Текст книги "Chains Released"
Автор книги: Sharon Green
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 9 страниц)
And once she lay under her blanket she had to fight really hard to keep her crying from getting loud enough to wake Risdin…
5
Jake woke up feeling so comfortable that for a moment he didn’t remember where he was. He lay on his stomach, and even though his body ached here and there he was also aware of a sense of satisfaction. He hadn’t felt this sated since the last time he’d—That was when he remembered the night before, and what had come of Tain’s visit. All satisfaction and comfort disappeared as he sat up slowly, now aware of the disappointment he felt. It was stupid to have thought that Tain was a better person than he, someone who would never have taken advantage of a bad situation. But she had taken the same advantage he had, and even though his body had enjoyed the time his mind certainly hadn’t.
“Obviously you needed sleep even more than I did,” Tandro’s voice came from behind him, the words soft. “I’ve been awake for a while, long enough to hear one of the women moving around, but whichever one it is she didn’t come in here.”
Jake turned to see that Tandro also sat on his pallet, which meant that things were looking up for them. Last night he would have been able to sit if he’d really had to, but this morning there was nothing but a shadow left of the punishment he’d been given.
“If it isn’t Tain who’s awake, coming in here would be a waste of time,” Jake said, speaking just as softly. “Have you forgotten that we aren’t allowed to obey anyone but her? That means, of course, that we stay on these pallets until she says we can get up.”
Jake expected to see anger in Tandro over what he’d said, but the native suddenly looked drawn instead.
“After yesterday I really didn’t need any more lessons on the evils of slavery, but it looks like I’ll be getting them whether I need them or not.” The man’s voice was low, as if he were controlling himself sternly, but it was pain rather than anger that he strove to hold off. “It isn’t really possible to understand how bad it can get unless you go through it yourself, is it? Why is it that human beings can’t seem to learn except the hard way? Why can’t we know that something is wrong without having our faces rubbed in the wrongness?”
“If you ever find out the answer to that question I’d appreciate it you let me know,” Jake responded, reflecting that he’d thought some human beings knew right from wrong the easy way. But that was before last night…
“Good morning, men,” Risdin said from the doorway before she walked in holding two filled plates. “I’ve made breakfast, which I’m sure you can use. You can get started on the food while I go back for the coffee.”
“Thank you,” Jake said, taking the plate she handed him as he studied her face. “You’re being extremely good to us, and I don’t understand why.
Unless I’m mistaken you were once a slave yourself, so why would you treat two men in any way but badly?“
“Since I found myself the only one awake this morning, I did some thinking,” Risdin answered, her smile wry. “I know how badly the slaver treated you two, and that didn’t make any sense—until I realized that he must have done it because you’re against slavery. There isn’t really any other reason for making you slaves, and you were hurt and humiliated because you want to make it impossible for me to be hurt again. Was I
wrong?“
“No,” Jake admitted with a shake of his head after exchanging a glance with Tandro. “But I’d like to know how you know that we were humiliated as well as hurt. Did Tain tell you what was done to us?”
“Tain didn’t say a word, but she didn’t have to,” Risdin answered, her expression now more angry than wry. “Being enslaved means you’re going to be humiliated as well as hurt, since that’s the fastest and easiest way to control a slave. There are people who are strong enough to ignore pain, but I don’t think there’s anyone strong enough to withstand humiliation.”
“Before yesterday I might have disagreed with you, but not now,” Tandro said, his expression having fallen all the way to bleak. “What they did to Killen terrified me, thinking they might do the same to me. I don’t know how he managed to stay sane after something that bad, but I wouldn’t have been able to handle it like that. I was ready to do just about anything to keep from—”
Tandro’s words broke off before he went into details of what he meant, bringing Jake a good deal of relief. He’d been able to keep himself from remembering that he’d been forced to react like a frightened girl during that second switching, and even now he couldn’t do more than touch on the subject from a distance. The time had been so devastating that it was a miracle he hadn’t gone crazy…
“Hey, it’s all right,” Risdin said, putting a hand to Tandro’s shoulder in shared compassion. “That’s actually the worst part of being a strong man or woman. If you’re weak you just do as you’re told even if you don’t like it, thereby proving that you don’t have to be humiliated all that badly in order to obey completely. But the strong ones hold back part of themselves in spite of the drug, and the slavers always know the difference. And always do something to make them want to stop holding back. Sometimes that kind breaks rather than bends, which doesn’t make much sense to me. If you break and lose it completely, you can’t comfort yourself with the dream of escaping some day and finding a way to get even.” “I think you’re possibly the bravest person I’ve ever met,” Jake said to her with as good a smile as he could manage, speaking the truth.
“Backing down seems to be against my nature, even when it happens to be the sensible course of action. If I’d at least pretended to back down yesterday, Himlin probably wouldn’t have done what he did to me.”
“It might be a good idea to remember that for next time,” Risdin said with a much better smile than his. “In the meantime your food is getting cold, so you two eat up while I fetch the coffee. We have important things to do today.”
That reminded Jake of Tain’s “plan,” but before he could ask any questions Risdin turned and left the alcove. He tackled the food while he waited for the woman to come back, but even when she did he found he couldn’t question her. He didn’t understand why until he was almost finished eating, and if he hadn’t been so hollow he would have lost his appetite. Tain had told him that he didn’t yet need to know the plan, and that was what had kept him from questioning Risdin.
Heavier depression tried to crowd into Jake’s mind, but he banished it by forcing himself to anger. Risdin’s advice wasn’t easy to take, but he needed to be in real control of himself; knowing that he would be free in just a little while should keep him going, and once he was free…
Once he was back where he belonged and free of the drug he’d never have to see Ms. Tain Halliday ever again…
Tain awoke to the aroma of food, an aroma that made her returning appetite stir. When she opened her eyes she saw Risdin crouched beside her with a plate, a smile on the other woman’s face.
“If you weren’t ready to wake up I didn’t want to disturb you, so I just waved the food under your nose,” she said, making a small gesture with the plate. “We ought to have company at any time, so let’s get eating out of the way before they get here.”
“Good idea,” Tain agreed, sitting up and stretching a little before taking the plate. “But the next meal will be mine to make. You’ve already had more than your turn.”
“I’ll take cooking over sneaking around near slavers any day,” Risdin said with a small sound of scorn as she straightened up. “If I let you do the cooking then I might have to do the sneaking, so no thank you. I like this arrangement much better the way it is right now.”
Tain smiled as Risdin left the alcove, understanding that Risdin needed something to keep her busy. Waiting while other people risked themselves and your safety—was often harder than doing the risking personally, and having something to occupy your time also helped to save your sanity. If Risdin was happy with the way things were right now, Tain would not argue the arrangement.
It didn’t take long to eat the food and drink the coffee that had been put down next to the pallet, and then Tain got into her “clothes.” It still wasn’t time to get rid of the trappings of a slave, and thinking about how much she hated the costume helped to keep her thoughts away from Killen. She knew how unhappy he would be about what she’d done last night, and her best bet would be to add to that unhappiness without being obvious about it.
Tain was certain that Killen was the sort to risk himself for a woman he cared about, and that was the best reason to make sure he didn’t care. They still had some touchy situations ahead of them, and if Killen died trying to protect her it would be worse for Tain than if she died instead. She couldn’t get involved with the man without having her life fall apart, but that didn’t mean something inside her wouldn’t break if he were killed.
Taking a deep breath helped Tain regain control of the agitation that wanted to send her to Killen with an apology, and then she was able to leave the alcove and head toward the area given the men. She was a professional, after all, so her expression would be just what she wanted it to be. For as long as she had to have it that way…
Killen and Tandro sat talking quietly, neither of them noticing Tain when she stopped in the doorway. The empty plates and cups near their pallets said they’d already been given breakfast, which made one less thing to worry about.
“Good morning, you two,” Tain said, drawing their immediate attention. “You can get up and walk around and even put on your body cloths, but don’t try to leave this underground area. Risdin may have mentioned that we’re expecting the arrival of more of the women in her group, so you men will have to be as unobtrusive as possible. I don’t think I have to tell you why.”
“Some of them will hate us, and some of them will be afraid of us,” Killen said with a nod as he immediately reached for his body cloth. “I would have understood the point before yesterday, but now I really understand it.”
“What about the girl, Ennie?” Tandro asked as he also reached for his body cloth. “Is she safe? Is she likely to be with the females coming here?”
“I made sure she’d be safe before I went after you two,” Tain answered slowly, wondering about the odd expression Tandro seemed to be trying to hide behind easy calm. “As to whether or not she’ll be coming back here, I really don’t know. Why do you ask?”
“I’m the one who was supposed to be responsible for her,” Tandro answered evenly, but this time he avoided Tain’s gaze. “I’d really hate to be blamed if—something happened to her.”
“I see,” Tain murmured, well aware of the fact that she hadn’t demanded that the men tell her the truth. Oddly enough it hadn’t occurred to her that Tandro might actually have feelings for Ennie, but now that she thought back there were signs enough that her own problems hadn’t let her notice at the time. It was almost laughable that Ennie had decided no one cared about her when she was with a man who actually did care.
But Tandro’s been hiding his true feelings, and I don’t understand why,
Tain thought as she left the alcove and headed for the cooking area. If
Ennie has become more than just another female for him, why didn’t he say – Tain’s mental stewing stopped short when an answer came, an answer that should have been perfectly obvious. Tandro hadn’t said or done anything to show his true feelings because he knew Ennie wasn’t part of his world. The girl would only be on this planet for a short while, and then she would leave Tandro behind and return to her normal life. The native must have felt pitiful falling in love with someone he considered completely beyond his reach, but that was a typical male reaction. It had probably never occurred to him to ask Ennie how she felt about it…
Tain bypassed the cooking area and returned to her pallet to collect her plate and cup, then she joined Risdin where the other woman sat drinking coffee. After Tain refilled her own cup she spoke to Risdin about how the other women would be getting to the underground area, having wondered if her guess would turn out to be right.
“Yes, this tunnel goes all the way to a place in the woods beyond the town’s wall,” Risdin confirmed with a smile. “I’d love to say that we were the ones who dug it out, but all we did was find it. We think the tunnel and underground areas were made by the people who first got to this planet and were kept a secret from everyone but a few of those who lived in the house above here. The house must have been fairly big, but then something happened to it and what was left was made a part of the warehouse that replaced the house. Or so we think.”
“That explanation makes a lot of sense,” Tain agreed. “If everyone who knew about the tunnel died at the same time, the secret would have died with them. And by the time the warehouse was built, a lot of the old knowledge was lost along with certain memories. I wondered why the room holding the secret entrance looked more solid than the rest of the warehouse, and now I know. The new owner of the land who built the warehouse added to the rooms that had been left standing because the old rooms were better constructed than the new stuff.”
“Which made life a whole lot easier for us,” Risdin said with another smile. “If they’d knocked down the walls of the room above us they would have found the tunnel, and then we would never have been able to use all this.”
“How did your people find this?” Tain asked, a point she hadn’t tried to guess about. “With the release lever so far under the bottom of the cabinet, I can’t quite picture someone stumbling across it by accident.”
“It was the other end one of ours found,” Risdin supplied, no longer smiling. “The poor woman was an escaped slave with her owner not far behind her, which made her frantic for a place to hide. She literally tripped over part of the exit door in the woods, a rock door that looked like it was part of a very big boulder. She fell close enough to the door to see that the boulder wasn’t solid, and one touch showed her a handhold carved into the bottom of the door. She pulled on the handhold and the door opened right up, although it did stick a little after that. She managed to get into the tunnel and close the door again behind herself, and her owner never found her. She waited two days before getting up the courage to come out again, and she was almost dead when she stumbled into the area where our hideout is. Once she recovered she told us about the stone door, and the rest is history.”
“It was obviously a stroke of pure luck, good luck for you and bad for the men,” Tain said after taking another swallow of her coffee. “How soon do you expect the other women to get here? We can’t move until well after dark tonight, but I’d rather have things arranged early than at the last minute. And do you know if Ennie, the girl who was with me, will be coming back?”
“As I said, the women should be here at any time unless there were men in the area of the hidden entrance and they had to wait for the men to leave,” Risdin answered. “As far as that girl is concerned, though, Areen said she and Celene were going to try to make her stay at the hideout. The girl is hurt on the inside, and that’s never easy to heal.”
“The healing will hopefully be easier once we get her back where she belongs,” Tain said, making no effort to explain what was really bothering Ennie. Not being cared about was a lack the girl shared with a very large number of women on this world, but the fact that the lack of caring had been worse for the natives was not likely to be something that Ennie would want to consider.
“Let’s take a walk and see if we can meet the newcomers half way,” Risdin suddenly suggested as she got to her feet. “Just sitting around here is making me edgy, and I hate feeling edgy. And if you like, I have another smock you can wear.”
“I wish I could take you up on both your suggestions, but I’ll have to settle for just one,” Tain said as she also stood. “Going to meet your friends is fine, but I might as well stay in this outfit because I have to wear it when I go out tonight. People pay less attention to a slave or ignore her completely, and that attitude will make my job a lot easier.
Besides, if I put on a smock instead of this stuff, I probably won’t want to get into these things again.“
“That I can understand,” Risdin said, shaking her head as she looked at the costume Tain wore. “I wasn’t considered pretty enough to be put into an outfit like that, which made me pity the pretty ones instead of envying them… Well, let’s go meet our company.”
Risdin stopped outside the alcove to take a lamp and light it, and then she and Tain headed into the dark. A glance showed Tain that the men were dressed and moving around in their alcove, and then the living area was left behind. The lamp pushed the darkness away a bit, but there was still a heaviness and weight to the dimness that wasn’t often found aboveground.
If the walls and floor and ceiling all around her hadn’t been made of stone, Tain knew that she would be feeling extremely uncomfortable in their very necessary hideaway.
Tain was prepared for a long hike, but no more than five minutes after she and Risdin started to walk they saw the faint light of another lamp coming out of the darkness toward them. Risdin made a sound of satisfaction, but Tain didn’t relax until the approaching smudge of light showed that it was women who also approached. The fact that Risdin had apparently spent not a single moment wondering if the secret of the tunnel might have been found out made Tain a bit uneasy, but the suspicion on two of the faces coming toward them made her feel a bit better.
“Risdin, what’s wrong?” one of the suspicious ones called as soon as they all got a bit closer. “Why did you come to meet us?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Char,” Risdin answered with a small laugh. “Tain and I got tired of waiting for all of you, so we decided to come and meet you. What time of day is it outside?”
“When we entered the tunnel it was just about noon,” the woman named Char answered, her frown showing that her suspicion hadn’t been completely soothed away. “And if you needed more smocks, why didn’t you ask us to bring some?”
The closer the group got, the easier it was for Tain to see individuals. Char was a fairly tall, very beautiful woman, her outline under the smock she wore suggesting that her body was as attractive as her face. The only thing that didn’t fit with the rest was the look in Char’s eyes, a look of hatred and distrust that promised never to ease back or fade even a little.
“Tain doesn’t want a smock, not when she’ll have to get back into the tease again later,” Risdin explained, her tone filled with calm patience. “I know how much you hate to see one of us dressed in the tease, Char, but this time it’s necessary.”
“We’ll talk about it and see how necessary it really is,” Char returned, the small growl in her voice suggesting she meant to argue Tain’s decision. “First, though, I want to hear from your own lips that you actually brought men down into the tunnel. Some things can be forgiven, Risdin, but others can’t be.”
“But she didn’t bring men down into the tunnel,” Tain said when Risdin went very still and didn’t respond. “She brought down slaves to protect them, which is supposed to be one of the purposes of the tunnel, isn’t it?”
“Don’t you play with me!” Char snarled as she stepped closer to Tain, her face suddenly livid with rage. “Do you have any idea what I went through as a slave, what we all went through? It was men who did that to us, and I’ll die before I help any of them in any way at all!” “Then how about helping yourself?” Tain countered at once, knowing immediately that sympathy would be worse than slapping the woman. “As long as it’s possible for anyone to be enslaved, you and these others will have to hide out for the rest of your lives. If we can give the men a damned good reason for outlawing slavery completely, then all of you will be able to lead normal lives. Isn’t that end worth compromising your dedication just a little?”
“You can’t do that,” Char stated, the growl still in her voice, although at a lower intensity, the hatred still flaring in her light eyes. “You can’t make the men change their minds when they get so much enjoyment out of holding women as slaves. There isn’t a reason strong enough—”
“But there is,” Risdin interrupted, drawing that blazing gaze away from
Tain. “Did you miss hearing that the drug works on men as well as women, or did you simply refuse to believe? No matter how much a man enjoys having slaves, getting a taste of slavery himself will make him change his mind. And the best part is that we don’t have to do it to all men, just the ones who have enough power to outlaw slavery.”
“But all men deserve to be enslaved!” Char spat, her anger increasing rather than fading. “They’re all the same, all of them, and they deserve to be hurt just the way we were hurt! Don’t you understand—”
“Stop it!” Tain snapped, her tone sharp enough to startle the irate woman.
“It wasn’t all men who hurt you, so don’t waste our time trying to claim it was. By ending slavery we’ll hurt just the ones who do deserve your hatred, men who’ll remember how ‘good’ they had it before the change. When they find that no woman will do for them once she’s been freed they’ll suffer, but they’ll also have to be watched. Some of them could decide to force women back into slavery without the drug, and then they’ll be fair game. But only for someone who helped end slavery and became a free citizen again.”
Char’s beautiful face twisted with inner agitation, making Tain wonder if the woman was too far gone into her obsession for any sanity to be left.
There was no doubt that she’d been savaged more than once during her time as a slave, and all Tain could hope was that she’d been left enough … balance to let her achieve and enjoy actual freedom.
“Yes, if you can manage this then the ones like my owner will have to be watched,” Char muttered after a long hesitation, apparently talking to herself. “He’ll be one of those who tries to break the new law, and then I’ll be able to—Yes, I want it that way, and then I can stand there and laugh…”
“Now that that’s settled, let’s go and get all of you some coffee,” Risdin said to the others, all of them showing relief to one degree or another. Areen was there and so was Celene along with a third woman Tain didn’t know, and when Risdin touched Char’s arm to get her moving everyone followed. Char still seemed to be very involved with her thoughts, the smile on her face more than a little disturbing. Tain was about to go along with the others when there was a touch on her own arm.
“Tain, what’s wrong with her?” Ennie asked, nodding toward Char. The girl had been behind the other women, and Tain hadn’t seen her until the party began to move. Ennie also now wore a smock like the others, and her red armbands were gone. “Char was so … welcoming and warm when I was brought to her, but today… The closer we got to the tunnel the more she changed, and I don’t understand what’s happening.”
“I think it’s fear doing this to her,” Tain suggested after a moment’s thought, she and Ennie trailing along behind the others. “She’s trying not to admit to herself that she’s back in the town, but she knows well enough that she isn’t in her hideout any longer and she’s terrified. She shows fear by turning insanely angry, and if she can’t control herself I’ll have to have one or two of the others take her back out.”
“Is it true that the men were enslaved but you got them free?” Ennie asked, clearly changing a painful topic. “Why would you do something like that?”
“There are a couple of things I’m not able to tell you, but that doesn’t really matter now,” Tain said, her own anger soothed by the realization that she didn’t have to get around Killen’s orders not to tell Ennie that he worked for the department. All she had to do was order Killen himself to say what he’d forbidden Tain to talk about. “You’ll soon know what you need to, but what I can tell you is that both men are now under my control. Does that fact interest you in any way at all?”
“You know, I think it does,” Ennie answered slowly as she watched her feet, and then her gaze came up as she smiled. “I never thought of myself as a vengeful person, but maybe that was because I didn’t really have anything to get even for. Now that I do…”
“Most times getting even feels really good, but there are exceptions to just about every rule,” Tain commented, keeping her own expression bland as Ennie’s words trailed off into thoughtfulness. “While we’re walking, why don’t you think about whether or not you’d like to test the waters, so to speak? If you decide you’d like to give getting even a try, I can certainly oblige you.”
Ennie’s lips curved into a faint smile, but instead of speaking she just nodded. The girl looked better than she had, and Tain knew it would be interesting to see what her decision turned out to be.
Risdin and the others moved somewhat slowly ahead of Tain and Ennie, most of them engaged in soft-voiced conversation, so it took a little longer going back than it had coming out. When the larger group passed the men’s alcove everyone but Char glanced in at them, but no one stopped. They continued on until they reached the cooking alcove, and then they all disappeared inside. Ennie did a doubletake when she and Tain reached the men’s alcove, and the faint smile on her face widened just a bit. “I need to see if I can get something, and then I’ll be taking you up on your offer,” Ennie said as she paused and put a hand to Tain’s arm.
“Wait for me here, please.”
Tain nodded to show that she’d wait, then watched Ennie disappear into the cooking alcove before she turned to the two men who had come to the doorway of their area.
“You can’t give Ennie orders any longer, but I still don’t want either of you to even try,” Tain said to a curious Killen and a calm-faced Tandro. “She’ll be back in a minute, and when she returns, Tandro, you’ll obey everything she tells you to do. You, Killen, don’t have to obey her, but you also aren’t to interfere with her. You do, however, have to tell her what you didn’t let me talk about. Do both of you understand?”
The two men nodded, but their expressions had changed to ones that were almost identical. Both men were suddenly … concerned about what would happen, but neither looked actually worried. After all, Tain could almost see them thinking, it was Ennie they were talking about. What could a silly little girl do that would cause more than mild disturbance? Killen didn’t look happy about needing to tell Ennie something he hadn’t wanted her to know, but aside from that…
It wasn’t more than a couple of minutes before Ennie reappeared carrying a knife belt without the knife. It looked like she’d found the men’s possessions where they’d been put in the cooking room and had … borrowed one of those possessions. Tain suddenly knew exactly what Ennie meant to do, and was glad that the girl had chosen as well as she had. The belt wasn’t stiff or hard but it was leather, so it ought to do a fine job.
“Ennie, I do need to ask a favor before you get started,” Tain said softly, stopping the girl just short of the doorway into the alcove -out of sight of the men. “I’m going to need Tandro later, when he and Killen and I go out after our targets, so I’m afraid you’ll have to use a bit of restraint. Will you help me out with that?”
“Sure, Tain, glad to oblige,” Ennie answered with an amused smile.
“And don’t worry about me asking to go out with you three. I know I’m not up to something like that yet, so I’ll wait here with the others. And now I hope you’ll excuse me. I have some getting-even to do.”
Tain nodded and stepped back out of the way, making sure her surprise didn’t show on her face. Ennie had said she wasn’t up to rough stuff yet, a comment that was unexpected in two ways. The girl had admitted knowing she wasn’t properly trained, something she hadn’t done in the beginning, but apparently she meant to change that state of affairs. Later, she and Ennie would definitely have to sit down and talk.
But right now there was some getting-even to watch being done…
