Текст книги "The Rules According to Cracie "

Автор книги: Stefanie London

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He looped a hand around her waist and pulled her tight against him. Screw it, if he only ever got this one night with Gracie he wanted to enjoy it, even if it was under the stupid pretense of finding her another date.

Her hips swayed and he hardened.

This is not going to end well.

“Aren’t you going to check out any of the prospects?” he asked, motioning with one hand to the other men in the crowd.

“I have been.” Her cheeks flushed and he knew for a fact her eyes hadn’t been anywhere but on him.

He slipped his hand under her coat and ran it down the length of her back. The silk of her dress was heaven beneath his fingertips. Like everything else about her it was soft and sensual. It made his head spin.

“This is dangerous, Des.” He could barely hear her voice over the jazz music and laughter around him. “I’m almost breaking a rule.”

“Dancing?” He bent so his cheek rested against her hair, her lips brushed his jaw.

“Wanting more.” In a rush, her palms were against his chest and the cool air came between them like a flood. “I need a drink.”

His body raged, the absence of her touch felt like losing a limb. The chemistry zinging between them broke him down. It made him believe that they had something more in store than a single night borne of her wanting to forget her date’s rejection.

They wove through the crowd to find a stall with gourmet hot chocolate and coffee. Beside him, she stood rigid and tense. It was hard to ignore the crackle of energy that gathered whenever they were near one another, but she accepted her caramel hot chocolate and avoided his eyes.

“If nothing else, I can say that I got you to dance,” he said, blowing on a cup of rich, black coffee.

“If nothing else?”

“Yeah, if I don’t find you a date.” He sipped his coffee. “Or if I don’t get you to break any more rules.”

“You’ve already set the record.” Her eyes crinkled at the corners.

“At one broken rule?” He shook his head. “That is a sad state of affairs, Gracie Greene.”

“I feel that I need to even the score.” She watched the curling steam that wound up from her cup. “What are your rules?”

He shrugged. “I’m not a rules kind of guy.”

They walked to the edge of the market, the noise and people thinning out. It was black outside; the night sky was littered with stars and the spring air was cool on his face. He wanted to ask her back to his place for a nightcap and dessert, but something held him back.

Maybe because it’s the most terrible idea in the history of idiocy? You’re supposed to be helping her and instead you’re putting on the moves!

“Why am I not surprised?” She rolled her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed pink, the two spots of rose giving her a mischievous look. “Surely you have one rule that I can break.”

Des Chapman had made himself vulnerable for the first time since his fiancée had thrown her ring at him five years ago.

Rule already broken.

…

Gracie had left the dance area at exactly the right time. With Des close to her it had been all she could do not to reach out and touch him. He moved with the confidence of a man who knew his body, knew the power and strength it possessed.

Those kinds of men scared Gracie, yet Des pulled her in with an unrelenting invisible force. Even now, with space between them and a hot drink to keep her hands occupied, she wanted to lose herself in the thick waves of his dark hair. A shiver ran through her. Temptation was not a notion to be entertained.

Have you completely forgotten why you came out tonight? It’s nothing to do with Des.

Was it obvious to him how she’d ignored every other guy who’d glanced her way? She was so far off track, she’d taken a detour straight into the valley of stupid.

“Like I said, I’m not a rules kind of guy.” His frame loomed over hers. “If I was, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re dangerous, Gracie.” He reached out, his fingertip tracing the outline of her jaw. “A man could fall hard for you.”

“I’m dangerous?” She let out a shaky laugh, her body alight with awareness. “You’re the ‘no rules’ guy. That sounds pretty dangerous to me. What would happen if we didn’t set ourselves boundaries, guidelines?”

“Those are other words for rules.”

Her cheeks heated beneath his stare, but it wasn’t the telltale signs she was worried about. It was the slow unfurling of excitement in her gut, the trickle of heat down to her center that had her head begging her to retreat. “I’m too straitlaced for you.”

It was a feeble protest at best.

“I can help you undo those laces. I can help you loosen up.” His voice was dark, the edges blurred with something heady and lustful. Seductive.

“I like being this way.”

He shook his head, his free hand finding her hair. His fingers threaded through her curls to find the curve at the back of her head. He was close, the scent of coffee dancing between them. “I think you’ve had those ideals forced on you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Call it an educated guess.”

“You don’t know me, Des.” She shook her head, panic spread through her like wildfire. Her restraint crumbled like the broken edge of a cliff-face. She was going to fall and it was going to hurt.

“I know enough.” He sighed. “I’ve seen enough of those safe, boring men you bring to my restaurant. I’ve seen the disappointment in your face every goddamn time.”

“I just haven’t found the right guy yet.” A smile wobbled on her lips. “That’s why we’re here tonight.”

Her statement hung between them. Something flickered within the depths of Des’s eyes. They were darker than night. Like two pieces of polished onyx they reflected her and concealed him. “Is it?”

He couldn’t be right for her. He was far from what she wanted, from what would fit into her life, from what her mother would accept. Yet her body acted as though he were the Holy Grail of men.

“We’re wrong for each other.” She tossed her empty cup into a bin beside them and he did the same with his.

But neither of them backed away. If anything, getting their attraction out in the open had raised the stakes. They were on the same wavelength, heading for disaster, and yet something stuck them both to the ground as if none of it mattered.

But their differences did matter…didn’t they?

“What are we doing, Des?” It wasn’t something he could answer, but she had to fill the void of silence before it sucked her in. Before it consumed her right there on the spot.

“I’m not sure what you’re doing, but I’m going out on a limb.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I’m breaking my rule.”

“I thought you didn’t have any.” A smile quirked on her mouth.

“I have one…had one.” He grabbed her hand and closed the last of the space between them. Her fingers were knotted with his; heat raced through her veins.

As his mouth met hers, her mind went blank. There was nothing but the insistent press of his lips as he opened her, tasted her. She should have resisted. For a split second she wanted to resist, but his hands moved to her back, crushing her to him. She was powerless.

He kissed like he meant it, like he wanted to savor every second of it. His tongue delved gently into her, teasing, taunting, coaxing. But it wasn’t until he moved his hips against her, the evidence of his arousal jutting into her belly, that she sagged into his chest and let him in.

“Gracie,” he moaned into her mouth. His hands slid down her back, cupping her ass and lifting her slightly. Each subtle movement of his hips shot flames through her. She was unravelling. Fast.

“Des, I think—”

“Don’t think.” It was a command, without room for negotiation.

His lips were at her cheek, her temple, her hairline. She slid her hands into his hair, tugging him so his lips came back to hers. A tremor ran through him, a tremor she’d caused.

Excitement danced like fairy lights behind her eyelids. Her world was tilting; solid ground shifted beneath her feet.

“Come home with me.” The words were whispered like a secret in her ear, an invitation to undo her laces and break down her boundaries.

“I can’t…” If she did then she would never be the same. Des would ruin her for other men. After experiencing him, her world would be gray. It was too risky. “We’re not right for each other.”

“We’re right for now.”

It was enough to push reason to the forefront of Gracie’s mind. She didn’t do “now”, she did “long term” and Des Chapman was not a long-term choice.

“I’m sorry, Des. I’m not anyone’s one-night stand.” She straightened her shoulders and took a step back. “Not even yours.”

Chapter Four

It had been two weeks since her world had been flipped around. Two weeks since she’d kissed Des and thought of nothing else. It was true, she didn’t do one-night stands, but the possibility that Des might stick around longer than an evening of pleasure tugged at the frayed edges of her mind.

What if?

It was useless, but she couldn’t shake the sense of loss that followed after she’d abandoned him at the market. Gracie wasn’t interested in seeing anyone else…not anymore. She’d turned down a guy from her work—who was gorgeous, smart, and an executive—simply because there wasn’t the same fizz of attraction that Des ignited within her. She’d ignored messages on her online dating profile and even declined an invitation to drinks by a hunky acquaintance.

Des had ruined her, as she’d predicted, and that was before she got anything more than a kiss.

“Gracelyn, what on earth is wrong with you?” Her mother’s voice snapped Gracie’s attention to the present. “You’re so vague, it’s positively off-putting.”

“Sorry, Mother,” she murmured, spearing another piece of roast beef with her fork. Her appetite had been a non-existent concept of late, to the point that her work pants hung from her hips a little too loosely.

Why would she eat when the color had been sucked from her life?

“Just as well. To anyone else it might seem that you would rather be elsewhere than spending time with your family.”

Her mother’s formidable tone was perfected to strike fear into the hearts of either Greene daughter. She spoke with an edge sharp enough to carve ice and it was the subtext that mattered most; Gracie was on the verge of causing her mother to go on a tirade…and no one wanted that.

Under the table, she received a swift kick to the ankle. Gracie looked up to the meet a not-so-subtle stare from Emmaline.

“This roast is fantastic, Cecilia.” Conrad reached out and patted his mother-in-law’s hand. “Really top notch.”

Pass me a bucket.

“Thank you, Conrad. It’s nice that someone appreciates family meals.” Cecilia surveyed the table, set in the finest of cream linens and porcelain crockery, her eyes narrowing at each of her daughters in turn.

Conrad puffed out his chest and Gracie rolled her eyes. He was like a puppy doing anything he could to get a pat on the head. His saccharine smile grated on her nerves. But she kept her mouth shut. After all, Conrad was Emmaline’s husband and Gracie loved her sister more than anything…despite her poor taste in men.

She’d chosen a perfectly bland optometrist with a perfectly bland mansion in Toorak. Together, they lived in beige-colored society bliss, much to Cecilia’s satisfaction.

“Now, Gracelyn, you remember Mrs. Richardson, don’t you? She’s informed me that her son is back from a stint in Hong Kong. I’ve passed on your mobile number so she can set up a time for you two to meet.”

She remembered Mrs. Richardson all right. The woman had a mean disposition and a Chihuahua trained to attack anyone who got within a foot of its owner. Unsurprisingly, the only person the Chihuahua didn’t attack was Gracie’s mother, most likely because they were kindred spirits. She also remembered Mrs. Richardson’s son and she’d pick the Chihuahua as preferred company any day.

“Mother, as much as I’m grateful for your…help… I don’t think Mrs. Richardson’s son is right for me.” She chewed on her beef pretending to give the idea some serious consideration. “I would hate to waste their time.”

“Why are you so insistent on being single, Gracelyn? You’re not getting any younger, you know.”

“I’m not insistent on being single, but I don’t want to date someone when I know it’s not going to work out.”

Wasn’t that the exact reason she was avoiding Des?

There was no way she could put him through the torture of the weekly Greene Family Luncheon. There was no way she could force him to endure a lifetime of her mother’s judgement. And her mother would judge him. He didn’t deserve that.

Gracie also didn’t deserve to be dumped because of it…again.

“How do you know it’s not going to work out? He’s an investment banker, you know. He has a good job.”

“So?”

Another kick under the table from Emmaline. Arguing with her mother was a fruitless endeavor, but Gracie was too miserable and too frustrated to put up with the constant attacks. She was sick of playing nice and doing what her mother wanted.

“Henry Richardson is a bore,” Gracie continued. “I’m not interested in dating him.”

Silence descended over the Greene family. Knives and forks hovered mid-air, breaths were held in. Cecilia lowered her cutlery slowly and patted her cement-like coiffed ice-blond hair. Gracie bit back a smile. It was the smallest of rebellions but she needed it. It made her feel like she wasn’t her family’s doormat.

“You can’t spend your whole life flitting about without responsibility. By the time you’re ready to settle down no man will be interested in you.” Cecilia tilted her chin, daring Gracie to argue otherwise.

“This is ridiculous. I pay my bills and my mortgage, I contribute to society. I am not flitting about.” She sighed, forcing down the anger bubbling in her stomach like toxic lava. “We’re not living in the dark ages anymore. I’m not going to date someone because you think he’s a suitable option.”

“Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Cecilia muttered, reaching for her wine. “She’s far more sensible.”

“Mother, that’s not fair—” Emmaline protested.

“Don’t get involved, Em.” Conrad cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder as if to silence her. His cold stare unsettled Gracie. She never could understand how her sister had married such an asshole. “Let Gracelyn dig her own hole.”

Gracie closed her eyes and willed the thumping in her head to go away. Her family was seriously dysfunctional, and without her father to balance out her mother’s controlling ways, Gracie was more disconnected from them than ever.

She missed him so much. Shutting her eyes, Gracie willed the tears away. Her promise to her father swirled in her mind, warring with her feelings for Des.

“Gracie, why don’t you give me a hand with the dessert?” Emmaline pushed up from her seat and gathered the empty plates closest to her, motioning for Gracie to follow. In the kitchen, Emmaline put the dishes by the sink and placed her hands on Gracie’s shoulders. “Deep breath, honey. She doesn’t mean to be cruel.”

“But she is,” Gracie said, staring up into her sister’s face. Emmaline had the same coloring as their mother—platinum blond hair and baby blue eyes—but she exuded a warmth and calm that was all their father’s.

“She’s lonely. That’s why she insists on these weekly lunches. I think she believes that you’ll come around more if you were married, though I don’t know why. I swear I am busier now than when I was single.”

“I’d come around more if she didn’t treat me like I was a failure.”

“You’re not a failure.” Emmaline wrapped her long, slender arms around Gracie and drew her into a hug. “Though, if we don’t get you married off soon, Mother’s likely to take it into her own hands. Who knows what would happen then.”

Her tone was joking but there was truth behind the words. Gracie rolled her eyes. She’d only turned twenty-seven a few months ago and Cecilia Greene was acting like Gracie was going past her use-by date.

She fought back the emotions. It was pointless letting her mother affect her in such a way, but she didn’t have the strength to fight it. She hugged her sister back. Emmaline was the only one who had the ability to instantly take Gracie’s anger down a notch with one simple gesture.

Gracie breathed in her sister’s familiar, comforting scent and the pounding in her head eased. “I wish Dad was still alive.”

“Me, too.” Emmaline released her, a sad smile on her pale pink lips. “I know Mother’s crazy, but she loved Dad more than anything. I believe deep down she wants the same for us.”

“You think?”

“I hope so.” Emmaline paused, studying her. “You’re still thinking about that guy. I can practically hear the cogs turning in your head.”

“Why?” Gracie moaned into her hands. “Why did I have to kiss him?”

Emmaline smiled. “I thought you said that he kissed you.”

“He did.” She sighed. “But I kissed him back.”

“That makes all the difference.”

“It does. If I hadn’t kissed him back then I could brush it off as his mistake, not mine. But there was definite reciprocation of the kiss.”

“Was he good?”

“The best.” Gracie sighed. “What’s wrong with me, Ems? Why do I do this to myself?”

“Because you have an eye for trouble?” Emmaline smiled and patted Gracie on the arm. “Because you know he’d make Mother flip out?”

“That’s precisely why I shouldn’t go out with him.”

“Do you think there’s something in a relationship with this guy?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Maybe. I don’t know. He wouldn’t fit in with the family, that’s for sure.”

“And you’re not interested unless it’s long term?”

“If I go there, there’ll be no coming back.” Gracie sighed. “He’s intense, gorgeous, and perfectly imperfect.”

“How so?”

Gracie was unable to wipe the grin that formed on her lips every time she imagined Des. “He’s tattooed and permanently unshaven. He doesn’t do airs and graces, he’s funny, sexy…”

“He sounds pretty good to me.”

“What would Mother say if I brought home a guy who looks like you wouldn’t want to cross him in a dark alley?”

“I’m sure she thinks most guys these days fit that description.”

“He wouldn’t fit in at the hospital charity functions or the golf days. Mother would probably torture him until he left.”

Just like the last one…

Gracie leaned against the kitchen counter and dropped her head into her hands. It was hopeless. She’d been down this route before and it hadn’t ended well. She could still remember the look on her ex’s face when he’d finally given up and left. No one could take years of Cecilia Greene’s emotional battering…no one except Gracie and Emmaline.

“Does it really matter what mother thinks?” Emmaline asked, as if reading Gracie’s mind.

“How can you even ask that?” Gracie shook her head and went to the fridge to retrieve the cheesecake her sister had baked. “You know what she’s like.”

“I think there’s more to it than that.” Emmaline peered at her with shrewd eyes. “You’ve gone against her plenty of times in the past. Why is this different?”

“You mean apart from the fact that I’ve already lost one guy that I cared about because of her?”

“I know you thought you loved Ben, but you were both so young. No, there’s something else you’re not telling me.”

Sometimes she hated how well her sister knew her. Behind her prim, well-mannered exterior, she was sharply intelligent. She understood people, could work out what made them tick. She could look at Gracie and delve into the things she tried hardest to keep hidden.

“Out with it,” Emmaline demanded.

“I made a promise to Dad before he died.” She looked up at her older sister, the wave of grief crashing anew. It had been over a year already and she still missed him as though he’d only just gone.

“What promise?”

“That I would settle down, get married, and keep Mother happy.”

Tears prickled at her eyes. She’d made the promise when they were alone. Emmaline and their mother had taken a coffee break and Gracie had stayed back, holding her father’s hand and trying to bargain with the heavens for more time.

“So that explains the dating obsession.” Emmaline busied herself hunting through the kitchen cupboards until she found a crystal cake platter. She helped Gracie place the cake on the platter and stood back, admiring her handiwork for a moment before continuing. “You know he only wanted you to be happy.”

“And dating a guy who would drive Mother crazy is going to make me happy?” Gracie shook her head. “No, it’s going to make me miserable like it did last time and then he’ll leave anyway.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s happened once. I don’t want to go through that again.”

“If it’s not going to work out, then why don’t I set you up with one of Conrad’s friends?” Emmaline asked sweetly as she sliced the cake into perfect wedges.

The thought of being set up with one of his friends was nauseating, though she was sure her sister knew that.

“Ems, I’m fine. I shouldn’t have worried you with it.”

“You’re my sister. Of course you should worry me with these things.”

“I don’t understand what more Mother wants from me.” Heat rose to Gracie’s cheeks and spilled down her neck. “For god’s sake, it’s not like I’m out partying and getting into trouble. I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”

“Don’t get upset,” Emmaline said. Her voice was purposefully calming, a skill perfected from years of smoothing the friction between her youngest sister and their mother. “It was only a kiss. Wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know. I’m so confused.” Gracie shook her head. “I feel like I can’t keep the promise to Dad and go after what I want with Des.”

“Has trying to keep the promise worked so far?”

Gracie sighed. “No.”

“He would want you to be happy and let’s face it, no one is ever really going to please Mother.” Emmaline laughed. “That would be like setting yourself up for failure.”

“I have set myself up for failure.”

Emmaline nudged her with a bony elbow. “You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try, at the very least.”

“Where did all this carpe diem advice come from?” Gracie gave her sister a squeeze. Emmaline was usually the voice of conservative reason, the sister more likely to fulfil Cecilia Greene’s wishes. For years Gracie had seen her older sister as a parrot of their mother, but lately she seemed to be distancing herself.

“I’m realizing that just because something pleases Mother doesn’t mean it’s right.” A strange undercurrent of emotion flickered in her eyes. “I guess what I’m saying is sometimes you have to trust your instincts instead of your head. Instead of your rules.”

Gracie laid a hand on her sister’s arm. “Is everything okay, Em?”

“Yes, of course.” The bright smile was immediately back in place. “I think you should go for it, that’s all.”

Gracie glanced out to the dining table where her mother sat. Cecilia had folded her hands in front of her, a frown pulling her thin lips into a harsh line and her cold blue eyes narrowed at something in the distance. She knew her mother loved her and Emmaline deep down… Unfortunately these days it felt so deep down that the love might not ever see the light of day again.

“You’re responsible for your own happiness,” Emmaline said, talking almost to herself. “Remember that.”

Gracie nodded.

“I think it’s time for some cake.” Emmaline picked up the cake platter and started towards the dining room.

“I have to go.” Gracie sighed. “This was enough family drama for one day.”

Emmaline frowned. “Don’t worry about settling down or about pleasing Mother. You need to please yourself. Promise?”

Gracie forced a smile and gave her sister a kiss on the cheek. Emmaline made it all sound so easy but Gracie knew she’d married to keep their mother happy. She hadn’t taken her own advice.

Maybe she wants you to avoid years of being married to someone chosen for the wrong reasons?

After feigning a problem at the office, Gracie caught the tram to the city. She’d intended to go home, but when First came into view she experienced the familiar gravitational pull. Des had called her a few days ago, but she’d let it go to voicemail and then she’d listened to it over and over to hear the bone-tingling baritone of his voice.

Gracie, he’d said. I won’t apologize for kissing you because I don’t regret it. But I can’t stand not talking to you. Please call me.

She had no idea what to say to him—she couldn’t possibly tell him that she’d woken in the middle of each night, hot with the memory of his kiss. She didn’t regret it either, and that was exactly the reason she hadn’t called him back.

The tram whooshed down the street. She hesitated before jumping up at the last minute to yank the signal chain. A bell dinged and the tram slowed to a stop.

“You’re a mess,” she muttered, stepping off the tram.

The sun beat down overhead. First looked full, not unusual for a Saturday afternoon, but this time it made her think twice about going inside. She could see Des through a huge window that ran along the length of the restaurant.

Her heart thudded as she hovered at the threshold. She was in her weekend clothes, her hair in a boring bun and her face bare. If she wanted to leave a positive impression on Des this probably wasn’t the way to go about it.

But she couldn’t leave. Somehow, she’d crossed a line and something told her there was no going back.

You don’t have to do this. You can walk away. You don’t have to come here ever again.

The thought of not returning to First and seeing Des again made her stomach plummet. Emmaline’s words swirled in her mind: don’t worry about settling down…you need to please yourself.

If she was being honest with herself, none of the dates she’d been on in the last year had pleased her. The guys were stuffy, boring. There was no zing. No tingle of anticipation, just an overwhelming feeling of here we go again. Wasn’t it about time she did something for herself? Hadn’t she earned it?

Tomorrow she could go back to being rule-abiding, responsible, good-girl Gracie. Tonight she wanted to be bad. She wanted to break the rules and throw everything she knew out the window.

Tonight she wanted Des.