Текст книги "Out of the Shallows"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Out of the Shallows
Into the Deep – 2
Samantha Young

1

Lanton August 2013

The heady scent of flowers filled the room. These days it clung to everything. Even after I washed my hands a dozen times, they still smelled as if I’d doused them in floral perfume.

“That’s pretty.”

I turned from the arrangement of red roses and white lilies to find Claudia gesturing to it. I glanced back at the flowers. “I think I’m getting the hang of it. Finally.”

“Whose it for?”

“It’s Hub’s. For his wife. Their fifteenth anniversary.”

Claudia nodded. “Heart of mush underneath that bear-like exterior, huh?”

I grinned. Hub owned the local diner in my small hometown of Lanton, Indiana. He was a huge guy with an even huger beard and gruff demeanor, and I could see why non-locals might find him slightly intimidating. But Claud was right. Hub was all heart. “He placed this order over a month ago. That is not a man who forgets his anniversary.”

My friend smiled and then gestured behind her into the store front of my mother’s florist shop. “I rearranged the shop window like you asked.”

Delia’s was the only florist in town, and although Lanton wasn’t huge, she kept fairly busy. She’d had a mold issue in the back room where I was working on floral arrangements, but after spending money my parents really couldn’t afford to spend to fix it, Delia’s was up and running again.

If only I could be one hundred percent positive that Delia, my actual mom, was up and running too.

“Thanks. If I don’t tell you enough, I really appreciate you being here.” Once Claudia had finished at the University of Edinburgh, she’d rushed back to the States, suitcase in tow, and moved in with my parents and me. She’d been here the whole summer, helping us out during one of the worst times of my family’s life.

“You can stop saying that now. I might have to hurt you if you don’t.”

I smirked. “Fine.”

Claudia frowned as she glanced around us. “Uh… where is Delia Mom, anyway?”

Mom was at the cemetery. It was becoming a regular hang out for her. I found myself hunching back over the arrangement as I murmured, “Where else?”

“Ah. Okay.” Claudia sighed. “So, Lowe called me this morning.”

I didn’t answer.

“He says he’s tried calling you.”

Shrugging with more nonchalance than I felt, I said, “I know. I just… I haven’t spoken to Jake, so I don’t think it’s right if I speak to Lowe.”

“Lowe’s your friend.”

“No, Lowe is Jake’s friend. I’ve hurt Jake enough without confiding in his friend when I won’t confide in him.”

I reached for more filler foliage. Claudia’s hand curled around mine, stopping me. “The arrangement is done.”

Turning to her, I said, “I get the feeling you want to talk.”

“Charley, school starts back up in a week. Are you ready?”

“No. But I’m trying to be.”

“We’re going back to the old apartment, and it’s senior year so we’ll have tons on our plates to keep us busy. You’ll get to see Alex again, too. This will be good.”

I looked away, worrying my lip between my teeth. After a moment of silence, I said softly, “Do you really think they’re okay for me to go? Mom still visits the cemetery every day and Dad… he’s still mad at me.”

Claudia’s eyes were filled with sympathy but I could also see determination in them. “Maybe Delia is still visiting the cemetery but that doesn’t mean she’s not good. She’s much better, Charley. She can cope on her own here now. And Jim… he loves you. He’ll come around when you come around.”

“Don’t,” I warned, definitely not wanting to walk into that territory.

She held her hands up in surrender. “I won’t. But are you ever planning on talking to Jake again?”

I glowered at her. “What is this? Piss-Off-Charley Day?”

“No, this is ‘It’s time to get back to normal and start facing up to the decisions you’ve made these last few months Day.’ Such as the one you made regarding a certain Jacob Caplin?”

A familiar pain sliced across my chest, but I refused to give into it. Instead I brushed past Claud to grab a broom and started on the back room floor. “Then no, I don’t plan on talking to Jake again. It’s over. We’re just going to leave it at that.”

Claudia inhaled sharply. “You’re just going to leave him hanging, wondering where it all went wrong?” She sounded horrified. Guilt crashed over me.

I shoved it forcefully aside. “We’ve hurt each other too much. How can we possibly come back from that?”

“You could try.”

“Like you’re trying with Beck?”

Her elegant brows drew together. “That’s different.”

“Claudia—”

“But I’ll drop it. For now.”

* * *

Somewhere along the way I think people got the wrong impression about me. I think I got the wrong impression about me. I don’t know if it was that time I shoved my sister out of the way of a moving vehicle, taking the impact instead, and I got the nickname Supergirl. Or maybe it’s my general cockiness.

Whatever it is, I think people think I’m this fearless, brave, independent young woman who couldn’t give a shit what other people think.

I really couldn’t give a shit what other people think.

But I care what my parents think of me. And I’m afraid of losing them.

So not fearless. So not brave. And I guess not nearly as independent as I used to think I was.

When you’re a kid, your whole happiness is wrapped up in your parents. A hug from them, a kiss on the forehead, a piggyback ride, their laughter, their kind words, their affection, their love… it took away a hurt knee, or a classmate’s name-calling, or the death of a beloved pet. As long as I knew my parents loved me, that I made them proud, and that I had their respect, I’d been all right.

That feeling never really goes away, though. It’s amazing how easy it is for a parent to make you feel like a little kid all over again.

That’s how I’d been feeling around my family for months now… like a kid craving my parents’ love and respect. Lately, for the past few months, I felt like they were nothing but disappointed in me. Especially my dad.

Later that day, after Mom came back from the cemetery and helped Claudia and I finish out the day, we went home to make dinner. My dad, a mechanic, owned auto shop. He got in from work not too much later and soon we were seated around the dining table.

A familiar silence fell.

The clinking of cutlery off plates, glasses against cutlery, the rustle of napkins, the crunch of bread, it amplified the quiet. We didn’t have a whole lot to say to each other these days.

I was surprised when Dad asked, “You thought any more on taking that exam you need to pass to get into law school?”

I looked over at Claudia, her eyes rounded at Dad’s question. I shocked her by replying, “I’m taking the LSATs this fall, Dad.”

Claudia’s eyes bugged out. “You are?”

She had taken the LSATs in June and passed, but she was under the impression that I was done with pursuing law school.

Feeling my parents’ gazes burning into my cheeks, I nodded. “I am. As long as I take them in time for February results, I can apply to start law school next fall.”

“I’m pleased to hear it. I’m sure Claudia will help you study,” Dad said.

Our eyes met and for the first time in months, Dad’s were almost tender. He was genuinely pleased. To him I was making the right decision.

I didn’t know if it was the right decision to apply for law school instead of applying to the police academy like I wanted to. That was probably why I hadn’t mentioned anything to Claudia about my decision—I didn’t want someone talking me out of it. The truth was I’d made the decision based on what was best for my family.

“So am I.” Glancing over at Mom, I saw tears shining in her eyes as she smiled at me.

Yeah, totally the best decision for my family.

It gave them peace of mind, and they needed that more than I needed to be a cop.

Claudia bravely queried, “Are you sure that’s what you want, Charley?”

“Of course.” I gave her a tight smile.

Dinner was less awkward than usual after that. Mom and Dad actually engaged in conversation and afterward, instead of shooing me off when I attempted to help clean up, Mom let me.

I followed her into the kitchen and piled the plates near the trash. As I began scraping off the leftovers Mom said, “I’m proud of this decision, Charlotte.”

I glanced over at her. “Yeah?”

She smiled, her eyes misting. They did that a lot these days. Mom had never been a big crier before… well, before… but she welled up at the slightest thing now. “I have to admit it’s been playing in the back of my mind these last few months—you going off to the academy after graduation. Going into the police. It’s not like I haven’t always known you could take care of yourself. Even when you pushed Andie out of the way of Finnegan’s SUV, I worried for about half a second until I saw you. Your leg covered in a cast, bruises all over, and you grinned at us when we walked into that hospital room. All cocky. If that had been Andie, it would’ve shaken her up more. She was a mess after it happened. She followed you around for weeks. It drove you nuts.”

Just like that, a lump formed in my own throat and I turned away, trying to swallow past the collection of mounting tears. “I remember,” I whispered.

“I didn’t want you to be a cop. But before this summer, I felt guilty for pressuring you into not going for it. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for a phone call in the night to tell me that my daughter had been killed just doing her job. But more than that, I didn’t want my kid to resent me for holding her back. For not supporting her.

“But then Andie…” She pushed away from the counter and walked toward me. She stopped and reached out to take my hand. “I know it’s selfish to ask you to give up the academy. I know it. I don’t know if you really want to take the LSATs or if you’re just saying it to please your dad and me. If I were a stronger woman, I’d tell you to go for it. Go for your dream. But I’m not. I’m happy you’re not applying to the academy. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. Please don’t hate me.”

“I get it. That’s why I’m not doing it.”

“Do you really want to be a lawyer, though? Because you don’t have to be.”

I grinned wryly. “I can’t give Dad what he really wants. For the first time in my life, I’ve disappointed him—”

“Charley—”

“No, Mom, you know it’s true. I wish I were stronger too. But I’m not, so this is all I can give right now. He’s always wanted me to be a lawyer. I’m taking the LSATs.”

Mom’s grip on my hand tightened. “One day we’ll be us again.”

God, I hoped so because right now I really missed my dad and I really missed Andie.

The tears spilled down my cheeks and I turned away, trying to focus on the dishes. Mom gave me space.

Just as her footsteps disappeared out of the kitchen, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My stomach flipped unpleasantly at the name on the screen.

Another missed call from Jake.

That would be one a day since I’d left Edinburgh.

Like clockwork the text message came after it.

You know the drill…

Despite the fact that I never answered his calls, Jake kept trying, hoping for the day I’d change my mind. Six weeks ago, when it became clear I wasn’t going to answer his calls or texts, he’d sent me a message asking me to at least let him know I was all right. So I did. Every day since, he’d wanted to know at least that.

Brushing the remaining tears from my cheeks, I replied.

I’m okay.

I never asked him if he was okay. There was so much guilt weighing on me, I was taking the coward’s way out with Jake. I’d hurt him. I knew that. I just didn’t want to hear him say it.

Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I thought how ironic it was that only a few short months ago, I’d made him work his ass off to make up for the way he broke up with me when he was seventeen. Over four years later I’d hurt him just as badly. I’d promised myself I’d never hurt anyone the way Jake hurt me.

What a difference a few months can make.

2

Edinburgh February 2013

“…you against my fallow heart. There’ll be no sympathy from me, my friend. I lost you out in the shallows…”

For the past twenty minutes I’d been successfully working on a tutorial project, my laptop open on the table, beer beside it, while my friends sat around me listening to indie rock band The Stolen.

We were in Milk, a bar on the Cowgate, an area of Edinburgh where my fellow Americans and I were living while doing a year abroad at the University of Edinburgh.

Luckily for me, I was the kind of girl who could drown out a live rock band and a noisy crowd in order to complete classwork I forgot was due the next day. I could’ve stayed back at my apartment, but I had unpleasant business to take care of there later so I was avoiding having to spend any more time there than necessary.

This hadn’t been a problem until my friend Lowe, lead vocalist of the band began singing my favorite song, “Lonely Boy.” Since the moment I’d heard it months ago during their first set in Scotland, it’d struck a chord. And every time I heard it, it pulled me in.

I turned my head from my laptop screen to look up at the small stage. Lowe, a hot, smart musician with tattoos, a lip ring, and messy dark hair, caught my movement and focused on me, his eyes smiling over the top of his rimless glasses.

I gave a small smile back and picked up my beer, listening to his song.

Lowe told us that he was never more honest than he was when he wrote a song. In response, my boyfriend Jake had joked about me writing a song for him. The joke fell flat because the truth was I wasn’t being open enough with him. I was keeping a part of myself from Jake. Tonight was supposed to be a step forward for us—a big step for me, but one I felt I had to take if we had any hope of holding onto a relationship.

I’d been feeling nervous but okay about it. Until Lowe and his freaking song.

As if he’d guessed where my mind had wandered, Jake rested his chin on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me against his chest. “Where are you right now?” he asked, his lips tickling my ear.

I shivered and turned my head slightly so his lips touched my cheek. “I’m right here.”

“Why does this song get to you?”

I jerked, staring into his gorgeous face in surprise.

Jake smiled slightly, his dark eyes warm and knowing. “I pay attention.”

“You’re a know-it-all.”

His white teeth flashed. “Only when it comes to you. When a subject really interests me, I give it my unwavering focus.”

“Are you saying you’re an expert on me?”

His eyes lowered and I felt his grip loosen. “Hopefully one day you’ll let me be.”

Not knowing how to answer, I looked back at the stage. For the last few days, since we’d started a physical relationship, the uneasiness that existed beneath the surface had only increased. It wasn’t borne of not wanting one another. Far from it. No, I was holding out on an emotional level and Jake was trying to be patient, which wasn’t his strong suit.

All in all, it had created a sense of fragility between us.

I relaxed against his hold, brushing my fingers over his knuckles.

“Beck, show us your pecs!” a pretty brunette at the next table shouted over the music. I smirked at the scowl my girl Claudia shot her way.

Beck was Jake’s best friend. He was also now one of Claudia’s best friends. As lead guitarist, Beck stood at the front of the stage with Lowe. He was absurdly attractive, tall and blond, with lethal gray eyes and an even more lethal smile. Beck was everything you’d expect from a rock band, with his sleeve tattoos on one arm, lazy-ass sense of style, and a way with women. He oozed sex and charisma more than anyone I’d ever met in my life, but I knew there was more to him than the whole bad-boy thing he played up. I knew this because I’d seen how different he was around Claudia. He wanted to be devoted to her in a way he wouldn’t even admit to himself, which was probably why he was eye-fucking the brunette at the next table.

Catching the look, Claudia downed her drink and turned away from the band. Rowena, our Scottish friend who we suspected was sleeping with the bassist, Denver, brushed her bright purple hair out of her eyes to exchange a worried glance with me.

Claudia was erratic around Beck.

I knew she was attracted to him, but I had my suspicion, as did every person in our group with the possible exception of Beck, that Claudia was in love. However, one minute she pretended to be fine about his manwhorish ways, and the next she looked like she wanted to find a corner to cry in.

I nudged her arm and she looked up at me with sad, stunning green eyes. Did I mention she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever met in real life and one of the coolest, funniest, kindest girls to boot? Did I mention Beck was an idiot?

“Do you want to go?”

She glanced back at the stage, glowered (which, in all honesty, I preferred to the sad puppy-dog look), and turned to me. “Yeah, if you’re ready.”

“You’re leaving?” Jake leaned into me again.

“It’s either that or I kill your best friend.”

Jake looked over at Beck and gave a slight shake of his head. “He needs to pull his head out of his ass.”

“Yup. Before then, though, I’m going to head back to the apartment with Claud.”

“Want me to come?”

I heaved a shaky sigh. Time to admit what I was up to tonight. “I actually have a thing tonight. A telling-Mom-and-Dad-about-me-and-you thing…”

Jake’s eyebrows rose. “Did I hear that right over the music?”

I cupped his face in my hands, feeling the slight bristle prickle my skin. Playfully, I rubbed my nose against his, smirking. “You might want to watch what you say next. I’m feeling a little nervous right now. I might back out.”

In answer, I felt the soft press of Jake’s mouth against mine. My lashes fluttered closed and my lips parted for his soft, sweet kiss. My mouth tingled as he drew back.

“I’m also telling them about the academy.”

For that, I got another kiss, but instead of drawing back afterward, Jake pulled me into a hug. I melted against his strong chest, my hands resting on the hard muscles of his back. He smelled great, and the strength in his arms as they held me to him made me feel safe.

In that moment all my worries disappeared. I felt the traitorous compulsion to open my mouth and whisper those three little words.

“You ready to go?” Claudia’s loud question stopped me in the nick of time.

Pulling reluctantly out of Jake’s hold, I said, “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “Thanks for doing this for me. It means a lot.”

My throat clogged with emotion so I flashed a cheeky grin to cover it. “I’m doing it for us.” I stood and shoved my laptop and notes into my backpack.

Jake’s hand curled around my thigh and I glanced down to see him staring up at me, unable to hide the uncertainty in his eyes. “You’ll call me afterward?”

“If it’s not too late.” I bent down and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. “See you tomorrow.”

I said goodbye to Rowena as Claudia moved through the busy room toward the barroom. When I turned back to wave goodbye to the guys, I got a chin nod from Lowe but nothing from Beck. He was too busy watching Claudia leave, a little furrow between his brows.

She hadn’t bothered to say goodbye to him and at this point, I didn’t blame her.

Outside the bar, Claudia wrapped her arms around herself, her long dark hair blowing wildly behind her. She had a remote expression on her face I didn’t like. Not one bit. Ignoring my own nerves over the conversation I was about to have with my parents, I strode forward and linked my arm through hers.

She smiled absentmindedly at me as we walked toward the apartment.

“So,” I said, “last weekend you and Beck seemed fine. You seemed to have come to terms with how things are between you, and you were nervously excited about taking him with us to Barcelona to meet your father.”

Claudia’s parents were wealthy, self-indulgent, neglectful socialites from Coronado, California. They had no time for their daughter. Over Christmas break, Claudia found out why her dad was particularly indifferent. Turns out he wasn’t her real father. Her real father was a British artist called Dustin Tweedie. In an effort to make some kind of amends, Claud’s mom had tracked him down. He lived in Barcelona and Claud’s mom was going to pay for Claudia to fly out there this spring to meet him—with Jake, Beck, and me in tow for moral support.

Claudia tightened her grip. “I was. But that was last weekend.”

“What happened between then and now?”

“I wrote an email to Dustin two days ago.” She wouldn’t look at me, and anger burned hotly in my blood at the sight of her throat working against emotion. “I still haven’t heard anything back.”

Having no idea what it felt like to be the recipient of not one, not two, but three indifferent parents, I really didn’t know what to say. “It’s only been two days.”

Two of our neighbors called out to us and we waved back. As soon as they were gone, Claudia shrugged. “Does it matter? I should just face it now. He won’t want me coming out there and interrupting his life.” Her laugh sounded hollow. I hated it. She wasn’t meant for bitter. “Let’s face it, Charley. I’m missing whatever that thing is that makes men care.”

Stunned, I stopped outside our courtyard gate. “That’s not true.”

She pulled away. “I can’t even look at you. You would never let them make you feel like this.”

“Uh, hullo.” I waved my hand in front of her face. “Were you not here these past few months, watching me wallow in self-pity over a certain handsome young man with the surname Caplin?”

She snorted but still wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Claud, we’re allowed to have bad days, okay? Today is a bad day for you. That’s all. This shit with your parents is not going to change you. Please don’t let it.”

“And Beck?”

I cared about Beck, I did. And I know he cared deeply for Claudia, but right now it wasn’t enough for her and I felt like we’d had this conversation one too many times. “I think maybe you had the right idea last week.”

“Cutting him out a little?” She shrugged. “He got all broody about it and I caved.”

“Well, this time, don’t cave.”

She shot me a droll look as we walked toward our building. “Oh really? It’s that easy.”

“Okay, maybe not. Maybe you just need a distraction.”

“A distraction?”

“Yeah.” I thought of the one thing that had distracted me while Jake was dating Melissa. I grinned. “You need Lowe.”

“Um, I like the guy and all, but I am not sleeping with Lowe.”

“I’m not talking about sex.” I gave her my most serious look. “Believe it or not, Lowe is an incredibly insightful, compassionate, patient guy. He’s a really good friend to have on your side.”

“Jesus, does Jake know you’re half in love with his friend?”

“I am not in love with Lowe. He was just there when I needed him. You should hang out with him. Seriously. Oh, and don’t say shit like that in front of Jake.”

She grinned mischievously and the uneasiness I felt dissipated. This was more like Claudia. “Does Mr. Caplin have a jealous streak?”

“Yes. It’s almost as wide as mine,” I grumbled.

“And you’re positive my hanging out with Lowe won’t incite your jealousy?”

I considered it, letting her walk into the apartment ahead of me. It wasn’t too long ago I’d had a crush on Lowe, but that’s all it was or ever would be. What I felt for Jake… it burned in my very depths. No one had ever come close to making me feel what I felt for him.

He was my missing puzzle piece.

“Nope,” I finally concluded. “He’s sexy as sin and I like him, but he doesn’t come close to Jacob.”

“Aww, Jacob,” she teased.

“Please don’t start calling him that.”

“Oh, I believe you started it.”

“Great. He’ll kill me.”

Claudia laughed, coming to a stop outside her door. Her laughter melted into a smile. “Thanks for making me feel better.”

“You’re my family. I hurt when you hurt.”

Tears shimmered in her eyes. “Dude!” She shook her head as she unlocked her door. “This mascara is not waterproof!”

The door slammed shut in my face and I burst out laughing. “Good night, then!” I moved slowly to unlock my own door.

Once inside, I felt the butterflies come back to me with a vengeance. Fighting through the nerves, I hurried to set up my laptop on my desk, plugging into the hardline Internet connection. My Skype page opened and I sat on the narrow bed in front of my desk to wait.

Eight years ago I earned the nickname “Supergirl” from my entire town. When the people of Lanton, Indiana, heard the name Charlotte Redford, that’s the first word that popped into their heads. However, I’ve never felt as brave as people tell me I am. I certainly didn’t feel brave as I waited to face my kryptonite—my parents.

There was nothing I hated more than disappointing Jim and Delia Redford. My parents had always been loving and supportive, and my sister Andie and I almost felt like we owed it to them to be good, obliging kids. But my mom and dad hated the idea of me becoming a cop from the moment I mentioned it to them. I think they might’ve been okay with it if they thought I had any intention of settling for a deputy job in Lanton. There wasn’t a whole lot of crime in my hometown. But nope. They knew I had every intention of hightailing it to the Chicago Police Academy in the hope that I would one day join the illustrious ranks of the Chicago PD. My sister’s fiancé, Rick, happened to be a detective in the city. And I wanted to specialize—possibly work the homicide division—so I understood their reservations, their desire for me to go to law school instead.

It was Jake who pushed me to realize I was sick of compromising for them…

Four days ago

“Is it possible to die of sex exhaustion?” I panted, collapsing in a sprawl across Jake’s sweat-dampened chest.

He lazily stroked my spine. “I’m thinking yes.”

“That was…” I groaned at the feel of him inside me.

“Mind-blowing?” he offered with a suspicious amount of smugness. “Told you it would be.”

I bit his shoulder gently. “Cocky.”

“I dare you to leave teeth marks.” Jake cupped my ass. “I’d love explaining it to people.”

“What people?” I mumbled. “You’re inside the only person who should be seeing you shirtless, mister.”

He chuckled and I burrowed deeper against the sound in his throat. “The guys and I don’t really care about walking around the apartment shirtless.”

Despite my exhaustion, I found the energy to jerk away from him, my hands pressed to his chest as I scowled down at him. “In other words, you’d love to explain those marks to Lowe.”

Inured to my glower, Jake tucked my long hair behind my ear before following the wavy strand of platinum down over my breast. “It would make a point.”

“A point he is well aware of. The traitor dumped me in your hands last night.”

Jake offered me an unrepentant grin. “That’s true.”

Before I could respond, he took me by surprise, wrapping his arms tightly around me as he sat up. Our lips almost brushed as he brought us chest to chest. Sensing I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, I shifted off my knees and wrapped my legs around his waist. Jake’s eyes darkened with the movement.

“No way,” I said. “You can’t possibly…”

“Not yet.” He crushed me against him, whispering the words across my mouth. “Anyway, we have stuff to talk about.”

I instantly wanted to pull away but Jake cupped his hand around my nape, forcing me to look at him. I jerked against his hold.

“Good, we’ll start with that,” he muttered darkly. “Why do you keep pulling away from me?”

“I told you I don’t like it when you hold me by the neck. It’s not a big deal.” It was so a big deal. And Jake knew it was. He just didn’t know why.

The truth was he used to hold me like that when he wanted my entire focus. It was kind of intense and more than kind of sexual, and I thought it was something he just did with me. However, I’d once witnessed him holding his ex-girlfriend Melissa in the same way, and as stupid as I knew it was, it bothered me. A lot.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Next question,” I sighed, tugging his hand off my neck.

Jake didn’t look happy but he relented. “When are you thinking about telling your parents about us?”

“Well,” I wriggled on him with a cheeky grin, “I was thinking we should uncover the plot of some evil mastermind and you can save the world first. There’s no way they won’t be happy for us after that. It would be petty.”

Kneading the muscles in my lower back, he said, “I’m trying to be serious and I can’t do that when you’re sitting on me naked, acting cute.”

“Then I guess my work here is done.” I kissed him hard. Jake’s arms turned to steel around me as he hauled me closer, deepening the kiss with a groan that reverberated through me in such a delicious way…

I wrapped my arms around him. Jake broke our kiss, grabbing my upper arms to push me gently back.

He scowled at me. “Play fair.”

I slumped. “Why should I? You’re not.”

“How is trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend not playing fair?” He narrowed his eyes. “How did I become the chick in this scenario?”

Laughing, I ran my fingers through his hair, loving the way his lashes lowered over his eyes in pleasure at my touch. “You did that all by yourself.”

“I’m being serious.” He turned to kiss my wrist. “I’m not asking you to tell your parents. I’m just asking you if you’re planning on doing it at some point. We can’t,” he exhaled heavily, eyes locking with mine, “we can’t move forward until you tell them.”

“I know. I will. Just… it’s hard. Give me time.”

“And while you’re at it, tell them about the police academy.” He crushed me close again, his breath hot on my lips. “Please. This is your life, Charley. Live it how you want to. Four years ago, you were solid in your decision. I don’t know if it was because of me, if I made you doubt yourself somehow, made you doubt your ability to make the right choices…” He tilted his head back, looking at me with such belief and love, I wanted to melt all over him. “Stop compromising who you are. They’ll love you. They’ll understand.”

As the chat-request bubble popped up on my laptop screen, I sucked in a deep breath and kept Jake’s words with me as I clicked the answer button.