Текст книги "Love Me"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

Wednesday, November 9th

We’ve changed.

7:30am

Cooper and I got back late last night. I woke up to a sweet text from Aiden.

Hottie God:  I missed you. Breakfast?

After all the excitement of the last two days, I decide to wear a really cute uniform look.

Then I meet Aiden for breakfast.

“So, how was your trip? Was your sister surprised?” Aiden asks as we sit down in the café.

“She was so surprised.”

“So tell me more about the party.”

I wish I could tell him everything. How scary it was to see Vincent at the airport. How amazing it felt to sit on the beach and to surf again. How I’ve been wanting to go home so badly.

But how home has changed.

“Well, she loved my presents. Used them to put on a little play. She got chocolate chips, and the stage she wanted, and she got to build sandy castles with . . .”

“With?”

“My ex. He was there when I got there. I had called him because she asked for something special from him. I just wanted him to send her something, but he actually gave her what she asked for.”

“And what was that?”

“She wanted to build sand castles with him. He bought her a sand box.”

“But if your family is just visiting Vancouver, how did that work? Were you at a hotel?”

“Um, no. Uh, they leased a house because my stepdad has business there. Hotels are tricky with four little kids, a dog, and a nanny.”

“Oh, so they’ll be in the country more often?”

“Yeah, I think maybe. We didn’t really talk much about that. It was all about the party.”

“And what about the Keats guy? How was seeing him?”

“Emotional.”

“Emotional, how?”

“Like, a lot of emotions. First, I was shocked that he was there. Then I was touched that he was. Sometimes it felt normal, like we’d never fought. Like we were friends again. Other times it felt a little awkward. Some of the things he said made me want to cry. Other things made me want to laugh.”

Aiden laughs. “That is a lot of emotions.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t mention love. Are you still in love with him?”

“I think part of me will always love him. But right now, no, I’m not in love with him. I can’t be.”

“Why can’t you be?”

“Because we can’t be together. I’m here. He’s off doing his thing. He’s grown up a lot, though. Going abroad has been really good for him.”

“Did you kiss him?”

“Right when I was getting ready to leave, he kissed me. Once, on the lips.”

“And how did it feel?”

“Different.”

“Why is that?”

“Because we’ve changed.” I gaze into Aiden’s eyes. “Because, he’s not you.”

Aiden’s eyes search mine for the truth. He must see what he’s looking for because he puts his hand behind my neck and guides my lips toward his.

And when they touch, I realize why the beach didn’t feel like home anymore.

Because Aiden wasn’t on it.

After we kiss, I say, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening to what happened without getting mad and walking away.”

He murmurs into my ear, “I’m never walking away again.”

I owned your rug.

History

I bring Riley a cup of coffee to history class.

“Oh,” he snaps. “I have a pickup line I meant to tell Dallas.”

“And the coffee reminded you of it?’

“Yeah. Next time he’s standing in line for coffee and there’s a hot girl there, he should say, Do you like it steamy or creamy?”

“How is that even a pickup line? You just made a naughty comment.”

“I have one I’d like to say to Ariela right about now.”

“What’s that?”

“I say we bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.”

I give Riley a fist bump. “You and I think a lot alike. I’d like to say that to Aiden too.”

“Ooooh. You wanna get naked with Aiden?”

“Mr. Johnson, Miss Monroe, I’m trying to give a lecture here.”

Riley and I roll our eyes at each other. Then sit here bored to tears.

I whisper to him, “You know, it seems silly in this day and age that we have to take notes.”

“I don’t take notes. I let you take them for me. I’m a good delegator.”

“You’re not a delegator. You’re lazy.”

“You’re the one working while I’m texting my sexy girlfriend. What does that make you?”

I shake my head. “Why can’t he just email notes to us? Although, if I didn’t take notes, I’d probably fall asleep. And is it naughty texting?”

“Just stuff,” Riley says with an adorable grin. I swear, he’s gotten even cuter since he and Ariela started dating. He still has that cocky swagger, but he just beams all the time.

“What kind of stuff? I’m stuck in junior high with Aiden. Let me live vicariously through you.”

Riley almost drops his phone. “What about Dawson?”

“I haven’t done anything with him lately.”

“Why?”

“Because Aiden kissed me with his tongue.”

The teacher shushes us again, so he texts me.

Riley:  So you like Aiden?

Me:  Yeah. Although, when I went to visit my family, my ex was there.

Riley:  How did that go?

Me:  We’ve become friends again.

Riley:  Just friends?

Me:  Yeah, for now. I don’t know what the future will hold. 

Riley:  Your ex was a jerk to you. You should forget about him.

Me:  He was my first love. Part of me still loves him. 

Riley:  Sometimes the past should stay in the past. 

Me:  HA! Someone should tell our teacher that!

Riley:  I dare you to ask him why we have to study history.

I raise my hand and interrupt the lecture.

“Yes, Miss Monroe?”

“Why do we have to study history?”

“Well, that’s easy. We study history so we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.”

Riley:  OMFG! The universe just spoke to you again! How does THAT relate to your life?

Me:  Are you saying if I got back together with my ex that I would be repeating the mistakes of my past?

Riley:  Uh, yeah.

Me:  People grow and change. He’s changed. He’s not the person that he used to be. Neither am I.

Riley:  I REALLY want to have sex with Ariela on the furry rug, but if I try, will she get mad at me again? Would that be repeating a mistake of my past?

Me:  I have no idea. But I’ve always wanted to have sex on the furry rug too.

Riley:  You’ve been coveting my rug?!

Me: I owned your rug. Has Dallas had sex on the rug?

Riley’s eyes get huge and he holds his hands up to his chin like he’s covering himself up. “He wouldn’t dare! Would he?”

I just shrug my shoulders.

Shirtless for five days.

Ceramics

Peyton texts me during ceramics.

Peyton:  After you and Aiden went to that French restaurant, he told me you said something about us going to St. Croix with you for Thanksgiving break. We just found out that our parents are going to be on a safari. Whitney wants me to come with her to Palm Beach. Needless to say, the idea of spending the break with her family makes me want to poke my own eyes out. I thought about going to the Johnsons. I know that Riley and Aiden are friends, but I didn’t want it to be awkward with Dawson. So that’s kinda out. That leaves St. Croix with you.

Me:  Glad to hear I’m so high on the list of options.

Peyton:  You are first on our list of options. I’m just telling you that my backup plans suck so that you will feel sorry for us and say yes.

I imagine being there with Aiden. Seeing him shirtless for five days straight.

Me:  Yes.

Peyton:  Really?!!!!!! Yay!!! We’re going to have so much fun. And I promise that I won’t be like an annoying third wheel or anything. I’ll let you have time alone. I just want a beach chair, a view, and a good book. 

Me:  No boys?

Peyton:  No boys. But if you could arrange to bring hottie Cooper, I’d gladly take a man.

Me:  Very funny.

Peyton:  Do I need to book flights? When do we need to leave?

Me:  I booked a charter flight, so you can just join me. I’ll have a car pick us up on Wednesday at noon and drop us of at the Municipal airport. 

Peyton:  Sounds good :) Yay!!

That’s harsh.

French

“Peyton said she talked to you about Thanksgiving break. Sounds like it’s gonna be the three of us in St. Croix.”

“It should be fun.”

“Tell me about the house. What we’ll do.”

“Well, since I was little, we’ve been calling the house The Crab. I can’t remember why we named it that. It has a full staff, so we won’t exactly be roughing it. It’s very laid back but very luxurious. The perfect mix. It’s one of my favorite places ever. Like paradise. It has a rooftop balcony on top of a turret overlooking the ocean. And the bedroom I always stay in is in the turret. It’s amazing. Want to know my other favorite thing?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a fountain with a tile mosaic of a prince and a mermaid, who’s sitting on top of a treasure chest. The Little Mermaid has always been my favorite Disney movie. Of course that may be because I wanted to marry Prince Eric.”

“Why’s that?”

“He had a castle on the beach.”

He laughs. “Do you want to live in a castle on the beach someday?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it sounds perfect. I’m looking forward to both it and going to your loft this weekend. Mostly, I’m looking forward to just hanging out with you.”

“I’m looking forward to the loft too. Between the play and traveling, I’m tired. Not to mention behind on my homework.”

“Maybe we should meet in the library to study tonight.”

“Not your room?”

“If you come to my room, we’ll kiss and not study.”

“I’m kind of obsessed with your tongue.”

“Why do you think I waited so long?”

“Because your tongue is cursed?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Why did you make me wait so long?”

“I’m hoping that it made you want it even more. From what I can tell, you’re a girl who’s used to getting exactly what she wants.”

“I wish I was one of those girls,” Annie says with a huff.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her.

“Are you ever afraid to be happy?”

“All the time. Are things okay with you and Ace?”

“Did you hear what Logan did for Maggie?”

Aiden says, “Keatyn helped him plan it.”

“Then help Ace plan something romantic. Seriously, the boy doesn’t understand romance.”

“What do you want to be romantic? He already asked you out.”

“You know what I want to be romantic,” she says to me with her eyes bugged out.

“Oh, I heard a fun line about that today. I say we bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.”

“Where did you hear that?” I say to Aiden.

“Riley told me at lunch.”

“What else did he tell you about that line?”

“He was just joking and saying he wanted to use it on Ariela.”

I squint my eyes at him. “And that’s it?”

Aiden gives me an odd look. “Uh, yeah, that’s it.”

“He didn’t tell you about anyone else that may feel that way?”

“Uh, no.”

“I feel that way,” Annie confesses. “Well, sometimes, but then I want it to be flowers and romance.”

“What was your first time like, Aiden? You’re a fairly romantic guy,” I say.

“I’ve never really been romantic. And my first time was not romantic. At all.”

“What do you think girls want? Romance-wise?”

He gives me a sexy smirk. “They want to be wooed.”

Annie clasps her hands and says dreamily, “They do.”

After class, Annie says, “I forgot to tell you. I heard about this really cool thing online. There’s this guy that’s remaking one of Abby Johnston’s old movies and he’s doing a nationwide search for an actress to play—”

“She’s not interested,” Aiden says firmly to Annie. “Even though we all thought she was amazing, she didn’t enjoy doing the play and won’t be acting again.”

“Really?” Annie gives me a bewildered look.

“Yes, really. I didn’t like it. I want to be a doctor, I think. Although we’re getting back those career surveys next week. Maybe it will tell me what I should do for a job.”

“But, you could make a ton of money. All I’d have to do is nominate you online.”

“Annie, please don’t. I would turn it down. I love Eastbrooke and if I got a movie, I’d have to leave. I’d miss you.”

“I’d miss you too. But what about the money?”

I shrug my shoulder. “I don’t care. If you nominated me, I wouldn’t try out. I wouldn’t even talk to the guy.”

“That’s harsh,” she says, still looking at me funny.

Back in the saddle again.

5:35pm

Dawson texts me while I’m lying on my bed studying.

Dawson:  Nothing is going on tonight. Wanna get some dinner? We haven’t hardly talked since Friday.

Me:  I’d love to. I miss talking to you.

Aiden calls me as I’m throwing on a cute dress.

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

“Um, I can’t. Dawson asked me to have dinner with him. He was out of town and then I was out of town, so we’re going to catch up.”

“Catch up? Great.”

“Aiden, it’s just dinner. I still want to meet you in the library to study later. Say eight?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s not happy about it. But Dawson is my friend and I’m still going to hang out with him.

Dawson takes me to the little Italian restaurant where we went on what was sort of our first date.

“Remember when I first brought you here?”

“Yeah, Dawson. I do.”

“Are we going to have sex again?”

“Not right now. I can’t. It was making me sick.”

“Sex with me was making you sick?”

“Not literally, no. You know I loved it. But kissing Aiden one night and doing that with you the next felt slutty.”

“Slutty would have been having sex with us both.”

“I think it’s easy to say that. To call girls sluts. To make judgments about them. But our sex lives should be personal. It’s no one’s business who or how many people I choose to sleep with. If people worried about their own personal lives and judged themselves rather than others, I think the world would be a better place.”

“Does that mean you won’t judge me when I tell you I hooked up with the pre-med girl?”

His confession takes the breath out of my lungs. I press my fingertips into my eyebrow.

“Keatie . . .”

I close my eyes tightly. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“I needed to see.”

“If it would be good with someone else? Was it?”

“She was drunk and threw up as soon as we were done.”

“What happened to not wanting to do it with drunk girls anymore?”

“Try to find a girl at college on a Saturday night who isn’t drunk.”

I laugh. “I’m sure there are plenty.”

“Not at the party I was at.”

“Did it feel good?”

“I mean, yeah, it felt good, but it didn’t feel the same. You know?”

“No, Dawson. I don’t know. I haven’t done it with anyone else.”

“Great. Make me feel guilty.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I was just stating a fact. Because I don’t know.”

“Cam said I needed to get back in the saddle again.”

“Well, of course. I mean, it’d been a whole week since you were last in the saddle.”

“That was sarcastic.”

“Yes, Dawson, it was. I don’t think you should listen to Camden. I know you are close, but I don’t think he gives very good advice. Honestly, Riley has a way better head on his shoulder.”

“Riley is stranded on third base.”

“Riley is in love.”

“Well, I’m not. So . . .”

“You’re a good guy too, Dawes. Don’t let Cam or college change you. I would never fall for someone like Camden, but I fell for you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“So, aside from that. What else did you do?”

“Nothing. We got high, played video games, ate, slept, drank, partied.”

“Sounds fun.”

“I’m not sure it’s what I want.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure I want to go to college with him.”

“Where are you thinking about going?”

“Maybe NYU with Jake. Did you know he’s thinking about going there? His family is going to have a fit, but he’s excited. We could get a cool apartment. Or a loft.”

“Do you know what you want to do? What you want to major in?”

“Cam says he’s majoring in pussy.”

I laugh out loud at that. “I’m sorry, but that’s really funny.”

Dawson grins. “I love hearing you laugh. I hope we can still have fun together.”

“It will be a little hard at first, but I think we’ll get through it. I want to stay friends.”

“It’s always a little hard at first,” Dawson snickers.

“Your mind is always in the gutter.”

“Just like yours.”

Still my bliss.

7:30pm

I text Aiden.

Me:  I’m back from dinner. Ready to study?

Hottie God:  I studied some before dinner. Do you have much left to do?

Me:  Well, technically, I have two days to turn in my missed assignments :)

Hottie God:  So, technically, you don’t have to study?

Me:  I can think of some things that might be more fun.

Hottie God:  Like what?

Me:  Actually, I do have some homework. It’s research for a very important project. 

Hottie God:  Oh, really? What kind of research?

Me:  I’m doing a clinical study on the effects of French kissing. It’s for French class. Extra credit.

Hottie God:  You should probably conduct that research in my room.

Me:  I agree.

I freshen up my makeup, brush my teeth, and hurry over to Aiden’s room. When I knock on his door, he doesn’t answer. So I peek inside.

“You looking for me?” he says, coming out of Bryce’s room on the other side of the hall.

He looks completely delectable. School jacket slung over his shoulder, tie half undone, top button unbuttoned.

“I am.”

He gives me a blazing grin as I grab his tie and pull him straight to my lips.

This time it’s no sweet, feather-light kiss. No slightly open mouth. His tongue slides right into my mouth and tickles my tongue. It’s playful and fun for a second, but quickly turns more serious.

He walks me backward into his room, shuts his door, and pulls me onto his futon without his lips leaving mine.

His tongue is like a drug.

And I’m completely addicted.

He gently grabs my bottom lip with his teeth, pulling at it slightly.

“Observation number one,” I say. “Kissee thinks it’s hot when kisser bites her lip.”

He runs his tongue across my lower lip.

“Observation number two: Kissee likes to be greeted like that.”

I put both my hands on his cheeks and kiss him slowly.

“Observation number three: Kissee believes kisser’s tongue contains some type of addictive, and possibly illegal, drug. Either a love potion or crack.

This causes Aiden to chuckle.

“Addictive, huh?”

He runs the back of his hand down the side of my face, then under my jaw.

I close my eyes and feel. Let myself feel all the emotions for Aiden that I’ve been trying not to feel. Trying to talk myself out of.

“Very.”

He sits up on the futon and pulls me sideways onto his lap. I rake my fingers through his hair and kiss him like a girl who’s desperate for a fix.

Two and a half hours of making out and it’s still not enough.

I stand on the first step outside my dorm, making me almost as tall as him, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him again and again.

Then I wander to my room in a daze.

Maggie and Katie are in my room still studying for whatever test has been completely wiped from my mind.

“You look like Maggie did when she walked in. Dreamy. Dazed. Red lips. You been kissing Aiden?”

“I heard you went to dinner with Dawson,” Maggie says. “Who were you kissing?”

“Aiden,” I say with a dreamy sigh. “Dawson and I just had dinner. He hooked up with a girl this weekend.”

“Really?” Maggie says. “That was fast.”

“I know. Makes me feel like I made the right choice, though.”

“You went against fate.”

“No, I went against chance.”

“Whatever. I’m glad you two are happy,” Katie says.

“You’re one to talk. You and Bryce have been awfully cozy.”

She smiles and bounces a little. “Yeah, we have, but I’m trying to be smart about it.”

“I’m gonna go shower before bed,” I tell them. I give Maggie a quick hug. “See you tomorrow.”

I take a shower and expect Katie to be asleep by the time I finish, but she’s still awake, texting Bryce.

“Wow. You must like him. You’re still awake.”

“He’s fun to talk to,” she says, going back to her text.

I look at my phone.

There’s a text from Brooklyn.

B:  Call me if you have a chance. I want to talk to you about some stuff. 

I tell Katie that I’m going to the kitchen to scrounge for a snack, but go in the stairwell and call him.

“Hey.”

“So I’ve been researching stalking cases. Want to hear some statistics?”

“Sure.”

“I found out that half of all stalkers threaten violence but that only two percent actually kill.”

“So I have a 98% chance of surviving this. I like those odds.”

“Stalking is a felony but often dismissed due to lack of evidence. Do you remember that pop singer that was stalked? The guy told everyone they were secretly engaged. Sort of reminds me of Vincent saying that he’s going to make a movie with Abby, you know?”

“Uh, huh.”

“Stalkers also tend to have inflated egos, impersonal sex, no remorse, and superficial charm. But it all comes down to one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Control and domination.”

“Garrett already told me all that stuff.”

“Well, I was thinking of something. Possibly a different approach to fighting him.”

“What’s that?”

“What if we made him feel out of control?”

“I suggested that I do a slutty video or something like Mom’s new movie. I wonder what will happen when it releases. Hopefully it won’t send him over the edge.”

“What if the control had nothing to do with you?”

“How would we do that?”

“My dad’s company is fighting off a hostile takeover.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s what I think we should do to Vincent. We do a hostile takeover of his production company. Giving us the rights to the film. If that film is as important to him as I think it is, he would fight the takeover like crazy. It might not make him forget you, but it might give him something else to do besides a nationwide search for you. It would keep you safer, longer. Then if we get the rights . . .”

“We could make the film ourselves.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you know how much his film company is worth?”

“No, but I know someone who can find out for us.”

“He inherited a lot of money when his grandmother died.”

“You inherited a lot of money from your dad, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“And I have a big trust fund too. And if we didn’t have enough, we’d raise the capital somehow.”

I start to get tears in my eyes, then accidentally let out a little sob.

“Keats, don’t cry.”

“Thanks, B. Everyone has been great in trying to protect me. But I feel like I have no control. I want to fight back.”

“We’ll fight together. I want you back on the beach with me.”

“It’s late here. I need to get some sleep. Let me know what you find out.”

“It will probably be a few weeks. They have to get through their deal first. Night, Keats.”

I go back in my room, loosely braid my still damp hair, and lie down.

My phone buzzes.

Hottie God:  Observation number four:  You lips are still my bliss.  Speaking of that . . . You still owe me $40 for getting our phones out of jail.

Me:  I might owe you $20 for my phone, but you have to learn to be more responsible with your belongings. 

Hottie God:  I am willing to negotiate a trade. 

Me:  Does the trade involve kissing?

Hottie God:  Yes.

Me:  Then I totally owe you $40.

Hottie God:  Night, Boots. 

I’m almost asleep when my phone buzzes again.

B:  Remember when I told you that Keats quote in the hot tub before we first kissed? I just found out there’s more to it. And it gives me hope.  “A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness.”