Текст книги "Bound to the shadow prince"

Автор книги: Ruby Dixon

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Chapter

Twenty-Two

Isleep better than I have in months. You would think that my senses would be a little on edge given that I’m in a Fellian’s bed and completely at his mercy, but no. I sleep so heavily that I don’t even dream, and when I wake up, my chin is covered in tracks of dried drool.

“You snore,” is all the Fellian says to me when I wake up.

“I do not snore,” I say, indignant. “I am a princess.”

“A snoring princess is still a princess.”

I glare at him and sit up in the bed. I feel surprisingly good. I’m still drained, of course, but my stomach is settled and my limbs no longer feel sluggishly heavy, nor is my mind fogged. It’s a relief, and I owe my recovery all to my enemy, which is unsettling.

“Do you want the lights on or is your head still bothering you?”

I rub my eyes and notice that there’s one light on in the corner, the orb covered by a thin cloth so it shines dimly and gives just enough light to illuminate the shapes in the room. Considering he can see in the dark, it’s obviously for my benefit, and a thoughtful gesture. I look around at the absolute clutter in his room and then back to him. “The light is fine, thank you. Why are you being so nice to me?” I’m suspicious. “I showed up here to kill you.”

“Did you truly think you’d succeed?” He sounds amused. I notice that he has a stool pulled up to the side of the bed and he straddles it, his strange legs folded on each side, his wings a black cloak behind him. Those strange horns of his make him look regal even in the near darkness, as does the heavy set of his brow.

Did I think I’d succeed in killing him? It’s a good question. In all honesty, no. But he doesn’t need to know that. “I had to try. You have me backed into a corner.”

“I don’t know how you came to that conclusion.” He shakes his head. “I’ve done nothing to you.”

Is he serious? “You stole the last of my wood! That’s why I came after you.”

Nemeth gives me a puzzled look. “Your wood? You mean that sled?” At my indignant nod, he continues. “The sled that you banged around with for a full day and got nowhere with? The sled that you cried over because you couldn’t break it apart?”

“I didn’t cry,” I hiss, embarrassed. Tears are weakness, and I hate showing weakness to this cretin.

“I saw you were having trouble with it,” he says, his words slow and measured, his gaze locked on me. “So I took it apart for you and put the wood in the kitchen below, by the hearth. You would have seen it if you’d gone downstairs.”

I blink, taken aback. I hadn’t thought to go downstairs to look. I’d simply asked my knife if he’d taken the sled, and the answer was yes. I hadn’t thought to ask why he’d taken the sled, or where it was at now. “You made it into firewood for me?”

“I broke it down into easily manageable pieces, yes. You should be able to burn them now.” He shakes his head. “Whoever sent you your supplies needs to be drawn and quartered. To think that they sent you sixteen trunks of dresses and nothing to burn.”

Rude man.

He’s right, of course, but it’s still rude to point it out. “I suppose your people did a lot better for you?”

“I suppose they did, yes.” He gestures behind him, and I can see a massive stack of firewood, the logs jammed into place as high as the ceiling. He has wood downstairs in the kitchens, too, so this must be an additional supply. It’s revolting to see how well stocked his quarters are. In addition to the food downstairs, he’s got some hidden away up here, too. Shoved in-between books and wooden cases, I see more wheels of cheese and what looks like a board full of growing mushrooms standing up in the corner of the room. Bushels of dried leaves hang from the ceiling, and I’ve no doubt that he’s got more than enough supplies to allow him to ease through the winter and spring, until the next solstice.

Whereas I’ve been chewing on stale, raw turnips and shivering under my blankets. So that’s fun.

I sit up and he immediately moves, fluffing a pillow behind my back. It’s a rather touchingly sweet response and makes me feel guilty. Here he is, this big, vicious-looking enemy warrior, making sure I’m comfy in his bed. I glance over at him. “I don’t suppose you have any more water?”

“I do. And soup, if you’re hungry.”

I nod, because I don’t trust my voice not to shriek out yes, yes, please, I’m starving.

He hands me a wooden cup full of water and I force myself to take tiny sips even though I want to gulp the whole thing down. As I drink, I watch him move across the room. His fireplace is flickering, and there’s a small pot over the flames. He stirs the contents with a ladle and then fills a second wooden cup with what smells like soup. My mouth waters, and at this point, if he pulled his cock out and told me I had to suck it to share his food, I’d gladly do so. I’m that hungry.

But he only sits down on that stool again and holds the soup out to me. He doesn’t ask for anything.

Warily, I take the cup from him, trading my empty water cup for the food. “This isn’t poison, is it? Because with my luck, it’d be poison.”

Nemeth rolls his eyes at me. He crosses his arms over his bare chest—still wearing nothing but his leather kilt with the decorative metal studs, I notice—and considers me. “Why would I nurse you back to health only to poison you?”

“Because it hurts more that way.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Remind me to get tips from you on how to torture the enemy. I think my people could learn a thing or two.”

I take a sip of the soup. Gods, it’s good. There’s a warm spicy taste to it that I don’t recognize, but the majority of the flavor is mushrooms and savory bits of meat. I don’t have any mushrooms in my supplies, so this is clearly from his stock. I eye him as I take another sip. He seems relaxed and at ease, watching me with curiosity instead of resentment. And he made me dinner.

This feels like a trick.

It has to be a trick, or else I’m an absolute arse for trying to kill him. Either he truly is as kind as he’s pretending or there’s an ulterior motive. Right now I’m too tired to figure it out, though…and his soup is too good.

I finish the soup quickly and hold the cup out for more. He shakes his head. “Give yourself a few hours, and then you can have more. You should eat small meals until we’re certain your stomach can handle it.”

It makes sense, even if I don’t want to hear it. With a sigh, I nod and swing my legs over the side of the bed. “I should get going anyhow.”

A big hand covers my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

I look up at Nemeth in surprise. “Getting out of your way?”

He shakes his head and that enormous hand stays on my shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere until I’m certain you’re feeling better. You can sleep in my bed for another night.”

It sounds like a good idea to me, because not only is his bed comfortable, but I’m too tired to consider walking up all forty stairs to my room. “Where will you sleep?”

“The same place I slept last night.” He nods at the spot on the bed next to me.

I should protest that it isn’t seemly, but honestly, it just makes sense. If I’m not kicking him out of his bed, I’m all for it. “All right,” I say lightly. “But if you try anything, I will projectile vomit on you.”

He rolls his eyes and offers me a hand. “Do you need help getting to the garderobe or can you manage on your own?”

Just the thought of crossing the hall to relieve myself sounds exhausting, but I will absolutely be humiliated if I have to use a chamber pot in front of him. “I can manage…just give me a moment.”

Nemeth just eyes me. “Very well. If you need help, just ask. I know you’re not inclined to do so, but I will offer it all the same.”

“You’re too nice,” I mutter. “I don’t trust it.”

“Should I hold a knife to your throat as you drink your soup? Will that make you more comfortable?” His hard face creases with amusement.

“Very funny.”

“I thought so. If you’re feeling better, perhaps you might answer a few questions of mine.” He tilts his head, regarding me, and those horns draw my attention. So strange to see hard, thick horns there instead of soft, waving hair. It reminds me that however friendly he is, he’s not human.

Not even close, and I shouldn’t let my guard down. “You can ask.”

“Why did you want to kill me?” His teeth flash, a hint of white fang showing. “I assume that’s what you were trying to do, no matter how poor of an attempt it was.”

Twist the knife, why don’t you. I scowl at him, hugging his blanket to my chest. “So I could keep your supplies. I thought that was obvious.” I gesture down at my chemise. “Did you undress me while I was unconscious?”

“Yes. I thought that was obvious,” he says, throwing my words back into my face. “If you wanted something of mine so badly, why didn’t you just ask me for it? Have I proven myself so craven that I wouldn’t share? That I would let you starve while I fill my belly?”

He looks so very indignant that it startles me. How can he sit there and say that I’m in the wrong? That I assumed the worst of him? Of course I did. Not only is he a Fellian, but he’s proved himself to be a thief. Twice. “You stole my sled. You stole my knife. Why would I think you were going to share anything when you’re stealing what little I have?”

Nemeth sits back on his stool. He looks utterly flummoxed. “You think I stole from you?”

“I know you stole from me.” I point an accusing finger in his face. “No one else is here, remember?”

He runs a hand down his face, and I can’t help but notice that they’re oversized, like boulders. His feet are overly large, his thighs massive, but I thought his hands would be normal sized, like a human’s. His proportions are all wrong, though. With both hands, he could probably span my waist, and I’m a plump, rounded sort. If he raised a fist, it’d be the size of my head. “You think I stole from you.”

“You did. You stole my blade⁠—”

“You left it on the floor and it had fallen into a dark corner. I didn’t think you would find it on your own, so I retrieved it and kept it safe. You never came to ask for it back.” His tone is dangerous. “If you would have checked with me before jumping to conclusions, you would realize that I have never meant ill for you.”

I swallow hard, feeling guilty. What he says is plausible…if I trust the enemy. Still, he hasn’t acted like an enemy to me. Not truly. Have I overreacted so much, then? I know when I don’t take my medicine, my thoughts get erratic, but I don’t think I can blame everything on my blood curse. I’ve been assuming the worst about him.

“So what is it you want?” I ask. “An apology?”

He gives me an exasperated look. “I want a truce, Candra.”

“A truce,” I echo, confused.

Nemeth nods, the movement proud and just a little stiff. “We are the only company allowed each other for the next seven years. I see no reason why we should be enemies. Why we should war against each other here inside this tower, when it would be far better to be friends.”

Friends. With a Fellian.

A man I just tried to kill. A man who has quietly nursed me back to health, who simply wants a truce. It makes me suspicious, but at the same time, it also makes sense. These past six months have been long and lonely, and it’s hard to do everything on my own. If we pool our resources, will it not be easier? Sitting by the fire together? Relying upon one another?

Having someone to talk to?

My throat tightens at how much I want that. But I try not to reveal too much in case there’s another hidden bargain somewhere in his words. “I suppose you make a good case.”

“I could ensure that you take your medication, too.” He reaches out and touches my arm, stroking a claw down the inside. “You’ve been mangling yourself.”

That soft, gentle caress takes me completely by surprise. My body clenches pleasurably, and I gaze down at the sight of his dangerous-looking claw teasing over my horribly bruised arm. “It’s difficult to shove a needle into yourself,” I admit. “And I’m not very good at it. My nurse had gentle hands, but I guess I’m impatient.”

“I’m not.” He runs that claw up and down my arm one more time and then pulls back. “If you trust me, I can administer it for you.”

His touch is slightly proprietary, and yet not all that unwelcome. Is it because he’s been caring for me? Or am I so lonely that even a Fellian is starting to look good? “And what do you want in return?”

He gives me a look of sheer exasperation. “Why do you think I always want something?”

I lift a finger into the air. “Because you’re a Fellian. “ Another finger. “Because you’re the enemy of Lios and I am a Lios princess.” A third finger. “Because you’re a man, and men always want something from women.”

Nemeth leans back on his stool, his jaw clenching in a way that makes those prominent lower canines jut out. “You think I have so little control over myself?”

“You are a man.” I raise my brows at him. “And I seem to recall someone watching me in my bath with great interest.”

His craggy face creases and he laughs, shaking his head. Amusement is written all over his expression. “I seem to recall a princess who shamelessly soaped herself in front of me, practically daring me to say something.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” I lift my chin. “There was no soap.”

He slaps his knee and laughs harder, the sound so booming that it reminds me of the thunder of last month’s storms. His smile is wide and genuine, and I begin to smile, too. I like his laughter. It feels like so long since I’ve had something to laugh or smile about, and I’m a happy person, damn the gods. Why am I doomed to be miserable here? Why can’t I be happy even if I’m trapped? Why not make the best of it?

Maybe that’s possible if we’re friends instead of enemies.

His smile fades a little and he gives me a rueful look, his hands resting on his big thighs. “I have had nothing but books for companionship these last few months. While it is keeping me sane, I would prefer the company of another person. You, my suspicious princess, are low on food and fuel. I am low on people to talk to. Can we not pool our resources and spend our time together?”

He makes it sound so good. I imagine Lionel’s expression when he hears I’m in the enemy’s bed. That I’m friendly with a Fellian. That he’s better at this “tower sacrifice” thing than I am. I would be banished from court for being a Fellian sympathizer. Not even the Vestalin bloodline would save me from his wrath. My sister Erynne would be furious at my disloyalty, too. The crown must be strong and unified in order to lead the people, and the Fellians are longtime enemies of Lios. She would be disappointed that I have not yet killed Nemeth. Erynne would have. Erynne always does the right thing.

And yet Lionel is not here. My sister is not here.

This tower is our world for the next seven years. Why spend it at odds?

I look at Nemeth, and then at his room, brimming with supplies and books. I compare it to my sparse pantry. “You realize I have a lot more to gain from our alliance than you do?”

“Does it matter?” He holds his hand out, palm up. “If you trust me, I trust you.”

That makes me bite my lip. “That’s the hard part,” I confess. “Trusting you.”

“Princess,” he says, and his tone is exasperated. “If I wanted you dead, I could have just let you die at my doorstep instead of spending the last few days nursing you back to health.”

Oh. That brings me up short. He’s absolutely right.

And I’m being a suspicious ass.

“You’re right,” I say, and put my hand into his. “I’m being unfair. Let’s be friends, shall we?”

He grins, and for the first time in a long time, I have hope that all this might turn out all right.

Chapter

Twenty-Three

Nemeth is an annoying nursemaid.

After our initial agreement to work together, he insists I visit the garderobe, and then nap again. I need to regain my strength, he says, and after my quick jaunt to relieve myself, I’m tired and decide it’s not such a bad idea.

The next day, he insists I stay in bed while he fusses over me. Pillows are fluffed, blankets are adjusted, and he makes me more soup. I’m feeling much better and like myself again, but when I try to get out of bed, Nemeth is not happy with this idea.

“Where do you have to go that’s so urgent?” he asks. “Stay in bed. If you are bored, I will give you one of my books. If you are hungry, I will feed you. If you need to go to the garderobe, I will assist you.”

I frown at him. “I can walk on my own.”

“Three days ago you were at death’s door,” he reminds me.

“And now I am not. Which means I do not need you at the garderobe door.” I get to my feet, smooth my chemise out, and then head for the door to his room, my shoulders straight.

Nemeth hovers over me, a frown on his face. “You will come right back?”

“No, actually. I’m going to go up to my room once I’m done.” It’s not that I need anything specific, I just…need a moment alone to think. A moment to breathe. Nemeth has been nothing but kind for these last few days, but my skin itches with the need to put some distance between us, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Maybe six months alone truly has taken a toll on me.

He growls at the thought. “I do not like this. You are weak.”

When he puts a supportive hand at my back, I bat his hand away. That’s what’s bothering me, I realize. I’m being hovered over. I didn’t like it with Nurse and Riza, and I don’t like it now. “I have survived for six months on my own. I will survive another hour. Leave me be.”

With a furious look, he ruffles his wings, a sign I’m learning is agitation. Then, he stomps to the nearest table, picks up the globe on its stand, and holds it out to me. “Take a light.”

And then he stomps back into his quarters again.

I stand in the doorway, frowning at his temper. He acts like he’s the one that hasn’t had a bit of space to himself the last few days. “I don’t know why you’re making a big fuss like this,” I point out. “We both know you’re going to just hover in the shadows and watch over me like a mother hen.”

“I am not,” Nemeth declares, his tone dangerous. He picks up a book and brandishes it. “I am going to read. Take as much time as you like. I care not.”

Rolling my eyes at his temper tantrum, I head for the garderobe. When I’m done there, I’m tired, but in a pleasantly achy sort of way and I’m not ready to lie in bed for the rest of the day again. He acts as if I am a fragile thing that must be protected from myself. He doesn’t realize how much strength it takes to live with an illness such as mine. Every day is survival, and I am tougher than he thinks. So I head upstairs to my quarters and open the door.

My room feels chilly and strangely vacant. It’s been days since I’ve been in here, and it both feels like forever and five minutes ago. I take a few steps inside, and as I do, I see my knife, carefully laid out on my (also carefully) made bed. My discarded dresses have been picked up off the floor, too, and put on their hooks. That must have been Nemeth. I can see him fussing over every detail, right down to fluffing my pillows. I want to roll my eyes, but I smile instead.

Who would have thought Fellians were so particular about tidiness? I expect a certain amount of mess from anyone that’s been born into a royal family, because we have servants following behind us all day, waiting to clean up after us. I’m certainly not nearly as tidy as him, and I move over to my bed and set the lamp down next to it, then pick up my knife.

I’d tuck it into the front of my dress but I’m still wearing nothing but a chemise. “Hello there,” I say to it. “Did you miss me?”

The knife is silent. Figures that I’d have a salty magic blade instead of a friendly one.

I glance around my room. The fireplace is cold, and my food supplies are exactly where I left them. Not surprising. I consider my dresses and decide I want a fresh chemise, as I’m yet too tired to go through the process of heating water for bathing. I lift the neck of my chemise and give it a sniff. “Do I smell?”

The knife pulses an affirmative.

“Thanks,” I say wryly. Okay, a change of clothes, then. I eye my surroundings. “Is Nemeth lurking in the shadows?”

Silence from my knife.

Interesting. So much for my hovering Fellian nursemaid. Maybe he’s realizing I’m not as weak as I seem and is going to give me some space. I pull off my old chemise and exchange it for a new, fresh one that’s wrinkled from washing. It’s chilly inside the tower, so, toes curled against the stone floor, I pick up one of my heavier dresses and slip it over my head. It’s a bright green with an attached skirt, and when the bodice slides over my head, I settle it at my waist and then lace it up at the front. As fashion goes, it’s a terrible choice. No one lets their dresses lace in the front because it screams I am poor. Fashion insists that other people dress you.

I wonder if Nemeth would do my laces up for me if I had a dress that tied in the back.

Once I’m dressed, my sleeves fastened and puffed, fresh exhaustion hits me. I collapse on the edge of my bed. Maybe I’ll take a moment before I head back to his warm, toasty, crowded quarters again. I lie on my back in the bed and tuck my knife between my breasts, now lifted and plump from the bodice’s support. “Is Nemeth coming up here?”

The knife does not respond.

Hmm. Thinking about Nemeth makes me think about other things. Naughtier things. I stroke my hand down the front of my bodice. “Does Nemeth still think about me when he touches himself?”

Yes.

My insides clench, and I think about that claw that skimmed up and down my bruised arm.

“Did Nemeth touch himself to thoughts of me when I was sick?”

Silence. There’s that, I suppose. He’s not an absolute pervert.

“Has he touched himself to thoughts of me recently?”

Yes.

“Today?” I ask, scandalized.

Yes.

“Right now?”

Yes.

Oh. My lips part, and I stare up at the shadowy ceiling in a mixture of shock and titillation. After giving me so much grief about wanting a moment alone, he’s taking this time to quickly rub one out? To the thought of me? I stroke my hands up and down my bodice as I consider that, utterly fascinated. I picture a big, skull-sized fist wrapped around his cock, squeezing and twisting as he shuttles into his grip. He’d need large equipment for that to feel good, I bet, because his hands would dwarf his cock otherwise.

I haven’t touched myself since I arrived in the tower, I realize. Is that why I’m so fascinated with the thought of him touching himself? Or is it because he’s jerking off to me? I haven’t been a chaste princess. I’ve always known I can’t get pregnant, due to the blood curse, so saving myself for marriage seemed rather silly. I slept with my first lover when I was fifteen, and I’ve had a string of them since then. Sex is a craving, and I’ve been so preoccupied with survival in this tower that I’ve had no time to even think about it.

But I’m thinking about it now.

I’m thinking about him touching himself, and how good it must feel to release. Where does he come, I wonder? Into his hand? A cloth he keeps for such purposes? Does he call my name while he’s doing so?

The knife pulses between my breasts, and I shiver with arousal.

I’m tempted to follow his lead and touch myself, to give my body a quick, dirty release, but with my luck, he’d show up in the shadows the moment I put my hand under my skirts. He’s probably already done.

Yes.

There goes that idea. I sit up on my bed and glance around my quarters once more. He wants me to return to his room, and it’s more practical, of course. We can share fuel and meals. We can make everything go twice as far.

It’s just that it also means sharing a bed. He’s slept next to me for the last several days, but I’ve also been ill. The moment I closed my eyes, I was fast asleep, and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Now, though, I’m going to be acutely aware of his presence. I’m going to think about him touching himself.

Does lying beside me in bed arouse him? Is he hard and aching as he lays at my side?

It’s going to be a long winter.

I find a pair of thick woolen stockings and then decide to head back downstairs before Nemeth comes looking for me, or before I get any ideas on seeking my own release. Composed, I shake out my skirts and then pick up the light, exiting the chamber.

When I get back downstairs, I see the door to Nemeth’s room is open, warm, bright light pouring from it. He sits upon his stool by the fire, a large book in his hands and open to the middle. His expression is serene, as if he’s been sitting there reading the entire time I was gone. Such a liar. I smile sweetly at him, feeling a bit naughty at knowing his secrets. “See? I’m fine.”

He eyes me, his gaze moving over my tight-waisted dress. “Isn’t that get-up uncomfortable?”

“This? Not at all.” I put my hands to the bodice and give my tits a jiggle. “It keeps everything in place.”

Nemeth quickly looks away again. “I see.”

It takes everything I have not to smile.