Текст книги "Becoming a Jett Girl"
Автор книги: Meghan Quinn
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 21 страниц)
Chapter Thirty Seven
“Poison and Wine”
Jett
I paced my office as I tried to figure out how the hell my dad was able to put in a bid for Lot 17 before bids were even being accepted. I spent the afternoon wining and dining some boring-as-fuck city officials trying to find out more about the property that was consuming my life and, lo and behold, my dad’s name came up. Apparently, he’s been pulling some major strings with some higher-ups to get what he wanted. Fuckhead.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing his number, I pulled on my hair as I tried to figure out what my next move was. The phone only rang once before his maniacal voice answered.
“I’ve been expecting this phone call,” he said with a laugh. Smug bastard.
“You’re not going to get away with this. I will be sure of it. Lot 17 belongs to the kids, not some idiotic high rise that only benefits you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. As I see it and many other men I have been in touch with, they think of Lot 17 as a perfect place for my idea of an apartment building and gentlemen’s club where men go to conduct business.”
“You fuckhead,” I spat out, not so eloquently. It was one thing to mess with a property I had my eye on but it was another thing to mess with my club. A club that was used for Justice. “You really think you would be able to establish a club like mine? You know no one really likes you in this city, right? They only talk to you because you don’t care whose dick you have to suck to get ahead.”
“I see that you have been hanging around that trash of a girl lately, with the mouth that I am hearing.”
I knew my dad was trying to goad me by talking so poorly about Goldie and I knew I shouldn’t take the bait, but I couldn’t stop the rage that was coursing through my body.
“Watch it,” I gritted out.
That same raving laugh came through the phone as my dad realized he’d hit a sensitive subject.
“Never thought I would see the day that the playboy Jett Colby would be affected by a girl; it’s so very interesting and a pleasure for me to know. To know that my own flesh and blood has a weak spot.”
“I am not affected by her and Goldie is not up for discussion.”
“The hell she isn’t. What you fail to see, son, is she is the puzzle piece I have been waiting for, the little pawn I will have to hold over your head one day. As much as you choose to deny it, you care about her and, thankfully, I can use that to my advantage. So, mess with my business and I mess with your precious little Goldie. The property will be mine, so I would just back out now because you are in way over your head. You might have a lot of pull with top-notch people around this city, but I know people who would wipe that smug smirk off your face.”
“Goldie has nothing to do with this.”
“You’re right, she doesn’t, but the minute you showed an ounce of care toward her, you dragged her into this fight. So if she gets hurt, she only has you to thank for it. Leave Lot 17 alone, Jett. You might be able to bury the evidence of your friend’s crime, but you don’t have enough security to keep Goldie safe.”
I was about to scream at him when the line went dead. Not wanting to break my phone, I set it on my desk then picked up my chair and threw it against the wall, causing a picture to fall and break apart on the floor.
Did I really want to believe my dad when he said he could hurt Goldie? The only way he could is if he got in on the inside of my club and that was not possible, since I warned all security about keeping him out.
What really bothered me was why I cared so much. I cared about all the girls in the club, but why did I freak out every time my dad mentioned Goldie’s name?
Flashes of last night ran through my mind as I tried to calm myself. Her soft body pressed against mine, her luscious lips all over mine, the way she looked at me as if I was the only man in the world who could give her such pleasure.
Shit.
I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to push down the feelings that were boiling in my stomach. I didn’t allow women to get under my skin, but for some reason, I let Goldie. Fucking maneater. I let her kiss me, for fuck’s sake. Let her…I laughed to myself, I practically mauled her. She had nothing to do with it, it was all me.
When did I lose my self-control? I thought about yesterday and the way she looked in her yellow dress, the way the flower in her hair cut to my core, making me want to run my hands all over her body and make sure no other man even glanced at her. Fuck, I was losing it.
I turned on my TV to see how the night’s presentation was going and that was when I saw Goldie, giving a man a lap dance. I knew I said it was okay, but I didn’t like it. I tried not to think why it bothered me so much, but I knew it was because I wanted to claim her as mine. I wanted no one else to touch her, feel her, or even look at her.
“Christ,” I muttered as I poured myself a drink out of my crystal decanter. I took a deep breath and gathered myself. Goldie was nothing; she was just new. A new pussy to fuck and that was always exciting. I needed to get my head on straight because last night was a one-time thing.
Just out of curiosity, I looked down at the list of men that were attending the presentation tonight and the minute my eyes hit the name, Rex Titan, my head flew up to the TV where I zoomed in on Goldie.
“Motherfucker,” I blew out, as I saw Goldie with her back pressed against Rex Titan as she rode his lap. The look on her face seemed like she was enjoying every aspect of what she was doing and the way Rex bit down on his bottom lip was a sure indication that he was not only enjoying himself, but most likely was going to take a trip to a booth later.
I knew I needed to be concerned about why Rex was at the club, what were his intentions and who he was conducting business with but for the life of me, I couldn’t take my eyes of him and Goldie.
My chest tightened at the sight in front of me, of Goldie riding another man. Jealous rage burned through my bones as I finally turned off the TV and downed the rest of my drink. This was not the man I became after Natasha, my ex-fiancé, left me. The minute she chose Rex over me, she took my heart with her. I didn’t feel, I didn’t get jealous, I didn’t kiss women. I fucked them, controlled them and dominated them in the Bourbon Room and then sent them on their way. So why the fuck was I letting a little honey-haired girl get to me?
I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed the thin lines that started to form at the corner of my eyes. I wasn’t that man anymore, I told myself. I wasn’t the man that let women bury themselves deep into my soul because, the minute I let that happen, they took what they wanted and left, just like Natasha. That was why my contracts for the Jett Girls were so easy, no relationships, no love, just sex.
I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Kace.
Jett: Send Pepper up to the Bourbon Room.
Pulling my tie off, I thought how I didn’t need Goldie, I had four other pussies to choose from, well technically two, since I respected Tootse and Francy’s relationship. I was going to make sure I reverted back to the man that took what he wanted because I couldn’t get attached for many reasons and reason number one, as much as I hated to admit it, was so I could protect the girl who dug her nails into me. I had to protect Goldie from my dad and I had to protect myself from Goldie.
***
When I walked into the Bourbon Room, Pepper was standing naked, in the middle of the room, with her hands behind her back and her chest puffed out just like I wanted. As I walked toward her, I took in her body, her beautiful body but to my demise, there was something missing, a spark that ignited a fire in my bones. I ignored the lack of spark, even though a voice in the back of my head was screaming she wasn’t Goldie.
“You pleased me tonight, Pepper.”
“Thank you,” she replied as she looked straight ahead.
“Do you have something to say to me?” I asked, like always.
She nodded and met my eyes. “What are you doing Jett? You don’t want me up here, I’m not the one you want, the one you need.”
Even though she practically knocked the wind out of me with her comment, I held my composure together.
“Funny Pepper, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”
“You should have seen the look on her face, Jett. She was devastated.”
“She knows the rules,” I gritted out.
“Yeah, but do you? You led her on yesterday. What was she suppose to…”
“Enough,” I cut her off, as I ran my hands through my hair and paced the length of the room. “I don’t want to fucking hear this. Now, are you going to submit or not?” I was losing my cool and fast.
Pepper was silent for a moment as she waited for me to stop pacing and look up at her. I caught my appearance in one of the mirrors on the back wall and was disgusted with myself. My clothes were disheveled, my hair was a mess and my eyes were hollow.
“Do you want me to submit?”
No, I thought as I took in her body, but my mind was telling me I had to say yes. I had to take Pepper in order to get the thought of Goldie out of my head, even though deep down, all I wanted to do was go to her bedroom, wrap my arms around her and kiss her head until she fell asleep. Fucking maneater.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely, as I looked down at the ground.
I felt Pepper walk up to me and lift my head to look her in the eyes.
“I don’t believe you and I refuse to submit to you when your mind is thinking about someone else. I don’t need this room Jett, but Goldie does. She needs you, more than you will ever know.”
“I can’t give her what she wants…ever.”
Pepper shrugged her shoulders. “That’s not my problem.” She grabbed her robe, wrapped it around her body and walked out of the Bourbon Room, leaving me frustrated, anxious and beyond confused.
I couldn’t give Goldie what she wanted, as if I actually knew what she wanted. For a brief moment last night, I caught a glimpse of her yearning for something more, but she tamped it away quickly before I could fully freak the fuck out.
I hated to admit it but Kace warned me, the arrogant fuck. He told me Goldie wasn’t like Pepper and Babs and, fuck, was he right. Pepper and Babs lacked the emotional connection that normal women usually carried around when it came to sex. I hoped that Goldie was the same way, but by the way she looked at me last night and from what Pepper just told me, she was not lacking in emotional attachment at all. She had a full dose of it.
Fuck. I ran my hands through my unruly hair and tried to comprehend how to handle the situation I was in. By no means did I want Goldie to leave. No, I wanted her to stay more than anything, but how did I keep my distance? Especially when she was creeping slowly but surely under my skin.
My phone beeped as I walked back to my office irritated and ready to plow my fist through a wall. I took a look at my phone and read the text message that came in.
Rex Titan: Better get ready to lose everything…once again. You thought you could take her away from me, but little do you know, she has always belonged to me, just like Natasha.
How did he know it was Goldie? That was my first fucking question. Was she in contact with him while she lived under my roof? The thought of Goldie still being connected to Rex while sleeping with me had my pulse skyrocketing. Furious, irate, violent weren’t even good enough words to describe the way I was feeling.
I started typing out a response to the asshat, but then stopped myself. That was exactly what Rex wanted, for me to fly off the deep end. I had to make it seem like I didn’t care, even though there was a burning need running through my fist to punch Rex directly in the nut sac. My phone beeped again.
Rex Titan: Oh, and don’t bother with Lot 17, your dad and I have it covered. Not only will you lose Goldie, but you will lose your property as well. Let me know what it feels like to be the low man on the totem pole…again, dickhead.
I clenched my teeth as I refrained from tossing another piece of furniture across my room. Instead of responding, I put my phone down and headed for my shower. I needed to step away, take a deep breath, and figure out how the hell I was going to fix the cluster fuck that my life had turned into ever since Goldie entered it.
Chapter Thirty Eight
“Somebody That I Used To Know”
Goldie/Lo
The floor of the Toulouse Room was getting harder and harder as I continued to sit practically bare-assed on it, legs crossed with my head in my hands. It had been three long days of no Jett, countless lap dances, and the pain of my parent’s death anniversary hovering over my head.
Flashes of my parent’s lifeless bodies amongst the devastation from Hurricane Katrina kept running through my mind, making me feel ill for the better part of my days. The thoughts were not only affecting my ability to perform, but also my ability to just wake up in the morning. Luckily, my phone was programmed with five different alarms, so I didn’t miss anymore practices or workouts.
I found zero enjoyment lately in anything I did as I walked around the house aimlessly, feeling numb to the world. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t from Jett neglecting me; it was from my parent’s anniversary, but deep down, I knew it was a combination of things. A combination of no sex, no Jett, and no unconditional love that every girl needed, or at least I did.
Comfort, that was what I wanted and I knew I wasn’t going to get it through anyone, at least no one in the Lafayette Club. I thought about the meeting I was supposed to have with Rex today and the thought of his warm arms wrapped around my body; it had me thinking that maybe I could go just to see what he had to say, just to find comfort in an old friend.
I felt a warm presence kneel next to me, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t want to because, whoever it was, I didn’t want to talk to them. All the girls were back in their rooms, preparing for tonight, so that only left two people, Jett and Kace. Neither of whom I wanted to talk to because Kace was an ass ninety-five percent of the time when he was around me and Jett, well, he had turned completely cold since our date night.
It wasn’t a secret as to why he probably fled away from me. I pushed him too far, I must have because there was no other explanation as to why he would stop inviting me up to the Bourbon Room or stop sending me flowers and cards. He was a lost soul just like me, but instead of seeking comfort like I did, he distanced himself away from everyone and used sex as an outlet, not as a connection. I knew this going into my contract; I knew he couldn’t offer me what I would eventually end up wanting, but I couldn’t help it. He won my heart the minute I saw the way he took care of me and saved me from a bottomless abyss that was consuming my life.
“Lo,” the deep rasp of Kace’s voice brought me back to the present. I gradually looked up and met his eyes with mine. “Are you okay?”
A sob that I was holding back escaped my throat as I shook my head no and started to watch my tears fall to my lap. My emotions were running rampant as I tried to rein them in, but there was no hope. I was a lost cause.
“Come here,” Kace said, as he scooped me up in his arms and started walking toward the back stairs. I thought about protesting, but I didn’t have enough energy to do so. So I let the former boxing professional with hard eyes, but a soft heart, carry me up to my bedroom.
When he reached my room, he gently placed me on my bed and had me lean back on my pillow. He went into my bathroom and grabbed a warm, wet towel for my face. When he handed it to me, he sat down on my bed right next to me, consuming the air around us. He brushed my hair away from my face as he looked at me with concern.
“What’s going on, Lo? You haven’t been your normal self lately.”
I pressed the warm towel against my face as I brought my legs into my chest, not caring what kind of body part I might be showing off in my miniscule underwear.
“You’re just going to tell me I told you so.”
“Try me,” Kace said, as he gripped my foot and squeezed it, warming my body with the gentle connection of a human’s touch.
“It’s my parent’s death anniversary,” I said softly, almost too softly, so that I was nervous that Kace didn’t hear me.
The bed dipped as Kace reached over, grabbed my body and set me on his lap. I buried my head in his neck and cried as he rubbed my back and calmed me with soothing tones.
“And he hasn’t talked to me since the other night. I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want me anymore. What did I do that was so wrong? Is it because I care about him?”
Kace shook his head as he held me tighter. “He has problems, Lo. Problems that you will never be able to fix, but you’re the first girl I’ve seen get under his skin in a long time and seeing it from the outside, I would bet my two balls that you scared the shit out of him. He’s pushing you away because you got too close.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I hiccupped, as I tried to steady my ragged breathing.
“No, it doesn’t, but he’s not going to change…not even for someone who has shown him how his life could be, someone like you. He will always want a contract and he will always keep pushing you away.”
Kace’s word struck deeper than I thought. I was in denial most of the time about Jett’s feelings so when he told me the cold hard truth, it stung, it fucking stung bad.
“I can’t go on tonight, Kace.”
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to.”
Shocked about how he didn’t put up a fight, I looked up at him and said, “You’re not going to kick me out on the streets for missing a presentation?” The corner of his mouth twitched as I asked about his ongoing empty threat.
Kace brought his hand up to my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb as she shook his head no. “No, you deserve a night off. I can stay with you if you would like, if you want the company.”
“Thank you, but I’m going to go visit my parent’s grave. I’ll feel better if I do.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
I didn’t understand why Kace was being so nice, but if I was to be honest, it was freaking me the fuck out. He was a moody cockhead and the fact that he was not only putting my well-being before anything else right now and touching me as if I was a porcelain doll, made me feel a plethora of mixed emotions…emotions that were not welcomed right now.
“Thanks, but I think I should just go by myself. I think I would feel self-conscious if you went, since I talk to them out loud like a crazy.”
“Well, if you need anything, let me know.” Kace placed me back on the bed and stepped away. He looked down at me and pulled on the back of his neck as he studied me. If only I could go in his head for a couple of minutes, just to see what he was thinking, I would be able to figure out the man much better.
“Are you going to stay?” The sadness in Kace’s voice as he asked me as the question surprised me, as if he would actually be sad if I left.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I don’t know if I can stay here if he keeps inviting up every other girl except for me. I know…his rules, his house, but a part of me feels so incredibly connected to him, like we were two souls drifting and finally found each other. I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t help it. He’s captured me and not being able to see him, hear him or touch him while I live under his roof is just torture. I don’t think I can live like that.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“Not sure,” I said, as I shrugged my shoulders, “But I have to figure something out soon because I can’t continue the way I’ve been living.”
I got off my bed and went to my closet and turned around to face Kace. “I’ll be home later tonight.”
He just nodded as I headed off to get changed, not even questioning me.
***
I traced the letters on my parents’ gravestone in the Lafayette Cemetery as tears streamed down my face. Tourists walked past me, which reminded me why I hated the fact that my family’s vault was in the ever-popular cemetery. A tour guide walked past me as she talked about how there were over 500 vaults in the cemetery as tourists took picture of the above ground cemetery, which was fascinating, I would give them that, but when it came to the only place I could sit and talk to my parents, it was frustrating.
I wished for privacy, I wished for the opportunity to talk to my parents without being interrupted every two seconds by a tourist exclaiming they found a gravestone form the 1800’s, as if it was a scavenger hunt. If I was wishing for things, then I might as well wish for my parents to still be with me, rather than their souls at the gravestone and their ashes scattered across the Mississippi river.
“I miss you guys,” I mumbled to myself as I scooted closer on the ground and continued to run my fingers over their carving. “I don’t know…”
“Hello.”
A screech escaped my mouth as my hands flew to my heart from being startled. Quickly I wiped my tears away and looked up to see Jett staring down at me. The sun was behind him so I could only see the outline of his body, but I would know that frame and that voice anywhere.
“What are you doing here?” I said snidely, as I gathered my legs in my arms. “Stalk much?”
“You were crying.”
“Wow, did you pay a lot of money for that detective degree?”
He ignored my sarcasm and asked, “Why were you crying?”
“Why do you care? Just get out of here, you found me…congratulations, you can win stalker of the year now. Kace gave me the night off.”
“Why were you crying, Goldie?”
The way he said my name, with such concern, broke the microscopic thread I was hanging on to. Tears streamed down my face as I buried my head in my knees and wished for Jett to leave. I didn’t want him to see me like this, completely and utterly weak. I prided myself on being able to be strong and stick up for myself and the fact that he was seeing me at such a broken moment in my life, made me feel extremely self-conscious.
A warm arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into a comforting embrace. I gave in to his gesture for a second before I pulled away and scooted closer to my parents’ gravestone.
“Don’t,” I commanded as I held up my hand. “Don’t act like you care when I know you don’t.”
“That’s not true…”
“Isn’t it? When was the last time you even thought about talking to me? You got what you wanted, you fucked me, worked my pussy like your own damn toy and then you pushed me aside. So don’t come over here and pity me; I don’t need your fucking pity.”
“I never promised you anything, Goldie.”
“I know,” I practically shouted, “I know you didn’t, but damn it Jett, you sure didn’t make it easy on a girl when you were sending me flowers, notes, and acting as if I was God’s gift to earth.”
Jett sat there speechless next to me as his pupils moved back and forth, observing mine, looking for answers. How could a man so smart, so powerful and so commanding be so incredibly dumb?
“Let me ask you this one thing.” Jett nodded, so I continued, “Why me, Jett? Why did you pick me?”
Running a hand through his hair, Jett exhaled loudly as he leaned against a wrought iron fence that encased a giant mausoleum. As he sat next to me, I couldn’t help but soak in every last inch of him, from his pressed jeans to his simple black shirt to his perfectly styled hair. His jaw ticked as he thought about his answer and the image of my tongue running across his jaw ran through my head. I was hopeless.
“The first time I ever saw you, I was visiting my mom, just like you’re visiting your parents today.” Jett cleared his throat and said, “My mom’s family is on the east side of the cemetery. I like to come visit her often, just like you visit your parents. One day, I was coming to visit my mom after a rough day and you were sitting in front of her stone, drawing it.”
A gasp escaped my mouth as I knew exactly what stone he was talking about; it was my favorite. The one I had more drawings of than any other sketch in my collection.
“I was going to ask you what the hell you were doing, but when I saw you were wearing ear buds and completely lost in your drawing, I decided to observe you instead. I couldn’t get over the fact that your hair looked soft as silk or the way you tilted your head slightly to the side and bit your bottom lip as you tried to caress your paper with just the right shadowing. When you got up, I followed you to your next stop, and that’s when you stopped here and started talking to your parents about your life and the trouble you were going through. At that moment, I knew my mom brought you to me to help, to save.”
My heart was pounding rapidly as I tried to take in everything that Jett was saying to me, but it was all too much to think about. He believed his mom brought us together? His mom’s grave was my favorite in the cemetery? To say I was creeped the fuck out was an understatement.
I didn’t get him. At this moment, his eyes spoke to me and cared for me, but what about the last couple of days? I was used to Kace being hot and cold with me, but when it came to Jett, I couldn’t handle his emotional mood swings because I cared too damn much when he looked at me with those soulful eyes…those eyes that made me promises the owner couldn’t keep.
Shaking my head and getting up off the ground, I started to walk backwards to put distance between me and him. Coincidences I believed in, but outright fate? I had a harder time with that.
“Where are you going?” Jett asked, as he walked toward me.
“Don’t touch me,” I flailed my arms, trying to block off any form of him holding onto me like a lunatic. “I can’t be here right now. I can’t listen to you talk to me as if the last couple of days haven’t been torture, as if you actually care about me.”
“I do care about you…”
My head snapped up to look at him. “No, you don’t. If you cared about me, you never would have dropped me like you did. You never would have made me feel like a cheap whore that you were tired of. I have been paid for sex many times, but never once did I ever feel cheap and used. But, after you refused to even be near me the past couple of days, you made me feel like a used slut that you were too good to be with.”
“That was not my intention.”
“Then what was?” I asked, as my chest heaved from being too worked up.
Jett opened his mouth to answer, but then shut it as he was racking his brain to figure out what to say. Too little too late, I thought, as I huffed and stormed off. In the far distance, I could hear him call my name, but I didn’t listen. I just continued forward; I had a date to make.
