Текст книги "She's So Dead to Us"

Автор книги: Kieran Scott

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

jake

Sunday at noon I rang the doorbell at Shannen’s house. It was the only time I could be sure that both she and her dad would be awake and in semidecent moods. I knew Shannen was going to be irritated about last night, but I figured a ride in the new car and breakfast at Jump would win her over. And I also kind of wanted to talk to her about this whole thing with Ally’s dad. After last night, I felt even guiltier about keeping the secret. Was Shannen going to tell Ally? Did she still have that video? If someone was going to tell her, it had to be done right. And I had a feeling that if Shannen did it, it wouldn’t be done right. I’d been avoiding talking to her about it up until now, not wanting to deal, but if Ally and I were going to be . . . whatever we were going to be, then not dealing wasn’t an option. A decision had to be made. Shannen and I were going to figure this out. Today. But as I waited for someone to answer, I started to get nervous. What if her dad was already drunk? Or had a serious hangover? I hated dealing with him when he was pissed. I was deciding between ringing again and getting back into my Jeep when the door whipped open. Shannen stood there in sweats, scowling at me.

“Hey,” I said with a smile, lifting my keys. “Wanna go for a ride?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh. So now the birthday boy suddenly decides I’m worthy?”

My arms fell to my sides. “Come on. I told you I had stuff to do last night.”

She let out a short laugh. “Stuff. Good one.”

What was that supposed to mean? “Look, it’s totally nice out. We can go to Jump and get those bialys you like.”

She narrowed her eyes at me and put her hand on the door. “I already ate.” Then she started to slam the door.

I reached out and stopped it, my hand flat on the surface. “Wait.”

“What?” she snapped.

“I don’t know why you’re so mad—”

She went to close the door again. I blocked it with my foot this time.

“But I just have to ask you something,” I said, feeling desperate. Like I had some kind of ticking clock behind me.

“What?”

“You’re not gonna show that video to Ally, are you? The one with her dad?” I asked.

She laughed. “You are unbelievable.”

“What? I just . . . don’t think she should find out that way,” I said, my face hot. “Think about it. If you were her, would you want to find out that way?”

She narrowed her eyes again, still holding on to the door. “No. I wouldn’t.”

“Good, so just . . . don’t. I think if he wants to see them, he’ll go see them. It’s none of our business.”

As I said the words, I suddenly felt very confident about them. It didn’t matter that I knew what I knew. It wasn’t my place or Shannen’s or anyone else’s to tell Ally. This was her family’s thing. If we got involved, things would just get messy. As long as I could ensure Shannen would stay quiet, I knew I could keep my mouth shut too. We’d just wait it out, and eventually Ally’s dad would come around and get in touch. He’d have to, right?

“Fine,” she said. “I won’t tell her anything.” There was something hard and final about her face as she looked at me. “Are we done here?”

I moved my foot out of the way of the door, feeling lighter somehow. Shannen wasn’t going to tell Ally, which meant I didn’t have to tell Ally.

“You sure you don’t want to go for a drive?”

She rolled her eyes one last time and slammed the door in my face.

april

Do you have a date for the prom yet?

What? It’s over a month away. Why? Do people

already have dates?

Um, yeah! Josh Schwartz asked Melissa Ferreti in homeroom this morning, and now everyone’s asking everyone.

Connor Shale’s going with Shannen Moore . . .

Chad Lancaster asked Lisa Rinaldi. . . .

Ohmigod. Who am I gonna go with?

Has Jake asked anyone yet?

Ohmigod. Jake Graydon is my dream date.

Well, maybe you should ask him.

Please. And be that pathetic?

If you don’t do it, someone else will. That boy will be

snapped up before third period.

Ohmigod. This is so stressful. I’m going to the nurse.

If you do, you might miss your chance. And then you’ll

be stuck at the dance babysitting some dude from

St. Mark’s who you don’t even know just because you’re

vague Facebook friends and there was no one else left.

I loathe the prom.

jake

I grinned to myself when I heard her footsteps coming down the hall. She started to pass me, and I reached out and grabbed her wrist.

“Jake! What are you doing?”

“This.”

I pulled her to me and kissed her, cupping the back of her head with my hand. Ally giggled and melted into me, her whole body melding with mine. Two seconds later, though, she pulled away.

“We can’t do this. We’re so gonna get caught.” But her hands were on my chest and she was blushing like crazy. She bit her bottom lip, and I almost died.

“No one ever comes into this hall at lunch,” I said, glancing at the door to Barry’s Custodians Only closet. Ally looked up and laughed.

“This is kind of our place,” she joked.

“Where it all began,” I joked back, tugging her to me with my arms around her waist. It wasn’t exactly true. It had begun at my house that day back in August. But it was those detentions that had forced us to actually talk. That was where I’d really started to like her. Not just daydream about her. I leaned in and touched my lips to hers, giving her a long, slow kiss. When I broke it off, her eyes stayed closed and her head tipped back.

“You really want to go back to the cafeteria?” I whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear with my fingertips. I could practically hear her heart pounding. Or maybe that was mine.

“Mm mm,” she said, shaking her head.

“Good.”

So we stood there kissing without a single breath for air, until the bell rang and we finally had to wake up.

ally

My palms sweated as I clutched my number two pencil. Time was running out. I could feel it. I stared at number thirty two, willing it to just tell me the answer.

Baseball player’s chocolate bar. Baseball player’s chocolate bar. It wasn’t a Baby Ruth. That didn’t fit. Who the heck else had a chocolate bar?

“Done!” Annie rang the bell and dropped her pencil. She shoved her completed crossword across the counter for me to envy. “Read it and weep.”

I moaned and slapped my book closed. “I suck!” I said, head in hands.

“This is true,” Annie replied with a matter-of-fact nod. “Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be, like, cheering for your man at the lacrosse game?”

I groaned again and stood up straight, stepping aside so Annie could ring up an elderly lady who had a basketful of discount toilet paper.

“First of all, I don’t have a man. And secondly, since I don’t have a man it would be kind of odd for me to attend the lacrosse game and cheer for him,” I said, leaning back in front of the second register, which was closed.

“I see. Verboten boyfriends can be difficult that way,” Annie said.

She handed the woman her change and gave me a hesitant look as the lady moved toward the door. “So, listen, there’s something I feel like I should tell you, but I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

My heart thumped with foreboding, and I stood up straight. “Well, now you obviously have to tell me.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay, but I’m not entirely sure what it means.”

“Annie, what?” I demanded.

“I was at the Acorn today and Shannen came in to talk to Chloe,” Annie said, tugging her laptop out of her bag, which was behind the counter. “Of course I tried to listen in, as I always do, but they were whispering, so it was hard to hear everything.”

My throat prickled. “What did they say?”

Annie opened her computer. “I typed up what I heard,” she said, glancing at the screen. “Shannen said something about ‘that night we went to Paddy’s.’ Then she said something I didn’t hear, and then Chloe flipped out. She said, ‘What? How could you do that? You promised me you wouldn’t do anything—’”

“What were they talking about?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Annie said. “But then I distinctly heard Shannen say, ‘Jake made me swear I wouldn’t tell Ally.’”

I felt like the floor had just dropped out from under me. Shannen and Jake were keeping secrets from me together? Secrets Chloe knew about?

Annie looked up at me, her eyes wide with apology. “Should I not have told you?”

“No. It’s good. It’s fine,” I said, my mind reeling.

I saw a pair of headlights flash in the parking lot. Jake was there. Perfect timing, as always.

“He’s here,” I said.

Annie glanced over her shoulder out the window. “You should just ask him about it,” she said confidently. “Maybe it’s nothing.”

Right. Somehow I had a hard time believing that.

“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe I will.” But I found I couldn’t move. Jake honked the horn and waved me out, grinning.

“Or just forget about it,” Annie said. “I feel bad that I just ruined your night. Just go and have fun.”

“Yeah,” I said, grabbing my jacket off the end of the counter. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Annie.”

Outside, a misty rain fell from the dark April sky. I popped open the door of the Jeep, and Jake grinned at me. He had a streak of dirt on his face, and the entire side of his uniform was caked in mud. My whole body responded to his gorgeousness, but my heart felt sour. Why was he keeping secrets from me? And with my former best friend/current worst enemy?

“Wow. Rough game?” I asked, trying for a light tone.

“You should see the other guys.”

He pulled out, and within fifteen minutes we were parked in the country club lot again. He leaned over to kiss me, but I couldn’t kiss him back.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” he asked.

I looked into his light blue eyes. I didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want to sit here and pretend that everything was fine. Try to kiss him with all these questions whirling around in my mind.

“No, actually,” I said, shifting in my seat.

“What is it?” he asked.

“It’s just . . . Annie overheard something today,” I said. “A conversation between Chloe and Shannen.”

Jake swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Something about Paddy’s and about how Shannen promised you she wouldn’t tell me . . . ?”

Jake turned completely away from me, staring out the windshield. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. What were they talking about?” I asked.

“That’s all they said?” he asked, still not looking at me.

“That’s all she heard,” I replied, feeling even more suspicious.

Jake sighed and gripped the steering wheel. His hands kneaded it like it was bread dough, his knuckles turning white.

“Jake, you’re scaring me,” I said. “What the hell is going on?”

“I just . . .” He looked me in the eye, and for a long moment he said nothing.

“Just what?”

“I didn’t want you to know about Paddy’s,” he said, turning away again. “I mean, I’ve seen you at a couple of parties, and you never drink. I thought . . . I guess I thought you’d think I was a loser for going to a bar or something.”

Relief flooded through me, and I laughed. “Is that it? I don’t think you’re a loser.”

“You sure?” He looked at me sheepishly.

“Please. I’d think you were a loser if you drank and drove or got so messy drunk you barfed on my shoes or something, but I’m not gonna judge you for going there and hanging out,” I said.

Jake smiled almost sadly and looked down at his hands.

“You’re really cool, you know that?”

I smiled, my face warming pleasantly. “Thanks.”

He looked up at me again, and we finally kissed.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole game,” he said.

“Me neither,” I replied, even though it didn’t make sense. I pressed my mouth against his and wrapped one arm around his neck, trying to pull him closer to me.

“Ow!” He cursed and leaned away.

“What?” I asked, breathless.

“Stick shift. Knee. Not good,” he said, wincing.

I laughed. “Toughen up, Graydon. Is this how you act on the field?”

He smirked and leaned in to kiss me. “No. I just wasn’t expecting to get injured after the game.”

I sighed and dropped back in my bucket seat, looking through the windshield at the surface of the lake, which was pockmarked by the now rapidly falling rain. This “date” was not going well at all.

“Sneaking around does have its drawbacks,” I said.

“Yeah. But it’s kind of fun, too,” he said, reaching for my hand.

I sighed, lacing my fingers together with his. “It kind of sucks, though. That we can’t tell anyone.”

“You told Annie, right?” he said.

“Well, yeah, but—”

He lifted his shoulders. “So, there you go.”

“But wouldn’t it be cool if we could, I don’t know, go to a movie or something?” I asked.

“Movies are overrated,” he replied, reaching for me. His eyes went to my lips.

“Jake—”

He sighed and sat back again. “Ally, I thought we were good with this.”

“I know,” I said, looking at my lap.

“If my friends found out about us, they’d just try to break us up,” he said, running his one clean hand over my hair. “I don’t want to deal with any more of their crap. I just want this.”

He leaned in and kissed me, and any longing for anything else melted away. He was right. If the Cresties found out about us, they’d start torturing me all over again. And I’d kind of been enjoying the not getting tortured these past few months. Ever since Shannen and I had faced off after the pool annex incident, she and the rest of them had basically left me alone. And considering the not-so-thinly-veiled threat Shannen had issued that day, and the bluff I’d issued back, that wasn’t really a boat I felt like rocking.

But the prom was coming up. And it may have been a stupid fantasy, but I wanted to go with Jake. I had a whole daydream of him in a tux and me in some gorgeous dress, walking into the dance together and everyone stopping to stare. In a good way, of course. Why couldn’t I have that? Why did everything have to be so screwed up?

“You okay?” Jake asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile even though my heart was so heavy it was tugging down on the corners of my mouth.

Maybe I’d just work a double shift the day of the prom. Earn money instead of spending it on a dress and a ticket and a limo. Save up for next year’s prom.

When maybe, just maybe, things would be different.

jake

I was standing outside my English classroom, cramming for the test I was going to have to take in three minutes, when Trevor and Todd came bouncing up to me out of nowhere.

“Dude, dude, dude! Did you ask anyone to the prom yet?” Todd asked, slapping my shoulder and squeezing it. Hard.

I flinched, still clutching my copy of The Odyssey in both hands. My thoughts instantly flashed on Ally, and my cheeks flared. “No. Why?”

“Cool! Because I just asked Jennifer Dell—”

“And I asked Kiersten Staples—”

“And they said they won’t go unless Carrie Ann Sullivan has a date too.”

“So will you ask her?”

I stared at them. “Who?”

“Carrie Ann Sullivan!” they said in unison. Todd leaned toward my ear. “She’s the sophomore on varsity lacrosse. The one with the black braids and the huge—”

My blush deepened and I nodded. “Right. Carrie Ann Sullivan.” I swallowed hard, my brain full of thoughts of Ally. What would she think if she could hear this conversation? Probably that we were all disgusting pigs.

“I don’t know, guys.” I looked down at my book and tried to concentrate.

“Come on, man! If you don’t ask her, we don’t have dates,” Trevor said, bouncing up and down in his destroyed Chuck T’s.

“Why won’t they go without her?” I asked.

“Who knows?” Todd said, throwing up his arms. “Some stupid girl code? They’re like BFFs or something, and they all want to go.”

“What’s tripping you up man? The big boobs or the hot legs? Why is this even an issue?” Trevor added.

I took a deep breath. The thing was, it wasn’t like I could go to the prom with Ally.

Whatever we were doing, we’d decided to keep it a secret. For a very good reason. But I couldn’t not go to the prom. Everyone was going. We were getting a limo together, and we were going to all drive down to Hammond’s house on LBI after. It was going to be sick. I couldn’t miss it. Ally couldn’t expect me to miss it. And if I couldn’t go with her, I didn’t really care who I went with.

“All right, fine,” I said. “I’ll ask her.”

“Yes!” the Idiot Twins cheered, chest-bumping each other. They turned toward me, thrusting their chests out again, but I shook my head.

“No. I’m good.”

“Thanks, man,” Trevor said, slapping me on the back. “You won’t regret it.”

The bell rang, and I turned to walk into my English class, feeling tense and nervous and sick. I told myself it was just because I was about to fail my English test, but I knew that wasn’t it. Even though what I’d just promised to do made perfect sense, I had a feeling that Trevor was wrong. Somehow, I was going to regret it.

jake

I pulled my Jeep into the parking lot at the elementary school and took a spot at the back. There were a few other cars in the lot and at least twenty people playing touch football in the sun out on the Little League baseball field. I spotted Ally right away. She was laughing as she tried to tag Chad Lancaster, but he dodged her outstretched fingers and scored, spiking the ball near the backstop. All his friends gathered around him, cheering.

What the hell was I doing here? These guys weren’t gonna want me here.

I glanced at Ally again. She hadn’t seen me yet. I could just bail. Say something came up. Tell her I was having a psychotic break when I’d texted yes after she’d asked me if I wanted to come.

What if my friends drove by and saw my car here?

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, then got out of the Jeep. I was not going to let my friends dictate what I could and couldn’t do. Just being here didn’t automatically mean that me and Ally were a thing. I could have driven by, seen the game, and asked to join. Besides, Shannen hadn’t spoken to me since my birthday, and she was the one who would have given me the most shit if she saw me. Eff that.

A couple of the guys spotted me as I walked over. Everyone stopped playing. Yeah. This was a mistake.

“Jake! You came!” Ally shouted, her smile huge.

Or maybe it wasn’t.

She jogged forward and stopped in front of me. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Was I supposed to kiss her? Hug her? I wanted to, but not with everyone staring at us like this.

“Hey, guys. Jake’s on my team,” Ally said, turning to her friends.

“What? No way,” Chad said, palming the ball.

Here we go. Out with the Crestie.

“You’ve already got twelve,” Jessica Landry said. “He’s on our team.”

“But, dude, you have most of the guys,” Marshall Moss argued. He had dirt all up the side of his sweats and T-shirt. “Your team is stacked.”

“What, like guys are somehow better at this?” Ally joked.

“Uh, yeah,” Marshall joked back.

She shoved him and he shoved her back, laughing. Okay, so they weren’t throwing me out, but I did not like this crap between Ally and Marshall.

“I’m on Ally’s team. She invited me, so that’s where I’m going,” I said.

“Whatever,” Chad said, tossing me the ball. “We’ll whoop your ass anyway.”

“Yeah.” I laughed. “We’ll see.”

Ally grinned as we took the field together. “You came,” she said again.

“You thought I wouldn’t?” Now that I was here with her, the idea that I’d almost bailed seemed impossible.

“No. I’m just glad you did.”

I smiled back. I was glad too.

So, Chad’s team did whoop our asses, but it was fun. An hour later we were all dirty and sweaty and clamoring for our Gatorades and Snapples. Ally and I dropped down onto the rickety wooden bleachers and leaned back on our elbows as a few of the other guys messed around on the old jungle gym.

“Having fun?” Ally asked me, tilting her face toward the sun.

“Yeah.” All I could think about was where we could go after this. Where could I take her in the middle of the day so that I could kiss her?

“Apparently Cresties and Norms can get along,” she joked.

I felt a twinge of apprehension in my chest and shifted my weight. Somehow this suddenly felt like a test. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Jake! Nice game.” Marshall walked over and slapped my hand.

“Thanks,” I said.

“So, I heard you’re going to the prom with Carrie Ann Sullivan,” he said with a grin. “Nice.”

I almost choked on my Gatorade.

“What?” Ally blurted.

I shot Marshall a look of serious, painful death. Ever so slowly, I capped my drink, put it down, and turned to look at Ally. My heart pretty much stopped. She looked like I’d just run over her mom with my Jeep. Crap. I already felt guilty for lying to her the other night when she’d brought up the Paddy B’s thing. Now this.

“You asked someone to the prom?” she said.

“Oh. Oops. Sorry, man,” Marshall said, backing off.

Yeah, sure you are, buddy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ally asked.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” I said, getting up and tugging her away by her arm. She followed me over to a huge oak tree a few yards away from the bleachers. Ally leaned one hand against the trunk and looked down at the ground, kicking the dirt with her toe.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Are you serious?” she asked.

“Ally, come on. It’s not like we could go to the prom together,” I said.

“Right, because it’s okay for you to slum it with us Norms out here, but God forbid a Crestie take a Norm to the prom. The whole world might collapse in on itself,” she said sarcastically.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I said.

She shook her head, staring past me. “I just can’t believe you’re going with someone else.”

“What’d you want me to do, stay home?” I asked, my face screwing up in disbelief.

“That’s what I’m doing,” she shot back.

Oh. Shit. “Well, I can’t. Everyone’s going. And if I don’t go, it’s going to look—”

“Who cares how it looks?” she demanded. Then she stared at her feet again. “Do you, like, like this girl?”

“No. I don’t even know her,” I replied quickly. This had to get me some points. “I only asked her because the Idiot Twins wanted me to.”

“So, you’re taking some sophomore you don’t even know to the prom,” she said flatly.

God. I couldn’t get anything right in this conversation.

“Why? Would it be better if I asked someone I already hooked up with?” I blurted.

Ally’s jaw dropped. Yeah. That may have been the wrong thing to say.

“I have to go,” she said, storming past me.

Her pissed-off exit caught the attention of the guys, and some of them shot me looks. Great. Just great. Now they were going to kick my ass.

Ally grabbed her duffel bag from the bottom bleacher and speed walked toward the parking lot. Marshall took off at a jog after her, and I was left there facing Chad and the rest of the guys, who were all standing by the bleachers with their chins out like they were ready to rumble.

“Chicks,” I said dismissively

They didn’t laugh. It was time for me to go. Over in the parking lot, Ally got on her bike and took off. Then Marshall got on his and took off after her. What the hell was going on with those two?

“Thanks for the game,” I said. “I’ll see you around.”

Then I walked toward them, forcing a couple of them to move sideways so I could get through, just so they’d know I wasn’t intimidated. But the whole way to the car I kept waiting for one of them to jump me from behind or something. I didn’t breathe until I was safely inside my Jeep.

“Dammit,” I said under my breath as I started the engine. I slammed the heel of my hand into the steering wheel and sat back, unable to get the picture of Ally’s hurt face out of my mind. I knew it was a bad idea, coming here. It had just turned out to be a bad idea for reasons I hadn’t even considered.