Текст книги "Inflame"
Автор книги: Tessa Teevan
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 24 страниц)
When Kale left, I tried to tell myself I was ready for a relationship, but when it came down to it, I kept avoiding it. I tell myself I need to give Aidan a chance, and I let the irritation fade, ready to give in.
“You totally took advantage of me when I was at my weakest,” I tease, deciding to just get used to the fact that I’m now someone’s girlfriend.
“Can you blame me? You’ve been dodging it for weeks, Lucy. I want the whole world to know you’re mine. Everyone should know how lucky I am that you’re my girl.” He says the words playfully, but I don’t miss the undertone of jealousy, and I know exactly who he’s thinking of.
As much as he wants the label, he wants Kale to know even more. I’m not happy he used my social media to pee all over me like I’m his own personal fire hydrant, letting all others know to stay away, but for now, I just let it go and continue to wonder what the hell kind of mess I’ve gotten myself into.
Chapter 10
April 2013
Lucy
“I’M GOING to fucking kill him,” Charlie seethes as she does another shot of tequila. “No, better yet, I’m not going to kill him. I’m going to sneak into his bedroom, cut his damn dick off, then let him live. It’ll be a long, slow, boring, sexless, dickless life, and I’ll send him copies of all his favorite porn videos to watch, but then he won’t be able to jack off. It’ll be the sweetest kind of torture for that cock-sucking, janitor-fucking son of a bitch.”
The bartender’s eyes widen as he pours her another drink before he backs away quickly, probably afraid of getting caught up in Charlie’s wrath. Smart man.
I look at Charlie, amazed that she’s not crying her eyes out right now. Earlier today, she called me, ranting and raving about how she needed a place to stay. When I met her at my place, she was already seeing red. Apparently, soon-to-be Dickless Drew couldn’t keep it in his pants when the cleaning lady was around, and like every dumbass male who thinks with his penis rather than his brain—or his heart—he got caught. I’m not sure what Drew was thinking either. If you fuck someone else while your fiancée works a hundred yards away, you’re begging for her to catch you. Either way, previously engaged Charlie is now murderous, raging Charlie and I don’t blame her one bit.
Her phone buzzes for the hundredth time since we’ve been here, and her eyes blaze when she sees that it’s Drew, again, just as it’s been every other time it’s rang.
“Fucking hell,” she breathes, and before I can stop her, she’s reaching for the phone. “I’m sorry, if you’re looking for Molly Maids, you’ve dialed the wrong number. Please hang up and try your call again in five minutes. Or better yet, how about never?” She hangs up on him and turns her phone off before sliding it into her purse, apparently done with his incessant phone calls.
I can’t help the giggle that escapes as she signals the bartender for another drink. If I don’t get her home soon, it’s going to be a cab-sharing kind of night, but if that’s what she needs to help take away the sting of Drew’s betrayal even for a little bit, then that’s perfectly fine with me. This is why I hate relationships. They’re messy, heartbreaking, and even when you think everything’s going just fine, the rug can be pulled out from under you when you least expect it.
“What are you going to do Charlie? You know you can stay with me for the rest of the school year until my lease is up if you want. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you no matter what,” I offer, placing my hand over hers.
Clearly that was the wrong thing to say because her lip starts to quiver and I’m afraid the waterworks I’ve been waiting for are about to appear. She bites down on her lip and gives a thankful smile to the bartender when he sets the beer down in front of her. Taking a long swallow, she sighs and stares at the television, not looking at me.
“You mean besides cut off his penis so he can never use it again? I don’t know, Lucy. To be honest, I don’t even want to think about it. Right now, I just want to drink enough to forget for at least tonight. I can’t get the image of him banging her right there on his desk out of my mind. I swear, I can still see the shock in his eyes when I opened the door, and I’m going to go insane if I don’t erase the memory of it.” Her voice catches on the last sentence.
A single tear trickles down her face, and I know it’s not going to be long before the floodgates open up. I signal for the check, knowing she’ll want to have privacy for her impending breakdown.
Placing my arm around her shoulders, I pull her into me, and she rests her head on my shoulder. “You’re strong, you’re beautiful, and you’ll get through this. I promise. That’s all I’ll say tonight. Let’s go home. I have a bottle of tequila, a box of wine, and a huge Mark Wahlberg collection just waiting to be watched. How does that sound?”
“Can we stop for Rocky Road? No pity party wallowing session is complete without it,” she says, and right now, I’ll do anything she asks just to keep her spirits up.
“Lucky for you, I already have a pint in the freezer. Come on, Charlie. It’s time for PJs, booze, and Marky Mark.”
She gives me a small smile when I hop up from my stool. Grabbing her hand, I lead my best friend out to the car, wishing there were something more I could do to help heal her breaking heart.
I WAS right in the timing of Charlie’s breakdown. We were watching The Fighter, and something must’ve reminded her of Drew because it instantly set her off. One minute she was talking about how hot Mark is and the next she was sobbing on the couch, clutching the bottle of tequila like it was her only lifeline.
Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her as she cries. Her heartbreak is so deep, her sobs so gut-wrenching, that I can’t help but shed a few tears myself.
She pulls back and wipes her eyes even though tears are still coming. “I just don’t understand, Lucy. Why? Why would he do this? We were supposed to get married! How do you go from spending the rest of your lives together to cheating before you even make it to the altar? There was nothing wrong with our sex life. We just had sex last night! Oh my God. What if that wasn’t the first time? What if he gave me something? I’m going to have to get tested now. How freaking embarrassing!” she screeches. Somehow Charlie’s now alternating between anger and tears, and I’m not sure how to handle her.
A loud knock sounds at the door, and we both look at each other with matching startled expressions. I can only hope that it’s Aidan, though no man should probably be in the vicinity of Charlie right now. Unfortunately Drew’s voice follows the knock.
“Charlotte, I know you’re in there! Answer the door, please!” He sounds desperate, as he should, and even though he’s the ultimate asshole right now, I give him credit for chasing after her. But something tells me it’s a little too late. He probably should’ve done that before he finished having sex with that chick right in front of his fiancée.
I look over at Charlie and she shakes her head, placing a finger to her lips. Drew keeps pounding on the door as we sit there in silence, and every so often, I hear her sniff. My phone buzzes and I see that I have a text from Aidan.
I’m out here with Drew. Luce, he’s wasted off his ass and insisted I bring him here. Please just let us in for a minute.
I hand my phone to Charlie, and she sighs as she reads the text.
“He won’t leave until I talk to him. And I don’t want him waking your neighbors.” She takes a long swig from the tequila bottle, wipes her eyes, and stands up, looking like a girl on a mission. “Go let him in.”
“Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly, knowing this won’t end well.
She nods. “The sooner it’s over with, the sooner I can heal, right? Just don’t leave me, okay?” I give her shoulder a squeeze as I reassure her that I won’t.
When I open the door, I have to jump back as Drew rushes past me. Aidan rubs the back of his neck and gives me a sheepish look.
“He’s such a fucking idiot. I know I shouldn’t have brought him here, but he threatened to drive himself and he’s in no shape to do that.”
“Don’t worry about it. This was going to happen sooner or later. I just can’t believe he’d do this to her. What the fuck was he thinking?” I ask, but it’s a rhetorical question that neither of us can answer.
I pull Aidan inside and he follows as I walk towards the living room so I can be with Charlie. Sister solidarity and all. The sight stops me when I enter the room. Charlie’s standing there stock-still with Drew before her on his knees, his arms circled around her legs. It’s actually both pathetic and heartbreaking, and if I’m not mistaken, he’s crying against her. Aidan sits in a far corner and pulls out his phone, clearly uncomfortable with the scene before us. I kind of feel the same way.
“Charlotte, please come home. I’m so sorry, baby. It was a mistake. I’ll never do it again. I swear it on my soul,” Drew pleads.
Tears start to form in Charlie’s eyes, but she closes them, takes a deep breath, and then pulls herself out of Drew’s hold. “You’re right, Drew. You’ll never do it again to me because you’ll never get the chance.”
My heart plummets as I watch her pull the engagement ring off her finger and hold it out for him. Even though he royally fucked up, I feel like a voyeur watching their relationship end like this. She hits the last nail in the coffin, and it’s almost unbearable.
“It’s over.”
He quickly rises to his feet and moves to grab her, but she steps back and holds her hand out, stopping him.
“No, baby, don’t say that. You’re upset and shouldn’t make rash decisions right now. You can’t throw away three years together in just one night!”
Charlie balls her fists at her sides, and I can tell she’s trying to maintain her composure. “Again, you’re right. I can’t,” she sighs, and relief floods his face, but it’s short-lived. “You can and you already did.”
“Charlotte—” he starts, but she cuts him off.
“Stop. Please just stop. I’m exhausted and I’m not discussing this anymore tonight. Aidan, please take him home.” She turns towards me. “Thanks for everything, Luce. I’m going to bed now.”
Before anyone can respond, she turns and leaves the room. Drew’s crestfallen face is almost too much, and I have to remind myself that he cheated on my best friend only hours ago.
“Lucy, you have to help me. Talk some sense into her. I can’t lose her,” he pleads, but I’m not falling for it.
“I don’t have to do shit, Drew. You made your own damn bed. Now you have to freaking lie in it. I think it’s best if you please leave.”
Raking his hand through his hair, he sighs and starts to walk down the hallway, but not before punching the wall with enough force that it causes the drywall to crack. It surprises me, because Drew’s always been on the calmer side, and I wince when I see the blood trickle down his hand. Without looking back, he stumbles down the hall and out of my apartment.
“These weren’t the circumstances I wanted to see you under, but I’m glad to see you either way. I missed you,” Aidan whispers as he pulls me into a hug.
I’m not sure how he can say that after we just watched our best friends break up. Being wrapped up in hug with him while Charlie’s heart is breaking just a few yards away feels wrong.
I remove myself from his embrace and give him a sad smile. “It’s only been two days, crazy,” I tell him.
He presses his forehead to mine, seemingly not fazed by what just happened. “Two days too many. I wish you’d consider moving in with me after your lease is up,” he says, reminding me of the offer he gave last week.
“Aidan, I’m not—we’re not—ready for that. Plus, Charlie will probably be with me until I leave for the summer. And there’s that. Who knows what’ll happen while I’m gone.”
His face falls, and I realize I just said the wrong thing. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you planning on seeing other people while you’re down there?”
I shake my head. “No, no, nothing like that. That’s not what I meant. I just meant that three months is a really long time to be apart and I wouldn’t expect you to wait for me. If, you know, you met someone. That’s all.”
“Lucy, I don’t plan on meeting anyone. You know how much I care about you. I don’t want anyone else, no matter how long you’re gone.”
Sighing, I know this conversation will go nowhere tonight. “Look, it’s been a long night and you need to get Drew home. We can talk about this later, okay?”
He looks like he’s about to protest, so I lean up and place a soft kiss on his lips. Once I’ve led him towards the door, we say goodbye. Then I pour myself a drink before making my way to my room but stop when I hear Charlie’s sobs through her door. Slowly, I open it, my eyes falling on the bed, where she’s curled up in a ball. After setting my glass on the nightstand, I lift the covers and climb in behind her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry it out. Hot tears fill my own eyes as her shoulders shake with her sobs, and I wish, more than anything, that I could take the pain away.
Once she’s calmed down a little, she turns towards me and grabs ahold of my hand.
“I can stay here ‘til you leave?” she asks, and I nod.
“As long as you need, Charlie. But are you sure? It’s completely over?”
I have no idea how she must be feeling right now. When Noah and I broke up, sure, I was sad, but we both knew the relationship had run its course and forever wasn’t ever in our future. With Charlie, she was already planning their wedding and looking through baby name books.
“It has to be, Lucy. He crossed a line when he cheated, and if I stay with him, I’ll constantly wonder what he’s doing, who he’s with. I can’t live like that. I don’t even want to think about moving on, but if and when I do, it has to be with someone who wants me and only me. Someone who makes me his whole world, who can’t breathe at the thought of losing me. That’s the type of man I deserve to marry, Lucy, and while it’s going to hurt for a while, one of these days, I’ll be back on my feet and pray to God that he finds me. One of these days.”
The strength in her words should shock me, but they really don’t. That’s Charlie, and if anyone can get out of this unscathed and maybe only a little broken, it’s her.
Chapter 11
Kale
I’M FINALLY on my last mission before I’m headed back to the States, and I couldn’t be happier. Listening to McAllister and Wellington argue over the merits of relationships has me thinking about Lucy’s earlier email, where she complained about cheating assholes and why relationships suck. Charlie’s a pretty kickass chick, and I hate that her douchebag fiancé did that to her. Lucy went on a long-winded tirade about why she avoids dating and love is stupid and she’s probably going to end up an old cat lady—which made me laugh because she’s allergic and can’t even adopt one. I’m pretty sure if she were here right now, she’d be on Team Wellington’s Camp of “fuck relationships,” and I wonder how things are going with her boyfriend or whatever the hell he is. I catch the tail end of Wellington’s sentence and now I don’t blame the guy for his relationship stance. You never fuck another man’s woman—especially your brother’s. That’s some messed-up bullshit.
While McAllister gets razzed about starting at his girl’s picture, I discreetly pull out a slip of paper from my pocket, unfold it, and re-read her words just like I’ve done on every other mission. When I initially read the response to my feelings email, my heart wanted to plummet and soar at the same time. On the one hand, she admitted she had feelings for me, too. On the other, she confirmed that she was dating that guy. I’ve wanted to punch myself in the face a hundred times since then, knowing I should’ve locked down a girl like Lucy Dawson before I boarded the plane for Afghanistan. I just hope when I get home that there’s a chance for us to be…something. A couple? Friends with benefits again? Casual dating? I don’t care what the label is. I just know that I have to have her in my life in any way, shape, or form.
“Montgomery, outta the vehicle,” McAllister orders, breaking my trance.
I peek my head out the window and check the ground, making sure I’m not going to trigger any pressure plates the moment I step out. It’s all clear, so I exit and continue to do a perimeter check, going twenty-five meters out.
“All clear,” I holler and hear three more echoes confirming the same thing.
The rest of the team gets out of the MRAP, and McAllister and Wellington don their bomb suits. We form a perimeter around the suspicious package. I’m the closest to the guys, and I watch as they approach it. I can feel my heart racing the same way it does every time we’re dispatched out on a call. Even though I’m not the one defusing the possible bomb this time, I still find myself holding my breath as I watch their advance.
I look up into the Hindu Kush Mountains, scanning the nearby hillside for anything out of place. Wellington must catch the glint the same moment I do, because he’s warning McAllister at the same time that I rush towards them, wanting to warn them without alerting the terrorist that I spotted him. Even though I know my fight or flight should be kicking in right about now, I can’t help it. I’ve gotta get my guys out of there, but I’m too fucking late.
As soon as I see McAllister pressing a hand to his ear and asking, “What?” to Wellington, the bomb detonates and sends them both flying in the air. I’m thrown back and slammed into the MRAP, feeling a crack in my pelvis as I fall to the ground. Shrapnel flies all around us, and I can feel it cutting into my skin, but I ignore it. Reaching for my radio, I frantically call out to anyone who’s listening as I low crawl towards the guys. Pain spreads throughout my body with each movement, but I keep going, knowing they have it worse than I do.
When I reach Wellington, I see that he’s unconscious, and a bone is sticking out of his skin on his left arm. Bile rises in my throat at the sight, but I swallow it down, knowing I need to get him help. I can see Taylor tending to McAllister, and I pray to motherfucking God that these two make it.
“I NEED A FUCKING MEDIC! NOW! GOD DAMMIT!” I scream, not caring if the fuckers hiding on the side of the hill hear me.
Leaning down, I check Wellington’s pulse and his airway, thankful for the damn ABCs they pushed down our throats in training. Airway. Breathing. Circulation. Thank fuck he has a pulse, but his breathing is ragged and shallow. I pull myself up onto my knees so I can survey the rest of his injuries.
Before I know what’s happening, I hear sniper fire ring out, and suddenly my shoulder is on fire as a bullet rips through me. The force of it throws me down next to Wellington, and as I try to get back up, I hear more shots. Holy fuck. Forcing myself to turn over onto my stomach, I’m about to latch my arms around him so I can pull him into cover behind the MRAP when I hear the glorious sounds of whirling helicopter blades approaching.
Minutes later, I’m standing, watching as McAllister and Wellington are both loaded onto stretchers and taken away by medevac. The field medic starts to dress my shoulder when I collapse to my knees. Dizziness rolls through me as the pain from the gunshot reverberates through my body.
“Montgomery, you’ve lost too much blood, God dammit. Get the fucking medevac back here ASA-FUCKING-P,” he yells into the radio.
Black dots start to blur my vision, and the voices around me become fuzzy. Blinking profusely, I shake my head, trying to stay awake, but it’s no fucking use. As I slump down in the sand, the last thing I hear is the whir of the helicopter again, and as I close my eyes, I thank God for the damn choppers.
Lucy
“JESUS, LUCY, can you put the damn phone down for one fucking meal?” Aidan hisses across the table.
I grimace as I see the ‘0 New Messages’ in my Gmail account when it refreshes. Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath, trying not to freak out. It’s been over two weeks since I’ve heard from Kale, the longest he’s ever been out of touch. I’ve been obsessively checking my email and social media outlets for the past ten days. The first couple of days with silence weren’t unusual. Sometimes he gets stuck out in the field and can’t get back in touch, but this is different. I can feel it. Something’s wrong, and I’ve been barely holding it together. If it weren’t for Charlie, I’d probably have lost my mind already.
I should feel guilty for being on my phone all throughout dinner, but I’m too worried to feel anything else. Since Charlie’s been staying with me, I’ve barely been able to see Aidan, and this was supposed to be our date night. I’ve messed it all up by being distant, and I can tell he’s in a sour mood. With one last look, I lock my phone and throw it in my purse, ready to give Aidan my undivided attention, but apparently I’m too late. His mood doesn’t change and we sit in an awkward silence as we both finish our meals.
“So Drew said Charlie still won’t answer his calls. Lucy, he made a mistake. Can’t you talk some sense into her?”
My blood boils at his question, and I can’t believe he’d defend Drew. In fact, I can’t believe he’d expect me to go to bat for the cheating asshole.
Throwing my napkin down on my plate, I glare at him. “He cheated on her, Aidan. Not only that, but he kept freaking going when she walked in! What kind of asshole does that? Your cousin, that’s who. So no, I’m not going to talk any sense into her. She’s doing the same thing I’d do in her situation, and that’s kick his ass to the curb.”
He pulls his card out of his wallet to pay the check then looks back at me. “You don’t believe in second chances? Everyone makes mistakes, Lucy. Not everything is cut and dry.”
I narrow my eyes at him, unable to believe that he’s actually sticking up for Drew. I know they’re family and all, but come on. Call a cheating prick a cheating prick. “Some things deserve second chances and some things are unforgiveable. Fucking another person when you’re engaged to be married is unforgiveable! How can you even sit here and act like it’s okay?”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m not saying it’s okay. I’m just saying that sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. She won’t even let Drew apologize. I guess I just don’t get how you can go from being in love with someone to being adamantly done with them.”
I shake my head at his ridiculousness. What is so hard to understand? “Yeah, well I guess I don’t understand how you can claim to love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and then turn around and fuck the cleaning lady!” I’m practically screeching, and I don’t miss the way the woman at the table next to us gasps. I cringe, knowing she probably thinks I’m talking about Aidan.
He quickly fills out the tab, and we make our way out of the restaurant. The car is silent on the ride back to my place, and the tension between us grows thicker with every passing mile. I can’t believe he thinks so little of Drew’s cheating, and it makes me wonder if he’d do the same thing. Not wanting to think about it, I shake the thoughts out of my head. I’m a month away from leaving for the summer, and I realize in that moment that I could care less if Aidan ends up with someone else while I’m gone.
My phone buzzes, and I frantically dig through my purse as my heart races, hoping it’s Kale. My heart sinks when I see that it’s just Charlie letting me know she’s staying at her dad’s for the night. Since I have my phone out, I check my email again, but there’s nothing there. I hear Aidan let out a loud sigh, and I lean my head against the window, not saying another word.
When we get to my place, he follows me inside and watches as I go through my mail, stupidly hoping for something, anything from Kale. At this point, I’d take any type of contact because I’m starting to lose my mind. He’s supposed to be home in a few weeks, and the thought of something happening to him so close to leaving Afghanistan is a thought I can barely stomach. When I see that I have nothing from him, my heart falls, and I’m almost ready to lose it.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Aidan asks, and I can only assume he sees the stress of my face.
“What’s wrong with me?! My best friend is freaking in Afghanistan and I haven’t heard from him in two freaking weeks. Two, three days is normal, but not two weeks. I’ve been trying not to think the worst, but I’m kind of starting to freak out!” I’m seething, and I know I probably sound like a lunatic.
“Him? Again? Seriously, Lucy? Is that why you haven’t let your phone leave your hand every single time we’re together?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
I know how it sounds, but he just doesn’t understand. Not hearing from Kale is killing me. The worst scenarios have been playing through my mind over and over, getting worse as each day passes.
“He’s my best friend besides Charlie, Aidan. He’s at freaking war. Of course I’m worried about him!”
Before he can respond, my phone buzzes again. I run to the counter to grab it, but Aidan catches it first. His eyes narrow as he looks at the screen before he hands the phone to me. It’s another text from Charlie, and I don’t understand what his problem is until I realize that he saw the background photo—one of Kale and me taken right before he left. It’s actually the last picture we took together, and I remember the way we laughed as we did one last selfie shot before he deployed. I can’t help the lone tear that falls, and Aidan doesn’t miss the reaction the photo caused.
He crosses to me and uses a thumb to wipe it away. Cupping my face, he forces me to look at him.
“Lucy, is there something going on between you and him? Is he the reason you’ve held back from me for so long? Or are you really just friends like you claim to be?”
I’ve been waiting for this question for so long, but even the anticipation hasn’t helped me come up with a proper answer. My head falls, and I know that this is about to be the end of Aidan and me. Before he lets me answer, he takes my hand and leads me to the couch.
I can’t bring myself to look at him, and I chastise myself, having known that this was going to happen eventually.
He lifts my chin again, making me look at him. “Lucy…” he whispers, and I close my eyes, not wanting this to happen but knowing it has to. “This isn’t going anywhere, is it?”
I want to tell him that he’s wrong, but deep down, I know he’s not. A part of me saddens from knowing that I’m about to say goodbye to Aidan, but Kale’s still in the back of my mind, and I’m still trying not to mentally freak out about not knowing where he is.
Looking up at him, I meet his eyes, knowing that I owe him that much. “I…don’t think so, Aidan.” I tightly close my eyes, trying to figure out what to say. When I open them back up, I see his sad eyes staring into mine. “I care about you. I really do. And I love spending time with you. But at the end of the day, I find myself thinking about someone else. And that’s unfair to you. I know I’m a total asshole for leading you on, but I promise you, Aidan, my feelings for you are real, and when we started dating, I thought I was ready for this. I guess I was just fooling myself. Right now, all I can focus on is the fact that he’s missing, and every moment I’m with you, I’m thinking of him, worrying about where he is and why I haven’t heard from him.”
I wish I could shut myself up. I can’t believe I just said that to him. And with the way he’s looking at me, I don’t think he can either.
He stands up from the couch, separating himself from me. I watch as he paces a few times, rubbing his hand over his hair. Finally, he stops to look back at me. His chest heaves as he takes a deep breath.
“You know, Lucy, I appreciate your honesty, but it would’ve been nice to have known this months ago instead of letting you waste my time. You think Drew’s such a bad guy? Look in the mirror. Sure, you may not have fucked anyone else behind my back, but you sure did fuck with my heart. Is there really a lesser of two evils?”
The impact of his words hits me like a ton of bricks, and I know he’s right. As much as I’ve admonished Drew, am I really any better than him? Looking up, I see him watching me, and I hesitate, which is all he needs to continue.
“That’s what I thought. Lucy, I want to be with you, but I can’t accept only part of you. It’s clear that I’ll never have all of you, and that just won’t work.” He scoffs, and I cringe, knowing that this is it. “I’d say it was fun while it lasted, but truth be told? I’m happy to get off this rollercoaster ride. I truly, sincerely hope he’s okay. And if he is? Get off your fucking ass and tell him how you feel so you don’t put another guy through the ringer and make him goddamn miserable the way you’ve done me.”
“Aidan—” I start, but he holds his hand up, causing me to shut up.
“Lucy, there’s really nothing left to say. I should’ve seen this coming all along. Take care of yourself,” he says, and without another thought, he quietly exits my apartment.
Sinking back into my couch, I reflect on what just happened. Strangely, relief washes over me, and I know that Aidan was right. I was so unfair to him, and this was going to end eventually. I just wish I’d done it much sooner, especially when Kale mentioned that he cared about me.
My thoughts drift to him, and panic flows through my veins. Something’s wrong, and with each day that passes, I grow more terrified when I don’t hear from him. The thought of losing Kale is nearly unbearable, and as if it’s a sign, all thoughts of Aidan evaporate, leaving me to wonder why I ever thought I was ready for this, to let anyone in my heart when I don’t even know what it wants.
