Текст книги "Irresistibly Yours"

Автор книги: Layne Layren

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

He cut her off. “I don’t need you to be here for me. I don’t even– We’re not even—”

“We’re not even what?”

“We’re not together,” he said quietly.

Right. There was that.

“Not officially,” she said, “but I thought…things seemed like they were changing between us—”

He shook his head and cut her off. “You made a promise, Penelope. So did I. This was never meant to get serious, and this is why.”

“By this, you mean the off chance that your brother was going to get hit by a cab while we were at a Yankees game? That’s why you promised you wouldn’t fall in love with me?”

“Mock all you want, but he’s all I have,” Cole said.

“He’s not,” Penelope shot back before she could think better of it. “He is not all you have. You have friends, and colleagues, and me. You have me, Cole. You may not like that I’m here, but that doesn’t change the fact that I came for you, and that I’d do it all over again.”

His eyes were flat, his expression betraying nothing. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

Penelope ignored that. “Also, for what it’s worth, you’re not all Bobby has either. He loves you like crazy, Cole, but honestly, I wonder if he’s not better adjusted than you are, because he seems pretty okay with the fact that you two can be brothers and have your own lives.”

This time his eyes did flicker to life, and when they locked on hers they were full of anger. “Hey, here’s an idea, Penelope. You’ve got a sister, right? How about we wait until she’s in the hospital, and then we can have this little chat. Better yet, make sure that she’s entirely financially reliant on you, and that her well-being sits on your shoulders, and then come find me.”

This was not going well.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.

He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

It was no less than she’d expected, given his current mood, but ouch.

“Okay,” she said. “If you need anything, I—”

“I won’t.”

She met his eyes steadily. “Tell me you’re not actually doing this, Cole. Tell me you’re not that guy who goes all Jekyll-and-Hyde when something unexpected happens.”

His face crumpled for a moment before he put a hand over it, covering most of his features as he took a long breath. “I’m sorry, Penelope. I am.”

She stepped forward, putting her arms around him, the embrace slightly awkward because she was still wearing her Yankees hat.

He stiffened, and though he didn’t push her away, he didn’t exactly return her embrace.

“I should get back,” he said gruffly.

Penelope retreated a little, letting her arms fall back to her sides and trying not to feel humiliated by the one-sided hug.

“Okay.”

He started to turn away and then paused, hesitating before he met her eyes. “Believe it or not, I do get that I’m acting like an ass. I just…I can’t do this right now. It’s only ever just been me and Bobby, even when my parents were alive, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. Or him without me. He has to come first.”

“I see.” She managed to keep her voice steady. “You’re just realizing this now?”

He hesitated. “I’ve always known it, but lately…you made it easy to forget, Penelope.”

The statement would have warmed her heart if it hadn’t been uttered as he geared up to walk away from her.

She tried one more time. “Your heart’s bigger than you think, Cole. There’s room for me and Bobby. And Cole, you have to know that…”

I love you.

She opened her mouth to say it, but faltered when he took another step backward.

“Don’t, Penelope.”

“Cole—”

He turned away. “See you around, Pope.”

Penelope stood rooted to the spot as she watched his lean figure head back into the hospital.

See you around, Pope.

Was he for real?

See you around, Pope.

Suddenly she was so very glad she hadn’t uttered the words she’d been about to say.

Chapter 27

“I can’t believe you guys came all the way from Chicago,” Penelope said around a mouthful of Cool Ranch Doritos.

“Oh, sweetie. We’re your family.” As if punctuating this point, her mother snatched the chip bag away and replaced it with a bowl of carrots.

Penelope ignored the carrots, opting instead to pull a pillow over her chest and flop back against the couch.

Her sister came out of the kitchen and handed her a beer before sitting on the coffee table so she could study Penelope.

It had been like this for two days, Penelope going through the motions of life as her mother and sister alternated between feeding her beer and carrots and watching her like she might shatter at any moment.

And she might shatter. She just might.

“Thanks for coming,” she said quietly.

“Please,” Janie said, reaching across to squeeze Penelope’s arm. “You think we wouldn’t both jump on a plane the second you called us? You think we didn’t have to practically handcuff Dad to his La-Z-Boy to prevent him from going after Cole with a shotgun?”

Penelope gave a small smile at the thought of her gentle father even swatting a fly. He hadn’t been able to come with her mom and sister because of work, but he’d called her twice a day, trying to distract her with every possible bit of sports trivia on the planet. She knew every fact before he said it, of course, but the distraction was welcome all the same.

Anything to keep from crying again.

Penelope had made it all the way home from the hospital on Sunday without shedding a tear.

But once inside the safety of her apartment? Waterworks. The tears had come hot and furious, and hadn’t stopped until sometime around 4:00 A.M. on Monday, at which point she texted her sister.

By Monday night, her mother and sister had descended upon New York in full mother hen/warrior mode.

It was now Wednesday evening, and the tears had grown more intermittent, although she’d had a breakdown in the women’s restroom at work today. Jo, Oxford’s sweet receptionist, had patiently stroked her hair before rigging up an awkward ice pack for Penelope’s puffy eyes.

It hadn’t worked. Penelope was pretty sure Lincoln and Jake were on to her. Cassidy too.

As for Cole…

She hadn’t seen him. Not since his See you around, Pope send-off.

He’d taken the week off to get Bobby settled, but he’d be back on Monday. Penelope was counting the days, half in dread, half in hopes that he’d show up and it would be like their fight had never happened.

“No word from him?” Janie asked, pulling Penelope’s beer out of her hand and taking a sip.

She shook her head. “No. Do you think I should call him?”

“Absolutely not,” her mother said. “The ball’s in his court. He’s the utter fool here.”

Janie nodded. “I’m not saying he doesn’t get a little bit of a free pass because of what happened with his brother, but he still owes you an apology. And he needs to initiate it.”

Penelope stared blindly at the fishbowl, where Edgar swam in aimless circles. “That would be all fine and good if we didn’t work together. What am I supposed to do when he shows up on Monday?”

“Well, one thing’s for certain, you have to look fabulous,” her mother said. “Which reminds me, I want to take you shopping. Your closet is eighty percent sports outfits.”

Sports outfits?

Penelope and Janie exchanged a tired look. Their mother wasn’t superficial—not quite. But Lydia Pope was definitely of the mind-set that a nice fuchsia lipstick could solve most of the world’s problems.

“I’m pretty sure Cole cares about a lot more than Penelope’s looks,” Janie said gently.

“Well, of course he does,” Lydia said, indignant. “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t show off her legs. Maybe get a nice push-up bra…remind him of exactly what he kicked out of his bed.”

“Mom, eeew,” Janie said.

“Do you have a better idea?” Lydia asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Janie said, handing Penelope her beer back. “You’re going to act like nothing happened.”

“Can’t,” Penelope said glumly. “I’m a horrible actress.”

“Well, that’s true, dear. Which reminds me, would you mind if I put up a video of that time you played the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz and then chased your tail because you thought it was on fire?”

“Mother,” Janie and Penelope said at the same time.

“What? It’s cute! And you two have banned me from naked pictures. I need something to post on Facebook. My fans are counting on me.”

“You know they’re friends, right. Not fans?”

“Mine are both,” Lydia said stubbornly. “I have a following. They rely on me for entertainment.”

“Did I say I was glad you came out to New York?” Penelope asked jokingly. “Because I changed my mind.”

“Well, it’s either the lion video, or I could do the fourth-grade talent show, where you—”

Penelope was saved from having to hear her mother recount a disastrous performance of Leader of the Pack by the buzzing of her intercom.

“Yikes,” Janie said, glancing at the ancient-looking box making the noise. “They still make those?”

“It’s an old building,” Penelope said, dragging herself off the couch. “I hope that’s the pizza.”

Her mother made a dismayed noise. “Pizza. I thought we agreed that I’d make a lovely salad—”

“Mom, I’m a vegetarian, and even I know salad’s not comfort food,” Janie said. “We ordered a pizza while you were in the bathroom curling your hair. Again.”

“Hello?” Penelope asked, punching the button.

“Penelope, sweetheart. How are you?”

She frowned at the familiar voice. “Lincoln?”

“Indeed. Can I come up?”

“Who’s Lincoln?” Lydia asked Janie.

“Dunno,” Janie said. “I hope we’re about to find out. He sounds sexy.”

“You’re married,” Penelope shot over her shoulder to her sister. “Although, if you think he sounds sexy, watch this….”

“Come on up,” she told Lincoln, buzzing him in.

“Watch what?” Janie asked.

“Wait for it,” Penelope said, going to the front door and standing on her toes to look through the peephole.

She smiled in anticipation when she saw Lincoln’s painfully handsome face appear on the other side of the door. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with this one? Handsome, and unlikely to bid farewell to a woman with a See you around, Pope.

Penelope opened the door before he could knock, then stepped back to let her mother and sister take in the full impact of Lincoln Mathis’s good looks.

“Wow,” Janie said.

“Oh my,” their mother breathed.

Penelope grinned. “Lincoln, meet my sister, Janie, and mother, Lydia.”

Lincoln’s eyebrows lifted. “I would have thought them both your sisters.”

Penelope rolled her eyes at the overused line, but Lydia put a hand over her chest and made a tittering, tinkling laugh that Penelope hadn’t heard…ever.

“I didn’t realize you had family in town,” Lincoln said, going to shake both women’s hands. “Badly done of me to intrude like this.”

“Oh, you’re not intruding,” Janie said in a breathy little voice.

Penelope shut the door. “You’re not,” she confirmed for Lincoln. “They came out to offer moral support in the wake of your best friend being a total jerk.”

Lincoln winced. “I figured it was something like that. Although he’s not returning any of our calls. Jake said his brother had been in an accident, but none of us can get details.”

Penelope studied Lincoln. Saw the concern for his friend that wasn’t quite disguised by Lincoln’s ever-present smile.

“His brother’s okay,” she said, even though it wasn’t her news to tell. “He’s banged up and has a broken leg, but it could have been much worse.”

Lincoln breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thanks for telling me. I don’t know why that fool thinks he has to keep secrets….”

Penelope smiled gently. “Right. Because you’re an open book, hmm?”

Lincoln’s head snapped back just slightly, and his blue eyes went guarded as he studied her.

Yup. Lincoln Mathis definitely had secrets. Ones that were far darker than Cole being overprotective of his brother.

She inwardly sighed. Men and their secrets.

Janie and her mother were still staring at Lincoln.

“You came to check on your friend?” Janie said. “Now that is a legit bromance.”

He winked at Janie. “Actually, my concern is more for his brother and Penelope. As far as I’m concerned, Cole is being a moron.”

“That’s true,” Penelope muttered.

He turned to face her, his eyes gentling. “What happened?”

She shrugged. “The usual dude thing. He pushed me away when I got too close.”

“Idiot.”

She gave a weak smile. “Totally.”

“Have you figured out your plan yet?”

“Nuh-uh,” Janie said, stepping forward. “Penelope is not the one who needs a plan. He’s the one who messed up.”

“I know that, pet,” Lincoln replied smoothly. “But Cole is…well, a guy. If we want him to come to his senses, we’re going to have to tread carefully. Handle this exactly right, you know?”

“What are you thinking?” Penelope’s mother asked, crossing her arms over her chest and giving Lincoln a suspicious look.

Penelope smiled. Apparently even Lincoln’s good looks weren’t enough to hold off the fierceness of a mother cub for her wounded cub.

Lincoln never took his eyes off Penelope. “Well, it all depends on Penelope.”

Her smile slipped at the uncharacteristic seriousness in his gaze. “What do you mean, it depends on me?”

“It’s simple, love. Before we go even a step forward, I need to know one thing. Do you love him enough to want him back, even though he’s been a complete fool?”

Penelope sucked in a breath, the bluntness of the question taking her breath away just slightly.

On one hand, her chest literally ached every time she remembered how much it had hurt when he pushed her away. To remember the flatness of his eyes, and the ease with which he could throw away everything they had had, the second life got a little bit difficult.

On the other hand…

A montage of Cole flitted through her mind. Him buying her that damn Mets cap. The way he’d die for his brother. The way he loved his job but would never let it rule his life the way Evan had.

The way he’d looked at her as though she were everything.

The way he’d wanted her just the way she was. The way he’d seen what nobody else had seen.

He’d seen her.

He’d wanted her.

And though the stubborn ass might not be ready to admit it, he cared for her. She was positive.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Of course I love him enough to want him back.”

“Excellent,” Lincoln said with a wide smile that had her mother and sister sighing all over again as he shrugged out of his suit jacket. “So, here’s how I’m thinking we play it…”

Chapter 28

THREE WEEKS LATER

“Hey, hold the door, please!”

Cole half jogged the last couple of steps to the elevator door just as a hand slid between the closing doors, triggering the sensors so that the door opened again.

“Thanks,” he said as he stepped into the elevator. His smile froze halfway to formation when he saw who’d held the door for him.

“Hey, Cole!”

“Penelope.” He forced his smile to completion, if only to match her casual happiness. It’s what they did now. An awful lot of forced. At least on his part.

It had been nearly a month since the day of Bobby’s accident. Three and a half long weeks since he’d last kissed her. Held her.

It would have been easier if she’d given him the cold shoulder. If she’d gone all icy-cool and distant. It’s what every other woman he knew would have done.

But Penelope wasn’t every other woman.

He didn’t know if it was because they had to work together, or if it was because she was just ridiculously decent, but she was every bit as friendly to him now as she’d been since the very first day she’d met him.

Of course, there were slight differences.

She didn’t meet his eyes anymore. Sure, she came close—he was sure other people didn’t notice the way her eyes would sort of stop just shy of his when they were talking to each other in a meeting.

But he noticed. He felt it.

She also didn’t touch him. Not ever.

She’d playfully sock Lincoln in the arm, or give Jake a high five, but she steered clear of Cole.

But she still greeted him every morning. Still popped into his office unexpectedly, even invited him to lunch a couple of times. Or, like now, she was chatting on about their upcoming meeting with the Web team as though nothing had happened between them.

As though they hadn’t been lovers. As though he hadn’t ruthlessly dumped her on a Manhattan sidewalk outside a fucking hospital.

“Cole?”

“Yeah.”

She gave him a confused smile. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “Guess I was distracted.”

She nodded, understanding as ever. “How are things? Bobby’s still on the mend?”

Damn it, Tiny, stop being so goddamn sweet after I treated you like garbage.

“Yeah, he’s good,” Cole replied. “Bruises have faded almost completely. The cast holds him up some, but he’s gotten the hang of crutches. And turns out his new lady love has been quite the doting little nurse.”

Penelope smiled. “Carly?”

“Yeah. She’s sweet.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to suggest that Penelope should meet her sometime, but of course she wouldn’t.

And whose fault is that, fuckwad? Cole barely flinched as his subconscious scolded him. He’d grown used to it.

The elevator opened on their floor and Cole stepped aside so Penelope could exit first.

They walked side by side toward their respective offices, together, but not.

The separation made every part of Cole hurt, and he didn’t have the faintest clue what to do about it.

“Hey, Penelope.”

She paused as she unlocked her office door and looked up. “Hmm?”

I miss you. I want you back. I’m so fucking sorry.

“Do you think you could email me those mock-ups you’re working on? They’re better than mine, so I’m thinking we should just submit yours at the meeting today.”

“Sure thing.” She flashed him another easy smile and went into her office, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Cole stood there for several seconds, staring at her door, wanting to walk in but not knowing what to say.

Lincoln appeared at his side, chewing one of his disgusting power bars. “This is getting pathetic, dude.”

“Shut up,” Cole growled, half walking, half marching toward his own office.

Lincoln, being Lincoln, didn’t take the hint and fell into step beside him. “Nobody blames you that you screwed it up. I mean, we all expected it.”

“Oh, good, another pep talk,” Cole said. He tried to shut his office door in Lincoln’s face, but his friend pushed it open again and made himself comfortable in Cole’s guest chair as Cole pulled his laptop out of his bag.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lincoln asked.

“Nope,” Cole said, snapping his laptop into its docking station. “Didn’t want to talk about it yesterday. Or the day before. Or last week. Don’t want to talk about it now.”

“No problem, man, I totally get it,” Lincoln said. “I don’t like to talk about my women issues either.”

“Thank you,” Cole said, settling in his chair and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Except…”

Christ.

“I don’t really have any woman issues,” Lincoln said. “So…”

“Yeah, how is that?” Cole asked, narrowing his eyes at the other man. “You’ve dated five times the number of women I have—”

“More like ten,” Lincoln interrupted.

“—And yet you don’t have a single bitter ex, and I’ve never seen you so much as the tiniest bit tripped up by anything female.”

Lincoln spread his hands out to his sides. “Eat it up, Sharpe. This is a gift.”

“Whatever,” Cole muttered as he clicked open his email.

Lincoln leaned forward. “Give me a hint. Was it because she finally admitted that I was the better kisser? Was it the fact that you think burgers count as dinner? Dude, you didn’t cheat, did you?”

“I didn’t cheat,” Cole ground out. “And why do you assume it was my fault?”

“Wasn’t it?”

Cole sighed and gave up the pretense of getting any work done while Lincoln was still talking at him. “Yes.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Lincoln said. “And that’s actually good news.”

Cole gave him a look. Nothing about him and Penelope acting like strangers was good news.

“No, it is,” Lincoln insisted. “If you’re the one who screwed up, the ball’s in your court. You’ve got a chance to fix things.”

Cole looked away.

“Sharpe. You do want to fix things?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Sure, sure,” Lincoln said with an exaggerated nod. “I’m sure it’s very complicated. Explain?”

Cole fiddled with his computer mouse. Was there any good way to tell your guy friend that you’ve flipped out? That you’ve realized loving someone was hard, and weren’t sure your heart could handle the rough parts?

The moment he’d heard Bobby had been in an accident, Cole’s whole life had stopped and then tilted upside down. What would happen if he allowed himself to love someone else as much as he loved Bobby?

“Still waiting,” Lincoln whispered.

“The thing is, Mathis,” Cole said slowly. “Everyone acts like the moment you realize you’re in love is the big gotcha moment. But there’s actually a moment after that…the one where you realize you could lose the person you love.”

Lincoln said nothing, and Cole glanced up, surprised by his friend’s uncharacteristic quietness.

Lincoln had gone rigid, his eyes completely vacant. He looked a bit like someone had stabbed him in the chest.

Cole frowned in concern. “Hey. You okay?”

Lincoln shook his head slightly, and Cole watched as his eyes refocused, his mind obviously coming back from whatever dark place he’d just gone to.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lincoln’s voice had none of its usual energy as he stood up abruptly. “But, I get it. The whole loving and losing someone thing. It’s a big risk. No lectures here.”

“Wait, Mathis. Hey! Lincoln!” Cole called after his friend, but Lincoln was already gone.

“What was that about?” Cole muttered. He thought about going after his friend, but instinct told him Lincoln had nothing to say on the matter, at least not yet.

Plus, maybe now they could come to an understanding.

Let sleeping dogs lie when the dogs involved women.

Or something.

Cole had finally turned his attention to his in-box when Cassidy called. After they greeted each other, there was a pause. Then Cassidy said, “You didn’t hear this from me.”

“Okay?”

There was another pause, longer this time, and Cole rolled his eyes. “Cassidy, right now I’m not hearing anything.”

“Todd Kolb is in the office today.”

“Well, shit, Cassidy,” Cole said. “Does the NSA know? Should we call the CIA?”

Todd Kolb was a prissy, fussy type who was a bigwig of a major sporting goods store that frequently advertised in Oxford. Todd tended to think that being one of their biggest accounts entitled him to hanging out in the office whenever he felt like it. The guy could be an awkward clinger, but he was harmless.

“Yeah, well…you heard that his uncle just bought the New York Rangers?”

“What kind of senior sports editor would I be if I didn’t know that?”

“Co–sports editor,” Cassidy corrected. “Which is sort of why I’m calling—”

“As opposed to taking the fifteen-second walk to my office?”

“Yeah, well, didn’t really want to be within firing range when I told you this….”

Cole’s eyes narrowed. “Told me what?”

“Todd Kolb’s taking Penelope to the Rangers game tonight. And a late dinner afterward. It would seem they’re kind of…dating.”

Cole’s ears rang.

“Come again?”

“Nope. I’m not repeating it. Didn’t even want to say it the first time. Just…damn it, Cole, get it together.”

The line went dead in Cole’s ear and he slowly put the phone back.

Let her go, he told himself.

Penelope deserved happiness, and if happiness came in the arms of another man—

“Nope. Not gonna happen.” Cole stood so quickly his chair flipped backward, but he didn’t pause to right it.

He had a woman to win back.