Текст книги "Jagged Love"

Автор книги: Nicole Simone

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Water dripped down my forehead as I stared up at Andrew’s loft. His blinds were pulled back and the floor to ceiling windows offered little privacy. Night had descended since my walk to the lakefront. I debated returning to my apartment, but my legs had a mind of their own and went in the opposite direction.

A couple spilled out of the bar next-door, giggling. Their hands interlocked as they swayed together like a unit. The man whispered something in his girlfriend’s ear and playfully slapped her butt. She squealed in delight. A weird pang of longing hit me square in the gut. Usually a drunken couple shoving their love in my face would be the bane of my existence. Tonight though, I found it sweet. It’s not easy to find somebody to slog through life with. My mouth tipped into a scowl. God, I was starting to sound like a romantic. The couple slinked into an alleyway where a couple of seconds of later¸ moans shattered the silence.

Gross.

Tightening my belt on my jacket, I walked into Andrew’s building and rode the elevator to the fifth floor. As the doors opened, Andrew’s handsome face came into view. I took in his strained features. It looked like I wasn’t the only one who had a tough day.

His gaze locked with mine and relief shined brightly. “You’re here.”

“Where else would I be?”

He tugged me out the elevator and into his arms. Taken aback, my muscles stiffened but it didn’t take long before my arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Concern lined his mouth as he pulled back. “You weren’t at work.”

“I went for a walk.”

“For eight hours?”

“You disappeared for longer than that last night,” I said defensively.

“A drug dealer isn’t after me.”

“So? That just means you can leave without letting me know where and I can’t. To my knowledge, you invited me into your home as a guest, not as a prisoner.”

Andrew ran his fingers through his hair as an exasperated sigh left his lips. “I thought you had gotten kidnapped or worse, killed.”

“Those sound equally bad.”

His arms flew into the air. “I know!”

Andrew’s clear concern for my well-being confounded me. My whole existence I didn’t have to report to anybody. I came and went as I pleased. A luxury as a teenager, but as I grew older the fear of slipping in the shower and not being found manifested into a worry of mine. So much so, Monica gave me a Life Alert button for Christmas.

I touched his elbow. “Hey….”

Andrew’s brown eyes lifted and a rush of affection swallowed me.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. Here’s a crazy idea: We should exchange numbers.”

His gaze twinkled with laughter. “I don’t know. That is a huge step for us.”

“I know but I think we can handle it. Be warned of my overuse of emojis though.”

“What are emojis?”

Thinking he was joking, I burst out laughing until confusion on his face confirmed otherwise. Andrew was a brilliant artist, business aficionado, and jack-of-all-trades, yet didn’t know what emojis were.

“You know? Those smiley faces people put into their text messages,” I explained.

“I don’t text.”

My mouth hung open, dumbfounded. “You don’t text?”

“No. It’s not a proper form of communication. I believe in actually hearing the person speak instead of reading a string of meaningless words.” As if gearing up for a speech, Andrew cleared his throat. “My grandmother has a chest filled to the brim with old love letters sent to her by my grandfather when he was at war. He took the time to remind my grandmother that she was on his mind and that he still loved her and couldn’t wait to hold her again. A text message isn’t the same. It’s flippant.”

Andrew sounded like a man well beyond twenty something. “How old are you?”

“If I told you I was seventy five, would you believe me?”

“Yes. However….” My eyes racked over his body with obvious approval. “You don’t appear to be a day over twenty-six.”

He tipped an imaginary hat and bowed deeply. A bad fake southern accent tainted his words. “Why thank you, Ms. Haven. I do appreciate your generosity.”

The veil shrouding my happiness lifted and lightness shined through. Andrew had a gift for making me temporarily forget about the ugliness.

Smiling, I slapped him playfully. “You are ridiculous.”

Andrew gripped my hand where it landed below his sleeve. His bare skin was warm underneath my touch. The joking atmosphere dissipated as his gaze turned earnest. “I am really glad you are ok, Haven. When Mallory told me she had no idea where you went, I almost had a heart attack. You’re more important to me than you realize.” He examined my expression and whatever he saw caused him to let out a short laugh. “I know you don’t believe me especially after last night but I ran not because of an ex, but because I don’t want to ruin this.”

The blood rushed to my ears. I wanted to hear him say it. “Ruin what?”

Andrew linked together our fingers and brought them up between us like a barrier. “Ruin this.” He glanced at our hands. “Whenever anybody talked about an instant connection, I thought it was bullshit until I met you. We have something rare that shouldn’t be rushed. I want to get to know you. The real Haven….” He scrunched up his eyebrows when he realized he didn’t know my last name.

“McClain.” I supplied.

“Haven McClain.” He repeated it softly, testing my full name on his tongue. “Pretty.”

When Andrew said it, it did sound pretty. Beautiful even. “What’s yours?”

“Foster.” A low chuckle softened his face. “I can’t believe we are now just finding out each other’s last name’s. Then again our courtship has been anything but slow.”

Andrew, a rare romantic, believed in the power of the written word and used words like courtship. While I loved that side of him, he had wooed me enough. I was ready to get naked with him. Nonetheless, for better or worse, Andrew stood by his convictions. A trait both admirable and incredibly frustrating rolled into a neat package. After that steamy preview of what I was in for this morning, I could practically taste him on my lips and feel his hard thickness between my thighs, pushing me to the edge of nirvana.

Worry lined his mouth. “Shit, did I say too much? Sometimes, I get overly passionate and scare girls off.”

If only Andrew knew where my mind had wandered. “Not at all. I like how passionate you are.”

He beamed, capturing another piece of my heart. Andrew broke the chain of our linked hands and dropped his arms to his sides. “Come on, I have a piece of cake with your name on it.”

“Why do you have cake?”

“I bake when I’m stressed.”

Another trait to add to his growing list of skills. At this rate, I would be shocked if he wasn’t talented at something. In all likelihood, Andrew spoke French and read textbook-sized novels straight out of the womb. I felt smarter just being in his presence.

He held open his apartment door. “Did I mention there is thick fudge frosting as well?”

I sat at Andrew’s marble slab kitchen island, drinking a cold glass of almond milk. The cake had put me into a glorious sugar coma. Andrew was on his second slice. It was unfair how much he ate without compromising his godlike physique.

He licked frosting off the fork. “My mom was given this recipe from her grandmother. It has been in my family for generations.”

“Wow. I don’t have anything that resembles an heirloom in my family.”

“Really?”

“My mom wasn’t the sentimental type.”

“How ‘bout your grandmother?”

My mom had left home when she was sixteen and never looked back. I had no idea where my extended family lived or if they knew I existed. Whenever I asked, my mom had told me they weren’t worth my breath. Picking up our dirty dishes off the island, his question went un-answered.

I could feel his weighty stare through the thin cotton of my t-shirt. “When did your mom marry Sumiko’s dad the first time?”

Wincing, her name was like a paper cut. Nonetheless, their wedding was one of my greatest memories. I had finally gotten the sister I’d always wanted. “They married when I was five. It lasted for about six years.”

“And the second time?”

“The second time was when I was twelve. That lasted for three but by then Sumiko and I were blood sisters. On our eighteenth birthdays we got matching tattoos.”

Andrew appeared beside me and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. “What did you two get?”

“The symbol for forever.”

My hand instinctively moved to the side of my rib cage, where the two interlocking circles with three swallows were inked. Sumiko had drawn the design herself.

His eyes followed my hand. “Is that where it is?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Can I see it?”

I hesitated. Underneath my clothes was a map of my childhood scars. Whenever, a guy and I had sex, there were three rules they had to abide by: lights off, no touching, and shirt stays on. They were usually more than happy to oblige. While cold and meaningless, it worked until it didn’t anymore. Andrew glanced away and turned on the dishwasher. I could tell he perceived my silence as mistrust. Upset, his shoulders tensed. If anybody could cut away the barbed wire fence around my heart, it would be Andrew. Might as well start now.

I lifted my t-shirt, exposing the bottom half of my chest. “Sumiko and I wanted to add beauty and hope to an otherwise ugly reminder.”

Andrew’s gaze landed on my rib cage. I turned my head away unable to witness his reaction. Light as a butterfly’s kiss, his fingers brushed over the puckered red scar that the tattoo was inked over and I jolted.

“What happened?” he whispered.

“When I was four, I got in the middle of a fight between my mom and her boyfriend at the time.”

“It looks like it was done by a knife.”

“Yeah.”

Murderous rage raided off of Andrew. “Where is he? I’ll chop his balls off.”

Titling my chin, his gaze pinned me to the wall. There was no doubt in my mind if Andrew saw Doug on the street, he would have cut his balls off.

“He’s dead,” I said. “Hit by a truck on his motorcycle.”

“Good.”

“I don’t blame him.” When he tilted his head as if to question me, I explained. “My mom brought out the worst in people. Her favorite past time was pushing buttons until she got the reaction she sought. I don’t remember much of the fight but I do remember Doug’s remorse and my mother’s indifference.” His attention on the story, I let go of my shirt and obscured the rest of my scars.

“How can a mother act indifferent to her child getting slashed by a knife?”

It was a question I’d turned over in my head for the last nineteen years. I shrugged. “I have no idea but she is the reason I have this scar. My mom didn’t want to go to the hospital. Doug was a nurse so he patched me up the best he could.”

“I’m sorry but from what you told me, your mother sounds like a horrible person.”

Up until eight hours ago, I would have argued with Andrew, throwing out excuses for her behavior like toilet paper. Now though, Big Ted had shattered the illusion my mother loved me. Her one true love was drugs and dying was her own selfish way of getting out of the mess she created.

My voice was sucked dry of any remorse. “She was.”

With the pad of his thumb, Andrew swiped away a tear that escaped. He titled my chin up and brushed his lips against mine. While brief, it was electrifying.

Andrew’s gaze was a concoction of endearment and lust as he pulled back. “You’re mother did do one thing right.” He smiled. “She had you.”

I stared up at the ceiling, restless and unable to sleep. Andrew had generously given his bedroom to me while he slept upstairs in his office. Frustrated, my feet shoved the covers to the end of the bed. The kiss we’d shared gave me a worse caffeine jolt than coffee. I felt energized from head to toe. Also, it didn’t help matters that his room smelled like his cologne. Spicy with a hint of danger.

“Damn it,” I groaned.

Why did Andrew have to be such a gentleman? It was as if he was born in the nineteen hundreds or something. Having sex wouldn’t ruin anything between us, unless it was bad. I could say with one hundred percent certainty though—it would be the opposite of bad. His lips were just as talented as his hands. I should march up to his office and claim the orgasm I desperately needed. Flipping over on my stomach, I threw a pillow on top of my head. My two-year dry spell was turning me into a crazed lunatic. A couple beats passed as the ache at the center of my sex ebbed.

Dishware crashing sounded from the kitchen. Nerves skittered down my spine as I sprung upwards. I cocked my ear thinking I was mistaken. Another crash was heard but this time it sounded like glass shattering. My street kid instincts kicked into high gear. On the balls of my feet, I walked across the hardwood floors and cracked open the door. Andrew’s apartment was pitch black. Grabbing the nearest object, an umbrella, I ventured into the hallway. Adrenalin sent my pulse to rise. If Big Ted was in the apartment, he was in for a surprise. I raised the umbrella like a baseball bat as I neared the kitchen. Muttered curses floated in the air. The voice sounded male, although, it was hard to distinguish whom it belonged to. My money was on Big Ted because why would Andrew be burglarizing his own apartment at 3:00 a.m.?

Big Ted had showed his true colors this afternoon and they weren’t pretty. He was desperate enough to kill but armed with only an umbrella, it wouldn’t be easy to take Big Ted to the ground. Feeling my way along the last three feet, my hand groped for the light switch. Located, the kitchen was bathed in blinding white light.

I jumped from my hiding spot around the corner and swung before looking. “You can’t get me that easily, motherfucker.”

The umbrella cracked against a body part—which one I had no clue—but it connected followed by a manly scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK, HAVEN?”

Andrew’s voice snapped me out of ninja mode. Blinking, a pissed off Andrew glared at me with a red bump already forming on his forehead.

I stared at him dumbfounded. “You’re not Big Ted.”

“No, I’m not.”

Looking around, I saw the kitchen in a state of disaster. Plates lay cracked on the floor, glass littered the counters, and cupboards were wide open. “What happened?”

Andrew rubbed his forehead. “I came downstairs to grab a glass of water and forgot my glasses. I’m incredibly blind without them.”

“Can you see me?”

“Kind of. You’re a very pretty blob.”

Laughing, I set the umbrella to the side. Relief it was Andrew and not Big Ted in the kitchen dropped my adrenaline rapidly, causing my hands to shake. Big Ted had planted a seed of fear in my mind.

“Do you turn into the Hulk when you’re blind? You made a huge mess.”

“I went to go grab a glass but my elbow knocked off a plate instead. It was like a bad game of dominos.”

“So you’re just incredibly clumsy?”

A blush heated his cheeks. “Guess so.”

“Ok. I’ll grab your glasses and then we clean up.”

“Thank you. They are in the guest bathroom.”

“You got it.”

Andrew’s office was what you would describe as neat chaos. The pull out bed had his laptop and a pile of sketches piled near his pillow as if he’d fallen asleep working. Standing on the threshold, an overwhelming urge to snoop came over me. I knew it was wrong. However, I wanted to know more about the mysterious woman attached to the bath products found in the guest bathroom. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear. Swiftly, I walked to Andrew’s desk and searched the top drawers. Paper clips, highlighters and other office supplies. The bottom ones proved more interesting. Shoved toward the back sat a pile of letters and faded Polaroid pictures tied together with a string. As my hand reached to grab them, I ignored the blatant breach of trust between Andrew and me. Setting the evidence on his desk I carefully untied the string and read the first letter.

My dearest Andrew,

You are my heart, my soul, and the air I breathe. Without you I’m nothing.

Jealousy stabbed me in the gut as I realized they were love letters. Moving on to the pictures, they were just as beautiful and laced with undying affection. A woman’s red hair flowed behind her as she ran through a meadow of sunflowers. Her brown eyes locked on the person behind the camera. A secret smile titled her sensual lips. Flipping over the picture, the date and description was written.

August 12 th , 2013 – The day I proposed.

Shock stole the air from my lungs. That was a little more than a year ago. What had happened to Andrew’s fiancée? I was about to reach for another Polaroid when he called out my name.

“Haven? Did you get lost?”

Hastily, Andrew’s past was hidden away in the dusty confines of his desk drawers. “Sorry, I’m coming.”

I found his glasses and dashed down the winding staircase, my thoughts racing. Andrew didn’t have an ex-girlfriend. He had an ex-fiancée, which proved a hell of a lot more messy than expected. On top of that, what had caused the demise of their relationship? It seemed Andrew had a secret past I didn’t know about.

Andrew and I worked quietly as we transformed the kitchen back to its original state. Every few minutes, I snuck a glance at him; confounded he was once somebody’s fiancée.

He dumped the last remaining shards of glass into the trash. “I think that’s it.”

“Next time wear your glasses, will ya?”

“Pinky promise. I’m not normally that clumsy though.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

Grinning, he poured water into a teakettle and turned on the heat. Amidst the chaos, I hadn’t noticed his silk striped pajamas. All he needed was the smoking jacket and his Hugh Heffner impression would be complete.

A laugh rose out of my throat. “Where’s your blonde bimbo and pipe?”

He looked over his shoulder baffled. Gesturing to his outfit, awareness dawned but his

expression rapidly closed. “My ex gave them to me.”

The elusive ex whose ghost haunted the halls. I jumped on my chance and pried open the door Andrew cracked. “Your ex?”

“Yeah, she gave them to me for my birthday because I was always complaining about being hot at night.”

“She sounds like a thoughtful lady.”

Andrew didn’t comment. He opened the cupboards, grabbing a bag of raw sugar and a honey bear. It was a blatant attempt to appear busy.

I didn’t give up easily though. “What was her name?”

“Camilla.”

The wistfulness in his tone made me hate this Camilla with vengeance. It was such a rare emotion I was at a momentary loss. I wasn’t an envious woman. Whenever a guy and I were dating, it didn’t bother me if they had a wandering eye. They could sleep with whomever they wanted. My relationships were never serious enough to demand devotion. Andrew’s past poked the green-eyed monster to the point where I wished it didn’t exist. However without his past, Andrew wouldn’t be the person I’d fallen for. The teakettle whistled. Andrew prepared the mugs and poured the hot water inside.

“How long were you together?” I asked.

His hand knocked over the honey as if the question had fuddled him. Grabbing it before the sticky liquid marked the counters, Andrew cleared his throat. “Eight months.” He answered my next unsaid inquiry. “We broke up six months ago.”

“What happened?”

“Life. Do you want any cream or sugar in your tea?”

Andrew was undeniably done with this conversation. While I wished for further facts and details, I didn’t push. He would divulge when he was ready.

“Cream and honey. Please and thank you,” I said.

“It’s cute when your manners come out.”

He made my tea to my liking. Handing it to me, we walked into the living room together and plopped onto the couch. Like two magnets, our bodies were drawn together. Side to side, knee to knee, we cuddled. Outside, pale pink streaked the sky, welcoming a new day.

“Do you want a blanket?” Andrew covered our legs with a cashmere throw. “It can get chilly in this apartment due to the cement and exposed brick walls. I keep telling the super to caulk the windows but he doesn’t listen….”

Queen of nervous rambling, I recognized Andrew was doing exactly that. Rambling to fill in a silence that didn’t need to be filled.

I patted his knee. “Let’s drink our tea and enjoy the beautiful sunrise.”

“Oh, thank God. Most women want to talk all the time. It can be exhausting.”

“I’m not most women.”

Andrew interwove his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand affectionately. “I’m starting to realize that.”

My heart fluttered in my chest and in that moment, all I wanted to do was feel Andrew’s mouth against mine. Let him take me to a place only he could, where rainbows and unicorns did exist. Where everything was light and color. Where nothing bad could happen. Where I was safe. I set my cup down and tenderly cupped his face into my hands. His eyes sparked to life. I leaned in and Andrew met me halfway. Our lips collided in a symphony of sensations. Goosebumps erupted on my arms and I pressed my chest into his, seeking warmth. Andrew tangled his fingers into my hair, exposing my neck. Hungry kisses were planted against my skin until he reached my ear. I moaned as he nibbled my earlobe.

“Andrew,” his name was a desperate plea. “Please.”

“So beautiful.”

Our lips found each other again. The barrier that was there between us before had shattered and raw lust consumed our desires. Andrew’s fingers slid underneath my t-shirt, running a trail of fire as they traveled over my stomach. I arched into his touch.

“You feel like velvet,” he said against my mouth.

“And you taste like every dessert I’ve craved.”

A groan tore out of his throat while his tongue swirled with mine. I gripped the waistband of his pajamas, desperate to feel his thick hardness in my palm. Andrew’s hand stopped me from going further. Our breaths came out ragged as we separated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing. You’re perfect and you feel like heaven but….”

“But you don’t want to go further?”

“Yes.”

Death by blue balls was a distinct possibility right now. “You’re killing me, Andrew. Are you like a virgin or something?”

“Nope but like I said, I don’t…”

“Want to rush things? Yeah I know.”

My bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Andrew laughed, put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side. “I promise when it does happen, it will be magic.”