Текст книги "The Variables"

Автор книги: Shelbi Wescott

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 31 страниц)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Lucy leaned her head on Grant’s shoulder; he kissed the top of her head and let his lips linger on her hair for a long time. She had taken her five-minute shower earlier in the morning and washed her hair with the rest of her mother’s honey-scented shampoo from back home. She hadn’t even bothered to ask for permission, despite the fact that there would be no more honey shampoo. It was a final scent of the old world; linked to memories of her mother’s embraces and the special treat of bathing in her parents’ master bath. Now it was gone. Poof. Irreplaceable.

“You look beautiful,” Grant said. She sat cross-legged on her bed in her sundress; her unshaved legs scratched against the bare mattress. The short showers and busy mornings with Cass prompted her to eliminate needless grooming. Her leg hair had grown back in soft and blonde, but it didn’t bother her a bit.

“Thank you,” Lucy said. She sighed. She reached around with her free hand and tried to pull Grant closer to her. Sometimes she felt like she couldn’t be close enough to him, that no matter how tightly she wrapped her arms around him, it wasn’t ever enough. He took her hug as an invitation to kiss her, and Lucy pressed her lips tightly to his and just held him there, wishing that time would stand still. There was something exhilarating in the simplicity of a kiss. When they stopped, Lucy’s heart ached. She would never get tired of kissing him, she thought. She wanted to kiss him forever and time was running out.

Unwilling to untangle themselves, Lucy and Grant didn’t even blink when Galen threw open the door and began to haul out his single backpack, the same one he had packed for himself when they were heading to a different island, the Seychelles, what felt like years ago. Back then, everything felt so simple, so clear. They were just a family going on vacation: homework and girlfriend problems were the extent of their concerns. Their parents were normal parents, just plugging along from day to day trying to run the household with efficiency. There was no way they could ever go back to the blissful ignorance of an average life. Lucy knew she would be haunted forever.

“Ew,” Galen complained, rolling his eyes. “Mom says ten minutes.”

She watched Galen shut the door behind him, leaving them alone for just a little bit longer. Her mother wouldn’t bother them; she’d send the kids to do her bidding—and Lucy expected it. The twins might come in next, and then she’d send Harper. It was an old trick, one that she used to employ when Ethan brought Anna home and they would hide away in his bedroom.

No locked doors. That was the rule.

Then send in the kids.

Some things never changed.

Galen grabbed his backpack with a loud huff and it brought her out of her moment with Grant. Watching Galen reminded her of listening by the staircase as their mom ran down her printed list of to-dos on Release Day. Her mom had been so naïve, so duped, and yet she slid right into her life in the System with purposeful resilience. Now, her mother treated their move to the Islands with the same sort of calculated efficiency. If Mama Maxine had any reservations under that calm, cool, and collected exterior, she put forth an airtight façade.

New islands, a new life, and a new outlook awaited Lucy now. She had her mother’s peppy sound bytes memorized, but she didn’t believe them for a second. She was scared. And she was cognizant that without Grant by her side, she was going on this adventure alone.

She held Grant tighter, wishing that she could just stay and let her family go on without her. If only it would be easy to miss this plane, and trap herself with him in a room again. Back at Pacific Lake High School, she had only wanted to stay safe and find her family. But it might have been easier if they had never found out about Nebraska, never created variables, never tried to get here at all. She never thought she’d pine for the good old days of being locked in a storage room.

“Maybe I should send a decoy,” Lucy said. “You think there are any shortish, blondeish girls bound for Copia who could pass for a King until they’re at least in the air?”

“Not on your life,” Grant answered with a smirk. “If it were anyone else’s mom, I’d say you have a real chance of success. But Mama Maxine? No way.” His smirk faded. He looked close to tears.

“My dad said he was working on a way—”

“I don’t want you to worry about it,” Grant interrupted swiftly. He gave her a squeeze. “Really. So, it didn’t work out right away. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out eventually.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous, because I am getting on a plane in less than an hour and I don’t know when I’m going to see you again,” Lucy replied. She couldn’t help the emotion and she made a small sound of frustration before letting the tears fall. “This is stupid. I shouldn’t cry.”

“Lucy—”

“These stupid wristband bracelets are our only identifying materials.” She flicked the yellow band on her wrist—like a hospital bracelet, it had her name, family name, and Island destination in printed letters across the top. “What is stopping you from just swapping bracelets with Dylan or your other roommate?” Lucy asked. She wiped a tear with the back of her hand and raised her eyebrows in expectation. “That’s all it would take. Buy us some time. Don’t they want to trade with you?”

“Lucy...” Grant started again.

“It would work. I know we could get it to work.” Lucy drew back an inch and looked at Grant, evaluating him.

Grant shrugged. “Dylan is heading to Paulina and Todd’s on the list for one of the other ones...I don’t know...New Cochran, I think. Trading with them won’t get me any closer to you today, Lucy. Look, I believe your dad will come through and I’m not going to give the powers that be some other reason to think I’m just another rule-breaking jerk. I want to be with you and so I’m going to have to do this the hard way. I’m sorry. It will work out. It always works out.”

“Sure,” Lucy said. She exhaled and grumbled under her breath. “Way to be a standup guy about it.” She nudged her shoulder into his and forced herself to smile.

“Nope,” Grant said. He laughed and kissed her head again. “Don’t do that. We have eight minutes left. No pouting.”

“I want to fight this,” she told him, and she looked up at him with her eyes wide and pleading. “I hate that I’m going to just walk out of here today, head up to the surface, and not do anything. Does that sound like me? To just do nothing?” She said it with a real sense of conviction, but even as the statement left her mouth, she wondered if it was true. She wasn’t Cass and she wasn’t her mother. She wanted to be brave and determined, she saw herself that way, but that didn’t make it true.

“Save your energy. I’ve already told you that it’s going to work out.”

She leaned back away from him and narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes I really dislike your optimism.”

Grant looked at her apologetically. “I’m not always positive—”

“You believe everything is going to turn out okay in the end, right?”

He shrugged. “With us? I do.”

“Okay,” Lucy said and she snuggled back in close. “What if...what if I just have a bad feeling?”

“I don’t know,” Grant answered. “Look...you don’t know what the Islands are going to be yet. They could be awesome! I mean you know they are going to be awesome. You know I’ll follow you anywhere, Lula. You know it. Only—”

“You want it to be okay.” She said it softly, the realization creeping over her that Grant was going to try to make the most of any place he ended up. She wanted him to be her co-conspirator, her partner against the people who had hurt her. That wasn’t Grant. It would never be Grant. “I understand,” she said and kissed him on the cheek.

“But hey,” Grant said with a shrug. “I’ll do whatever you say. You want to take on the most powerful man in the world...who has an army and chemical weapons at his disposal? Why not! Just another Tuesday, right?”

Lucy broke into a huge grin and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I feel like that’s even better than a marriage proposal. How do you know your boyfriend loves you? He’s willing to have a showdown with a ruthless dictator or plot an escape off a giant metal island in the middle of the ocean.”

“Technically, it’s nowhere near the middle of the ocean. And...I never said anything about love.”

Instantly Lucy’s face bloomed a deep crimson and she fell over on to the stripped mattress and buried her head. She mock-whimpered into the blue and white floral pattern. A button pushed into her cheek. “You ruined it,” she lamented. “You ruined my first time saying that word to anyone.”

Grant put his hand on her back and she turned to him. Her eyes twinkled.

“Technically,” he said again, “you declared that I loved you. Not the other way around.” He tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. “But you’re right.” He smiled. That dimple. She melted. “I love you very much, but I’ve known it for a long time.”

“A long time?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I’ve known for a long time, yeah,” Grant said.

“Before we kissed?” Lucy whispered, smiling, her eyes welling with tears.

“Way before.”

“Before Wyoming?”

“Eh...around Wyoming.”

Her memory went back to the stillness of the Jackson Lake Mountain Lodge.

“We should go back to those cabins sometime. It was nice there. Peaceful and untouched...it was easy to pretend that the darkness didn’t exist.” Lucy sat up on her elbows and smiled.

“Then we’ll go back,” Grant declared with a nod. “That will be our place. If we ever get separated—”

“Don’t even say it,” Lucy said quickly. She shot up on the bed and clasped a hand over Grant’s mouth. He stared at her wide-eyed. “It’s bad luck. You can’t even say it...promise?” He nodded and she removed her hand. “We will go back to Wyoming sometime. Together. Promise?”

“Okay, okay. I promise,” he said.

The door to the room banged open again and Harper traipsed in holding her stuffed giraffe by the neck. “Mom says that you need to finish up!” she announced with a hand on her hip, full of six year-old attitude. Without budging, Harper stood front and center, watching and waiting for a reply.

“Tell mom I’ll be there in a second,” Lucy said to her younger sister, and she shooed her away. Harper stuck out her lower lip and then turned back around and rushed into the main living area, leaving the door wide open.

“She says she needs a second!” her little sister yelled to the entire apartment.

“You should go,” Grant said, and he gave her a nudge.

Lucy reached around her neck and felt for the tiny metal clasp to Salem’s necklace. Unhooking it, Lucy slid it into her hand and pushed it forward into Grant’s chest. He wrapped his own hand around hers and tried to push her hand back, but she didn’t budge.

“Keep it safe,” she said. “I know you’ll come back to me soon if you have this, because you know how much it means to me.”

“Faulty logic,” Grant replied. He stared at her closed palm; the chain dangled in the air. “You keep it,” he told her. “I don’t need that necklace to hurry back to you.”

Lucy shook her head. “I want you to take it.”

“Now, Lucy. It’s time,” Maxine said from the doorway.

When she turned, she saw her mother standing with her arms crossed. While her body language and tone conveyed frustration, her mother’s face was soft and forgiving, and Lucy thought maybe even a bit sad. She understood.

“We have to go, Grant,” Maxine said. “I’m sorry...”

Grant looked at Lucy and then slid his hand into her outstretched palm and collected the necklace. He took it and clasped it around his own neck; he held the cross between his thumb and index finger and spun it on the chain. Lucy smiled and he shrugged.

“Be safe,” he said to Lucy in an almost-whisper. With his free hand he reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out an envelope. “For tonight. Before you go to bed.”

“Mom—” Lucy turned to send her mother away, but she noticed that Maxine had already slipped from the door to give them one last moment together, alone. The place where she had been standing was empty. She turned back to Grant, took the letter from his hand, and wiped away a tear. She felt like her heart was breaking into two pieces. Her stomach ached, her brain went foggy; her entire nervous system responded to this one moment. “I love you,” she said, emboldened.

All the air went out of the room. For a second, all Lucy could hear was her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. It had to be perfect this time; it wasn’t a joke.

“Well,” Grant answered with a smile. “I loved you first.” Then he leaned over and kissed her cheek, just as another tear rolled down. He licked the saltiness off his lips and pressed his forehead into hers. “Seeing you right now just makes it so clear...I have to do whatever it takes to get back to you. You’re everything I have. You’re my entire family.”

“It wasn’t clear before?” Lucy asked, confused. She started to pull away, but Grant put his hand on the back of her head and kept her forehead pressed to his.

“Don’t read into things,” he whispered. “Nothing has ever been as clear as us.” Then he kissed her one last time. Without saying a formal goodbye, he exited the apartment, walking briskly past the waiting King family and their bags, packed and ready for their journey to Kymberlin.

Cass gave Lucy’s hand a squeeze. The girls walked hand-in-hand together through the gray hallways in silence; they both carried single bags filled with the entirety of their earthly possessions. While there was excitement in the air and anticipation for the journey ahead, their last march through the hallways of the System felt somber. The path to the single elevator to the surface led them through a network of long, door-less hallways. Lucy had imagined the remaining occupants lining up to bid them goodbye, cheering for them as they walked past, like they were soldiers marching off to war or astronauts journeying into space. Instead, the halls were quiet and abandoned, and those bound for the Islands walked in relative isolation.

They would ride the elevator in small groups of six, which would plop them back into the middle of the Brixton library. From there, they would board a passenger plane for the East Coast. Kymberlin was located off the coast of Maine.

From one Portland to another, Lucy thought. She shifted, moved forward, and shuffled along. The line slowed as people began to ascend to the surface.

Behind her, Lucy heard the distinct clap-clap-clap of high-heels against the tile flooring. She turned to see Blair rushing forward, weaving between the line of people, while holding Teddy in her arms. A short woman with a poorly executed A-line haircut and holding three bursting bags tried to follow Blair. She huffed and puffed behind her.

“Ethan! Wait!” they heard Blair call, and the line stopped to watch the spectacle. Lucy watched her brother as he turned, his eyes narrowed and suspicious.

Blair was crying. She wiped big tears from her cheeks. When she reached Ethan’s place in line, she stopped to catch her breath, and then she held her head up high and cleared her throat. Even with splotchy cheeks and red eyes, Blair tried to maintain her air of superiority.

“My father...well...he has,” she stammered and shook her head. “He ordered me to stay behind and work. I’m not to embark to Kymberlin until after the Copia residents have been dispatched.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not happy about it either. There’s only so much yelling I can do before I’ve realized I’ve lost an argument. Look,” she said. “This is Allison.” She pointed behind her and the woman with the bags waved. “The boy’s nanny. But I thought...”

Teddy clamored forward and launched himself into Ethan’s arms. Ethan stumbled backward a bit and everyone watching the conversation held his or her breath. He balanced himself, and the people in the hallway sighed collectively with relief.

“What?” Ethan asked to Blair, placing his hands over Teddy’s ears; his tone sharp with disapproval. “You want me to be some glorified babysitter?”

“Absolutely not,” Blair said quickly. “Allison is the nanny. I only thought. Goodness, you’ll make me regret even coming to you. I thought you’d enjoy having some time with him. He’s been asking and—”

“What?” Ethan said again, leaning closer to Blair to make her feel uncomfortable. He lowered his voice. “Is this some kind of token offering? Watch your new kid on a plane ride. Get him settled into his new home. And then you’ll swoop back in and be the hero with your piles of toys.”

Blair cleared her throat. Lucy took a step toward the conversation, but she felt Cass’s hand tug her back.

“No, no, no, mon chéri. He’s fine,” Cass whispered to Lucy. “Come on. Let’s keep going.”

Blair turned to Allison. “The plane ride only. Then no more contact until I’m back. You understand?” Allison nodded and pulled a bag up on her shoulder. Blair looked back at Ethan. “I’ve been working hard to settle my little Theo...”

“His mom called him Teddy,” Ethan said loudly. “Teddy.”

“This was a mistake,” Blair said. She reached for Teddy, but he clung to Ethan and dug his heels into his back. “Fine. Just. Help him feel...calm.” She walked around so she could see Teddy’s face. “Th—Teddy? I’ll be back soon, okay? I just need to work for a little bit. Papa Huck will come see you and Allison will be there. Okay?”

Teddy nodded against Ethan’s shoulder.

“This is stupid,” she said to no one in particular. “I didn’t want to leave him. I told my dad—” Blair looked up at Ethan. “I don’t want him to think I’m not coming back for him.” She blinked and bit back another wave of emotion. “I’m coming back.”

She looked like she wanted to say something else, but instead, she lowered her head and worked her way against the current, back through the throngs of the Kymberlin residents, her sniffles carrying down the hallway in short, meaningful bursts.

Cass clicked her tongue. “That girl,” she sighed.

“You feel sorry for her,” Lucy said.

It took a long time for Cass to reply. She gave Lucy’s hand a long squeeze and shook her head. “No, friend. Not really. I feel sorry for the child.”

Lucy heard her mother and father whispering, and Harper and Teddy jabbering in hushed tones; she could hear the steady clunk of Ethan’s prosthetic foot propelling him forward unevenly. He had yet to perfect his own movements and he jerked and bobbed, putting his metal leg, dressed in a tennis shoe, out in front and sliding his good leg up to meet it. Sometimes he dragged the prosthetic forward. The effect was always jarring and Ethan’s face was frozen in a mixture of pain and anger. The quiet march of the hallway only drew attention to the awkwardness.

Lucy watched Cass steal a look behind her to watch Ethan move along behind them. He had his hand flat against the wall for support, and sweat beads accumulated at his brow. Cass hesitated for a moment. She let her hand drop from Lucy’s, and made a move like she was going to go to him, but then she turned forward again and kept moving.

“We should help him,” Lucy said, pulling her bag up over her shoulder.

“It would embarrass him,” Cass replied. She smiled sadly. “We’ll be at the elevator soon.”

“You don’t know my brother,” Lucy said. “He’s stubborn, but he’s not prideful. I should go—”

Cass put out her hand and gave Lucy’s shoulder a supportive pat. “I don’t know, of course. But I think you might just want to give him space. He’ll come to you when he needs you and when he’s ready. Sometimes people need to process their loss before they’re ready to address it.”

Coldness swept over Lucy and she bristled at Cass’s interpretation of her brother’s feelings. Cass didn’t know Ethan the way she knew Ethan. Her new friend didn’t know what he needed. Or did she? More than anything, she didn’t want to admit that maybe Cass was right—maybe her brother needed space from her, and that realization hurt more than anything. “He lost us, too,” Lucy said, but even as the words left her mouth, she realized how selfish it made her sound.

“But he didn’t,” Cass said, and then she turned her attention away from Lucy and dropped her hand, closing the conversation.

Teddy walked hand-in-hand with Ethan and they trudged along together; the boy talked in short bursts and asked questions as they meandered forward. Lucy strained to listen.

“Mama Maxine says that Mama Blair made me a Star Wars room. A real Star Wars room,” Teddy told Ethan. “Is that true?”

“I don’t know, Teddy. It could be,” Ethan answered in a soft voice. He looked to Allison for confirmation, but the nanny merely shrugged. She hadn’t said a word since Blair deposited her and the bags in front of them in the hallway.

“I don’t want to fall into the ocean.” Teddy looked up at Ethan with wide eyes.

“Why would you fall into the ocean?” Ethan asked.

“Because Mama Blair says that our new house floats on the ocean,” Teddy stated, as if Ethan should already know this fact.

“I’m sure you won’t fall. I’m sure it’s very safe.”

Lucy looked at Cass and realized that she had been eavesdropping, too. She looked away before Cass made the connection, too. Lucy kept her eyes trained on the ground; her mind focused only on the conversation happening behind them. If they had not been part of a moving line, Lucy would have stopped and wrapped her arms around her brother’s neck and just hugged him until he told her to quit or pushed her away. She wanted to take responsibility for her part in his unhappiness. They had shared something back in Oregon: a desire to survive, a feeling of abandonment, clarity of the magnitude of Huck’s actions. They had that. They would always have that. She would not let his anger take that camaraderie away.

“Ethan?” Teddy asked. “Is my mommy waiting on the Islands?”

The question took Ethan by surprise. He stopped walking. He took his hand and put it squarely on Teddy’s head and brought the boy into him; his head hit Ethan’s hip. Lucy and Cass couldn’t help but stop and turn, too. The whole King family watched as Ethan grabbed Teddy and swung him upward. The child wrapped his legs around Ethan’s waist and in return, Ethan grabbed hold tightly across Teddy’s back. With great purpose, he began to stalk forward: big, heavy strides, wearing the boy against his chest.

“I’m praying that she will be, little man,” Ethan said to him. This time he said it loudly, punctuating each word. Ethan marched between Lucy and Cass, and he shot a glare in Lucy’s direction. Without looking away, he added, “No one had any right to take you away from her. She’s coming for you, Teddy. You hear me? She’s never gonna stop looking for you. Do you believe that?”

The child nodded.

“Good,” Ethan said. He started to gain ground, sliding past his sister with an air of stubborn determination. “I believe that, too.”