Текст книги "Blow"

Автор книги: Kim Karr

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

DAY 4

LOGAN

Headlights shined in the window.

My eyes scanned the two circles of white that dissolved into the darkness. Stuck somewhere between alertness and grogginess, it took me a moment to figure out where I was.

Elle’s.

Fuck!

Instantly, I snapped awake.

Drenched in a cold sweat and breathing hard, I managed to heave myself out of bed and over to the window without waking Elle. Taillights blinked down the road. I fucking hated that she lived on a corner.

The digital clock read 2:40 and I decided to slide back into bed for another hour. I should have already left. We’d redressed when I was planning on it earlier but then she’d asked me to stay. Now, I couldn’t. I wanted to tell her I was leaving before I actually did and I didn’t want to wake her yet.

I walked the line between right and wrong.

Sometimes towed it.

But tried really hard not to cross it.

Yet, her father was a man I might just kill with my bare hands if I ever laid eyes on him. To do what he’d done to his wife and children was unforgivable, and in his case I’d take the role of judge, jury, and executioner if I had to. I didn’t know him. Didn’t know his background. I didn’t have to—he, like Tommy, was a coward of a man who preyed on women to make himself feel more like a man, and like Tommy, he was a man I’d love to bring to his knees.

Tommy, though, was forbidden territory—her father was not.

My brain started swimming with everything going on in my life, but then her body found mine and we melded together like two puzzle pieces. I found a strange peace in the feel of her skin against mine. Giving in to it, I closed my eyes and let the calmness suck me in.

I jolted awake.

Fuck, it was dawn.

I’d only meant to sleep another hour. I shouldn’t have stayed here all night with my SUV parked right in front of her place.

I knew better.

I fucking knew better.

I did.

Needing a moment, I didn’t move. I stayed where I was, with my heart racing and my breathing as heavy as though I’d been running.

A few calming breaths had me thinking more clearly. Regardless of how reckless I felt right now, I wouldn’t have changed anything. There was no way I could have left.

She needed me.

Elle needed me and I had to be there for her.

With that very thought in my mind, I opened my eyes to look at her. She was in my arms and although I knew it was wrong, it still felt so right.

Last night we crossed a line we shouldn’t have. A line that brought us closer, and considering my current situation, that was unfair. She told me things about herself that were difficult, not only for her to say but for me to hear. She didn’t know what she was involving herself in with me. I was an asshole for not confessing my sins right then. She spilled her heart and I couldn’t even tell her what being with me meant to her safety. I wanted to. I tried to. I just couldn’t. I knew if I did, she’d make me go, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

Not yet.

I had to hold on until Friday for her sake, and mine.

I had to keep her safe or I’d lose my mind.

That was the bottom line.

I drew a deep breath and exhaled.

When I did, a hand reached up and touched the side of my face. It was a delicate touch. A soft one.

One that I really liked.

One I should push away.

One I knew I wouldn’t.

I wanted to feel it.

I wanted to do more than feel it.

I wanted to own it.

The thought made me sit up.

Dangerous.

My heart was still pounding and it wasn’t slowing down.

I’d made some stupid decisions in my life and some not-so-stupid ones. The one to stay away from anyone who might get hurt because of me was one of the smarter ones. And I’d been doing that. Doing great at it. It had become my way of life. But it had seemed so much easier before her. Was she a “before” and “after” marker in my life? Was I destined to have an after Emily, a before Kayla, and now a before and after Elle?

Fuck!

The thought had my head spinning.

“Good morning,” she said into my ear in a low, slightly purring voice.

That was all I needed. I would take care of whatever I had to take care of, but right now, I needed her in my life. I’d never felt anything like what I was feeling for her with anyone else. I couldn’t let her go—not yet.

She was behind me, on her knees, with her arms wrapped around my waist. I had already been revved up from her earlier touch, and now I was instantly hard. Around her, it didn’t take much. If she thought I made her feel good, I wished she could feel how I felt with just the sensation of her fingertips.

Alive.

Electric.

Owned.

I twisted my body so I was facing her and then I lowered her down onto the mattress. I wanted to make her feel good and I was going to as long as she’d let me.

She blinked a little as if adjusting to the postdawn light, and when she looked at me with that seductive gaze, I knew she wanted me. Without hesitation I lowered my mouth to kiss her.

Her lips were soft.

Her mouth welcoming as she opened it to let me in.

Our tongues collided and all thoughts of anything but her left my mind. Needing her, I rolled on top of her. She felt so good. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know what she was doing to me right now. But I didn’t. I was careful to keep my thoughts to myself. Still, I wanted to let her know how much I wanted her. That my need to drive inside her was so deep, I couldn’t think of anything else.

That her crazy thoughts were my same crazy thoughts.

I might not be able to tell her with words, but I could definitely show her how I was feeling.

Control left me as that thought lingered in my mind. Devouring her mouth in gulping, sweeping movements, I had to have every part of her.

My pulse raced as my hands drifted up her body. From her slender hips, to that taut stomach, up to those perfectly shaped breasts. This was the first time that we’d be fucking when her niece wasn’t nearby and I hoped I drove Elle so far over the edge, she screamed my name when I made her come—over and over.

I wanted to give her that.

At least that.

We were dressed, and the first place to start was getting naked. I lifted my shirt over my head and her eyes watched me. I swear I saw her lick her lips. It was her turn and I pulled her top off, making sure to skim her skin with my fingers. She shivered a bit and I grinned at how her body reacted to my touch.

Refocusing, I looked at her. Her bra was black and lacy, and I sucked in a breath when it came into full focus. I think my fingers were trembling when I ran them around the fabric to her back to unclasp it.

With a simple toss, the bra hit her floor and her perfect breasts were all I saw. Overcome with the need to touch them, squeeze them, suck her nipples into small peaks, I had my mouth and hands on them in less than a heartbeat, but then I remembered to slow down.

I could take my time with her today and wring every ounce of pleasure out of her—make sure she knew how much she turned me on.

My fingers skated over her smooth skin and her body responded instantly. In a way I’d never watched a woman before, I watched her. This was as much for her as for me. I was captivated not only by her actions, not only by her beauty, but by her body language—she was telling me she wanted me in the only way she knew how.

Message received.

Holding each breast, I didn’t let my gaze wander as I lightly massaged them, pinching her nipples between my fingers when I did. Her eyes were hooded and I knew she was enjoying this.

The eye contact was too much, I felt a little too exposed, so I lowered my mouth, trailing my tongue down her neck, using my teeth to guide me.

She trembled with each inch downward and I knew just how much she liked it.

I kept going until I reached my hands. Keeping one in place, I let the other drift lower as my mouth took over its actions. With my tongue, I licked around her nipple over and over. She writhed beneath me and I went further, tugging it with my teeth and then pulling it into my mouth to suck on it.

Her skin tasted so good.

She arched her back when my free hand slid under the elastic of her sweatpants. My pulse was racing in anticipation of tasting her pussy. And I was tasting her pussy today.

Her body was responsive and the more I touched her, the more untamed she became.

She was letting go.

I loved it.

I couldn’t wait to do more, but I was taking this slow. Letting her decide if something was too much.

My mouth drifted to her other breast and I repeated my actions.

Lick.

Tug.

Suck.

At the same time my mouth moved, my fingers dipped inside her panties. She was so wet. So wet I couldn’t resist slipping a finger inside her right away.

She moaned when I did, so I added another. She moaned even louder this time and her hips bucked, so I added just one more. Stretching her, fucking her with my fingers, my own body felt explosive. I was worried I might come before I was even inside her.

She was still moaning and I lifted my head to see her again. I had to see her. Her body started to shake and her fingers gripped the sheets so tightly, her knuckles were turning white.

She was wild.

I bit my lip to stop from telling her to let go.

My fingers slid in and out. She was tight, wet, and ready. Her eyes closed and a blissful look overtook her. “Oh, God,” Elle cried out in pleasure.

Not yet, I thought. Not yet.

I removed my fingers. I wanted to replace them with my mouth. I wanted her to come with my tongue inside her, not my fingers.

Her eyes were wide now—questioning why I’d stopped. I answered quickly by letting my lips trail down her body. Taking my time no longer an option, I pulled her pants off at the same time.

She lifted her hips and assisted me. She was just as ready for this as I was. Her hands gripped my shoulders tightly and I swear she was urging me to move faster down to her pussy.

I obliged.

It thrilled me how much she wanted this.

Sweetness was on the tip of my tongue as soon as it circled her clit. She tasted unlike anyone; she tasted like something I wanted to taste more than once. I knew I was in serious trouble. Once was never going to be enough. I didn’t know if I could ever have enough of this.

“Logan!” she cried out when I found her clit with first my lips then my tongue.

My insides clenched, thrilled that she was vocally expressing how she felt. My hands wrapped around to her tight little ass and I pulled her closer to me. I didn’t just want to eat her . . . I wanted to devour her. Her body trembled and she called out my name louder and louder with each passing second.

I knew she had come, but once wasn’t enough. I went back, first slowly tasting her but only for a bite or two. Then I hungrily devoured her like I knew I had to.

She tried to push her body into the mattress as if she couldn’t take anymore.

I wanted to tell her to just feel it, but I didn’t.

I didn’t have to.

Her grip tightened in my hair and she cried out, “I need more of you.”

Those words had my cock throbbing to be inside her. Torn between finishing what I’d started and giving her what she wanted, I managed to pull myself away from her sweetness and stood up. Like a bolt of lightning, I shoved my pants off and stood fully ready in front of her.

She reached for me across the bed. Her fingers wrapped around my hard cock and I found myself starting to tremble.

Again, I had to take a few moments to admire her. Her smooth, pale skin, her seductive, stormy eyes, the cute sprinkling of freckles across her nose, her lush lips, and those perfect breasts—all her, all things I feared I would never stop wanting.

Finding my way back beside her, I let her set the pace. It was so unlike me to give anyone control, but I knew she needed to have it. Lying beside her, I collapsed on my back.

Her hand was still wrapped around me, stroking me, up then down, slow then faster, just the way I liked it. My eyes drifted closed and I let myself feel her. I think you could say I gave myself up to her. I was hers to do with what she wanted.

Oh. Fuck.

Her mouth was on me.

My cock was inside it.

The tip hit the back of her throat.

Her teeth grazed my shaft.

My balls started to tighten. I was going to come. I had to stop her. I needed to come inside her.

I moved fast.

Sitting back on my knees, I pulled her onto my lap. We were aligned perfectly, my cock nudged the flesh of her opening. Her hands gripped my shoulders and she lifted herself. Anticipation had my heart pumping. I’d never wanted to be inside someone so badly.

“Condom,” I whispered with a wince. Hating to have to speak. Hoping like hell I hadn’t just put an end to this.

In a raspy voice she made me look at her. “Logan,” she said.

I found her eyes.

She was fine, smiling even. She glanced toward her night table where my gun lay. “Is your wallet downstairs?”

With a nod, I dropped my head to her shoulder. No. No. No. Way to ruin the moment.

“I’m clean and safe,” she said.

I lifted my head and met her gaze. “I am too.”

I felt her fingers dig down into the bone of my shoulder at the same time her lower body rose and then eased down . . . right onto my cock.

Oh fuck.

Warm.

Wet.

Tight.

Enveloping.

Sensation after sensation paraded through me. I’d never been inside a woman without a latex barrier. The feeling was incredible.

I had to take control. I needed to be all the way inside her—from tip to base. I wanted to feel her around my entire cock. My hands gripped her hips and I eased her farther down on me.

More.

More.

It still wasn’t enough.

I needed more.

I could tell she did too.

This angle prevented me from slipping all the way inside her. Sliding my hands up her back, I eased her to the mattress and hovered over her. As soon as I plunged inside her, her legs wrapped around me.

That was it.

I was all the way in.

She was moaning.

I knew she felt what I was feeling.

I knew I was groaning, but I had to. I felt like a teenage boy. A horny teenage boy. I couldn’t control myself. I found her mouth to stifle the noise I was making but I was pretty certain her noises were louder, drowning me out.

“Look at me,” she commanded.

Her demand slowed my relenting pace but only for a moment, because as soon as I did look at her, lust and desire were all I saw.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. Thrust for thrust, she met each and every one. My cock pulsed and I pumped my hips into her. I lowered to my elbows, straining to keep control. She gripped my shoulders, holding on so tightly her fingernails dug into my skin and I could feel cool pricks of blood pooling around them.

I didn’t care.

Trying to push deeper, wanting to be as far inside her as I could, I kept my pace fast but even—quick thrusts that allowed me the luxury of not leaving her warmth for long. Everything about her was so sweet. The feeling of being buried deep inside her was one I never wanted to lose. A loud growl-like groan stuttered out of me as I tried to hold on for her, but I couldn’t. Letting go, I watched her face and hoped the bliss I saw on it meant she was coming too.

She was.

She moaned, “Oh God,” and I could feel her walls tightening around my cock.

The feeling pushed me off kilter.

It was unlike anything I had ever felt.

Absorbing it, taking it, owning it, I let myself feel it without fear.

She gasped, and I could tell her orgasm was rocketing through her like the magnitude of the one that owned me right now.

Then everything went quiet.

All I wanted to do was hold on to her for dear life, because I was pretty sure I was going to die in the unbelievable pleasure I was basking in. We came in unison, our eyes glued to each other. Looking at her, I knew she had no doubt as to who I was and how I was making her feel.

Fuck, it felt so good—seeing the ecstasy on her face, hearing it in the sounds she was making. After a beat, I let myself go. When I did, I couldn’t hear anything. It was the loudest silence I’d ever heard in my life. Out of nowhere, my vision went a little hazy, and there was a gentle ache that radiated around all parts of my cock—all reminders of the intensity we were sharing.

When I was spent, I dropped down and buried my face in her neck. After a few minutes I was able to move, and I rolled over and pulled her to my chest. She smiled against my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I had to say something, so I murmured in her hair, “That felt so good.”

She lifted her head and her beautiful eyes danced in the light. “More than good.”

With a grin, I nodded in concurrence.

More than good, the truest words ever spoken.

ELLE

What had I been missing?

If this was it, I had a lot of making up to do.

In the midst of all the chaos in my life right now, Logan was a welcome distraction. The post-sex glow I was feeling had to be plastered across my face like a neon sign. True to both our natures, we didn’t stay wrapped in each other’s arms for long. Cuddling, snuggling, nestling, or whatever you want to call it didn’t appear to be either of our things. We were lying next to each other, but neither of us was speaking.

Maybe we were both thinking about what had just taken place?

My phone rang and we separated from each other. I rolled onto my back. Logan shifted to his feet before me.

Distracted by him, I didn’t reach to answer it. The mere sight of him made my eyelashes flutter, my throat burn, and my heart pound. He hadn’t shaved and his hair fell forward as he moved, making him look impossibly sexy. The hint of stubble I was staring at had just rubbed against the sensitive skin of my face, my stomach, and everywhere else, but the yearning I felt for him was still raging—I couldn’t believe it but I wanted more.

Wasting no time, he pulled up his pants and zipped them. Standing before me bare-chested, he looked hotter than sin.

His eyes, as usual, weren’t on mine. Yet he must have felt my gaze because soon enough those lustful hazel pools were looking at me. He reached for his shirt but before he pulled it on, he leaned down and kissed me. “I’ve got to go into work this morning. I’m going to run back to my hotel and shower. Will you be okay here until later?”

I bit my lip. “Yes, of course.”

He eyed me and I wasn’t certain what he was looking for.

Did he want me to say I’d miss him?

At that, I laughed a little and jokingly quipped, “Don’t get too caught up in me.”

“It’s a little late for that,” he said with a wink.

My heart felt like it might explode a thousand times over. It was my turn to look away. He was too much to look at and I averted my gaze back to his body. I’d allow myself the luxury of this sexual affair. I deserved it. I also knew not to read any more into it than what it was about. Plain and simple, it was about the fucking.

My eyes drifted. I licked my lips at the sight of the way his pants hung low on his hips, and I took in the perfection of his chest, the muscles in his arms, the line of his collarbone up to his neck. The jaw I was desperate to kiss, to taste.

I could almost feel my hands sliding inside those pants and I sucked in a deep breath as I imagined the feel of his warm, thick cock—the one I’d just felt. My pulse was racing at the thought and when I finally raised my eyes back to his beautiful face, he was watching me curiously.

“Elle, your phone is ringing again. Maybe you should answer it. Whoever it is has called twice now.”

I was on the other side of the bed and as I rolled toward it, he grinned and reached for it.

He glanced down and handed it to me. “Here, it’s Peyton.”

I blinked out of my trance and tapped my screen. “Hello,” I answered, and let that warm tingle I was still feeling continue to caress its way through my veins while I forced myself to look at the clock. It was early even for Peyton to be calling.

Logan tucked his gun in his waistband and was walking toward the door.

“Elle, I hope I didn’t wake you. I know it’s early, but I’m in the hospital and wanted you to know I won’t be able to make it in to work today,” Peyton said warily.

My heart stopped and I quickly sat up. “Hospital? What happened? Are you okay?”

Machines beeping in the background told me she couldn’t be, yet she sounded like she always did—fine. “Yes, or I will be. Some jerk attacked me last night after I left the boutique. A few cuts here and there, but nothing major and certainly nothing to worry about. You know me—I’m tough.”

My pulse was literally in my ears. “You were attacked?” I gasped in question, unable to believe it.

Logan was stepping out of my room when his spine straightened and he jerked around. His body language had me concerned about more than just Peyton.

“Yeah. Some asshole looking to get his jollies jumped me and pulled me into an alley when I was walking to my car.”

Covering my mouth, trying to find my pulse, and feeling awful for her, I didn’t know what to say or what to ask. “But you’re not hurt?” was my only concern.

Stupid question. She was in the hospital.

Her voice was firm. “No, not really. He just scared the shit out of me.”

“What did the police say?”

She laughed. I swore she laughed. “They aren’t certain yet. I can’t ID him, so there isn’t much to go on. The creeper wore a ski mask and I didn’t get a good look at his build at all. It was just too dark. But I think I hurt him because when he took off, he limped away. The police think it was an attempted mugging gone wrong.”

I gasped again. “Did he take your purse?”

“No. Weird, right?”

“Muggers don’t usually attack you and then leave your purse behind. Why would they think that?”

“Who knows? If you ask me, the guy had an agenda.”

Still trying to process all of this, I asked, “What do you mean, he had an agenda?”

“I don’t know. Like it was a dare or a gang initiation. He grabbed me, pulled me into the alley, and with his knife, sliced through my clothing right to my stomach to start carving the letter E on it. Freak. Somehow, I managed to free the chopstick I had holding my hair up and then I plunged it into his thigh. He screamed, and someone started shouting at him. That’s when he ran. The person shouting was a homeless man. He hurried over to me and I gave him my phone to call 911. The ambulance arrived quickly and I was kept overnight for a dose of IV antibiotics, but I’m being released this morning.”

“Peyton, oh my God, a knife!” I cried. “But you’re okay? You’re certain?”

Logan was next to me now, looking really pale. “What exactly happened?” he asked, expelling all the air from his lungs.

Covering the microphone with my hand, I whispered what she’d just told me.

He bristled and looked like he wanted to jump out of his skin or maybe lose his stomach. “Ask her if he said anything,” Logan said.

Peyton was talking. “That man was really nice. I have to find him.”

Perplexed, I gave Logan a curious look. “Peyton,” I interrupted her.

“Right. I’m droning. Honestly, Elle, I’ll be fine.”

“Did the guy who attacked you say anything?” I asked her, wondering why Logan wanted to know that.

There were voices in the background. “Yeah, he told me to tell that dog he’d been warned.”

“Dog? That makes no sense.”

A noise escaped Logan’s throat. His hands were clenched into fists and he looked like he was a loaded gun and ready to shoot himself through the wall.

“Yes. I know. He was a crazy tweaker if you ask me.”

My mind became a maze of impossibility. “I’m so sorry. What hospital are you at? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

The voices grew louder. “No, Elle, that’s not necessary. My mother is here to take me to her house. I’m so sorry, but I’ll have to miss a few days of work.”

Tears welled in my eyes. “Don’t you worry about work. What can I do for you?”

She inhaled a breath. “Nothing. Listen, I have to go—the doctor just walked in. I got everything restocked yesterday. There’s nothing for you to do today. Any deliveries made will be redelivered tomorrow, so you don’t have to go in. Tomorrow will be crazy enough for you.”

“Peyton, stop. Don’t worry—I’ll take care of everything.”

“I know. I know. I’ll call you when I get to my mother’s house.”

“Take care,” I said, and hung up.

“Tell me again, and don’t leave anything out—what exactly happened to Peyton?” Logan asked in a rush.

My voice became one giant exhalation as I told him everything, from the letter E on her stomach to what her attacker had said.

“He said the word dog. You’re sure?”

“Yes, why?”

“We have to go.” Logan’s voice was low and shaky.

Something tight twisted in my gut.

Concern.

Fear.

The unknown.

I felt myself start to tremble and pulled the sheets up to cover my naked body. “What are you talking about?”

With unrepressed determination, Logan was picking up my clothes and tossing them on the bed. My bra. My shirt. My panties. My sweatpants. “Get dressed now. We have to leave.”

Apprehension rang through me. “What’s going on?”

He stood tall, his shoulders broad, but wariness was all I could see. “Elle, please get dressed, pack a bag, and meet me downstairs. I’ll explain everything when I get you back to my hotel.”

I stood up, taking the sheet with me. “Logan, you’re scaring me. Do you think Peyton’s attack had something to do Michael and Lizzy?”

With quick strides, he came over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “No. Peyton was attacked because she was seen with me. Now do as I said and I’ll explain everything when we get to my place.”

Fear seized me. I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I knew he was telling the truth. The question was . . . should I stay with him or should I run?

“Elle, listen to me. We need to leave. And you have to come with me. I can keep you safe.”

Safe.

Could he keep me safe?

“What about Michael and Clementine?”

“They aren’t in any danger right now. Hurry, and I promise I’ll explain.”

Drawing in a breath, I looked at him again and knew I had to trust him. “Give me ten minutes.”

With a heavy sigh, he nodded and left the room.

The air felt thinner with him gone but not necessarily any easier to breathe.

Logan eyed the cars stacked ahead as if trying to determine how he could maneuver around them. All I saw were their red taillights in a flashing line of stop and go that was never going to end. No alternate was available in the morning traffic and five miles or fifty didn’t matter—it was going to take an eternity to get to his hotel.

The day was overcast and colder than yesterday. Staring out the window, I watched the birds as they flew by, moving at a much faster speed than we were. I was feeling twitchy. I needed to know what was going on. “Talk to me.”

I could see his jaw clench. He was waging a battle from within.

“It’s okay, Logan, just tell me.

His chest rose as he inhaled a breath. “What I’m going to tell you isn’t going to paint me in a good light. I was young, and stupid. I thought I knew what I was doing, but you have to know how much I regret what happened.”

“What you did when you were younger won’t make me think any differently about you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He let out a huff. “Trust me, it will.”

“Logan, please, tell me what you think happened to Peyton.”

He shifted in his seat and his eyes scanned every inch of me. The slow motion of his stare made my heart race even faster. He opened his mouth and it was as if a chill cascaded around us in the confined space. His tone was distant, direct, matter-of-fact. “It’s not what I think. It’s what happened.”

For as strong as I was, for as courageous as I wanted to be, I was suddenly very afraid. I pressed my lips together and stared out of the glass to wait for what came next.

It wasn’t what I expected.

His hand was on me.

Fingertips softly searching to lock between mine.

That scared me even more.

Ready to burst, I turned toward him. “Just tell me.”

Those hazel pools looked murky as they flashed at me one more time before he looked away and finally, he began to speak. “When I fifteen,” he started, “I met this girl. Her name was Emily.”

Something inside me felt like it might explode. I wasn’t sure what was coming, but I knew it wasn’t going to be anything good—it was in his tone.

“My mother was spending more and more time in New York City and my father and I were staying at my grandfather’s house a lot back then. Anyway, Emily was interested in me.”

I interrupted him. “Emily, is she the girl I remind you of?” I wasn’t sure why I thought that, but his tone was reminiscent of the tone in which he’d told me I reminded him of someone he’d once known.

He gave me a slight nod.

I wondered why I’d bothered to ask that question. I already knew she was. “Sorry, go on.”

He pulled his arm away and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “I had a lot going on in my life with, my parents on the verge of divorce and my grandfather trying to introduce me to a world my parents wanted me to stay away from. I was a rebellious teen looking for an outlet. Looking to have a good time. Then I saw her. It was summertime and we were all hanging out in the park at the top of Savin Hill. She was there with her friends and the only one not wearing a bikini. I asked around. Who was she? Where did she live? Turned out Emily was not only the sister of a dude I hated, but she was forbidden. And if that didn’t make me want her all the more.”

“What do you mean, forbidden?”

“Everyone knew she was off-limits. She was from the other side of Dorchester Avenue. A Catholic girl who went to a Catholic school. She practically wore a chastity belt. What I didn’t know at the time was that she also happened to have lunatics for her father and brother. I liked the challenge, the danger of it all. It took some time, but eventually she latched onto me,”

I tried not to parallel Logan, the teen, with Logan, the man, but it difficult. Was that what I was to him—a challenge? The thrill of danger?

God, I hoped not.

“I know what you’re thinking. And no, that’s not what this is.” He motioned between the two of us. “I’m not that same lost kid anymore who thought he could rule the world with money and power.”

I pushed my doubts aside. This wasn’t about me—it was about him. “I’m fine. Go on.”

He assessed me for a long time.

I gave him a slight nod to let him know I was okay.

“For a while, I thought I loved her, but then I realized that was my friend James talking, making me think that. Don’t get me wrong; I liked hanging out with her. It made me forget everything else I had going on. But I wasn’t looking for all the shit that would come with telling her father or my grandfather, and she was cool with that until one day when she wasn’t. Out of the blue, she told me she wanted to tell them.”