Текст книги "Tell Me You Need Me"

Автор книги: Joya Ryan

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

Chapter Eleven

Gage wanted to chase after her, but Chloe knew him better than he knew himself. The girl’s parents were missing, and he had to go out there to make sure the family was reunited.

His chest was sore, as if Chloe had snatched his heart from between his ribs and run off with it. But he had to focus. Had to get back out there. It was his single objective.

Footsteps and the loud ruckus of conversation drifted into the room. Gage recognized some of the voices from his rescue team just before East stepped into the room.

“Hey.”

“Not now,” Gage growled.

“Whoa, easy tiger. I was coming to tell you the good news. The parents were found. Thankfully they stuck together and seem to be in good shape.”

Gage blinked. The parents were found? The family was okay? And they’d finished the job without him? “What?” His mind and body slowed for the first time in hours. “Who found them?”

East smiled. “The new recruits you trained. They were like carbon copies of you. They moved and examined the area exactly like you taught them. I swear, it was like watching you out there.”

Gage was half stunned and happy. The guys stuck to their training and acted on his behalf the way he’d taught them. He had done this.

“It’s a good fuckin’ day, man,” East said. “Everyone survived with nothing more than a few scratches.”

The adrenaline that’d kept Gage functioning drained from his limbs like an emptying whirlpool. They were okay.

Relief settled in his bones as clarity hit him like a punch to the stomach. Chloe had left him. She’d told him she’d loved him, and then she’d walked away.

He clutched his throbbing knee but nothing compared to the fear, the relief, the instant flood of countering emotions. Was this how she’d felt when she’d come to the hospital and seen him?

He couldn’t remember really seeing her or hearing what she’d said. He’d been too busy trying to leave.

“Christ,” he muttered. “The event.”

The restaurant anniversary she’d been working hard on was tonight, and she’d left it to come to him because she was worried.

And I dismissed her.

“You okay?” East asked. “You look like you could use a beer.”

Actually, he could. Maybe taking a breather to figure out how to tackle the situation with Chloe was best. He also needed a minute to sort through what he was going to say. Because his world had been crumbling around him, but he was only realizing it now.

He could try to make this work with Chloe. Surely, he could make this work.

She loves me…

The word rolled in his mind, over and over. She loved him, which made him damn lucky. But she hated that she loved him, and he’d just fucked up royally.

East raised a brow. “So I thought I heard Chloe earlier… I take it you’re having lady problems?”

Gage finished lacing his boot. “You could say that. Thanks for telling her to freak her out.”

“Hey, there was spotty service and she hung up and rushed over here before I could tell her it was just your leg. Besides, I figured you’d want her to know.”

Yeah, he did. But he didn’t know she’d react that way. Now he was on the brink of losing her for good. Maybe he already had– No. He wasn’t giving up on his mission. It was his most important one yet.

“I’ll make it work,” Gage said.

“Uh-huh. Because you know what’s best, and surely you can waltz in and out and Chloe will fall in line.”

Gage glared at him. It’d already been a long day, and now East was pulling this shit again. “What’s your problem?”

But East came back with his own glare. “Watching you screw this up from day one is getting annoying. Chloe doesn’t do commitment. She doesn’t wait around. And you want both from her just on the promise that you can make it work.”

“Yes!” Gage slammed his hand on the bed. “I have to make it work, East.” He took a deep breath. “I love her.”

East’s eyes shot wide. “Well, hell. That puts you in a big shit storm then.”

“I have to talk to her. She’s mad I was going to go back out. Now I’m not since the parents were found, so problem solved.”

“Man, you are thick,” East said. “If you think that’s your problem, you’re in bigger trouble than I thought.”

“She’ll understand I couldn’t have sat around and done nothing while people were in trouble.”

“Oh, I agree. She’ll understand—in fact, I bet she already does understand. But it doesn’t change that you fucked up. You put the need to be there for others before taking care of yourself. You know you shouldn’t have gone back out. You would’ve told any of us if we were injured to not go because we’d put everyone at risk going out with an injury. You’ve got something way worse than hero syndrome. This is bordering on suicidal. And the worst part is that you’ve got a woman screaming at you with a reason to wake up and see what you’re doing, and you don’t give a shit.”

Gage scowled. “Yes I do!”

“Then stop putting yourself before her. Fuck, stop putting yourself before both of you. If you want to be a couple, you have to stop thinking about what you need. This is about more than you. It’s about both of you now. It has nothing to do with your job. You’re showing her she can’t trust you to make a smart decision.”

East’s words hit really fucking deep and Gage almost choked on the realization. He was right. Chloe was terrified of commitment, yet she’d dropped everything that mattered to her to be here for him. And all he’d told her was to wait.

“I really fucked up,” Gage said.

East clapped his hands together. “Ding, ding, ding! Now you’re getting it.”

Only now, Gage had to do something about it.

Chapter Twelve

“Damn!” Chloe threw the wooden spoon across the room. She wasn’t one for dramatics, but she couldn’t take any more. The event was in twenty minutes and she was on her final attempt of crab cakes—and it was more burned than the last batch because she’d left it to run to the hospital only to have her heart broken.

She looked around her restaurant’s kitchen. Guests were arriving downstairs and she’d have to welcome them soon. Without crab cakes, success, or Gage. She was alone.

The place was quiet and smelled like burned crab cakes and failure. And the stupid part was that she was still waiting.

Waiting for him to come back.

Waiting for him to make it better.

It hurt just thinking of him, because a part of her had been waiting this whole time.

Was this what it had been like for her mom? She’d always assumed her dad had been a jerk who never deserved her mom’s love. But maybe there’d been something more there. Gage was the man who’d broken down her walls and made her greatest dreams and fears come true.

And I told him I couldn’t take this…

Someone knocked on the door, and she bit back the sob. She ran to the door and opened it, unable to snuff out the spark of hope that it might be Gage.

It wasn’t. Why would it be? He was gone. She’d made sure of that.

“Hey,” Natalie said.

“Hi,” Chloe whispered back.

“Everything okay?”

“Nope,” she answered honestly. “I still can’t make these right.”

Natalie pulled her into a hug. “You know, the food is covered and everything is all ready to go. The chef nailed all of your mom’s other appetizers, and the new menu items are set. If you don’t have the crab cakes, no one will notice.”

“That’s not the point,” she whispered.

“I know.”

Natalie was trying to help, but Chloe just felt worse. She wanted to make something, feel that connection again with her mother, but she couldn’t. The dish had beaten her. The reality was Chloe didn’t have anything in common with her mother other than getting too attached to people who didn’t want her back.

“This was going to be my one thing,” she said against Natalie’s shoulder.

“I know.”

Chloe shook her head, wiped her eyes, and stepped back. “I’m going to go down there. Everyone is waiting.”

She also needed a break from thinking. And failing. And reality.

“I just need a sec to freshen my makeup.”

“Okay,” Natalie whispered. “I’ll be right down there with you if you need me.”

She nodded and shut the door behind her friend. Everything was geared up to go without a problem. Except Chloe was still alone and had accomplished nothing.

Chapter Thirteen

Gage went through the back door of the restaurant and snuck around to the kitchen. He’d technically committed robbery tonight. Though he was calling it “borrowing a set of clean scrubs that were left out at the hospital.” But he’d been dirty and his pants were muddy and ripped, and he couldn’t show up to Chloe’s restaurant like that. He also couldn’t spare much time. So blue scrubs it was! He didn’t exactly look the part of “the good doctor,” but at least he was clean.

He’d come as quickly as he could. Tonight was important to Chloe. Not only would he be here, he’d set right what he should have two weeks ago.

He hoped he wasn’t too late since he’d made a stop on the way, but he needed to do something big if he wanted to make up for confirming every one of Chloe’s worst fears. Better to be late and get it right than on time and ruin it forever.

Everyone looked to be having a good time and chatting. Technically the place had been open for the event for the past hour, so maybe fashionably late would be okay. Point was, he’d made it. And the stop beforehand would be worth it…he hoped.

He stayed in the shadows between the bar and kitchen. Everyone was on the main floor, and that’s when he spotted her.

Chloe.

She was beautiful. Her dress, hair, face—she was the loveliest woman he’d ever seen. She spoke with everyone, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. In fact, her gaze looked a little glossy.

And it was his fault.

She moved through the crowd so gracefully it made his heart jump, but she didn’t see him. Not yet.

Didn’t matter. She was his—always had been. And he had to make this work.

Finally, she headed toward the kitchen…

“Sweetheart,” he said as soon as she stepped inside.

Chloe jumped. “What are you doing here?”

He slid the small covered dish he’d brought toward her. “This is for you.”

She frowned at the dish and shook her head. “Are you okay?” She covered her mouth. “Is the family okay? Did you find her parents?”

“The parents are fine. They’re all together again.”

She nodded. “So you did your job.”

“Actually, I didn’t go back out. The team I trained found the parents.”

He watched her chest rise and fall on a heavy breath. She cared about him. Worried about him. And he’d made her worry more.

She frowned and her eyes ran the length of him. “Um, Gage…what are you wearing?”

He glanced down the front of himself. “Scrubs.”

“Uh-huh.” She looked him over again.

“What? You’re not into the doctor look?”

A small smile broke her lips. “You look like a GI Joe dressed up to play doctor, right after you jump out of a helicopter and meet the A-Team for a rendezvous at headquarters.”

Well, that was better than her telling him he looked like a jackass. Because he felt like one.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I would have dressed up. I really am so sorry, and I just needed to get here. I would have been here sooner, but I—”

“Have a job. People to save. I know. I get it. And I’m not mad about it.”

“Actually, I was going to say I had to make this…” He slid the dish toward her again, and she opened it.

“Crab cakes?” she asked.

“A few days ago Natalie said you were struggling, so she gave me the recipe. I don’t know if they’re exactly like your mom’s, but maybe they’re close?”

Chloe stared into the dish and covered her mouth with her palm. “They look exactly the same. Thank you.” That look in her eye softened. “They’re raw.”

“Well yeah, I put them together, but you are going to cook them.”

“I can’t,” she said.

“Yes, you can.”

“Gage, don’t. I can’t do this with you right now. I have people here and—”

“How much time do you have?”

She shrugged. “Twenty minutes maybe.”

“That’s plenty to cook these. You don’t have to forgive me yet, but these need to be made. Let’s go.”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. There was pain in her voice, and Gage wanted to make it better. The scary thing was, he didn’t know if this would work either. Didn’t know if she’d actually forgive him when this was all done. Didn’t know where they stood or if they had any kind of future at all.

All he knew how to do was to stick to the mission. But now the mission was more than going out into the field. It was about more than saving strangers. When it came to him and Chloe, it was about saving them.

He heated up the skillet in the restaurant’s industrial kitchen. For the moment, they were alone. The faint sounds of the bustling people wafted past them.

“Slow burn,” he said, putting the oil in the pan. “You just have to maintain the steady heat.”

She looked at him, and he saw something sad in her expression. Was this the look she’d described seeing in her mother’s eyes? It was soul shattering. And he’d put that look on her face. He had to fix it. Had to try.

“It’s ready,” he said, gesturing to the pan.

She tentatively reached for one of the crab cakes. He put his hand on top of hers, stilling her for a moment.

“Remember, Chloe. Don’t force it. Just love it.”

She looked at him, and for a moment he thought she was going to cry, but then she gently set the crab cake in the oil. Her eyes widened as she watched the appetizer slowly brown.

“Flip it,” he instructed.

She did.

The golden color was perfect and in a few moments, it was done.

She scooped it out and placed it on a serve tray.

“It looks perfect,” she said. She made the next, then the next, while Gage watched her. She was doing it. On her own. The question was, would Chloe want to be on her own in everything from here on out?

Before he could voice that one question, that one fear, Natalie stepped in and said it was time for Chloe’s speech.

With the last crab cake finished, Gage couldn’t give her a reason to delay going out there.

She sighed. “I have to go.”

“This time I’ll wait for you,” he said. “Just please tell me you’re coming back.”

She paused, then said, “I have to go.”

And then she walked out of the kitchen and toward the podium in the main room.

The event was going great. The grand reopening for the twentieth anniversary had brought in tons of people, and the refinished balcony was a hit. The band was playing smooth jazz on the small stage they’d set up in the corner, and everyone seemed to be having fun.

Except for her.

She’d been ready to live the rest of her days missing him. And then he was here, the last thing she’d expected, and all those feelings came back to the surface. The elation at seeing him and the fear that this would mean losing him all over again.

Her mother’s spirit was definitely around, but so was the pain of loss. And when it came to Gage, she only had herself to blame for pushing him away. But she wouldn’t repeat that mistake. Not now. Not ever.

She loved him.

He’d come through for her. Helped her accomplish what she wanted to do. Gave her space to be her own person. She had to do the same back for him.

Natalie nudged her shoulder toward the stage. “Good luck.” Her friend looked beautiful in her dress. While the event was casual, a lot of people had busted out button-ups and cocktail dresses for the occasion. The twinkly lights were strung high and lit up the whole place with soft yellows and creams.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“Thank everyone for coming and say whatever feels right.”

Great, that shouldn’t be too tough. Yeah, right.

With a heavy chest, she walked to the small stage. The band slowed the music and eventually stopped when she smiled at them and stepped in front of the mic.

People gathered around, all eyes fused on her.

“Thank you everyone for coming,” she said. Her anxiety kicked up a notch as she looked around the room of smiling faces. “My mother would be so happy. She loved this town. Loved all of you.”

The words stuck in her throat. She took a deep breath, then continued. “Funny thing about love…it’s amazing. And scary as hell.”

Everyone laughed, and she felt the urge to tell them how serious she was. She glanced at the French doors near the back and saw him. Gage.

He stepped from the shadows and smiled at her. Looking at her, seeing her, simply being there for her.

Her breath caught, and her heart stalled.

“Love is really scary,” she said softer into the mic, keeping her eyes on Gage. “Because love is a risk. You put everything you have into something, like my mother did with this place.” She glanced around quickly. “She put her heart and soul into this place because she believed in it. Because she wanted roots and a home. It was a risk, but she took it. She knew if it didn’t work that it’d break her heart, but she loved it too much not to take the chance.”

She swallowed hard and locked her gaze back on Gage. He slowly moved through the crowd, and those dark eyes of his never left her face.

“This whole time I’ve been scared,” she said. “I was so focused on the fear of the risk, but nothing good in life is easy, especially love. It’s what drives us. And I’m going to let go of the wheel and hope I stay on the road. But if I get lost…” She folded her lips, and the sting in her heart rose as she spoke to the one man she’d ever loved. “I have faith I won’t be lost for long. Because there’s someone who will come find me.”

Gage’s dark gaze fused to hers. He nodded with that soft, sexy smile.

Everyone clapped, and Chloe blinked. There were tons of people in the room, but all she saw was Gage.

“Thank you all.” The band started up again, and everyone began chatting and dancing. Chloe hustled down the stage and made a beeline for the man she’d hoped would come find her.

She didn’t stop until she flung herself into his arms.

Chloe clutched him close. “You shocked me.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“But you came back.”

“I told you I would.” He cupped her face and kissed her.

“But I pushed you away, too. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re going to have to push a lot harder, sweetheart.” He ran his nose against hers. “I’m sorry, too. It wasn’t fair to make you worry and ask you to wait for me. If you put yourself in danger, I’d tie you down and refuse to let you go.”

She raised a brow, kind of liking the sound of that, but Gage was trying to see things from her perspective.

“I understand now,” he said. “I want to be with you. Stay with you. I want to be a part of your world—that’s all I’ve wanted this whole time. But I got scared about losing my purpose.”

She faced him and looked deep into those dark eyes. He was being honest, and like it or not, she had to return the favor.

“Baby, I know what your purpose is,” she said. “And I’m never going to keep you from it. You’re here until you get called again because you need to help people. You need to save them.”

“That’s just it,” he said. “I can save people from here.”

She swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“East offered me a permanent training position as head of S&R in Beaufort. That little girl’s parents? The team I trained saved them. And I can’t explain it, but the pride I felt seeing them fulfill the same purpose I’ve held on to…it showed me what I really need to do. I can save more people by training recruits than I ever could on my own. And maybe, by sticking around, you can save me, too.”

She closed her eyes, unable to hold back a swell of tears. “What about if they need you for some emergency?”

“I’ll still go out on calls if there’s an emergency, but day-to-day, I’ll be right here. Doing my best to be the man who deserves your love.”

Her heart was going to explode with joy. She was still crying, but a smile burst onto her face. “Doesn’t excuse you being late to my restaurant’s anniversary.”

He laughed as he reached into his pants pocket. “I deserve that. But I have a good excuse.”

“I know, thank you for the crab cakes.”

“I don’t mean the crab cakes.” He pulled a small box from his pocket—

And the world around her paused.

He knelt on his good knee and winced a little.

“Gage, you’re going to hurt yourself!” She went down to her knees, too. “What the hell are you doing?”

He smiled. “Well, I’m trying to propose to you, so if you could stand back up, that’d sure help me out a lot.”

Her eyes went wide, and he popped the box open, revealing a dazzling diamond ring.

“Will you let me be yours forever?”

If he’d even suggested this kind of commitment when he first came back to town, she’d have gladly sent him into the mountains and made sure no one ever found him. But now she knew what life was like without him, and the hope that he could be hers now and forever was too good to ever let go.

“Yes!” She grinned and kissed him hard with everything she had. “I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart.” He tugged her closer. “And I hope you like the sight of this face, because you’re going to be seeing a lot of it. You’ll never miss me again. I’m going to be so close to you you’ll be sick of me. You’ll be begging for me to go on a mission.”

“Can’t wait.” She smiled and held on to the man who owned her heart and her future.