Текст книги "Torn"

Автор книги: Monica Murphy

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

“Stop looking like you want to kill Archer.” Reaching out, she grabs my hands, clasping them tightly in her own. “This is a good thing. We’re going to have a baby.” She sniffs, the tears streaming down her cheeks freely now. “I’m so ha-happy.”

“You don’t look or sound happy to me. Jesus, Ive, you’re not even married yet! Mom’s gonna have a cow.”

Ivy burst out laughing, looking like a hysterical mess. Mascara-streaked tears line her face as she laughs. “You sound just like you did when we were kids.”

“Well, it’s true. She’s going to flip. She’s been working on your wedding for months.” Years, probably, not that I’m going to say it. Our mom’s been living for this moment and now Ivy’s going to waddle down the aisle with a big ol’ belly?

Yeah. That’ll go over real well.

“We’re bumping the wedding date up a few months. Mom already knows. So does Dad,” she says.

“And Archer?”

Ivy rolls her eyes. “Of course, he knows. What, you think I’d leave the father of my baby as the last to know? I don’t think so.”

“No, you leave that honor to the uncle of your baby.” I smooth her hair out of her eyes, feeling overprotective of my baby sister . . . who’s going to have a baby. Holy hell, this is crazy.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk, and you’ve been so busy.” She grabs hold of my arm, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t tell Marina. I want to tell her, but I couldn’t tell her if you didn’t know.”

I hug her again because I can’t resist, kissing her forehead. “I’m so happy for you, Ive. Even happy for that bastard you’re going to marry. I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

“I do.” She smiles as she withdraws from my embrace. “No regrets. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

I hope someday I can make Marina half as happy as Archer makes my sister.

I LEFT ARCHER and Ivy’s house to head back to St. Helena and the bakery. I’ve been planning this surprise for Marina for weeks, in the midst of taking over the properties her family sold to me. I kept that from her too, despite Archer’s incessant nagging that I was making a huge mistake.

But it wasn’t because I’m trying to hurt her or close down the bakery without her knowledge. This is my gift to her, ensuring the bakery stays within her family, where it belongs. I’ve already started the process and the paperwork’s being drawn up. I plan on eventually handing over the deed for the bakery to her.

Now I gotta figure out how to make this surprise announcement to her without freaking her completely out. I can’t make too big of a deal about it. I need to tell Gina too. Ivy’s in on it because she can’t wait to help redesign the interior, her services free of charge, a gift to both me and Marina.

Marina’s going to love it. So is Gina. Archer, not so much, because he’s trying to steal Gina away from Marina every chance he can get.

Such a greedy jackass, though I can relate.

I enter the bakery, the familiar, delicious scent of bread baking hitting my senses, making my stomach rumble despite not really being hungry. I wave to Eli at the counter and head into the kitchen where I find Gina shedding her apron and hanging it on a wall hook.

“Well, well, look who the cat dragged in.” She tsks and shakes her head. “How you doing, Pretty Boy?”

Thank God I’ve been upgraded from Boy Toy. She still calls Archer Rat Boy, which he deserves. “I’m great. Where’s Marina?”

“Not in. She went home earlier, said she didn’t feel well.”

I frown. She never let me know. “Is she all right?” I’m extra sensitive, I guess, because of my sister’s major announcement, and I wonder: What would that be like, being with Marina? Getting her pregnant, watching her body shift and change, her belly full of my baby?

That strange ache seems to strangle my heart again, and I rub at my chest absently, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

You’re in love, you idiot. You’d do anything for that woman constantly in your thoughts.

“I’ll call her,” I say, watching as Gina gathers her purse from the closet she keeps it in and her sweater. “Mind if I go hang out in her office for a bit so I can call her in there?” I’m going to grab a few old brochures I know she keeps stashed in her bookshelf and give them to a marketing specialist I’ve worked with in the past. I plan on having some new materials created, along with a new logo.

Oh yeah, I have lots of plans. And all of them are going to blow Marina’s mind. Make her love me that much more.

I wander into her office, searching her tiny bookshelf, plucking first one, then a few other old advertising pieces I can find. Two brochures, a couple of postcards, all of it’s good to show the graphic designer.

Sitting behind her desk, I call her on my cell but get no answer. Send her a text asking if she’s feeling okay, but again, no reply. Grabbing the brochures, I stack them neatly atop the desk, the edge of the cardstock nudging her mouse, and her monitor lights up, the security business site I know she uses at the bakery coming up on screen.

Squinting, I look at the black and white, slightly fuzzy image, noticing that it’s a man, bent over . . . a woman? I see that the image is paused; this is actual footage taken within the bakery, and when I hit play, it all becomes too clear what I’m looking at.

That’s me. And Marina. Having sex in the kitchen that first night we attacked each other.

I run a hand through my hair, glancing around like someone’s going to walk up on me at any minute and discover what I’m looking at. I’m completely blown away. I can’t believe Marina’s kept this on her computer for . . . what? Her viewing pleasure? It happened over a month ago. We’ve had plenty of sex since then. Better sex, infinitely more satisfying sex. Every time we come together, it’s better and better between us. We’re lucky.

And now I’m . . . shocked, seeing us on her computer screen, me pounding inside of her, her head thrown back, her long legs wound tight around me as she clutches my shoulders with her hands. There’s no sound, but I don’t need to hear it to remember. She’s panting hot, encouraging words, and I’m sliding so deep inside her I groan her name, ready to give in to the urge and let my orgasm take over.

Damn. It’s sort of hot, seeing us together like this. Maybe I can understand why she kept it, but still. She should’ve let me see this. At the very least told me about it. I hit pause, catching her at a particularly good angle. The expression on her face tells me she’s pretty damn close to orgasm.

I really like seeing that expression on her face, but live and in person. Not on a video I happen to discover hidden away on her computer. Why would she keep it? Was she hoping to somehow use it against me if I did her wrong? I’ve gone out with vindictive women before. Women out to get me before I got them, always on the defense when I never thought that way in the first place.

“What are you doing?”

I glance up to find Marina standing just inside her office, her eyes bloodshot, her expression tight. She looks terrible.

So, so sad.

Pushing away from her desk, I go to her, but she dodges me at the last minute. “What happened? Are you okay?” I ask, worry consuming me. She’s acting odd. “Gina said you went home because you weren’t feeling well.”

“I’m fine. Really.” She runs a hand over her head, messing up her hair rather than fixing it. She’s looking at me like she doesn’t quite know what to do with me. “I had a headache. So I went home. Had an interesting conversation with my mother too. Let me tell you, it didn’t help with my headache whatsoever. I’d say after her news, it’s even worse. I had to get out of there, so I came back here.”

My heart skips over itself. Shit. “What did you two talk about?” I ask, afraid to hear her answer.

“Oh, you know. She’s worried I’m going to die a bitter, single, jobless old woman.” One delicate brow rises and I know exactly what she’s referring to.

Double shit. This is not the way I wanted her to find out.

“Marina,” I start, and she holds up her hand, silencing me.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” she says quietly, her expression flat, her eyes dim. “Tell me the truth. When were you going to let me know huh, Gage? When?”

She knows. I’d asked her father to keep it a secret so I could tell her she’s not losing the bakery and I withheld the information too long. Now she’s pissed. “It’s not what you think—” I start, but she cuts me off.

“Then what am I supposed to think? I don’t understand how you can keep something so incredibly important from me. Who are you? Why would you do this? The bakery closing changes everything, my entire life! I’ll have nothing. No job, no nothing. All because of you.” She rushes toward me, shoving at my chest so hard I take a step back, shocked at the force behind her push. “You’re evil.”

Wait. Her dad didn’t tell her about the bakery. This is even worse. She thinks I’m trying to shut her down. “Marina—”

“Shut up. You’re a liar. Withholding information is just as bad as lying. I can’t believe you would do this to me. I thought you lo . . .” She clamps her lips shut, closing her eyes and slowly shaking her head.

“Let me explain myself. It’s not what you think,” I start, but she opens her eyes and glares at me.

“Don’t bother trying to explain, Gage. You got what you wanted. I knew you wanted to buy those buildings from the start, so I don’t know why I’m so surprised or hurt. I guess I got too caught up.”

Damn it. She’s not even listening to me. “What about your secret?” I toss out, my voice flat.

Her eyes widen, tears sparkling in them. Damn it, just the sight of them makes my chest ache. “What secret?”

I fold my arms across my chest, leaning against the edge of her desk. If she won’t even listen to me, then I need to get the truth out of her regarding the security tape. It’s weird that she never mentioned it. “I think you might know what I’m talking about.”

Chapter Fourteen

Marina

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY no idea what he’s talking about. I’m not the secret-keeper in this relationship. He is.

And boy is his secret a doozy, one that’s going to change my life forever.

He acts like it’s no big deal.

“Stop playing games,” I murmur, letting my anger fuel me. He’s propped against my desk, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his biceps straining against his long-sleeved shirt, but I ignore the way my body responds to his. He always makes me feel this way. Hungry, desperate, needy. All for him.

I’m too mad. Angry sex with Gage is amazing—we’ve indulged a few times because we’re sort of sick and twisted like that—but not like this. Not with this sort of horrible betrayal.

He’s taken it too far.

“I saw what you keep on your computer.” He waves his hand toward the monitor. “I had no idea we made a porn video, Marina. Wish you would’ve told me. Do you plan on selling it now that you know what a jerk I really am? Distributing it online so it can make the rounds? Maybe earn a few million hits on YouTube?”

Gasping, I round the desk, staring at the screen where the video is paused. There we are in black and white. I can see my naked legs wrapped around him, his body hovering over mine, my arms around his neck. I minimize the screen, glancing up to find him studying me, his expression downright deadly.

“Why do you have that on your computer?” he asks, his voice scary quiet. “It makes no sense for you to keep it this long. Unless you did it on purpose so you could use it against me.”

I’m in complete shock. Does he really think that low of me? What sort of women did he date in his past? “I . . . the morning after the encounter in the kitchen, kids smashed the pumpkins we had around the front door.” I’m going to tell him the entire story, even if it kills me. “So I checked the videos from the night before and saw the kids but couldn’t identify them.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, probably wondering why I’m telling him all this.

But there is a point to my story. “Then I clicked through, checking out all the cameras we have and I saw this. Us.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deep, searching for strength. I can’t believe I’m the one who has to explain myself when he’s the one who kept the worst secret ever. I open my eyes and continue. “I—liked watching it. I was so confused after what happened between us. How could I hate someone and want him, all at the same time? You drove me crazy. Keeping this video was my way of . . . holding on to something that has sentimental value, you know?”

“A video of us fucking in your kitchen has sentimental value?” He laughs and shakes his head. “That’s just great.”

“I refuse to let you make me feel guilty. I had it up on my computer because I was going to delete it.” I don’t know why I held onto it so long. Earlier I’d brought it back up, ready to delete when my mom called. I pushed away from my computer, talked to her a bit, felt the headache come on, and then left, forgetting all about it. “I realized it probably wasn’t smart, having a video of us. What if it fell into the wrong hands?”

“No shit. Not one of your most brilliant moves, Marina.” He snorts, shaking his head.

Ah, there’s the old Gage. The one I want to slap across the face for saying such shitty, hurtful things. I stand, slapping my hands against the edge of the desk. “Don’t try and make this all about what I’ve done to you. It’s minor compared to what you’ve done and you know it. You’re the one who bought out my dad and Molina Corp. Why didn’t you tell me? How long were you going to wait? I deserved to know, Gage.”

He glares at me, his green eyes cold. Hard. “You really think I would purposely keep this from you so I could hurt you, Marina? After everything we’ve gone through, everything we’ve experienced this last month? You don’t know me at all, do you?”

I shrug, trying to blow it off. I have no idea what’s real and what’s not anymore. I don’t care how gutted he sounds. As hard as it is for me to realize, I don’t think I can trust him. “I don’t know. It’s only been a month. What could I expect from you?”

It’s Gage’s turn to rush me, coming round the desk so he’s standing in front of me, his hands clasping my upper arms, shaking me as if he can knock some sense into me. “I’m in love with you, damn it. I wanted to show you how I felt by giving you the goddamn deed to this place. I was going to give it to you as a surprise and Ivy was going to redecorate the café. I was putting together an advertising plan and everything. Anything you wanted for this place, I would’ve given you.”

I gape at him, shock rendering me completely still. He was going to give me the deed? As a gift? And have his sister redecorate the café? I can’t . . . oh my God. I’m such a jerk. “Why didn’t you tell me though? You should’ve. My mom took great pleasure in being the first one to deliver the news.”

I’m still so angry at him. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same way about him again. His words alone nearly destroyed me.

Now that I know he planned all of this? I don’t know what to think. What to do.

How to react.

“Yeah, I know. I fucked up. Archer said I should tell you. So did Ivy. But I wanted it to be a surprise. It was a risky move, and look. I really ruined it now.” He laughs, sounding borderline hysterical, and I want to go to him. Comfort him. Tell him everything’s going to be okay.

But I can’t. It still feels like a betrayal, just like me keeping the video of our first sexual encounter feels like a betrayal to him.

Now he talks about his plans in the past tense. Like I ruined my chances to be with him. Work with him.

Love him.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you.” It’s not a question. He sounds so defeated, my heart is breaking for him. For me. My anger is slowly evaporating, turning more on my mother, which I know is pointless. She’s my mom. I won’t be angry with her forever.

Gage hangs his head, closing his eyes as he breathes deep. “I’m so sorry, Marina. I shouldn’t have done it like this. I made a mistake. I know you can’t trust me, but now I’m starting to wonder if I can’t trust you either.”

“Do you mean because of the video?” I ask him, my voice barely above a whisper. I can’t believe it. He’s that mad about the video?

“Yeah.” He nods, opening his eyes to stare at me. “You should’ve told me.”

“Right back at you,” I automatically say.

We stand in front of each other, the both of us silent, as if we’re waiting for the other to say something. Anything.

But neither of us do.

Finally he turns and leaves without another word. Just strides out of my office like I never existed and walks right out of my life.

Only after he’s gone do I collapse into my chair, resting my head on my desk as I sob into the pile of overdue invoices that still haunt me.

Gage

“YOU’RE STILL GOING through with it.” Archer sounds incredulous.

“I am,” I mutter, watching the company I hired repaint the café walls. “She’s given up on this place, but I won’t.”

Two weeks after our big blowup, she hung the closed sign in the door and shut down Autumn Harvest for good. I was stunned. Marina’s no quitter. I have no idea what’s come over her, and since she refuses to see me, I guess I’ll never find out.

Luckily enough she still talks to Ivy, who keeps me fully informed. She says Marina’s considering going back to school so she can get her master’s degree. But this time, she’d like to travel elsewhere. Maybe go to an East Coast school. Start over with a fresh new life. I know what she’s really referring to. She’d rather start over.

Without me.

I’ve taken over the business completely. Hell, I own it, so I can do whatever I want to it, right? I had new appliances installed, including a new oven, and I consulted Gina as to which I should purchase.

When I got off the phone with her, she called me Smart Boy—and in the same breath, a total dumbass. I’d reached both the pinnacle of approval and the absolute bottom of disappointment, all at once with Aunt Gina.

“It’s going to look pretty damn amazing,” Archer says, glancing around the room, which is still under a massive construction overhaul. “Ivy’s been keeping me posted.”

“How’s she feeling?” We’re both a pair of overprotective males watching out for her and I know she hates it. Yet she likes it too, all at the same time.

“Feeling a little better, not so queasy. The morning sickness is what’s taking her down so hard. Plus she’s so tired.”

“I know. She tried to get me to let her come for this, but I told her no way. I didn’t want her inhaling the fumes,” I say.

“Good call.” Archer exhales loudly before he turns to me. “Have you spoken to her?”

“Who? Ivy?”

“No, jackass. Marina. When was the last time you talked to her?”

“Not since we split.” I shrug, acting like it’s no big deal, but not having her as a part of my life feels like I’m missing a piece of me.

I fucking hate it.

“Seriously? And I thought I was stubborn.” He shakes his head, looking ready to launch into a big ol’ speech, and I brace myself. “Look, you need to go to her and tell her you’re sorry. Ivy goes and sees her all the time and she says she’s miserable.”

“She never tells me that. Ivy acts like Marina’s just fine.”

“Yeah well, I think she’s trying to spare your feelings or worry or whatever. She’s not fine. She’s a wreck and plans on leaving to go to college across the country so she can escape her mother. She misses you. Not that you’re supposed to know that.” Archer points at me.

I keep my expression blank. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Good answer. I just . . . I can’t stand to see the two of you suffer. I know she did wrong and you did wrong.” I never told him exactly what happened, only that Marina kept something very important from me as well. The both of us weren’t perfect in this situation. I probably overreacted, but I’ve been with some bat-shit-crazy women in the past who would’ve probably used a sex tape against me to get whatever they wanted.

Meaning I’ve dated some pretty awful women, women who weren’t worthy of cleaning Marina’s toilet, let alone be in the same league as her.

“You can’t keep this up,” Archer continues when I don’t say anything. “It’s killing you both. You’re a wreck without her. Throwing yourself into your work, fixing up her bakery as some sort of homage to her? I mean, what the hell are you doing?”

“I want to do this. For her, whether she appreciates it or not.”

“Right,” Archer deadpans. “You’re crazy.”

Slowly I nod, knowing I sound crazy, but I’m not changing my mind. “This bakery belongs to Marina. It’s hers, no questions. And if she doesn’t want it, then I fully plan on giving it to Gina. This place needs to stay in the Molina and Knight family. It belongs with them.”

A smile spreads across Archer’s face. “You do have a heart, don’t you?”

“Shut up.” I shove at his shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want it getting out.”

I miss her. My body, my mind, my heart, they all ache without Marina in my life. I refuse to go to her though. Not until I have something to show her. Something that will prove my love to her and let her know without a doubt that I will do anything, and I mean anything for her.

Like revamp her business. From the kitchen to the front end of the store, to the new computer and ordering systems that are going to be installed within the next few days, everything’s state of the art. Top notch.

My girl deserves the absolute best.

“You’re also a sap. You still plan on presenting the bakery to her, right?”

“As long as Ivy’s still bringing Marina to the grand reopening, then yeah. I’m doing it.” No one can say I didn’t go for it with this, now can they?

“She is. Ivy told me. Marina’s thrilled that Ivy’s pregnant,” Archer informs me.

“I bet,” I murmur, not sure what to think. Why does he tell me stuff like this? Only makes me miss her more.

And damn, do I miss her. It’s only been a few weeks but it feels like years. I miss her voice, her smile, the way she yells at me when I make her angry. The whispery little moans that escape her when I make her come. I miss her scent, the way she likes to cook my dinner, how she snuggles up against my back when we sleep together.

I miss everything about her. I want her back in my life.

Within the next two weeks, I’m hoping like crazy I can make it that happen.

Once and for all.