Текст книги "Intermix Nation "

Автор книги: M. Attardo

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

“Of course it does, Cato!” Nazirah snaps, at her wit’s end. “You think I actually believe for a second that the purebred dirtbag has changed? I don’t! But like I told you already, I have no idea what he and Niko agreed upon. Niko wouldn’t tell me. He wouldn’t even tell me anything when I gave him the signed contract. I haven’t slept or eaten in over a day, I’ve been to the damned Red West and back, and I’m tired!”

Cato is quiet, finally. Nazirah can tell he feels bad about badgering her. She is too annoyed to care. He slowly lies beside her on the bed. They stare at the ceiling in silence, close, but not touching.

With his bright hazel eyes and medium build, Cato looks more like Nazirah than Nikolaus does. People often assume they are related, especially non-Eridians, much to Cato’s annoyance and Nazirah’s amusement. He is tanner than she, from a lifetime of working on boats. Cato’s Eridian fish tattoo, exactly like Riva’s, suits him perfectly. Nazirah remembers when he first got marked at the town hall, on his thirteenth birthday, how proud he was. But he wore long sleeves for weeks, even though it was a brutally hot summer, so Nazirah wouldn’t feel like she was missing out.

“So what was he like?” Cato looks at Nazirah. Her eyes remain fixated on the ceiling. It is the question of the hour, of the year, of the century. It is the question she can’t answer, doesn’t know how to answer.

“He was … quiet.”

“Quiet?” repeats Cato, intrigued.

“No,” she backtracks. “Not quiet.”

“So … loud?”

“No.”

“Talkative?”

“No!” she says. “Observant.”

There; that’s better. Adamek Morgen was definitely observant.

“Observant?”

“Yes, and weirdly passive.”

“Weirdly passive?” asks Cato, perplexed. “Are you sure you actually met Adamek Morgen?”

“The whole thing was just so strange,” Nazirah continues, talking more to herself than to Cato. “He didn’t say much, but I felt like everything he said was deliberate … like he was testing me.”

“Testing you?” asks Cato, eyes narrowing. “What exactly did he say?”

“Nothing important.”

She doesn’t know why she keeps the truth from Cato – that Adamek intentionally provoked her by mentioning Riva. She feels like a coward, ashamed for pulling her hand away. Cato knows her well enough to realize that she’s hiding something, but doesn’t press the issue.

“By the way,” he says, “I covered for you yesterday with the bear.”

“I know,” Nazirah says. “I ran into Ani and she told me.”

“If you’re going to keep missing classes,” Cato jokes, “you could warn me so I can come up with some better cover stories. The one yesterday was not good.”

“Was I sick?”

“No, but your goldfish was.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“You couldn’t think of anything better than that?”

“You know I don’t like being put on the spot!”

“Well,” Nazirah says, “luckily for you, Niko had a talk with me about that yesterday. You were right. I have to start going to class more, or else he is seriously going to maim me in my sleep.”

Cato whistles. “He was really scoring major points with you last night, wasn’t he?”

“You have no idea.”

“If you’re planning on showing up to class more,” Cato says, “you should know that we have a Territory History paper due Monday morning. History and culture of Zima … ten pages.”

Of course they do.

“Great,” she groans. “You know, I never thought we would get homework during recruit training. I get the combat class, but essays, really? It’s like we’re still in school.”

Nazirah gives Cato a crooked smile. He hesitates for a moment and then gently strokes her hair. Nazirah tenses, but lets him do it. Before this whole mess happened, they had slowly been growing closer. Growing into something that was almost, but not quite, more than friends.

Nazirah has never been especially interested in especially anyone. She knows Cato has feelings for her, but he is like her brother – closer than her brother. And, after her parents died, Nazirah has no desire to be with anyone at all. She has iced her heart, made it numb to the world and everyone in it, so that nothing could damage her again. If things were different, then maybe they could have been something. But the way she is now, Nazirah knows she would only wind up hurting Cato. It is yet another reason why she hates Adamek Morgen. Yet another thing he has stolen from her.

“I should probably go work on it, then,” she says.

Cato pulls his hand away, watching as Nazirah sits up, plants her feet on the floor, and rises from the bed. “Irri,” Cato begins, but Nazirah doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. She is being selfish, she knows, but she can’t handle anything else today.

“Thanks for the tip about the bear.” She lightly kisses his cheek. It’s not what he wants, but it’s what she can give.

“Sure,” Cato says. “Don’t be stranger.” He flashes Nazirah a smile so bright and warm it makes her frozen heart melt for him … just a little.

Chapter Five

Monday morning dawns too quickly, leaving Nazirah sleepy and restless. After exiting Cato’s room Saturday night, she passed out on her bed for the next sixteen hours, waking up midafternoon Sunday. She spent the rest of the day, and half the night, in the library at headquarters working on that damn history essay. It isn’t her best work by far, but it’s done and semilegible – and took her mind off Adamek Morgen.

Nazirah groggily checks the time and realizes she has slept through most of breakfast. If she doesn’t hurry up, she will be late for class. She drags her tired body out of bed, showers, and brushes her teeth. She dresses in a pair of black jeans and a shirt she finds in a pile on her bedroom floor, only slightly wrinkled.

So much for getting a fresh start.

Still half asleep, she towel dries her hair. Grabbing her bag, she stuffs her essay in.

Nazirah rushes downstairs to the mess hall, trying to score some breakfast in the five minutes before class. Frustrated as she is with Nikolaus, Nazirah did promise to try. And she always keeps her promises.

As she enters the mess hall, a group of rebels spot her and begin whispering amongst themselves. Nazirah chuckles as she walks over to the fruit basket, thinking they must really not be used to seeing her in the morning. Nazirah picks up a mealy looking apple, inspecting it for a moment before realizing that the room has become eerily quiet. Completely silent, in fact.

Apple in hand, Nazirah turns around, looking at the tables suspiciously. No one is meeting her eye and no one is speaking. All around, people clear their throats and cough awkwardly.

What is going on? Could the rebels know where she went this weekend? Did Nikolaus make some sort of grand announcement while she was in the library yesterday? Nazirah bites thoughtfully into her apple, readjusting the strap on her bag as she exits the room.

At first, Nazirah thinks she’s just being neurotic. But as she walks to class, she quickly notices people stopping their conversations to stare at her. She’s seriously unnerved now, as a nagging suspicion worms its way out from the back of her mind.

Throwing her half-eaten breakfast into the nearest waste bin, Nazirah storms to the end of the corridor. She quickly changes her destination, turning right instead of left into Bairs’s classroom. She walks faster, weaving through the crowd. The halls become less packed, but the stares increase. And the whispers follow her every panicked footstep.

“Do you think she knows?”

“Poor girl. She’s already been through so much.”

“Serves her right, coming here without an ounce of appreciation.”

Nazirah tunes them out. She barges into Niko’s office, slamming the door shut behind her. Nikolaus is there as usual, with an unusual silver briefcase lying on his desk. The office is otherwise empty, save for one other person. Nikolaus jumps at the sound, startled, but the other man doesn’t move an inch. He is free of handcuffs this time.

“Nazirah, what are you doing here?”

Nikolaus looks borderline ashamed. Adamek, clean-shaven and cocky, watches silently, giving her the same curious look as in the prison. The purple bruises on his face have faded slightly and his split lip is almost healed.

“What am I doing here?” Nazirah yells furiously, storming up to Niko. “What am I doing here? Well, let’s see.” She laughs bitterly. “I’m here right now, stuck in this scummy compound that I hate, because both of my parents were slaughtered like pigs, in my own home. And you, my ever-protective big brother, told me that I couldn’t stay there, that it wasn’t safe for me there. So that’s what I’m doing here. And I’m here, in your office, to tell you that you’ve lost your fucking mind! What am I doing here? What is he doing here?” Nazirah stabs her finger at Adamek, standing a foot from its accusing tip.

“Nazirah,” Nikolaus says sternly, anger flushing his tired face, “I don’t have time for this right now. I told you already, this is part of our agreement. It’s easier if he stays here.”

“He’s staying here?” she screeches, beside herself.

Nikolaus never told her this was part of the deal! Nazirah assumed that Adamek would buy a private island and hide away until the war was over and he could safely return to Mediah. She can’t be around him for more than a few seconds without wanting to throw up, and now they have to live under the same roof?

Nikolaus looks between her and Adamek cautiously, clearly worried that one of them, maybe both, will snap. “Do not question me,” he says. “I am your brother, and I am your Commander. I am sick of your selfishness.” He walks past her to the door, holding it open and scowling at the nosy rebels listening outside.

But Nazirah isn’t done yet. “How could you let him stay here?” she hisses, glaring at Adamek. She is addressing him now, spitting slander. “This disgusting, racist snake who is contaminating me with his presence?” Her eyes blaze. “This … murderer!”

Adamek stares hard at Nazirah before sharing a brief look with Niko. Adamek nods, walking towards the open door. He stops in front of Nazirah, who is suddenly aware of how tall he is. She hadn’t noticed in the prison because he was sitting the entire time, but he is only a few inches shorter than Nikolaus. Nazirah refuses to feel small and weak next to him, and holds her head high. Adamek bends down. He whispers something in Nazirah’s ear and then straightens and strolls out of the room.

Nikolaus waits by the door, not really paying attention. Nazirah distantly hears him tell her that they will finish discussing this later, that he needs to get back to work, that she needs to go to class. But Nazirah is not concentrating on him. She is concentrating on what Adamek has just whispered, his words repeating over and over in her mind.

“And don’t you forget it.”

As if she could.

#

“What a day.”

Nazirah drops her heavy bag on the dead, withered grass next to Cato. It is Thursday, four days since she made her penitent return to classes, and she already feels overwhelmed with work. Her teachers weren’t understanding or lenient, hadn’t eased her back into things. They piled makeup assignments and extra credit essays on her with a smile, especially Bairs. Nazirah doesn’t want to do the assignments. She thinks that showing up is more than sufficient. But Riva encouraged education, and Nazirah doesn’t want to disappoint her any more than she already has.

“Rough day of class?”

Nazirah shoots Cato an annoyed look, sitting on the grass beside Lumi and Taj. They are lounging in a circle, on the grounds behind the main building, watching some younger rebel children play tag. It has been a beautiful day and the grounds are full of people relaxing before dinner.

“I got my paper on Zima back,” Nazirah tells them, stretching out her legs. “The bear was not pleased. ‘You should take your work in this class more seriously, Nazirah,’” Nazirah says, in a poor Bairs imitation. “‘Territory History is an essential foundation of our rebellion. It’s how the races learn about one another, how we realize we are all similar and connected.’” Nazirah scoffs, because the last thing she needs is yet another lecture.

“That witch,” says Lumi, her voice suddenly full of derision. Nazirah is surprised to find she and Lumi agree on something. “Can you believe she took points off my essay? How would she know anything about Zima? She’s a southerner!”

Nazirah smirks. It’s typical of Lumi to revolve the conversation around herself, but she still feels better about her own decimated essay.

“Don’t feel too bad about it, Irri,” Taj says kindly. “Bairs doesn’t like anyone.”

“Except you,” Cato says, and Taj smirks.

Like Nazirah, Taj is intermix. An orphaned refugee from a small village several hours north of Rubiyat, Taj has warm brown skin, an appreciative smile, and an eternally grateful disposition. He can’t read or write, so he completes his essay assignments orally. Taj is wicked smart and remembers nearly everything he hears. Nazirah wishes she could be more like him, wishes she could let the despair roll off. She doesn’t know how he manages to do it, continue smiling day after day.

Nazirah sighs. “She gave me so much makeup work today that I’ll be busy for a month.”

“If you need any help, you can always ask Ani,” Lumi says sympathetically. “She’s the brains of our family.”

Nazirah is thrown off by Lumi’s pleasantness. Everyone has been walking on eggshells around Nazirah since Monday morning, when Adamek first set foot onto the grounds. All Nazirah wants is for everything to return to normal and for everyone to ignore her again. That would be so nice.

“Thanks, Lumi,” Nazirah says, genuinely grateful for the tip. “How is she doing, by the way? I don’t see her around much.”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Lumi sighs. She throws her hands up in exasperation. “I try to ask, but she won’t talk to me. Or my father. Or even Yuki.”

Nazirah is skeptical about whether Lumi has really tried to understand her reclusive sister, but she stays quiet. She feels guiltier now about not stopping to chat with Aneira in the girls’ lavatory last Friday.

“It’s a big change,” Cato says gently. He is resting on his palms, eyes closed. “Just keep trying.”

Lumi looks at him wistfully. “I’m sick of trying, Cato.”

Nazirah doubts Lumi is still talking about Aneira.

“I overheard Grum speaking with Badoomi today,” Taj says. “We’re starting actual combat training next week. Fun, yeah?”

Cato’s eyes pop open. Their combat class has, up until this point, basically consisted of studying battle techniques from strategy textbooks. Nazirah wonders if Adamek’s alliance with the rebellion has sped up the impending war. The thought of having to fight sooner does not cheer her up in the least.

“Fun,” she grumbles.

Silence becomes the fifth member of their circle. Even though they’re all recruits, it’s easy to forget, sometimes, what they’re really here for. Why they’re constantly going to classes, learning, and training. But at certain moments, like now, they’re given a harsh reminder. They’re preparing to become soldiers, tools, warm insurgent bodies. They’re preparing to fight a battle against the government, Medis, and Median allies. Many of them will die.

Nazirah looks at the children jumping rope and swinging nearby. She looks at her friends, at Cato, and she wonders.

Wonders who will be standing at the end of all this.

They stay like that, watching the late afternoon light dim, preoccupied by their own personal demons. Nazirah sees Cato stiffen. He is looking behind Nazirah, towards the picnic tables, surviving relics of a time long ago. She notices Lumi staring as well. Nazirah turns her head and sees Adamek sitting alone. The tables around him are empty, which Nazirah guesses is more by design than chance. He is deeply engrossed in reading something, not paying any attention to them. People shoot him nasty looks, mothers hold children tightly to their bosoms, but he takes no notice. Or pretends not to.

Nazirah faces the circle again, to find her three friends avoiding her. Everyone at headquarters has heard about Nazirah’s outburst in Nikolaus’s office, although no one, not even Cato, has asked her about it.

“You don’t have to tread so cautiously,” she says. “I’m not going to break or anything.”

Does saying it out loud make it true?

“No one would begrudge you if you did,” Taj says quietly. Nazirah looks at him, but doesn’t respond.

“It’s just so weird that he’s here,” Lumi jumps in eagerly. “I mean … not weird that he’s here outside … weird that he’s here in general.”

“Oh, because I wasn’t sure what you meant there for a moment,” Nazirah says. Cato shoots her a look and Nazirah shuts her mouth.

“He’s just … hurt so many people here,” Lumi continues. “I don’t understand how someone can suddenly change the beliefs they’ve been raised on.”

Nazirah looks again at Adamek, still absorbed in his book. “It’s simple,” she says. “They don’t.”

#

Half an hour later, Lumi and Taj leave to grab dinner. Nazirah and Cato linger behind. The sun is fading, covering them in a cool orange glow. The grounds are almost entirely deserted, as most of the rebels and children have meandered inside. Glancing casually at the picnic tables, Nazirah sees that they are unoccupied and covered in dark shadows.

Nazirah basks in the last rays of light, resting her head beside Cato and closing her eyes. The sound of Cato breathing puts her mind at ease. She doesn’t know how she could have done any of this without him. Her stomach turns at the thought of his family, whom he left on bad terms to come here. Cato never talks about them. Or maybe she just never asks.

Nazirah gets a sudden stroke of brilliance. She sits up, a quirk of a smile on her face. “What?” Cato asks, all too familiar with that look.

Nazirah doesn’t answer him. She hops up, brushing the dirt off her shorts. The wind has picked up, and her loose top blows everywhere. She smiles down at him, offering her hand. He warily grabs hold of it, standing. “Come on,” she teases. “I have an idea.”

“Which is?”

“Trust me?”

She is grinning widely now. Cato slowly nods, a smile of remembrance appearing on his face. Nazirah playfully grabs his hands. She begins walking backwards, pulling him forward with every step. Then she stops.

“We’re here!”

“Really, Irri?”

Cato watches in increasing recognition as Nazirah walks through the small gate in front of them. This is the only area of the grounds still bathed in an orange glow. The abandoned swing set that Nazirah has led them to shines like a beacon.

“Don’t be such a baby!” Nazirah laughs, walking over to the closest wooden swing. “We haven’t done this in years!”

When Nazirah and Cato were younger, they always used to ride their bicycles on the rundown boardwalk in Rafu. They would peddle hard, racing to the swings at the end of the beach. Nazirah always won, much to Cato’s chagrin. On the sand dunes, they would swing for hours, daring each other to go higher and higher, until someone eventually either chickened out or accidentally launched off. Nazirah can’t recall why they stopped doing that.

Nazirah hops up onto one swing, standing on the flat wooden board. It creaks slightly and Nazirah gently tests the rusty metal chains, making sure they will hold her weight. She starts swinging, feeling light, suddenly in a great mood for no good reason at all.

“And I’m the baby?” Cato asks dryly.

Her laughter rings out like a dozen tinkling bells, completely infectious. Without another moment’s hesitation, Cato stands on the swing to her left, beaming. They swing for a few minutes, not competitively like they used to as children, but just enjoying each other’s company. Nazirah’s hair whips everywhere, wild copper highlights ablaze in the setting sun. “Would be nice to have an ocean to look at right now, instead of just concrete,” she says, breathless. Cato doesn’t respond. Nazirah looks at him questioningly. He is staring past her right shoulder, visibly upset. He isn’t laughing anymore. “What’s wrong?”

Nazirah turns her head and she has her answer.

Adamek stands not ten feet away, leaning lazily against the chain-link fence. His book is closed. The fading sunlight highlights his cheekbones and glitters in his emerald eyes, making him look not entirely human. He clearly moved from the picnic tables awhile back in order to catch the last rays of reading light, and has been watching them the entire time. Watching her the entire time.

Nazirah is shocked that she didn’t notice him, when he has been so close. And she is angry, because he has seen her vulnerable. Quick as a flash, Cato is off the swing and standing menacingly in front of Adamek. Cato is a head shorter, but he is fearless, hands balled into fists. Adamek’s stance is passive, his entire body relaxed. He watches Nazirah clumsily get down and stumble over to them.

“Look at me, you sick fuck!” Cato shouts.

Adamek does, eyes narrowing dangerously. Cato is too close to him. Nazirah has known Cato her entire life and is well acquainted with his hot temper. Nazirah looks around for help, but no one else is outside anymore. “Cato, stop!” she cries.

“Stay the fuck away from her!”

Adamek’s raises an eyebrow. “Or what?” he asks. “What are you going to do about it?”

Cato grabs the front of Adamek’s shirt, but Adamek doesn’t flinch. “Just because you have amnesty doesn’t mean I won’t beat the shit out of you!”

“Cato!” Nazirah grabs his arm. Her voice triggers something. Cato slowly releases Adamek’s shirt and steps away. Nazirah looks between Cato, who is panting heavily and flushed red, and Adamek, who has not moved a muscle.

In Niko’s office she called him a murderer.

He told her not to forget it.

And Nazirah gets it now, really gets it.

It’s terrifying.

“Watch your back, Morgen,” Cato threatens, cracking his knuckles.

Nazirah reaches for his hand. Cato looks at her then, looks at their joint hands. Nazirah can see his anger diminishing, if only slightly. She takes the opportunity and pulls him away, dragging him towards the main building. Halfway there, Cato strides ahead of her, slamming angrily through the doors. Nazirah follows him inside, taking one final look back at Adamek. He’s still in the same position against the fence, has not moved at all. But it’s his expression that completely unsettles Nazirah. Adamek stares almost longingly at the swings, still swaying back and forth in the breeze.

Nazirah doesn’t dwell on that as she walks through the door. Moving quickly, she catches up to Cato by the mess hall entrance. He waits for her there, arms crossed.

“What was that?” she asks.

“What was that?” Cato snaps. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not kidding!” Nazirah says hotly. “You completely provoked him! He was just standing there!”

Cato looks at her in disbelief. “Are you seriously that naïve?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I’m sorry. But he wasn’t just standing there, Irri. He was watching you … only you. Just steer clear of him, okay? I feel like he’s singling you out.”

Nazirah hates the way he babies her, speaks in delicacies, keeps her from the whole truth. “It’s not like we exactly hang.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Fine,” she says, hoping to drop the subject. She tries to reassure him with, “Don’t worry about me, Cato. I can handle myself.”

Cato sighs as they walk through the mess hall doors. Nazirah knows he isn’t convinced. She doesn’t blame him.

She isn’t convinced either.