Текст книги "Before Jamaica Lane"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

17

The following Saturday I huddled under an umbrella with Jo as we waited for Ellie and Joss to step out of the house on Scotland Street. The estate agent, Ryan, an ex-colleague of Jo’s from when she’d worked at Braden’s estate agency, Carmichael & Co., began talking to Ellie as Jo threaded her arm through mine.

Adam and Ellie had found a place they liked. The spacious Georgian flat had stripped wood floors, high ceilings, and period details. Any work that needed done was merely cosmetic. Ellie was in love, Adam really liked it, and Els wanted our opinion.

It was a resounding ‘yes’ from us girls.

Once Ryan left, Ellie grinned at us excitedly. ‘I’m so glad you guys like it. I really appreciate you coming out to see it.’ She started down the stairs and Joss rushed to get under her umbrella with her as we followed. ‘Especially you, Liv.’ She smiled curiously over her shoulder. ‘You’ve been so busy lately.’

I smiled back in response, hoping it wasn’t a slightly startled, panicked smile.

Jo squeezed my arm against her ribs. ‘It’s funny,’ she murmured so only I could hear, ‘but Nate’s been busy lately too.’

Forcing myself not to react, I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to lie outright, so that meant I was left with ignorant silence. In truth, we were five weeks into our lessons – could we call it lessons anymore? – and now I was getting a little desperate to talk to someone about what was going on with me and Nate. Jo was more experienced than I was about relationships, and men in general, and now I was at a point where I was so in need of advice that I wondered if I should let that need overshadow all the reasons I had not to go to her.

We came to an abrupt stop on the sidewalk as Joss’s cell rang. She fumbled in her purse for it and smiled apologetically at us as she answered.

Watching her was disconcerting. It was disconcerting because something I didn’t understand but definitely didn’t like entered her eyes. Growing pale, she muttered her thanks to whoever was on the other end of the line and let her phone dangle in midair as she stared off into space.

‘Joss?’ Ellie shook her gently, sensing what both Jo and I did.

Something was seriously wrong.

‘Joss, what is it?’

She blinked suddenly, and looked over at us, her eyes glassy with fear. ‘I have to go.’

‘Joss?’ Ellie took a step toward her as she began to back away. ‘Jocelyn?’

‘I have to go.’

‘Go where?’

‘I … just’ – she touched a hand to her forehead, turning paler by the second – ‘I have to go.’

‘Seriously, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?’

‘Ellie,’ she snapped, but as soon as her eyes clashed with her sister-in-law’s she softened. ‘Just … I need to be alone for a little while.’

After a moment’s thorough contemplation Ellie finally nodded. Silently, we watched as Joss turned on her booted heel and slowly walked away from us, her arms crossed over her chest, her chin tucked.

Ellie, Jo, and I shared concerned looks. ‘What. Was. That?’ I asked, feeling my stomach shift with unease.

Ellie didn’t answer as she pulled out her own cell with shaking hands. She flicked the screen a few times and began typing quickly.

‘What are you doing now?’ Jo looked down at Els’s phone, then turned her gaze back in the direction of where our friend had taken off.

‘Texting Braden to let him know.’

I burrowed closer to Jo to comfort her. ‘Does anyone know what that phone call could have been about?’

‘Not a clue.’ Ellie hugged herself, almost causing her umbrella to hit a person walking by. But Ellie wasn’t aware of anyone else at the moment, and her panic was making my unease increase. ‘But I haven’t seen Joss so guarded in a long time. It’s definitely not good.’

‘She’ll be okay,’ Dad reassured me, pulling me into his side for a hug.

After Ellie texted Braden she’d jumped in a taxi to go home to Adam, and Jo and I jumped in a taxi to head back to her flat. When we got there, the boys were back from judo class and we told them all what had happened with Joss. No one had a clue as to what it meant.

It was only afterward, as we were sitting around the living room, that I realized it was the first time in two weeks that Nate and I were in the same room with our friends. This time it felt weird. It felt weird because after I’d been watching four loving couples for the last few months it seemed to me that what Nate and I had wasn’t that different. Not only were we having mind-blowing sex, but we hung out, we talked about things that bothered us, we laughed … we snuggled. Nate joked and teased with me and stole my phone to take random snaps of me all the time.

We cared about each other.

A lot.

Hiding what we obviously had behind the excuse of lessons in sexual education and keeping it a secret was beginning to gnaw at my gut. Mostly because I knew Nate.

He wasn’t over needing to see that ‘A’ on his chest in the mirror every day, and I didn’t know if he’d ever be. It was becoming increasingly obvious to me that I was in danger of getting hurt.

Yet somehow I wasn’t smart enough to extricate myself from the situation.

A few times that afternoon I felt his eyes on me and it made me squirm uncomfortably, as if he could see inside me to exactly what I was thinking.

Soda Pop, if he knew what you were thinking he’d be out the door faster than a fugitive.

So when my dad called and invited me over for an early dinner I jumped at the offer, hurrying out of Jo and Cam’s with barely a good-bye to Nate.

Dad had thrown together marinated chicken, potatoes, and salad, and I sat on the stool next to him, picking at my food while he reassured me after I told him about the Joss incident.

I shook my head at his assurances. ‘You didn’t see her face. She looked … haunted.’

‘Braden found her, right?’

‘Yeah. Els texted to say he found her at the castle, where he thought she’d be.’

‘Well, we’ll just need to wait and hear from them.’

I nodded but kept pushing my food around my plate, my thoughts consumed by Joss and Nate.

‘You’ve lost weight,’ Dad commented. ‘Eat up.’

That was another upside to constant and active sex. I really had lost a few pounds and even toned up a little. Not that I could tell my dad the reason why. My cheeks burned just at the thought. ‘I’ve been really busy. Not a lot of time to eat.’

Dad raised an inquisitive eyebrow. ‘I have noticed these last few weeks you’ve been a little distant. Is it work keeping you busy?’

‘Yeah, work … and, you know, sometimes I help Nate out with his job as a reviewer.’

I caught the curl of his upper lip out of the corner of my eye. ‘Surely he’s getting paid to do that himself.’

‘He’s my friend, Dad,’ I warned.

‘I can’t help it. He’s twenty-eight years old and hasn’t bloody well grown up. He swans around taking photos and playing video games and watching movies, and he takes to bed anything that moves. That’s not a man, Olivia. That’s a boy. One that’s trouble. And I don’t like him sniffing around you.’

‘Hey, that’s enough!’ I snapped, my fork clattering to my plate.

Dad stared at my angry, flushed face in surprise.

‘You don’t know him,’ I said before he could reply. ‘You don’t know anything about him.’

‘Then enlighten me. What is it about this guy that you find worthy of your respect and time?’

‘He’s a good friend. A loyal, caring, compassionate friend.’

‘How? Why? What has he done?’

Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back, staring at the beautiful bay window that looked out over Heriot Row. I couldn’t quite meet my dad’s eyes as I admitted, ‘Last Thanksgiving I lied to you. I said I was okay, but I wasn’t.’ I felt the air around him thicken as he tensed. ‘When I left you I went home and went into a crazy meltdown. I cooked a turkey, potatoes, everything, but I burnt it and started to freak out. I mean … really freak out. Luckily, Nate was just dropping by and he caught me in the middle of it and he sat with me while I sobbed all over him about Mom.’ I chanced a glance at my dad and saw his jaw was taut, his eyes bright with sadness. ‘Nate was really there for me, Dad. And he got it. He got me. He lost the love of his life when he was eighteen.’ My voice cracked on the words ‘love of his life.’ ‘She died of cancer.’

‘Jesus.’ Dad bowed his head, drawing his hand down his face as though exhausted by the news.

‘They were childhood sweethearts and by all accounts she was pretty special. He hasn’t been the same since. You can’t tell anyone, Dad. He doesn’t talk about it.’

Dad looked at me, his gaze sharp. ‘Are you seeing him?’

My pulse started racing, my limbs shaking as I lowered my eyes. I couldn’t lie to my dad. I just couldn’t. ‘We’re not in a relationship, if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘Oh, baby girl.’ He groaned as if he was in pain. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing.’

Feeling tears inexplicably prick my eyes, I looked away and picked up my fork to play with my food again. ‘You can’t say anything. No one knows about us.’

‘And who am I going to tell?’

I smiled weakly at my plate. ‘Are you disappointed in me?’

‘No.’ His hand came down around mine, stilling my nervous movements. ‘But my girl deserves more than whatever you two are up to. You deserve to start making a life with someone. You deserve to be the love of some man’s life.’

Somehow I managed not to cry. Instead, I smiled brightly at him, pushing all the negative stuff into my deep, dark pit. ‘Believe it or not, Nate has taken me a hundred steps closer to finding that.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘You don’t need to, Dad. Just know that I’m better than I have been in a really long time.’

He studied me for a moment. ‘Okay. I’m glad, sweetheart.’

My phone rang, interrupting our heart-to-heart. Seeing Jo’s face on my screen, I reached for the phone hurriedly, as I realized she was probably calling about Joss. ‘Hey.’

‘Ellie just called,’ she said without preamble.

‘And?’

‘Joss is pregnant.’

I froze, frowning as I looked over at Dad. ‘Isn’t that good news?’

Jo sighed heavily. ‘I think it’s stirred up some ghosts, Liv.’

Understanding, I squeezed my eyes closed in empathy. ‘Her family?’

‘Aye.’ Jo’s exhalation was shaky. ‘Ellie says Braden’s pretty upset by Joss’s reaction. It’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life.’

I felt terrible for them. ‘They just got married. This whole time is supposed to be amazing for them.’

‘Yeah. Anyway, I knew you were worried, so I thought I’d let you know.’

‘Thanks, Jo. We’ll talk later.’

After we hung up, I turned to my waiting father. ‘Joss is pregnant.’

Dad looked just as confused as I’d felt at first. ‘That’s not a good thing?’

‘From the sounds of it, it’s opened some old, very painful wounds … about her family.’

‘Sometimes that happens. It’s just … something … triggers it. And you’re feeling everything all over again.’

I guess we understood that too. ‘I just hope she can get through it.’

‘She will.’ Dad sounded certain. ‘Braden’s her family. She’ll fight through it for him.’

I could only hope my optimistic father was right, because if anyone deserved happiness it was Joss and Braden Carmichael.

18

The trip to Longniddry could not have come at a better time. For Joss it meant she had a valid excuse to be antisocial, since more than half of her social crew had gone out of the city for the weekend, and for me it meant the hope of some much-needed clarity.

Spending time with Nate’s family, in an entirely different environment, would allow me to see him in a different light too. It also meant we would have to spend time without any shenanigans, and honestly I thought I was in need of a breather from it. Not because I wanted a breather, but because I was hoping that being free of his sexual spell would give me the courage to end what we’d started.

I really needed to end it.

Since Peetie had a car, he and Lyn drove there together, while Nate rented a car for him, me, Cam, Jo, and Cole to share. We’d all gotten the Friday off work and Cole had permission to take a day off school. Just after noon we set out, with Nate driving, Cam in the passenger seat, and Jo crowded in between Cole and me. By the time we drove through the main street of Longniddry with its cottages and flowers and traditional pub, I was dying to get out of the car. I’d rolled my window down and I could smell the sea air.

We pulled into a well-maintained housing estate and Nate drove up to a whitewashed house with a red roof. Peetie’s car was already parked on the drive. According to Nate, the house we were renting was only a few streets behind Cam’s parents’ home.

‘Nate did not consider the size of my ass when he hired this … whatever it is.’ I winced as I climbed out, the right side of my thigh and butt aching from having been squashed against the door.

Nate got out the driver’s side and grinned at me. ‘It’s a Nissan, because we’re on a budget.’

I raised an eyebrow. ‘A budget? My ass says there’s budget and then there’s just cheap.’ I rubbed my sore backside.

‘It wasn’t your arse that was the problem,’ Cole grumbled, rubbing his left side. ‘It was the bag that wouldn’t fit in the boot.’

We all stared at Jo as she fumbled around in the backseat, then hauled out a massive duffel bag. She glanced over her shoulder at us. ‘What? I didn’t know what the weather would be like, so I had to bring clothing choices.’

‘Tell that to my ass.’

Nate snorted at me and guided me to the trunk of the car. ‘Did I mention I appreciate how light you pack?’ He grinned at me as he lifted my backpack out of the car.

‘It’s two nights.’ I leaned around the car to see Cam helping Jo with her bag. ‘Did you hear that? Two nights.’

She scowled at me. ‘Look, Uncle Mick increased my wages and I may have gone a wee bit nuts buying some new clothes. I got a little overexcited about what to bring.’ She eyed Cam a little apologetically. ‘Sorry.’

He kissed the apology right off her lips. ‘Don’t apologize to me, baby. I could give a shit. Bring what you want.’ He grinned teasingly at me. ‘I’m not the one crammed in the back of the car with you.’

‘Shotgun!’ I shouted, perhaps more loudly than I needed to.

They all gazed at me like I was crazy.

‘Shotgun,’ I reiterated. ‘On the drive home, I call shotgun.’ When I got no answer, I huffed, ‘The rule is, the first person to say “shotgun” gets to ride in the front passenger seat.’

Cam frowned. ‘Oh, that rule doesn’t translate here. Sorry.’

I narrowed my eyes at him. ‘But apparently some misogynistic silent rule that the eldest men in the group get to ride in front does?’

Cam slanted a teasing look at Jo. ‘You had to make friends with a feminist?’

Jo grunted. ‘You’re the one who tracked her down on Facebook.’

‘Nice. I’m feeling the love, guys, I’m feeling the love.’ I brushed past them and shoved at Cam. ‘I’m riding shotgun.’

‘No. You are not.’

‘Oh, yeah?’ I stopped and turned back to look at Nate, who had gotten all the bags out of the trunk and was locking up. ‘Nate?’

He glanced up at me casually but stilled at the smug little smirk on my lips. ‘Yes?’ he asked warily.

‘Who is riding shotgun with you on the trip home? Cam … or me?’ If you don’t say me I will forget you even have a penis.

He got the message and threw Cam an apologetic look as he walked past us toward the house. ‘Sorry, mate. She called shotgun.’

Triumphant, I followed Nate to the house and as he let the two of us in he whispered in my ear, ‘Sexual manipulation … pick that up on your own time, did you?’

I gave him a wide-eyed look of mock innocence as I wandered inside. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

He slapped my ass playfully and I turned, giggling up into his face as he grinned down into mine. A throat clearing pulled us up short and we glanced sharply over my shoulder to see Peetie and Lyn standing in the doorway to the sitting room. Lyn’s curious gaze shifted between me and Nate, while Peetie’s stone-faced expression was focused solely on his best friend.

Cursing myself to hell for not being more circumspect, I pretended the intimate moment between me and Nate was nothing and hurried forward to give Peetie and Lyn a hug.

Cole, Jo, and Cam followed us inside the house, and the ‘incident’ was thankfully forgotten as we looked around the cozy rental and chose our rooms. There were four bedrooms, so Jo and Cam, Lyn and Peetie each took a double room, Nate and Cole took the double twin room, and I took the small twin room. Cole disappeared into their room to dump his bag while Nate pointedly looked between their room and mine and pouted comically.

‘No sex for you,’ I mouthed.

‘Aye, well, that means no sex for you either.’ He did not mouth it; he just said it out loud.

My eyes bugged out as he laughed and darted into his room to escape my wrath.

Was he trying to get us caught?

The pub on the main street of Longniddry was typical – exposed brickwork, massive open central fireplace, solid wood tables that had seen many a year, matching chairs, and wooden benches trimmed in red fabric hugging the perimeter of the room. Seated around one of the larger tables, with a Tudor-style window behind us, I found myself happily situated between Nate and Cole on a bench. At the head of the table was Nate’s dad, Nathan. Nathan was an older version of Nate – same thick, unruly hair, once dark, now salt and pepper, same twinkling dark eyes, same olive skin, same dimples, same build. Same overall charm and masculine beauty. Across the table from Nate sat his mother, Sylvie. I could tell Sylvie must have been a knockout when she was my age because she was still very pretty. She had dark hair that she kept long, bright blue eyes, and soft features. She was small in stature and slender.

Nate’s behavior with his parents somehow surprised me. When we walked into the pub and they stood up to greet us, Nate threw his arms around his mom and lifted her off her feet. Once he was done with her, he and his dad hugged each other hard, grinning happily into each other’s face as they pulled back. Nate introduced us, and Cam introduced us to his parents, Helena and Anderson, before Peetie introduced us to his aunt and uncle, Rose and Jim – they’d raised him when their too young niece had decided to give him over in adoption.

Once we were seated, it became clear to me that Nate was incredibly close to his parents. This was something I hadn’t known. I knew he loved them. I knew there were no problems there, but considering he rarely went home to see them … well, I didn’t know what I thought. I just didn’t think they were best friends. Clearly I was wrong.

The two of them were especially kind to me, asking me lots of questions. His dad in particular was possibly even more charming than Nate. There were so many of us at the table it was hard to carry on just one conversation, so we’d split into separate conversations. I, for one, was happy to get a little more insight into Nate.

‘He used to have this toothbrush he took everywhere,’ Nathan divulged as Sylvie laughed.

‘A toothbrush?’

Nate groaned. ‘I can’t believe you’re telling her the toothbrush story.’

Nathan ignored him, grinning devilishly and so much like Nate that I was mesmerized. ‘You know, with most kids it’s a blanket or a teddy bear. With Nate it was a toothbrush. And not the toothbrush he used. Just a toothbrush he cried and begged his mum to get him from the supermarket.’

I was choking on my laughter now. ‘A toothbrush?’ I repeated, shooting a look at Nate, who was now pretending not to listen. I wondered how it was possible a man could be so sexy and yet so adorable all at the same time.

‘It had a yellow handle with a smiley face on it,’ Nathan continued. ‘He took it everywhere with him. He even took it to bed with him. He’d fall asleep with it clutched in his wee hand. We have photographic evidence.’

I laughed and Nate turned to me, shaking his head. ‘He thinks he has photographic evidence.’

Sylvie gasped. ‘You better not have done anything with those photos, Nathaniel Sawyer, or you’ve had it.’

Nathan saved his son by turning to me. ‘Nate told me your dad is Scottish.’

‘Yup. He’s originally from Paisley.’

‘Has he shown you much of Scotland?’

‘Some. We visited a few years ago and he took me north, I think past Inverness. Since we moved here we’ve been to a couple of places. The western highlands. Oh, and I wanted to see where Robert Burns was from, so he took me south to Alloway, and then we drove right to the border, to Gretna Green. I read a lot, so I’d read about it being the place where abducted heiresses and young English couples forbidden to marry would flee because the marriage laws in Scotland allowed them to marry without parental consent. I wanted to see it. It sounded pretty cool.’

‘You’re a librarian, right?’ Sylvie asked with a smile.

The food arrived at that point, so it wasn’t until my hearty fish and chips – that would do nothing for my belly pouch but add a little more cushion – had been served that I answered her. ‘Yeah, at the university.’

‘Do you have a boyfriend then, Olivia?’ Nathan asked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Trying not to squirm at the question or the feel of Nate’s leg tensing against mine, I shook my head quickly and took another bite of food so I would have an excuse not to answer.

‘You’re a beautiful girl.’ Nathan frowned, seeming flummoxed. ‘There’s no one?’

‘She’s choosy.’ Nate saved me. ‘As well she should be.’

‘Well, there’s no such thing as perfect. Sometimes you just have to take what’s there. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?’ Sylvie winked at her husband teasingly, and suddenly I knew where Nate had gotten the ability to make a wink look cool.

Nathan gave her a droll look and turned back to me. ‘Sylvie’s right. You’ll end up living a lonely life if you’re waiting around for perfect.’

I was about to laugh at the well-meaning but overly personal interest they’d taken in my love life within thirty minutes of meeting me when Nate said quietly, ‘Liv’s perfect. She’s deserves perfect. She won’t be settling for anything less.’

It could have been funny. Sweet. Teasing. But there was an intensity about the way he said it that drew the three of us up short. Nathan and Sylvie studied their son with curiosity before turning that attention to me. I dipped my head, my cheeks burning, wondering if we were going to get through this weekend without Nate giving us away.

I was angry with him. And not about his little slips here and there.

I was angry because what he’d just said was utterly beautiful. Looking at him caused a dart of pleasure-pain to hit me in the chest. My blood heated, my fingers curling into little fists. He was making me fall for him.

That wasn’t supposed to be part of the deal.

In an effort to slow my descent, I turned to Cole and started chatting with him and thus found myself in conversation with Cam’s dad, Andy. Andy was a quiet, reserved man who got along really well with Jo’s little brother. As soon as I showed interest in local history, Andy opened up, a veritable fount of information. I was glad for it, glad for the distraction.

The meal wore on, and as conversations collided and beer kicked in, we got louder and louder. It soon became clear to me that Nate, Cam, Peetie, and their families were all very close. There were bonds here that I’d already witnessed from spending time with the guys, but seeing them with their parents made it clear that those bonds were solid. They were forever. I didn’t know if the fact that the guys didn’t have siblings factored into that somehow. It certainly factored into their friendships with each other.

I’d never had anything like that. I’d had my mom, and she had a few close friends. Then Dad came along and all I needed was him and Mom. For some reason or other I’d never had a best friend the way the guys had each other. There weren’t any family get-togethers, although there had always been someone coming in and out of the house because Mom was always helping someone and Dad was always doing a favor for someone else.

Still, I’d never thought I needed anything like this until I moved to Edinburgh and was enfolded into the lives of these warm, down-to-earth people. They’d done the same for Joss, and Joss had done the same for me, even going so far as to make me a bridesmaid in her wedding.

I decided then as Nathan, Andy, and Jim split the bill that when I got back from Longniddry I was going to pay Joss a visit. She’d been there for me. I needed to be there for her too.

Overall, the meal had left me feeling strangely melancholy, so I was relieved that the guys were in such high spirits. They’d had a few pints with dinner, and after saying good night to their families, they’d walked us back to the house, where they immediately pulled beers out of the fridge.

Two hours later they were still enjoying their freedom from the usual responsibilities and were a little drunk. After Peetie proclaimed that there was no way either Cam or Nate could take him down using a judo move, the two of them had looked up at their massive rugby-playing friend and taken on the challenge. I should have stopped them. Someone was going to get hurt, but since Jo and Lyn were sitting laughing in the corner and not doing anything about their men, I decided I wasn’t going to intervene on Nate’s behalf either.

I wandered into the kitchen and found Cole putting out some snacks.

‘Hey.’ I nudged him as I sidled up next to him. ‘Have they made you one of the catering staff now?’

Cole smirked. ‘I thought I better get out of Dodge.’

‘Smart kid.’ I picked up some peanuts. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t asked one of us to sneak you a beer yet.’

As soon as I said it, his face got all pinched and I cursed myself for being such an idiot.

‘I’m not really that interested in the stuff, to be honest.’

Of course he wasn’t. He had an alcoholic parent.

Way to go, Olivia.

‘Sorr –’

‘While Cam is pounding Peetie’s face into the rug I would like some food.’ Nate wandered in, his eyes a little brighter from the beer, his cheeks flushed. His eyes dropped from me to the snacks, and he skirted the table, pressing against my side as he reached for a bowl of chips. With his other hand he caressed my bottom.

I tensed, my eyes darting to Cole, whose own gaze was fixed on my ass. He glanced up at me, caught my look, and immediately scowled.

Shit.

Nate grinned at us both, completely unaware that he’d been caught. He sauntered out of the kitchen without a care in the world, leaving me and Cole in a staring match.

I suddenly felt like the teenager in the situation.

Exhausted, I lowered my gaze and sighed heavily. ‘I’m going to bed.’

Lying in bed that night I stared at the ceiling, listening to the laughter filtering up from downstairs. The noise, plus my stressing, was a kind of hindrance, and it took me a long time to fall asleep. Eventually, I assured myself that Cole wouldn’t tell anyone what he saw. The caress wasn’t evidence of anything but Nate’s inability to not flirt with an available woman.

Right?