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Relinquish
  • Текст добавлен: 9 октября 2016, 16:23

Текст книги "Relinquish"


Автор книги: M. N. Forgy



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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

FOUR

CHARLIE

“What the fuck, Jayden? Did you turn the alarm off?” I frantically question, falling out of the bed. The unforgiving floor slams against my kneecaps as I land, tangled in the sheets.

“You kept hitting snooze, and I was trying to sleep,” she grumbles into her pillow.

“Nice. Well, you sleep while I rush to get a job so we can afford food!” I don’t hold back my sarcasm. I fling on the only decent thing I can find in my closet. It’s a little black dress which cuffs my shoulders and falls to my thighs. I got it at the thrift store, hence the little holes here and there, and the tatters along the hem. I glance at my poor shoe collection, wondering what I should wear with it.

“Flip-flops?” I question out loud with distaste.

“Use mine,” Jayden mumbles, sitting up in her bed and pointing at her addiction of shoes. Her hair consists of little curls spiked up everywhere. “I think we’re the same size, or close at least.”

I run over to her shoes and find some shiny, black high heels.

“These are nice!” I admire, turning them every which way. They’re not from a thrift store, for sure; there’s not a scuff on them.

“Thanks. I got them at a five-finger discount.” I raise my eye at her as she rolls over on her bed, pulling the sheet over her naked ass.

“With me getting this job, you won’t have to steal,” I inform her, but she doesn’t respond. I’m not a hypocrite—I’ve stolen my fair share of shit, of course—but Jayden deserves better than that. We deserve better than that.

Slipping my feet into the heels, they fit perfectly. Hopefully, I don’t break my neck in them.

“Well, they look hot on my feet, even if they are stolen,” I giggle. I look at the shitty alarm clock, noticing it’s 6:50 a.m. Shit, I’m never going to make it.

“I’ll be back!” I yell, running toward the door.

“Open this fucking door!” sounds from the outside of our apartment door, along with a loud thumping of a fist against wood.

I stop in my tracks and look back at Jayden, sitting straight up in her bed, fully alert.

“What the fuck?” I ask Jayden in a hushed voice.

“You stiffed me two hundred dollars, you little bitches!”

I glare at Jayden, her eyes wide with alarm.

“You what?” I hiss.

“We needed food, Charlie!” Jayden whisper-yells. I look over at the counter, the ramen noodles and off-brand soda empty. We have no more money, not for rent or food. My stomach particularly growling for eggs and bacon is not helping any.

I tangle my hands in my hair, stressed more than I already was. “Fuck.”

“Take the fire escape,” Jayden suggests, pointing at the window and flinging the blankets off her.

My eyes light up and I scamper over to the window.

“I can hear you in there, damn it!” rumbles against the front door, along with continuous knocking.

I slide the window up and shimmy my way out, tripping from the huge-ass heels on my feet as I fall head-first out the window.

“Good luck!” Jayden whispers, pushing my leg the rest of the way out.

“Yeah, thanks.”

I make my way down the rusty metal stairs in a rush, the heels of my shoes sticking in the grates of the fire escape. After reaching the sidewalk, I take off the heels, holding them in my hand as I run with all I have.

After making it a block up, my hair sticks to my face from my sweating, and my feet burn from the brutal asphalt cutting into the bottom of them. I stop. I’ll never make it.

“You need a ride?”

Looking over out of breath, I spot Chasen in a shiny green truck.

“I don’t have any money to give you for gas,” I pant, my calves burning from my running.

Chasen slides his tongue along his bottom lip, looking out the windshield before looking back at me.

“I’m sure we can figure something out.”

I wince and raise a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying. We’re two adults. You’re attractive, I’m attractive.” He shrugs, hanging one of his arms over the steering wheel.

I tilt my head back and look up at the sky. See, everyone wants something in return for a favor.

“I’m not having sex with you for a fucking ride,” I sneer, eyeing him with a vengeance.

He chuckles, leans over the seat and opens the door.

“Get in. We’ll talk about it after I get you where you’re going,” he insists.

I look up the street, conflicted. I need this job. We need money like we need air or we’ll be homeless. Fuck! I peer at Chasen from under my lashes, his strong jaw and plumped lips carved into a smirk. I sigh heavily. What choice do I have?

“Fine,” I grit, climbing into the leather seat. The truck smells new, and it’s detailed to perfection. It looks expensive with all the leather and gadgets.

“Take me to the dentist’s office,” I demand, slamming the door shut.

***

“It’s 7:05. I said 7:00, remember?” Mrs. Jennings clips with a smirk, tapping the shiny watch on her wrist with a perfectly manicured nail. She’s wearing colorful scrubs, her hair in some uptight-looking hairdo. Just from the way she’s looking at me, I can tell she thinks she’s better than me.

“Please! My alarm, it—”

“I’m sorry, but the position has been filled,” she interrupts, turning away and dismissing me.

“Shit!” I yell, making the other people working eye me with concern.

I scowl at their reaction. The way their faces are twisted in disapproval, angers me.

“What the hell are you looking at?” I throw at all of them, causing them to resume what they’re doing quickly. I flip them all the middle finger and walk out of the office, rage and defeat drumming through my body. I’m not sure what the hell I’m going to do now that I’m back at square one.

“Did you get the job?” Chasen asks as I open the passenger door.

“No,” I snap. “I was late.” Snatching the heels off my aching feet, I throw them into the floorboard.  I look up under my lashes, my eyes stinging with the urge to cry. “Do you think you can talk to your sister for me?”

Chasen shakes his head and twists his mouth. “It won’t do any good. She won’t listen to me,” he replies. I clench my eyes and blow out a steady breath to calm myself.  That doesn’t surprise me; she looks like a total bitch.

“Can you just take me home?” I ask, opening my eyes.

He scowls and shakes his head. “No. We had a deal, job or no job.” His tone is dry and humorless.

“Are you kidding me?” I question, my mouth gaped open.

“Hardly,” he states. “Nothing in this world is free, Charlie.” I squint and nod in knowing. Ain’t that the truth. I turn my head and raise an eyebrow.

“Why me? I seriously doubt you have a hard time getting girls to mess around with.” I laugh nervously, pointing at his arms which are taut with muscle.

He shakes his head as if I’m not understanding.

“For one, we had a deal. You get a ride, I get something in return. But no, I don’t have a problem getting girls; you’re right about that. But girls around here want love and shit, and I’m not looking for anything serious. You’re hot and look fun,” he responds arrogantly.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my heart beating wildly. I know accepting his offer is wrong, but when have I ever done what’s right? I should smack him and gasp in horror. But the throb between my legs and the erect nipples against my dress have me nodding in acceptance.

“All right,” I whisper weakly. “But no sex.”

Chasen smiles like the devil as he starts his truck, while my mind and body battle a war of lust over logic.

He drives down the road, turning between two tall buildings that lead into an alley, driving up to a dirty green dumpster. The fit is so tight I couldn’t open my door if I wanted to without it slamming into the brick building.

“Well, this is fancy,” I respond sarcastically, watching a large rat scamper across a green dumpster. Chasen laughs, scratching his blond hair.

“It’s not fancy, huh?” He glances at me from the corner of his eye, his chest lifting as he does so. “I think I should start calling you that. Fancy.” He chuckles, turning the truck off.

“Yeah, no,” I clip seriously, making him laugh harder. I swipe at the sweat trickling down my leg slowly, the heat inside the truck becoming unbearable from the lack of air conditioning.

“So, you said no sex,” he states, resting his arm along the back of the seat.

“Yeah, not happening,” I respond, shifting in my dress nervously.

“What about a blow job then?” he questions. My head whips in his direction from his forwardness. He doesn’t hold back, does he?

His head tilts to the side, making him look sexy. I smirk, peering out the window and debating if I should do it or not.

My skin sprouts with little bumps of unease, but my sex throbs with excitement. I close my eyes, conflicted with my thoughts. It’s just a blow job. He’s sexy at least, and if anything, I do owe him. My cheeks flush with longing, and my heart beats sporadically when I realize… I want this. I want to feel desired. All my life, I’ve been pushed to the side by pretty girls whose parents had money. Caring for kids of the foster system kept me from being scandalous and venturous. But there’s a part of me, the sexual part of me, I’ve never experienced before because of it.

“I mean, I’ve never—”

“It’s simple. Open your mouth as wide as you can and suck my dick as hard as you can.” He chuckles and I bite my inner cheek, embarrassed.

He pushes his ass off the seat, using his feet in the floorboard and his back against the seat to hold his weight. He undoes his torn jeans and slides them down to his knees, pulling his cock through the hole of his black boxers.

“Holy shit,” I mumble, eyeing the long, pinkish shaft and swollen head completing his package. He slides his hand up and down himself, causing it to grow harder. My cheeks warm with the way my body ignites with arousal, shadowing any thought that giving head in an alleyway might be wrong. In fact… it’s hot. I mean, we could be caught at any second.

“Come here, Charlie,” he whispers huskily.

My breathing spikes with his words, my mouth watering to taste him. My legs tighten to try and smother the pulsing vibrating in my core. I slide across the seat, getting closer to him, my thighs sticking to the leather seat from the heat.

“That’a girl,” he mutters, slipping his hand into the back of my hair. I slide my finger up his length; it’s silky and veiny beneath the pad of my finger. I’ve never touched a penis before. There’s something about touching it that has my body warming and my panties wet. I hover my face over the tip of his dick, preparing myself. I’m so turned on I might just give in and have sex with him.

“Fuck me with your mouth, Charlie.” He anchors his hand on the back of my neck and plows my face into his crotch. I have no choice but to open my mouth and take him whole.

My tongue thrashes against the bottom of his cock, taking in the taste of musk and salt. It’s not bad, though. In fact, I like it. I tilt my head to the side and slide my tongue along the ridge of the head, my eyes peering up at Chasen. His head is resting against the back glass of the truck, looking down at me with a haze of pleasure fogging his eyes. I sheath my teeth with my lips, not wanting to nip him, and take the top of his head into my mouth, sucking it in with force.

“Suck me harder,” he whispers, thrusting his hips upward. I hold him at the base of his length and perch my lips over the head of his cock. I suck as hard as I can, taking him to the back of my throat. I bob my head slowly, not rushing the experience. He hisses between his teeth, pushing my head down every time I come upward.

“Just like that,” he moans, clenching his hands into my hair painfully. My jaw begins to ache, and my gag reflex starts to quiver with the urge to puke as he continues to fuck my mouth. You’d think I would hate this, that I would plead for him to stop. But to see him so undone, at my complete mercy just by something as simple as my mouth… it’s empowering. I love it.

Drool escapes the sides of my mouth and my sex pulses with tingling waves. I hear Chasen moan, and his head hit the truck’s back window from falling backwards. He suddenly tenses, stilling my head in place. His body trembles beneath me and warm, salty fluid spills into the back of my throat. Loud, guttural groans fill the cab of the truck with his release as he stiffens beneath me. He untangles his fingers from my hair, letting me up. As I sit up, I notice a big, wet circle soaking his boxers around his cock from my spit.

“Fuck, Charlie,” he pants. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and notice how sore it is. I work my aching jaw back and forth as I eye him.

“Good?” My voice is muffled with lust.

He lifts his head off the back of the glass and exhales loudly.

“I have never come in a girl’s mouth before. Like ever. So, yeah, it was good.” He chuckles, sweat slipping off his forehead.

“Really?” I question, shocked.

“Yeah. They always complain their mouth is hurting and stop, or they bite the shit out of me,” he replies. “You’re something else, you know that?” A smile creeps across my face and my cheeks warm. I’m not sure how to respond.

He pulls up his pants, zipping his fly, and my eyes widen. That’s it? He’s not even going to touch me? At first I didn’t want him to, but after just experiencing him come in my mouth, how lost he was in what I was doing, my body demands to be explored.

I slide back over to my side of the seat and situate myself, my body aching with the need to be unraveled.

“So, what are you going to do about not getting the job?” he asks, starting the truck. My high plummets. I forgot all about not getting the job. Shit.

“I’m not sure. I can’t seem to find anything, and we need the money badly.” I shake my head, completely at a loss for what Jayden and I are going to do. The air conditioning blasts against my face, causing me to sigh with relief.

Pulling up to my apartment, Chasen turns the truck off. I almost whine from the loss of cool air.

I look at him, curious if he wants to come up. Please, come up with me, touch me, grab me, kiss me. God, my inner vixen sounds pathetic.

He leans over, and my body weeps with gratitude that he’s finally going to touch me. Just as I’m about to plow myself into him, he thrusts a handful of cash between us.

“What the fuck is that?” I ask angrily, my body instantly losing its lustful state.

“Get yourself something pretty, pay your rent, whatever,” he responds, dropping the cash in my lap.

“What is this for?” I tilt my head to the side and look at him warily.

“Just take it.” His tone is suddenly laced with anger.

I start chewing on my thumbnail, looking the money over. It’s only fifty dollars, and it’s not like I didn’t work for it. I exhale a breath of despair and grab it, my fingers fiddling with the edges.

“See you around, Charlie.” I look up, seeing Chasen grinning wolfishly. I grimace, looking back at the money in my hand.

“See you around, Chasen,” I mumble. Fisting the money in one hand, I use the other to open the door and get out.


FIVE

CHARLIE

It’s been three days since my ride home with Chasen. Jayden and I still have no jobs, but I managed to keep the landlord at bay with the money I got from Chasen. It won’t hold him off for long, though.

“Look what I got!” Jayden exclaims, walking through our apartment door.

Glancing up from my outdated magazine, I notice Jayden holding a plastic card in her hand.  Her hair is frizzier today than usual, and her green tank top is disheveled, hanging off her shoulder.

“You look like shit, and what’s that?” I question, sitting up as she huffs and lowers her hand.

“It’s an ID,” she explains, looking it over.

“How did you get that?” I narrow my brows with concern.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t apply for one or anything. It’s fake.” She smiles proudly. My face turns into a grimace, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth in anger.

“How the hell did you pay for that, Jayden?”

She shrugs, sticking it in the back pocket of her torn-up white shorts. “I have my ways. Don’t worry, I didn’t use our cash.”

“You have your ways?” I twist my face in question, not sure what the hell that’s supposed to mean.

Jayden rolls her eyes and falls back on her bed. “I stole some sandwiches from the college’s cafeteria,” she states, changing the subject. My mouth instantly waters; I haven’t had anything to eat all day.

“You did?” My attention is completely on her, curious where she stuffed the delectable stolen goods. I should be angry that she did it, telling her it’s not something she should be doing, but the growl in my stomach couldn’t care less right now. Our food rations have been next to none with our lack of money. I’d be a liar if I said the thought of stealing food hasn’t crossed my mind.

A loud knock sounds at the door, drawing our attention.

“Shit, you think it’s the landlord?” Jayden whispers, sitting up. We stay perfectly still, making sure not to make a sound, waiting for the person behind the door to speak or go away.

“Charlie, you there? It’s Chasen.”

“It’s for me,” I mutter, releasing the breath I was holding, relieved it’s not the landlord.

I glance down at myself, making sure what I have on is presentable. I’m wearing a white stretched-out tank top with my black sports bra showing, along with my blue-jean skirt.

“You look great, don’t worry,” Jayden whispers, smiling big.

I nod and open the door.

“Fancy!” Chasen chimes, looking me up and down. I roll my eyes at his stupid nickname for me. “Damn, you look good,” he groans, making my cheeks flush crimson.

“Chasen,” I greet, holding the door open.

He looks over my shoulder, noticing Jayden.

“Sup?” he questions, jerking his chin upward.

“Sup yourself? I’m Jayden,” Jayden coos over my shoulder.

“Chasen,” he responds. His eyes trail back to me, a smile playing across his face. “Wanna get out of here?”

I can’t help the goofy-ass grin that splits my face. Lustful thoughts bring a flame to my sex, and I forget about my hunger.

“I take that as a yes.” He laughs. “Let’s bolt.” He grabs my hand, pulling me from the doorway. “I’m parked up at the café. I didn’t want to park here.” He quirks an eyebrow up and shrugs. “No offense.”

I laugh and flip my hair over my shoulder. “Nah, I get it. It’d probably be on bricks and stripped if you left your truck parked out front.” He laughs and leads the way toward the café.

“That your roommate?” Chasen questions, walking a step ahead of me.

“Who, Jayden? Yeah,” I respond, trying to keep up.  We round the café and Landon charges out of the building, nearly knocking into Chasen.

“Watch it, ass-wipe!” Chasen hollers, puffing his chest out. My breath catches in my throat. I’m at a complete loss as to why Chasen is being so rude.

Landon’s face turns into a scowl that has me scared as he steps up to Chasen. My breathing shallows and I watch in terror at the two handsome men giving death stares at each other. It’s like watching two tigers circle each other with preying eyes.

“Watch where you’re walking,” Landon responds, his tone low and menacing.  I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the sudden lump forming, and Landon slowly draws his attention from Chasen to me. My chest constricts, and my stomach falls.

“Charlie,” he mutters. His eyes shine, and the way he says my name sounds like a prayer slipping from his lips. He winks, and my panties go damp. My chest nearly explodes with admiration. His face is so perfect. Even the way he talks is perfect.

“Hi,” I reply weakly.

Chasen’s chest begins to rise and fall rapidly with rage, his eyes darting between Landon and me.

He steps over and grabs my hand. “Let’s get out of here, Charlie.” He drags me toward his truck and away from Landon. I can’t help but look over my shoulder to get one more glimpse at Landon, the way his dark hair shifts in the wind, and how he jerks his tie angrily. It’s a sight that would make any woman fall to her knees. I wonder what the hell happened between Landon and Chasen. Clearly, there’s some tension between the two.

“So, where are we going?” I ask, searching for my seatbelt.

“Somewhere quiet,” he mutters, pulling out onto the street. I peer under my lashes at Chasen, who’s clearly upset. His face is red, his jaw clenched. He has one hand over the steering wheel, and we’re going way over the speed limit. I fiddle with my hands nervously, the question I want to ask dangling in the air between us like bait waiting for a shark. I blow a steady breath and go for it.

“What was all that about?” I furrow my brows and watch his reaction.

Chasen scoffs and rubs at his chin.

“That ol’ man just has it out for me. Because he has money, he thinks he can just do whatever he wants,” he replies, his face even redder by the end. I bite my inner cheek and look out the window. I don’t know Landon, but the couple of times I met him, I didn’t get the impression he was some rich asshole. Rich, yes, but not an asshole.

Riding in the truck, the windows down and a warm breeze blowing through, Chasen grasps my hand resting on the seat. I peer up at him as he focuses on the road. Butterflies swarm in my stomach, making me fidget in my seat. I have never had a boyfriend before, never had a guy interested in me who looked as sexy as Chasen. It all feels too surreal. Living in foster care, not having the nicest of things, not many boys looked my way.

Chasen pulls onto a dirt road, the sun resting on the horizon warning us of its departure.

Passing a ‘closed’ sign, I give Chasen a concerned look.

“It says closed,” I point out.

“Yeah, so?” he replies, shrugging. I smirk at his rebel behavior and shrug myself, sitting back in the seat.

He pulls over and turns the truck off. Looking out the window, I notice a small lake with palm trees planted nicely around it, and little picnic benches scattered here and there. There’s yellow caution tape around areas, with small yellow tractors parked nearby.  It looks like this place is still under construction.

“Come on,” Chasen mumbles, getting out of the truck. I hop out and shut the door, the sound of it closing echoes through the deserted area.

Chasen walks up behind me, placing both of his hands on my hips possessively. He nips my shoulder with his teeth, causing my body to drum with that delicious ache from when I gave him head for the first time.

“Come on, let’s check it out.” He pushes on my back, urging me forward.

We make our way up the lake, the smell of dirty water strong.

“Got a big game tomorrow,” Chasen explains, looking out across the distance. “Scouts coming in, my father on my ass. It’s fucking stressful,” he mutters.

“I bet,” I reply, resting against one of the yellow tractors. I actually have no idea what kind of stress he’s under. To have a parent believe in you so much it stresses you out, I’ve never experienced it. Chasen turns, looking at me with a mischievous grin.

“You’re sexy as hell, do you know that?”

“Do you tell all the girls that line?” I sass. Chasen laughs and runs his hand over his chin. He walks toward me, grabs my backside and pulls me in close. My eyes widen, my mouth parting with a thirst of longing.

He runs a hand between my thighs, making my legs part and my head fall back against the large tire belonging to the machine behind me.

He rubs his fingers back and forth over the material of my underwear, causing me to pant with the incredible pressure building.

“You like that?” he whispers roughly. I nod, fevering myself onto his fingers. The intensity climbs, turning into a warmth that envelops my whole lower half.

“Yeah?” he pants arrogantly, rubbing harder. His other hand comes up and grabs my tit hard, causing me to moan.

My body shudders and stiffens with an incredible sensation that drives through my core. It tingles and is almost too much to handle, but I can’t help but want to keep pushing myself on his hands for more of it. Sparks ignite behind my eyes, my body riding a wave of indescribable ecstasy. But as soon as it came… it vanishes, leaving me a panting mess. Chasen turns away as I’m gasping against the wheel.

“Come here, Charlie,” he demands, unbuttoning his jeans. I close my mouth, my tongue sticking to the roof from my heavy breathing.

I pull myself off the tractor and stride toward him. His jeans are wrapped around his ankles as he fists his cock.

“Still won’t fuck me?” he questions with a salacious smirk. My eyebrows narrow inward, telling him no. “Then suck me. Give me that beautiful mouth of yours,” he pants, sliding his hand up and down his shaft.

I lower myself to my knees, the desert sand burning them. My eyes never leaving his, I grab the base of his cock and slowly cover the head with my tongue.

“You fucking tease,” he grunts, grabbing the back of my head and pushing my mouth all the way onto his dick. I smile around his length; the control I have is a high. I have never had control of anything in my life. But when it comes to this, using my body, I have control not only of myself, but the man who wants it, as well. I suck, and bob, and suck some more before I feel his cock tighten and pulse against my tongue. I close my eyes, preparing myself for the warmth about to spill into my mouth, but he pulls out instead. As soon as I open my eyes, I’m sprayed in the face with warm semen. Chasen grunts as he strokes himself, releasing little beads of sticky cum onto my face. I turn away and get it in my hair, causing him to chuckle, an arrogant smirk covering his face.

“It’s not fucking funny,” I respond angry, shoving him away from me. “Seriously?” I growl, trying to wipe the mess off my face.

“I’m sorry, babe. I was just messing around.” Chasen laughs, pushing my hair from my face.

After I wipe my face clean of what I could with my hands, Chasen pulls me up and lifts my face toward his.

“I gotta get home. I need my focus for tomorrow,” he explains.

“Yeah, okay. I understand,” I reply, still irritated.

We walk back to his truck and get in. The air conditioning caresses my sweaty body as he starts the engine.

Chasen pulls up to my apartment and parks. The sky is dark from the sun setting; the only thing I can see is the small glow from the café in the distance.

“You wanna come up?” I ask, looking over at him stretched out in his seat.

“Can’t, babe,” he responds, lifting up in his seat and messing with something in his back pocket.

“Your shoes,” he mentions, jerking his head toward my feet. I look down, noticing my worn-out flip-flops.

“Yeah, what about them?” I ask, confused.

Chasen pulls some cash out, throwing it on the seat. “Get you some better ones or something.” My mouth falls open at the eighty bucks sitting on the leather seat.

“You deserve something better,” he mutters, leaning over and kissing my forehead. I shut my mouth and look up at him, curious why he cares so much about my fucking shoes.

“My flip-flops are fine,” I assure.

“Then get something else,” he responds, giving me a wink and putting the truck into drive.

I haven’t been one to know much about what boyfriends and girlfriends do in a relationship. Hell, I don’t know what the hell you would even call Chasen and me, but I had a friend in high school who was always dating older guys. The men she went with would shower her in the finest jewelry and always gave her cash for spending. But who am I kidding? Jayden and I need the money so badly, who cares why Chasen’s giving it to me? I look at it and see food rather than shoes. With that, I grab the cash and stuff it down my shirt.

“See you around, Charlie.” I look up and find Chasen flashing a menacing smile.

I blink rapidly, his smile taking me aback, and shut the cab door.

***

Chasen showed up a couple times a week after that. He would take me somewhere, and before I knew what was happening, I was either giving him head or a hand job. Not every time, but most of the time he would return the favor, rubbing on me just right to make me obliterate into nothing but pleasure. He has asked me several times if I was ready to have sex, and every time, I told him no. I just wanted more than some quickie in the back of a truck. I wanted what you see in the movies. The unmistaken sparks that fly from touching one another, and a more romantic place than public. But realistically, I’m not fooling myself. I know that kind of romance doesn’t exist. What I need is to not be alone anymore. I want to be a part of something whole, and not broken.

He has bought me clothes, shoes, a cell phone, and even helped me with my rent.  Jayden and I actually have some food in our fridge. We’d be starving or out on the streets without him. The next time we go out, I think I may give myself to him fully. Maybe. I don’t know.

My stomach falls with the thought, excitement and confusion racing through me like a source of adrenaline. I want to want to have sex with Chasen, but for some reason, my head isn’t as convinced. Get a grip. It’ll be like taking off a Band-Aid; just get it over with. Chasen is the only guy who’s showed any interest in me since… ever.

I’m thinking way too much about it. I blow an irritated breath. It’s just sex. Nothing more. Besides, it’s not like I have a line of suitors lined up at my door. Maybe sex is exactly what I need to fill this aching hole in my chest. It’s like a black hole that’s been there since I can remember, and it sucks the life out of me.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, babe,” Jayden informs, walking out the door.

“Where are you going?” I question, all motherly and whatnot. Jayden sighs and rolls her eyes.

“There’s a frat party. I’m just going to go check it out. Chill,” she huffs, slamming the door before leaving.

I reach over and grab some pink fingernail polish as my phone vibrates. It’s just a cheapy pay-as-you-go, but it’s the only cell phone I’ve ever had. I reach over and grab it.

I got something just for you, babe. Meet me outside in ten.

“He has something for me?” I mutter, a smile creeping across my face. My heart skips a beat in excitement. I’ve never been given a gift before.

I run over to the closet and find that black dress, grabbing Jayden’s black heels that match it. I look in my suitcase for some clean panties, but come up short. I need to go to the dry cleaners bad. Looks like I’m going commando. Jayden would be proud.

I finger my hair, trying to tame the bed-head look I’ve got going on, and quickly apply some light makeup. My heart beats against my chest anxiously, curious at what Chasen has for me. I’m excited and nearly trip on my heels exiting the apartment.


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