being lied to all over again, but it did. And I hated that feeling. I hated wondering what else Tyler was keeping from me.
“I see,” I finally said, turning and continuing across the lobby toward the elevator.
“Wait! Mackenzie!” Tyler shouted, running after me. “You’re not mad, are you? I just–“
I spun around, my eyes fierce, anger pooling in my veins.
His expression turned pleading as he attempted to reach for my hand. I ripped it from his grasp, refusing to fall under the spell his touch had on me.
“I couldn’t let you go, Mackenzie,” he said softly. “I needed to make sure someone was looking out for you wherever you were.”
I glared at him as the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival. His confession hanging in the air, I entered the car.
Just as the doors were about to close, leaving Tyler behind, I huffed. “Well, are you coming or not? I didn’t realize you needed a written invitation.” I allowed a small smile to cross my face.
“Yes, ma’am!” Tyler beamed back, jumping into the elevator right before the doors closed and it began to ascend to the twelfth floor.
“You’re not mad, are you?” he asked softly, breaking the silence.
I sighed, leaning against the wall. “No, Tyler. I’m not mad. Perhaps a little irritated or annoyed, but not mad. You just need to start being open with me. I don’t want you to wait to tell me things until you have to and are on the spot. I don’t want things to be like that between us. After everything, I need you to be honest with me. No lies. No keeping information from me. I want to learn to trust you again, Tyler, but I can only do that if I know I’m getting full disclosure from you. Okay?”
“Okay,” he said, grinning a mischievous grin at me.
I scrunched my eyebrows. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets, his grin growing wider as he rocked on his feet. His dimples popped and I almost heard a whimper escape my mouth at how adorably sexy he looked at that moment.
“Tell me!” I pinched his side. He grabbed my hand and before I knew it, he had me pinned against the wall and was hovering over me. My breath caught, my patience with taking things slow wearing thin.
“Us,” he murmured, nuzzling my skin with his nose.
“What?” I breathed.
“You said ‘us’. I can’t tell you how that makes me feel.”
The elevator dinged and I pushed against him, exiting into the corridor. Glancing over my shoulder, I smirked. “Out of that whole conversation, that’s the only thing you’re taking away from it?”
“No,” he said. “I get what you’re saying. I will be nothing but an open book with you from this moment forward, regardless of the consequences. But that word…” A wide smile crossed his face. I tried to hide my own smile at the excitement that seemed to ooze from every inch of him. “It gives me hope that I didn’t fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You’ve got a long way to go, Mr. Burnham.”
“I know. But if my memory serves me correctly, something tells me the wait will be worth it.” He raised his eyebrows, his eyes raking over my body in a devious way.
His persistence shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me. It was one of the things that attracted me to him in the beginning. He saw me as a challenge back then. I could only assume he saw me the same way now. Despite wanting to take things slow, it was oddly comforting to have him here with me, to feel his warmth approach behind me as I unlocked my door. I felt more safe and at ease than I had in months.
I stepped through the foyer and into the living area, clicking on the lights. When I sensed Tyler was no longer behind me, I spun around to see him hesitating just past the doorway, eyeing my security alarm panel.
Crossing his arms in front of his chest, his expression turned concerned. “Please tell me the only reason you didn’t arm your system was because you simply forgot.”
I continued into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, and shrugged. “Everything’s been fine, Tyler. No break-ins.” Taking a sip of my water, I faced him. He took strong, determined steps into my open living area, his presence filling the room in an almost intimidating manner, his gaze unrelenting.
“Anyway…” I sat down on my couch. “It seems you’ve had someone keeping an eye on me, so I don’t really see why it matters.”
“It’s not just yourself you have to worry about now, Mackenzie.” His face softened as his eyes traveled to my stomach. He sat down beside me. “Don’t get me wrong.” He took my water from me and placed it on the coffee table. Clutching both my hands in his, he continued, “I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you, but there’s a lot more at stake now so, please, do me a favor and arm your system. It’ll make me feel better. Can you do that?” He furrowed his eyebrows, a pleading look on his face. From the beginning, he had always been fiercely protective of me. It was one of the things that drove me crazy and made me all the more attracted to him at the same time. Still, he had a point. It wasn’t just me anymore. What if someone broke in after the baby was born? I didn’t even want to think about that possibility.
A look of resignation crossing my face, I nodded. “Okay. I promise I’ll use the system again.”
“Thank you.” He kissed my temple softly, then got up. “Well, everything here appears safe and secure. Good night, Mackenzie.” Smiling, he retreated from me, pulling the door open.
“Wait!” I followed him. “When can I see you again?”
“Tomorrow.”
“When tomorrow?”
He reached for my hand and brushed his lips against it, reigniting the longing I felt from his absence. “You’ll find out.” He winked. Just as he was about to close the door and leave me alone with nothing but my thoughts, he popped back into my condo. “I almost forgot.” He pulled a black journal out of his cargo shorts and handed it to me. “I want you to have this.”
Taking it in my hands, I ran my fingers over the leather, lingering over the gold embossed letters T.J.B. “What’s this?”
“Earlier today, you said you thought I forgot about you and that’s why I never wrote or called. I knew this wasn’t something that could be settled with a phone call or letter. I’m pretty sure you would have hung up on me, or tore up whatever I wrote you. But that didn’t stop me from wanting to tell you what I was feeling. That’s what’s in this journal… Four months of heartache.”
I looked up at him, seeing the broken version of Tyler I had seen on occasion, particularly early on in our relationship when he spoke of Melanie. And I knew… I knew the distance between us tore him up more than any other heartache he had suffered in his past.
He grabbed my free hand in his and held it over his heart. “It’s yours, Mackenzie. It always has been. And these pages will prove it.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Mackenzie,
I guess it’s better than writing “Dear diary”, as if I were some pre-pubescent girl pouring her heart and soul out to a pretty pink journal. But there are some similarities here, I guess. I am pouring my heart out. It’s been two weeks since I last saw you. Fourteen nights I’ve been forced to fall asleep without listening to your breathing. 336 hours since I last felt your skin on mine. 20,160 minutes since I saw your beautiful, perfect smile.
I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for what I did, but I do hope you might understand one day why I did what I did. There’s really no excuse for it, other than pride, a desire to be accepted, to prove I wasn’t a failure. And you had to pay the ultimate price…as did our love.
It was love, of that I am certain. It was for me anyway. Yes, it was messy, chaotic, and wild, but aren’t the best love affairs just that? I loved you without abandon, with every last cell in my body, with every last beat of my heart. And I still love you.
When I first laid eyes on you, I felt as if I already knew you, and it wasn’t just because I had studied up on who you were. Watching you walk along the shoreline in the moonlight and look at the stars as if they held all the answers to the questions you were too scared to ask, well… Something sparked inside me. Something I thought I gave up on years ago. Hope. You’re my hope, my dream, my light in a world of darkness.
But life isn’t supposed to be easy… Love isn’t supposed to be easy, but it was for us. I loved you fast and hard. You possessed my heart before you even muttered a single word to me. And the hardest thing I ever had to do was watch you walk away from me because I still love you. I wake up each morning with an ache in my chest, a hole in my heart… A piece that I gave to you and don’t want back.
I miss you, Mackenzie. Every hour of every day. I miss you in the morning when I have my coffee. I miss you in the afternoon as I attempt to teach these refugee children how to play one sport or another. I miss you the most at night when the world is quiet, barely a sound to be heard for miles and miles. I stare at the sky, the stars more brilliant than anything I can remember. Silence surrounds me, reminding me you’re not here to fall asleep next to me, and my heart aches a little bit more.
I should have treasured each and every moment I had with you. From the beginning, I knew our time was fleeting and I took it for granted. I was so consumed with trying to protect my heart from what I knew would inevitably happen, I squandered what precious time we had together, and I’ll never do that again.
I know hearing the words “I’m sorry” won’t fix this, but I intend to prove to you that I truly am sorry for what I did. I just pray I eventually have the opportunity to do so.
Until then, I love you, my lightning strike.
Tyler’s words consumed me as I lay in bed long into the early morning hours, surrounding myself with his thoughts, his emotions, his love… It was like a blanket wrapped around me, keeping me safe and secure. With each simple gesture…from being patient as I worked through whether I could learn to trust him again, to his beautiful words, to the bewilderment in his eyes when he felt our baby…I was remembering all the reasons I had allowed him into my heart all those months ago.
The realization washed over me like a wave. It wasn’t the Tyler I originally thought he was whom I had let into my heart, my soul, my life… It was this Tyler. The Tyler who swore he was a broken man. The Tyler who thought he lost me. The Tyler who did lose me because I was too blind with anger to see the truth. His love was as real and pure as anything I had ever experienced, as was mine.
Picking up my cell phone, I hastily typed a text to Tyler, punching in the new number he had given me earlier in the day.
I love you.
I waited with bated breath for a response. One arrived almost instantly, causing a brilliant grin to spread across my face.
I know. I loved you even before I truly knew what love was. Love is you. Your smile. Your heart. Your patience. Sleep well. Te queiro, mi cariño.
