Текст книги "Take the Fall"

Автор книги: Marquita Valentine

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

Dear Seth,

I finally had sex with another guy. Did that get your attention? Actually, I didn’t because I’m a loyal person and only want to be with you. But it’s hard being loyal to a guy who won’t even write you back or call.

I hate this new side of you.

Love,

Rowan

“Fuck,” I breathe. I should have read these letters a long time ago. I would have seen the inside of the heart of a sixteen-year-old girl who’d just lost everything. I couldn’t even be bothered to call her on her fucking birthday.

For a long time, I stare at the letters. Then I start gathering them up. I know exactly what I need to do.

Chapter 16

Rowan

Bleary-eyed and half-awake from crying all night, I stare at Seth in complete shock. He’s standing on my front porch. There are dark circles under his eyes and he hasn’t shaved. This is not the look of a man who slept well. I’m torn between telling him to get the hell off my property and dragging him to my bed. I settle for interrogation.

“Why are you here? Haven’t you hurt me enough? Need to rub in how awesome living in Hawaii will be without me?” Way to be strong, Rowan.

Ignoring my questions, he holds up the letters. “Did you mean what you said in these?”

Everything. I meant everything. “You’re asking me this now, seven years later?”

He flushes. “I never read them before now.”

“What?” The pain at what he just admitted cuts through me. It’s like I’m reliving his rejection all over again.

“But I kept them. I took them to Afghanistan with me. They were my connection to home, to you. These letters and my tattoo, that’s all I had.”

His admission makes me go all soft and gooey on the inside, but I refuse to melt all over. I will be strong. I won’t let him in.

Then he pulls out another set of letters and holds them up. “I’ve stayed up for the last forty-eight hours writing to you. I haven’t slept. I’ve barely eaten because I had to answer them before I head back to base.”

My knees go weak. Stupid, weak knees. “I don’t want them.”

Seth smiles sadly. “I know you don’t, sweetheart. But I’m going to leave them right here”—he kneels, setting the letters on my doormat—“in case you get bored today.”

Tipping up my chin, I cross my arms over my chest. “I won’t get bored. I have a business to run.”

“Yeah, you do, and you’re a damn good businesswoman.”

“I don’t need you telling me what I already know.” But hearing that felt almost as good as being with you.

He blows out a breath. “I deserve that from you. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that you won’t have to deal with the uncertainty of what I’m doing with the shop, because I’m not going to sell it to you…or anyone else for that matter, but you have to read the letters to find out why.”

“Oh, goody—a mystery.”

He hooks his thumbs into the front pockets of his jeans. “Anyway, I’ll leave the letters. What you do with them or with the information you find in them is up to you.”

“So completely nice of you.” I refuse to look at the letters. Or allow myself to even guess what he could have written. I keep my gaze trained on him, making myself hard. Uncaring. A complete stone statue, when inside I’m crumbling to pieces, the fractures he caused so long ago giving in under the weight of the pain I feel right now.

Seth is leaving me. Again. Only this time…I’m not so understanding. I’m not so sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Rowan.” His voice cracks. “So damn sorry I hurt you.”

I shut the door without answering him.

After thirty minutes, I peer through my blinds to check the driveway. It’s empty. I open the door and snatch the letters before anyone can catch me.

Bumping the door closed with my hip, I tear into the first letter.

Dear Rowan,

I remember the first time we met, in kindergarten. You punched me for not letting you swing first, and I fell in love. I never stopped.

While I was in prison, I felt betrayed by you, by Jase…by everyone. That wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Jase’s, either. I’d forgotten that. I needed someone else to blame…

Only, I had made the choice to take the fall with him and go to prison. Not you. Not him. Me. And I have to own that.

So this is me, owning my actions, and begging for your forgiveness.

Love,

Seth

P.S. I won’t be able to go to your senior prom because I’ll be in boot camp. Send me a picture of the dress you’re wearing, and remember to punch your date in the nose if he tries to mess with you. I bet you’ll be the sexiest woman there. On second thought, take Piper as your date.

Dear Rowan,

There isn’t anything you need to write for me to forgive you. Just keep writing. It gets lonely in here. Miss your face and your hot body.

Love,

Seth

Dear Rowan,

Happy birthday! I’m very sorry I couldn’t be there to help you blow out the candles, or eat my grandmother’s cake. Maybe you could bring me a piece the next time we have visiting day at Western.

Each day I get to go outside. Some guys stare through the fence, while others play basketball. Me, I write you back first—every time—then work out while giving everyone the evil eye.

I think it’s a good look.

Love,

Seth

Dear Rowan,

I had to rewrite this letter about seven times now. First, be careful. There aren’t many men in this world who will love and cherish you like you deserve. Second, if I’m being that big of a dickhead that you have to break up with me, then do it. It’s not fair, and when I see you having fun with other guys, I’ll most likely get my head on straight faster than you can give a good-night kiss.

Please wait for me, Rowan. But if you can’t, then know that, for me, you’ll always be the most wonderful, most precious gift I was given in this life. My life is complete when you’re in it, which is why it’s so hard to write to you now.

All it does is remind me of what I’m missing, but a real man would write you back. So that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

All my love,

Seth

I’m sobbing freely now, hiccuping so hard that I can barely read the last one.

Dear Rowan,

The papers you saw were dated with a pretty recent date, but it was because a clerical error was made. I opted not to re-up in the Marines awhile back. Before I came home to bury my grandmother. I decided six months ago to make things right with you, but I wanted to do it here, not over long distance.

However, fate had other plans for us and decided to throw us together a lot sooner. I never told you about Hawaii because it was a nonissue for me. I’d already refused. But seeing the way it devastated you, I wish I had talked to you about it. I’m truly sorry for causing you so much pain, Rowan.

Maybe you’ll let me make it up to you, or maybe you won’t. It’s your decision and I won’t push you any further.

There are two things you should know. One, I applied to UNC Charlotte for the fall semester. I’ll be using my GI Bill to pay for it. Two, I would like you to consider staying on at Gardner’s. My dream is to own it with you, which is why I’m majoring in business.

Think about it. Give yourself some time to consider if being with me makes sense. I know it does for me.

You’re my compass and all directions lead me straight to where I’m supposed to be. With you.

Love you forever,

Seth

By the time I’m done, I’m a blubbering mess. I’ve held on to my pride for so long that I don’t know how to let go. But it’s time I let go. Because I can’t lose Seth. He’s my everything.

I grab my coat, keys, and purse, then head to my car. Immediately, I drive like a bat out of hell the short distance to my brother’s house, hoping against hope he’s still there.

The lights are out when I pull in the drive. Parking the car, I unbuckle my seatbelt and shove open the car door, then run to the porch. I beat on the front door, calling Seth’s name, over and over. He doesn’t answer.

Jase yanks open the door. “What the hell is wrong?”

I shove past him, calling out Seth’s name.

“He’s not here.” Jase takes me by my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “He went back to Jacksonville.”

“Oh, God,” I sob.

“Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I don’t give a damn about prison time, I will cut his ass up and display his head in the front yard,” Jase snarls.

“No.” I shake my head. “No. In fact, he didn’t hurt me at all. He wrote the most beautiful, most romantic letters I’ve ever read.”

“That sounds painful,” Jase says with a grimace. “For him anyway.”

With a half sob and a laugh, I punch him. “I have to go get him.”

“Then go.”

Running back to my car, I slide back inside and throw it in reverse. I back out of the drive. Come hell or high water, I’m getting on that Marine base.

But as I drive past Gardner’s, I see a light on in one of the office windows and Seth’s truck parked out front. I cut off three cars as I cross two lanes of traffic to turn into the parking lot.

“Please don’t let me ruin this with my big mouth,” I mutter as I park the car and run inside. “I love him. God, I love him, and I don’t want to lose him again.”

Seth

I head back to Jacksonville, my heart heavy and my duffel bag lighter now that those letters are in her possession. I guess I expected a phone call or something by now, but it’s been hours and she still hasn’t texted me. I hung out all day at Jase’s until time ran out. I have to be on base at six tomorrow morning.

Though I don’t want to give up on us, I’ll concede defeat for now. Well, maybe not defeat—more like a setback. Yeah, I can overcome a setback.

“She just needs time,” I remind myself for the hundredth time. But I need her now. I’ve wasted seven years by staying away and don’t want to waste a second more.

As I drive by Gardner’s, I slow my truck down, torturing myself with one last look before I head out of town with the hopes of seeing Rowan’s car. A light shines from one of the office windows and I frown. There are no other cars in the parking lot.

“You’re not supposed to be on,” I mutter. Rowan’s pretty damn particular about stuff like that. Either someone forgot to switch it off, or someone is up to no good. No one is allowed to work on Sundays at Gardner’s. That’s been my grandparents’ rule for sixty years, and Rowan carried it on.

Parking my truck, I let my headlights shine inside, but I don’t see any movement. I get out, taking my key with me, but remain on high alert. One of Rowan’s charity cases could be double-crossing her right now and robbing Gardner’s blind.

The door opens behind me, and I whirl around, ready to fight off whoever’s been messing around in here.

With a sharp cry, Rowan launches herself at me, almost bowling me over as she wraps her arms around my neck. I forget all about the light in the back office. “I thought you’d left. Oh, God. Seth. I thought you left me again.”

“Are you okay?” I hold her in my arms tightly, never wanting to let her go. I don’t understand what’s going on. I thought for sure she’d be glad to have me out of her life.

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I read your letters, Seth. All of them.”

My heart slams against my chest, repeatedly. “And what did you think?”

“I don’t think.” She sniffs, and looks up at me. The pain in her beautiful blue eyes cuts through me. “Right now I don’t want to think at all.”

She slams her mouth against mine, ripping at my clothes. I help her, and for good measure, I pop the buttons off her jeans. She shimmies out of them, and then shoves my jeans down. A tug here, a rip there, and soon we’re both naked and breathing hard. She drops to her knees and takes my cock into her sexy mouth. I give a hoarse shout and slam my hands into the wall behind her. Every stroke, every lick of her tongue, has me on edge. She tugs at my balls, lightly scraping at them with her nails.

“You’re killing me, baby,” I growl.

Her response is to take me deeper. I let out a groan when I hit the back of her throat. Gazing down at her, I watch as her sexy mouth travels up and down the length of me. She releases my cock from her lips with a sexy little popping sound.

“Tell me what you thought of my letters,” I demand, lifting her up on the counter.

She spreads her thighs and pulls me closer. “They were beautiful. Perfect.”

I kneel on the floor and bury my face into her pussy. She’s dripping wet from sucking me off, and if that’s not an ego booster, I don’t know what is.

Rowan tugs at my hair. “I’m going to come.”

I jump to my feet and half pull her off the counter, sliding into her wet heat at the same time. “Holy fuck, baby.” I lean my forehead against her shoulder. “You feel so damn good.”

“Stop talking so much,” she says, wrapping her legs around my waist.

Like a machine, I start to move inside of her, relishing the feel of her hot walls clenching at me and trying to milk me. I search for Rowan’s lips, devouring her mouth as I slam into her. Her tight nipples scrape against me. My dog tags hit my chest each time I slide in balls deep.

She tightens around me and begins to chant my name. My orgasm rushes over me and I shove deep, emptying myself into her. I give her everything, holding nothing back as she moans the words I haven’t heard in seven years.

“I love you, Seth. Love you so much.”

“This mean you forgive me?” I ask.

She nods. “Yes.”

I glance at where we’re still joined, condom free. “This mean you’ll forgive me if I get you pregnant?”

Her eyes go wide and then a small smile plays on her lips. “I’m on the pill. We’re good, unless you have—”

“Nope.”

“Me, either. My brother raised me to be a safety-first type of woman.” She gives me a rueful look as I pull out of her. “Until you.”

“Same for me. He bought me my first pack of condoms.”

Rowan makes a face.

“They weren’t for us. I didn’t lose my virginity to you.”

“I lost mine to you,” she says and hops off the counter.

“So I get to be your first and your last.” I help clean up the mess we made.

“Maybe.”

I gather her close to me. “You have to make an honest man out of me.”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” she teases.

“For the love of God, would you please ask her to fucking marry you so I can get out of here,” Boyd shouts from his office.

Rowan bursts out laughing. “Sorry, Boyd. We’re dressed.”

“I’m never using that counter again.”

“I’ll clean it,” I tell him.

“Not enough bleach in this world to erase the two of you going at it from my brain.”

“Try,” Rowan shouts. “Three extra vacation days, if you never mention this to anyone.”

“Give me a week and you got a deal,” he counters.

“Let me ask the owner,” she says.

I shake my head. “I might be the owner, but you’re the one who’s in charge.”

She gives me the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. “Deal, Boyd.”

“Excellent, but Little Boss, I need you and Seth to get the hell out so I can leave with some dignity.”

“He’s so strange,” I say as we walk outside.

“I’m pretty sure he was changing his clothes in his office. He doesn’t follow the no-working-on-Sunday rule,” she says.

“What did you think about the whole marrying me comment?” I ask lightly.

Rowan wraps her arms around my neck and looks up at me. “Marriage might be for me. Always wanted a couple of dogs.”

“What about someone to help you take care of those dogs?”

She cocks her head to one side. “Can he take care of me, too?”

“Anything you want, baby.” I kiss her, right in the middle of the parking lot, as snow begins to fall. “Looks like I might get tomorrow off. I’ll have to call my commander.”

“Tell him I’ll be sure to keep you busy.”

We lace our hands together and walk home in the snow, leaving our cars and our past behind.

Chapter 17

Rowan

“Holy shit, that hurts,” I grumble at my brother.

“Stop being a pussy,” he says. “You wanted ink, so I’m inking your ass.”

“Not literally.”

“If you don’t sit still, I will literally ink your damn belly button.”

“Sorry.” I try to be as still as possible by concentrating on the ceiling above me. The whirring of the machine lulls me, until the needles start scraping at my skin, over and over.

“You don’t have to do this,” Seth whispers.

“She’d look pretty dumb with only the outline,” Jase points out. “No way in hell I’ll allow her to walk out of my shop like that.”

It only took me several weeks after Seth moved back home to decide what I wanted: a compass on my left side with the words All directions lead to you.

Seth slides his hand over mine, and I grip it tightly as my brother concentrates on my tattoo.

“About my car,” Seth begins and I glance over at him. Sweat dots my forehead.

“What about your truck?”

Seth gives me a pointed look. “You know I’m talking about Tony Johnson’s ride. The one you restored.”

“I bought that car fair and square,” I bite out. The needles have hit a particularly sensitive spot and it hurts like hell.

“Wasn’t yours to buy,” Jase says.

“Shut up and concentrate,” I snap.

The two of them laugh. “Assholes,” I growl.

“Oh, baby. I love it when you talk so sweet,” Seth says, brushing my hair back from my forehead. He wipes my brow with a damp cloth. God, it feels good. “Now, about that car.”

“You couldn’t handle that much power.”

Jase stops inking me. “Rowan, if you don’t give the man his car, I’ll tattoo Property of Seth O’Connor on your ass.”

“Like you could turn me over.” I lock my body into place and glare at him.

“She’s got a point, because, dude, I’d kill you if you touched her like that,” Seth says and I melt at his rough words.

“Besides, I’d like it better here.” He runs a hand across my collarbone. “Where everyone can see it.”

“Motherfu—”

Seth busts out laughing and I relax onto the table with a huff. “Men.”

“Seriously, Rowan. Just admit it’s mine. You don’t have to give it to me. I prefer my truck.”

Jase and I stare at him in horror. “You prefer a truck over that sweet ride?” Jase asks.

Seth shrugs. “What can I say? This is who I am.” He breaks out in song, singing a line from a country song that I don’t know.

“He’s turned into a redneck.”

“I think I’m going to puke.”

“I’m a country boy, not a redneck.”

I roll my eyes. The needles start back up again, but I’m beyond feeling those. I still can’t get over Seth’s admission. “You grew up in town. You live in town with me. Hell, Forrestville is practically a city. That makes you a city boy.”

He leans over me, framing my face in his hands. A tender smile covers his face. “No, that makes me yours.”

“Done,” Jase announces, and Seth kisses me briefly before sitting back down in his chair.

“Looks good, Ro,” Seth says, nodding his head. He rubs the side of his thumb along his bottom lip. “When can I touch that?”

Jase squirts some gel onto a clean piece of gauze and rubs it over my tattoo. The initial burn gives way to cool relief. “Never, but since when does Rowan listen to me?”

Sitting up, I punch Jase in the shoulder. “He meant the tattoo, you overbearing ass.”

“I know.” My brother winks at me. Lately, it seems like he’s getting his life back together. The tattoo shop is doing well and he’s quickly building a steady base of loyal clients. He’s gained some weight, though all of it is muscle.

I think being in prison made him work out even harder. Or maybe it’s his way to exorcise the demons he lives with.

“Give it a couple of days, keep an eye on it, and after you shower, pat it dry. If something goes wrong, like discoloration or swelling beyond that time, go to the ER. Call me, too. I use the best equipment but shit happens,” he says, grabbing his phone. “Mind if I take a pic for our wall?”

Seth glances around the room. “I really don’t like the thought of Rowan up there with—”

“Facebook wall and Instagram,” Jase replies.

I nod. “Go for it.”

After he’s done, I hop off the table and head to the front to pay my bill. “No charge,” Jase says as he takes off his gloves and throws them in a marked trash bin.

“You should at least let me pay—”

“I figure the next seven years are comp for you, but after that, it’s full price.” His blue eyes are bright. He glances at the counter and grimaces. “But you could help a brother out by recommending someone to manage this place. I need someone to work the front desk and do bookkeeping.”

Seth grabs my hand as I say, “I’ll think about it.” Piper needs a job. She would be perfect for Jase…for his shop. “In fact, I have someone in mind. Let me talk to them and I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks. Let whoever it is know that the hours are flexible.”

After saying good-bye, we walk outside. Seth stops me before we climb inside his truck. “I saw that look in your eyes. The answer is no.”

“But you always say yes to me.” I nip at his bottom lip. “Like last night when you—”

Seth grabs my shoulders. “I love you, but if you love Piper, you will not tell her about this job.”

“She needs one. Her parents have completely cut her off.”

“Rowan,” he says in that warning tone that I love.

“Trust me, okay? I might know what I’m doing.”

His expression softens and he pulls me into his arms. “I trust you. I love you, Rowan Patricia Simmons. You’re my life. You’re my everything. The sexiest damn compass that guides my life.”

“I love you, Seth.” Then I kiss him.