Текст книги "Resentment"
Автор книги: Nicole London
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 16 страниц)
Chapter 20
MIA
ERIC: Are you awake?
MIA: Barely...
ERIC: Is this your goddamn vomit on my kitchen floor? Is this from last night?
MIA: What? I don’t remember...
ERIC: [eye-roll emoji] I need for you to never drink alcohol again. At least, not while I’m gone to this conference this weekend. Can you promise me that?
MIA: It was just a one-time thing. Once. It won’t happen again.
ERIC: It better not. No parties either.
MIA: Really? :-( What about an orgy?
ERIC: Stop fucking with me, Mia. And add “orgy” to the list of words to never say to your brother.
MIA: Done deal. Have a safe trip :-)
At some point last night, I do remember stumbling into the kitchen—maybe vomiting, and then forcing myself to stand in the shower. I’m pretty sure I returned to bed naked, but when I woke up, I was wearing leggings and a cami, so I’m going to pretend like I got up randomly and did that myself. Since I have the apartment to myself this afternoon, I refuse to make any attempts to change into anything else until Monday, though.
I toss my phone onto my bed and grab a bottle of orange juice off my nightstand. I toss back a few aspirin and go into the living room.
I turn on the TV, looking for something good to watch, but I get through over 100 channels and don’t find anything.
I can’t believe there aren’t any mindless chick flicks on. That should be a crime...
Frustrated, I switch to the high definition channels, and before I can give up, I find my favorite movie’s opening scene.
I unfold the blanket at the edge of the couch and lay it over me, swooning over the movie, as if it’s my first time watching it.
Right at the part when the two leads meet for the first time, I hear someone unlocking the front door.
“Hey,” Dean says as he walks inside, but I don’t look over.
“Hey...” I turn up the volume, making it clear that we will not be talking today.
He must get the hint, because he laughs softly and I hear him walking into the kitchen. I hear him making all types of noise—getting out pots and pans, starting the blender, and opening and re-opening the fridge.
I consider muting the TV until he’s finished, but I’m fifteen minutes away from my favorite part of the movie and regardless of the fact that he helped me last night or not, I’m not going to give him the satisfaction.
The noises in the kitchen come to an end, and I smell the sweet smell of bread and soup. I still don’t turn around, though.
The next thing I hear is Dean walking behind me, down the hallway, and shutting his bathroom door. Then I hear the sound of water in the shower.
The aroma of the soup and bread infiltrates my senses with each second that passes, but I keep my attention glued to the TV.
Why is he home so early today?
Halfway through the movie, Dean comes out of the bathroom and returns to the kitchen. He makes a few more noises with pots, and the next thing I know, he’s placing two bowls of soup on the coffee table and sitting next to me.
“Temporary truce?” He asks, shirtless and letting water fall from his damp hair onto his chest.
“Temporary?”
“I’m sure within two hours we’ll hate each other again, but as a fellow human being, I’m assuming you haven’t eaten today, correct?”
I nod.
“So, a temporary truce, with soup. Just for now.”
“Fine.” I lean forward and grab one of the bowls, taking a spoon from his hand. I try my best not to look over at him again, but every so often, I find myself stealing glances. I find myself wondering if it’s really possible for him to have gotten that much sexier in ten years.
As the lead characters in the movie laugh and lean in for a kiss, I hear him letting out a deep sigh. Then he rolls his eyes.
“Since when do vampires sparkle?” he asks.
“They always have.”
“Right.” He rolls his eyes again. “I can’t take much more of this.”
“Well, good thing you don’t have to. You have your own room, and from what I recall, you have an even bigger TV.”
“How would you know?”
“I wouldn’t,” I say, blushing. “I’m just speculating.”
“I’m sure.” He sets down his bowl. “What made you dye your hair?”
“What?”
“Your hair.” He looks as if he’s going to run his fingers through my new auburn and blonde streak locks, but he holds back. “I liked it better dark brown.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to keep it this way then, especially since I’ve always lived my life for you.”
His lips curve into a smirk. “I see a lot hasn’t changed.”
“The fact that you still annoy me? No, that hasn’t changed at all.”
“You sure about that?”
“Pretty sure.”
“So, do you normally make it a habit to make-out with guys that annoy you?”
“I did not ‘make out’ with you.”
“You kissed the shit out of me,” he says. “Were you feeling horny? Sexually deprived?”
“Neither. I was drunk.”
“You weren’t that drunk.”
“I clearly was, if I kissed you at all.”
“I think you need to quit lying to yourself.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying that if I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t stop me.”
“I definitely would,” I say, my heart racing. “Don’t try it.”
“’Trying’ isn’t really my style,” he says, moving closer. “Surely you remember that.”
“I don’t remember anything about you.”
“You sure about that?” The way he’s looking at me, has my stomach in knots and I can feel a slight warmth in my cheeks.
“Yes.” I say with a little less bite. “I’m sure. And you know what else?”
I don’t get to finish what I was going to say because before the next word is out my mouth, his lips are on mine. He draws my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking it hard, and causing a small moan to escape my lips.
Within seconds, his hands are slipping around me and he’s pulling me closer, until my body is flush up against his.
Straddling his lap, I kiss him back even harder, wrapping my arms around his neck. I want to stop, need to stop, but I can’t.
My body wants this terribly, and as his hands slip under my shirt and unclasp my bra, I can feel his cock hardening beneath me. I press my hand against his chest and let him continue to control our kiss, but as I feel wetness through my leggings, I quickly pull back.
Panting, I look at him and he looks just as confused as I am. I slowly slide out of his lap and turn off the TV, and then I stand up and go to my room.
I need to stay in here for the rest of the weekend...
***
After several more cable movies and a few bad sitcoms, I put my TV on mute and turn off my lamp. As soon as I shut my eyes, I hear the sound of loud music starting outside my door.
I glance at the clock on my night stand to check the time: Three in the morning.
Rolling over, I hold a pillow over my head and wait for the music to stop, but when I roll over again, its three forty-five and it’s only getting louder. You have to be kidding me right now...He knows we’re the only two people here...
I climb out of bed and pull a sweat-shirt over my head. I walk down the hallway, past the empty living room, and into the kitchen. Coming face to face with the source of the loudness, I can only hesitate and ask myself if this is really happening.
As if it’s not almost four o’clock in the goddamn morning, Dean’s IPod dock is blaring at maximum volume, and he seems to be completely oblivious.
He’s standing with his back to me, leaning over the stove. Shirtless in sweat pants and bare feet, with a spoon hanging from his lips, he’s making pancakes. Effin pancakes.
I stand in the doorway, waiting to see if he’s going to notice me, but he doesn’t. He starts chopping fruit.
"What the hell are you doing, Dean?" I say, immediately walking over to turn the speakers down.
"Cooking breakfast." He says leaning over and turning one of the burners off. "Clearly."
"Do you have to do this at four o’clock in the morning?"
"Is there a schedule for when I'm allowed to eat what I want?" He sets down his spoon.
"No..." I say, stepping closer. "But there's a schedule for when you're not allowed to get on my nerves. Midnight to six a.m., would be nice.”
“I take it our truce is over, just that fast?”
“Yes. It is long over.”
“Is the music the real problem, or are you here for another reason?” He asks, glaring down at me.
“It’s the music.”
“Then I highly suggest that you go back to your room and find some ear plugs. I was living here first. I do this all the time.” He turns the speakers back up, even louder this time.
“You haven’t done it once since I moved in.” I’m nearly yelling now, closing the gap between us, refusing to stand down to him.
“Only because I’ve been busy.”
“Sleeping with your rotating roster of women?” I yank the cord to his IPod dock completely out of the wall. “I’m sure that’s been such hard work for you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He pushes my back against the cabinets. “And why the hell did you just do that?”
“Get your hands off of me, Dean.” I glare at him as he grips my hips. “Get your hands off. Of. Me.”
“Say it like you actually mean it and I will.”
I hesitate and his lips immediately latch onto mine and he’s crushing me with the weight of his kiss. It feels like he’s going to devour me, his kiss is so rough and aggressive. But I give it back just as hard as he’s giving it. I bite down on his lip and he pulls my hair at the base of my neck, pulling so hard it almost stings.
Only allowing me a second to catch my breath, his hands pull my shirt and cami over my head – completely exposing my breasts.
His lips trail hot kisses all over my neck as his hands start to tease my nipples. When they’re hard and erect, he sucks them into his mouth and gently bites them, one at a time.
My knees begin to feel weak as he holds me steady against the cabinets, and I have to grab onto his shoulders for support.
I pull at the string of his sweat pants and slip my hand into his briefs, letting my hand feel the length of him.
“Shit, Mia” He lets out a deep moan, but he moves my hand away.
He drops down to his knees and kisses a trail down my stomach. He pulls my shorts and panties off with one tug. His pants follow next.
Pulling me down to the floor on top of him, he positions my ass on his lap. He teases my opening with the head of his thick cock and I can feel wetness pooling between my thighs.
I position myself right over his cock and slowly lower myself down until he completely fills me.
He only allows me a second to get comfortable with his size before his hands cup my ass and start to move me in a back and forward motion.
Once we have a steady rhythm, I move his hands away and grind my ass against him hard, forcing him deeper, earning myself another series of moans.
I ride him with no hands, rubbing my swollen breast and playing with my hard nipples. I can feel the orgasm starting to build inside of me as I begin to lose all control. I meet Dean’s eyes as he watches me reach my climax. He finds his release right after me.
I lay against the cold tile, struggling to catch my breath. I wait until my heart starts beating at a normal pace to peel my eyes open. Dean’s eyes meet mine and a small smile forms on his lips. He gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before untangling our bodies and getting to his feet.
Offering me his hand, he pulls me to my feet. He gathers my clothes from the floor and to my surprise, he helps me dress. Without a word, he takes the IPod dock and puts it away in the living room. I stand there, watching him, unsure what to do next or what to say.
When he returns to me, he clasps my hand and leads me down the hallway to my bedroom.
I’m wondering if he plans to stay and join me in bed, but he doesn’t. He’s standing close, almost close enough to kiss, but we don’t. Instead, he says, “Goodnight,” before leaving and shutting my door behind him.
Chapter 21
MIA
I hate how much I enjoyed what happened between me and Dean last night. I hate how my body wanted more and how my lips wanted to feel another kiss from him.
All day, I’ve been doing my best not to think about him, but I can’t help it. Through all my tours and set-ups, the image of him kissing me has been implanted on my mind.
“Mia?” my supervisor suddenly asks, making me look up.
“Yes?”
“You’re wasting paint all over the floor.”
I look down and realize the paint bottle in my hand is empty and the color that should have gone on the announcement board is now all over the gallery’s floor.
“I am so sorry,” I say. I tilt the bottle up and grab a washcloth, but she steps in front of me.
“I think you should go home.” She looks concerned. “You haven’t been yourself at all today.”
“What? No, no, no. I’m perfectly fine.”
“Every time a guest has asked you a question today, you’ve completely zoned out.”
“No, I haven’t...”
“Would you like me to rewind some of the security footage?” She raises her eyebrow. “I’m not upset with you, Mia. You’ve been working extremely hard. I just think you need to go home for the rest of the day, and take off tomorrow, too. I’ll see you Monday.”
I don’t get a chance to respond. She’s turned away to speak to the couple who just walked in through the doors.
I go to the back and grab my purse, and then I decide to take the long way home. I need to think, and I need to make sure Dean knows that whatever the fuck that was or whatever reason it happened, it has to stop here.
***
When Dean walks through the door later that night, I’m standing in the hallway waiting.
“We need to talk,” I say.
“About?”
“The other night.”
“What about it?”
“You need to know that, that’s not going to happen again.”
He doesn’t say anything, only tilts his head to the side.
“Dean, that’s not going to happen again,” I repeat. “So, do whatever you have to do, but it’s probably best if we split up the condo. That way, you’ll stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine and this won’t be an issue.”
“What are you talking about, Mia? What’s not going to happen again?”
“Dean, you know what I’m talking about. This.” I motion between us. “This isn’t going to happen again.”
“So this?” He steps forward and puts his hand around my waist, pulling me close.
“Yes, Dean. This.”
“Okay, I’m just trying to make sure I understand.” He gently kisses my lips. “This isn’t going to happen again either, right?”
“Exactly.” My breathing slows as his hand slides under my shirt. “I’m glad you understand now.”
“I completely understand.” His mouth covers mine and he pushes me against the wall. His hands are in my hair and my hands are around his neck.
He kisses me until I can’t breathe, and then he pulls back a bit. Looking into my eyes, he takes my hand and walks me over to the couch.
Without saying a word, he sits down and pulls me into his lap so I’m straddling him. His lips connect with mine again, and his hands push my skirt up to my stomach.
I moan as he bites my bottom lip and pushes my panties to the side.
He pulls a condom out of his pocket and presses it into my hand, silently commanding me to open it and put it on him.
I oblige, slowly. It takes me a while to focus because I can’t think with the way he’s kissing me.
When I finally do place it on him, he gently lifts me up and positions my pussy over his cock. Giving me one last kiss, he holds my hips and lets my body slowly sink onto his.
I’m not sure how long we sit like that or how long I rock against him, but when we’re finally done, the sun is rising outside the window and that familiar look of “what the hell just happened” is on both of our faces.
Chapter 22
MIA
MIA: Are you awake?
AUTUMN: No. This better be an emergency.
MIA: It is an emergency.
AUTUMN: It’s not an emergency. If it was, you would have called.
MIA: I fucked Dean last night. (You were right. It wasn’t an emergency.)
AUTUMN: You did what??? (No, I was wrong! This IS an emergency. WTH?)
MIA: You read it correctly the first time...I fucked Dean last night.
AUTUMN: I know. LOL. Just making sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me.
MIA: It’s definitely not a trick.
AUTUMN: I can’t believe you did that. (Was it good? O_o )
MIA: I can’t believe it either. I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. (Hell, yes.)
AUTUMN: Details? His room? Your room? (I think I’m speechless....Truly speechless.)
MIA: Living room couch, but...
AUTUMN: But what????
MIA: That wasn’t the first time it happened. The first time was on the kitchen floor.
AUTUMN: How romantic. Am I missing the part where he apologized for the past? The part where you two discuss getting back together?
MIA: No. It was just sex. I technically still hate him.
AUTUMN: If you keep screwing him, the hate will eventually go away. Especially if it’s as good as you say.
MIA: It was good, really good. It was better than it was in high school even. If there was some way we could just not talk to each other, I would love to just keep fucking him. That’s it.
I refresh my messages, waiting for Autumn’s usual faster-than-the-speed-of-light reply, but it doesn’t come.
MIA: Hey, are you there? What do you think about what I proposed? Is it possible for me to simply sleep with someone I hate on a regular basis without any consequences?
AUTUMN: What are you talking about? The last thing I got from you was that you technically still “hate” him.
My jaw drops as another text comes through.
DEAN: The sex was definitely better than it was in high school, and there are plenty of ways that we could not talk to each other, since I would love to keep fucking you, too. (I’m assuming your previous text was supposed to go to Autumn. Tell her I said hello.)
Chapter 23
MIA
I’m trying to convince myself that sex is just a weapon. It’s something I’m doing to use against him later. It just happens to feel amazing and addicting as hell with Dean...
Ever since that night on the couch where he was inside of me for hours, we’ve been having sex every day. Every. Day.
And we don’t talk about it at all. It just happens.
When I get off work, I take my shower—just as he’s taking his, and then I go into the kitchen for a snack. I watch about five to ten minutes of a TV show before Dean sits next to me, and then, within seconds, we’re all over each other.
Although, more recently, we’ve been becoming a bit more civilized and he’s took me to his room and shut the door. Just in case Eric comes home early, but he never does.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to it all day. If I didn’t fantasize about him, making me breathless as he pleasures me for hours at a time.
I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t want to know what he was thinking about this. About us. Or if I didn’t wonder if he was going to somehow use this against me later for something, too.
Today, I try my hardest to keep thoughts of him off my mind though. I’ve already messed up two tours and if I mess up a third, I’m pretty sure Michelle is going to ask, “What happened to the girl I first hired? Bring her back. Now.”
I pull the shades to the gallery’s window and prepare for my last three tours of the day. I’m determined not to make any mistakes on these.
***
When I get off later that night (I decide to work a few hours of overtime), I notice Dean leaning against his squad car across the street.
“Are you here to give me another ticket?” I say, walking over to him. “What’s the offense this time?”
“It’s technically jay-walking.” He points to the light. “You should’ve waited to cross the street just then.
I hold out my hand. “Where’s the ticket?”
He gently pushes my hand away. “Where’s your car?”
“Three blocks up.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“No, thanks,” I say, but he opens the passenger door anyway. I consider walking away, but I decide to go with it.
He shuts the door as I climb inside, and he cranks the engine once he’s inside.
Of course, he makes a U-turn and goes in the opposite direction from the parking garage where I park my car. I don’t say anything, though. I could use an extra five minutes off of my feet.
I lean my head against the window and I can feel him looking at me, but I don’t look back at him.
When we finally do reach my car, he, shuts off the engine. Without saying a word to me, he gets out and opens my door.
“Thank you,” I say, getting out. “Are you working overtime today?”
“Unfortunately.”
My traitorous body whines at that thought.
“Well, um...” I can’t help but look into his eyes. “Thank you for the ride.”
“You said that already.”
“I’m allowed to say it again.”
“You are.” He steps to the side. “Are you going to go home?”
I nod and start to walk past him, but he grabs me by my waist and pushes me against his squad car. He pins my body to the metal with his and his lips quickly find mine.
“Dean...Dean, stop.” I say, breaking our kiss. “Shouldn’t you be going back to work?”
“I am.” His lips reconnect with mine. Keeping me pinned to the car, he continues to kiss me hard and sucks my lower lip into his mouth.
I hear voices coming over the radio through his lowered window, through the radio on his belt. As much as I don’t want him to stop, I can’t help it.
“Shouldn’t you answer that?” I pull away again. “Sounds important.”
“It’s not.” He grips my hips, but I grab his hands and move them away. “They’re all talking about dinner, Mia.”
“Still...” I manage to move away and slide against the car to the backdoor. “The past several nights have been rather interesting, but for right now, I think we should spend a little less time doing that and a little more time talking, so you won’t lose your job.”
“First of all,” he says, “I’m not going to lose my job. I’m the best cop on the force. Second of all, what exactly do we need to discuss in this particular moment?”
“I don’t know. Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes. Why are you over there and not over here?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m being serious, Dean.”
“There’s really only one thing on my mind right now, Mia, so excuse me if I don’t want to stand here with a goddamn hard-on and have a deep, thought-provoking conversation.”
“Okay, that’s my cue.” I consider walking away, but the way he’s looking at me, keeps me pinned to my spot.
“Fine.” He sighs and places his hands on the hood. “Were you and your last boyfriend serious?”
What? “What do you mean, were we serious?”
“Were you fucking him?”
My jaw drops, but I quickly recover. “We lived together. What do you think?”
“Did you love him?”
“No.” I cross my arms. “What about you? Minus the obvious sex question, which I already know is a yes, were you in love with your last serious girlfriend?”
“I haven’t had any serious girlfriends.”
“In ten years, you haven’t dated? All the girls you’re bringing around now are just gateway girlfriends?”
“I’ve definitely dated, but I haven’t had any serious or gateway girlfriends. I have yet to find anyone that compares to my last one.”
This is a trap...This is a trap...
“Well,” I say. “I’m sorry that I can’t say the same. You’ll find someone comparable one day. I did.”
“Your ex is someone who compares to me?”
“In certain aspects, yes. Very much so.”
“What aspects?”
“It doesn’t matter. We broke up. Oh, wait. The two of you are definitely comparable in that aspect.’
“What aspects, Mia?” He looks angry and offended.
“It. Doesn’t. Matter.” I need to get away from him. “The past is the past. There’s another similar aspect. What a coincidence!”
“I’m going to ask you one last time, Mia...” He takes his hands off the hood and walks closer to me. “You honestly think he compared to me?” There’s a hint of hurt in his eyes this time.
“Can we just drop this? Can we change the subject or can I just go home?”
“No.” He pushes my body to the side and opens the back door. “Get in.”
“What?”
“Get in the damn car, Mia.”
“I’m not getting in the back of your squad car.”
He smiles at me before grabbing my arm and literally shoving me into his back seat, him following behind me before closing the door.
“When an officer gives you a command,” he says pushing my back down against the seat, “you follow it. Do you understand?” He raises his brow.
“Yes.” I whisper, my heart rate starting to rise.
His lips find mine again and this time our kiss is hot and rough. He settles his body between my legs, his uniform and equipment scraping against the seat
He grabs the hair at the nape of my neck with one hand and roughly tugs, exposing my neck to his mouth. Sucking and kissing.
When his lips find mine again, I bite down hard on his bottom lip, payment for the rough pull of my hair. He smiles in return.
His hands tug at the hem of my shirt before pulling it over my head. As he unzips my jeans, I unclasp my bra, allowing it to slide to the floor.
He pulls my jeans down my legs and I have to lift my butt up to help him get them off.
His mouth goes to my breast, taking them into his mouth, sucking hard. I don’t even worry about someone walking past and seeing us, the windows are so steamed up, that I’m certain no one can see us.
Dean starts to trail feather-like kisses down my chest, going lower and lower, setting my skin on fire.
“So, those aspects,” he says kissing right below my belly button. “Were they fucking aspects?”
“What?” I ask panting.
“Are you saying someone fucked you better than I did?”
Oh, my God, is he really asking me this right now?
“Dean.”
“Maybe you need help figuring it out.” His lips kiss me on top of my panties, driving my mind insane.
He grabs both my legs and hoist them up, I have to grab onto the back of the seat to hold myself steady. With my legs spread wide, he rests each one over his shoulders before returning his mouth to the spot right below my belly button.
With his eyes locking on mine, he slowly inches his way down, almost at that sweet spot between my legs.
When his mouth finally kisses my pussy through the thin fabric of my panties, my head falls back with my eyes closed. Dean pushes my panties to the side with one hand and pushes two fingers inside with the other hand. The entire time this is happening, his mouth is assaulting my pussy in the best possible way.
I feel myself about to come, my legs begin to shake, my toes start to curl and I dig my hands into his hair, yanking hard. Right as I’m about to find my release, Dean sits up, letting my legs fall away.
I whimper in response.
“Turn around.” He says in, literally, the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard.
I sit up and turn over on my stomach as Dean releases his belt and unzips his pants. He grabs my panties, sliding them down my legs before he grabs my waist, pulling my butt into the air, flush against his cock. He enters me from behind, rough and fast.
“Did your ex-boyfriend fuck you like this?”
“No.” I moan.
“I know he didn’t,” he says before his hips begin to move, long thrusts back and forth. He pulls me back against him in perfect rhythm to his thrusts.
My legs shake, about to give out from the intensity of it all.
I can feel an orgasm building, every muscle in my body tightening.
“I want to feel you come on my cock.” My body shudders as an intense orgasm rocks through me.
Moments later, Dean lets out a deep moan and then he slowly stills behind me, digging his nails into my skin. I collapse beneath him, no longer able to hold on. Still buried deep inside of me, he trails soft kisses up and down my back. When I finally catch my breath, he slowly pulls out of me. He helps me onto the seat, briefly kissing my lips as he helps me dress.
Shortly after our tryst in his car, a new routine develops.
During the day, we act cordial, but keep a distance between ourselves, especially whenever Eric is around. But at night, it’s an entirely different story. We’ll steal moments together to kiss and make out, sometimes in the hallway when passing, in the kitchen while Eric takes a late night shower and even going as far as me slipping into Dean’s bed when we are both sure that Eric is sleeping.
It slowly becomes the highlight of my day, those stolen moments with Dean. I start looking forward to seeing him, reminiscing on the secret glances, on those heated kisses.
But I keep my heart safe. I don’t let myself think about any possibilities for ‘us’ after sex.
It’s just sex.
