Текст книги "The Evolution of Mara Dyer"

Автор книги: Michelle Hodkin

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

25

MARA,” A VOICE SAID, WARMING MY SKIN.

My eyes opened, but the trees were gone. The sunlight had vanished. There was only darkness.

And Noah, next to me, his fingers resting on my cheek.

A nightmare. Just a nightmare. I let out a slow breath and then smiled, relieved, until I realized we weren’t in bed.

We were standing by the guest room door. I had opened it—my hand rested on the knob.

“Where are you going?” Noah asked softly.

The last thing I remembered was falling asleep beside him, even though I shouldn’t have. My house was tainted, but in Noah’s arms, I felt safe.

But I left them during the night. I left him.

I had been sleepwalking.

The details of the dream hung low in my mind, thick as smoke. But they didn’t fade with consciousness. I didn’t know where I was going in my sleep or why, but now that I was awake, I needed to see something before I forgot to look.

“My bedroom,” I answered him, my voice clear.

I needed to see that doll.

I pulled Noah along behind me and we crept silently to my room. Noah helped me unpack the doll from the box I had entombed it in, no questions asked. I said nothing as I looked it over, my skin feeling tight as I held it.

Its black smile was a little faded—from wear or washing, I didn’t know—and the dress it wore was newer, but still crude. Definitely handmade. Otherwise? Otherwise it was eerily similar to the doll in my dream.

Maybe more than similar.

I remembered something then.

There was a spot of red on the underside of its arm, where she held it.

I lifted up the doll’s sleeve.

“What is that red?” I had asked the older girl.

“Oh,” she said, and handed me the doll. She examined her finger. “I pricked myself.”

Looking at the doll now, I saw a dark brownish red spot on the underside of its arm. Where its wrist would have been.

My flesh felt dead where my skin met the doll’s. I didn’t know what the dream meant, if anything, but I didn’t care. I was starting to hate this thing and wanted to get rid of it.

“I’m throwing it out,” I whispered to Noah. He looked confused. I’d explain in the morning. We couldn’t get caught, and the more we talked, the more we risked it.

He watched as I slipped on shoes, went outside, and threw the doll on top of the swollen garbage bags in the bin my father had already brought out to the curb. It would be taken away soon, and then I wouldn’t think about it or dream about it or be tortured with it by Jude again.

We went back to Noah’s bed; the doll and the nightmare made me uneasy, and I didn’t want to sleep alone. I rested my head against his shoulder and my eyes closed, lulled by the feel of his silent, even breathing beneath my hands. When I woke again, it was still dark. But Noah was still next to me, and we were still in bed.

I was tired but relieved. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” Noah said, but his voice wasn’t thick with sleep.

I drew back to look at him. “Were you awake?”

He pretended to stretch. “What? No.”

I rolled over onto my side and smiled. “You totally were. You were watching me sleep.”

“No. That would be creepy. And boring. Watching you shower, perhaps . . .”

I punched him in the arm, then snuggled deeper under the covers.

“As much as I’m enjoying this,” Noah said, as he rolled over me, leaning on his arms, “and believe me, I am,” he added, looking down into my eyes as a mischievous smile formed on his lips, “I’m afraid you have to go.”

I shook my head. He nodded.

“It’s still dark.” I pouted.

“Fishing. With Joseph. You have to get back to your room before he wakes up.”

I sighed dramatically.

“I know,” he said, his smile growing wider. “I wouldn’t want to sleep without me either.”

I rolled my eyes and scooted out from beneath him. “Now you’ve ruined it.”

“Just as I intended,” he said, leaning back against the pillows. His eyes followed me to the door.

Torture. I pulled it open.

“Mara?”

“Noah?”

“Do wear those pajamas again.”

“Ass,” I said, grinning. Then left. I padded to my room, passing the French doors in the hallway, the night still black beyond them. I quickened my pace, hating to be reminded of what I couldn’t see.

Of who I couldn’t see.

It was nearly dawn, though. Jude wouldn’t risk breaking in so close to daylight. The thought reassured me and I slipped into my bed, my parents none the wiser. I closed my eyes. I had no trouble falling asleep.

The trouble began when I woke up.

At around eight, my father knocked on the door to make sure I was awake. I poured myself out of bed and over to my dresser to pick out clothes for Horizons.

But when I opened my underwear drawer, my grandmother’s doll was inside.

It was all I could do not to scream. I backed away from the dresser and locked myself in the bathroom, sliding down the tiled wall to the cold tiled floor. I pressed a fist against my mouth.

Was Jude watching me last night? Did he see me throw it away? And then put it back in my room while I was asleep in Noah’s?

Goose bumps pebbled my flesh and my skin was slick with sweat. But I couldn’t let my father know anything was wrong. I had to dress and look and act like everything was normal. Like I was healthy and Jude was dead and none of this was happening.

“Get up,” I whispered to myself. I stayed on the floor for one more second, then stood. I turned the faucet on, cupped my hand under the stream of water and brought it to my lips, glancing at my reflection in the mirror as I straightened.

I froze. The contours of my face seemed strange. Subtly unfamiliar. My cheekbones were sharper, my lips were swollen as if I’d been kissing, my cheeks were flushed, and my hair stuck to the back of my neck like paste.

I was transfixed. The water slipped through my fingers.

The sound of it hitting the porcelain sink brought me back. My throat ached—I turned the faucet back on and cupped another handful of water and greedily drank it from my palm. It cooled me from the inside out. I looked in the mirror again.

I still looked different, but I felt a little better. I was tired and scared and angry and frustrated and obviously stressed out. Maybe I was getting sick, too. Maybe that’s why I looked strange. I rolled my neck, stretched my arms above my head, and then drank again. My skin prickled, as if I was being watched.

I glanced at my dresser. The doll was still inside.

“Almost ready?” Dad called out from the hallway.

“Yeah,” I yelled back. I turned away from the mirror and put on clothes. I threw one last look at my dresser before I left my room.

The doll had to go.

26

GOOD MORNING,” MY FATHER SAID WHEN I FINALLY appeared in the kitchen.

“Morning.” I grabbed two granola bars and a bottle of water from the pantry, gulping half of it down while Dad finished his coffee. We headed for the car together.

He rolled down the windows once we were inside. It was unusually gorgeous out—blue and cloudless and not hot yet at all, but the inside of my skin burned, anyway.

“How’re you feeling, kid?”

I shot him a glance. “Why?”

“You look a little tired.”

“Thanks . . .”

“Oh, you know what I mean. Hey, you know what movie I rented?”

“Um . . . no?”

He paused meaningfully. “Free Willy,” he said with a giant smile.

“Okay . . .”

“You loved that movie—we used to watch it all the time, remember?”

Like when I was six.

“And Joseph is up in arms about the plight of orcas now, so I thought we could watch it together, as a family,” he said. Then added, “I bet Noah would like it.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He was clearly making an effort. “Okay, Dad.”

“It’s uplifting.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Transformational—”

“Okay, Dad.”

He grinned and turned on the classic rock station and the two of us sat in silence. But being back in his car again, I found myself reflexively glancing back in the side mirror. I was looking for the truck, I realized.

I was looking for Jude.

I spent the whole drive to Horizons worrying I would see him behind us, but I didn’t. Dad dropped me off and I was warmly welcomed by Brooke, who introduced me to the art therapist I’d be working with a few days a week. She had me draw a house, a tree, and my family—some kind of test, definitely—and once I did so to her satisfaction, it was time for Group. Half of the students had to share their fears.

I was very glad to be in the other half.

Phoebe kept her distance from me that day, and Jamie made me laugh the way he always did. The hours passed unremarkably but I found myself sneaking glances outside at every opportunity, waiting for the white truck to appear in the parking lot.

It never did.

When my father and I pulled up to the house that afternoon, Mom’s car was already in the driveway. More importantly, so was Noah’s.

I felt a burst of relief. I needed to tell him about the doll in my room this morning, about Jude in my room last night while we slept. I nearly dove out of the car while it was still moving.

“Tell your mom I’m off to work on her list,” Dad said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be back soon.”

I nodded and shut the door. He didn’t drive away until I was inside the house.

Machine gun fire erupted from our family room, and I entered it to find Noah and Joseph slouched on the floor with controllers in their hands, their eyes glued to the TV.

Our conversation would have to wait.

“How was fishing?” I asked, in a casual voice that did not suit my mood. I walked through the archway into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I was hungry, but nothing looked good.

“We did not, in fact, go fishing,” Noah answered, still squinting at the screen.

“What? Why?”

Joseph rocked forward, gripping his controller fiercely. He didn’t speak.

“Joseph didn’t want to kill any fish, though he seems to have no problem killing—you bastard.”

Something exploded loudly and my brother dropped the controller, raising both hands in the air. “The champion is undefeated.” He flashed an obnoxious smirk at Noah.

“Good for you,” I said.

Noah shot me a look. “Where’s the loyalty?”

“I meant about the fish, but for the game, too.” I high-fived my brother and then I flashed an obnoxious smirk of my own. “Blood over boys.”

“You’re both evil.”

“I’m going to be a vegetarian,” Joseph told me.

“Mom will think I put you up to it.” I hadn’t eaten meat since the Santeria birthday show; every time I looked at it, I tasted blood in my mouth.

I dropped onto the couch. “So what did you guys do if you didn’t fish?”

“We went out on the boat and watched for dolphins,” Joseph said.

“Jealous. Did you see any?”

Noah nodded. “A small pod. We had to go out pretty far.”

“The boat was so cool,” Joseph said. “You can come with us next time.”

I grinned. “That’s very generous of you.”

“Well,” Noah said, standing up and stretching. His fingers touched the ceiling. “I don’t know about you, but after letting your brother win, I’m quite famished.”

Joseph slit his eyes at Noah. “Liar.”

“Prove it,” Noah shot back.

“I can prove it.”

“All right,” I said, “this rivalry is getting a little intense. Yes, Noah, I’m hungry.”

“Then if you’ll pardon me, nemesis,” he said to Joseph. “We will rematch another day.”

“You’ll still lose.”

The corner of Noah’s mouth lifted as he walked to the kitchen. I joined him and watched him rummage in the refrigerator.

“Fancy a . . . cucumber?” he said, holding one up.

“You’re not very good at this.”

“Right, then. Takeout it is.”

I looked behind us, toward the hallway. “Where’s my mother?”

Noah shook his head. “One of her friends picked her up for coffee, I think?”

“Daniel?”

“Out with Sophie. I’m responsible for everyone’s welfare until she returns.”

“God help us,” I said with a grin, but I was glad. I lowered my voice. “So last night—”

“Pizza!” Joseph called out.

“Must we?” Noah yelled back. He turned to face me. “What do you want?”

“Not pizza,” I agreed. “I feel kind of gross.”

“Gross. Indeed. Can you think of any food item in particular that would make you feel less gross?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know—soup?”

“Pea soup, perhaps?”

“I hate you.”

“But you make it so easy. Chinese?”

I shook my head and glanced out the window. I didn’t really care. I just wanted to talk.

“Never mind, you’re making this quite difficult. Joseph!” Noah called out.

“What!”

“Where are Daniel and Sophie?”

“Avigdor’s!” my brother shouted.

Noah looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“Fine with me,” I said.

“What kind of food is it?” Noah asked.

“Israeli!”

“Do they have soup?”

“Sushi too!” Joseph yelled.

“Enough with the yelling!” I shouted, then sank into a kitchen chair. I put my head in my hands while Noah ordered and texted Daniel to bring the food home with him. Eventually, Joseph abandoned the video game and went to his room.

Leaving us alone. I opened my mouth to speak but Noah interrupted me before I could.

“What did you do at your place today?”

“We shared our fears. Listen, last night—”

“That sounds appropriately hellish.”

“I didn’t have to go, they split the group in half. It’s my turn tomorrow—”

“Daniel’s anxious to see it,” Noah said, interrupting me again. “He said he’s going to a family therapy thing in a few days? Should be delightful.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, no. Noah—are you staying tonight?”

“Actually, I’ve arranged for us to meet with your new guardian. Why?”

“I was going to suggest you sleep in my room, this time.”

Noah gave me a sly look. “Not that I’m necessarily opposed, but why?”

The words Jude was in my room congealed on my tongue. When I finally spoke them, my voice sounded different. Terrified. I hated it.

I hated that I was afraid of him. And I hated the way Noah tensed when he saw it.

So I swallowed hard. Then lightened my voice. “He left me a little present in my underwear drawer,” I said casually, working hard to fake it.

Noah’s eyes never left mine, but his frame relaxed just slightly. “Dare I ask?”

“The doll,” I explained. “He must have seen me throw it out.”

“Mara—”

I shook my head. “He was probably watching creepily from some bushes or something.”

“Mara,” Noah said louder.

“The neighbor’s hedge is really tall,” I went on. “What is wrong with him?”

“Mara.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t Jude,” Noah said quietly.

“What wasn’t Jude?”

“The doll in your bedroom. He didn’t put it there.”

I blinked, not getting it. “Then who did?”

It felt like forever before Noah finally spoke.

“You.”

27

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” MY VOICE was quiet. Shaky. “I threw it away.”

Noah nodded. “And then later you woke up and got out of bed. You didn’t say anything, so I assumed you left to get a drink or something, but given recent events, when you didn’t come back, I followed you. You left through the back door.”

Invisible fingers tightened around my throat. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I thought you were awake,” Noah said, his voice measured and even. “I asked what you were doing and you said you made a mistake—that you threw away something you wanted to keep. You seemed completely with it; you walked outside and I watched you take the doll from the waste bin and bring it back inside. You went to your room and then nearly came back to bed when I suggested you wash your hands first. You laughed, you did, and then you came back to bed and promptly fell asleep. You don’t remember any of this?”

I shook my head because I wasn’t sure I could speak. Nothing like this had ever happened before; I had nightmares, sure, and I blacked out before, yes. But this was new.

Different.

Like my reflection in the mirror.

I swallowed hard. “Do I look different to you?”

Noah’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“This morning, after—after I found the doll in my drawer,” I said. After I put it there, I didn’t say. “I looked in the mirror and I feel like—like I look different.” I glanced up at Noah, wondering if he saw it, but he only shook his head. “Look again.”

Noah took my face in his hands then and drew me close. So close I could see flecks of navy and green and gold in his eyes as he studied mine. His stare was incisive. Piercing.

“Right?” I asked under my breath.

Noah said nothing.

Because I was right. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

His eyes narrowed until all I could see were slits of blue. “You don’t look different,” Noah said. “Just . . .”

“Just different.” I pulled away. I was frustrated. Anxious. I glanced in the direction of my bedroom, in the direction of the doll. “Something’s happening to me, Noah.”

He was distressingly silent.

Noah knew I looked different. He just refused to say it. I didn’t know why and at that moment, I didn’t even care. There was one thing on my mind and one thing only. I stood up. “Where are your keys?”

“Why?” he asked, drawing out the word.

“Because I want to burn that doll.”

My parents would be disconcerted if they saw me light a fire in our backyard and burn a doll I’ve had since I was a baby, so we needed somewhere else to do it.

“You have a fireplace, right?” I asked him as I headed toward the front door.

“Several, but we can’t leave.”

I closed my eyes. “Joseph.” Damn.

“And you. If we’re not here when your parents get back—I’m sure I needn’t remind you of your recent psych ward stint.”

As if I could forget.

Noah ran a hand over his jaw. “They trust me here, with Joseph, for an hour, maybe. But I can’t take you out alone.”

“So I’m trapped here indefinitely.”

“Unless . . .”

“Unless what?”

“Unless we bring them along.”

I stared at Noah, waiting for the punch line.

That was it, apparently. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not? An invitation to the Shaw abode would go a long way with your mother. She’s desperate to meet my family—Ruth can distract her while we light fires and chant.”

“Not funny.”

A half-smile appeared on Noah’s lips. “Yes it is,” he said. “A little,” he added as my eyes narrowed to slits. “But if you’d rather they didn’t meet, I could burn the doll for you—”

“No.” I shook my head. Noah didn’t get it, and it didn’t even matter to him. He was game for anything, as always. But I needed to see with my own eyes that it was gone. “I want to be there.”

“Then it’s the only way,” Noah said with a shrug.

“You’re not worried about losing the sympathy card?”

“Pardon?”

“If your parents charm my parents, you might not be allowed here as much.”

An unreadable expression crossed Noah’s face. “Your mother’s clever,” he said, his voice low. “She’ll see things for what they are.” He stood and withdrew his cell from the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ll have Ruth invite her over tomorrow. For a ladies’ tea.”

“Your dad won’t be there?”

Noah arched an eyebrow. “Highly doubtful. And if he is, I’ll make sure we reschedule.”

“But I want to meet him.”

“I wish you didn’t,” he said as he scrolled through his iPhone.

“Why? Are you embarrassed?”

There was a bitter twist to Noah’s smile, and he answered without looking up at me. “Absolutely.”

I started to feel a bit uneasy. “By me?”

“By him.”

“That bad?”

“You have no idea.”

When my mother came home, Noah instructed me to ask her if I could go for a walk with him. I shifted my weight under her stare as she considered me.

“Be back in half an hour,” she said finally.

I grinned, surprised. “Okay.”

“And don’t leave the block.”

“Okay.”

My mother handed me her cell. “I’m trusting you,” she said quietly.

I nodded, and then Noah and I left. He loped gracefully ahead; his stride was so long, I almost had to jog to keep up.

“So where are we really going?”

“For a walk,” he insisted, staring ahead.

“Yeah, I caught that. Where?”

Noah pointed down the street at a black car parked under an enormous live oak tree. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

As we approached, an average-looking man exited the driver’s seat of the car. He flashed a bland smile at us.

“John,” Noah said with a nod, “I’d like to introduce you to your assignment.”

John held out his hand. “Mara Dyer,” he said to me as I shook it, “glad to meet you.”

Noah faced me. “John’s been working with a security firm so secure that it doesn’t have a name for—how long, again, John?”

“Since before you were a concept,” the man said, still smiling.

His answer surprised me—he didn’t look that old. And he wasn’t tall or broad or bodyguard-ish in any way. Everything about him was unremarkable, from his forgettable clothes to his forgettable face.

“He’s going to be trading shifts with his partner. Between them, they’ve protected four presidents, seven members of the Royal Family, and nine Saudi princes.”

“And now you,” John said.

Noah slid one hand around my waist and lifted the other to my neck, my cheek, tipping up my chin with his thumb. His voice was soft when he spoke. “They won’t let anything happen to you,” he said.

I won’t let anything happen to you, he meant.

And he might have been right, if Jude were all I had to worry about. But no one could protect me from myself.