Текст книги "The Girl of Sand & Fog"

Автор книги: Susan Ward

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

 

 

CHAPTER 13

An unrelenting sensation between my legs coaxes me from a dream to wakefulness. I push back into the warmth behind me and realize it isn’t just my naughty subconscious getting me hot for Bobby again.

His warm flesh is all around me. His face is tucked beneath my hair, chin resting on my shoulder and his breath is tickling my cheek. One arm is around me, pushing up against my breasts, and the other is lying on the pillow above my head. The surface of his chest is like fire rocks against my back, my ass is tucked into the bend of his groin, and there is definitely something I want, hard and teasing, between my legs.

I open my eyes to find the room still dark and the candles burned low. It may not be morning, but I don’t care. I don’t know how long we slept, but I’m so ready to fuck him again. Very sexual relationship about to commence.

I carefully turn in his arms to find him fast asleep. The strong features of his face are relaxed, those delicious lips parted slightly, his sun-streaked hair a mess, and that perfectly sculptured chest barely moves from the soundness of his breathing.

I shake my head. What kind of guy has a body like that and has fucked only one girl at eighteen? No, not fucked. Made love to with such sweet care.

He’s so beautiful when he sleeps—no, Kaley, he’s beautiful always, inside and out.

I touch his cheek, happy he doesn’t wake. I thought I knew him so well before yesterday, but I don’t think I do. Maybe you don’t really start getting to know a guy until after you’ve had sex with him.

Something tells me I’ve not even scratched the surface of Bobby. But I definitely want to know everything about him. My heart is so hungry it feels as if nothing is ever going to be enough with him.

He’s so honest and intelligent—definitely fantastic in the sexual department—and good. It’s an underrated thing to be a good guy, as if being a jerk like Seth makes you the man. Not. Bobby definitely proves that one wrong. He’s definitely the dominant guy in this crew and he’s the farthest thing from jerk-like there is.

I slip my leg over his hip and ease into his body until his erection is back where it belongs. I could gaze at him all night—how could any guy look this good in sleep?—but I have needs.

I move into him further and place my lips on his neck, and the taste of him makes my body ruthlessly demand more. My mouth moves to his and I lift my pelvis up into him, flexing to stroke his erection with my more than eager clit. He starts moving against me—ah, that woke him—stroking my flesh as he changes the kiss, plundering me with his tongue as his erection starts pushing into me.

His breathing grows deep and ragged. He stops my hips and breaks the kiss.

“If this is not OK—if you’re sore—you better tell me now,” comes his breathy warning as he thrust his hips again.

I do feel something down there, the change in my body, a touch of soreness, but not enough to make me ignore the heat in my sex because most of all I can feel him.

He stills, waiting for me to answer. My lids flutter wide and he has that look again: feverish laced with tenderness and concern. Shit, would he really stop if I told him I hurt there? It’s not like it’s that bad…

I instantly close my mouth over his and that’s all it takes to get Bobby going in the direction I want him to. His tongue swirls around and around in my mouth and I’m losing all sense of self in his potent search at the apex of my thighs.

He slips a finger inside me as his mouth makes a rapid move to my breasts, the play of his tongue alternating with a blow of air between sucks and pinches on my nipple. A couple of teases of cock and I can no longer deny it. My body is his, crazy for him, and I want him in me, sore or not.

I’m panting and I hear his growling groans as his kisses start moving up my neck.

“Oh, baby, I love that you want this as much as I do.”

He does another tantalizing thrust against me and I shudder, vaguely aware that he’s ripping open foil. He breaks contact long enough to glove himself and then slowly eases into me. A twinge as he sinks himself deeply inside reminds me of my newly opened state but I moan because the feel of him filling me is too much and I want him to let go over and over again in my body.

I can’t imagine what it will feel like when Bobby really lets go. Over and over again until neither of us can take any more…

He starts to move, sweet and slow and gentle. I whimper.

“Is this OK?” he whispers raggedly.

Another cautious glide. My inner walls clench, sending a jolt down him. I make them tighten more and I feel his body go taut from the effort of holding back. Then he moves again, faster, harder and larger in me. It won’t take much to push him beyond his tightly leashed control.

I start moving more urgently against him, and we both lose ourselves in the demand of our bodies, our mouths devouring, our hands clutching and touching, his flesh plunging into me and me pushing him onward.

I’m so close to the edge.

“Come for me, Kaley,” he urges, his voice husky and raw as he pounds rapidly into me.

I explode around him.

“Oh fuck.” He moans then thrusts once, twice and reaches his climax, pressing me into him and holding me tightly against his shaking body.

He stills, his body rigid, and we both go limp and sink onto our pillows. I lie there, reeling from my orgasm as I watch him try to collect himself.

He adjusts me into his side, pulls off the condom, and lies quietly, eyes closed, gently caressing me. “I knew we’d be incredible together,” he murmurs. “But being with you is beyond anything I imagined it would be. I don’t even know what to call it.”

His words echo my thoughts.

“We belong to each other. You’re mine and I’m yours. That’s what this is.”

Bobby blinks rapidly, wide-eyed with emotion. “There’s nothing I want but you loving me.”

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him on the underside of his chin. “You already have that. I love you.”

He strokes his nose against mine. “Then can you stop pushing at me? I’m trying real hard not to hurt you this week. I saw you wince when I put it in. I need you to be honest with me. How bad did it hurt?”

My cheeks go red. “Only a little. But I liked it. It hurt in a good way.”

“For once can you try not to control something? Sometimes your obsessive need to control everything in your life hurts you, baby. I wish you could see that. And really, it’s better for us both if we don’t overdo it first thing. I don’t want you to hurt so badly you can’t do it at all. That would be a terrible waste of five days alone together, don’t you think?”

I peek up at him. “I don’t think that’s something we have to worry about.”

“I don’t want to test it.”

I take my lower lip between my teeth and stare at him.

He groans, shaking his head. “Stop looking at me that way, Kaley.”

“What way?” I ask innocently.

“Like you’re ready to jump me again.”

I tease his cock with fluttering fingertips. “I am ready to jump you again.”

He groans. “You’re not going to listen, are you?”

I run my tongue along his chest. “Nope. Did you really think I would?”

He folds me in his arms and starts kissing my curls. I start touching him, my hand moving lower and lower as I kiss his neck. I close around my target and he doesn’t stop me.

Whoa, it doesn’t take much until he’s hard in my fingers again. His lids shut and his hips are moving in time with my hand, even though his jaw is strained as if he’s willing himself not to respond.

I feel so powerful teasing him, and I can’t stop myself. My mouth closes on his and I feel that quickening sensation pulsing through him. Watching him is so arousing, seeing the hunger inside me mirrored on his face.

He’s mine and I’m his, and our bodies are going to do what they’re meant to do. Neither of us can control this.  And right now I want him.

*  *  *

Ding.

Who the hell is texting me? I open my eyes. It’s light outside. Only one person texts me this early in the morning.

Crap, I didn’t call Chrissie last night.

I push the hair from my face, reach for my phone on the nightstand, and sit up in bed. Damn, it’s after 11 a.m. I don’t want to call my mom, but I have to. If I don’t, she’ll call Mr. Kennedy, if she hasn’t already, and then busted.

Grimacing, I type in my password. Why am I alone? Where did Bobby go? I scroll through my messages. My eyes widen. Nothing from mom. Zoe. Zoe. Zoe. I open them.

Zoe: R U alive? Lots of interesting noises coming from your room last night. Hehe. J/K. Didn’t hear anything.

 

Zoe: Text me the second you wake.

 

Zoe: I’m sitting out here alone. Totally bored. Don’t leave me hanging. I need details.

 

Laughing, I collapse back on my pillow. Jeez, Zoe is such a goof. Why is she sitting out there alone? God, I hope things didn’t fall apart with Jake on the first night. That would make this week awkward.

I type a quick reply.

Me: Is Bobby out there?

 

Zoe: The guys went to get us breakfast. There’s definitely one happy guy in the crew today. Was it good? Was it awful? My first time sucked.

 

Blushing.

Me: Yep. Nope. Did things go good with Jake?

 

Zoe: Yep and nope.

I frown. What the heck does that mean?

Me: Give me five to call my mom then come tell me why no.

 

Zoe: I want your details first.

I turn onto my side, set the phone on Bobby’s pillow, hit call for Chrissie and then speaker. Ring. Ring. Ring. Voice mail. Thank you, God.

Beep. “Hi, Mom. Sorry I didn’t call you last night. I forgot, but I’m OK. Having fun. Don’t worry. I’ll call you tonight. Love you.”

I quickly swipe off, toss my phone onto the table, and let out a giant sigh of relief.

God, I’m glad I got voice mail.

I hate lying to my mother.

I hate more that I can’t be honest with her and she’s been semi-oblivious where I’m concerned for weeks.

What does she expect?

This shouldn’t surprise her.

I’m nearly eighteen.

I’m like the last girl in the senior class to do it.

Oh, but Bobby was definitely worth the wait.

Crap, I don’t want to feel guilty about lying to my mom.

Damn. I do feel a little guilty.

The bedroom door slowly inches open and in pops Zoe’s head. “Is it safe to come in?”

“You’re already in, Zoe.”

I pull the duvet up more securely over my butt-naked body as she hurries across the room and drops with a bounce on the bed, facing me.

The eyes fixed on me are enormous. “Well?”

I shrug. “Well what?”

She makes an aggravated growl, lying back on Bobby’s pillow beside me. “How was it? It was your first time. Tell me everything. It’s like a rule. You have to tell your best friend everything the first time you do it. You can’t leave out anything. It’s part of the girl code. Spill.”

“Are you going to tell me everything about Jake?”

Zoe’s brows shoot upward. “No. Jake wasn’t my first. But we’ll share my grim details later.” She makes a comic face, then laughs all bubbly again. “Was he any good? Bobby seems like he’d be good in bed. Was he?”

I just know she’s going to be tenacious about his and I’m not escaping without telling her something. But, crap, why does she have to be so blunt and invasive? If she wasn’t so sweet, it would bother me. And damn, I’m blushing.

She starts laughing, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “That good, huh?”

My cheeks grow hotter. “Good.”

She stares at me, intense and determined. “How many times?”

“Jeez, Zoe. Really? You’re asking me that?”

She nods. “I have a rating system. If you do it twice your first time, it was good. Three means fantastic.”

Oh, Zoe, if you only knew.

My eyes grow sparkly. “What does four mean?”

“Four? Really? That means you’re a freak of nature because you should hurt too much to do it four times the first night. I couldn’t stand the pain after my first time and I did it only once. But then my first time sucked. It was with that jerk Tommy Brander.”

I frown. “Tommy Brander?”

She shudders. “You know. He’s in our class. Short. Wrestler. He was drunk and got kind of rough. Such an asshole. At least he was quick.”

I wince in sympathy. Poor Zoe.

She stares at me pointedly.

Her brows crinkle.

“Bullshit. You and Bobby did not do it four times. You must think I’m so gullible. Nope, not falling for it. If you wanted not to tell me the details, you should have just said so.”

“Fine. I won’t say anything else.”

I try to hide my overly happy, tell-all smile.

Zoe groans. “This isn’t fair. I told you everything.”

I change course. “How many times did you do it with Jake last night?”

She frowns. “Once.”

I lean up on an elbow, studying her. “What happened?”

Zoe looks wistful. “It’s was OK. The sex was good. Pretty good. I came and that hardly ever happens with penetration.”

I curl on my side facing her, my nose close to her nose. “Then what’s wrong?”

She’s really bummed about something.

“Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Fat girls try harder’?” she asks, and then grimaces. “Let’s just say Jake expected me to try harder more than once last night.”

My temper spikes.

“You mean—” I break off.

“I hate it when guys push my head down and just think I’m going to give them a blowjob.”

What an asshole.

I spot Bobby’s t-shirt from last night lying on the floor, tug it over my head and then spring from the bed searching for either my duffel or my discarded panties.

“Where is he? I swear I’m going to kick his ass. You are not fat, Zoe. You’re a beautiful girl, he should treat you with respect, and fuck any guy who expects you to try hard for him. I used to like Jake, but I hate him now. I can’t believe Bobby has such an asshole friend.”

She stops me with an arm. “He’s not an asshole. He’s a guy. They’re all like that. Stay out of it. It’s not like I did it. It just bugged me. And we are official as of last night.”

I sink down on the bed. “Are you sure you don’t want me to kick his ass? I’m still mad.”

Zoe shakes her head. “Well, I’m not mad at all so stop it. Boy, do you have a temper. You go from zero to kick-ass in half a second. You’re like fucking Rambo at times.”

For some reason that kind of stings.

I pout. “I do for the people I care about.”

She grins. “It’s all good so stop being angry.”

A knock on the bedroom door makes us both turn.

I stare at the repulsive creature standing in the open doorway. Blond. Petite. Perfect.

Oh no. It can’t be.

My insides turn.

Caroline makes a fake apologetic smile. “Sorry to interrupt. I just need to grab a blow dryer. I forgot mine.”

Before I can say anything she darts across the room into the master bath.

I turn on Zoe. “What the hell is she doing here?”

Zoe’s eyes widen in surprise. “She’s Seth’s date. I thought you knew. I’ve been trapped with her all morning.”

“No. I didn’t know,” I say in a heated whisper. “She wasn’t there when we left yesterday. And Bobby didn’t tell me.”

I hear a cabinet open and close. A second later, Caroline comes back into the room, holding the dryer up in a mission accomplished sort of way.

“Thanks,” she purrs. “I’ll get out of your way.”

My eyes narrow as I follow her.

How did she know where the blow dryer was?

Oh fuck.

Everything inside me goes cold.

Somehow I wait until the door closes behind her.

I whirl on Zoe. “She’s been here before, hasn’t she?”

Zoe’s face tightens with confusion. “Yes. Once. Last summer. We were all here two weeks before school started. Right after Linda gave Bobby the house. The guys came here to surf. What does it matter? Why do you ask?”

Jealousy and hurt shoot through my body, destroying the happy glow I’ve had all morning. “I can’t believe Bobby brought me someplace he stayed with her and thought it would be special.”

She frowns. “He didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better. I despise when you give me pity props. She used to date Bobby.”

“Yeah, for like half a second,” Zoe counters. She rolls her eyes. “If you fall for that one, Kaley, I swear I’m going to slap you. This is nothing to get all butt-hurt over and ruin everyone’s week for.”

My lips scrunch up and I cross my arms. “Don’t tell me what I should get angry over and not. I’m at not staying here five days with her. She bugs the hell out of me. I can’t believe she’s here. I can’t believe Bobby let her come, he knows I hate her, and it was definitely a jerk thing to do. I’m out of here as soon as he gets back—”

“God, she is so fucking obvious,” Zoe exclaims, interrupting me. “And you are so blind when you get angry. You react without even thinking things through. Leave? That’s what she wants you to do, have some kind of big blow up with Bobby because she’s jealous as hell that you’ve got him and she doesn’t. As if he’d ever want that fucking toxic fembot back. Can you really not see what she just did? Coming in here all cutesy and dressed in the morning. Blah. Blah. Sweet. Sweet. ‘I can get the blow dryer myself.’ Nice little dramatic sashay to the bathroom. She wanted you to know she’d been here before because she knew you’d fly off the handle and assume she was here with Bobby. Which she wasn’t. She slept in my fucking room for two weeks and that was a freaking nightmare. She knows exactly what to do to bug you. How to find the right pin and you are such an easy grenade to explode. Jeez, you need to knock off that shit. Stop letting her pull your pins. She’s manipulative as hell, she’ll do it if you let her, and I hate watching Caroline be happy.”

 

 

CHAPTER 14

I press into Bobby’s side as his arm tightens around my shoulders and we walk from the Boardwalk toward the street.

Zoe peeks around Jake so I can see her face and scrunches her nose. “It sucks that they close the rides at five.”

I smile and nod, though the rides were sort of lame and so not what I had in mind for today. But the long hours of laughing and touching and kissing Bobby without full relief have made me more than ready to go back to the house. I would have preferred to pass on today’s big fun since our first three days here have been pretty freaking amazing even if we didn’t ever leave our bedroom.

But Zoe begged and wheedled for us to spend the day out with the group and Caroline is such a witch. It didn’t seem a very good best-friend move to leave Zoe completely on her own with her for the entire five days.

Bobby turns me into him. “Are you hungry? We should probably grab some dinner somewhere. What do you want, Kaley?”

I curl into his chest and peek up at him. “I want to go back to the house.”

I can tell my eyes are sparkly.

Bobby beats back a smile.

“Don’t give me that look,” he warns.

“What look?”

He lowers his forehead until it rests on mine. “You know damn well what look. We might as well eat somewhere. We’re not going back anytime soon.”

I pout, even though I am really tender there. We pushed it—well, I pushed it—and he knows it. But I can’t keep my hands off him. It just keeps getting more amazing each time we do it. The more we have sex the more I want him again.

“Well, I’m hungry,” Zoe announces none too subtly.

“Let’s just go to Longboards like we always do,” Caroline suggests, her gaze fixing on Bobby.

Zoe locks eyes with me and behind Caroline’s back she mouths always and then makes a face.

“Where do you want to go, Kaley?” Bobby asks.

“Longboards sounds fine to me,” I say sweetly, startling Caroline since Zoe is right—Beach Barbie Bimbo is jealous as hell and it shows on her face that she’s just itching to try to pull a pin on me again.

Bobby takes my hand and starts guiding me down the street. I smile at Zoe walking next to me, earning an approving nod from her.

We bypass the trendier, touristy places on the main drag and stop outside a building that looks a bit rustic and has that hole-in-the wall shabbiness. I can’t see through the smoked glass windows. Not what I expected. But the food must be good. The parking lot is packed with cars.

I glance at the menu posted outside the door. Your standard California dive options. Really? Caroline picked this? I expected frou-frou cuisine and bucks-up décor. I doubt they even have Pellegrino here for her.

Bobby looks down at me. “Is this OK with you?”

Caroline rolls her eyes.

“Whatever you want,” I whisper, easing up into Bobby to kiss him.

I hear an annoyed exhale of breath: Caroline.

Then a choked-back laugh: Zoe.

Bobby pulls open the door and I step in before him, a rush of warm air and noise hitting me. The interior is appropriately tacky to match the exterior. Heavy dark wood walls. Surfboards and pictures everywhere. Rock music blasting from the sound system. Dining tables all through the room in a haphazard way. Peanut shells littering the floor. Pool tables.

Such a guy kind of hangout.

I stare. “Interesting place.”

“Great food, though,” Jake pipes in.

I look past him to Zoe, eyes wide. “Did Jake really speak or am I hearing things?” I ask, but my cheeks redden when she doesn’t laugh.

Jake glares and starts moving into the dining area, pulling Zoe with him.

Bobby holds me back. “Are you done giving him shit yet? You’ve been doing it all day. You’re really pissing Jake off. He likes Zoe, and most of the guys she dates aren’t good guys to her. You need to let up.”

I try to look contrite, but I’m still kind of pissed for Zoe’s sake over Jake’s fat girls try harder moments their first night together.

Bobby lifts a brow.

“I’ll let up,” I say.

He drops a kiss on my nose. “I can’t imagine what he did to turn you all vigilante. If you tell me I’ll make sure he never does it again.”

My eyes widen. “I can’t tell you Zoe’s private stuff.”

“Oh,” he says with heaving meaning. “I don’t want to know Zoe’s private shit. Jake’s either. And since it’s their issue, stay out of it. You’re making them both uncomfortable, in case you haven’t noticed, and he’s an all right guy.”

Barely all right, I retort inside my head, but I nod.

Bobby starts cutting through the crowd toward our table and I realize people are staring at us in varying levels of obviousness, but then we are a good-looking couple. My fingers tighten around his and I kiss his bicep.

You can look. You can drool. But sorry, girls, this guy is mine.

By the time we reach the table, there are only two side-by-side vacant seats, one flanked by Caroline and the other Zoe. Bobby motions me forward. Crap, both options suck. Either I’m stuck next to Caroline or I put my guy next to her.

Both situations are no bueno.

I sink down onto the chair closest to Zoe. “Do you know what you’re going to order?”

Zoe shakes her head. “Everything looks really good. I’ve been watching the trays when the waitresses go by.”

“I wouldn’t take you anyplace you’d be unhappy, Zoe,” Jake assures her and she beams. “I know what you like and it’s all good here.”

He quickly shifts his eyes to me to see if I’m going to zap him again. Bobby’s right. I need to let up. Jake has been really sweet to Zoe all day.

They start talking softly to each other. I watch for a second, smiling, then bury my nose in my menu, settling my hand on my guy’s thigh.

My guy.

I shift my gaze to Caroline. She’s leaning into Bobby as if Seth isn’t even here, and her flirtatious obviousness is definitely annoying. Why doesn’t she give up and leave us alone? I resolve to ignore her.

We order our food and by the end of dinner we’re all laughing. Longboards is hopping now that the live band is on stage, and the atmosphere around the table is more festive since Caroline hit the floor alone to throw some shapes to work off the calories of that lame, tiny dinner salad which comprised her entire meal.

Yep, Zoe’s right. She’s nothing but a plastic fembot. I don’t know why I let her get under my skin. I hate girls who pretend they don’t eat, toss their hair, and preen and strut for every guy who looks at them.

Zoe and I stare at her, smirking. She’s all over the floor, trying her damnedest to be sexy, but it’s not working. Seth isn’t even paying attention to her since the second she left us he wandered off to chat up some girl at the bar—though I doubt Seth is her target with this performance—and Bobby has been in deep conversation with Jake from the moment she left the table.

Frowning, I try to work my way into their discussion. They’re trying to decide something but I can’t quite figure out what it is.

Zoe points a finger at her mouth, as if gagging. “Can she be any more nauseating?”

“That girl has got no moves,” I say, and we both start pulsing in rhythm in our chairs since there is a nice thumping bass line rocking the room.

Zoe’s eyes widen. “Do you want to hit the floor and show her how it’s done?”

It’s not crowded, there’s lots of space, and I’m a pretty good dancer. Still—

I shake my head, nestling into Bobby’s side. “I’m ready to go back to the house. Aren’t you? If we slip out quietly maybe she won’t notice and follow. Why don’t we leave?”

Zoe shakes her head. “Not yet. It’s early. It’s Saturday night. It’s our last night here.”

Bobby buries his lips in my hair. “So what do you think? Snowboarding? Over winter break?”

What?

Snowboarding?

My eyes lock on Zoe’s and we explode with laugher.

The guys frown, watching.

“What’s so funny?” Bobby asks, studying me quizzically.

Zoe and I only laugh harder. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket again. Crap, obsess much, Chrissie? Fourth time since I sat down for dinner.

Damn.

I’m having fun.

I don’t want to call home.

I sigh, tossing my napkin on the table, and stand. “I’ve got to go call my mom. She’s not going to let up tonight until I do. I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t be long,” Bobby murmurs sweetly.

“Never.” I lean in to him for a fast kiss. Smiling, I look across the table at Zoe. “Want to come with me?”

She shakes her head and sinks closer into Jake. “No, we ordered dessert. I want to be here when it arrives.”

“Fine, be that way.”

Zoe widens her eyes. “I will.”

I bury a smile. Confident Zoe. Happy Zoe. I like this version even better. Yep, I was wrong. Jake is good for her.

I hurry across the crowded room and out the front door. A cold blast of foggy night air hits me. Rubbing my arm with one hand, I fish in my pocket for my cell as I sink down on the bench by the restaurant entrance.

The screen lights up with another annoying message.

Frowning, I stare.

Fuck, what is this?

Yahoo breaking news—

My heart drops.

I scroll through them, frantically reading.

Notifications from my news alert setting.

Icy pricks run the surface of my flesh as I read the brief news blurbs. Oh God. Why doesn’t it say if he’s all right?

I swipe open my phone and hit my browser. Google search: Alan Manzone. I click on a link. No. No. No. Car accident. Hospital in the UK. Status and location unknown.

I rapidly click on more stories. Fuck, just the same uninformative press release. Over and over again. Why the hell doesn’t someone say if Alan is all right?

Leaning forward, I hug my stomach, trying to still my spinning world. I don’t know what to do. I’m shaking and I can’t pull in air.

Do I call Chrissie?

She must be out of her mind.

I check my voice mail.

Nothing from Mom.

I hit the callback button on Chrissie’s last message.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Voice mail.

Fuck.

I click off the phone.

I feel frazzled, disoriented, and helpless.

Even if I knew what hospital Alan was in, the nurses wouldn’t talk to me if I called. I’m not family. My stomach churns painfully and tears start streaming down my cheeks. My dad could be dying, and no one, not even my mom, called me…

The heavy wood door opens and I look to find Zoe closing in on me. But I can’t move. I’m numb.

“What are you doing out here?” she asks, exaggerated and feigning exasperation. “You’ve been gone forever. You better have a good excuse—” Her eyes widen and her mouth stills in a wide O. “What’s wrong, Kaley? Why are you crying?”

I shake my head. Crying? I wipe at my cheeks and feel the moisture. Crap, I didn’t even feel the tears.

Zoe drops down on the bench beside me and slips an arm around me. “Did Caroline do something? Don’t tell me you two mixed it up again. I swear I’m going to rip off her face—”

“Get Bobby now.”

Her expression changes into one of alarm. “Kaley, what’s wrong. You’re scaring me.”

I show her my phone. “It’s my dad. Will you go get Bobby? Now.”

She springs to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

She darts back into the restaurant and I start rummaging through the news on my phone. New links keep appearing but they don’t say anything.

The restaurant door bursts wide and Bobby hurries to me with Zoe and Jake following close behind.

He sinks down in front of me, crouching in the space between my legs. “Kaley, are you OK?”

I lift my stricken eyes to him, holding out my phone. A frown appears, lowering and lowering as he read. “Oh fuck. Baby, you need to calm down. It’s probably nothing.”

He slips his arms around my shaking body.

I curl into Bobby’s chest so he can hold me tighter. “It’s not nothing. It says he’s in a hospital. That’s not nothing.”

He continues to read. “He’s fine. I’m sure of it.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and taps through screens, shaking his head. “I’ve got nothing from my mom. If it was something, my mom would have called. Linda didn’t call, Kaley. That should tell you everything. Everything is all right.”

The adrenaline the alerts sent pumping through my veins has left only panic in its wake. Bobby sounds so calm. So certain. And yet the numbing fear won’t subside.

“I tried to call my mom. Chrissie didn’t answer.”

Bobby brushes the hair back from my face. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Call Linda. Please, Bobby. She’ll know what’s happening and I won’t be able to breathe until I know for sure.”

He kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll call. But you need to stop worrying.”

He eases back from me, taps the screen and then holds the phone to his ear. Jake and Zoe huddle close to me as we all watch Bobby.

Jake gently pats my back. “It’s going to be OK, Kaley. We’re all here for you. You just lean on me as much as you need to.”

The way he says that makes me cry harder and I sink into him, ashamed that I’ve been so rotten to him all day—because he is kind to Zoe and he’s being a really good friend to me right now—and I didn’t realize before today that if something happened to Alan I couldn’t take that. I’ve been so obsessed with my anger I’d forgotten that I love him.

I’ve always loved Alan.

Please let him be all right.

Somehow my insides grow even more jumpy.