Текст книги "Trump is the savior of mankind"
Автор книги: Олег Рыбаченко
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Tamp is the savior of mankind
ANNOTATION
On the planet Earth, the elves invade and occupy it. President Donald Trump becomes a jester in the harem of the goddess. But fate gives him a chance to get closer to Almighty.
. PROLOGUE
Planet Earth, like a crystal, blue ball smoothly runs in orbit. She looks so helpless and touching. A representative of the race of elves, richly dressed Bernard Jed, pointed the arrow of the monitor on the image of the human cradle.
Thinly propilikal:
– This is a new world where unhappy, humiliated creatures live! Our task is to take them under the protection!
The girl so similar to the earth, only with pointed ears characteristic for the elven race, in rich clothes and with earrings in her ears, rang out in a thin voice:
"People are ruining each other." This is their greatest tragedy. We should make them happy with our patronage.
A brooch from an unknown metal, elves flashed on the hair, representatives of the ancient cosmic civilization. Bright pebbles shone in the brooch. Dominated silver and blue, which was a symbol of a light elf from the population of Luciferstan.
Another girl with brooches adorned with scarlet, like rubies, only with even more beautiful and bright stones – the sign of the dark elf noticed:
– Such aggressive races rarely voluntarily go under the protection. They usually have to force this force.
The third girl is also beautiful, like the others, but with hair in the form of petals of flowers, and a brooch with bright green metal – the forest elf said:
"We won more powerful in technological, and especially magically, race than earthlings. And if they give up the help they have extended, then we will simply conquer them!
And three girls in the rank of marshal chorused their hands up!
Bernard Zhed, elf magister, more like a face with magnificent hair on a girl, and different from the girls only figure and costume, tender voice said:
– We will try to talk with people as much as possible responsibly and humanely. But in case of failure, for the sake of the good of mankind, violence is applicable:
Three elves chorused:
"Come with us Magoplasma!"
After that, the first one threw up a light-colored elf's shining blue color:
– Marshal Angel is ready in the quasar!
The second raised her hand, a dark elf shining with scarlet color:
"Marshal Beson is ready in the pulsar!"
The third raised her hand, an elven tree shining with emerald color:
– Marshal Chaschev is ready in the photon!
For a moment the hall was lit by a bright flash. And there was an image of a woman of fairy beauty, in gold armor, not hiding, but only emphasizing its charms. Armor over were painted: stones sparkling brighter and more beautiful than earthly jewels, different colors, which can not find an analogue on earth, and amazes with its richest range. Hair written beauty glittered with all the colors of the rainbow, and seven brooches, struck
elegance and subtlety of work.
The girl appeared impressed with the marvelous perfection of her unique beauty.
Standing in the ranks of the elves and elfiks, they shook the muggers and exclaimed in chorus:
– Greetings to you the Goddess Affa!
The deity with a radiant smile on his face answered loudly:
– I am also glad to welcome my people! Your army, I hope, is ready for the next conquest?
Elves and elf in chorus answered:
– With us Hypermagoplasma, and the strength of our ancestors!
Affa answered stiffly:
"So subdue this sublunary world!"
. CHAPTER? 1
The appearance behind the orbit of Pluto of drop-shaped starships, became the biggest news on planet Earth. Astrophysicist Sergei Leonov first saw the canopy constructed in strict geometric form the ships of the elves.
Sergei did not know yet that they were brothers in reason, but he was so impressed that he overturned a glass of tomato juice. Then he rushed headlong into the bathroom. There bald head bashfully rammed a mirror. From above sprinkled expensive costume jewelry and a large bank of expensive French in spirit, shmyaknulas, professorial bald head. On the spilled spilled spirit, mixing blood with perfume. How the stung astrophysicist howled.
The professor's wife came running from the kitchen with a rolling pin and warmed her unlucky peasant over the long-suffering head. The lady yelled:
"How dare you, smash my spirits a beast ..."
The professor was startled in fright:
– I have seen...
The woman fucked again on the broken bald head and panted:
"You did not see anything!" Pull yourself out, blindfolding the zenks! What you created deserves a guillotine!
The professor groaned heavily:
"I need to call the institute ... It's a sensation!"
– That's when the light for non-payment will be turned off, you will have a sensation! "Your wife threatened." But graciously allowed to go to the old telephone and dial the number.
After that, though Sergei suffered, but immediately turned out to be a worldwide celebrity.
Now the news of rapidly approaching subjects a few kilometers in diameter each became a sensation. The whole planet literally zaburlila.
The situation in the world was extremely tense. Wars raged. The Russian army fought in Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan, and also in the North Caucasus, not wishing to fade the Middle East. The Americans temporarily withdrew their troops and stopped interfering in the situation around the world. So now it was Russia that began to fight in many hot regions.
Defense spending in Russia has grown proportionately, while the United States has been engaged in domestic affairs and the economy, in fact, not using weapons abroad.
Economic difficulties created the growth of Islamism in the North Caucasus, and further burdened the economy with defense spending. Although it seems easier to live without the US, but playing the role of a world policeman is a big burden. In addition, the Russian president was seriously ill, and without him everything went wrong.
The second term of Trump was coming to an end, the US economy was on a big rise, the newest technologies were developing. There was talk of a third term, but this was still talk. Russia has significantly increased its influence in the world, as well as the strength and combat potential of the army, but it cost a lot to the people – all have tightened their belts and taxes have grown.
Nevertheless, a settlement with nuclear missiles was established on the Moon, which became a symbol of the prestige of the great state.
But in America there was growing discontent with passive foreign policy, especially in the circles of the elite. Although the United States, having transferred the role of the world police Russia, only benefited, including in terms of security, and the Muslims simply ceased to be allowed into their territory.
But the great empire also wanted everyone to bend and build. So it is with all the powers.
But while the world remains with its problems ... And here the aliens are brothers in reason! Wow!
In the human cities, mass jubilation began. At last the century-old dream of mankind has come true: a meeting with a reasonable form of life. How else? After all, they are brothers in reason, and the older ones, since they managed to reach the Earth. Maybe they can put things in order on this long-suffering planet? Or to give people something new and beautiful?
In any case, the faith in the aliens is strong. In Russia, which became a hegemonic country, the Security Council met. The President sat with difficulty in his chair, twisting his head. Secretary of the Security Council Marshal Vasily Ovcharov spoke.
He spoke slightly hysterically, as if barking:
"We must immediately conduct all military measures and be ready to destroy the enemy with one stroke of nuclear weapons!"
The Minister of Defense, Tatyana Markova, was more cautious:
– Since the aliens managed to reach us, having overcome unimaginable distances, their science stands much higher than the terrestrial one. And taking up war with them, we can render as savages, that the T-110 tank attacks with stone axes.
This statement aroused the approval of the president, who raised his head and looked at everyone with a tired look. There was an outwardly weak, but menacing voice for the whole world, shifting at once armada of tanks, airplanes, ships and precision missiles capable of reaching anywhere on the globe.
"Brothers came to us in reason." They should organize a worthy meeting, regardless of their intentions. And just in case, prepare a nuclear arsenal for use.
Prime Minister Shchukin promised:
"Mr. President, we will do everything right." Let us have little time. While we try to go out with the aliens to communicate.
President slowly with difficulty, pronouncing the words, said:
– And no provocations. Even if the aliens came with an evil purpose, we should not open fire first!
It's hard when you're getting old. The last months of the term are already expiring, and you have not yet decided on the successor.
And now they came from the sky ... Maybe it was interesting to ask the aliens for an elixir of eternal youth, something that will help to return the years. And not so immediately rush into the bloody slaughterhouse with a technologically superior enemy.
Starships of the elven fleet quickly reached the target, and were suspended in the orbit of the planet Earth at an altitude of ten thousand kilometers, which now became visible to the naked eye. Three hundred and thirty-three spaceships, The impressive sizes are located along the surface. They looked like droplets, or blue whales, streamlined shape, nimble and nimble despite the size.
Starships elves moved, as if devoid of inertia, then disappeared, then the opposite arose in the sky. They made a strong impression on the air defense service. The Russian military was extremely nervous. They encountered something inexplicable, and all the inexplicable scares, even the hardened warriors. It's one thing to have an acquaintance and, even more so, a previously battered enemy, and another thing is with someone you do not know, but who does not show great strength.
But while the elves behaved peacefully. The Russian president delivered a short message to the nation and planet Earth, if already the chief police officer of Russia, and Trump demonstratively ignores.
Speaking the leader of Russia, he called for calm, and announced that the aliens were waiting for the most cordial reception. That the planet Earth and Russia personally is open to contact with someone else's mind, and in fact it's a joyful occasion to learn that people are not alone in the universe.
Suddenly, the president's speech was interrupted and a face appeared very similar to a cute girl with a brooch in lush, sparkling hair, and shoulder straps.
A pleasant, sonorous voice rang on all the ethers:
"I'm glad that you earthmen prepared for a warm welcome." We are a great cosmic empire Luciferstan is also very fond of you people and offer our patronage. You will be well under our management. We will end with old age and disease, with hunger and wars!
The president of Russia immediately became animated. He raised his head and asked hopefully:
"Can you rejuvenate the old man?"
Similar to a girl with precious shoulder straps, the subject nodded:
– Of course! Our power allows even this! Become our subjects and you will receive eternal youth!
The president of Russia hesitated. The prospect of rejuvenation is very tempting when you are already over seventy and you are exhausted by the long-term management of the country. And how many problems. And in Africa, the Russians are fighting in Afghanistan and Central Asia. There is no famine in the country, but the products are very expensive, and most of the economy works for the military sector. The people are growing dissatisfied that Russia has undertaken a difficult mission – a world policeman. And this is a colossal expenditure, for all these peacekeeping operations, and assistance to different countries.
Yes, of course in the future it will pay off, and Russia will harvest the harvest from the established in different countries puppet regimes. But it's all in the future, but for now it's up to you to make huge investments yourself. One Syria cost tens of billions of dollars, and the Mujahideen all continue the war there. And from the fact that the US left Iraq, it only got worse. And after the Americans left Afghanistan, Russia was forced to come there. And again, wars, expenses, zinc coffins. Trump gave Russia the banner of the world gendarme, but by that he suffered a heavy burden.
And at that moment the marshal Angel of the Angel gave the order:
– Carry out an operation and neutralize the Russian missile base on the Moon.
The detachment, under the command of the warrior Velimara, moved in the surface. Elves, more numerous (they are twelve times more than males) pronounced the techno magic spell, turning into a kind of Centaurs, only on caterpillars, and straight on to the vacuum rushed to the moon. Each girl and boy was surrounded by a cloak of invisibility, making it invisible to radar. Elves landed, near the base. Together with them there were two bear-druids.
The seizure team synchronously pronounced the spell, and the armored fence around the base turned into beautiful, bright-winged butterflies that scattered in all directions. Butterflies were especially capable of flying in a vacuum. At the same time they paled and dissolved like sugar in space.
And the elves attacked the Russian soldiers, who defended the base. They just kissed. They did not see the approaching beauties, they simply stopped and turned into bushes of lush flowers.
And these plants woke up in a vacuum, dope with a honey smell.
Lieutenant-General Goremykin, commander of the base, managed to run out. Right before him a beautiful elf appeared. A girl of perfect beauty, in boots on caterpillars she smiled at the general and said:
– You're so old ... Do you want to become a young daffodil, and grow in a moonlit greenhouse?
General Goremykin replied with anger in his voice:
– That's it! You flew to conquer Russia, but that will not happen! We will not submit to dictate ... Our missiles are already flying towards you!
The elf chuckled as she answered:
"Can chocolate ice cream be dangerous?" Relax the boy and do not be afraid ... My sweet flower ...
From the palm of the hand, the elf shone with radiation, and Goremykin was directly covered with leaves, and diminished in size, turning into a beautiful flower. Similar to the daffodil, but only on each leaf had its own unique pattern.
The girl-elf answered with a laugh:
"However, there is a lot of anger in this man." I lived for a thousand years, but I have not seen so much!
Marshal Angela gladly informed, the great master Bernard Jeru, with his playful voice:
– Mission accomplished! The moon is rendered harmless!
The president of Russia meanwhile asked the leader:
"You are so young ... Are you in charge here?"
Bernard answered with a radiant smile:
– I realize the general command – like a man! But I have three girls-zama!
The President remarked with surprise:
– You are so alike ... Sorry, you have your own customs, and we should not stick to them ...
Bernard released a ring of smoke from his nostrils, which, flying, turned into a diamond necklace, and insinuatingly said:
– Magic will give everything ... As our servants, you will live in luxury, as you never dreamed of!
The president choked and coughed and asked:
"As servants?" I thought it was about equal partnership!
Then Beson answered sternly, the sparkling of the ruby brooch on her head became much brighter:
– You are still backward savages, to talk about equal cooperation. The magic on your planet is only in its infancy. You only know how to do it, it's an eerie nuclear weapon, which we just turned into a beautiful ice cream. Many of your individuals are so aggressive that they deserve to be born only in a greenhouse in the greenhouse.
The president flared with anger and said harshly:
– No! We do not accept your offer. Please leave our planet as soon as possible!
Bernard answered calmly:
"If we come, then we will not leave." And you aggressive primates will be civilized, to a safe level!
Marshal Ovcharov roared:
"I said they were aggressors!" To strike them immediately with nuclear weapons!
The President, trying to keep calm, said:
– Will you leave our world, leave the Earth alone?
Bernard and three elf choruses answered:
– No, it's a cactus! This is already our territory!
The President said with apparent calm:
"Then blame yourself!" I command – sweep aliens from our planet!
Hundreds of nuclear missiles started from the hangars, and rushed to the starships of the elves. They resembled a swarm of ferocious insects carrying thermonuclear charges. But the flattering elves released tiny oak leaves. And these leaves rushed, flashing light to the rockets. As they did not try to rotate and move in orbit, each leaf reached its goal. And the rockets began to decrease, turning into tiny acorns that hung on the leaves. Then, lined up in a line, and right in the vacuum blossomed a grove. It was magical and hung right in the void, demonstrating that miracles happen.
And the invasion began on the ground. The first to fight were druids-bears. These creatures were first two meters high. But as we approached the planet, we grew up, turning into Everest. And these bears raised their paws, and scattered trying to attack them helicopters or combat ground-attack planes. The missiles tore in the attack planes, practically without harming them. And bears vigorously, like waving their propellers with paddles, and crushing everyone in a row. When buildings fell under their paws, the druid bears crunched them, crushed them into accordions.
Demonstrated their power ... But the attack went and elfi. Forest girls turned into centaurs and threw magic disks turning tanks into something very beautiful. And the shells did not cause beauties harm, turning into cakes with cream.
Where there were elfies, groves with wonderful flowers blossomed. Soldiers of all armies of the world turned into beautiful plants. And the more anger in a person, the more vivid and colorful his petals appeared.
Light butterflies raced on butterflies. Russian fighters fired missiles at them, but any weapon is powerless against magic. Deadly charges turned sweets and candies with bright wrappers. They were spinning in the air.
Bears-druids after casting a magic spell got rackets, and moved each other planes and helicopters, playing in this way.
Dark elves forced the soldiers to stone ... Light ones made of weapons, which is delicious and mouth-watering. For example, swinging fins, the fish dived. And the huge modern Russian battleship "Nicholas II", turned into a layered cake. Which looked very appetizing.
Cake length of three hundred meters swam to the bear-druid, who started it with excitement to devour. At the same time, smacking, so that the cream drained over the wool. And people turned into a biscuit, raisins, pistachios, were digested in the stomach of a terrible magical beast.
Yes, the battles were impressive, especially when the butterflies were forced to blossom, into the petals of the skyscrapers. Policemen, soldiers, and generally men treated innocuous plants. Special flatter magic knocked out completely all sorts of ardor. And made me smell like the maki of brave warriors.
But children, too, especially those who were naughty and evil, became either plants. Or, under the influence of dark elves, they turned into large precious stones.
Where the school team played rugby, there was a whole scattering of magic-created jewels. It is very pleasant to watch and admire such things. But it was created with living people, who were turned into crystals. And this must be admitted to the extreme cruel. But at least they do not suffer.
The airplane with a magic jet turns into a butterfly. And the passengers flying in it, also became beautiful insects, flying across the sky. Some of them still retained the remnants of the mind, and enjoyed the vaporization and contrast of temperatures in the stratosphere. How it all looked chic.
Butterflies, and on each wing they have their own drawing. And this picture changes, as memories flash, about the old human life. Druids-bears release magical fire from the mouth, which generates
Marvelous transformations. And much is changing before our eyes. Attempt to use tactical nuclear weapons, lead to the fact that there are new lush and fragrant chocolates. And numerous elves break off pieces from them.
One of them took a fair-haired boy in his arms and gave him a piece of chocolates, perched:
– You will be my slave ... I will keep your personality, not turning into an insect, plant or jewelry.
The elf-general nodded in agreement.
"Some of the primates will need to be kept as intelligent servants." But all those who have aggression in their souls, and malice should be rendered harmless! We can not tolerate an uprising against us.
The Elf said confidently:
– This boy is very kind. Let him be my slave! I will take care of him as my son!
The general warned the light elf:
– Earthlings are essentially savages. Do not spoil them. And slaves even more so. They should be punished severely!
The elf nodded a magic wave in the sniper and noticed:
"But animals need our care." Man is quite a complex animal, and you need to handle it with the appropriate tact.
The general smiled and replied:
"We will make people happy!"
Fortunately, the penning process turned out to be very specific. Elves transformed all aggressive individuals into something valuable. They themselves did not bear losses. Any weapon, and first of all small, turned against the elves and the elf powerless. Each warrior was surrounded by protective magic, which turned shells and bullets into something innocuous, and maximum able to smear.
A magical civilization that conquered several galaxies showed superiority over a purely technological one. Special magic was recharged in generators working on the process of merging quarks and preons. And she warmed up to colossal values. Huge sectors covered the waves, turning everything connected with the war and aggression to dust. Some cities were dropped by selective bombs. And all the evil, or just carrying in themselves at least some aggression people turned to plants from forest elves, jewelry from dark, and beautiful insects from the light. Many transformations took place.
Elves attacked both New York and Washington.
The Americans tried to resist. The newest tanks Gladiator, the beauty and pride of the Western tank building, turned into chocolates or honey cakes. It became extremely funny. Elfs during the battle, they ate with tanks, while they themselves drank fuel or napalm. They laughed gaily at the same time.
Marshal Chaschev peered into a special tray. A pineapple sprinkled with diamonds rolled around it, and the projection of the whole of New York was shown. Trump hid in one of the deep bunkers and tried to lead the US Army.
The leader of America, despite his considerable age, looked young, fit, and vigorously waved his arms, every word accompanied by a strong mat.
And how here not to be angry. The enemy walked like locusts through American cities, and literally rebuilt all the buildings and skyscrapers into a pretentious elven mode. More than ninety percent of the population was transformed into something not living, or inanimate, or at best a plant, an insect. And the army dissolved in magic and completely at all.
She became so, not alive, as if prepared for a children's feast. And this emerged a kingdom where there was no longer a person and his personality as such. People were deprived of their combat unit, and ceased to be people, for man is characterized by an admixture of aggression and anger. This is its property.
Trump, who raised the US economy to an unthinkable height, ousted China economically from Africa and achieved hegemony in Latin America, now faced a clear challenge to the Yankees' dream.
Here the Statue of Liberty rose into the air, and turned into a naked girl, with a lush breasts and a trident in her hands. Such a beauty turned out, with a weapon. And in the other hand the torch flared, and the statue began to dance.
And buildings-skyscrapers from time to time
And skyscraper buildings jumped from time to time. They have now become themselves are not similar, having acquired unique elf forms – of which not the same one.
Trump shouted at the five-star General Shvartskof:
– Where is our nuclear potential?
Stammering, the general replied:
– I do not know Mr. President ...
Trump growled.
"What do you mean, I do not know!" You are the head of the general staff and you must know the location of any part of us. And you do not even know that, and that!
The General sighed heavily and answered:
"But Mr. President, the connection has been broken." Cell phones on the eyes turn into ice cream.
The US President took a pistol from his pocket. And literally snapped: instead of weapons, he had in his hand a pack of expensive cookies. But Trump did not become angry, and grinning, he unzipped a bright wrapper with the image of toon. They looked like wonderful elves, and when the president began to tear the wrapper, they squeaked:
– Be careful! Wild creatures should not be aggressive!
Trump grinned and remarked:
– Aggression like air, sometimes it shows through, but in the absence it is impossible to breathe!
The cartoon elf on the wrapper amusedly screwed up her eyes, replied:
-The war is like a game of crimped cards, only the winnings are always sprinkled with tears!
Trump smiled sincerely and replied to the cartoon:
– In a card game, fraud is immoral and punishable, morally and rewardfully in the war!
A cartoon elf gave out:
– Do not sit on the stalk, do not eat pie!
The US President broke off a piece of waffle and said:
– And that's just eat!
After chewing and swallowing, Trump said with satisfaction:
– Tasty though! The taste is exotic, but pleasant. Not bad prepare elves!
The general timidly gave his voice:
– You see, Mr. President, we are faced with something unprecedented and unheard of. With that, for the first time.
Trump said judiciously:
– Everything in our life happens for the first time, including birth. But then we get used to and win.
Schwarzkof said arrogantly:
– Can you, the great genius of the economy, suggest how we can cope with such an affliction?
Trump began to reason in his ears:
– Guns are exterminated by guns, planes by air or air defense, tanks by tanks or mines ... Magic is needed against magic ... Then the billionaire stopped and made a calculation added. "But if we do not have magic, then another asymmetric answer is required."
The general was curious:
"What kind of asymmetric answer can there be for magic?"
The President of America replied:
– The church at all times, in any case, in the Middle Ages struggled with sorcerers. Let it and serve in the struggle with the elven demons!
. CHAPTER? 2.
A deep bunker, with many already extinct or blooming, like flowers monitors.
On the walls in gilded frames hang portraits of outstanding Russian and Soviet generals. They painted beautiful artists with oil. Here and Kutuzov, and Suvorov, Brusilov, Zhukov, Vasilevsky, Frunze, Dmitry Donskoy and others ...
And their faces are gloomy, for the first time Motherland is experiencing such cruel trials.
The Russian president, too, was not in the best of conditions. He faced a challenge against which atomic tanks and invisible aircraft with nuclear warheads are powerless. There is a completely different technical and magical level. And it's hard to oppose anything. The more difficult it is to concentrate. The head is cracking, the energy is at zero. It seems that everything is ready to regain his youth, even become a servant of the elves, and then arrange an uprising.
True, he never liked the revolutions of the Maidans. For example, he did not try to scorch the Baltic region by raising the Russian-speaking population to fight. Even in the Donbass, rebels with tricolor flags, he met cool. Rather, they helped them in spite of, than by his monarch's will. Then, together with Trump solved this problem, despite the fact that the possibilities to expand the riot were.
But I did not want to include in the composition of Russia the rebels, who could and the future rebel against the Kremlin order. They agreed on a federal compromise and this calmed down. Indeed, the country is burdened by the burden of military spending the very place for rebellion. The people, of course, by themselves will not go to the insurrection. We need organizations that will push it to it. And in the Donbas, there are already such structures, and who will give a guarantee that they, having become accustomed to leftism, will be loyal.
But the army was strengthened and aircraft carriers were built.
Only it is unclear how to cope with the magical power that draws shells into candy? It is beyond the rational world. Here you do not know how to approach the space aliens. Can it really be better to give up than to be on a pot? Rational way to save your life, and there it will be seen!
The Russian president made a request to the center of communication with the petition to send an appeal to aliens. In response, the camera showed how the Ostankino TV tower turned into a huge and magnificent culinary product. It looked brightly colored and very appetizing, but completely useless for information transfer.
