Текст книги "Love Unrehearsed"

Автор книги: Tina Reber

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 27 страниц)

Ryan snickered and rubbed my back. “Sure. What brought this on?”

“Planning weddings apparently makes women go insane. I’m pretty sure Tammy’s growing fangs and claws.”

“Oh. That sucks. Is it contagious?”

“God, I hope not.”

He whispered in my ear, “You can always hire a wedding planner to do that shit for you.”

My head popped off his chest when I heard a loud crash and Marie’s high-pitched yell for help coming from the spare room. I found her surrounded by a few boxes and a whole lot of crap spilled out around her feet—clothing, books, and a slew of old videocassette tapes.

“Sorry,” she pleaded, still holding a box from tipping off the top shelf in the closet. I had to laugh at her panicked expression. “I tried to move one and they all came crashing down.”

Mike took the box out of her hands.

“Are these boxes full or what?” Ryan asked, opening one of them.

I folded up one of my mom’s old sweaters and set it aside, trying to clear a path. “That’s all of your fan mail from the last few weeks, hon. You need to either go through it or we need to pitch it.”

He looked astounded and confused. “All of this?”

“All of those boxes.” Marie pointed. “Including skanky underwear, sappy praise, and more death threats.”

He turned on her, and then turned his questioning glare on me. “Death threats?”

What could I say? As sick as it was, it wasn’t anything new. Several thousand of his fans hated that he was with me.

Some unspoken message passed between Ryan and Mike before Ryan cursed and then hauled one of the boxes out to my living room.

I boxed up all of the videos, noting that my name was written on the majority of them. Memories.

Childhood memories. Memories that Dan and Jennifer Mitchell made for me.

Without even thinking, I grabbed the box of tapes and sat on my living room floor in front of the television, pressing the tape marked “Fourth of July 1986—Taryn 4 yrs old” into the aging VCR.

Ryan sat on the ottoman behind me. “Look at you! All curly blond ringlets.”

I smiled at my innocent babbling about swimming with my Barbie doll, pushing my oversized sunglasses up my sun-kissed nose. I had on a little pink one-piece swimsuit with a blue fish on the hip.

Ryan pointed over my shoulder. “Is that? Yeah, that’s your pappy’s cabin.” I saw the familiar gray cinder-block garage behind me.

And then I saw him. Like a ghost out of my innermost thoughts he appeared, coming out of the garage behind me. Tall, thin, and lanky, walking with the stinted lope of a teenager.

There he was, captured forever on film.

The boy with the black hair.

I felt as though someone poured ice through my veins.

Chapter 15

Discoveries

I stared at the television for so long my eyes hurt. It was like he walked right out of one of my nightmares and presented himself to me. Here I am—the one who haunts you.

Ryan had moved behind me after telling Mike and Marie we needed a few minutes of privacy. He sat on the floor, holding me while I quietly broke down again.

I didn’t even realize I was touching my own mouth until I felt Ryan’s hand smooth around my wrist.

“In my dreams, he always has bloody teeth. Just blood—everywhere. I never . . .” It was hard to speak.

“Is that Joe?” Ryan asked softly.

I nodded. “I think so.” I rewound the tape and paused to see him in still frame but the tape made squiggly lines on the screen, obscuring his face.

I felt Ryan’s lips, his breath on my neck. “Is this one of the things that has you jumping out of bed sometimes?”

“Yeah. All this time, I didn’t know who he was. He’s not in any family pictures. I thought . . . I thought he was someone I made up.”

Ryan slipped the remote out of my hand and pressed play again. The tape rolled on, mostly capturing me playing with beach toys in a round plastic wading pool on the grass. Every so often, Joe would make an appearance, a ghost in the background, lurking, but always keeping an eye on the camera’s direction. I suppose, keeping an eye on me.

“I want to know him.”

Ryan’s hand skated across my face, taking in my plea. “Mike can find him if you want,” he said.

I thought about it for a second. “I want him to want to know me, too. It can’t be one-sided. He’s got to want to know me but it’s been so long—people change.”

Ryan held my face, pressing a soft kiss on my lips, but he was distracted by the heavy thudding of footsteps coming up my stairwell.

I heard Pete’s hearty greeting when Marie let them in.

Ryan crawled around me, pressing the eject button. “You change your mind, just say the word. We can hire someone to track him down. I’ll let you decide if you want to share all of this with them.”

My gaze was locked on the tight skin of his body, graciously exposed when his T-shirt rode up his stomach. It was just the jolt I needed.

Pete instantly scrutinized me and jerked his head for me to follow him to the dining room, where he cornered me. “Red-rimmed eyes. All puffy. You okay?”

Nothing got past Pete.

And I couldn’t lie to him. I gave him a noncommittal head bob while his mouth silently said “bullshit.”

I decided talk therapy was what I needed.

I pulled out a chair and asked Tammy to join us. No sense having to repeat myself. After a string of introductory words, I then uttered the two words that churned like acid in my stomach.

“. . . I’m adopted.”

Ryan closed our bedroom door and peeled his shirt off, exposing a body I’d never get tired of looking at.

“You know I don’t care, right?” His words were as gentle as the eyes that watched me with apprehension.

I’d spent an evening discussing my origins with my friends; it was emotionally exhausting.

“I know.”

“Doesn’t change anything about how I feel about you. The only thing I want to know is if you’re going to take my last name when we get married, which I’m hoping to hell you will.”

I blinked at him, processing what he said, and then sort of melted inside. “I had intended to.”

He breathed out a contended sigh and hugged me. “Thank you.”

I heard the toilet flush and Marie’s and Mike’s low murmurs outside our closed door.

“It’s weird having other people here,” I muttered conspiratorially.

“Yeah, I know. I totally love your apartment but I hope you know I don’t want to live above your pub for the rest of our lives.”

“Or listen to Marie giggle before sex.”

“That too,” he chuckled, palming my rear. “You do realize that Mike and I can’t leave here until both of you are bowlegged and glowing, right?”

I grinned. “You should make it a competition. See which one of you folds first.”

Before I could react, Ryan let me go and grabbed the doorknob. “Hallway meeting,” he called out loudly.

I felt instant mortification. “Ryan!”

“Shush.” Ryan crossed his beefy arms, waiting. God, I loved his biceps. Mike came out of the room, sans shirt as well. Damn, he was built like a linebacker who spends his life in a gym, not to mention his chest was as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

“Two things,” Ryan started, holding up his fingers. “You come out of your room for any reason, you put something on. I don’t want to see anyone else’s bare ass other than my woman’s. Number two, Taryn suggests we make a wager on this evening’s festivities.”

“Ryan!”

He pushed me back with his fingertips. “Shush.”

Mike leaned a hand on the door frame. “Wager?”

“First man to fold.”

Mike’s eyes cut to me once, quickly. “Interesting. I’m in. Time or quantity?” he asked as casually as if they were discussing the weather.

“What time is our flight again?”

“Eleven forty-five. We’re gone by nine,” Mike’s deep voice rumbled.

“Time. We can sleep on the plane.”

“Agreed. Bet?”

“Two bills?”

“Sounds fair. Women keeping time?”

“Yep,” Ryan quipped. “Time gets written down so there’s no cheating.”

“Anything else?” Mike asked.

“Nope.”

“What time is it now?”

Ryan leaned around to see my alarm clock. “Ten after eleven.”

I watched as they shook hands.

“Have a good night,” Mike said with a nod.

“You too, man.” Ryan tapped his shoulder and then locked our bedroom door.

Me and my big mouth.

The lascivious glare Ryan gave me instantly made my heart beat faster, warming me in all the right places, effectively distracting me from all of my woes. I was the rabbit and he was the hungry wolf and it was obvious that I was about to be eaten alive. Perhaps this wasn’t a stupid suggestion after all.

He walked with purpose, stalking over to my side of the bed.

Game on.

My alarm went off at eight o’clock. I wanted to hurl it against the wall and smash it to bits. Ryan’s arm was pinning me to the bed and he was out. Even the shrill of the alarm didn’t stir him.

I heard the shower turn on so I hit the snooze button one more time before dragging my butt into the kitchen to make the guys some breakfast.

Marie came shuffling in, rubbing one eye, and mumbled something that sounded like “morning.” “You write your time down?”

“No.”

She stretched. “Damn, my body hurts.”

My body ached, too. I could feel the pain in my hips. “Yep.”

She grabbed a piece of mail off the counter, tore it in half, and grabbed a pen. “Was this shit really your idea?”

I took four coffee mugs out of the cabinet. “I said it as a joke.”

“It was brilliant.” She pushed the torn envelope and the pen toward me. “But I think he broke my vagina.”

I spit out some coffee after that one, staining my envelope piece. I wrote down the last time I looked at the clock: 4:50.

Marie had written 5:10.

“Looks like Ryan’s out two hundred,” I muttered.

Mike came in all fresh and looking mighty fine in a pair of worn jeans and a gray tee that hugged every muscular curve. “Morning, ladies. Who won?” He ran a hand tenderly over Marie’s shoulder.

“You did.” She beamed up at him.

He smiled and kissed her as if they’d been together for years. I didn’t miss his hand possessively palming her butt cheek, either. It made me smile.

“Pay up, shorty,” he teased Ryan when he came into the kitchen.

Ryan motioned for the results. “I lost by twenty minutes?” He groaned and tossed the papers onto the counter. “That’s bullshit.”

I poured a cup of coffee for him. “Sorry, babe.”

“Twenty freakin’ minutes.” He towered over me, giving me the stink eye. “You made me quit, too.”

“Sorry. I was done. You want me to pay half?”

“No,” he grumbled, scowling at me, making me question whether he was truly upset. “I got it. But you owe me and I will collect.”

I followed him into the bedroom, worried. “Are you really mad at me?”

He smirked. “No, babe. I’m just teasing. I was tired and wiped out, too. It’s okay . . . until I collect what you owe me.” He cracked me hard on the rear.

I sucked in a breath, imagining him collecting. I hated watching Ryan pack. He was always in motion.

Like two sad sacks, Marie and I hugged and kissed them both goodbye in my living room. Marie looked just as forlorn and reluctant to let them go as I was. We stood there for a moment after the door closed

behind them, staring at each other in silence, feeling empty.

“That was the best night of my life,” she uttered. “Thank you for that.”

“I heard you scream a few times.”

Marie rolled her eyes, abashed. “I heard you, too.”

We gave each other a high-five, just because.

She yawned. “Well, I don’t know about you but I’m taking my broken vagina back to bed.” I watched her walk funny, doing the “I’ve been fucked hard” swagger down the hallway.

I shuffled behind her, feeling her pain echo in my own sore hips and thighs. “Yep. Me too.”

I crawled my achy body into my cold, empty bed, thinking about how much sleeping without Ryan sucked.

A few days later I was Skyping with Ryan when the separation hit me hard. “I hate being away from you.”

He tilted his head, studying me. “You don’t have to be, you know.”

I pulled my fingers back, as if his words had bite. “I know.”

He regarded me for a moment before turning his attention back to the documents in his hand. “Sell it.

Cut yourself free.”

As much as I’d thought about it there were several reasons why I couldn’t. “I can’t. Marie and Tammy rely on me, on this place. I can’t screw my friends like that. Besides, I need to work, Ryan. I’m not good with doing nothing or shopping every day.”

“I need you to manage my life,” he said simply.

“You just don’t want to deal with your mother,” I teased.

He scratched his head, distracted, seemingly frustrated. “That too.”

I frowned at his lack of attention, which then had me tapping my finger on the image of his face, as if that would do the trick.

He finally looked up. “Listen, parties, family gatherings, holidays, vacations, all of that personal stuff is in your realm, Taryn. She wants to throw an engagement party for us—fine. Work it out, block out the dates, and put it on the calendar, and then when you’re done with all of that explain to me what these numbers are on my investment statements because I can’t figure out how I could lose so much in one quarter.”

That was an easy one. “Your accountant sucks. Money needs to be managed, not resting in a coffee can until you have bills to pay. He should be making more strategic investments for you.”

“Well then, you need to fix this. I’m adding this shit to your wifely duties. You feel comfortable and you want to manage it, I’ll fire him. It’s that simple.”

As good as that made me feel, part of me was freaked that I might screw up. The fact that he trusted me with his millions was humbling. “If you want me to.”

He was all business, still reviewing documents. “I want you to, starting now. I’m emailing the files to you. Let’s get this shit straightened out because I am so not liking losing five fucking figures on market fluctuations.”

I could do that. “Okay. By the way, are you ever going to give me my debit card back?”

He didn’t bother to look up, simply saying, “No. And don’t ask again.”

I was startled by his abrupt, authoritative tone. “I seemed to remember you threatening punishment if I tried to steal it back.”

That got his attention. “You want to defy me?”

It was worth considering. “Maybe.”

His eyes heated with the challenge. “Just make sure your lovely ass is on a plane on Tuesday. I’ll deal with you then.”

“Trish is taking me dress shopping and then I’ve arranged for us to have dinner with Cal and Kelly Wednesday night.”

I watched the hint of a smile spread across his lips. I knew it pleased him that I was making ties within his circle of celebrity friends. “Good. Very good. They’ll be at the MTV Movie Awards, too. You nervous?”

This would be my first awards show—ever. I hadn’t really checked my nerves with everything else going on. Ryan looked over his shoulder. That’s when I saw Mike’s head flash in the background.

“Problem’s been contained,” Mike muttered. “Ten minutes.”

“Okay, thanks.” Ryan turned back to me. “You still flying back with me to Vancouver on Thursday?”

“What’s going on there? What problem?”

I could see him trying to decide whether or not to share. “Some overly enthusiastic fans got onto the set. They were mingled in with some of the extras. We had to take a break from filming to sort it all out.”

My skin prickled. “Are you in danger?”

“No.”

For some reason I didn’t believe him. “Would you tell me if you were?”

My eyes met his on the screen. “I’m not in danger, babe. I don’t need you worrying for nothing.”

I was just about to argue when Marie came in, carrying an enormous bouquet of red roses in a clear crystal vase. “Someone got flowers.” She beamed at me.

I smiled widely at him, deeply touched that he’d do something so sweet. “Ryan! God, they’re beautiful.” I shoved my nose into one of the open blooms, savoring the fresh smell. “Thank you.”

He appeared confused, then pissed. “I’d like to take credit, but I didn’t send you flowers. Who the hell is sending you flowers?”

I opened the card and read it out loud.

Dear Taryn,

I know you don’t know me but I am a huge fan and I hope these flowers brighten your day. I thought this might encourage you as well . . . “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Have a wonderful day lovely lady!

Jeremy

I suddenly felt sick. Ryan’s murderous glare was enough to make me go pale. “You don’t leave the house without an escort. Ever. Got me?” He yelled over his shoulder for Mike.

“I can’t live in fear, Ryan,” I muttered, annoyed that my once-peaceful oblivion was now convoluted by psychopaths and unknown birth certificates. I pushed the vase off to the side as if it were a ticking bomb.

I knew he was angry; that much was evident. “The shit is coming to your house, Taryn. To your damn door.” He dialed someone on his phone and seconds later, Mike rushed into Ryan’s trailer. After briefing him, Ryan asked for Marie. He made her read the card, out loud. “She doesn’t go outside without someone by her side—ever.”

I was mad, disgusted. Stupid flowers, sequestering me to my own home, making me feel as if I were a prisoner.

I was on the telephone with Andrea, who works for Ryan’s agent, ironing out my travel arrangements to L.A. for the MTV Movie Awards next week when someone pounded on the apartment door, startling the crap out of me.

I was relieved to hear Tammy’s voice answer back. I opened the door to see her standing there, visibly shaken. I had heard her down in the kitchen, but it was barely noon so I had no idea what had her so frantic.

“They just took Pete to the hospital,” she sobbed. “He dropped me off this morning so I don’t have a car.”

I yelled for Marie and grabbed my purse and keys.

“He fell off a roof. That’s all I know,” Tammy said as we rushed down the alley to my car.

Marie gave me a concerned look, knowing I was violating Ryan’s direct order.

“He said I don’t go out alone. He didn’t specify with whom.” I really didn’t care about my safety; I was more worried about Pete.

Tammy hopped in the front seat. “What’s going on?”

Marie climbed into the back. “Oh nothing. Just the usual whack-jobs stalking Taryn. Someone sent her roses yesterday.”

I didn’t want to think about it for too long or else I’d be inclined to run and hide in my closet with the baseball bat. “It’s nothing. Just flowers.”

“It’s creepy as shit,” Marie muttered.

I drove as fast as I could to the emergency room, knowing Tammy was beside herself. We were all fraught with worry. The three of us stormed through the automatic doors at St. Luke’s and into the large waiting room.

I saw the color drain out of Tammy’s cheeks when the girl behind the desk asked if Tammy was immediate family. Her fear for the unknown, thinking the worst, mirrored mine.

“Go.” I gave Tammy’s elbow a nudge for her to follow the nurse. Marie and I found an empty corner of the waiting room.

“God, I hope he’s all right,” Marie uttered, scrolling through her cell.

I shoved my keys in my purse, beating back my worry for Pete. Hopefully we’d hear something soon.

“Did you talk to Tammy this morning?”

She shook her head and concentrated on her phone. “What am I supposed to say to her? I guess I’ll just bow out of being in the wedding, since Gary seems to be hell-bent on staying a groomsman. You know what pisses me off? He hates weddings. We almost didn’t get married because he didn’t want a big wedding. You remember that? He’s doing this crap out of spite. I know it. I don’t know what I ever saw in him.”

“Doesn’t matter much now, does it?” I nodded at her thumbs, busy texting to Mike again.

Marie gave a wry smile and snapped her phone shut. “He’s pretty incredible. I’m trying not to mess this up.”

I gazed at the Weather Channel on the waiting room television. “I wish you could go with me to L.A.”

“Yeah, me too. I hate that you’re doing all of this world traveling without me.” Her eyes cut over to me. “I miss him.”

I could hear the longing in her voice. “Can I ask you something?”

She met my glance.

“What are your thoughts about managing the bar full-time?”

She looked away, shaking her head as if she didn’t like the idea. “You know, if you would have asked me that five months ago, I would have jumped at the chance. Now?” Marie shrugged. “I never thought I’d be twenty-eight and going through a divorce. Sometimes I want to run from this town and never look back.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Besides you and my dad there’s not much else holding me here.”

I nodded. “You and that bar are the only things keeping me here,” I said. “I can’t . . . I can’t be in two places at once and I definitely know I wouldn’t be able to trust the pub to just anyone. And you and Tammy . . . I can’t sell it. I won’t do that to you.”

“You can’t worry about us. You have to do what’s right for you.” She sat quietly for a moment. “We’d need to hire more staff to replace you. You know I can run the pub, but, honestly Tar, I’m not sure I want to anymore. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking myself wondering what I’m going to do next.”

I knew exactly how she felt. She and I had fallen into a rut where keeping the bar running after my father died was almost like a moral obligation.

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

She seemed reluctant to share. “Well, Mike mentioned that there’s a huge demand for female bodyguards. A lot of celebrities are using females in their security detail now. I don’t know. I’d have to learn self-defense and do some weapons training first but . . . He’s been trying to convince me to give it a try.”

“That something you’d be interested in doing?”

“Well, it sounds really intriguing and he’s even willing to train me, so . . . Gary said I was a bitch; might as well get paid to be a professional one.”

Surprisingly, I wasn’t overly stunned. Marie was lithe but fierce at the core. What did surprise me was her newfound fire for doing something completely different.

“You can be my bodyguard,” I teased jokingly, but as I said it, I thought about how cool it would be if she were.

“Well, yeah. I was actually thinking that. You seem to attract a whole lotta crazy.”

We both snickered at that until the realization that I had no defense skills of my own trickled in.

“I don’t know if Mike and I have a future,” she continued, shirking it off, “but with or without him there’s so much more world to see than just the inside of the pub. You’re traveling and seeing places, Mike has been all around the freakin’ globe . . . I just want—more. This thing with Gary? It’s been brewing for a long time. And now . . . well, I just want to cut my losses and move on.”

I saw the desire in her eyes, and wished she had been with me in Paris; none of that embarrassing nonsense would have gone down if she’d been with me. “Are you seriously considering it?”

She nodded and then her shoulders slumped. “I think I’d be real good at it. But it doesn’t matter what I want. There are courses I’d have to take and Mike told me about this four-week certification program that a friend of his runs. Problem is, I don’t have the money or the time. And the last thing I want is for Mike to view me as a career clinger.”

I’d sell the bar before I’d let her give up hope. We’d been to hell and back and I’d give anything to see her happy again. I dug out my phone and called Mike. He answered on the third ring.

Marie was still glaring at me when I hung up. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

I tried to defuse her with the same admonishing glare. “You want to get out of Seaport or not?”

“Yes, but you just tossed that on him. Of course he wouldn’t say no. He’s going to think I’m a whack job.”

Her mouth snapped shut when I smiled at her. “He was very enthusiastic so quit worrying.” I texted Ryan, telling him Pete was in the hospital. “Besides, the man nailed you for six hours straight. I’m pretty sure that allows you to ask a favor or two.”

“That was just sex,” she muttered. “I’m not reading anything into it.”

“I don’t think so. He’s smitten.”

She twisted her lips at my word. “I’ve had guys smitten before. It never lasts. Once they get into your pants it’s just a matter of time until the novelty wears off. I’m actually surprised it hasn’t happened already. He’ll sleep with some other girls soon and then I’ll be a distant memory, so I’m not getting my hopes up.”

I frowned at her doubt but I totally knew how she felt.

“And what happens when Ryan doesn’t need him anymore? He’ll have to find other clients. He can’t drag his girlfriend around in a suitcase . . . well, unless he buys one of those inflatable ones, although I highly doubt he’d ever go plastic.”

I chuckled. “He is a damn good-looking man.”

“That he is. Looks even better naked.” She grinned.

“Is he being weird or anything since? You seem happy, so I guess he hasn’t turned into a flaming asshole yet.”

“No.” She laughed modestly. “He’s been super-sweet. Almost too good to be true sometimes.”

“He calls you all the time.”

She was glowing with that look of dreamy love. “I know.”

I read Ryan’s reply, asking me to fill him in once I knew Pete’s condition. “Then quit your worrying.”

She huffed. “But then you’ll be strapped.”

“I won’t be strapped. It will all work out.”

I practically jumped out of my seat when Tammy came through the double doors. Her face was ashen and worried. “Is he?” I started, not sure of what to ask. I handed a tissue to her.

Her hand shook when she pushed her hair behind her ear. “He’s awake but he’s banged up pretty bad.

He just had an MRI and now they’re taking him for X-rays. He’s got a big lump on his forehead. His left arm is definitely broken and his knee and ankle are all swollen. The doctor wants to make sure that he doesn’t have any internal bleeding or swelling since he hit his head. They said he was unconscious for a bit on the job site.”

I wrapped my arm around her back, guiding her to sit down for a moment. “What happened?”

Tammy wiped the corners of her eyes. “Apparently he was carrying a pack of shingles and slipped. He fell like eight feet.”

Marie grabbed the box of tissues that was on the table in the waiting room and took the seat next to her. “He’ll be all right. He’s tough.”

It took about an hour, but I was relieved when we were finally able to visit with him. I almost wanted to cry seeing him bandaged up with a big white cast on his arm. Pete gave me a weak smile, as if he were embarrassed. I slipped my hand into his and he squeezed my fingers while I tried not to think about how bad this day could have been.

The large purple lump on his forehead and a few cuts near his eye were frightening reminders of how things could have turned from broken bones to tragedy.