Текст книги "Stealing Harper"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

She looked at me for what felt like hours before speaking, her voice rough and scratchy from crying. “Why are you in here?”

Where else would I be? My whole world was crashing down, and I was trying to hold on to it for as long as possible. “Because you need me, and if this is my last hour with you, I’m not going to waste another second of it.”

I bent to touch my lips softly to hers and was met with a hungry kiss that quickly escalated. I hadn’t taken the time to get out of my jeans when I got in there, and they were soaked, but we furiously worked at getting them off, all the while bringing our mouths back to each other’s and pressing our bodies closer. The hot water pelted down on us as I pushed Harper against one of the shower walls, the steam so heavy in the bathroom that there was nothing but my princess and me. Slowing down so I wouldn’t ruin, or ever forget this, I pulled away to look at her. Her bottom lip was trembling, the tears still falling from her passion-filled eyes as she watched me memorize every bit of her. I cupped her cheeks, wiping away tears and water from the shower before sucking on her bottom lip and taking her mouth with mine.

Her hands went up my chest, around my neck, and into my hair as I used the wall for leverage in lifting her up, wrapping her legs around me, and positioning myself at her entrance. I groaned, and a muffled cry left her when I pushed in and began to slowly make love to her for what I prayed wasn’t the last time but had a sinking feeling would be. Like I’d told her, if this was my last hour with her, my last time with her . . . there was no way I’d waste a moment of it. She climaxed, gripping the tensing muscles in my back and shoulders seconds before I followed. Not willing to end the moment, I just stood there with her in my arms, our foreheads pressed together, eyes locked on each other, and I hoped she understood that I was hers, completely and undeniably, forever. That if I had all of this to do all over again, I would change everything. And that in any life, in any situation, I’d choose her. Every time.

An hour and a half later we were sitting in my truck, outside my house, and I was gripping Harper’s hand like a lifeline. We hadn’t said a word since I’d told her why I was in the shower, but there wasn’t anything to say that we hadn’t been showing each other—that I loved her, and always would. And I had no doubt she loved me, too. It had been there in her eyes; but so had that look like someone had just crushed her heart, and I was terrified that her love for me wouldn’t be enough to keep her with me. But now, I knew I had to let her go for however long she needed to make a decision that could potentially change everything.

All too soon, she reached into her purse and grabbed the keys to Brandon’s Jeep, so she could go pick him up from the airport.

When she grabbed for the door handle, I said, quietly, “Harper, I will love you for the rest of my life.”

She sucked in a quick breath but didn’t turn to look at me, and before she hopped out of my truck and away from me, she whispered softly, “You will always be in my heart, Chase Grayson.”

I felt like I was dying as I watched her start up his Jeep and leave me sitting there. I tried to tell myself that we would figure this out, and she would come back to me. But as I turned my truck back on and headed toward the beach, I found it harder and harder to convince myself that she would be mine; and after an hour on the beach, I ended up talking myself into begging her to choose me instead.

Brandon’s Jeep was outside my house by the time I’d come back, as was most everyone’s, and after hearing Princess’s voice coming from the kitchen, I headed toward her and the smell of Chinese food, fully intent on pulling her to my room and showing her why she should be with me instead. I rounded the corner into the living room and saw Brandon and Harper, Harper in nothing but one of his shirts, laughing and flirting with Brandon.

My footsteps faltered, but I couldn’t make myself stop anymore; it hadn’t even been three hours since I’d been making love to her up against my shower wall, and she was wearing nothing but his shirt? Harper’s laugh instantly cut off when she saw me, and I watched as her jaw dropped, and her eyes got wide. They flashed quickly to Brandon, then back to me, and that was all I needed to know. Apparently, she hadn’t needed a few weeks, just a few hours. Brandon nodded at me, and with a hard nod back, I forced myself to my room and away from them so I could grab my board, sketchpads, and as much of my other shit as possible, so I could avoid seeing them like that again.

So I could avoid seeing them—period.

Chapter Nine

“CHASE, HONEY?”

I closed my sketchbook and sighed. “Yeah, Mom?” I swear if she brought up—

“Sweetheart, we really should talk about whatever is going on.”

Yep . . . she was bringing it up again.

“You’re not even mostly living out of our house, you’re living here. Granted we don’t see you much since usually you’re surfing when we get up, then at the shop at night, but I’m not that dumb. You’re living here.”

“You’re not dumb at all, Mom.”

She set two mugs of coffee down on the table and sat next to me. “I was hoping you’d say that!” She laughed and pushed on my shoulder, but her laugh died when I continued to sit there with my arms crossed over my chest, “Okay, well since I seem to be awesome enough to be graced with your presence today”—I snorted when she rolled her eyes—“I’m gonna make you sit here and talk to me.”

“You’re gonna make me,” I deadpanned, and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t push me, Chase Austin Grayson. In all seriousness, your father and I are so worried about you. I was less worried when you were at your own home, but with you here and seeing how you’re pushing yourself—”

“Shouldn’t you be the one telling me that I need to push myself?”

“Not the way you have been! With the exception of three days, including today, over the last few weeks, you get up at dawn to go surfing, come home only to shower and change, then go to classes. Then you go straight to the shop, and you’re home after your dad and I are already asleep! And throughout all of this, you’ve just . . . lost you. The few times I have seen you, you look dead. You disappear completely on family days; Bree said she hasn’t even seen you in weeks and that Brad, Brandon, and the rest of the guys are really getting worried about you because you don’t talk to them or surf with them anymore . . . ? Chase, what is happening with you?”

I made a mental note to tell Bree to shut the hell up. “Mom, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve just been busy.”

“I call bullshit,” Dad said as he joined the conversation, looking like he was about to leave for work.

“Morning to you, too, Dad.”

“And you can drop the attitude, too. She said we’re worried about you, and we are. You’re an adult, you have your own house; so trust me when I say I have no problem telling you that I love you, but if you don’t tell us what’s going on and start respecting us, you can move right back out and into your house.”

Ishe serious? I just sat there staring at both of them for a few minutes before deciding that he was and sighing heavily. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”

“Okay?” Dad drew out the word. Obviously, he wasn’t getting it.

“No, I mean moving moving. Like, moving away from San Diego.”

Mom gasped. “What?”

“After graduation.”

“Why?” Mom’s eyes were filling with tears, and Dad’s eyebrows were scrunched together.

“It’s just something I need to do.” I shrugged. “Something I want to do.”

“Why would you need to move away?” She started to cry, and I unfolded my arms, reached across, and grabbed her hand.

“Mom, it’s fine. It won’t be forever. I ju—” I broke off quickly and sat back.

“Son.”

I looked back to my dad and sighed “I can’t be around Harper and Brandon. I can’t be around her at all while she’s with him. It’s just too hard. And she’s pretty much a part of this family, and I can’t handle that right now. I’m in love with a girl who will never want me, so for now, I need to go.”

“But how long will be enough for you to be okay with it? What if they stay together? You can’t stay away forever!” Mom was on the verge of hysterics.

“I don’t know.” I looked up to my dad for help, but he was just shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t even know if I will move. It was just a thought. Mom, seriously, please don’t cry.”

“Just a thought?” She wiped under her eyes and let her hands fall to the table. “Chase, you’re already cutting ties with everyone. This isn’t a thought, you’re already beginning to execute this childish plan of yours!” The chair legs scraped across the tile as she scooted away from the table.

“Ma.”

She swatted my hand away when I reached for her and took off through the living room and up the stairs.

“If you want to be with Harper so bad that you can’t stand to be in the same city as her and her boyfriend,” Dad said, “then you need to fight for her. Not run from her.” He grabbed his briefcase off the table and caught my stare. “Whether she’s dating your best friend or not, she’s close with you, and it would hurt her to have you leave regardless.”

“I really doubt that.”

“So you’re going to punish your mother, me, your sister, and Harper by leaving because you won’t man up and fight for what you want? That’s not how we raised you, Chase.” And with that, he walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.

“Kinda pointless to fight for what you want when what you want continues to break your heart,” I whispered to the empty kitchen.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed away from the table and called Bree as I made my way to my truck.

“WELL WHAT DID you expect me to say? Everyone’s worried about you, and you don’t show up to family day anymore. You’re making Mom sad!”

“Nothing. You say nothing, Breanna. I have my own reasons for doing what I’m doing, and I really don’t need you going to Mom and telling her everything you see or don’t see here, and I sure as shit don’t need you telling her what the guys are saying about me.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and she sucked in a deep breath, but before she could throw her attitude back at me, all the air came whooshing out of her body, and she bit down on her bottom lip, which had started to tremble. Damn it.

“Bree,” I said softly, and rested my forearms on the kitchen table she was sitting at so I was eye level and closer to her.

“You’re my big brother, and I’m worried about you.” She took a shaky breath in, and her eyes glassed over when she looked up at me. “I’m afraid you’re getting into bad things with the way you’ve been acting. Your temper is through the roof, and your mood swings are epic lately. And that’s when we see you. Most the time, you’re gone. I’m worried about what you might be doing . . .” she trailed off.

“Hey.” I kissed the top of her head and hugged her hard before going back to resting on my forearms. “I’m not getting into anything bad, I swear. Nothing illegal, nothing Mom and Dad would be pissed about. I’m just having a hard time dealing with stuff, and I seem to be taking it out on everyone.”

“Well, what are you dealing with?”

I shook my head, “Nothin’ you need to worry about. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll try to be around more—come to family days and shit.”

“ ‘And shit.’ Nice.” She snorted and blinked back the rest of her tears. “All right. If you say there’s nothing going on, then there’s nothing going on. And I’ll try to keep my mouth shut about you around Mom and Dad.”

“I’d appreciate it. Love you, brat.”

Her smile got wide. “Love you too, punk.”

Just then, all the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end, and I wished I had gotten out of there sooner, or that Bree would have been at her dorm rather than my house. I straightened from leaning on the table and tried not to react when I heard her voice.

“Uh, good morning.” Harper said softly.

Bree’s smile got even bigger as she leaned over in the chair to look past me. “Morning, doll! How’d you sleep?”

I didn’t want to see her, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over my shoulder quickly before looking back at Bree.

“Pretty well,” Harper responded. “You?”

“Excellent.” Bree sounded like she was in a daze, and it didn’t take a genius to know why.

“Ugh, seriously Bree? Save it until I’m gone at least.” I wasn’t dumb, I knew my little sister wasn’t a virgin, but I didn’t want to know about it.

Without another glance at my princess, I took off for the master bedroom and slapped my hand against the door a few times before Brad opened it. His eyes narrowed, and he straightened so we were almost eye to eye, and instantly I knew what he was doing, and my body automatically tensed in preparation. Brad and I had met while working out and training at the same gym, McGowan’s, right after freshman year started at San Diego State University. We were always thrown into the ring together to spar since we were almost identical in height and weight, and had been friends ever since. We’d fought a little here and there in what they called “The Underground” in Southern California. Not exactly legal, great pay, and kept quiet so law enforcement wouldn’t find out. We’d also met Brandon through McGowan’s once he moved here, and had all formed what Bree likes to call a bro-mance through fighting and surfing. I knew I could never actually win a fight against Brandon—the asshole was unstoppable in the ring—and, let’s face it, he’s fuckin’ huge. Only two inches taller, but he’s got forty pounds of muscle on me. So I never expected to win a fight against Brandon, but that’s not why I started them. I just wanted an opportunity to punch the guy I’d come to love like a brother since he was with the girl that had quickly become my everything to me. Brad, though . . . I knew that Brad and I came out pretty even when it came to fighting. We’d been thrown in the ring enough times, never knowing who’d win, and at that moment he was ready to beat the shit outta me from the look of him. But I was done fighting.

I forced my body to relax but noticed Brad’s hands had clenched into fists, and he was still glaring.

“Shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” I shrugged.

“Brandon doesn’t deserve your bullshit, either.”

“I know; he’s not the one I’m mad at.”

Brad’s eyes went wide, and his fists unclenched as he stepped away from the door. He sat on the couch he’d put in his room, and I sat on a chair he had pulled up in front of the TV for gaming. “It’s been nice to not have any fights between the two of you, but your disappearing wasn’t what anyone wanted either.”

I nodded. “Finding it harder and harder to be near them, she’s all I think about anymore. But I know I’m the one who fucked up. I should’ve never pushed her away.”

“I don’t get you, man. You change your life for her, ruin your friendships for her . . . then you disappear for a few weeks, and now you’re just giving up; but you’re still in love with her?” Before I could respond, he shifted forward in the couch, and his voice got low. “Did you see her that weekend?”

My eyes snapped up to meet his, and my mouth fell open, but nothing came out.

“Look, I didn’t want to tell you she was staying because I knew you were going to be running by your parents’ house. That probably makes me just as much of an asshole to Brandon as you’ve been, but you and Harper needed to work this out. And with the depressing bullshit you’d been pulling, I knew you would have stayed away from her. So, did. You. See her?”

We continued to stare at each other before I leaned back in the chair with a groan and raked my hands down my face. “I love her.”

“Know that.”

“She loves me, too.” I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling and kept talking. “Spent that night and the next morning with her.”

“Shit, Chase.”

“And, well, you know everyone came back early. Princess got scared, and went back to Brandon.”

“And you disappeared.”

“Yep.” I sighed heavily and looked back at him. “She said she needed time, but I know she doesn’t. I’ve messed things up with her too much from the beginning for her to come to me.”

“So what are you gonna do now? Keep staying gone?”

“I don’t know. Told Mom and Dad this morning that I was thinking about moving away from San Diego after graduation to get away from them. But I just caught a glimpse of her for the first time in weeks, and I don’t think I can do that. I just can’t stay away from her.”

The door flew open, and Brandon didn’t even enter the room fully as he yelled, “Harper fainted, and she’s not waking up.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I was out of the chair and racing after him, with Brad right behind me before I fully registered what he had said. When I got to the kitchen, my princess, my entire world, was lying on the ground covered in sweat. Her eyes were wide open and bouncing between Bree, Brandon, Brad, and me.

Brandon went down on his knees next to her, and I gripped the island next to me. I wanted to be the one to make sure she was okay. “She’s awake?” he asked Bree.

“She’s okay, Chase,” Brad said low enough so only I could hear, and clapped my shoulder once. “She’s fine, calm down.”

There was a loud thud, followed by a moan from Harper. “Ow.”

I gripped the counter harder when Brandon reached for her, and her eyes locked on him. “Brad, get the couch ready for her.”

He walked away from me, and I worked on controlling my breathing as I watched my best friend take care of her. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. Harper asked if she’d fallen asleep in the kitchen, and for the first time since Brandon had rushed into the bedroom, I felt like laughing.

Bree laughed, but it sounded shaky. “Not quite. You passed out.”

“I did?” Harper’s already-wide eyes got even wider, and she looked scared.

“Yeah, Harper,” Bree responded. “Scared the crap out of us, too.”

Brad came back into the kitchen. “Couch is ready, so get her over there.”

Brandon went from his knees to a crouch and looked up at both Brad and me, but we were already stepping toward her. We’d all seen Brandon carry Harper more than enough times, and Lord knew I could carry that girl; but I hadn’t seen her go down, and none of us knew what was wrong with her. So with me at her head and shoulders, Brad holding her legs and Brandon carrying her body, we walked her over to the couch.

“I’m fine,” Harper groaned, and tried to sit up once we had her on the couch. “You’re all being ridiculous.”

Brandon looked at her like she was crazy and pushed her gently back down. “Sweetheart, you were out for—”

“I get that, but I’m fine now.” She sighed and rolled her eyes at the same time her stomach growled loudly. She smiled and pointed at her stomach. “See, I’m fine.”

It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Something as ridiculous as her stomach growling, and all of a sudden all I could see was us in my bedroom, her naked body on top of mine as she arched against me. That had been the best morning of my life, and I would give anything to go back and replay it over and over.

“Uh, Brad?” Harper’s voice snapped me back to the present, and I saw her wince as she looked at Brad holding a small towel to her leg. “Could you ease up? You’re hurting me.” Her face fell when she saw him stand up with the bloody cloth. “What the—”

“You dropped your mug, and a big chunk sliced your leg pretty good,” Brandon hurried to tell her what happened, and his head dipped in to kiss her neck. Harper’s eyelids fluttered shut, and she inhaled deeply.

The pain in my chest intensified, and once I knew she was all right, I couldn’t stand to be in the room with them anymore. I hung my head and stepped away from all of them, wishing for the thousandth time I could go back in time to when I first met that gray-eyed girl and do everything differently.

I walked back into Brad’s room to grab my keys, and when I turned to leave, he was standing in the doorway. “You leaving again?” When I just nodded, he asked, “For how long this time?”

“I don’t know, man, I’ll probably keep staying at my parents. Watching her go in and out of his room would kill me. But I’ll be around.” He pointedly looked at the keys in my hand, and I raked my free hand over my face. “Have to get to class, then to the shop. You guys surfing at our spot tomorrow?”

“Always.”

“All right, I’ll be there.”

Brad grinned, and I made my way past him and to the hall. Brandon was making breakfast in the kitchen when I went past him, and I tried not to grit my teeth when he spoke.

“Where’ve you been, bro? I haven’t seen you for more than ten seconds since I got back.”

“Just been busy with the shop.” I shrugged. “Mom and Dad’s house is closer to work. It’s easier just going back there.” I heard Bree and Harper talking down the hall toward Brandon’s room, and looked up at him. “She okay?”

“Harper? She’ll be fine. Bree said she hasn’t eaten since yesterday morning; I’m guessing that’s it.”

I looked back at the breakfast he was making her and thought about the only time I’d ever cooked for her and how my life had turned to shit while I was doing it. “Well, take care of her.”

Brandon’s eyes widened before narrowing as his brow bunched together, but before he could say anything else, I took off for the front door and left for school.

“NO FUCKING WONDER your parents kicked you out of their house.”

My eyes widened, and I looked over at Brian and another artist, Jeff.

“If this is how you looked all the time, I’d kick your ass out, too,” Brian finished as he moved aside some papers and hopped onto my counter at the shop. The door opened, and Jeff and I looked over to it, but Brian just sat there with a shit-eating grin. “Oh, by the way, Riss is coming to tell you off.”

“You’re serious, Brian? You called your wife to come yell at me?”

“Chachi!” Marissa snapped, and I groaned. “It has been a month. A month! You have two choices: grow a pair and ask her if she’s made up her mind yet or get over the bitch.”

“Marissa,” I growled in warning.

She smiled impishly. “That’s what I thought. So go ask her.”

“I can’t!” I flung my sketchbook onto the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. “She’s made up her mind. That’s it.”

“No, she told you to give her some time, and you have. You’re still freakin’ miserable, you’re only moving back into your house because your parents kicked you out of theirs, and she can’t get out of what she did like this.”

“Like what?”

“She can’t tell you she needs time to decide just for you to ignore the issue completely. That’s letting her get off easy. She cheats on her boyfriend and goes back to him without consequences? Fuck that, Chach. Your girl needs to face the shit hole she’s made, and she’s never going to if you just sit here wanting her from a distance. Otherwise, she’s just going to keep doing it, whether it’s with you again or someone—”

“I’m the one who pushed her into all this! I pushed her away, pushed her right into his arms. She didn’t do anything, I’m the one who created this mess. So stop talking about her like she’s a whore!”

“Well, if it talks like a whore, spreads its legs like a—”

“Marissa!” I uncrossed my arms and stepped right up to her. “Swear to God, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut the fuck up. Now. I don’t give a shit that you’re Brian’s wife or that you’re a woman. You don’t fucking talk about my girl like that again. No matter who she chooses tonight. You got me?”

She smiled wide and bounced up and down on her toes a couple times before throwing her arms around my neck. “You’re going to talk to her tonight? Chachi, I’m proud of you, and we’re here for you no matter what happens!”

“What the hell? Just—what?” Brian and Jeff laughed at me as I stood there with my arms hanging limply at my sides, “Bri, your wife’s bipolar!”

Marissa leaned back slightly but kept her arms around my neck. “I’ve heard all your stories about her, I don’t think she’s a whore. I just think she’s confused and in love with two guys. But you needed to go talk to her.” She hugged me tight again, and I chuckled softly as I hugged her back.

“So all that bullshit was to get me to go talk to her?” I let go and stepped away from her, watching as she went to Brian’s arms.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” she asked smugly. “You said tonight.”

“Yeah . . . thanks, Riss. Next time try a different approach though, yeah?” I kissed her forehead, smacked Brian across the head, and clapped Jeff’s shoulder before grabbing my keys and phone. “I don’t have any appointments tonight. See you guys tomorrow.”

“Good luck, Chach!”

Marissa’s words had me remembering what I was about to do, and I took a deep breath in. I had a feeling I’d need a lot of luck to get through the night.

I called Brad, and he said the girls still weren’t back from family day, so I drove to my parents’ house and had to take another deep breath in and out when I saw Bree’s car sitting in the driveway. The ache in my chest was already making itself known, and I hoped this wouldn’t end in a way that ruined me forever.

Bree’s laughter came from the kitchen, and I drifted in that direction to find her at the kitchen table, Harper standing right behind her with a bag of chips in her hand, both staring at Bree’s laptop. Bree noticed me first, paused whatever they were watching, and folded her arms across her chest as she sent an impressive glare my way. Princess still had her eyes glued to the screen.

“Well, look who decided to join the party. Mom and Dad are already asleep.”

I kept my eyes on Harper as she slowly looked over to my sister, then up to me. Her gray eyes widened, and the bag of chips slipped from her grasp.

“I was busy.” It’s not like Mom and Dad didn’t know why I’d been avoiding today. “Harper, can I talk to you?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I guess.” She started walking toward me and her face paled drastically, her arm shooting out to grip the counter. “Whoa.”

“Are you okay?” Bree was out of her chair, and I was rushing toward Harper when she held up a hand to stop us.

“I’m fine, I just got dizzy for a second. Thought I was going to faint again.”

My hands clenched into fists. I needed Bree to not be here; it was taking everything in me to not go up to her and hold my princess. To check her myself and make sure she was okay. Is she sick? I hadn’t seen her since over a week ago, when she fainted in the kitchen of my house, and even now she still looked like she might fall over at any second. Bree and Harper spoke softly to each other before Harper said she’d be back and stepped toward me again.

I turned without a word and walked halfway down my parents’ driveway before turning to look at her.

Her eyes took me in, and even in the dark, I could see the color come back to her face, along with the blush I loved so much. She bit down on the corner of her mouth and shifted her weight a couple times before saying, “Hi.”

I blew out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. A month without talking at all, and all she can say is ‘Hi’? “Hey, Princess.”

“Where have you been?”

“Working a lot, classes, surfing. That’s about it.”

She nodded and looked away, then down before talking again. “Your family misses you.”

This was it. This was where I needed this to go. I steeled myself, and shakily asked, “Do you?”

Her eyes snapped back up to look at me, and I hated the pain I saw there; but it gave me the smallest sliver of hope. “Of course I do, Chase.”

“Harper, I’ve given you more than enough time. I can’t stand to stay away from you anymore, so I need to know who you choose.”

“You’re really going to do this now?” she hissed, and looked at the door before taking a step closer and speaking low. “Bree could be listening from the front door!”

“Yes, now.” While I still had the balls to do this! “I need to know.”

“Chase, how can you even ask me to choose between you two?”

What?

“You left me, like you always do. You expected me to think you still wanted me after you’ve completely avoided me for a month?”

Seriously? What. The. Fuck. I threw my arms out and looked at her like she was insane. Does she not remember anything she’s told me? “I was giving you time! You asked me to give you time!”

“I didn’t want you to avoid me like the plague, I wanted you to fight for me. To show me that you loved me like you said you did.”

Could she honestly even question my love for her after what happened between us? “I do love you, Harper, and that’s why I gave you that time to think about things without my interfering.”

She stepped back, and I closed the distance again. Her eyes held mine, and I watched as they filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Chase, but I can’t.”

Oh, shit. “No. No, no n—”

“I can’t be with you. I love Brandon; I’m sorry.”

No! “Baby, don’t say that. I will fight for you, I will. Please just give us a shot.”

“A part of me will probably always love you, too, but I can’t take chances with you, Chase. You’ll leave me one day, and it will kill me when you do.”

“Wha—No! I wouldn’t, I swear I wouldn’t.” Did she not understand that she meant everything to me? I pulled her into my arms and held her as my body started shaking. I couldn’t lose her. I’d been preparing for it, but I couldn’t handle it.

“You can’t stay with any one girl, that’s just how you are. And that’s fine, Chase, it’s fine. You’re with different girls every night, but when I think about love, I think about forever. You can’t give me that, so I’m not going to hurt myself by only having you for a short time.”

Tears stung my eyes, and it became painful to breathe. After everything, she still thought I was living my old life? She still hadn’t realized I’d changed everything for her? I’ve never claimed to love anyone other than her, I’d never even thought of loving anyone but her. I would give her the world if she asked for it. And she thought I just wanted some fling with her?

I cupped her cheeks and brought her face from my chest so I could look at her, but she was a blurry mess from the tears that were threatening to spill over. “I haven’t been with anyone but you since you started dating Brandon. I knew then there would never be anyone else like you, and I wasn’t going to waste time being with someone else.”