Текст книги "Forever a Jett Girl "

Автор книги: Meghan Quinn

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

22

“Jealous”

Jett

A lone trumpet played in the far distance as I sipped my café au lait and observed the many tourists lining up to get a taste of Café du Monde’s beignets. It’s been a long time since I’ve been down to the quarter for my Saturday ritual. Things have been hectic, to say the least, and I wasn’t about to visit the Quarter while I was still with Goldie if she couldn’t come with me.

Goldie.

My heart still ached from the thought of her. It took me a couple of phone calls, but I was able to track her down. I should have known she would have gone to stay with Diego; they’d had a close connection ever since she went to go help him out with painting his club. I just prayed she wasn’t working there with him as well. She had plenty of money from being a Jett Girl to keep her afloat. I wondered if she’d used any of it. I was tempted to look at the bank account I set up for her, but knew that was an invasion of privacy, and the last thing I wanted was to piss her off more.

She was mad. Really mad. I didn’t blame her. She was right about everything she said. I didn’t trust her, I didn’t believe in her, and I had zero faith. I didn’t blame her for leaving; I deserved it. I was a master at pushing people away, and I’d done a damn fine job of kicking her out of my life.

But I was over and done with that now. I knew what I wanted. I wanted a life with Goldie; I wanted everything. I wanted her to be mine, to share a home with her, not just as a Jett Girl, but as my girlfriend…as my wife one day. I wanted her to carry my child one day. I wanted nothing more than to grow old with her in my arms.

The only problem was, she wanted nothing to do with me, but that would be changing.

A Vietnamese woman who worked at the café took my money and smiled gently at me, as if to wish me a good day. Her smile carried me out onto the streets, as I observed the bustling sidewalks of Jackson Square.

My life was coming full circle, as I walked the same route I took when I first dropped my business card off to Goldie. It was a risky move, getting as close to her as I did, but there was no stopping me then, like there was no stopping me now. I was on a mission, and hell if I wouldn’t follow through with it.

I placed my sunglasses over my eyes, rolled up the sleeves to the button-up light blue shirt I was wearing, and made sure it was tucked into my jeans. Even though it was a casual day for me, I still made sure to present myself well in public; it was the one thing I learned from my father that I would never forget. Image is everything, especially when it comes to someone in my position.

Leisurely, I walked around Jackson square, taking in all the palm readers, side show acts, musicians, and artists. One of the many beauties of New Orleans was you could be as weird and outlandish as you wanted, and no one was going to judge you for it, because they all chalked it up to the atmosphere the city had to offer. Some people may say New York City is full of crazy eclectic people, but that just tells me they’ve never been to New Orleans, because where else would you find a man painted in gold, a shopping cart turned musical instrument, and break dancing on cardboard? Only New Orleans.

Crowds gathered around someone who was balancing a bowling ball on their nose, a challenging feat for sure, when I spotted a wave of perfectly golden hair flying in the wind.

My Little One.

Even though it’s only been a few short weeks since I’ve seen her, it still felt like it’s been months. I missed everything about her. The way she smiled at me through her eyelashes and the little stolen moments where she glanced in my direction to convey how much she really wanted me. I missed her sweet touches, the way my name sounded rolling off her tongue, and the sassy mouth she never seemed to know how to turn off. Fuck, I needed her in my life, desperately.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and started making my way toward her. Like I thought, she was once again selling her beautiful art in Jackson Square. I took in the chalk-covered canvases that hung on the wrought iron fence that surrounded the square. They were impeccable, like always, but seemed almost darker, not as whimsical as I was used to her art being. I wondered if I did that to her, if the edge that was in her art now was because of me.

There was only one way to find out.

Her back was to me, so she didn’t see me approaching, giving me more of an opportunity to take her in. Her hair flowed out from under a sun hat and her shoulders were exposed from a red and white tank top she was wearing. Her legs sprouted out from a pair of short denim shorts and a white pair of Keds graced her perfect little feet.

My hand grazed my jaw as I took in everything about her. How could I have been such a damn fool to give up something so good?

Not wanting to wait any longer, I made the rest of my way toward her, just as a bulky man with blond hair sidled up next to her in a spare lawn chair and handed her a drink, while kissing her on the cheek at the same time.

I froze in my tracks at the display of affection from another man. Sweat started to creep down my back as rage boiled inside of me. Did she really find someone else that easily? Was I that forgettable?

I tried to convince myself I wasn’t, but then again, I hurt her, I was the one who drove her away. If she found someone else, maybe she was really trying to move on from the hell I put her through.

Looking back at our relationship, I’m now realizing there weren’t many moments where we weren’t struggling against something trying to hold us back. There was always something between us; it had never been an easy relationship for us. If it wasn’t my insane stupidity of stubbornness, it was my dad.

Instead of going up to her, I stood back and observed her interaction with the new man. She laughed easily with him as they pointed at something in the far distance, probably where the man just came from. Goldie took a sip of the drink she held in her hand, and then handed it over to the stranger. With disgust, I watched him wrap his lips around the same straw Goldie used and take a drink.

The urge to punch my hand through a wall overcame me as I continued to twitch with anger at what was unfolding right in front of me. She was with someone else. It was obvious from the affectionate looks they were giving each other, the shared drink they were sipping from, and the easygoing camaraderie they shared.

Turning around, I ran my hand through my hair and tried to figure out what I should do. I couldn’t possibly go up to Goldie now and talk to her about my plans, about what I wanted for our future, not in front of Mr. No Neck.

Fuck.

Looking over my shoulder, I eyed them once more, seeing how easily they talked, how the air between them seemed so relaxed, without worry. I hated it, I hated him.

What the hell was I supposed to do? I wasn’t expecting another man to be in the picture, to rip my heart out in one smooth movement in front of the tourist mecca of New Orleans.

A sharp pain radiated through my chest as I tried to catch my breath. It couldn’t end like this, could it? Was life really this unfair? I didn’t believe in happily ever afters, since I’ve never once seen one in my life, but I did believe in luck, and Goldie landing in my hands, in my club, in my life, that was pure luck, making me the luckiest bastard in the world.

That was until I blew it all with my stubborn pride.

That was the bane of my existence, my pride. It ate me up and turned me into a man I hated, a man who didn’t take chances because he was too damn scared to venture out of the protective shell he made for himself.

I didn’t want to be that man anymore. I didn’t want to sit around, trying to protect my heart so I never got hurt again. No, I wanted to make a change in my life. I wanted to be fucking happy, for once in my life. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a woman, the woman of my dreams, wake up next to me every morning. I needed this girl; she was the key to my happiness, and hell if I was going to let my pride get in the way once more.

Taking a deep breath, I turned back around and faced Goldie and the mystery man. Making sure my shirt wasn’t askew, I ran my hands down it and adjusted my belt, making sure it was facing forward. Feeling put together, I walked up to Goldie with my mind set on one thing and one thing only, getting her back.

“Hello, Goldie,” I spoke with sincerity. Slowly, I took off my sunglasses and looked down at the shocked look on that gorgeous face of hers.

Her legs that were once propped up on the fence flew to the ground as she sat up and adjusted the hat on the top of her head.

Clearing her throat and scanning me up and down, she said, “Um, Jett. Hi.”

Her voice was sweet, but confused; it was so damn adorable, I just wanted to grab her by the waist and take her against the damn fence.

“Your artwork is extraordinary, as usual,” I complimented.

“Thank you,” she said, while looking down at her exposed thighs. Thighs I wanted to spread as wide as they would fucking go so I could bury myself deep inside of her, the only place I’ve ever felt completely at peace.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

“Who’s your friend?” I asked, while nodding at the man who started sizing me up the moment I walked up to Goldie.

Once I addressed him, he took off his sunglasses, and that was when I recognized him.

Blane Wilson.

Blane went to school with Kace and me at one point. He was a good man, but had gotten in some deep shit.

Why the hell was he hanging out with Goldie?

“Blane?” I asked.

“Jett Colby,” he stood up and put out his hand. “Damn, you look good, man. Never thought I would see you grow into those lanky tennis arms of yours.”

“I see you’re still using the steroids,” I joked. Blane was always more developed than anyone we knew. The man was a walking piece of muscle.

Blane nodded his head and smiled, while sizing me up once again. “What can we do you for?”

We? Were they really a we? I glanced over at Goldie, who had her head down, avoiding all eye contact with me. My heart sank at the thought of Goldie moving on. How did I address her now, with Blane at her side, clearly in protection mode? I could hold my own when it came to a fight, easily, thanks to Kace’s training, but I couldn’t make up for the thirty pounds of muscle Blane had over me.

Trying not to look fazed, I squatted down next to Goldie and lifted her chin slightly, so she had to look me in the eyes. I ignored the glare that was coming from Blane and spoke softly.

“Goldie, can I please talk to you, in private?”

“What you say to her can be said in front of me, Jett,” Blane warned, all friendliness escaping his voice.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened, and looked Blane in the eyes.

“Blane, I think you’re a good man who’s made some poor decisions. I can see you’re trying to make a better life for yourself, so I would avoid another bad decision…like standing in my way of Goldie, and move on.”

“Funny that you think you can just come back here and act like you didn’t break her heart,” Blane said, as he drew closer to me.

“I’m afraid what transpired between Goldie and me is none of your business,” I answered back, while I stepped forward, ready for what Blane had in store for me.

Moving in closer, Blane responded, “It is my business when…”

“Stop!” Goldie said, while jumping between us and placing her small hands on both of our chests to separate us. It was almost comical to see her try to put herself between Blane and me. She turned to Blane and said, “I can handle this, Blane. Please, watch my paintings for me.”

“You sure?” Blane asked, as he picked up Goldie’s hand and brought it to his mouth.

Right then and there, I wanted to bury my fist in his mouth. I wanted to crack every perfect white tooth of his. I wanted to make the man bleed, and I wasn’t a violent person, but do not touch my girl…ever!

“Positive, thank you.”

I watched in horror as Goldie stood on her toes and placed a kiss on Blane’s cheek. I felt like I was going to lose everything that had built up over the past few weeks. All the pent up angst, the need for her, the urge to take her the way I wanted…it was all about to come crashing down with that little display of affection.

I felt cold, numb, like I was nothing but an empty void.

Slowly, I watched as Goldie stepped away from him and then turned toward me. With a nod of her head toward the stairs that led into the greens of the square, I followed her with a dejected demeanor, a fucking broken heart, as I realized this was going to be my last attempt to try to win her back.

Leaning up against a stone wall, she looked up at me and said, “What do you want, Jett?”

“Are you with him?” I asked, needing to know, needing to end the misery I was going through.

“Excuse me? I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she said defiantly.

“It is my business,” I closed in on her, needing to be closer. “Tell me, are you with him?”

“And, if I was?” she lifted her chin.

If she was? What the fuck would I do? Probably lose my damn mind and go ape shit crazy on the man’s ass, but she didn’t need to know that.

“That’s something I will deal with if it’s true. So, are you with him?”

She bit on her bottom lip as she looked to the side and nodded her head yes.

Every bone in my body melted from the confirmation. I felt like my heart burst in my chest, and not in a good way. She was with someone else.

“I see,” I said, as I cleared my throat and took a step back. “The least you could have done was to have the dignity to look me in the eye when you say you’re with him.”

Her head dropped, and all I could see was the sun hat that was blocking my view of her gorgeous face.

“Goldie, look at me.”

She shook her head no and turned her back toward me. Needing her to tell me to my face she was with Blane, I gently turned her back around and lifted her chin. Tears fell from her eyes as she looked up at me. I thought I knew pain…that was until I saw Goldie cry.

The need to wrap her up in my arms and make everything better overtook my body as I tried to pull her into my chest, but her hands stopped me.

“Don’t,” she said between tear-soaked breaths.

“Goldie…” I said softly. “Please, talk to me. Why are you crying? Is he hurting you?”

“No!” her head snapped up. “You’re hurting me, Jett. You’re the one making me cry, not him.”

The memories I have of Goldie are happy ones, sexy ones, heartfelt ones. The Goldie standing in front of me was not a Goldie I knew. She was angry, upset, and mad. I’ve seen her mad at me before, but not like this, as if she’d lost the spark in her eyes.

I was at a loss. I had no clue how to handle this, how to talk to her without sounding like a tool, but I could feel her slipping away with each passing second. I had to do something. I had to throw myself out there.

“I’m sorry,” I said, while trying to take her hand, but she denied me that as well.

“Is that all?” she asked, as she wiped a tear from under her eye right before she crossed her arms over her chest.

“No, I want to talk to you.”

“Talk then,” she said, while gesturing to me.

I ran my hand through my hair and put myself out there.

“I came here to ask you out.”

Her arms uncrossed as she stared at me with the most adorable perplexed face.

“What did you say?”

My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I said, “I wanted to ask you out on a date. Just you and me.”

I could see a bit of her eyes start to light up again at my question, which gave me hope…hope that was threatened to be ripped right out from under me with one little word from her.

“Why would you want to ask me out?”

She wasn’t going to make this fucking easy at all. I wasn’t one to show my feelings, to make them known, especially in a public place, so I was struggling to find the right words, but knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t ever see her again, simple as that.

“Goldie, I’ve been a bastard. I’ve treated you with disrespect and acted like a fool full of jealousy. I didn’t give you a chance to prove your ability to take care of us, and I’m forever regretful about that. I know I can’t change the past, but I can start a new future. I want another chance, I want to be able to treat you like you’re supposed to be treated. I want a life with you, but I know I have to prove it to you first.”

“That’s right you have to prove it to me,” she snapped at me, while pushing my chest with her finger. A small smile threatened to cross my face, but I held my features together so I didn’t piss her off any more. “It’s so infuriating how you can just walk in to my life again and disrupt everything. It’s not fair. I should be able to have you come up to me and not start sweating or have to clench my thighs together because my damn pussy can smell your dick from a mile away. I mean, damn it, Jett, you have no right showing up here. I’m doing fine without you,” she ranted, and then said softly, “I’m doing fine.”

Stepping closer, I asked, “Are you sure you’re doing fine?”

Her blue eyes glistened up at me as tears threatened to fall over once again. She nodded slowly, but closed her eyes shut, not being able to lie to me. I knew she was lying; it was written all over her face.

“Don’t lie to me, Goldie.”

“What do you care? You have everything you ever wanted. Now that Lot 17 is your property and your dad is headed for the slammer, what else do you need? What else do you really want? It’s not like you’re ready to open up that cold heart of yours.”

Ouch, but I deserved that.

“That’s exactly what I want, Goldie. I want to start from the beginning with you. I want to learn who you are, date you, and spoil you. I want to do this right; I want to do us right.”

“There is no us, Jett,” she tried to push away, but I didn’t let her go far.

“Then, why are you so upset?” I asked, hoping I would strike a nerve. By the look in her eyes, I did.

“Why am I so upset? Hmm, let me see…”

Oh shit, sarcasm at its best was coming my way.

“You insert yourself into my life, like literally don’t give me an option other than to follow your rules and do what you ask, because, heaven forbid if your voice isn’t sexy as hell. Then you take me up to your stupid Bourbon Room, where you fucking show me what sex is, what it feels like to have a real man bury himself inside of me. You show me a whole new world of sex…and damn it if I don’t love and hate you for it. Then I go and get attached to you, because you’re this brilliantly sexy man who is oh-so-fucking sensitive and just ‘needs time’,” she continued, as she used air quotes. “Which is just fucking fantastic, because by then, I’m already attached, I’m already in deep, so thanks for that. And when I finally think we’re going somewhere and you’re taking me to events, you decide to hide me instead, increasing the craving I have for you. And then, do you know what happened, Jettonathan?” she asked, with her hands on her hips, using the stupid ass name she came up with for me. I’m about to answer when she holds her hand up to stop me. “No, I don’t want to hear it; I’ll tell you what happened. I went and tried to make everything better, just asking for one simple thing from you. To have faith in me like I had in you, but holy shit was that too hard for you, because the powerful man needs his control,” she waved her hands around like a lunatic as she spoke to me. “Heaven forbid the male debutant with the penis of a Greek god doesn’t have control for a short period of time. Fuck, Jett, you ruined everything! You ask why I’m upset? Because, since my parents passed, you’ve taken the one and only thing I’ve ever cared about. You took away your heart.”

What was I supposed to say to that? She was right, everything she said was absolutely right.

Instead of arguing and being the stubborn man I usually was, I nodded my head and said, “I know; I fucked up.”

Shock registered across her face as she swallowed my words with her rant.

“Oh, so you agree?” she asked, while she scrunched her nose.

“Completely.”

“Well,” she looked around and then patted her shorts. “I don’t really know what to say now. I wasn’t expecting you to agree.”

“Do you not want me to agree so you can keep arguing?” I asked with a smile that I knew would hit her hard.

“Oh, no, don’t, you can’t do that,” she said, while shaking her finger at my face.

“Do what?” I smiled again, inching closer to her.

“You know what, that whole charming male dominant thing. I will not fall for it.”

“You sure?” I asked, as I moved inches away from her and rested my hands on her hips.

“Yes, I’m positive,” she sucked in a deep breath at my proximity. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Trying to remove that crinkle between your eyes.”

“Blane will see you,” she said quickly, trying to deter me.

“Like I give a fuck about Blane; don’t bullshit me, you’re not seeing him.” I took a shot, hoping I was right. I didn’t believe she was seeing Blane by the mere fact of how she reacted to me, to our situation.

Looking away, she whispered she was, but I didn’t bite; she was lying.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re with another man. Look at me Goldie.”

Sighing, she turned her head and stared me in the eyes.

“Tell me you’re with him,” I repeated.

She bit her bottom lip as her eyes searched mine. With a frustrated grunt, she pushed away from me and started pacing the little section of the garden we were in.

“Ugh, you’re so infuriating. Of course I’m not seeing him. You happy?”

“Very,” I smirked.

“I hate you,” she spat back, while she looked at me with fury.

“No, you don’t,” I smiled back.

Shaking her head at me, she sat down on the half wall and brought her knees up to her chest.

“What do you want from me?”

“You know what I want,” I said, as I took a seat next to her. “I want to date you. I want to start fresh with you. Treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Because you want sex…” she said, while she buried her head in her knees.

“No,” I said softly, as I moved my head down to her ear. “Not because I want sex, because I want you, Goldie; I want your heart, your smart mouth, your defiance, I want everything.”

“I hate that I want the same thing,” she admitted. “I want to hate you, I want you to leave me alone, but I know that won’t fix the numbing ache in my heart. Why does this have to be so hard?”

“The best things in life are hard, Little One,” I replied.

Silence fell between us while I gave her time to think about my proposal. I didn’t want to pressure her, but damn it if I didn’t want to wrap her up in my arms right then and there.

There were moments in my life when I sat back and assessed the decisions I made. Proposing to Natasha was a huge mistake, one that I would regret because the emotional abuse she put me through has set me back in my current relationship…well, the one I used to have with Goldie. Asking Goldie to be a Jett Girl, smartest decision I’ve ever made, because I found a mirror image of myself in her. I found my counterpart.

Interrupting my thoughts, she finally spoke up. “I won’t live with you.”

“What?” I asked, as my head snapped to the side. “That’s non-negotiable. Do you really think you’re going to live with Diego? He’s a horny bastard, no way.”

Goldie put her feet on the ground and stood up right in front of me so I had to look up at her. She pushed my shoulder with her two little fingers and said, “Do you know what’s non-negotiable? My requirements if this is going to happen,” she said, while waving her hand between us.

I ground my teeth as I felt the control starting to slip away, once again. It was always like that with Goldie; I never truly had a firm grasp on it.

“Don’t tick your jaw at me; I can see it throbbing with uncertainty.” She poked the side of my jaw as she spoke. I couldn’t help but smile at how tough she was trying to be. “Ugh, and don’t smirk either, that’s more irritating.”

“Sorry,” I chuckled. “What are your requirements?”

She thought about it for a second, and then said, “I get to stay with Diego. No sex…”

“No sex,” I gulped, trying not to look desperate.

“That’s right, Mr. Demonic Devil in the bedroom, no sex.”

“Demonic Devil?” I asked with a quirked eyebrow that she quickly rubbed out with her two fingers.

“Don’t give me that eyebrow; you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Swallowing hard, I said, “Fine, no sex.”

The smile that spread across her face was almost annoying, as if she didn’t look so damn adorable already. I hated succumbing to her, but damn, if she gave me that heart melting smile every time, then I would be giving up more often.

“You have to talk about your feelings, you have to open up to me, and you have to trust me. I’m not saying I forgive you or that this is going to work, but I’m willing to give it a try if you don’t act so closed off to me. I can’t be shut out of your life anymore; I refuse to be. If you want to be with me, then I am requiring that every last part of you to be with me, not just half.”

I knew that was coming, and I was willing to be what she wanted. I was willing to open up my wounds again for her because I knew with her by my side, I would heal once again.

“You want all of me, Little One? Then you’ll get it, but in good time. I promise you, you will get all of me.”

“Good,” she said, almost exasperated. “Um, I don’t have a phone, so call Diego to set up a date. Until then, take care.”

And with that, she walked away, leaving quite the fucking wake.