Текст книги "Sunset Rising"

Автор книги: S. McEachern

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Nightmares plagued me every time I closed my eyes. The vision I had seen earlier of people littering the stairs, gasping for breath, turned into a bloodbath in my dreams. Instead of gas raining down on them, I saw bullets. My mind kept replaying the image of Crystal being dragged away by the guards, but instead of shouting, “Rise up,” she shouted, “The Pit they want to blow and soon we’ll all be dead!” Then the guards turned around and gave me an evil smile and their faces turned into Madi. She was dragging Crystal away to beat her to death.

Somewhere through the haze of my dreams, a sensation of warmth and heaviness engulfed me and the nightmares disappeared. Did someone put my vest on me? I felt bulletproof. I turned toward the warmth and tried to get closer to it. It felt hard and muscular. It felt like the only good thing I had left in my life.

I opened my eyes and found myself lying face-to-face with Jack, his arms wrapped around me. His eyes were opened, but I didn’t think he could see me. He was blind when the lights were out.

I raised my hand and stroked his face; he captured my hand and kissed my palm. His touch was so gentle that I wanted to feel it on my lips. I leaned forward and tentatively pressed my mouth against his. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to kiss him, but his lips moved gently against mine. He ran his fingers up my arm and into my hair, leaving a trail of tingling goose bumps in their wake. I wanted to know what his skin felt like, too. Shyly, I moved my hand away from his face, running it down his shoulder and onto his side, coming to stop at his hip. I heard his sharp intake of breath, and an ache started somewhere deep inside me. His kiss became hungrier, searching for something deeper, and I realized where this was going.

Despite my body’s response to his touch, my mind was screaming “no.” We came from two different worlds, and our accidental marriage didn’t change that. I had to remind myself that not long ago I would only ever have shared a bed with Jack Kenner if he had chosen me from a group of urchin girls and ordered me to do it.

“No!” I pulled away with such force that I ended up rolling out of bed.

“Sunny?” Jack raised himself up on an elbow and peered into the dark. I was pretty sure he couldn’t see me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He lay back on the bed and dragged both his hands through his hair. “Don’t be sorry. I was out of line. I misread your intentions.” His breathing was ragged.

“I’m going to get some water.” I didn’t want to get into a blame game. I was the one who started it. I pushed myself up off the floor and went in the direction of the living room.

“Sunny?” Jack’s voice stopped me at the door.

“Yes?”

“You don’t still think of us as bourge and urchin, do you?”

“Honestly?” I drew in an unsteady breath. “Sometimes I do.”

“I want you to know that I don’t. I never did.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just left and went into the kitchen. I poured a glass of water and drank it all. I was hoping the coolness of the liquid would help douse the fire that had started inside me, but it gave me little relief.

I sat down on one of the chairs, not wanting to return to the bedroom. I was afraid if I did I would finish what I started with him. He had kissed me back, so I knew he wanted me, too. I tried to imagine a world where our relationship could actually work, but I couldn’t. Jack had been born aristocratic, and I had not.

Why had I never felt this way with Reyes? Kissing him had always been a comfortable and familiar thing to do that never left me wanting more. If only I had felt a fraction for Reyes of what I was feeling for Jack, I would have married him years ago and my life would be simpler right now.

I needed to stop thinking about Jack because the temptation was too strong. Not that I knew what making love to someone was like, but the emotions he stirred inside me made me want to explore that option more. Even the short time I spent in his arms helped me forget all the tragedy going on around me. It had felt good, but I also needed it to feel right.

I deliberately turned my thoughts away from Jack and concentrated on the nightmares instead. When I thought about my vision of Crystal being dragged away by the guards who turned into Madi, I remembered the words she had been singing: “The Pit they want to blow and soon we’ll all be dead!” But it wasn’t just in my dream she had sung those words. They were part of her song. How did that refrain go? Did she say, “I overheard it said?” Is this what she had overheard Holt and West talk about? It didn’t make sense, though. If they blew up the Pit, the Dome would go with it. Why would they plan to kill themselves?

The lights came on, and the bong bongs sounded. Lockdown was over. No guards had bothered us through the night to scan in, so I assumed it must have been Alliance guards on this level. I remembered the guard had said he would drop my hat off if he found it. I got up, checked the door, and was happy to see it there.

Jack came into the living room just as I was shutting the door.

“Morning,” he said uncomfortably.

“Good morning.” I wasn’t sure what to say to him.

“You didn’t come back to bed. You must be tired.” He looked sheepish.

“I thought we could both use a little space.”

“Look, I know things are difficult between you and Reyes right now and I promised you that I wouldn’t get in your way. I just want you to know what happened last night will stay between us. He won’t find out.”

He was obviously uncomfortable with all of this. I regretted kissing him. Things were going to get awkward between us.

“Don’t worry about it. Reyes and I aren’t together anymore.”

His head snapped up, and he looked stunned. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think it was relevant.”

“You didn’t think it was relevant?” He put both hands up to his face and covered his eyes for a moment. I wondered what he was so upset about.

“We’ve been busy with the Alliance… and Madi… and Crystal… My breakup with Reyes seemed so small compared to everything else.”

Jack dropped his hands away from his face and looked at me. He wore a pained expression. “I understand—life is complicated. It’s just… well, both of us are under a lot of pressure and stress right now… and we’re living together… and… I’m interested in what’s going on in your life.”

I knew he was trying to tell me something, yet he had said nothing. I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I didn’t think you would be interested considering everything else that was going on in our lives.”

“Wouldn’t you be interested if I had a girlfriend?”

His question caught me off guard. The mere thought made me feel threatened, and I couldn’t help but be surprised by this knowledge. I was attracted to Jack, which I had always admitted to myself, but when did I develop feelings for him?

“Yes,” I said.

He gave me a satisfied smile.

“I’m sorry. I should have been more honest with you. And I really don’t want things to get awkward between us.” I didn’t know what I would do without him.

Jack closed the distance between us in two strides. He brought his hand up to brush a lock of my hair away from my face.

“It won’t be awkward as long as we’re honest with each other.”

I thought he was going to kiss me, and I held his gaze. I wasn’t going to run away this time. But he just searched my eyes, looking for something in them. I couldn’t stand the distance between our mouths. With a will of their own, my arms came up around his neck and pulled his head toward mine. I had spent most of the night trying to forget the feel of him, and then it was all I could think about. So much had gone wrong in my life, and yet standing there within the circle of his embrace was the only thing that was right. As my lips met his, I breathed in his scent and tasted his mouth and welcomed the warmth and aching that spread through me like fire. I wanted Jack more than I had ever wanted anyone in my life.

“Sunny,” he breathed, barely pulling his mouth away from mine.

“Ssshhh.” There was no need for words right now. I didn’t want reminders of anything. I just wanted him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and picked me up off the floor. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted to be connected to him with every fibre of my being. I wanted to touch and be touched. I was vaguely aware that he was walking back to the bedroom, so I wasn’t surprised when he sat down on the bed, bringing my clinging body with him. As he lay back on the bed, my hair fell down around our faces. He let his fingers run up the length of my back, and I shivered in response to his electric touch. I felt his hands tangle in my hair, pulling my face closer to his.

My desire for him increased to a pitch I never thought possible. With feverish urgency, I sat up and started fumbling with the button on his jeans. I tried not to get frustrated when it wouldn’t give way under my hands. It was taking forever, and I didn’t want to spoil the mood. Jack gave me a curious look, and I looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“Sunny?”

I could feel heat creep into my cheeks and hoped that my blush wasn’t obvious. He probably thought I was an inexperienced little girl, which was exactly what I was. I just didn’t want him to know it. But it was so obvious… how could I avoid being found out?

“I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before.”

“What?” Jack looked confused.

“I’ve never… you know.”

It must have been obvious, so why was he making me say it? I put more effort into my task, hoping to free the button of his jeans before time robbed me of all spontaneity. But his hand stopped mine.

“You’ve never made love before?” he asked gently.

“No.”

He raised himself up from the bed with me still straddling his lap. He was looking at me differently now. The want and lust I saw a few seconds ago had been replaced with something else. In my heart of hearts, I knew he was going to tell me I was nothing but a child and I didn’t know the first thing about pleasing a man.

“We can’t do this,” he said, staring directly into my eyes.

A lump began to form in my throat, and I fought it back. I had cried over so many things in my life, and I refused to let this be another one. I disengaged myself from his touch and stood up. He gave me a confused look.

“That’s fine.” My embarrassment was overwhelming.

“What the hell!” Before I could leave the room, he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. “You’re on, and then just like that you’re off?”

“You just made it clear that you don’t want me.” I hoped I kept any emotion out of my voice.

“Don’t want you? You’re all I’ve ever thought about since before I even married you! You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep every night. You’re the most amazing, brave, beautiful woman I have ever met, and I’ve been going out of my mind wanting you.” Jack’s voice was raw with emotion. He reached a hand toward me, and I took it. I could see the honesty in his face. I knew he was struggling just as much as I was. I took a step toward him, and he held out his other hand to me. I laced my fingers with his. “But despite how much I want you, I won’t let your first time be in a heated rush before we have to get to work. You deserve so much better than that.”

I almost laughed. Was that all he was worried about? We could both be caught and executed today and the only thing I would regret was that I never knew him in the way I wanted to know him right now. I stepped closer and kissed him again.

“I want you too, Jack,” I said against his mouth.

He breathed deeply, pulling me closer against him. “You can show me how much tonight, when we have hours to spend wrapped up in each other, okay?” His eyes darkened with the desire I knew he felt. My heart skipped a beat and my longing for him quickened.

“I spent a lot of time last night talking myself out of making love to you. Now that you’ve talked me back into it, it doesn’t seem fair that you’re not following through.”

“Consider it payback for last night.” He smiled, and kissed me again. “Come on. Let’s go to breakfast before it’s over.”

I tried to bring myself back to the moment, but it was difficult. I suddenly didn’t want to leave our apartment. I wondered what it would cost us if we just didn’t show up for work today. If we just stayed there and explored each other instead.

“We still have to do our hair,” I said, bringing myself back into reality. I went to the cupboard, took the piece of coal and ran it through my hair, then went to Jack to do his hair. “I was thinking about Crystal last night. I’ve been thinking about her song. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“You mean the part about blowing up the Pit?”

“Yes! I had nightmares about those lyrics. When I woke up I couldn’t tell if I had dreamed them or if she really said them.”

“She said them. I just don’t know what it means. I don’t doubt the president would set off the warheads if he thought he was going to lose control of the Dome, but a few riots don’t add up to losing control.”

“She didn’t say blow up the Dome, she said the Pit. And it’s not just that line that bothers me. She sang ‘I overheard it said… the Pit they want to blow and soon we’ll all be dead.’ A few days ago she told me that she overhears things when Malcolm West has dinner with the president. She wouldn’t tell me what exactly. She said she would be killed if she ever told anyone.”

“And yet she sang it to the entire Pit? That would definitely get her killed. None of it makes sense.”

I finished Jack’s hair and put the coal away. My stomach was growling now, and I realized we were really late for breakfast.

“Your vest,” Jack said. It seemed he had to remind me every morning.

I used one of the towels to make sure all the gas was off of the shell before I put it back on. I hated the heavy feel of it and wondered if there would ever come a day when I didn’t have to wear it.

“Ready,” I said putting my hat on and joining him at the door.

Jack started to open the door and then closed it again. He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment.

“Sunny, I know you think that with everything that’s going on our personal lives aren’t important… but I feel differently. The only thing keeping me together is being here with you at the end of every day.”

I was surprised to hear him say that. But since he had said it, I knew exactly what he meant. He had become my source of strength. And living there in that apartment with him had become home.

“Me too.”

He opened the door and held out his hand for mine. I took it, lacing my fingers between his. As we walked down the hall together toward the common room, I felt stronger than I ever had in my life.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The mood in the common room was sombre. It looked like most people had had a sleepless night. All conversation was about Crystal. Everyone was outraged that she had been dragged away simply for singing a song. I realized all along I had been hoping to see her there—silently praying that Malcolm West had just given her a slap on the hand and returned her to her parents.

“She’s not here,” Jack said, as if reading my thoughts.

“No, and I don’t see her parents either.”

David Chavez waved us to his table once we had collected our rations. He was sitting with a large group of people, his wife beside him.

“I hope you avoided the tear gas last night,” I said to Terra.

“David took me home as soon as we realized Domers were coming down into the Pit. We were safe,” she said, hugging her round tummy.

“It was barbaric,” said a man sitting at the table. “They sent a small army of guards to drag that little girl away, and for what? Just because she was singing a song!”

“And we’re not supposed to get upset about that?” someone else chimed in. “Of course we were mad. What did they expect?”

“They did expect it. That’s why they sent so many guards to get her,” Jack said.

All eyes at the table turned toward him, disgust written on many of their faces. I knew without a doubt that in the aftermath of what happened to Crystal, they were seeing Jack as a bourge again.

“Hate him if you want, but he does have valuable insight into the way the bourge work,” I said. “We would be smart to listen to him.”

“I agree with Sunny. He’s done right by us so far,” David said. “If it wasn’t for him, there wouldn’t be an Alliance.”

“All right.” One man at the table turned to Jack. “What do you know about it?” Malice laced his voice.

“I know that they underestimated your reaction when they took Crystal into custody, otherwise they would have sent more guards,” Jack said. “Next time they will.”

“Has anyone seen her today?” the woman on the other side of me asked. We all shook our heads. “Then they still have her… or they’ve killed her.”

“They wouldn’t kill her just for singing a song, would they?” I asked Jack, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.

“That song had enough impact to spark a riot, and I think we all know she wasn’t just singing a song. She was urging all of you to go to war. That’s treason.”

Jack’s words didn’t surprise me, but I still didn’t want to hear them. People were exchanging worried looks, and some were slamming their fists on the table in frustration.

Raine joined our table. Mica was standing behind him. “We need to save her then,” Raine said. “She put herself on the line for all of us. We owe it to her.”

“I agree,” I said.

A murmur of approval went through the crowd. People who had been sitting elsewhere were now gravitating toward our table.

“We’ll need a plan,” Jack said. “First of all, we have to find out where she is. Does anyone know for sure if she came home last night or not?”

A young girl about Crystal’s age spoke up. “I checked in on her this morning. She wasn’t there. Her parents are devastated.”

Jack nodded, acknowledging the girl. “Then we need to find out where they’re holding her. I’ll coordinate the Alliance guards to track down that information. Tonight we’ll come up with a plan and get her back.”

A man sitting at the table raised his hand. “I’ll help!”

Soon there was a chorus of people wanting to help rescue Crystal. Seeing everyone come together—standing up for each other—was every bit as powerful as Crystal’s song. I knew she would be happy to know the impact her music had had.

“Until then, let’s not give them a reason to send any more Domers down here,” Jack said. “Anyone starts a riot again and we’ll be back on lockdown. We’ll meet back here right after work.”

“Everyone okay with a bourge calling the shots on this?” a woman from the crowd asked.

“I think it’s time we started trusting him,” someone else said.

I was relieved when I heard the crowd agree, even if most were reluctant.

“Thank you,” Jack said. He pushed his chair back and stood up. Everyone followed suit. We all needed to get to work on time. I joined the queue of people filing out of the room, and Jack fell into step beside me.

“They still don’t trust me.”

“You have to see yourself through their eyes. It wasn’t long ago we watched interviews with you and Leisel talking about the future of the Dome. One minute you’re the presidential heir, the next you’re promising to help them revolt against the current president. People are bound to question your loyalties.”

“If they don’t trust me, this rescue operation could go bad quickly.”

“Not if it’s just you and me doing the rescuing.” Jack raised his eyebrow at me in question. “The fewer people involved, the better off we’ll be.”

“You’re probably right,” he said thoughtfully. When we came to the stairs he pulled me closer to him. I expected the mandatory kiss on my head, but it never came. I tilted my head back to look at him. “You trust me, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, I trust you. And they’re starting to trust you too. Don’t give up.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll never give up. I owe everyone down here at least that much.” Before I could ask him what he meant, he pulled me against him and gave me a long kiss. He released me reluctantly. I watched him descend the stairs until he was out of sight, and then made my way up to the laundry room.

A guard was standing outside the door when I arrived. He gave me a nod that was almost imperceptible, and I knew he was an Alliance guard. The laundry room lights were on and the door was unlocked, so I went in. I was surprised to see a woman sitting behind the desk. She didn’t look very old—maybe early twenties, which was young for a supervisor. I looked over at Crystal’s station, hopeful that she might have made it to work, but there was no one at the sink. I was the first worker there.

The woman behind the desk pointed to the scanner. “Scan in.”

I wasn’t sure if I should give her a respectful greeting or not. Madi had never been partial to us talking to her unless we had been spoken to first. I had no idea what this woman was going to be like. I decided to err on the side of caution and stayed silent. I waved my hand across the scanner, and it beeped. I felt the familiar moment of relief when I saw the green light.

“Autumn Jones,” the woman said thoughtfully. “I’m Supervisor Gina. I’ll be working here now.”

“Good morning, ma’am.”

“What is it you do here?”

“I operate the washers and dryers and sort the clothes, ma’am.” I respectfully turned my eyes to the floor. I didn’t want to provoke another supervisor.

“We’re going to be short-handed today. Do you think you can help out with hand washing?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I tried to hide the alarm I felt when she mentioned hand washing. She obviously knew Crystal wouldn’t be in that day. I wondered what else she knew.

“Well, just go about your normal duties, and we’ll see how the day progresses.” She dismissed me.

I took a cart of dirty laundry on the way to my station and began sorting. A few minutes later, Di arrived. She scanned in and talked to Supervisor Gina. Once our new supervisor dismissed her, Di took a cart of dirty laundry and stopped to greet me on the way to her station.

“Good morning,” she said cheerfully, motioning with her eyes at Gina. “So if this one turns out like the last one, we going to kill her too?” Di gave me a wink.

“Keep it down,” I whispered. “Hopefully this one isn’t like the last one.” But if she were, I wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of her. Life was so much better without the Madis of the world.

Di looked over at the two guards lounging against a wall talking. “There seem to be a few extra guards on today.”

“I think they’re with the Alliance. They might be trying to find out information on Crystal.”

I saw Gina looking over at us, raising her eyebrows at our whispered chatter. I dropped my eyes to the laundry I was sorting and Di went to her station. More workers began to arrive and scan in. Everyone seemed uneasy with a new supervisor. Little wonder, considering how bad the last one had been.

I put my sorted loads in the washing machines and gathered up the hand washing to take to the sink. I wasn’t sure what to do with them, so I decided to play dumb and just set them on the counter like I normally would if Crystal was there. I was walking away when Supervisor Gina stopped me.

“The girl who usually works there won’t be in today,” she said. “Do you know how to do the hand washing?”

“I’ve been shown once. I can try.”

I returned to the sink and started filling it up with cold water. I remembered how achy my hands and arms had become when Crystal had showed me how to hand wash. I wasn’t looking forward to having my hands in cold water all day, but on the bright side, I wouldn’t suffer heat exhaustion. Supervisor Gina didn’t leave. She stood there watching me. I felt uncomfortable in her presence. She seemed to be studying me.

“You’re tall for a girl,” she said matter-of-factly and then returned to her desk.

I wondered what she meant by her comment. Was it just an observation? Or did she suspect who I was? I hadn’t forgotten about the bounty on my head. I knew supervisors didn’t make much, so four hundred credits would be appealing.

My arms and hands were aching by the time I finished washing the few clothes I had. Di came over with a bundle, but offered to do her own when she saw how much pain I was in. I thanked her and let her. I didn’t know how Crystal managed to do that all day.

As my first washer stopped, I sorted the clothes between hang-to-dry and spin dry. I was conscious of Gina frequently glancing up from her computer to look at me. I wondered why. I cast a sly look over at the two Alliance guards in the room. I knew a third one was right outside the door. If Domers did come down here to arrest me, how far would the Alliance guards go to help me? If they challenged the Domers outright, they would expose themselves as traitors and face execution as well. I wasn’t sure I wanted that on my conscience.

I kept my head down and did my work, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. I knew there would be no escape from here if they came for me. I was relieved when the end of the workday finally arrived. My work was finished, and I could leave this room, which I now thought of as a trap.

“Be here bright and early again tomorrow, Autumn,” Gina said as I scanned out.

I know I didn’t imagine the emphasis on my name. Now I was positive she suspected that I wasn’t Autumn Jones. But if she knew for sure I was Sunny O’Donnell, she would have reported me by now.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said.

I opened the door and left the laundry room. I knew I couldn’t come back.