Текст книги "Gold"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 26 страниц)

AFTER SIXTEEN HOURS IN FLIGHT and three layovers, Bryna finally landed at LAX. She was exhausted and probably needed to sleep for a week straight, but she was home. The crisp Los Angeles air hit her full-on, and she soaked in the warm early morning sunshine.

Home.

A cab drove her through the insufferable traffic that she definitely hadn’t missed and straight to the hospital. She had no idea what she looked like. She was carting around her carry-on, and she felt totally run-down. The only good thing about all of this was that she had mailed the rest of her luggage to her parent’s house, so she wouldn’t have to deal with it.

A nurse directed her to the hallway where Celia’s room was. Bryna’s father was standing in the waiting room. The twins, Lacey and Kacey, were sprawled out on sofas. One was reading on a Kindle while the other played video games. Both were completely checked out.

“Hey, sweetheart,” her father said.

She fell into his arms, and he hugged her tightly against him. For a split second, she felt like a kid again. Her daddy could fix anything. He could make the hurt go away. She had always been a daddy’s girl.

He kissed the top of her head. “It’s good to have you home.”

“It’s good to be home,” she said.

Her dad stepped back and smiled down at her. “Celia’s excited for you to meet your sister.”

Bryna’s hands were sweating. Through all of this, she had tried not to think about what exactly she was coming home to. She knew nothing about babies. Growing up, she hadn’t had a younger sibling. She didn’t know anyone who had been pregnant where she would have to be around a baby. The whole thing made her anxious.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine,” he said, as if reading her mind. “There were some complications at first, but everything is okay now. Go on in and see them while they’re both still awake.”

“All right,” Bryna said.

She was resolved to do this. She took a deep breath and then entered the hospital room. Celia was lying in bed. She looked exhausted, but she was holding on to a small bundle in her arms and didn’t even seem to notice her own fatigue.

“Bryna.” Celia looked up at her with a wide smile. “I’m so glad you came.”

Bryna shrugged uncomfortably. “Dad said there were problems?”

“I’m almost forty. It was expected. What’s important is you meeting your new sister.”

Celia offered Bryna the baby. She noticed how nervous Bryna was and showed her how to cradle the baby in her arms. Bryna was still shaking and freaked out, but she wasn’t going to drop her. The baby was so little. That would do some serious damage.

“What’s her name?” Bryna asked.

“Zoe Ava.”

“Hi, Zoe,” Bryna cooed.

Shit. She did not just fucking coo at a baby. Who the hell is this person inhabiting my body?

“You’re such a little thing,” she said to Zoe.

Celia laughed. “She’s actually perfectly healthy. Seven pounds and three ounces. Simply beautiful.”

“Fatty,” Bryna joked.

Zoe stared intently back up at her.

Celia shook her head. “She likes you.”

“She’d better,” Bryna said, not taking her eyes off of the baby. “I’m awesome.”

Celia laughed again. “You’re good with her. I knew you would be.”

“I don’t like babies,” Bryna said to Zoe. “But you’re family now. I guess I can’t let you turn out like the rest of them.” Bryna frowned at her own joke. She had wanted it to be funny, but all things considered, it wasn’t even true. “On second thought, we should get you a nanny who speaks a couple of languages. Then, you can talk circles around your mom and dad and turn out better than all of us.”

Celia’s eyebrows drew together. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“I know we haven’t gotten along in the past, and I pushed you too hard to try to be a family. But I truly only wanted the best for you. It might not seem like much, but I want to be family for you, and that doesn’t mean anything more than this right here, if you don’t want anything more. Know you are always free to talk to me…maybe just as a friend, if that’s easier.”

Bryna didn’t take her eyes off of Zoe. She couldn’t look up at Celia with all of her sincerity. This was the woman who had ruined her life and wrecked her parents’ marriage. Bryna was here for the baby. Yet Celia had sounded so heartfelt.

Zoe fussed, and Celia held her hands out to take her from Bryna. Once she was cuddled back against her mom, Bryna took a deep breath and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

“Tell me what happened with my dad. I only know the aftermath. Divorce, and boom, new mommy.”

“Oh, Bryna,” Celia said with so much sympathy in her eyes that Bryna had to look away.

“I need to know the truth.”

“I met Lawrence on set. I was working for a production company at the time. It was a coincidence that we ran into each other. Everyone was afraid of him so I ended up bringing a lot of stuff to him. I was doing errands that were a bit beneath me actually,” she said, remembering the incident with a smile. “I was there the day Olivia served him divorce papers. He made everyone else go home, but I didn’t know until it was too late. I’d been there myself, and I couldn’t leave him. So, I offered to take him to lunch. In a million years, I never thought it would lead to this,” she told Bryna.

“So…you didn’t even date until after Mom divorced him?” Bryna asked in surprise.

“Of course not! Well, I didn’t even really know him. Then, I got to know him, and we fell in love. Neither of us expected it. We both had kids who were nearly adults. We were both divorced. We never thought it would work. But then, one day, we decided that the past was the past. What was important to us was our kids and being happy. We knew everything else would work itself out.” Celia smiled down at little baby Zoe. “And it has.”

“So…you love him?”

“Love him?” she asked with a giggle. “We have a baby together! Of course I love him. I’ve never loved anyone more.”

“But how did you know?” Bryna asked.

“That I loved him?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, wow. No one has ever asked me that before.” She looked up thoughtfully contemplating the question. “I don’t know really. I can’t place it exactly, as if there were a moment when I didn’t love him, and then suddenly, I did. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about him. I always smiled at the thought. I stopped being able to imagine a life without him in it, and I was okay with that. I just knew. There was no going back.”

Bryna looked at Celia with uncertainty. How could it have been that easy? Nothing is that easy. She had put so much effort into all of her relationships, and they hadn’t panned out at all. If love is effortless, then how am I supposed to find it?

“Okay…”

“You know you don’t have to find love at eighteen.”

“Almost nineteen,” she reminded Celia.

“Yes…almost nineteen either. Look at me. I didn’t find it until I was almost forty!”

“Hmm…that’s true. Thanks.”

“Anytime, Bryna.”

Bryna stood and reached down to lightly pinch baby Zoe’s cheeks. She had a lot to think about. “You’re cute, little missy. You must have gotten that from me.”

Celia laughed. “Probably. She’s lucky to have a big sister like you.”

“Maybe I’ll come see Zoe again.”

“I’m sure she’d love that.”

Bryna and Celia shared a smile.

On her way out, Bryna shook her head in confusion. She’d had a completely civil conversation with her stepmother, and it hadn’t been terrible. Actually, it had been perfectly normal. She had no idea what had just happened.

“How was my little girl?” her dad asked once she was outside the room again.

“Good. I think she probably wants to see her dad though.”

He smiled brightly and then rushed back into the room. It was as if he were twenty years old again. Zoe had reenergized him just like Celia had when they got married. Why didn’t I see it before?

“So, you like the baby.”

Bryna turned around in a rush and saw Pace walking toward her.

“I’m surprised,” he continued, “that you came back from your vacation for this. After you were so adamantly against it, I didn’t think you’d show.”

“Yeah,” she said. She didn’t have it in her to argue with him right now.

“Aren’t you going to gloat?”

“About what?” she asked.

“Barcelona? This strange life you’re leading?”

Bryna arched an eyebrow. “No. There’s nothing to gloat about. I’m glad summer is almost over. How is Stacia?”

“You’re asking about Stacia?”

“Yes. I miss her,” she said plainly.

Pace softened at the mention of Stacia. A rare genuine smile touched his lips, replacing his typical sneer. “She’s good. She misses you, too.”

“So, you’re still together then.” She had suspected as much since she hadn’t heard from Stacia at all. She had only heard about Stacia through Trihn.

“We’ve been together all summer. She lives here in the city, you know.”

“Right. Her dad is the USC coach.”

“Her dad is…something,” he said uncertainly. “A bit controlling.”

“I’m not surprised. Has to be hard to try to control all that wild child in her.”

“Yeah. She’s fun that way.” He smirked.

There’s that asshole again.

“Ew. I can’t. Gross.”

Bryna walked away from him. She’d thought they were working toward a civil conversation, too, and then he had brought that shit up.

“Hey,” he called, following her. “Do you think you could talk to her?”

Bryna narrowed her eyes, wondering what the catch was. “Why?”

“She’s still upset that you’re mad at her. I don’t like to see her like this,” he admitted.

“I’m not going to talk to her because I care about what you say. Let’s make that clear.”

He nodded.

“I’ll do it because I care about Stacia. You just happen to be associated with her at the moment.”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

Bryna left the hospital lobby and took a cab back to her father’s house in the Hills. She dropped her luggage in her old room and stared around with a small smile on her face. It felt surreal to be back home. She hadn’t been back since Thanksgiving, and she hadn’t even realized she had missed it.

She had been missing a lot these days. Like the truth behind her parents’ divorce and how Celia and her father had gotten together. She had blamed it all on Celia. It was the easiest thing to do. But after what Celia had said at the hospital, Bryna wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe she had just been taking out all her anger on her stepmother. Either way, she had lost her mother, but that didn’t necessarily make it Celia’s fault. That revelation softened Bryna’s resolve for a minute.

She shook her head. She couldn’t deal with all of that today. Maybe her family was a little less fucked up now. It was an improvement. Something to think on later.

Right now, she needed to talk to Stacia.

Here goes nothing.

“Bryna!” Stacia yelled into the phone. “Oh my God! You’re calling me! From Barcelona!”

“Actually, I’m in L.A.”

“What? I didn’t know you were back.”

“Yeah. I actually got back into town this morning,” she said. “Do you think we could meet up? I want to talk.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah. Sure. Um…I’m at the beach in Santa Monica actually with some friends from high school. You’re welcome to join us if you want. Of course, if you’d rather me leave and come to you, I would totally understand that.”

“No, Santa Monica is fine. I haven’t driven in a couple of months, and I’m dying to use a stick shift again.”

Stacia laughed. “I would say I get that, but stick shifts and I do not get along.”

“You’re missing all the best cars then.” Just the thought of taking one of her dad’s cars out on the road made her skin tingle with excitement.

“I’ll let someone else drive me around in them.”

Bryna shook her head. “Typical. Anyway, I’ll be there soon.”

Even though she hadn’t spoken to Stacia in months, it had been so easy to fall back into their normal banter. Bryna wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to say to Stacia about Pace, but she couldn’t keep putting it off. She wanted her friend back, and they needed to work out their differences. They couldn’t do that through a wall of silence.

She threw on a bathing suit and then walked out to her dad’s garage. Her hands skimmed over the row of beautiful cars, yet her eyes were drawn to the cherry-red Porsche 911 GT3 convertible. It handled like a dream and her father would kill her if he knew how fast she took it out of the house. But it wasn’t supposed to be locked up. It needed to be set free.

The drive to Santa Monica wasn’t long enough for her taste. She might need to drive up and down the Pacific Coast Highway to release some more of her pent-up energy.

The valets were salivating at the chance to drive the thing. She tossed the keys to the guy who would have the pleasure.

“Don’t hurt my baby,” she said.

He nodded, awestruck, and she walked out to the beach. Finding Stacia took a bit of time, but eventually, she located her friend’s enormous hot-pink umbrella that gave Stacia’s position away on the beach.

Bryna stripped out of her tank top and stuffed it into her oversized Dolce bag. One of the guys sitting next to Stacia nudged his buddy next to him when he saw Bryna. They were both ogling every inch of her Spanish sun–kissed skin.

Stacia didn’t seem to notice as she sprang to her feet and rushed toward Bryna. “You’re here!” She pulled Bryna into a big hug. Stacia dusted sand off of her and motioned for them to walk down the beach. “I’ll be right back,” she called to her friends.

Once they were a sufficient distance away, Bryna spoke up, “I saw Pace earlier.”

“Yeah?” Stacia said uncertainly. “He didn’t tell me you were back.”

Bryna shrugged. “I didn’t exactly tell him. I went to see the new baby.”

“Really? Pace told me that Celia had her baby. Little Zoe? Is she adorable?”

“She is actually.”

“I know neither of you were thrilled she was having another kid.”

“We weren’t, but it’s hard to hate a baby. She didn’t do anything, you know?” Bryna laughed. “It’s not her fault my family is fucked up.”

“So, did you come back for the baby? Trihn said you were supposed to be in Barcelona all summer.”

Bryna wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about what had happened with Hugh. The baby had been an excuse, but the reason she’d left was Hugh. She had a lot to think about before she would be prepared to tell her friends about her adventures.

“Change of plans,” Bryna said.

Stacia grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks. “Bryna, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have blindsided you about my relationship with Pace. He warned me that you wouldn’t like it, but I had no idea it would be this big of a deal!”

Bryna waved her hand. “I know. It’s okay.”

“It is?” Stacia asked in confusion.

“Yeah. I guess it is.”

“Why? You make me nervous.”

“I don’t like Pace. I don’t think he’s a good person or has good intentions. I’ve known him for too long not to know the tricks he likes to play. The last thing I would want to happen is for you to fall into one of them, but he does seem to legitimately care about you, I guess.” Bryna smiled at her friend. “I’ve had an…eye-opening summer, to say the least, but I’m not suddenly a different person. I don’t have to like Pace. You do. I have it on good authority that you would dump his ass if he treated you poorly.”

Stacia laughed. “Trihn?”

“Yeah. Plus, I don’t think he’s worth losing a friend over.”

Stacia threw her arms around Bryna, and they hugged on the beach. “Seriously, what happened to you this summer? Trihn told me about Eric and then Barcelona…”

“I feel like I put a lot of effort into what is supposed to be an effortless exterior. I don’t want to do that anymore.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if it makes sense, especially since the head bitch isn’t vacating her throne. I want to try to live for a new me.”

Bryna hadn’t realized how true the statement was until it left her mouth. It took so much time to maintain this personality that people associated with her. Her friends, Eric, Hugh—they all saw a different side of her. At this point, she didn’t know which one was the real Bryna. It had been a soul-searching summer, and she was ready to move on.

“Well, I love the new you. Let’s get back to my friends. We have so much to catch up on.”

Bryna bit on her lip. She had one more thing to do before she could completely start fresh again. One more burned bridge.

“I’d love to.” She longingly looked out at the beach. “But I have someone I need to visit.”

THIS WAS GOING TO BE a whole hell of a lot harder than talking to Stacia.

Gates.

She hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he had kicked her out of his premiere during her senior year. He was her first real boyfriend, her best friend, and one of her biggest mistakes. She hadn’t spoken with him since that night nearly a year and a half ago when she did what she thought was irreparable damage to their relationship.

He had told her he loved her, and she had told him to fuck off. It didn’t exactly leave her in an inspiring place to get back into his life.

Things weren’t perfect between them. They never had been, but in a way, they were the only ones in each other’s lives who really got each other. She had taken advantage of him. He had gotten swept away by her. They were horribly wrong for each other. Too similar in most ways. Both had egos larger than the Pacific Ocean. But as much as she’d wanted it to seem like she didn’t care that she didn’t talk to him anymore…she cared.

Bryna didn’t even know where to begin initiating this contact. Some part of her wanted to show up at his place and force him to talk to her. But that was the part of her that allowed herself to imagine his rejection. The other part of her knew that calling would be the right choice…even if he didn’t answer…even if he didn’t want to see her.

She got back into the Porsche, replaced the convertible top, took a deep breath, and dialed his number.

She waited an interminable amount of time before the line clicked over.

“Well, that’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.”

“Hey, Gates,” she said. It was surreal to hear his voice.

“What can I do you for, Bri?” he asked.

She could tell that he was going to be difficult, and she didn’t blame him.

“The tabloids say you’re in L.A.”

“You follow the tabloids now?” he asked.

She only knew he was here by chance after scrolling through a tabloid on the plane. She normally didn’t follow them.

She was suddenly nervous about this whole thing. But it was Gates. They had known each other too long. She could do this.

“What are you up to right now?”

“Cut to the chase, Bri. I don’t have all day for this,” he said, his voice cutting like ice.

“Can I come over? We need to talk,” she said quickly.

“Is this Bryna Turner? I haven’t heard from her in over a year and I’m confused right now.”

“Gates, don’t be a fucker.”

He laughed at her outburst. “Oh, there she is.”

“Yeah. Same old me,” she said dryly.

“Seriously, what do you want?”

“I just want to talk, honestly.”

“Am I going to want to hear what you have to say?” he asked, clearly cautious.

After all this time, what could I possibly say to change his mind about me? Maybe nothing. But if she said nothing, then nothing would change. And hearing his voice confirmed how much she wanted things to change. She had been able to rely on him for everything, and even if she didn’t want anything romantic with him, she still wanted his friendship. That was worth something to her. She hoped it still was for him.

“You know, I’m really busy,” Gates continued.

“Cut the shit. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important, and you know it. If I know you at all, you’re probably sitting around in your boxers, playing Xbox.”

After a minute, he responded, “Damn. You know me too well.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I did.”

“Okay. Fine. I’m too damn curious now. Come on over. This’d better be good.”

“It is,” she murmured before disconnecting.

At least…she hoped so.

The drive to Gates’s place was easy. She pulled up to the attendant, he cleared her through the gate, and she drove up to his mansion. It was enormous and far too much for someone his age. But who am I to talk? She had a house of her own that she hadn’t even worked for. At least he had this because his movies had taken off.

When she knocked on the door, she was unsurprised to see him wearing dark jeans and a fit red polo. His dark brown hair was spiked up in the front, and his blue eyes were apprehensive. His hesitant smile wasn’t the one that he used for the cameras that made all of America melt. But he still looked like her Gates, and he was still gorgeous.

“Hey,” he said.

She cleared her throat and looked away from his bright blue eyes. She’d fallen victim to them a time or two in the past. “Hey.”

“I guess…come in.”

“Thanks,” she said, bypassing him and walking into the living room.

“This is weird,” Gates said once he joined her.

“Yeah. A bit.”

“I mean…have you ever seen the downstairs to my place?”

Bryna shrugged. “I honestly don’t think so.”

“Yeah. We mostly occupied the bedroom.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell between them. It had never been there before, but the time apart and the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the dissolution of their friendship had forced the wedge between them. There was so much that needed to be said, and it all hung between them.

“Anyway,” she whispered.

“I never thought I’d hear from you again,” he said, breaking the barrier.

“I know. I never intended to call.”

His eyes narrowed. “Then, why did you?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Well, you asked to come over here.” He walked to the couch and plopped down.

His posture showed that he was uncomfortable with what was going on, and she didn’t know how to make this easier. This wasn’t her forte.

She barreled forward, not wanting to lose her nerve. “So…remember that time you told me you loved me, and I didn’t believe you?”

Gates glared at her. “The night you told me to fuck off at my own premiere the day before Valentine’s Day? Then, I didn’t hear from you ever again? How exactly do you think I could forget that?”

She took a steadying breath and sat down across from him on the coffee table. “Apparently, I make a habit of it.”

“A habit of what?” he asked curiously.

“Not believing people when they tell me they love me, not realizing they love me, and royally fucking up everything in the aftermath.”

Gates looked taken aback at that. “Ah, I see. So, who was the victim this time?” He sounded bitter.

“Hugh Westercamp,” she answered honestly. She couldn’t lie to Gates. What good would hiding the truth do now?

Hugh was out of her life by her own choice, and any damage she could do to his character had already been done to his heart.

“The hotel executive?” he asked in disbelief.

“That’s the one.”

Gates whistled under his breath. “Damn. You’ve upped your game.”

“I did,” she agreed. “But I’ve decided to give it up.”

“What? Hugh?”

“No. The game,” she told him.

He laughed until he realized she wasn’t joking. “Bri, come on. You’ve got to be kidding, right? Games are in your blood. You live and breathe scheming. You always have.”

“You’re right,” she acquiesced easily. “But when I play games, I hurt people.” She looked him directly in the eyes now. “I hurt you, and I’m sorry about that.”

Gates didn’t say anything for a minute. He stared at her, speechless. She knew she wasn’t good at apologies. Until Eric, she hadn’t even really apologized to anyone. It wasn’t who she was, but she had wronged Gates by letting this gap between them continue, and she needed to make amends.

“Did you just apologize?”

“I should have a long time ago. I know I told you we were broken up, but the line was fuzzy. I could have handled it better.”

His jaw dropped. “What the fuck happened to you?”

She laughed at his shock. “I guess…I saw the light.”

“I guess is right.”

“I’m still me. I can’t change the head bitch, but I wanted to apologize even if you don’t want to talk to me or be friends again. I had to let you know that I still want that even though I know I don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t want that,” he said immediately.

She tried not to flinch at his harsh words. Of course he didn’t want that. “All right. Well, I said what I came to say.” She stood and hurriedly started toward the door.

“Hey,” he said, catching her arm before she could run off. “I said I don’t, but what I meant was that I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want us to be friends again.”

“Great clarification,” she said sarcastically.

“Look, I dreamed of the day this would happen, and you never came to me. I couldn’t go to you. I tried to move on. But I guess I’ve realized I should have gone to you a long time ago. I loved you, Bri. I knew you hated hearing it. I knew you didn’t feel the same way. Yet I pushed, and that wasn’t fair either. We’ve both done some pretty shitty things to each other, but we’ve been friends for a long time.”

“We have,” she agreed.

She was shocked that he had said those things. She never would have guessed that he felt this way about what had happened.

“It’s been hard without you.”

“No one to keep your ego in check?” she joked.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said.

But he was laughing. Suddenly, all the tension that had been between them seemed to leave his shoulders. She didn’t think they would be perfect, but she was willing to try.

“Are we cool?” she asked.

“It’s a start.”

“I can live with that.” It was more than she had expected.

“Come on, you.” He directed her out through the back door and to his pool.

Her mind immediately went back to a different pool where she and Eric used to hang out with margaritas and burgers she couldn’t always eat. It made her sigh as she lounged back on a chair.

Speaking of Eric…

“Now that we’re kind of on the same page,” she said, narrowing her eyes, “you put me in quite the bind last year.”

“How? I wasn’t even around!”

“Do you remember when we went to LV State for my campus visit?”

He shrugged. “Sure. You got trashed.”

“That night, you told me that Eric Wilkins was gay!” she spat. “And you told him that I was a slut and to stay away from me!”

Gates looked at her and then busted out laughing. “Holy shit! I forgot all about that.”

“I can’t believe you did that!”

“Hey! I never said he was gay! You inferred that. And, at the time, I didn’t want anyone else near you.”

“Yeah, well, thanks for the heads-up. Jesus. I spent the last year thinking he was gay, and now…he’s not.”

She looked away from Gates, but she was sure he had read her expression. They had known each other for too long that even a little distance couldn’t change that.

“So, you like him.”

“No,” she said fiercely. She didn’t know what she felt for Eric. She still couldn’t get the image of him with Audrey out of her mind even if she knew it was irrational since she had been with someone else the whole time. But she missed him, and that sucked. “It’s complicated.”

“Everything always is with you.”