Текст книги "Gossamer Cord"

Автор книги: Philippa Carr

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It was all so sudden…so inexplicable. Edward was dragging me with Gretchen toward the door. Dermot held Dorabella. One of the young men was watching us but he made no attempt to stop us. I had the idea that they were aware that we were foreigners and he was glad to see us go. In the room beyond the inn parlor Frau Brandt was standing, her hands across her breast and a look of abject terror on her face. I thought I had never seen such fear before. She was shaking.

I put an arm around her.

“They’re here…” she murmured. “At last…they are here…”

“Who…are they?” I asked.

“They are intent on destroying us.”

“You know them?”

“We are not the first. But how did they guess? We have never…”

We could hear the noises from beyond. They were destroying the inn parlor.

Frau Brandt sat down and covered her face with her hands. Gretchen went to her and knelt beside her. “Mutter…” she whispered, trembling.

Frau Brandt stroked her daughter’s hair.

“It has come,” she said. “It is here. I had hoped…”

I felt sick with horror.

Dermot said: “There must be something we can do. Shouldn’t we get in touch with the police?”

Gretchen said: “It would be no use. These people…it is what they do now. We are not the first. We did not think they would bother with us. We are so small…we are far from the town. We always believed they would not bother with us…until now. We are Jewish. It is something which it is good to hide these days.”

“We should go out and give a hand,” said Edward. “Clear them off.”

“Yes,” agreed Dermot. “Come on.”

Gretchen clung to Edward. “No…no,” she said. “You must not interfere with them. They will break up the room and go away.”

“Kurt…Helmut…your father…they are there.”

Gretchen still clung to Edward’s arm.

Dermot said: “I’m going out there. You ladies stay here.”

“I’ll come with you,” said Edward.

I could not understand then what it meant. I just listened in horror. I could hear them singing one of the songs which I was beginning to know by heart.

Then suddenly there was quiet.

Edward was out there, I thought. In danger, perhaps. What I had seen of those young men had led me to believe they were intent on destruction.

Because Edward was there I had to know what was happening. I opened the door cautiously. It was a strange sight which met my eyes. The room was in chaos. There were upturned tables and broken glass everywhere. The young men were all standing very still at attention; they were singing, their hands raised as though in a salute.

The customers remained seated, nervously fingering their glasses; they were mute, dazed. Not one of them, I was aware, had attempted to stop the upheaval which had been started by Else’s young man and his half dozen friends. They had allowed these thugs to break up the place. The singing stopped. Else’s young man came forward to where Helmut was standing in the midst of the ravages of the room. He stood before him and then deliberately spat into his face and said: “Jew.”

When he turned away, Helmut’s hands were clenched. Kurt caught hold of him. I thought at first Helmut was going to strike the young man.

The young man was looking straight at me. He stared for a moment. Then he clicked his heels and bowed. He turned away, collected his followers and they filed out of the schloss. I heard the sound of the starting up of car engines and then they drove away.

All the customers were slinking away in relief and, I fancied, with an expression of guilt. We stood in the room then, assessing the damage. There was broken glass everywhere. Several tables had been overturned and some chairs were in pieces. But it was not the damage which was responsible for the oppressive gloom. It was what it indicated. There was so much I had to learn, but I knew this was not an isolated disaster. It was an evil portent.

I heard Frau Brandt whisper in agonized tones: “What are we going to do? What will become of us all?”

I think that was what was in all their minds.

It was late when Dermot went back to his hotel in the town. He said he would come back tomorrow early and help with the clearing up. He could not understand why the Brandts did not call in the police. It was a pure case of unprovoked vandalism.

They did not want to speak of it that night. They were too shocked to do so. Frau Brandt’s attitude told me more than anyone else’s. I sensed in it a certain resignation, an acceptance of something that was inevitable.

It was late when Dorabella and I retired to our bedroom. We were both subdued.

She said that Dermot had been marvelous. He had looked after her so carefully. But I did not want to talk of Dermot. My thoughts were with the Brandts.

We did not sleep much that night. I doubt anyone in the schloss did.

The few guests who were staying had breakfast in the public dining room as Edward, Dorabella, and I did.

Afterwards we went into the damaged room where Kurt and the rest of the family were attempting to restore some order. Edward rolled up his sleeves and worked energetically.

Dorabella and I did what we could. The main difficulty was the broken glass which seemed to have embedded itself in everything.

During the morning Dermot arrived to help. He was very angry. He said it was shameful. He had talked to the people at his hotel and they had said it was happening all over Germany. The Führer wanted a pure race in Germany and that did not include Jews.

It had never occurred to me that the Brandts were Jewish. There had never been any reason to mention it. Edward said he may have heard it and thought no more about it. Kurt was his friend and his race would make no difference to that.

That morning we learned what was happening in Germany.

We had worked for several hours and cleaned most of the debris; we had taken away the broken chairs, set up all the upturned tables, washed a great deal of the stains from the walls which had been made by the tankards of beer which had been thrown against them; and in the dim light the room did not look much different from what it had before the debacle had begun.

We were all tired and sat down together. Gloom hung over us as thick as the forest mist.

It was no use ignoring it, and I am sure we found a slight relief in talking of it.

Kurt said: “It had to happen sooner or later. I am only sorry that it was during your visit. I am ashamed that you should have seen it. It is a blight on our nation. But you must not go away and think: ‘This is the Germans.’ It fills many of us with sorrow. It is an ulcerous growth…a cancer. It fills us with shame and, yes, fear. From one day to the next we do not know what our fate will be.”

“It is monstrous,” cried Dermot. “How can people let it happen? These thugs—they are nothing more—come with their songs and slogans…and dare do that! And they get away with it. I think one of the most shameful aspects of the case is that it was allowed to happen and nothing was done about it.”

“It has been so for some time,” said Hans. “These people are members of the Hitler Youth of the Nazi Party. When Adolf Hitler became Chancellor in 1933 he put Baldur von Schirach in charge of the youth of the country. German boys of ten were registered for what they call Racial Purity and known as the Deutsche Jungvolk. They are investigated to make sure they have no ‘alien’ blood, and if not, they are eligible at the age of thirteen to join the Hitler Youth Movement, the Hitler Jugend. At the age of eighteen they graduate from this and become members of the Nazi Party.”

“Whose aim it is to go round the country breaking up people’s homes!” cried Dermot indignantly.

“They are what are called Aryans, it seems.”

“It’s monstrous,” said Edward. “This can’t go on.”

“It has been going on for some time,” said Kurt, “and it grows worse.”

“Do you mean to say,” cried Edward, “that you live in fear that this sort of thing may happen at any minute?”

“I have lived with that fear for some time now.”

“And the people stand by and allow it!”

“They can do nothing else. The Führer has done so much for the country. We were in a dreadful state. Our currency was worthless…our people in desperation. We are not a race to sit down quietly and accept such a fate. We do something about it. We were defeated in the war and for that we had to suffer poverty and humiliation. Then this man came. He did much good. It is unfortunate for us that he hates our race. I sometimes believe that he wants to exterminate us completely.”

“That’s impossible,” said Dermot. “And this can’t go on. It’s ridiculous. And all these people who were there did nothing to stop it!”

“They were wise. No one can stand against the Nazis. They are in control.”

“It seems incredible that people could be allowed to behave so.”

“It is difficult for you to understand. But this is Germany.”

“Do you mean,” said Edward, “that tonight they may come along and do the same thing again?”

“I do not think they will do that. We are not important enough. We are only small people. They will go somewhere else. They have warned us…that is all. They want us to go away. But we have lived here all our lives…our forefathers were here before us. That means nothing to them. They do not like our race.”

Every one of us wished we knew how to comfort them. But there was no comfort we could offer.

We were all subdued. I had no desire to go out again. The fairy-tale villages had lost their charm for me. They had a beautiful exterior behind which evil lurked. I just wanted to get away, to go home, where everything would be normal. I looked back over those enjoyable days before I had seen that spectacle of destruction, but I could not forget the expression in the eyes of Else’s lover. How could a young man like that behave as he had? He had no pity for the innocent people he had attacked. I could have understood if there had been a quarrel and he had lost his temper, but it had all been done in cold blood. It was a senseless, calculated attack on people because they were of a different race from his own.

I told Edward that the leader of the band was Else’s friend. I explained what I had seen.

“I wonder if she knew he was going to do what he did,” I said.

“Perhaps,” replied Edward. “It explains things. She must have discovered that the family was Jewish. There is the old man in his black cap reading the Scriptures. He might have betrayed the fact.”

Edward was thoughtful. He told me later that he had passed on the information to Kurt who had said that it was very likely. They lived among spies. If Else had betrayed them, there was nothing they could do about it. To dismiss her would mean great trouble. Of that they could be sure.

Edward could not bring himself to let the matter rest. He had enough German to speak to Else and he could not resist doing so.

He told me about the conversation afterwards. He had said to her: “Was that a friend of yours who created all that damage last night?”

“I could see from her expression that she was quite truculent,” he went on. “She said defiantly: ‘Yes. It was.’ I answered: ‘And what did you think of what happened here last night?’ She replied: ‘It was for Germany and the Führer. We want an Aryan Germany. It is the Führer’s orders. We don’t want Jews here.’ I reminded her: ‘But those are the people you work for.’ ‘I should be employed by Aryans,’ she answered. ‘Why do you work here, then?’ I asked. ‘It is a job and my friend lives in the town nearby,’ she answered.

“It was just hopeless,” went on Edward. “I could not get through to her. She graciously made it clear that she had nothing against me. I wasn’t German, which was why I could not understand what it meant to Germany to have a pure race.”

“Oh, Edward,” I said. “It is so horrible. What if Kurt…his parents…Helmut and Gretchen…?”

Edward looked worried. “I have been talking to Kurt. They should get out.”

“How can they?”

“I don’t know. But they should consider it.”

“We shall be going soon,” I said. “It will be worrying to leave them…knowing what we do…having seen what we have seen.”

Edward looked deeply concerned. I thought then that he was perhaps more involved with Gretchen than I had realized.

I was certain of this when he said: “Gretchen is only a little older than you and Dorabella. Imagine what it must be like for her.”

“And Kurt and Helmut. I think they are ashamed in a way. They would rather it had happened when we were not here.”

“I suppose that is natural. And when you think that sort of thing is going on all over the country, it is something to be ashamed of. Violetta, how can we go away and leave them here?”

“What else can we do?”

“Well, it was Gretchen I was thinking of in particular. We could take her back with us.”

“Take her back!”

“We could say it was a holiday or something. She could stay with you. I am sure your mother would understand when we explained to her. She always understands.”

“I see,” I said.

“She is only a girl. How could we leave her here? With that likely to happen at any moment…?”

“You are very fond of her,” I said.

He nodded.

I smiled. “Well, you know my mother. She always comes to the rescue of people in distress.”

“As I have good reason to know. You and Dorabella could ask her back to stay with us for a while. That would be the best way of doing it.”

“And then you come and stay with us while she is there,” I said. “Edward, I understand perfectly.”

“It will be for you to suggest it,” he said. “I could hardly do so. And frankly, Violetta, the idea of leaving her here…”

“I understand,” I said. “I’ll suggest it.”

“And I’ll speak to Kurt on the quiet. He will see that it is the best thing. I couldn’t leave her here after what I saw last night.”

I told Dorabella what I proposed to do. She was amused.

“Poor Edward,” she said. “He really is smitten.”

“She’s a beautiful girl.”

“Do you think he wants to marry her?”

“I should think it very likely. He is very much in love.”

“How gorgeous! One wouldn’t expect it of old Edward.”

“Most people do things sometimes which one would not expect them to.”

“Old wiseacre!” she muttered affectionately.

She was in a good mood. Last night had been horrifying but it had brought her closer to Dermot Tregarland. I guessed she was thinking of a double wedding. Herself and Dermot; Edward and Gretchen. I knew her so well I could often read her thoughts.

I lost no time in suggesting to Gretchen that she should come to stay with us. She opened her eyes wide in astonishment.

I said: “It would be good for you to get away for a while, and you’d be interested to see England.”

Her pleasure showed in her face; then I saw the apprehension and I knew that she was thinking that though she might escape unpleasantness, there would be the perpetual anxiety for her family.

I felt a great affection for her in that moment. I think she cared for Edward, and the idea of going with him back to his country away from the ominous shadow which had fallen on her life seemed wonderful to her. If only they could all go…

But that was not possible.

Poor Gretchen! She was undecided.

It would be her family who would make up her mind for her; and they did.

Kurt was overcome with gratitude; so were Helmut and the parents; and it was decided that when we left we would take her with us for a holiday.

It was our last day. We were to leave the following morning. Kurt would drive us to the station and in due course the long journey to the coast would begin. We seemed almost like different people from those who had arrived here. I felt I should never be the same again. Whenever I saw anything beautiful I should look for the canker lurking beneath.

I went to say goodbye to the grandparents of whom we had seen very little during our stay, as they kept mainly to their own rooms.

Grossvater was reading the Scriptures and smiled at me rather vaguely. I told him that I should be leaving soon and he smiled on me benignly and gave me his blessing.

Then I went to Grossmutter who was seated in her rocking chair, her knitting in her hand. She was less vague and gave me a warm smile.

“It is good of you to come,” she said. I was amazed that she could speak English; and during my stay here I had improved on my school German to some extent so that conversation was possible.

“Grossvater and I, we are the old ones. We stay here in our rooms…like two pieces of furniture which are no longer much use.”

I protested at this.

“Oh, yes,” she said. “Two pieces of furniture without use but which must not be thrown away.” She laid a hand on my arm. “They tell me that Gretchen is going back with you.”

“Yes, we thought it a good idea.”

“What you saw down there…” She put her face closer to mine. “It told you much…?”

“It was a shock.”

She nodded. “You now know…”

“It was so unexpected…so pointless.”

She shook her head. “It has always been,” she said somberly. “I was told it would be different here…and it was so…for a long time. You see, I do not belong to this country. I am a Brandt only by marriage. When I was eight years old I came here from Russia.”

“So you are Russian by birth?”

She nodded. “There it was the same. They called it the pogrom. We never knew when it would happen. Then we would be up…leaving much behind…and off we went. So it is to me not new…though a long time ago.”

“This cruel persecution. It seems so senseless to me.”

“It is a hatred of our race.”

“But why?”

“Ask the Lord. Only He will know. But it has always been. My family thought that coming here would be different. But you see, it has followed us here. We come to Germany…we leave all behind. I was young. I do not remember clearly. It was a long journey. I remember we had a wheelbarrow. We brought what we could. We were so weary. We slept anywhere we could find a place. Some people were kind to us. I do not know how long it went on. When you are young you forget so much. There are gaps in the memory. One forgets what one does not want to remember.”

“Does it upset you to recall it?”

She shook her head. “It helps,” she said. “What happened then…what happens now. There is a pattern to life. That was the beginning…and now it seems I return to it at the end.”

“I am so sorry.”

“It is life. We settled in Germany. We think, this is the good country. It seemed so. Those who worked hard were rewarded. My father became a tailor. He was very good. He worked hard. We were poor for a long time…but then he has his own shop. Then he has two shops…and three. I had brothers. We all worked together. Then one day, when I was in the shop, a handsome man comes in. My father is to make a suit for him. We met and fell in love. It was the Grossvater.”

“And you were happy then?”

“Very happy. I came to the schloss. I have been here ever since. At first it was wonderful and then the war comes. Then not so good. Disaster and defeat. We were not rich any more. But we kept on at the schloss and things grew better. We are becoming prosperous again…and then…”

“This started,” I said. “But to you it was not entirely unexpected.”

She shook her head. “I was waiting for it. It has happened to others. My son thought we were too remote…not important enough. We have never made much show that we are Jewish. Someone must have told.”

I knew who that was. Else had informed her lover.

I did not mention this as the girl was still with them and I guessed it would disturb Grossmutter.

“I want you to know how happy I am that you are taking Gretchen with you. She is a dear girl…a good girl. They are pleased…my son and his wife…that the good Edward feels love for her. He will take care of her.”

“I wish we could take you all.”

She laughed. “You are a good girl. I knew that when I first saw you. Your sister…your twin, eh?…she is very attractive…but light-hearted. You are a good, kind girl. It is a great weight from our minds that Gretchen goes with you.”

“I am so glad that she is coming.”

“And the young man…he is a good young man. Earnest…reliable…I hope much that all will go as we hope. It is the old pattern. It is with us through the ages. It is our heritage…and who are we to question it? My dear child, I shall think of you and be so grateful that you came to us. You will see what is happening here and you can tell your people at home.”

I bent and kissed her wrinkled cheek and she put out a hand and touched mine.

“May the blessing of the Lord God go with you,” she said.

When I came down, Frau Brandt said to me: “Grossmutter has been talking to you?”

“Yes,” I said. “It was very moving.”

“Her childhood in Russia?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Poor Grossmutter. She is sad about all this. She thought she had done with that when she left her homeland all those years ago. Now here it is again. We have been through some hard years and now that we seem to be coming to some prosperity again…this comes. Well, I want you to know how grateful we are to you for taking Gretchen back with you.”

“She is worried about leaving you.”

“Yes, poor Gretchen. But she wants to go…if she stayed she could not be happy to say goodbye to Edward.”

“I know.”

Her eyes shone with hope. “And now we are happy for her…and so grateful to you all. I worry about her more than Kurt and Helmut. The boys can take better care of themselves. We shall be thinking of you.”

“And we shall be thinking of you.”

“Yes, I know. This has not been just a holiday…a brief stay with friends, has it? What happened the other night has been significant. I do not want Gretchen to grieve for us. Our people have been persecuted throughout the ages. It has made us strong. We have suffered in the past and we shall in the future. But we shall survive. We always have.”

She took me into her arms and we embraced.

She was right. What had happened—deeply shocking as it was—had brought us all together.

Soon after that we said our final farewells and left.

We crossed the Channel that night. The sea was calm and we sat on deck, huddled in rugs, for the night air was chilly.

The stars were brilliant against a dark blue velvet sky. There were not many people on deck. The majority of the passengers had decided to stay below. Not far from me sat Gretchen and Edward, their chairs close. I saw that they were holding hands. And then there was Dorabella and Dermot Tregarland. To her delight, Dermot had traveled with us.

So much had happened during that brief holiday. Love was much in evidence. I thought the course of four people’s lives had been changed—five if I considered my own, for what touched Dorabella must be of importance to me, too. Romance and love were charming, and on this occasion they had blossomed among much which was ugly.

I felt apart. Looking up at the stars, I was aware of the enormity of the universe. I felt alone and rather sad, shut out in a way. Edward and Gretchen…Dorabella and Dermot…

I wondered if this was significant and whether love was destined to pass me by.