Текст книги "Sharing You"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

7

Brody

May 29, 2015

DRUMMING MY HANDS on the steering wheel, I took a few breaths in and out before shutting off my SUV and stepping out. This time of year was always bittersweet for me. With Tate’s birthday came sorrow, guilt, and wonder at what could have been. Knowing that I was struggling with the grief worse than I did the rest of the year, my two closest friends from the Army were never far behind. No matter what was happening in their own lives and with their families, both Coen Steele and Keegan Hudson came here from Colorado to remember Tate. Well, and I’m sure they were making sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

I’d never asked them to come. They both just showed up on what would have been his first birthday and had come back every year since—either on or near the day. I couldn’t begin to explain how much their yearly visit meant to me. It was something to look forward to rather than focus on the fact that Tate was gone and not living his life.

But in the last few weeks since his birthday, I’d been terrified about them coming. These two knew me better than anyone—even better than Jace—and I couldn’t lie to them if my life depended on it. Not only that, I didn’t want to lie to them. We’d been through a lot together in the Army, and there had been times when we were all each other had. Lying to them was never an option. I just didn’t know how they would react to what was going on between Kamryn and me. I had no doubt they would find out something was up, and I wouldn’t deny what it was when they did. We had to keep our relationship hidden from everyone for numerous reasons, one of them being that Kamryn didn’t want to be seen a certain way. So the fact that two of my friends would soon know had me on edge.

Walking into the restaurant, I looked around until I spotted them and began walking toward them.

“Saco!” they yelled in unison, and stood to greet me.

“You both look ancient,” I said as we all sat down.

“Fuck you, man,” Hudson snorted and signaled the waitress.

I shrugged and flipped open the menu. “I’m just saying. And are you getting fat, Hudson?”

Hudson grinned and ran a hand over his stomach. The guy practically lived in a gym—he couldn’t get fat if he tried. “Aw, don’t get jealous now.”

“How’ve you been?” Steele asked as he hit my arm with his menu.

“Good. Work, avoid Olivia, watch as she spends all my money. What else is new?” I shrugged.

Steele eyed me curiously before nodding. The three of us had all been close, but he’d been my roommate, and the one I’d called the day Tate died. To be honest, I think he was always waiting for me to go off the deep end. I almost laughed. If he wanted to see someone going off the deep end from Tate’s death, he should have come to my house for one of Liv’s fits.

“What about the two of you?” I asked after we ordered food and beers. “What’s going on with the families?”

“Well, this fucker can’t figure out how to put on a condom apparently,” Steele said with a laugh.

Looking to my left, I watched as Hudson fought a grin as he stared at the table. “Seriously? Again?”

“Yep! Number four’s on the way.” He looked up, and his smile was wide before a familiar, haunted look crossed his face—and suddenly all emotion left him.

Fuck. Not yet. I just sat down. Kicking Steele’s foot under the table, I nodded my head at him. “What about you and Reagan?”

“Uh . . .” He cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “We’re great. No more kids, we’re good with two. Studio and business are doing great, I’ve been slammed with photo shoots and weddings now that spring and summer are here. Reagan’s amazing, but I won’t go into that since I don’t feel like getting punched by someone again.”

“She’s my fucking sister, Steele! You can’t expect me to be okay with you talking about that shit in front of me.” Hudson looked like he was going to throw up, and I just laughed.

“Five years we’ve been together. Five. Years. You gotta get over it at some point.”

Hudson shook his head. “Nope. I don’t have to get over shit. So, Saco, talk to us.”

“Work is steady. Obviously there’s not a lot of crime going on in Jeston.” I shrugged.

“Man, just tell us how you are. You know we’re worried about you, and it’s stupid that we have to dance around the real reason we’re here.”

“Jesus. Are you for real?” Steele glared at Hudson before sighing heavily and turning to me. “You seem better than last year, and I’m not just saying that to bullshit you. I think I’ve seen you smile more in the last five minutes than I have in the past four years combined.”

“Yeah,” Hudson agreed. “It’s been good to see.”

“And we’re sorry we weren’t here on his birthday. This was the first weekend I had free.”

I just sat there waiting for when they would stop. Every time they asked how I was doing, they never actually gave me an opportunity to answer.

“Feel like shit that we couldn’t be here on the day,” he continued.

“Yeah, but we thought about him, all my kids wore something with monkeys on it that day,” Hudson added.

“Did you put a monkey on his grave?” Steele asked, and I waited a few more moments to see if one of them was going to continue.

Olivia had dressed Tate in a jacket with monkeys on it the day of the accident, and for some reason I was never able to get that jacket out of my mind. Some people remember what their child’s favorite toy or blanket was. Me? I remembered those damn monkeys. So every year on his birthday I put a new monkey on his grave. Olivia didn’t understand why I did it and told me it was morbid, but then again, she never went and visited his grave. So I couldn’t care less if she didn’t like it.

Nodding my head, a sad smile pulled at my lips as I looked at the guys. “Yeah, I did. And don’t worry about not being here, the fact that you came at all means a lot. So just—yeah . . . thank you. You both know I appreciate it.”

They were silent for a few seconds before Hudson said, “Well, you know we’re here for you. We want to be here for this, we know it’s a hard time of the year for you.”

“And you and Olivia?” Steele asked, filling the silence that had settled between us. “You said you’re still avoiding her, but I would have asked if things were getting better with what I’m seeing from you.”

I huffed and shook my head. “No, Liv and I are just as bad as we’ve always been . . . if not worse.”

“O-kay . . . ?” they both said, drawing out the word as if they were waiting for me to continue.

“I, uh . . . I don’t really know how to . . .” I drifted off and shrugged helplessly when the waitress brought our plates. No one moved to touch their food.

“Are you finally leaving her?” Steele asked.

I wanted to laugh at the word finally. Did anyone like Olivia? Well, other than her family and herself. With a deep breath in, I shrugged again. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

Hudson smacked his hand on the table, and Steele smiled widely at me. “Really, man?” he asked. “Gah, fucking finally. I’m happy for you, Saco. What are you gonna do? You want to move back to Colorado? Maybe a change of pace will be good for you, will help you with the grieving to get away from everythi—”

“Oh, you should,” Hudson said, cutting him off. “We can help you look for a place to live there, and a job. Can you just transfer departments like that?”

Steele pointed at me. “Check into that.”

“Guys, I’m not leaving.”

“What? Dude, why not? I know your family is here, but this could be good for you.”

“Because I’m not leaving Olivia just to leave her, Steele. You think I would go through almost six years of being married to a woman I didn’t love, and then four and a half of her being psychotic, just to one day decide that I was done? I was done before I married her.”

Hudson and Steele looked at each other for a few seconds before looking back at me. “Wait, what?” Hudson asked. “We’ve just been waiting for you to realize you deserved a life, man. If that’s not what this is . . . why are you leaving her?”

“Oh, man, no shit,” Steele said on a breath.

I caught his stare for just a second, but there was no doubting he knew.

“What the fuck am I missing?”

“Hudson,” Steele said and smacked his hand on the table. “Focus, you fuck. Saco’s smiling again. He’s leaving his wife. And he wants to stay in this little town that holds nothing but bad memories and his soon-to-be-ex psycho bitch wife.”

Hudson just shook his head and let his hands fall to the table. “Yeah, I’m still lost.”

Steele smirked at me. “If she means enough that you’re finally going to leave Olivia, then I bet I approve.”

I eyed him and leaned closer so I wouldn’t have to talk loud. “You’re not going to judge me at all about this?”

His smirk faltered. “If you’re already with her, I’m going to tell you to think about what you’re doing. You’re still married, Saco. You should divorce Olivia before you start anything with this girl.”

“What the fuck, are you serious?” Hudson hissed. “You’re cheating on Olivia?”

“But seeing how you’re planning on leaving your wife for another woman, I’m betting it’s already started,” Steele continued as if Hudson hadn’t spoken. “Am I right?”

I nodded and ground my jaw.

“I love you, man. You know that, and I know Hudson will agree that we just want to see you happy for once. If she’s what makes you happy, then that’s what we want for you. But don’t do it this way. Leave Olivia, and then continue it. And I’m not saying that for Olivia, because you don’t owe that bitch a damn thing. I’m saying this for whoever this girl is, she deserves to have you go about this the right way.”

“I know she does,” I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face.

“Unless she’s just trash, then we need to have an intervention. But knowing you, I doubt that’s the case.”

I leveled a glare at Hudson. “She’s not. I’m pretty sure she’s killing herself over this, she hates what we’re doing . . . and I hate that she feels like that. But it’s hard, there’s stuff I have to take care of with Olivia first. And we tried staying away from each other—swear to God we tried—but there was no way to. I know this is going to sound so fucking weird, but I knew within days of meeting her that I needed her to live.”

Both guys just stared at me blankly for a few seconds. “Huh. Well, damn. What’s her name?” Steele finally asked.

“Kamryn.”

“Wh—um . . . this is a girl, right?”

I barked out a laugh. “Yes, her name is Kamryn.” I spelled it out for them, and they both laughed.

“Shit, I was worried there for a second,” Hudson said, and I shot him a droll look.

“Really, though, you would both like her. Brown hair, blue eyes, amazing smile and body. She wears these hipster glasses that I swear to Christ I would hate on anyone else. She has this southern drawl she tries so hard to hide, owns a bakery . . . I don’t know. Just—everything about her.”

“Well, come on, picture.” Hudson grabbed for my phone resting on the table, and I shook my head.

“You won’t find one. I delete our texts too. She’s terrified of anyone finding out, and I don’t want Liv to find out about her because I don’t know what she’d do to her.”

“How’d you meet her?” Steele asked.

I laughed hard once and scratched at the back of my neck. “Well, she’s my sister-in-law’s best friend. Kamryn’s bakery is right next to the boutique Kinlee and her mom run, and I guess Kamryn is always at their house. I went over for a barbecue, and it just escalated from there.”

“Well, I’m glad you found someone who will make you happy. It really is good to see you smiling again. But, like I said, think about what you’re doing. She sounds nice, don’t make her go through this. Finish whatever it is you have to with Olivia, and then be done with her . . . you don’t want to be one of those guys who cheats on his wife, and if people find out, you don’t want her to be seen as one of those girls.”

“I know.” I sighed. Everything he said I already knew and thought about on a daily basis. I hated that I was making Kamryn go through this with me. I hated that I couldn’t have been single when I met her. But I’d tried to stay away, and after feeling dead for so long . . . after finally getting a glimmer of being alive again . . . there had been no way for either of us to wait for me to be divorced. I just hoped I could figure out a way to get some help for Olivia soon.

8

Kamryn

June 5, 2015

CALLING OUT A good-bye to my employees, Grace and Andy, I rested my elbows on the counter near the pastry case and groaned into my hands. My days seemed to drag lately, and it had nothing to do with work. Business was steady, I still loved baking every day, and Kinlee made sure my days were never dull. But I missed Brody. I physically ached from having gone so long without him, sleep was practically nonexistent now, and I’m pretty sure people were beginning to get suspicious with my constant “Mondays suck” theme in the bakery.

If the day didn’t start off well, making it feel like a Monday, we blasted music all day and put out a sign letting customers know that they could throw the old cupcakes against one of our walls to get frustrations out. And I’d been doing it almost every other day.

It had only been a little over two weeks since I’d seen him . . . but an hour without him was torture. Weeks without his touch? It felt like I was constantly suffocating, fighting for air.

I wasn’t this girl who relied on men to survive, never had been. I’d been with Charles out of obligation, but was happy and free when I was away from him. And I’d been more than content being alone when I’d moved to Oregon. Now my world revolved around one man. I had turned into one of those love-struck teenagers whose dramatic fits would sound something like “I can’t live without him.” I knew how ridiculous I sounded, but my need for him was unlike anything I’d ever known.

I’d never believed in soul mates, because no one I’d grown up around had been happy with their spouse. But something in me called to Brody. I never felt as whole as I did when I was with him, and the time we spent apart felt as if my soul had been torn in two. I couldn’t tell you if this empty, hollow feeling was how I’d always been, and it was just more pronounced now that I’d had glimpses of what being whole was like, or if it was all in my head. But I knew if there was such a thing as soul mates, Brody Saco was mine.

And he was still married to another woman.

Straightening up and turning to go into the kitchen to finish up the dishes, I rubbed at the pain in my chest and tried to force the bitter thoughts about Olivia from my mind. I didn’t have the right to hate her. And still, I did. I hated her for being with the man I loved. I hated that she took him from me during the few stolen moments we were able to have. And I hated that I was the one who should be hated by her. I was taking her husband; he was being unfaithful to her because of me. I was ruining a marriage.

As I had done so many times since Brody and I had decided to be together, I felt sick over what we were doing. But even through the guilt, I couldn’t stop my mind from going back to thoughts of Olivia. I wondered what it was about her that had kept Brody this long. I wondered why Brody still wasn’t leaving her.

With a frustrated cry, I threw the dishes I’d been carrying into the sink and gripped the edge with both hands as I forced myself to stay standing.

“I’m not this girl. I’m not this girl,” I chanted to the empty kitchen. But I am.

And it was slowly driving me insane. When we were apart, I second-guessed our decision to start the relationship before he could get a divorce from Olivia. I wondered why I felt bad at all if he was so miserable in his marriage. I hated his wife. I hated myself. A jealousy unlike anything I’ve ever felt made itself known more than once a day. Guilt spread through my body and threatened to cripple me. And my need to be with him again grew stronger with each passing hour.

All of this . . . all of these conflicted emotions . . . were like a broken record in me. I would go through all of them only to start at the beginning again.

So many nights, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I would mentally scream that I couldn’t do this anymore. That I couldn’t handle the guilt anymore. But then I would talk to him, and even through the heartache of knowing he was going home to his wife instead of me, I knew I would go through this emotional torture again and again for Brody.

I just hated that I didn’t know when I would see or talk to him. We were supposed to be able to talk—if not see each other—every night he worked. He worked four days on, then had four days off, and in the beginning I’d lived for those four days on. But lately we’d been reduced to working around Olivia and her schedule since Brody had been worried that Olivia was getting suspicious of something. Which meant I hadn’t seen him in two and a half weeks and had talked to him only three times.

Why was he worried about Olivia getting suspicious when he was supposedly leaving her? I didn’t know. Because you’re stupid for thinking he’ll leave his wife for you. I gritted my teeth and pushed that thought aside. He will leave her. He will.

My phone rang, jolting me from my conflicted inner ramblings. Fumbling to get my phone out of my pocket, my heart skipped a beat before taking off when I saw Brody’s name on the screen. He hadn’t called in almost a week, and I hadn’t been expecting anything for some time to come since today was day one of his four off.

Sliding my finger across the screen to answer, I put the phone to my ear and held my breath after I asked, “Hello?” My biggest fear was Olivia getting ahold of his phone and calling me, and me answering in a way that would easily give away that I was in a relationship with her husband.

“Fuck, Kamryn, you have no idea what just hearing your voice does to me.”

My knees weakened, and I released a shaky breath as I used the sink to support my weight again. “Bro—” My voice gave out, and I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat.

“Ah, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry I haven’t called.”

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. I still wasn’t able to speak yet.

“This has been killing me, I need you to know that.” No one could mistake the sincerity or pain in his voice. “Work has been crazy, and the minute I get off Liv has been calling me and won’t let me get off the phone until I get home. She hasn’t left the house at all, I didn’t know what to do, I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” I choked out.

“I need to see you.”

“But y-you’re off. How?”

“Liv just left for her parents’,” he said, and his next statement sounded unsure. “I don’t think she’ll be back tonight, but I’m willing to risk it even if she does come back. I need you.”

“Okay, okay, I’m on my way home right now.” Screw the dishes. They could wait.

“No! Not after what happened with Kinlee showing up, it’s too risky now.”

I stopped halfway to my purse, and my shoulders sagged. “Then where, Brody? Obviously I can’t come to your place.”

“I’ve been looking up hotels outside the city. There’s one about forty-five minutes from here. Can you meet me there? I’m already on my way.”

I would drive for days if it meant seeing him. “I’ll be there, just tell me where to go.”

I shut everything off in the bakery and locked up as he told me the name of the hotel, and the exit to take to get off the freeway.

“I’ll text you the room number when I get in there, okay?”

“Okay. I’m in my car now. I’ll see you soon.”

“Kamryn.” His voice stopped me from ending the call, and I smiled as his deep voice came through the phone. “Drive safe please. I need you whole so I can show you how much I’ve missed you.”

“I’ll be with you soon,” I promised and pressed END as I headed toward the freeway.

Twenty-five minutes later I got a text from Brody that said “1431” and nothing more. My stomach heated and curled in a delicious way as my car ate up mile after mile. My body felt hyper-aware of every touch, and goose bumps covered my arms . . . and I wasn’t even with him yet. Just knowing I would be soon was enough to replace the crippling ache I’d been dealing with the last two and a half weeks with an ache much lower. An ache I knew would be relieved soon.

After parking, I didn’t even bother trying to look civilized as I ran through the hotel and found the elevators. I’m sure I had flour, icing, and batter all over me. I had no doubt my hair was a hot mess. And I wouldn’t even have put it past the staff to call the cops because some insane woman was running through their hotel. But I didn’t care. As I punched the button for the fourteenth floor, nothing else mattered other than seeing Brody.

Looking at the signs to direct me which way to go, I ran down the hall and knocked quickly on room 1431 as I tried to catch my breath. Within seconds, the door was opening and Brody was hauling my body inside the room.

“Babe,” he moaned into my mouth as he let the door slam shut and pressed my back against it. “I missed you.”

My breathing was even more ragged as he moved his full lips across my jaw and down my throat in soft kisses. “Brody, please, I need you,” I pleaded as I reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

His hands found the tie at the small of my back and pulled, loosening it so he could pull my apron off my body and toss it to the side. I shivered when his fingers barely grazed my skin as he lifted the shirt off my body.

Whole. Finally after weeks without him, I felt whole again. My body burned for him, and everywhere his lips and hands touched me felt like he was branding me. God, how I loved it. My stomach was tightening and the ache for him was growing more intense, and he was still undressing me.

Grabbing for his jeans, I undid the button and pulled down the zipper at the same time he attacked my pants, shoving them and my underwear down my thighs until they fell to my ankles. Kicking off my shoes and pushing my pants aside, I moaned loudly as my head fell back to the door and his fingers slowly ran over my clit before he was pressing two inside me. I freed his erection and took it in my hands just as he removed his fingers only to roll them around my aching bud, and my back arched away from the door as I came apart.

Brody’s mouth slammed down onto mine to quiet my pleasured cries, and he continued working me through my orgasm until my body settled back against the door. He removed my hands from where they were moving up and down his length, then let go of my wrists and grabbed the back of one thigh to hitch my leg around his waist.

“Hold on to me,” he demanded.

The second my arms were wrapped around him, he pushed roughly inside me, and my fingers curled into the muscles in his back. My body moved against the door as he pumped in and out of me, and it was all I could do to keep myself standing. I couldn’t feel my legs, and the one still keeping me upright gave out when his hand, which had been keeping our faces pressed together, released me and he ran his thumb over my sensitive bud again.

“I need you to finish with me.”

My head shook back and forth. At the moment, I wasn’t sure I could again, but I couldn’t form actual words. I felt everything, and somehow at the same time wasn’t sure what I was feeling anymore. I’d never come down from my first climax and didn’t know how I could have another one when my body was still on such a high from his touch, from having him inside me.

“Kamryn,” Brody growled as he thrust harder and harder into me.

I tried to tell him I couldn’t when his thumb and index finger pinched down on my clit, and my mouth opened on a soundless moan as my world shattered. My body felt hot and cold all at once, my eyes rolled back, and I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing.

My fingers dug into Brody’s back, and his teeth biting down on my shoulder to mute his groan had me quickly sucking in air again to relieve my straining lungs. I dropped my head and rested my cheek against the side of his neck as I tried to pull myself back together.

The blissful light-headedness slowly faded as my breathing steadied, and my shaking legs regained their strength as Brody covered the spot where he’d bitten down with soft kisses.

“Hey,” he whispered against my shoulder, and I laughed.

“Hi.”

“We went about tonight backwards.”

“We go about everything backwards,” I countered.

“True.” Kissing my lips, he pulled us away from the door and walked us through the living area until we got to the bed. “How’ve you been, Kamryn?”

There was no way I could tell him the truth. That I couldn’t sleep since I was always fighting off a deep ache and grief not being near him. That I couldn’t eat because if I wasn’t losing myself in my work, or throwing everything I had into the times when I was with Kinlee so she wouldn’t suspect anything, I was killing myself thinking of a hundred different things that Olivia could be doing and saying to keep him . . . and then I would feel too sick to even think about putting food in my stomach.

No, I couldn’t tell him that.

He would see how much I relied on him. He would think I wasn’t secure enough in myself to be alone, or that I wasn’t secure in our relationship. I would look exactly like how I was acting. Young. Naive. Dependent. Needy. Weak.

I hated that I’d found a man whom I would give anything to be with, and now I was reduced to this seemingly insecure person.

Looking in his gray eyes, I simply shrugged and let my fingers slowly trail through his dark hair. “I’ve been okay.”

From the look in his eyes, I could see that he and I both knew that okay was an exaggeration of the last couple weeks.

“I’m sorry you have to go—”

“Don’t,” I pleaded and placed two fingers over his lips. “We knew it would be hard. Stop apologizing.”

“Kamryn . . .”

“Tell me something else. Anything else as long as you aren’t apologizing.”

“Okay.” A ghost of my favorite crooked smile crossed his face as he looked down at me. “Thank you for driving all the way up here to be with me.”

“Of course, Brody.” I grabbed the hand that was lightly brushing at my jaw and kissed his palm before intertwining our fingers. “But this hotel doesn’t exactly look like the kind of place you can pay cash for a room. Aren’t you worried Olivia will find out? I think my condo is safer than this.”

“I have a credit card Liv doesn’t know about, and I don’t receive the statements in the mail. I’ve had it for years to help us when she blows all our money. She’s never found out about it.”

My eyebrows pinched together. “Blows all your money? Does she do that a lot?”

“About twice a year.”

“Brody—”

“Babe.” He cut me off. “I finally have you again, I don’t want to talk about Liv. I want to order some room service and feed you because you look like you’ve lost weight since I last saw you. I want to make love to you slowly after. I want to spend time just talking to you. Then I want to have you coming again and again until you’re begging me to stop. I want to take a shower with you when we’re almost too weak to stand, and then finally fall asleep with you in my arms. But no Olivia, all right?”

I’d started to worry when he mentioned eating, afraid he’d somehow known what I’d been thinking only a couple minutes before. But as he laid out his plans for us for the rest of the night my worries left and a smile tugged at my lips. “’Kay.”

Brody

June 5, 2015

“BRODY, WAKE UP! She’s calling, wake up,” Kamryn said, leaning over my body.

My hands moved to her bare hips, and I pulled her down so her heat was pressed against my hardening cock.

“Brody, she’s calling.”

My eyes snapped open when the agonized tone of Kamryn’s voice finally registered in my mind, and I grabbed at my phone in her hand when I realized what she’d been saying. Kamryn scrambled off my lap and the bed, and as much as it killed me to have her body move away from mine, I was grateful. I couldn’t handle feeling her, touching her, and looking at the hurt in her eyes when I was talking to Olivia.

Clearing my throat, I checked the time before answering the call and hoped like hell I didn’t sound like I’d just been asleep. “Hello?” I answered.

“Where the fuck are you?” Liv hissed through the phone.

I panicked for a few seconds as I tried to think. It was one thing to say I was at Jace’s when I could easily get there, or when I knew for sure Liv was at home. But even though she was supposed to be at her parents’, she could be anywhere. She could have already driven past my brother’s house. “My buddies from the Army are in Portland for a couple days, I drove up here to have some beers with them and catch up.” I held my breath as I waited for her to respond, then let it out in a silent rush when she seemed to buy it.

“You think I care if those dumbasses want to see you? You’re supposed to be here! You’re supposed to be home, Brody!”

“I thought you were staying at your parents’ tonight.”

She paused for a few seconds before screaming, “What is that supposed to mean?! Do you just wait for me to leave, Brody? Is that what you want? For me to leave so you can go do whatever you want? You’re such a selfish bastard, Brody Saco!”

“Fuck, Olivia, stop yelling. I was just saying I don’t know why you always expect me to be home since you’re not there half the time.”

Suddenly, Liv’s anger was gone and was replaced by loud sobs. “I can’t do this anymore, Brody. I—I just can’t!”

A huge wave of relief and guilt for turning her into this person washed over me. I can’t keep doing this either. This is it. I just need to say the words. As I opened my mouth to tell her I wanted a divorce, she stunned me into silence.

“I need to be with Tate. I can’t keep living without him. I can’t keep living in the same house as a murderer. I need to be with him,” she mumbled the last sentence. “It’s time for me to go. Good-bye, Brody.”

“What? Olivia, no! No!” Before I even realized I was moving, I was off the bed and fumbling for my clothes.

“It’ll be better this way. I can be with my son, and I won’t have to live in fear of the day you kill me too.”

“Olivia!” I shouted, but my voice was strained. How can she say something like that to me? How can she put that on me like this? God, what the fuck have I done to make her into this depressed, paranoid, and suicidal woman? “Olivia, don’t! I’m on my way home. Don’t do anything, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”