Текст книги "Love Me"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

Tuesday, November 1st

Just jack off.

7:40am

I wake up starving and scarf down the first thing I see.

After I eat half, it dawns on me that I’m eating a brownie.

Oh, shit.

Please don’t let this be a special brownie.

I wake Katie up. “Tell me you ate Jake’s brownie last night.”

“No, Bryce and I decided to save it and share it tonight.”

I close my eyes tightly. “Shit. I just ate half of it.”

“I heard you can kill a high by doing some shots.”

“You want me to get drunk too?”

“What if I try to scare you?”

“I don’t think you can scare me if I know you’re going to try to scare me because then I probably wouldn’t be scare-able.”

“You’re already high.”

“Wait. I know what to do.”

I call Dallas. “Dallas, dude. I totally, like, need some assistance.”

“Uh, okay?”

“Have you ever, like, gotten high but then felt like maybe you shouldn’t be high?”

“Is that a trick question?”

“No. Like, have you ever needed to get un-high quickly? How do you do it?”

“Oh. Just jack off.”

“I don’t think I have the right parts for that.”

“Are you high? Now?”

“Slightly.”

“I’ll be right over.”

Katie leaves while I wait for Dallas. While I wait, I start to think about how my brain has totally been on my case lately.

I mean what is with all this nagging?

All this Choose. Choose. You need to choose.

I decide to text Grandpa. He’s a smart man.

Me:  Grandpa, how do you like make an important decision? Do you like write out pros and cons, like how do you decide?

Grandpa:  I like totally like flip a coin, dude.

Me:  Very funny, ha ha. I guess I did say like a couple times. But here’s the deal. This decision is too important to flip a coin over. I mean, what if I don’t get what I want?

Grandpa:  Exactly.

Me:  What? I don’t get it. What do you mean? Exactly?

Grandpa:  Hotshot, when you need to make an important decision and you are trying to decide between two things, flip a coin. You just said, what if I don’t get what I want. That tells me you already know what you want. Most people do. They just need validation. Like fate played a hand in it. If you flip a coin and get what you want, you feel like you made the right decision, but it sounds like you already know the right decision. You’re just scared to make it.

Me:  That’s really deep, dude.

Grandpa: Thanks, dude.

I think about what Grandpa said. I have a hot pink Magic Eight Ball at home. I used it a lot when I was younger, and if I didn’t get the answer I wanted, I would shake it until the eight ball got it right.

Yes. Brooklyn is in love with you. 

Most of my questions back then revolved around Brooklyn. Will Brooklyn ever ask me out? Does Brooklyn think of me as more than a friend? Will Brooklyn kiss me tonight? Will we get married someday?

Okay, so I may have used it recently.

Dallas barges in my door and looks at me. “Did you eat one of Jake’s brownies for breakfast?”

“Yes. Accidentally.”

“Do you have any left?”

“Half.”

“Sweet. If we’re gonna skip school and hang out, we should both be high.”

I watch as he chows down the other half of the brownie.

Now we’re lying on my bed trying to count the stars on my ceiling. There are either 22 or 137, we’re not exactly sure.

“You know, I’ve been a mostly good boy all year long. Was it too much to ask for a girl to come up to me on Halloween, laugh like a vampire, and say, I vant to suck your dick?”

I laugh out loud. “Ohmigawd. I want to be a vampire next year. I’m totally going to say that to everyone.”

“You gonna follow through?”

“If they got me some food, I might. I’m starving. Are you starving?”

“That’s what we need. Food and a nap.”

“Oh, a nap sounds good. I’ll go raid the kitchen. You stay here.”

I scrounge through the dorm’s kitchen and take back an amazing feast.

“I found cinnamon rolls, skittles, Cool Ranch Doritos, and two avocados. But don’t eat the avocados. I want to make a face mask.”

Dallas and I chow, then I smash up the avocados, and rub them on our faces.

We lie down to rest.

“What the hell is on your face?” Dallas says to me.

“Why are you in my bed?”

“Brownies,” Dallas says with a smile, as he runs his finger through the avocado on my face then licks it off his finger. “I just need salsa and some chips.”

“We need to get to class. What time is it?”

He pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Shit. It’s one.”

“We slept half the day!”

“Best. Day. Ever.”

I giggle. “You’re right. It has been fun. And I’m relaxed. Did I tell you that Cosmo said that I don’t have to choose?”

“Choose what? New shoes?”

“No, between boys. It said if I can’t choose, it’s because I’m not ready to.”

“Yes, you told me on the train. I say we choose not to go to our classes today. ”

“I have to go to soccer or I’ll get in trouble. Coach Steele is trying to kill us.”

“He’s a beast. Have you seen him lifting weights?”

“Uh, no, have you? And why didn’t you call me?”

“I somehow doubt he wants all you girls drooling over him when he’s trying to get in a workout.”

“Still, you should’ve called me. I’m gonna go shower. Get this stuff off my face.”

“I’m gonna take another nap.”

I’ll let fate decide.

3:40pm

I’m the last one in the dance locker room. As I pull my bag out of my crammed locker, a quarter rolls out and falls onto the floor.

I pick it up off the floor and study it.

I’m pretty sure the universe is trying to speak to me.

Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll let fate decide. I will flip this coin, and whatever it tells me, I will do.

Heads, I choose Dawson and do not look back. I’ll enjoy our easy, lusty-love relationship and won’t worry about the future.

Tails, because they sorta look like a clover, is Aiden. If fate lets it land on tails, I will give up hot sex and tongue kisses and take another chance on love.

I toss the coin high into the air.

All of a sudden, all I can see is Aiden’s face. I pray to the love and hottie gods that it lands tails up.

I want Aiden.

I really do.

It drops on the ground and rolls across the floor.

Maggie walks in, sees the coin rolling, and says, “Oh, I’ll get that.”

“Don’t touch it!” I scream at her.

“Okay,” she says, backing away.

The coin rolls in front of her feet and then under the bench. I plop down on my hands and knees, chasing it as it rolls.

“What the hell are you doing?” She looks at me like I’m a maniac.

“I tossed a coin, so I could decide between Dawson and Aiden.”

“Why would you leave a decision like that to chance?”

“It’s not chance. It’s fate.”

The quarter stops rolling, stands on its side, spins, and then falls to the ground.

I pick it up. Look at it.

Maggie asks impatiently. “Well, what is it?”

“It’s heads.”

“Who’s heads?”

“Dawson. Shit.”

“Why shit? Dawson is H, O, double T, hot.”

I pace back and forth in front of her. “Because my grandpa told me when the coin is up in the air, I’d know who I want. I want Aiden. What the hell just happened? What happened to fate? I thought it was fate that I met Aiden here. That I kicked a soccer ball at his face. He tells me it’s fate that we’re going to be together. How am I supposed to align my life with fate, when I can’t even trust it to get a stupid coin toss right?” I grab Maggie’s shoulders, my eyes full of panic. “Is fate trying to tell me Aiden is wrong for me?”

Maggie grabs my shoulders. “You need to get ahold of yourself. My dad says coin tosses are a game of chance. I don’t think they’re a test of fate. Besides, everyone knows you always do two out of three.”

“They don’t do that when they start the football games.”

“Boys are dumb. Just do it. Hold the quarter in your hand, think Who should I be with, and then toss it in the air.

“Who should I be with?” I say and flip the quarter into the air. Once again, I see Aiden’s face, so I will the coin to land on tails.

It rolls directly in front of Maggie’s feet.

“I can’t look at it. What is it?”

“It’s tails! Aiden! You did good, Keatyn. Okay, one more time.”

She tosses me the coin. I flip it again, think the same things, but then Dawson’s adorable face bursts into my thoughts. I see him sitting on the brick wall waiting for me, that first day back at school after the Hamptons.

The coin lands.

“Heads,” she says.

Dawson.

“Wait! This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be throwing it. I’m too confused. Who do you think I should be with?”

“I don’t know. I used to think Dawson, but now I think Aiden. Mostly, I just want you to be happy.”

I give her a hug. “That’s exactly what I need! You need to toss the coin and think, I want Keatyn to be happy.”

“I can do that,” she says excitedly.

“No two out of three. Just one toss, okay?”

“Okay, let me think . . . here goes.”

She tosses the coin up into the air. It hits the ceiling, bounces down on the bench, and then rolls off it.

“Heads,” Maggie says. “It’s Dawson.”

So easily destroyed.

6:50pm

Before rehearsal starts, one of the actors is on stage messing around. He stands up straight and tall, holds his fist against his chest, and quotes from Hamlet: “To be, or not to be, that is the question.”

But I hear something else. To choose, or not to choose, that is the question.

I’m pretty sure in Hamlet, he was trying to decide if he should kill himself. While I’m trying to figure out if I should kill a relationship.

Aiden sits down next to me, the feather still hanging from his backpack.

Should I listen to the coin-toss fate and choose Dawson?

“You know, we never did talk about your ceramics project.”

“That’s because you were mad at me.”

“Boots, I want to build a framework with you. Do you still want that?”

I nod.

“Good. But here’s the deal. I want the framework—the foundation—built on love, not sex.” He takes both my hands in his. “Build a foundation with me. A nice strong foundation. Then we’ll build a huge sprawling mansion of love on it. The kind no one could ever knock down. Remember the story of the three little pigs?”

“Yeah. The wolf ate them.”

“No, he didn’t. He ate two of them. You and Dawson were a straw house. It only took a puff—a text—to blow it down. Don’t you want a relationship that’s not so easily destroyed?”

I want to say I don’t care, but I do. I do want a relationship like that. One like Mom and Tommy’s. Tommy would move a mountain for my mom and us girls. I start to get tears in my eyes.

He puts his hand under my chin. “Does that make you sad?”

“No, it’s what I want. I’m just tired of investing my time and my heart in things that fall apart. And I don’t want to be a pig.”

Aiden laughs and kisses my nose. “You’d be a cute piggy.”

I look at the stage and realize that I’m supposed to be up there. “Shit. I gotta go.”

When I sit back down after my scene, Aiden says, “I bought tickets to every showing.”

“Every showing of the play? All three? Haven’t you seen it enough?”

“Not really. I love this play.”

“Why’s that?”

“The good guy wins.”

Wednesday, November 2nd

It was awful.

English

In English, Katie sits next to Dallas and me. It’s the first time she’s ventured over here since the Tyrese incident.

“I have some exciting news.”

“What’s that?”

“Bryce asked me to be his escort last night!”

“That’s awesome.”

“I’m going to be Chelsea’s escort,” Dallas says, getting in a little jab.

“She a varsity starter?” Katie asks, although she doesn’t let him reply. “Makes sense, I guess. She’s been with everyone on the team.”

My eyes get big with shock. Katie’s usually not this catty.

Dallas doesn’t get mad, though, he grins at her and then swats her shoulder. “Well, since you popped my cherry, I’ve been trying to find someone better than you.”

Katie starts giggling. “Ohmigawd, that would be anyone. It was awful.”

Dallas laughs too. “Well, the first time, anyway. But that was your fault and you know it.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t know you were a virgin.”

“I’m glad you’re seeing Bryce,” Dallas says. “He’s a good guy.”

She smiles at him. Beams, really. “Thanks. And I didn’t really mean that about Chelsea.”

“Yeah, you did.” He chuckles.

She chuckles too. “Yeah, I did.”

I can’t hold it in any longer. “I’m so glad you two made up!”

As I’m walking to my next class, Shark walks up next to me.

“I heard you’re escorting Dawson onto the field but going to the banquet with Aiden. You know that’s never gonna fly.”

“It’s flying just fine.”

“I need some inside information. So, who ya gonna choose, girlie?”

“I don’t know, Shark. You’re the oddsmaker. You tell me.”

“Let’s flip a coin.”

I laugh. “Already did that.”

“Who won?”

“Dawson.”

“Did you just flip once?”

“No. First flip, he won. Then he won two out of three. Then he won another single coin toss.”

“So you flipped four times, and Aiden came up how many times?”

“Only once,” I say sadly.

“Guess I’m gonna have to rethink this.”

“Do people really bet on this stuff?”

“Hell, yeah.”

My caveman fantasy.

7:25pm

“I’m going to Columbia this weekend to hang out with Cam, since you’ll be busy with your play stuff.”

“My play stuff? Dawson, it’s the play. Are you not coming to watch it?”

“I figured I’d sit in on dress rehearsal. That’s the same thing, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess. Are you going to hook up with other girls?”

“I don’t know,” he says, looking guilty.

“You already have a date, don’t you?”

“It’s not a date. It’s more of an implied hookup. Some girl saw my picture and told Cam she’d hook up with me.”

This upsets me more than I thought it would. I try to not look at him. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll cry.

“Keatie, look at me. Say something.”

But I can’t. I’m thinking of that sweet, sexy face kissing another girl. I bite my lip and fight back tears.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. This isn’t an easy situation.” I quickly wipe the tears off my face.

He pulls me into a hug. “I don’t want to make you cry.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that after this weekend, I thought I was going to choose just you. But then Aiden told me he wants to build a brick house together. He says you and I have a straw house.”

“Are you talking about the three little pigs?”

“Yeah, I guess. Are we all about sex, really?”

“That really pisses me off,” he says, his anger flaring. “Stop letting him say shit like that to you. It’s like he’s trying to freaking brainwash you. I love you. I love sex with you. Sex is a part of showing love. I’m also trying to show you I love you in other ways too.”

“Like by not coming to my play to go hook up at Columbia?”

“That’s not fair. Maybe I’m trying to make you jealous? Ever think of that?”

“No.”

“Okay, fine. No sex.”

“What?”

“You heard me. No sex. I won’t have sex with you until you choose me.”

Um, this is a twist in the plot I didn’t imagine. Why can’t I get a freaking script of my own life?

But no, that’s bullshit. No way he’s going to say no. I run my hands up his shirt and kiss his neck. “But, Dawes . . .”

“That’s not gonna work, Keatie. Trust me, I know all your little tricks.”

I lie on his bed and cover my face. He lifts my hand and peeks at me.

“Your pouting isn’t going to work either.”

“I’m not pouting. I’m very close to a major meltdown here, Dawson. Don’t mess with me.”

“Talk to me. I’ve always been your friend.”

“I feel like if I choose Aiden, I have to make this lifelong commitment. But then . . .” I look away from Dawson. I’m embarrassed by this part. “Never mind.”

“Keatie, baby, tell me.”

“It’s too embarrassing.”

“Did you fart or something?”

“No. He . . . He . . . He’s never kissed me with his tongue!”

Dawson’s eyes get wide, and he shakes his head sideways. “Are you serious?”

“So mortifyingly serious.”

He wraps his strong arms around me. “Come here, Keatie. Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” I say, pushing back the tears. “I gotta go. Do you wanna walk me to the library?”

“The library?” he asks as we walk toward it. “Don’t you have rehearsal?”

“No, tomorrow night is our full dress rehearsal, so tonight they’re working through all the set changes. I’m going to tutor Aiden and finish my homework.”

“Are you doing better? You seem a little better.”

“I am. Dawson, if you want to go hook up with a girl at Columbia this weekend, you can. You’re single.”

He pushes me against the outside of the library and gives me a smoldering kiss. “I lied. I still want to have sex with you. So get your homework done fast and then get your ass to my room. I’m going to do things to you that will make you scream.”

I hear someone clear their throat. I peek around Dawson and see Aiden standing there.

“Uh, Dawson. Aiden’s here. I’ll, um, see you later.”

Dawson smacks my butt and says, “I’ll be waiting.”

He gives Aiden a smirk and a “S’up, Aiden,” as he leaves.

I can’t even describe the look on Aiden’s face.

He. Is. Livid.

I don’t know what to say, so I open the door to the library.

Just as I pass through the first set of doors, Aiden grabs my elbow and herds me back outside.

“We. Need. To. Talk.”

He’s doing something similar to my angry march, which instantly spawns my caveman fantasy. Maybe he’s going to drag me back to his cave and make me his.

I want to say something. Lighten the mood. But I don’t know what to say.

I’ve never seen Aiden quite like this.

He doesn’t even seem to notice that it’s raining again when he drags me down the hill.

He places me in front of the soccer goal and starts to pace in front of it, his gorgeous Italian loafers getting caked with mud.

I’m so glad I left my rain boots on.

He stops pacing and glares at me. “This is where we first met.”

He shoves his hand through his hair like he’s pissed at it too. “I can’t take this anymore. I want you to be my date for the banquet, but that means you have to wear my jersey and escort me onto the field. Period. No negotiation. Otherwise, you can go with Dawson. And if you do, I’ll give up. I’m trying here. I’m trying to give you time. I know you need it.”

“You think I need time? No. You need time. You always get mad at me and walk away, and I know you’re still pretend punching my head.”

He shakes his head at me and raises his voice. “Of course, I have been! You infuriate me! I want to drag you away from Dawson any time I see you talking to him!”

“You get jealous? That’s why you’re always mad at me?”

OMG!! YAY!!! I literally want to do cartwheels in the mud.

He shakes his head at me and sighs. “Well, that and sometimes you’re so dumb.”

And this pisses me off a bit. Okay, more than a bit. I’m like the porcupine that just flung out its spikes, ready to fire them.

I’m dumb?! No, he said I’m so dumb.

Just when I thought maybe fate was finally intervening.

I breathe in through my nose, and then snort the breath out, like a bull getting ready to charge.  I lower my voice and speak with a flat unemotional tone. “I’m wearing Dawson’s jersey. He asked me first. If you can’t handle that then I’ll be his banquet date too. Up to you.”

I turn around and stomp away, purposely splashing mud all over him. When I’m halfway up the hill, I turn around and yell, “And I am not dumb! ”

Oh, I hate him!

And then I realize that the universe just spoke. The coin toss was right.

Hot sex it is.

As I’m marching toward Hawthorne House to give Dawson the good news, I get a text from Dallas.

Dallas:  When you’re done with tutoring, will you come help me and Riley study for the English quiz? We’re confused. Could be because we didn’t actually read Pride and Prejudice, but that’s just details.

Me:  You in your room?

Dallas:  Yes. And we have snacks. Riley thought we’d have to bribe you.

Me:  I’ll be right there.

I give them a rundown of the story, help them memorize the study-guide answers, and then tell them about fate. About how I’m going to choose Dawson.

“So why did you come here and not go tell him right away?” Riley asks.

“Because you needed my help.”

“Or maybe it’s because you know he’s the wrong choice,” Dallas says.

I sigh, knowing they’re right. I was glad for the distraction. Even though the universe keeps telling me to choose Dawson, even though this weekend was the best sex of my life, something keeps stopping me from doing it.

And I’m pretty sure it’s my heart.

Dawson:  You almost done?

Me:  Yeah. I’m working on English now with Dallas and your brother, but we’re just finishing up. Are you in your room? I’ll come down.

Dawson:  Come down, or go down? 

Me:  Hmmm. Idk.

Dawson:  I’ll be waiting.

And then a few minutes later.

Dawson:  Naked.

Oh, lord.

We’ll have some fun and then I’ll tell him that we can get back together. Change that stupid It’s complicated status.

I snatch the review sheet out of Dallas’ hand. “Okay, so, I gotta go.”

I run down the hall and take the stairs. I’m halfway down when Aiden comes marching up.

I freeze.

I can’t go anywhere. There’s nowhere to hide.

So I think, Be confident. I’m cool, confident, and sophisticated. I’m on my way down these stairs to meet a gorgeous boy who is probably—well, definitely—waiting for me naked. He wants me. He doesn’t tell me I’m dumb. He thinks I’m awesome. I straighten up my spine, stand tall, and wait for him to notice me.

He’s marching with his head down, like he’s still pissed. He sees my feet in front of him, specifically my bright yellow boots, stops, and glares at me.

Told ya. Still mad.

I give him my best fake smile and say coolly, “Hey, Aiden, s’up?”

Ohmigawd, that sounded so lame. Who says that to someone walking up the stairs? What’s up? He is heading up the stairs, obviously. I’m a lunatic. Seriously, lock me up now. He’s right. I am dumb.

“Where are you going?”

“I was just helping Dallas and Riley with English and now I’m headed to Dawson’s room.” Then I can’t help myself. I snicker. “Apparently, he’s naked.”

Aiden grabs my arm and drags me again—this time up the stairs and to his room. “This is why you’re dumb!”

“I am not dumb!”

He opens his door, grips my hand tightly, pulls me through it, and slams it shut hard.

I watch as his eyes quickly scan the room. He picks me up and sets me down hard on his desk, sending his perfectly stacked books onto the floor in the process.

Then his lips land hard on mine, kissing me.

It’s a full hot-tongue-straight-into-my-mouth kiss.

He grabs my tongue and sucks on it.

His hands are firmly behind my neck, like I’m not allowed to pull away from this kiss.

Not that I want to.

It's hot.

No.

It's not hot.

It's incendiary. Like the white-hot blazes of the underworld.

Or the electrical charge of a lightning bolt.

A god’s full power has been unleashed on me.

His tongue is destroying my mouth. Devastating it.

He’s owning it like no boy ever has.

He untangles his tongue from mine and says, “You’re dumb because you can’t see that I’m so fucking jealous, I can barely function. So I’m gonna ask you one last time. Will. You. Wear. My. Jersey?”

I want to cry.

“Ye—” I don’t even get the word out before his mouth is back on mine.

I want to go on record and thank Zeus and Aphrodite and whoever else had a hand in making this boy’s skillful tongue.

I run my hands roughly down his chiseled back and grab his equally amazing ass, pulling it toward me.

He leans his chest tightly into mine and I wrap my legs around his waist.

In this position, I can feel that powerful godly tool straining for freedom under his pants.

Oh, that sounds like a romance novel. I like romance novels, but his godly tool should not be how I describe his boyhood.

No. Manhood. That thing throbbing against me is all man.

No, it’s all freaking god.

His tongue goes so deeply in my mouth that I’m pushed roughly down across his desk, causing me to almost scream, Unleash the Titan!

Oh. My. God.

This is it!

He’s going to rip my panties off and we’ll do it right here.

Hell, I don't think my panties are even an issue.

I’m pretty sure they melted clean off my body and are nothing but a little pile of ashes smoldering on the floor.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he stops kissing me.

I open my eyes. His face is just inches from mine. His eyes are closed and he seems to be trying to slow his breathing. Calming himself down.

But no!

I want him wild and out of control. I want this crazy god’s tongue. The tongue I just barely got a taste of. The tongue that I’m already famished for.

He slowly backs further away and opens his eyes.

“God, you make me crazy.”

“At least now I know that you like me as more than a friend.”

“When have I ever given you a friend vibe?”

“Um, when you said you wanted to be my friend after the stars.”

“I do want to be your friend, Boots. I want to be your everything.”

“Everything? Then why did you just stop?”

“Because we have to stop.”

I let my hands dance across the edge of his shorts. “What if I don’t want to?”

He takes my hands off his shorts and places them in my lap.

“The last thing you need is to rush into sex with another guy.”

The way he says it makes me scowl at him.

He doesn’t have a clue what I need because if he did I’d be naked on this desk. No, not even naked. Pants half down. Skirt pushed up. Hammering, nailing, and screwing.

He kisses my forehead and says, “Stop with the face.”

“You kissed me with your tongue.”

I get the god-like smile. “Was it worth the wait? “

“I’m not sure. Can I check again?”

He picks me up off his desk, lays me across his bed, and kisses me some more.

With his tongue.

Always goes back to sex.

10:30pm

I squeak into the dorm just at curfew, plop onto my bed, and look at my phone.

Dawson:  Are you coming?

Me:  No, sorry. I ran into Aiden on the stairs. It’s a long story, shit. Look, I’m gonna wear his jersey for the game. I’m his date for the banquet, so I think it’s the right thing to do. Don’t be mad at me.

Dawson:  Naw, it’s cool. Brooke asked me today if she could wear mine. She has a college boyfriend, so I’ll just tell her yes.

Me:  Oh, that works out good then.

I lie in bed, thinking about coin flipping and evil, while creeping around on Facebook. I pray that Aiden never does one of those things where it tells him who his top followers are. I’ve totally been stalking his profile since school started.

My phone buzzes.

I drop it, feeling like I’ve been caught, when Aiden’s name pops up on the screen.

“Hey,” I say, my voice lowered, so I don’t wake up Katie.

“Hey, Boots,” he says dreamily.

I swear I want to wake up to that every morning of my life. To the sound of, “Hey, Boots.”

“I figured you’d be asleep by now,” I say.

“I should be. I was lying here thinking about tonight.”

“Really? What about?”

“Just trying to figure out what to do with you.”

“What do you want to do with me?” I ask coyly, thinking he will tell me something sexual. Especially after the hotness on his desk earlier.

“Tell me more about the framework.”

 I think about his framework. His tall, lean body. His perfect muscles. His beautiful skin.

“You still there?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I just think it would help if you tell me how you’re feeling about stuff.”

“I’ve been trying not pressure you. You once told me something about the Keats guy. That you didn’t know if he loved you so much he let you go, or he let you go because he didn’t care enough. I want you to know with me. I want you to know exactly where we stand.

“Tonight, when you were mad, I felt like I finally knew.”

“All the wooing I’ve done, and you didn’t already know?”

“No. You’re hot and cold with me. That’s confusing.”

“And you’re like an unsolvable puzzle. A conundrum.”

“I confuse you? Do you wanna know what I was sitting in my bed doing when you called me?”

“Is it bad?”

“A little.”

“Tell me.”

“I was looking at all your Facebook pictures. I look at them almost every night. I hide under my covers, so Katie doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

“I look at your pictures all the time too. You aren’t big on posting stuff, though. I thought I could find out what you were doing, what you are thinking, but you don’t give away much.”

“I’m kind of a private person.”

“I like that.” He yawns.

“You sound tired.”

“I am. I’m looking forward to this weekend.”

“Do you wanna know what I’m looking forward to?”

“Yes.”

“Your tongue.”

He laughs. It’s a sexy, deep laugh. The kind of laugh I want to hear every day.

“It was a good kiss.”

“Yeah, it was.”

 “Night, Boots.”

Getting head.

1am

I call Dallas. “I can’t sleep. You and Riley wanna go to the Cave?”

“Riley snuck out to meet Ariela. Lucky for you, I’m free tonight.”

As we’re walking to the Cave, I ask, “I haven’t heard much about the psychic panty hotline lately. You still stalking girls’ panties?”

“More like taking them off. No, melting them off.”

“I’m pretty sure that my panties melted off me tonight. Aiden got pissed off, pushed me onto his desk, and kissed me. Tongue and everything.”

“It’s about time.”

He folds a towel into a long strip and puts it down on the damp log, lights up a joint, takes a hit, and hands it to me.

“So, does that mean you’re choosing him?”

I take a hit. Let myself mellow. “Wanna hear something really lame?”

“Of course.”

“Yesterday, I was so desperate that I flipped a coin to decide.”

“Oh, I know a good pickup line about that.”

“Really, what?”

He giggles at himself then says, “If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?”

“That’s really funny.” I start giggling and can’t stop.

“So, back to choosing.”

“Buzzkill.”

“So why was he pissed?”

“He told me I couldn’t wear Dawson’s jersey if I was gonna be his date.”

“Good for him. It’s about time he put an end to this nonsense.”

“And then he kissed me with his tongue,” I say dreamily.

“So Aiden’s tongue kiss beat what Dawson did to you this weekend?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I’m still hung over.”

“Dawson told me that when I feel like stopping, that’s how I’ll know I should.”

“And what do you feel like?”

“I feel like stopping.”