Текст книги "Reciprocity"

Автор книги: K. I. Lynn

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

CHAPTER 13

I chuckled to myself, earning a quizzical look from Lila.

“What?”

“Your hair is a beautiful fucking mess.”

She reached up and her fingers combed through it, trying to straighten it and get out the knots I’d made. My wife looked thoroughly sexed—a look I loved to see her wear. Unfortunately, we were at the office and had to at least look presentable before we opened the door to the sixth floor conference room.

The quiet little corner became our occasional afternoon delight spot. With the trial closing in, we both needed the physical reassurance and calm that came from touching each other.

“I was thinking about having roasted chicken breast and red potatoes for dinner.”

I thought it over as I pushed the tails of my dress shirt back into my slacks. “Sounds pretty good. Maybe some salad as well. My stomach hasn’t been right since that weird Indian place Drew took us to on Monday.” She smiled, laughing to herself. “What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

I threw my jacket back on and walked over to her, pulling her to me. “It’s not nothing.”

She bit her bottom lip, a blush creeping along her cheeks. “We’re just weird.”

“We’re weird?”

“I mean, I don’t watch sitcoms, but I’ve seen some when I dated Drew and spent time with Caroline. The things the people talked about were often strange to me.” I quirked my brow at her, and she sighed. “You know I have warped perceptions on reality, and our conversation was oddly similiar to those shows. I didn’t realize we’d become so mainstream and domesticated.”

I laughed out loud. Normalcy was weird to her, and we were engaging in a normal, everyday couple conversation—the type we’d had hundreds of.

“Baby, we’re married.”

Her brow scrunched. “And?”

“And we’re evolving as people and a couple. Life isn’t only about the crap we’ve been through anymore. The everyday shit, sharing it, and living life is the new us.”

“I didn’t say it was bad, just…weird.” She tucked her head. “And I kind of like it.”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. “You’ll get used to it, and it won’t be weird anymore.” She snuggled into my chest, a content sigh coming from her. “Dinner sounds great.”

“You can make the salad.”

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. “One of the few things I can make.”

“You’ve gotten better at other things.”

I nodded. “I have.”

“You can make lasagna tomorrow.”

“Mmm, that sounds good.”

“Tomorrow. I’m making chicken tonight. Besides, we’ll need to stop at the grocery store.”

I opened the door and held it for her to walk through. One of the few locals of the floor passed by, giving us a knowing look.

I didn’t care who knew. Was it unprofessional to have sex at the office? Hell, yes. Was that going to stop me? Not a fucking chance. Discreet was what we strived for, but sometimes it was inevitable that someone heard us.

“Your tie is messed up.” She reached up and adjusted it as we rode the elevator back up.

We were walking down the hall back to her office when I noticed Caroline standing in front of Lila’s office, tapping her foot with her arms crossed in front of her. What had her so pissed?

“My God, Nate, can’t you wait a few hours until you get home?” She huffed as we neared.

I grinned at her. “No.”

She rolled her eyes, then pointed at her watch as she looked at Lila. “Tick-tock, girl. We have lunch plans, and you’re eating into them with your sexcapades.”

“Oh, crap!” Lila looked down at her watch and headed into her office to get her purse and coat.

“Yeah, you forgot, didn’t you?”

“No, time got away from me.”

Caroline quirked her brow. “How long were you two getting it on?”

I checked out the time, doing the math of when we left. “We were pretty quick.”

“Nate!”

I peeked in and saw that Owen had already left for lunch. “I know it’s no secret from her, so stop acting embarrassed. Besides, baby making has no schedule.” I grinned.

Caroline’s head snapped to me. “Wait, what was that? Baby making?”

I glanced at Lila, who was glaring at me. Hadn’t she told Caroline? Weeks had passed, and Caroline was out sick for a week in there, but I thought she would be the first person Lila told. Caroline gave me a “I hope you know what you’re doing” look.

Lila sighed. “I was going to tell you about it over lunch.”

“You sure as hell are.”

“I’ll see you later,” Lila said as she gave me a kiss and headed down the hall.

Once they were out of sight, I headed down to my office. As soon as I entered, I slammed my head against the door. Was I forcing my desires for a family on Lila? Did she even want children, or was she placating me? There was the possibility that the trial on Monday was consuming her thoughts—perhaps that was why?

The answer was clear to that one. Her demeanor told me the stress of the trial was getting to her—hence the romp this morning. She was the one who called me to meet—an unusual occurrence.

I was hard.

Then again, I seemed to be hard all the time.

Fucking PTSD. It affected my mood, often in a bad way, and heightened my already high-demanding sexual needs. At its worst, I was an asshole who needed his dick wrapped in warmth twenty-four-fucking-seven.

Our addictive dependence on each other wasn’t considered healthy, but it was what we needed to function. We craved each other to calm the storm within.

Getting off only gave me a moment of peace, but it was a moment.

I had to get it all out, because in the morning, I needed to be strong for Lila. The trial was starting, and my shit needed to take a back burner.

Staring at the TV, I palmed my cock as thoughts of fucking her unconscious took hold. She wasn’t home. Her art class, or, as I liked to call it, separation-of-her-dependency-on-me class, was going on until eight.

Another fucking hour.

My cock couldn’t wait that long. My balls ached and the head leaked, begging to explode. If I didn’t get myself in check, she was going to come home to something destroyed, and that would make her worry. Then she’d let me fuck her until I felt better.

The problem with that scenario was I’d feel worse because I knew what she was hiding below the surface.

She couldn’t hide from me.

The pain, the fear—it shook her to the core to an almost debilitating degree. Yet, she went on, putting on that damn face, telling me everything was all right when it fucking wasn’t. It was a left-over defense mechanism that I didn’t even think she realized she’d been doing for the past week.

My fist slammed down next to my side, and I yelled out a curse. Frustration didn’t even describe my situation.

I wanted to be selfish. I was dying to push my cock into her mouth and fuck her face, her throat swallowing around me; to slam my cock in her pussy, making her cry out as I fucked her hard, releasing all of my pent up rage and fear; to feel her tight ass constrict around me. I wanted to tie her to the bed and pound into her over and over until she came so many times she passed out. Make us both forget what was coming.

My tongue swiped across my lips, muscles flexing as my hand opened and closed on the couch cushion. Hips, toes, hands—all curling in need.

To taste, to take, to devour.

I flipped the front edge of my shirt over my head and pushed my shorts down enough to pull my cock and balls out. The head was red and angry, my dick begging for Lila to make it all better. When was the last time I’d gotten off by my hand? It had been few and far between since I’d met her, so much so that my cock was practically trained to come from Lila and Lila alone.

I moved my hand up my shaft and hissed as I hit the underside of the sensitive head, setting up a slow, teasing, steady pace. It wouldn’t take much to come.

I recalled some of our favorite escapades, one of my favorites coming to the forefront—the alleyway in Noblesville. The thrill of being seen, watching as my cock claimed her pussy…

I was lost on the edge of coming. Every muscle was so tight, statue-like as my fist flew up and down my cock. My mouth was open, eyes cloudy. I didn’t hear her come in, but she stood before me, fuzzy.

The realization she was watching was too much. With a strangled cry, I tipped my head back and tightened my grip on my cock as the first pulsing shot from my balls exploded onto my stomach.

Everything was gone, quiet, except the ecstasy that filled me with each spurt that left my body. I pulled the last drops out and relaxed back into the couch, spent. My vision cleared, though my lids were still heavy as I tried to catch my breath.

Lila was still watching me. The beast was satiated, my muscles relaxed. I stared back at her. “Come here.” I beckoned her over, holding out my hand.

As she got closer, I reached up and cupped her face, guiding her lips down to mine. It was soft, and through her touch, I knew sex wasn’t what she needed.

I grabbed some tissue and wiped up the mess I’d made before pulling my t-shirt back down and tucking my cock away. Once that was done, I tugged on her arm, positioning her over my lap, straddling me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, while her head rested in the crook of my neck. It felt so good to have her close, but I needed closer, and I held her as tight as I could, breathing her in. I released my grip and swept my hand up, then down her back.

“How was art class?”

She shrugged in my arms. “It was okay. I’m not very good, though, so I think when it’s up, I’ll stop. Maybe find something else.”

“Anything catch your eye?”

She hummed against my neck. “Not really. Maybe I’ll just take more swimming or dance classes, just so I can keep up with you.”

I kissed the side of her head. “You’ll be caught up in no time.”

She looked so down. “I really just miss being with you.”

“I know. Me, too. But, I also understand why Darren wants us to have separate activities, even though I hate it.”

She nodded. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

She heaved a sigh and sat back. The crushing anxiety that plagued her earlier in the day was gone, but what replaced it was almost as bad. It was like she was preparing for battle. Shutting herself down, closing in. The way her arms were held in tight and wrapped loosely around her waist told me everything.

I reached out and tilted her head up so I could look in her eyes. “Don’t shut me out, baby.” Tears started to pool in her eyes, and she wetted her lips before she looked down. “Hey, none of that. Look at me.” The sight of tears brimming made my chest clench. “I love you, Lila, and I’m here for you. I know tomorrow is going to be difficult, but you’re not alone anymore.”

Her body jerked in my arms before a whine clawed its way out of her chest and broke into a sob. The sound tore at me, shredded me to pieces. There was nothing I could do. I felt helpless, and I hated the feeling. I wanted to take away all her pain, but had no clue how.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I need lovey hugs.”

I drew her in and held her tight as she cried into my chest, letting out all of her fear. She was strong, but I also knew how fragile she was. My only hope was that the following days didn’t break her.

CHAPTER 14

When the alarm went off, neither of us moved to turn off the blaring sound. We stared at each other, gathering up the strength to leave the bed. Knowing that as soon as the alarm was silent, we had to get ready.

She sighed and curled against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, wishing I could keep her there—that she didn’t have to go through what was coming.

The volume of the alarm grew to an almost deafening level, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I slapped down on the snooze button to shut it up.

Five more minutes.

I went back to my position of trying to pull her inside me. When time was up, we reluctantly separated and moved to get up.

A low pressure front had come through overnight, and we both groaned in pain. The first steps were rough—my leg didn’t want to move right. Another reminder of what lay beneath the scars all over my body. Lila was the same, and her hand covered the opposite wrist.

My whole body ached and was stiff. Mornings like this sucked and made an already difficult day that much worse.

We showered and got ready, our pace slower than normal.

Lila’s eyes were clouded and unfocused. She wasn’t ready for today, but she never would be. The day was a means to the end, and I’d be there, helping her get through it as best as the court would allow. Being a witness meant we’d be separated, testifying without each other in the room.

It was going to be a shit day, but we’d get through it together.

That was, if my ass didn’t end up in jail for killing the fucker.

My blood still boiled over it, and the image burned in my mind. I honestly wasn’t sure I could keep myself in check and the beast on a leash. Everything in my being wanted to beat the shit out of him, to break every bone in his body for everything he’d ever done to her.

I glanced over at her. The light was gone from her—she was just a shell—much like when we first met. Her hands shook as she pulled a shirt from its hanger and slipped it on. I stepped forward and helped her get it over her head, smoothing it down her waist.

“I can’t do this,” she said, looking up at me.

She was so afraid and so lost.

One of my hands sat on her waist while the other cupped her cheek. “You can. You’re stronger. They can’t hurt you. Don’t let fears bring you down.”

“What if my father is there? Bad enough I have to tell an entire court room what they did to me, reliving it over and over again as they dig in deep. Having to have my past brought up to all those people. But to deal with him as well?”

“I’ll be with you.”

She shook her head. “No, you won’t. You’ll be in another room. Cut off.”

“No, not cut off. It’ll only be a few feet and some walls between us, but I’ll be there. You’ll be able to feel me.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and I wiped it away. “I need to be able to touch you. How can I get through this day without you?”

“By remembering that by testifying, you’re sealing his fate. You’ll be able to say the words, knowing I’m not far away and that there are witnesses and a bailiff there to protect you from him.”

She sniffed and drew in a shuddered breath, then nodded.

We finished getting ready and headed out. The drive was silent and a bit unnerving with how locked down Lila was. I reached out and took her hand in mine. Her fingers twined with mine, a long breath coming from her as she relaxed, even if it was just a little.

Her grip tightened as we walked up to the courthouse—a death grip of fear. Heading down the hall, we saw Lawrence, the prosecutor, standing in front of the courtroom, with Noah next to him.

Lawrence looked between us and settled on Lila. “Are you ready?”

She shook her head, her voice soft and small. “No, but I never will be.”

He pursed his lips and nodded, then ushered us in.

She reached out and grabbed Noah’s hand. He stepped forward, giving her a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I know. But it will get so much better after this. I promise.”

She nodded, and we moved to find our seats.

I hated that we had to be at the courthouse so early, and hated that we spent the morning doing nothing but waiting as the jury was selected. Waiting to get the damn show on the road and get this the fuck over with so we could move on.

One less threat to deal with. One less monster on the streets.

There was no doubt in my mind he would go to prison. What I did waver on was if we could get all the major felony charges. Not getting one could mean around five or more years less on his sentence.

I didn’t even get to see the cleaned-up version of Adam. A bailiff came for me. I wrapped Lila in my arms and kissed her hard.

“You’ll be okay. I’m here.”

The fear was clear in her eyes, but she nodded. Everything in me wanted to run away with her, to keep her from the pain, but it was a necessary evil. I was shuffled back to my “holding cell,” Lila’s fingers slipping through mine as we were led away to separate rooms.

My knee bounced as I stared at the clock, watching as each second ticked by. It was almost five—they would end for the day, and I could see Lila again.

Fucking stupid rules that kept me from her. I’d never hated them before, because they were often to my advantage in my work, but it was a burning anger when they were forced upon me. A brief period at lunch was the only time I’d touched, seen, or talked to her since we’d arrived over eight hours earlier. I was crawling out of my skin knowing she was even in the same room as him, being grilled about all that he’d done to her.

The beast was exceptionally uneasy.

I stood, pacing, prowling the drywall cage those rules locked me in. Every cell in me was vibrating. My nostrils flared, and the urge to slam my fist into a wall was great. The pent-up energy was calling for me to destroy something.

If day one was this bad, how was I supposed to survive day two?

The door clicked open, and my eyes snapped up.

“They’re done,” my guard said.

He didn’t need to tell me any more—I was out the door and headed down the hall. Walking wasn’t fast enough, so I began running past people who gave me dirty looks, but I couldn’t give two shits about what they thought.

Lila needed me, and I had to get to her.

I rounded the corner and slowed my pace as I approached the open doors of the courtroom. The few stragglers left behind were trickling out. Lila came into view, her head down and arms crossed as if she was holding herself together.

By the time her head rose, I was only a few steps away. She collapsed into my arms, completely drained.

“I’ve got you, Honeybear,” I said as I locked her tight in my arms. My lips pressed against her forehead as my gaze rose.

A couple exited a few feet away, and the man looked in our direction. My eyes locked on his, and I tensed. Flames of hatred ignited and raged through me. I ignored the woman, because I knew instantly who he was. After all, he bore the exact same interesting gray-green eyes as my wife.

Stephen Palmer wasn’t the image I’d drawn in my mind, but then again, I’m sure time and age had changed him. He was bald, and shorter than me. What once looked like a solid frame was thinner and weaker thanks to his near sixty-year age.

His lip curled up, utter disgust on his face as he looked at Lila.

A hand clamped down hard on my shoulder as the words “don’t do it” were whispered in my ear. It was then I realized my whole body was tense, ready to storm down the hall and deck the bastard.

Noah was standing next to me, his gaze also locked on Lila’s father and stepmother. Together we watched as they walked down the corridor and out of the courthouse.

Once they were out of sight, I walked Lila over to a nearby bench and sat down, moving her to my lap. My hand made soothing motions wherever they touched as I looked down at her. She wasn’t crying, but I couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing. She looked completely beaten down.

Lawrence, the prosecutor, walked out of the courtroom and toward us, followed by Andrew. The rest of his team continued on down the hall and out.

“It was a hard day,” Lawrence said as he stopped in front of us. “I’d order in and have a relaxing night. It’s going to be another hard one tomorrow. ”

“Is she done?” I motioned down to Lila.

He nodded. “We were able to finish up in time. Noah’s went faster than I anticipated, leaving lots of time for her. You and Andrew are up tomorrow, along with the doorman”—he opened up the file in his arm—“Michael Cline.”

“How do you think it went?” Drew asked. Sadness washed over his features as he looked down at Lila curled on my lap, not moving.

“I’m hopeful.” Lawrence gave a slow nod, then sighed. I was caught in his sights, and he motioned in my direction. “A reminder—you are not to talk about the case tonight.”

My lip twitched. Yes, I knew the rules, but I wasn’t about to let Lila suffer until after the jury deliberated. She was my wife. It was in my job description as her husband to make her happy. Plus, I couldn’t stand to see her so distraught.

Lawrence walked away, and I brushed Lila’s hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?”

Her fingers flexed against my lapel and she turned further into my chest, her head resting in the crook of my neck. Little wisps of breath tickled my skin.

“You better just take her home,” Noah said.

Drew held out his hand. “I’ll go get your car.”

I dug my keys out of my pocket and handed them over. “Thanks.”

He nodded and headed down the hall.

My hand ran up Lila’s arm, but she didn’t react when I tickled the soft skin on the back of her arm. “She’s so out of it.”

Noah pulled out his cell phone and keys. “Run her a bath, get her to eat something, and remind her you’re there. I’m sure she’ll come out of it then.”

“Will do.”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

I held out my hand. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” He smiled and shook my offered hand.

I stared after Noah, then looked back down to Lila.

“Come on, baby, let’s get you home.” I didn’t make her stand. Instead, I snaked my arm under her knees and pulled her close as I stood.

Lips pressed against my neck as we walked, and the hand on my lapel loosened, wrapping around my neck. I smiled—she’d be fine. The day took a toll on her and she needed a recharge, but it hadn’t damaged her. I worried about her, but I should’ve known by now how resilient she was.

Neither of us said a word the entire way home, which wasn’t very far—we lived close to the courthouse. Her head rested on my shoulder as her arms wrapped around mine.

After parking the car, I picked her up again, her body limp. Mike saw us through the door as we walked up and held it open.

“Is everything all right, Mr. Thorne?” Concern was etched into his features. I’d always known that Mike had a fondness for Lila. He once told me how she reminded him of his daughter.

“It was a rough day, that’s all.” He walked with us to the elevator bay and pressed the call button for me.

Mike nodded in understanding. “Sorry I couldn’t be there today—work and all.”

“It’s fine. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mike pursed his lips and hiked his belt up higher on his protruding beer belly. “I’ve never been in a courtroom before, but I watch a lot of court dramas.”

My lips quirked. People always thought it was like what they watched, not remembering it was staged and they were actors. “It’s not like what you see on TV. It’ll be a lot like the deposition. They’ll ask you a bunch of questions, and then you’re done, only this time the audience is larger.”

He nodded. “I just hope we get the guy put away forever. After what he did…” He trailed off, lost in the memory. I knew by his expression he felt guilty that Adam got past him.

The elevator arrived and we got on, Mike pushing the button for the fourteenth floor. “Lemme know if you need anything tonight, okay?”

I nodded. “Thanks. We’ll see you later.”

“Night.”

The doors closed and the car jerked as we headed up. By the time we entered our condo, Lila was still unresponsive, so I sat her on the bed. I went into the bathroom and started the water in the tub, letting it fill as I pulled off my clothes.

I was down to my boxer briefs when I stopped and knelt down in front of her. “Lila, do you want to take a bath?”

No response. I sighed and pulled her arms through her jacket, then lifted her sweater over her head and through her arms. It was a good sign that she helped by lifting her arms and leaning back, giving me better access to take off her skirt.

I went to check on the water—it was full and steaming warm. I picked her up again and lowered her feet first into the water. She drew in a sharp breath when the hot water soaked into her skin, but she sat there, waiting.

I climbed in behind her, hissing at the temperature as well. Once I was all the way in, I pulled her back to relax against my chest. She was still so pliable and vacant. There was only one way I knew how to get through to her.

I scooped up the warm water and drizzled it on to her cool, air-exposed skin, wiping it around. One hand moved around her ribs, caressing her breast and pinching her nipples as it trailed to the front and down her abdomen. When she drew in a breath and arched against me, I knew I was on the right track.

I licked her neck, nibbling and kissing down to her shoulder. My fingers slid against her clit, and she jerked against me. I moaned as I found her pussy lips and spread them open, giving me access and pressing one finger inside.

She was warm and silky wet, making my breath go ragged and my cock rock harden at the thought of drowning in her. I pushed another finger in and her breath hitched as she arched against me, then relaxed.

My fingers slipped out, then back in, my thumb circling around her clit. I repeated it, moving faster, harder, teasing her as I pinched her nipples with my free hand. Her chest rose and fell in a staccato rhythm, her back arching further, pressing her harder against my hand as I sped up, pounding my hand against her pussy. Little guttural whimpers and moans slipped from her lips. Her eyes widened for a quick moment, then screwed tight.

I couldn’t take it anymore—her reaction had me too wound up. I reached between us and began stroking my cock at the same speed I fingered her.

Water sloshed out onto the floor as my arms moved at a furious pace. I bit down on her shoulder and her body seized, pussy clenching around my fingers. She shook and shuddered against me as my body tensed, fist pumping furiously.

My jaw locked down harder, screaming into her skin as I exploded into the water. I jerked with each spurt, my mouth releasing her neck as my fingers slipped from her pussy.

I pressed my lips against the mark I’d made. It was deeper than usual and already an angry red, but it was my teeth—my mark. I loved to see her covered in me. It was hot, possessive—how much I needed to see it and have others see it.

She was mine, and nothing was going to take her from me.

Once I was calm, I leaned all the way back against the tub wall, hissing as I hit the cold portion of the tub that was not submerged in the water.

“Better?” I kissed her temple, and she tilted her head to look back at me. Our foreheads bumped as I slumped into her, happy to see life in her eyes again. Her hand cupped my cheek, and I leaned into her touch, not realizing how much I needed it.

“Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for—to take care of you.”

Her head stretched up, and she pressed her lips to mine. “I’m here for you, too.”

“We’ll worry about me later.” Fuck, she was so selfless when it came to me. “How was it today?”

She sighed and took my hands in hers, wrapping my arms around her waist. “It was so hard. I kept having flashes.” She paused, slipping her fingers between mine. “But at least I got some satisfaction out of the whole ordeal.”

“What was that?”

“When I had to state my name.” She turned back to me and smiled. “Adam stood up and screamed out that I was a fucking whore when it registered that I’d gotten married.”

My eyes widened and hope flooded my body. “And that reaction could only hurt his case.”

She nodded. “Mm-hmm. It was hard to talk, to answer their questions, but his constant state of aggravation was noticeable to everyone, especially the jury. At another point, he called me a lying cunt.”

I smiled wide. “Shit, his defense attorney should have sedated him.”

“I doubt he knew. Adam learned a lot from my father on how to spin things. I think he really had his attorney convinced I started it. Once the questioning began and Adam started going off, he changed his mind.”

Good. Adam’s fake innocence couldn’t combat his destructive nature.

“He was flustered when it was his turn to examine you, wasn’t he?”

Even Lila was smiling. “Very. He looked like a newbie, and even the judge was short with him.”

“He wasn’t expecting what his client really was.” I stroked across her arm over and over, drawing lazy patterns.

She pursed her lips. “We aren’t supposed to be talking about it.”

“No.” I drew circles around her breast and down her stomach. “I’m supposed to be making you forget.”

Her lips pressed against my neck. “You’re on the right path.”

After we got out of the tub, I carried her into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Then I did what I always did when she was upset—I lavished her body with mine, showing her my love through touch. Words would never do for her. They could never convey the truth my hands, mouth, and cock could.