Текст книги "Some Sort of Happy"

Автор книги: Melanie Harlow

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

The Saturday before Memorial day, which was also the day of the reunion, I got off work a little early and moved my things into my parents’ house.

Back in my old room, I plugged in my laptop and phone, shoved a few boxes under the bed, hung dresses, skirts, blouses, and coats in my closet, and stacked shoe boxes beneath them. Into the drawers of my old dresser went underwear, socks, pajamas, bottoms and tops, workout clothes and a couple bathing suits. I tried not to feel too depressed about having to live with my parents, but it was hard. Every noise I heard, from the slam of the dresser drawers to the squeak of my old bed springs, reminded me that I was right back where I’d started ten years ago. Even the smell of the house hadn’t changed—furniture polish and pie. There was always a pie in the oven because my mother sold them at the little farm stand on the road.

Once everything was moved and unpacked, I went back to the guest house and helped my mother give it a thorough cleaning. She praised everything I’d done with it, from paint colors to linens to small finishing touches like the bin pulls, and thanked me for my hard work. I could tell she suspected something was up with me, because she kept eyeing me strangely. It was the look she used to give us before checking to see if we had a fever as kids.

“Everything OK?” she asked after I sighed for the millionth time, glancing over at me from the window she was washing.

“Fine.” I continued wiping down the counters.

She was quiet a minute, her cloth squeaking on the glass. “Sebastian is nice. He going with you to the reunion tonight?”

“No.”

“Why not? I thought you graduated the same year.”

“We did. He doesn’t want to go.” I finished with the counters and moved on to the oven, which I hadn’t even used that much because I really didn’t cook. Yet another adult skill I lacked.

“Oh. What about Dani and Kristen?”

“They couldn’t make it in. Dani’s due in like two weeks, and Kristen’s in-laws were visiting or something.”

“Are you going alone, then?”

“I guess.”

She stopped what she was doing and came over to the kitchen. “You don’t sound very excited about it.”

“I’m not.”

“So why go at all?”

I shrugged. “Maybe I won’t.”

“Skylar.”

I finally turned and looked at her.

“What’s with you?” Her brow furrowed. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

Exhaling, I leaned back against the oven. “I’m just trying to figure out some stuff and it’s stressing me out. I’m not much looking forward to the reunion because I’m embarrassed about being on Save a Horse and the whole dethroning thing, but I haven’t done anything else worth talking about.”

“You’ve done a lot of things!” She threw up one hand. “You’ve traveled, lived in New York City, been on television…how many people can say that?”

“I don’t know. Doesn’t seem like much compared to what I said I was going to do.” I threw the rag onto the counter. “Or compared to what Nat and Jilly have done. I just feel like an asshole, OK? That’s what’s with me.”

“Skylar Elizabeth Nixon, you listen to me,” she said so forcefully I had to meet her eye. “I did not raise any assholes, and more importantly, I did not raise my girl to talk that way about herself. So you went to New York to chase a dream and it didn’t happen, so what. You know what I always say about failure.”

“It builds character,” I mumbled.

“That’s right. Failure builds character, and character is what you need right now. Character and confidence. This is no big thing! You think you’re the first small-town girl with stars in her eyes that got disillusioned with the reality of trying to make it in that world?”

“No,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Of course you don’t, because you’re not stupid. Now, your entire life everyone’s been telling you what a special snowflake you are—but the truth is, you’re just like the rest of us, honey. That means sometimes you’re gonna get what you want, sometimes you’re not. Sometimes you’re gonna get it only to find out it’s not what you thought it was gonna be. It’s all part of the journey. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said, even though part of me was like, What do you mean I’m not a special snowflake? Was your mother supposed to say this stuff to you?

“Good. You can walk into that reunion tonight and be proud of who you are, Skylar. You’re a beautiful girl with a great big heart and a lot of potential. Good Lord, if we all had the answers by age twenty-seven, life would be pretty boring, don’t you think?”

I curled my upper lip. “I hate boring.”

She laughed, coming around the counter to give me a hug. I let her, wrapping my arms around her plushy middle and taking comfort in her pie-crust-and-Windex scent. “You always have. Go have fun tonight. You can think about life’s opportunities tomorrow.”

• • •

The reunion was being held at The Corner Loft downtown. I got ready in my old bedroom, feeling a little like I was leaving for the Prom, only without a date. In the spirit of being more responsible, I’d decided to take back the outfit I’d purchased to wear to the reunion and wear something I already owned—a fitted LBD with cap sleeves that hit me about mid-thigh. It was a little more conservative than I usually dressed for parties, but I wasn’t feeling all that festive. For me it was all about the shoes anyway, and I wore black strappy Louboutin heels with a satin bow at the back.

I took an Uber downtown, arriving early as promised to help with decorations. The reunion committee was there already, placing centerpieces on tables, setting up a photo booth, and giving a photo montage a test run on a large screen against one wall.

Jennifer Krege, the committee head, greeted me warmly. We hadn’t been close friends, but I remembered her as an outgoing high-achiever. “You look beautiful,” she said. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Thanks. You look beautiful too.” She was very pregnant, but looked adorable in her dress and flats, and I was jealous of the way she could wear an Audrey Hepburn updo. My ears made me look like a muppet when I tried it. “What can I do to help?”

She put me to work setting out votive candles, and when that was done, she asked me to help her move some tables to make room for dancing. Other committee members said hello, and while no one squealed with joy when they saw me, no one spit in my eye either. I began to think maybe the evening would be OK.

I relaxed even further after a couple glasses of wine, and even managed to have some fun reminiscing with former classmates about school plays, favorite teachers, choir trips, Homecoming parades and bonfires. Maybe I was a little bit careful whenever I talked to someone to keep the conversation focused on the past, but other people seemed more interested in reliving the old days rather than talking about their current, everyday lives too. Only a few asked about Save a Horse, and when I confessed that pretty much everything they saw was staged, they said (much to my relief) that’s what they figured since I’d never been anything like that in school, and we went on to talk about other things. (Only one creeper asked about the mechanical bull, but I quickly excused myself to the ladies room after that.)

As the evening wore on, I found I actually enjoyed hearing about the different paths my classmates had taken, and I didn’t resent their happy marriages or adorable kids or professional lives. In fact, I was genuinely happy for them. There were even a couple divorces and failed start-ups and one juicy affair rumor, so I didn’t feel completely terrible about my mistakes or lack of direction. When people asked what I was doing now, I simply said I’d moved to New York for a while but missed home and family, so I was working for Natalie and the family farm while I figured out what to do next.

Far from being judgmental, some of my married-with-kids classmates expressed envy at my having so much time to myself, at all the possible avenues still open to me. I smiled and agreed, but inside I thought it would be nice to owe a little time to someone. It made me think of Sebastian, and I wondered what he was doing tonight. I hadn’t heard from him since I got out of his truck three days before.

“I mean, seriously, you could like take off tomorrow and go to Rio or something and no one would even bother you,” Katelyn Witzke was saying to me, although her eyes were scanning the room behind me. “Ooh! There’s Sam Schatko. He looks bad. Did you hear about his wife? I heard she’s screwing his boss. Can you imagine?”

“No. Hadn’t heard that,” I murmured. Katelyn and I had run with the same popular crowd, but even back then I remember her always gossiping about someone. I hadn’t liked it much then and found it even less tolerable now.

“Anyway, I can’t even go to the bathroom at home without the boys following me in there. A shower by myself feels like heaven. And speaking of heaven, what god is that?”

“Huh?”

“That guy right there, behind you. He’s gorgeous. Did he go to our school?”

Confused, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Sebastian walking through the crowd, looking right at me. My breath caught in my throat—he did look like a god. Gorgeous and serious and totally focused on me. Wearing a dark blue suit and white dress shirt without a tie, he turned every female head in the place as he crossed the room. My stomach flip-flopped madly.

Wait, I was angry with him. I narrowed my eyes.

But as he came closer and I saw the uncomfortable, almost pained expression on his face, I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to brush him off when he got to my side.

Still, it had been three days. I could make him sweat five more minutes. I turned back to Katelyn.

“Do you know who that is?” she whispered, staring over my shoulder, her dark eyes like saucers.

“Mmhm.” I lifted my wine glass to my lips nonchalantly, trying not to betray the hammering in my chest. A moment later, I felt the warmth of his body at my back.

“Hey.” His voice was low in my ear.

A shiver moved up my spine. I looked at him over one shoulder.

Then I waited.

For an apology. A how are you. A nice to see you. Anything that would indicate he knew he’d hurt my feelings and felt bad about it. Seconds ticked by and he remained silent, so I looked at Katelyn again, who was standing there with her mouth agape. “I’m sorry. You were saying?”

Then I felt it—his forehead dropping gently onto the back of my head, and resting there. Something squeezed my heart, but I refused to give in. Then I felt the hand on my hip, heard him whisper my name, and I knew I was lost.

Katelyn was positively riveted. “Is—is this your husband, Skylar?”

“No. This is Sebastian Pryce. Sebastian, do you remember Katelyn Witzke, used to be Katelyn Ellis?” He didn’t move. “Say hello to the nice lady, Sebastian,” I said firmly.

Sighing, he came out from behind me and held out his hand. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Katelyn said uncertainly, taking his hand. I could tell she was struggling to place him, just like I had, and I could also tell the moment it clicked, because she blinked, her mouth falling open again. “Wait a minute—you’re not the Sebastian Pryce from our graduating class, are you?”

He nodded, looking more uncomfortable by the minute. Unable to stay mad at him when he seemed so miserable, I took his hand. “Sebastian moved back about a year ago, and we ran into each other at Coffee Darling. He’s an attorney now.”

“Oh,” she said, recovering somewhat. “For what firm?”

“My father’s.”

She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, and I scrambled to cover the awkward silence. “Hey, would you mind getting me another glass of white wine, Sebastian?” I asked him. “I’m empty.”

“Sure.” He took my glass. “And then maybe we can talk?”

“OK.”

He looked at Katelyn. “Can I get you anything?”

“No thanks.” She held up her half-full glass. “I’m good.” As soon as he was out of earshot, she pounced on me. “Oh my God! Is that really Sebastian Pryce? The crazy one? Are you guys dating? He’s so hot! Is he, like, normal now?”

Irked by the word crazy, I was already frowning by the time she got to normal. “Don’t say that about him. He wasn’t crazy, he was just…shy. And a little anxious.”

She shrank away from me, screwing up her face. “Are we thinking of the same person? He was totally nuts. Remember all the weird things he used to do? The washing his hands thing and the way he’d arrange all his pens and pencils on his desk so they were the exact same distance apart and the way he wouldn’t sit in an odd row in any classroom? I remember this huge fight he got into with Mr. Parlatto because he wouldn’t sit in the first row.” She lifted her wine to her lips, her eyes lighting up at the promise of fresh gossip. “He was a total freak.”

I was furious now, my hands fisting at my sides. “I remember how he used to get teased for being a little different,” I snapped. “And I realize now how tough it must have been for him to go through school without any friends. I wish I’d have shown more compassion, something I think we all could use a little more of. Excuse me.”

I found Sebastian in line at the bar, fending off the advances of a drunk Cassie Callahan, our prom queen and head cheerleader. A girl who probably wouldn’t have given him the time of day ten years ago. Fierce, territorial desire for him ignited inside me. “Ready to go? I need a ride home.”

“Yeah,” he said. “You don’t want your wine?”

“No. I’m done.” Without a word to anyone else, I took Sebastian’s hand and pulled him through the crowd, well aware of the stares we got. At the coat check, Sebastian held my coat for me and I slipped into it, then he tipped the woman two dollars before taking my hand again. My heart was pounding as we descended the stairs, and I had the desperate urge to kiss him, to wrap my arms and legs around him, to cover his body with mine and protect him—which was ridiculous. I was half a foot shorter than he was, even in my heels. And he was a grown, gorgeous, strong man, not the misunderstood child he’d been…but still. Something inside me just wanted to get him alone and hold him, whisper to him, take him inside me and make him feel good. He’d come here for me, even though he hadn’t wanted to. Even though he’d known how people would gossip and wonder.

We didn’t speak until we got outside on the empty sidewalk. “Fucking hell,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as we turned the corner. His truck was parked on the street a few cars down. “How did you stand it in there that long?”

I didn’t answer. Instead I moved in front of him and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him hard, my feet coming right off the ground. His arms looped around my back

“What are you doing here, anyway?” I whispered against his lips.

“I came for you.”

Gratitude made my body tingle, but I wanted more. “Why?”

“Because I’m sorry.” He set me on my feet and looked me in the eye. “Because it wasn’t just about sex, and I treated you like it was. I was wrong.” Lowering his lips to mine, he kissed me before whispering in my ear, “Give me another chance. Please.”

“Oh, God, Sebastian.” Taking his face in my hands, I rose up on tip toe and looked up at him. “I don’t even feel like I have a choice. I want you too much.”

He exhaled, his breath warm on my mouth. “Come home with me. Stay the night.”

I kissed his lips. “Yes.” The side of his jaw. “Yes.” The base of his throat. “Yes.”

Somehow I managed to drive home, although I don’t know how, since the moment I turned the key in the ignition, Skylar unbuckled my belt, undid my pants, and stuck her hand inside my boxers.

“Move your seat back,” she said, pulling my cock out and slipping it through her fingers.

I did as she requested, looking around to make sure no cops were in sight.

“Now drive,” she demanded. “Or I’ll stop.”

Groaning, I put the truck in drive and tried to concentrate on the lines and lights and signs and traffic rather than on her hand working up and down my shaft, or her thumb circling the head, or the way she watched what she was doing, a little moan escaping her mouth. And speaking of her mouth.

When I turned onto the dark, quiet highway on the peninsula, she unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned toward me. “Careful now,” she whispered. Before I could stop her, she fluffed her hair back behind her shoulders, fisted my dick, and put her head in my lap. The next thing I felt was her tongue swirling around the tip of my cock like it was an ice cream cone and she didn’t want to waste a single drop. Oh fuck, oh fuck, now I was picturing her with my cum dripping off those round pink lips like melting vanilla ice cream.

I garbled something unintelligent, but what I meant to say was, I can’t drive, I can’t drive. It got even worse—better?—when she took just the head in her mouth and sucked, first gently and then hard, her fingers closing tight around the base.

My leg muscles tightened up. “Jesus, Skylar. Easy.” I tried to relax my lower body muscles, which wanted to flex and thrust and push deeper into her mouth.

She took her lips from me with a little pop and giggled. “No, it’s hard. And I think it’s getting harder.”

“Oh, fuck. Fuuuuuuuck,” I moaned as she slid her lips down to her fingers, enveloping my cock in hot, wet heaven. She kept it there, half in her mouth, half in her hand and worked it from both ends, jerking and sucking until I was positive I was going to lose control of my truck, my orgasm, and my senses.

“Mmmmm.” She lifted her head again. “I can taste you,” she whispered. “I love it.”

My jaw ticked. “You are a very bad girl.”

“I know.” She rubbed the tip in circles against the flat of her tongue, and I cursed again, making her laugh.

God, that laugh. I’d never grow tired of it. And then I made the mistake of glancing down at that blonde hair. I’d seen her first from behind tonight, the moment I stepped into the room. I’d hated every step of the walk to get to her, feeling the eyes of everyone there on me, but I’d kept my focus on that hair and those curves in her tight black dress and those alabaster legs that had been wrapped around my body just a few nights ago. When I’d gotten close enough to see her shoes, blood rushed to my groin at the sight of the bows tied above the high heels.

That was bad, right? That I’d gone there to apologize, to show her I wanted to be there for her, to make an effort at being the kind of person she deserved—and then all I could think about was fucking her with her shoes on?

And that was if I could hold out.

“Wait,” I begged her as I felt myself nearing the point of no return. We were getting close to the cabin, although I could hardly feel my foot on the pedal. “I don’t want to come yet. Just wait.”

“Not. Waiting,” said the little vixen, taking me all the way in. My cock hit the back of her throat and my legs seized up.

Fuck, I have to pull over. Veering to the shoulder, I braked hard and came to an abrupt stop, my breath coming fast, my heart pounding inside my chest. Please don’t let a cop come by here tonight—at least not for the next thirty seconds, which was all I’d have before—

“Jesus. Skylar.” Turning off the ignition and the lights, I grabbed her hair, gathering it in my fists.

“Yes,” she whispered, yanking me hard and tight and fast with her hand. I could feel her breath on my cock, teasing me, and it made me want to tease her a little.

I tightened my fingers in her hair, not pulling too hard, but not letting her get her mouth back on me either.

She gasped. “Oh, you’re so mean. Let me. Please. I just want to taste you.” She looked up at me with those big, soft eyes and I swear to fucking Christ I almost lost it right there in her face.

“You’re a very bad girl, Skylar Nixon.”

Her lips widened into a wicked smile. “Let’s play a game.”

Oh, Jesus. “What kind of game?”

“Just a little something I’ve been thinking about.” She licked me, and I let her. “Let’s pretend we’re back in school and we’re skipping class.”

I closed my eyes, willing myself not to come too fast, but the fact that she wanted to indulge in a little fantasy was liable to put me right over.

“And I’ve never given anyone a blowjob before. You’re the first, Sebastian.” Her voice had changed. It was higher-pitched, more girlish.

“Yeah?” I managed, relaxing my grip in her hair a little.

“Yes.” She brought her legs up beneath her so she was kneeling on the passenger seat. “Tell me what to do to make you come.”

“Uh, hearing you say that would’ve made me come already.”

She gave me a dirty look, then pouted. “Come on. Play with me.” A dirty little grin stretched her lips. “I just want to please you.”

When she lowered her mouth to me again, her ass in the air, I put one hand on it as she took me in deep again, slowly gliding her lips and tongue and teeth down my cock and back up, again and again and again.

“Fucking hell, Skylar Nixon. If this is your first blowjob, you are a goddamn prodigy.”

She giggled, pulling me from her mouth. “You like it?”

I licked my lips and palmed her perfect ass. “Yeah.”

“Have you seen me around school?” She arched her back, batted her lashes at me. “I’ve seen you.”

“Every day,” I growled. “And every day I want you just like this. On your knees for me.”

“Really?” She smiled shyly. “Tell me what to do.”

I inhaled. “Put my dick in your mouth,” I told her. (Somewhere inside my head was a skinny, awkward teenager screaming Oh my God, you just told Skylar Nixon to put your dick in her mouth!) “Yes, just like that.” She took me between her lips and resumed the slow bobs of her head, the tight squeezes with her hand. “It feels so good when you take my cock in deep like that. I love your tongue on it.” She paused with the tip hitting the back of her throat and I groaned, lifting my hips off the seat.

“Yes, yes…” I whispered. “Fuck yes, like that. You’re so beautiful, and I’ve thought about this so many times…” I loosened my grip of her hair further and she moved her hand and head faster, making my lower body tingle and clench and burn. Oh fuck, I was close—did she really want it this way?

“You’re gonna make me come in your mouth…are you sure?” In answer, she went even harder at me, moaning and sucking and jerking me with tight, hard pulls, keeping me deep inside her mouth. Oh God oh God oh God—fuck yes! I spanked her ass hard, left my hand there as my climax ripped through me and I came in her mouth, my cock throbbing hard, my breath escaping me in loud, strangled growls.

When it was over, she swallowed and straightened up to her knees, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Was it good?” she asked, all wide-eyed innocence and full, puffy lips.

“Uhng.” Yes, that’s what I said. Uhng.

She smiled slyly. “I hope so. I liked it. Maybe you’ll let me do it again sometime.”

“Maybe.” Grabbing her jaw with one hand, I pulled her face to mine. “You. Are. Very. Naughty.”

Her eyes gleamed with blue fire. “I was naughty, wasn’t I?”

I kissed her lips. “Yes.”

“It was your fault. Wearing that suit and coming to surprise me that way.” She buckled herself in while I did up my pants, and as we drove the short distance to the cabin, I kept looking at her legs…and her shoes.

It gave me an idea, something I’d always wanted to try but never had the nerve to attempt because of who I was. But Skylar was different.

She understood me.