Текст книги "She's So Dead to Us"

Автор книги: Kieran Scott

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

june

Okay, what the hell am I gonna get Shannen for her birthday? Doesn’t she have, like, everything?

Do you think Jake Graydon is going to take

Ally Ryan to the party?

Wait, what? Are those two a thing now?

Uh, yeah! Didn’t you hear? They totally went to see

the new Christian Bale on Saturday night.

Unbelievable. A Norm snagged the unsnaggable Crestie.

Whatever. Ally Ryan’s reascension was inevitable.

Why?

Because. She’s Ally Ryan.

      ally

The Monday morning after my first official date with Jake, I basically air walked into school. He’d held my hand throughout the entire movie, even when his arm went dead on the armrest. (He spent ten minutes afterward surreptitiously trying to shake out the pins and needles.) I figured that when the movie was over he’d drive us right up to the lake again, but he didn’t. We grabbed some ice cream at Scoops and walked around town for a while, and then he’d driven me home and kissed me at the door.

Which was so delicious it just made me wish we had gone up to the lake. But there was time for that. We were together now. And we both had our licenses. We could go to the lake whenever we wanted. A thrill went through my body at the very thought. Me and Jake. Together.

I was still grinning when I came around the corner into my locker hallway, but my smile quickly died. Shannen and Chloe were waiting for me.

Okay. This meant one of two things. Either they had heard about my date with Jake and were here to tell me to back off, get a life, and find a Norm boyfriend. Or they’d heard about my date with Jake and were here to surrender. I honestly didn’t know which it would be, but I lifted my chin and walked right by them, pretending not to care.

“Here to invite me to another nonexistent party?” I asked, turning my back to them as I spun my lock.

“Sort of,” Shannen said.

“Not exactly,” Chloe corrected.

“Here.”

Shannen shoved a thick square black envelope in front of my face. It was tied with a silver grosgrain bow. Intriguing.

“What’s that?” I asked, popping open my locker.

“It’s an invitation to my birthday party,” she said.

“It’s a party, but we promise it exists,” Chloe said, moving into my line of sight by leaning back against the locker next to mine. She plucked the envelope from Shannen’s hand and held it out to me. “And we also promise it’s being held exactly where the invitation says it’s being held.”

My stupid heart all but stopped. An invitation to Shannen’s birthday was huge. Her mom threw the sickest parties this side of Manhattan, and Shannen only ever invited her one hundred closest friends. The parties were so legendary, she’d had to have bouncers outside the country club for her thirteenth and had hired more for her fourteenth after some sixth graders had managed to sneak in through a kitchen window. People cried over not getting invited to Shannen’s birthday. They had their moms call her mom and beg.

And here was an invitation all for me. I tore my eyes away from it and yanked my chem book out of my locker.

“No, thanks.”

“What? Everyone wants one of those,” Shannen said, incredulous.

“Call me crazy, but I don’t,” I said, turning to face her. “Not from you.”

Shannen sighed and took the envelope back from Chloe. They exchanged a patient look that made me want to stomp on both their toes and run. What would they do if I actually tried?

“If this is about the going away party, I told you. That was Faith’s idea,” Shannen said slowly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“And we didn’t know the cops were going to be there. I swear,” Chloe said, her green eyes serious.

I believed that Chloe didn’t know about the cops. If she had, she would have stopped it. The girl knew when to draw the line. She understood the difference between what was right and what was wrong. Shannen, however, had known. She was probably the one who had called them. For her it wasn’t about right or wrong. It was always about how much she could get away with.

“Ally, look . . . we know about you and Jake,” Shannen said, looking at the floor briefly. She tossed her bangs out of her face as she met my eyes again. “If you’re going to be with him . . .”

“Then you’re going to be with us,” Chloe finished.

I looked from one face to the other. Chloe seemed so sincere. Almost hopeful. It always seemed to be this way with her. Like she wanted things to be different. Like she felt bad about the way the other Cresties were treating me. But Shannen was a different story. She’d been messing with me from day one.

“Just like that,” I said, looking at Shannen. “One date with Jake and all of a sudden you want to hang out with me.”

Shannen lifted her shoulders. “He’s my best friend.”

I felt like a knife had just twisted inside my chest. I was her best friend not that long ago. She should have been doing this for me, but instead, I was the outsider—the one being grudgingly brought in to the group by association.

Jake held some serious power around here, and he didn’t even know it.

“So. Will you come?” Shannen asked, holding out the envelope again.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, snatching the invite and shoving it into my bag.

Shannen scowled. She wasn’t used to being turned down or put off. “Well, think fast. I need to do table arrangements by the end of the week, and my table is, obviously, the most important. So if you want to sit with Jake, I need to know you’re coming ASAP.”

Sitting with Jake. The thought sent a thrill through my heart. Okay. I had to think about this for a second. Shannen’s party was an event we could actually go to together. It might even make up for the whole prom fiasco. The image of Jake arriving at my door to pick me up, wearing some stunning suit, looking all coiffed, was insanely alluring. All I wanted was to be with him, and this was another chance to do that. Besides, if they really cared that much about Jake, they wouldn’t mess with me—his date—while he was standing right there. Right?

“Okay,” I said, closing the flap on my bag and snapping it shut. “I’ll come.”

Shannen smiled. “Good.”

Chloe actually hugged me. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

I forced myself to smile back and hoped for the best. But if this invite turned out to be some kind of joke, all bets—and bluffs—were off.

jake

Ally looked amazing. She was wearing this short black dress with skinny straps and a colorful sash thing right under the chest that tied in a bow in the back. And her hair was up with that curl grazing her neck. At some point tonight I was going to push that curl back and kiss that part of her neck. I was practically salivating at the thought of it.

“I like you in a suit,” Ally said, looking me up and down. I’d bought a new light-and-dark-blue striped tie for the occasion.

“Thanks. I like you in a dress,” I replied.

She blushed and looked down at her knees. “Thanks.”

We were standing right outside the open double doors to the country club’s main ballroom. Inside the music was pumping. A couple of girls walked by us, coming back from the bathroom, and shot us odd looks. I didn’t remotely care.

Ever since Shannen had told me she was inviting Ally, I’d been wondering why. Was it some kind of apology? Or was she trying to say she was going to accept her now that we were together? But tonight, I didn’t care. I was just happy that Ally was here.

“Hi, hon! Hello, Jake.”

Ally’s mother came up behind us with Dr. Nathanson. Both of them were all dressed up. Shannen’s mom had invited a few of her own friends, too, including Mrs. Ryan. We said hello, and Ally gave her mom a serious look.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ally asked her.

My heart gave a thump. I knew she was referring to that Sunday dinner when my mom had helped humiliate hers.

“Ally, we went over this. Danielle invited me, and she has been a good friend,” Ally’s mother said. “I’ve decided to just . . . rise above.” She shook her hair back and smiled.

“Okay,” Ally said. “We’ll see you in there.” Ally took a breath and stared through the doors after her mom and Dr. Nathanson. The room was dimly lit, strobe lights flashing, dozens of heads bobbing around in a sorry excuse for dancing. Over the music it was all screeches, squeals, laughter.

“So. You ready for this?” she asked.

I reached for her hand. It fit perfectly inside mine. “Ready.”

She grinned, and we walked inside. Together. Over our heads was a huge arc of black, pink, and silver balloons. The party had a fifties theme, which was Shannen’s mother’s idea. Vintage record albums dangled from the ceiling, there was a huge, illuminated jukebox behind the DJ, and all the waiters and waitresses were dressed in leather jackets or poodle skirts.

“Hey. The music didn’t come to a screeching stop,” Ally said, pretending to be confused.

“Yeah, and no one’s staring at us,” I replied, playing along.

“Wanna dance?” she asked.

“Not even a little bit,” I said.

She wiped her brow. “Good. Let’s get something to drink.”

I squeezed her hand as we walked down the steps and around the dance floor. I really liked this girl. Really a lot.

“Ally! Hey!”

Chloe appeared out of nowhere wearing a pink dress with a long skirt. Hammond was right behind her, wearing a pink tie of course.

“You look amazing! Love the dress.”

Ally smiled. “Thanks. I like yours, too.”

I greeted Hammond with a hand slap. Chloe hooked her arm through Ally’s and tugged her toward the bar. According to the old-school soda-shop signage, they were serving smoothies, milkshakes, and sodas. Unlike Mr. Appleby, Shannen’s mom wasn’t about to be serving us alcohol.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Chloe said. “This whole rivalry thing was getting exhausting, no?”

Ally’s brow creased. I bet she was wondering how Chloe could just act like it was okay to forget about the pranks and the yearlong cold shoulder. But that was Chloe. She never wanted to talk about anything unpleasant. I’d tried to explain to Ally about the conversation I’d had with Chloe at the prom—about how Chloe had never wanted to keep her out—but I think it came out all wrong. It was hard to tell her without letting her know I’d been talking about how much I liked her. And without making Shannen look bad.

“I mean, it’s not your fault, what your father did,” Chloe said, placing her tiny purse on the bar. “I just want the whole thing to be over so we can all be friends again.”

Ally glanced at Hammond, who looked away. My skin heated and I loosened my tie a bit. No one knew that I knew about the two of them, and for the millionth time, I wished I didn’t.

“What’ll ya have?” James Dean, aka the bartender, asked.

“Two milkshakes. Strawberry,” Chloe ordered. “Still your favorite?” she asked Ally.

“Yeah.” She looked uncomfortable. I was going to have to get her away from Chloe and Hammond soon.

“Don’t worry about us,” Hammond joked. “We’ll take care of ourselves.”

“Like the independent men you are?” Chloe replied with a smile.

“I’ll have a Coke,” I told James Dean as he left the milkshakes under the mixer.

“Sprite,” Hammond put in.

Once we all had our drinks, Chloe lifted hers in a toast.

“So, Ally, what do you think? Friends again?”

Ally glanced at Hammond. He sipped soda through his straw and pretended not to notice.

“Sure,” Ally said. “Friends.”

We all lifted our glasses and clinked. When Chloe came away with a pink milk moustache, Ally smiled, and I knew she was finally relaxing. It made me relax too.

Until I saw Shannen staring us down from across the dance floor, all smoldery in a slate gray dress and major eye makeup. What was she thinking? And why did she look so pissed off?

ally

It was going well. Really, really well. Chloe barely left my side all night, which meant Hammond was there too, but he and I mostly ignored each other. Shannen had invited Jessica and some of the other girls from the basketball team, so whenever Chloe hit the dance floor I still had people other than Jake to talk to. Aside from a few glares from Crestie girls—I wasn’t sure whether the glares were because I was there or because I was there with Jake, but I didn’t care—no one seemed to notice me.

Except Jake. Jake noticed me a lot. His hand was always in mine or on my back. Once he even sort of tickled his fingers across my neck and over my shoulder before giving me a squeeze. Every time he touched me I felt gorgeous and like I was the only girl in the room. Nothing else that had happened for the past ten months mattered at all. Jake and I were together.

But every now and then, I’d look at Chloe and feel a twist of guilt in my stomach. She was being so nice tonight. And acting relieved. As if this was the night she’d been waiting for as much as I had. What was she going to do if she ever found out what I’d done?

I decided to try not to think about it tonight. Tonight was supposed to be fun—a new beginning. There was always tomorrow for worrying obsessively.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour at the table making small talk and munching on appetizers, the DJ flipped on a slow song. Jake leaned back in his chair and eyed me tentatively.

“You wanna?”

I felt a pleasant stirring throughout my chest and all the way down to my toes.

“Sure.”

We got up, and he followed me to the dance floor. Everyone was either pairing off or vacating the area. I saw Shannen dancing with Josh Schwartz over by the DJ, and gave her a quick wave. She smiled back and lifted her hand from behind Josh’s neck. I hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to her tonight, other than to say “happy birthday.” She was so busy greeting all her guests and mingling with everyone.

“I’m probably going to have to dance with Shannen at some point,” Jake said, following my gaze as he slipped his arms around my waist.

I swallowed hard, trying not to blush at his closeness, but my heart was pounding in every pore, reverberating through every tiny hair on my arms and along the back of my neck. “She is the birthday girl,” I agreed.

“So you don’t mind?” he asked.

“Nah,” I said casually.

Jake titled his head. “Huh. I was kind of hoping you were the possessive type.”

I laughed as we turned in a tight circle. “Okay then,” I said, tightening my grip on his neck. “No dancing with anyone else. Tonight you’re all mine.”

Jake smiled but looked me dead in the eye. “No. From now on.”

My heart skipped. “What?”

“Yours,” he said simply, “from now on.”

ally

“All right, everyone, if I can have your attention, please!” the DJ announced. We were all sitting at our table at the top of the dance floor, having just finished our dinners. Everyone quieted down gradually as Shannen and her parents joined the DJ at the front of the room. “Shannen’s mother has put together a little video for the birthday girl’s big day, and she’d like to share it with us!”

A big screen scrolled down from the ceiling as Shannen hung her head, blushing and laughing. I looked at Chloe and grinned as Faith and Hammond rolled their eyes. Shannen’s mother did this every year, splicing together old family photos and videos and embarrassing Shannen. It was a time-honored tradition.

“I hope she still has the naked cowgirl picture in there,” Trevor said excitedly, crunching on some ice cubes.

“And the naked firefighter one,” Todd added.

“Shannen sure liked to play naked dress-up as a kid,” Trevor said with narrowed eyes.

“Is there anything the birthday girl would like to say before we get started?” the DJ teased, holding the microphone out to Shannen.

She took it with a smile and looked over at our table. “Just . . . enjoy the show!”

Everyone applauded, and someone in the back of the room let out a sharp whistle. The lights dimmed and the screen flickered to life. Jake slipped his arm around the back of my chair, and I cuddled into his side. He was all warm and smelled of spicy crisp soap. In that moment I felt entirely safe and was filled with a buoyant sense of possibility.

Yours, Jake had said. From now on. Every time I thought about it, my skin tingled.

The video started with a close-up shot of a white tiled floor and a wet leather boot. Then, suddenly, the camera swung upward and I was looking at a gleaming deli counter, fluorescent lights, and what appeared to be Faith’s back. I glanced at Faith in confusion. She was frozen, staring up at the screen, her eyes wide.

“Mr. Ryan? Oh my God! Is that you?” the Faith on the screen said.

My stomach completely dropped out of my body.

“Oh my God,” Jake said, sitting forward, sliding his arm away from my shoulders.

I barely even noticed, though. Because up on the screen, larger than life, was my father. He was standing behind some deli counter in an apron, looking scared. He said something, but I couldn’t make it out. The blood was rushing too loudly in my ears.

“What is this?” I mumbled.

Jake looked back at me. “Ally—”

Behind him, on the screen, my dad looked at the camera. “Are you—is that a camera phone?” he said.

“No,” Shannen’s voice replied. The picture whirled for a moment before refocusing on my dad’s face. “I just can’t seem to get any bars in here.”

“What the fuck is this?” Hammond said from across the table.

People were starting to turn around and stare at me, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might actually pass out. Where was this taken? When? Why was my father working at a deli?

I looked over at the parents’ table, trying to find my mom, but she wasn’t there. At least, I couldn’t see her. Then there was a commotion on the dance floor. It was Shannen and her mom. Her mother had a serious grip on Shannen’s arm and was talking through her teeth, gesturing up at the screen. Shannen gave an exaggerated shrug, like she had no idea what was going on, and just like that, I understood. Shannen and Faith had found my father. They’d taken this video without him knowing. And now, they were showing it to me—to everyone—to humiliate me. Shannen hated me so much she’d sabotaged her own mother’s birthday tradition just to mess with me.

“Hi, Mr. Ryan,” Hammond said on the video. He walked into view and shot the camera an annoyed look. “Sorry to surprise you like this. Shannen didn’t tell us where we were going.”

My face burned and tears stung my eyes. I looked at Hammond—the real Hammond—sitting across from me at the table. He turned his back to the screen, made a tent with his hands, and covered his nose and mouth, gazing back at me guiltily. My heart felt like it was melting under a hot iron. He knew where my father was. They all knew. Why hadn’t they told me? Were they all too busy laughing at poor Ally Ryan behind her back?

“What? I didn’t know he worked here,” Shannen said up on the screen. “Do you actually work here?”

God, she was so condescending. So awful.

“Well . . . yes. I do. I have . . . for about a year now,” my dad said. “Chloe’s father was kind enough to give me a job while I get back on my feet. I’ve been trying to get my old job back.”

I pushed back from my chair. I was going to throw up. I could feel the bile rising in my throat. On the dance floor, Mrs. Moore was accosting the DJ, trying to get him to stop the video.

“Yeah? And how’s that working out for ya?” Shannen asked my father. “I mean, it’s gotta be tough after you cheated dozens of people out of what, millions of dollars?”

A wave of laughter quickly shot through the room, then petered out. I pushed myself out of my chair.

“I have to get out of here,” I said to Jake.

“Ally, wait—”

“It . . . it wasn’t like that,” my dad said. “It’s complicated. You kids couldn’t understand—”

“Well, why don’t you try explaining it to us?” Faith shot back.

“How could you do this to me?” I said to Faith. “What’s the matter with you?”

Faith opened her mouth. She actually looked remorseful. On the screen behind her, my dad rubbed at his brow. “I . . . I didn’t . . . I never meant to . . .”

I started to turn away, my legs shaking so badly I could hardly even stand. That was when I spotted my mother. She was standing in the doorway with Gray, having just come back from the bathroom or from outside. Her hand was over her mouth, and she looked like she was about to pass out, burst into tears, or worse. I had to get to her.

“All right. That’s enough.”

I froze. The room—the tables, the balloons, the waiters—everything in front of me tilted. That was Jake’s voice. And it was coming through the speakers. Slowly, I turned around to look at the screen. The camera whirled, and there he was, clear as day. Jake reached out, took the camera, and the screen went black.

My whole body started to shake. He had been there. Jake was there. He’d seen my father. He’d seen him doing a minimum-wage job in a dirty apron getting humiliated by a bunch of kids. Everyone in the video had been wearing winter coats, which meant it was taken over the winter. Jake was there. He’d known for weeks and weeks where my father was. And he hadn’t told me.

The lights came up. Every single set of eyes in the room was trained on me. I looked down at Jake. He looked like he wanted to die.

“You knew?” I said, my voice trembling. “You knew?”

“Ally, I—”

“Don’t attack him,” Shannen said, crossing the dance floor. “He was just along for the ride.”

“Shannen!” her mother hissed.

Shannen ignored her and kept coming. She had this evil look on her face. So self-satisfied. So happy.

“How could you do this?” Chloe asked, standing up from the table.

“She deserves it, Chloe, trust me,” Shannen said.

I took a step back, but my legs were so weak I almost went down. I caught myself on the back of someone’s chair. Jake got up and reached for me, but I batted his arm away. My vision was blurred by tears. I didn’t know what to do, who to yell at, which way to go. All I knew was, I’d just seen my dad for the first time in two years. He was alive. He was working somewhere nearby. Yet he’d never bothered to contact us.

And everyone I knew had this information months ago.

“No. No. There was no reason for you to do this,” Chloe said, shaking her head. She turned to me. “Ally, I’m so sorry. We—”

“She hooked up with Hammond,” Shannen said.

I closed my eyes. Gasps everywhere. I couldn’t take much more of this. My heart and brain were still trying to process seeing my dad—being betrayed by Jake—and now this? Why? Why was she doing this to me?

“What?” Chloe said.

“The night she moved away,” Shannen said.

Hammond looked queasy. “How did you—”

“I walked in on you guys. I saw everything,” Shannen said. Then she turned to Chloe again. “She’s been lying to you all this time. They both have.”

Chloe’s shoulders curled. “Hammond? You didn’t.”

“It was nothing, Chlo,” he said, getting up. “It was a million years ago. We just—”

“Stop.” Tears sprang to Chloe’s eyes. She turned and shakily started for the door. I automatically went after her.

“Chloe. Wait. Let me—”

She whirled around.

“Don’t,” she said quietly through her teeth. “I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” She looked away for a moment, her chin trembling. “And all this time I’ve been defending you. . . .”

“Chloe, please.”

She took a deep breath and looked around, taking in the rapt audience. Chloe hated scenes, and here she was, smack in the middle of a huge one.

“I have to go,” she said, drawing herself up straight. “Do not follow me.”

And she was gone. Watching her retreat, my fingers curled into fists. As I turned to face the dance floor, I knew that everyone at all twenty tables was now focused, again, on me. What were they thinking? Did they feel sorry for me because of the video, or did they think I’d gotten what I deserved? Did they think Shannen was nuts for making a spectacle out of her birthday party, or were they just loving the drama? I looked around my table, where my former friends all sat, every last one of them except Shannen and Jake avoiding my gaze. He looked tortured. She looked devilishly happy.

And something inside me snapped. She was waiting for me to turn on my Payless heels and run, but she was about to be disappointed. I was not weak. I was not the girl who crawled away from scandal in the dead of night. That was not me. Not anymore.

“Ally, honey.” It was my mom, standing just behind me. “I think it’s time to go.”

“No,” I said firmly. “No. Shannen got to say what she wanted to say. Now it’s my turn.”

I looked Shannen in the eye and smiled through my tears.

“Wow. You really showed me, didn’t you?” I said loudly enough for everyone to hear. “But guess what? I’ll get over this stupid prank.” It wasn’t just a prank. It was way more than that. And at the moment, it didn’t feel like I would ever get over it, but she didn’t need to know that. “The person you really just hurt was Chloe.”

There was a flicker of doubt in Shannen’s triumphant eyes, but it passed. “I didn’t do anything. I just told her the truth.”

“The truth. Interesting,” I said. “I’ve got a piece of truth I could share right now, too, right?” I glanced past her at her parents for good measure. “Actually, there are a few interesting facts I could spill right now if I wanted to.”

Shannen’s face drained of color. She was terrified. Well, let her be. After everything she’d done to me this year, she deserved to feel like shit for two-point-five seconds. And then the two-point-five seconds were over.

“But I won’t,” I said, “because even though I’m a Norm now, I’m a better person than you’ll ever be.”

Shannen swallowed and looked away, probably still seeing her life flash before her eyes. I turned to face Jake. He stared back at me, a million emotions in his eyes, but all I could think about was how he’d betrayed me. He’d known all along where my father was. All those times we’d talked about it, all the sob stories I’d told about how my dad hadn’t called, about how I didn’t know where he was, and Jake knew. I’d trusted him, and he’d kept this huge, life-altering secret from me. I felt so stupid all of a sudden I wanted to cry.

“Ally—”

The very sound of his voice brought a sob into my throat. “No,” I croaked. “You don’t get to talk to me.” I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Have a nice summer, Jake.”

I turned around and looked at my mother. Her eyes were sad, confused, but I could tell she was determined to hold it together. I took a deep breath and swallowed back all my emotion.

“Come on, Mom,” I said clearly. “Let’s get out of here.”