Текст книги "Hate Me"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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“Oh, wow,” he says slowly. “I didn’t even put that together. Do you really think it was him?”

I tell him about the picture.

“Wow,” he says again.

“So, I need to know. Did he get one of the bouncers to bring him back there? Give her a card? Anything?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Let me check and I’ll call you right back.”

Ten minutes later, he calls me back.

“Yes. He asked one of the bouncers to give her his business card. Said he was a producer and would be interested in doing a screen test with her. From what I understand, this isn’t unusual for him. A lot of the girls admitted to doing screen tests and many have hooked up with him. They say he’s charming and a perfect gentleman.”

“Is the bouncer willing to tell all this to the police?”

“He will. He feels responsible because he helped her get the job.”

“Troy, if he isn’t arrested this week, I’m coming back Thursday to dance again. I want to honor her in a big way. Do you think the club and the girls would be willing to help?”

“Absolutely. We’re all still reeling. And we’ve been trying to figure out something to do for Leighton.”

“Leighton was her name?”

“Yeah, Leighton Wall.”

I close my eyes. Somehow knowing her name makes it even worse.

“I’m going to have a bunch of packages delivered to the club with your name on them. What time does the club open?”

“Ten.”

“Can you have all the employees there at nine?”

“Will do.”

“And Troy?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell Damian. I want to keep him as far away from this mess as possible.”

I know Cooper will probably have a fit about this, but I don’t care.

I toss and turn in bed, trying to sleep, but visions of Vincent, cages, and scissors haunt me every time I close my eyes.

I know there’s a very good chance that I might not come back from this trip.

That my fate might be the same as Leighton’s.

Aiden sneaks in my window sometime after curfew and pulls me into his arms.

I still don’t sleep, but I do realize there’s something important I need to do before I go back to face Vincent.

Just in case I don’t come back.

I slip out of bed, grab my phone, sneak into the bathroom, and send Sam an email with a very specific set of instructions to be carried out in a very short amount of time.

I end the email with a directive to meet me on Thursday afternoon.

Then I use the notes function on my phone and start writing.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13TH

Kiss me here.

7:40am

Aiden meets me in my dorm room with coffee and donuts.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better. Thanks for always being there for me, Aiden. I really appreciate it.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he says, setting down the food and taking me into his arms. “What’s that?”

I turn around and see a wrapped tube with another pink bow. “It must be from my naughty Santa. Katie must’ve put it there when she left for her Spanish Club meeting.”

“Do you want to open it?”

“Yeah,” I say, eager to stop talking about yesterday. I rip the paper off the container to find a game called Sexy Truth or Dare. I take off the lid and Aiden pulls out one of the long sticks out and reads it.

“How fun,” he says. “You have the option of answering a truth about sex or you have to do the dare on the back.”

“That would be fun to play with our friends!”

Aiden shakes his head and holds out a stick with one of the dares, which is definitely something you wouldn’t want your friends to watch you do.

“Maybe it’s more of a couple’s game,” I say. “Did you get another gift this morning?”

“Yeah, I think Maggie might be my Santa. She was in our dorm, supposedly picking up Logan, but he always meets her.”

“I don’t know who anyone has except for Katie. She’s bad at keeping secrets.”

“Who does she have?”

“Dallas. Yesterday she gave him a six-pack that she decorated so that each beer bottle looked like a reindeer. Today it was a t-shirt with a porcupine that says Do I make you thorny?”

“That’s funny,” Aiden says. “Wanna see what I got?”

“Sure.”

He untucks his shirt and pulls it up.

“Ohmigawd.” I laugh at the downward pointing, pink arrow-shaped sticky note he has stuck to his stomach. “Kiss me here, huh?” I ask, reading it.

He gives me an adorable grin. “I wanted to give you first dibs.”

I pull the sticky note off and put it on my notebook. “I better be the only one you’re offering dibs on the Titan.”

“The what?”

My eyes get big, realizing what I just said.

Shit.

“The, uh . . .”

Aiden gives me a panty-melting smirk. “You named it?”

“I didn’t mean to tell you. Now you’re going to get a big head.”

He chuckles, playfully pulls me into his body, and puts his mouth near my ear. “If it’s called the Titan, it must already have a big head.”

“I got my Greek mythology screwed up when I named it.”

He glances at his watch, noting that we need to get to class. “We’re going to finish this conversation tonight.”

Hawthorne’s Sweetheart.

Ceramics

Jake leans over when our ceramics teacher goes into the kiln room and says, “You’re going to be Hawthorne’s Sweetheart, Monroe.”

I squint my eyes at him. “What’s that?”

He shakes his head. “I always forget you’re new. You know how for Homecoming and Prom we choose royalty?”

“Yeah.”

“We don’t for Winter Formal. Instead, each dorm chooses a girl to represent their house for the upcoming year. To be their Sweetheart. It’s a big honor.”

“Who’s the Sweetheart now?”

“Peyton. Why do you think she won Homecoming Queen? Our whole house voted for her.”

“I didn’t know that. What does she have to do?”

“Be friends with the guys.”

“Ohmigawd, Jake. Tell me it’s not because I’ve kissed a lot of the boys in your dorm!”

Bryce laughs at me but Jake says, “That’s not at all what it’s about. It’s an honor. We choose a girl we think is cool. Someone the younger guys can look up to. A hot big sister. Someone they can come to if they’re having girl troubles. Stuff like that. It was between you, Maggie, and Ariela. Ariela is super pretty, but she’s a little too reserved. Maggie is awesome, but she slept with her ex’s best friend. As the prefect who makes the final decision, I just have a problem with that.”

“I almost slept with you to get back at Dawson.”

“But you didn’t. Even drunk, you didn’t. We all know that.”

I have a flash of Aiden and me being crowned Homecoming King and Queen.

But it’s a fairy tale that will never happen. I won’t be here next year. I won’t even be here for Prom.

And that makes me sad.

I wish we could have the Prom of our dreams after the kind of Proms we both had last year.

I close my eyes for a minute and breathe.

We’ll just have to make sure Winter Formal is special.

And I need to talk Jake into choosing someone else.

“I’m not sure if I’d give good advice.”

“You will. I’m sure of it,” Jake tells me. “And when you win, act surprised.”

So damn stubborn.

Soccer

Before soccer practice starts, Cooper inquires about my hamstring.

“I think maybe I should sit out today. Could I go in your office and make some phone calls?” I ask.

“What for?” he whispers.

“Can we talk about it after practice. I have something I need to tell you.”

“Why don’t you go take a whirlpool and then we’ll stretch after practice,” he says loudly so that my teammates can hear.

“Thanks,” I say.

After practice, he meets me in the training room.

“So what were the calls about?”

“We’re going back to Malibu on Thursday.”

Cooper’s face turns a shade of pissed-off red. “Are you fucking nuts?”

“Calm down!” I whisper softly, but firmly. “I have to do something. I can’t let what happened stop my plan. I also need to go back to honor her.”

“You’re not going to the funeral.”

“No, that wouldn’t be right, since I didn’t know her. We’ll be honoring her at the club.”

“No. No fucking way are you going back there. I’ll quit before I’ll allow that.”

“Fine. Then I accept your resignation.”

Cooper bangs his fist on the table. “Oh, you are so damn stubborn.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Cooper. I have to do something. I can’t let him get away with it.”

“He might not get away with it. The police are going to question him.”

“That’s awesome news. He deserves to go to jail. But knowing him, he’ll get off. And knowing him, he’ll be back at the club on Thursday to see if I have the balls to show up.”

“I want to know your entire plan now. We can’t go out the back again. We have to have a different plan. Something . . .” Cooper says.

“More dramatic?” I laugh, knowing my plan is just that.

“No, I was thinking safe.”

“We’re going out the front door, Cooper. I just need you to make sure I get there and then to  . . .”

I tell him my escape plan.

Cooper slaps his forehead. “You seriously have a flair for the dramatic.”

“Think it will work?”

“It’s not like he’ll be able to follow us. But you told me that when you were in Miami he had a gun. The photos he’s sent to your mom and Brooklyn involved shooting. What if he decides to start shooting? Creates a distraction to get you out. Or, worse, to clear a path to you.”

“I think—well, hope—that he’ll be too shocked to do anything. And by the time he realizes what’s happening, we’ll be gone.”

“Let me think this through, okay.”

I nod, shutting up.

“It sounds more like a movie than real life,” he finally states.

“That’s why it’s perfect. He’ll never expect it. And if you can get your friends to help, I’ll stay safe.”

Cooper shakes his head at me. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The one crying.

6:15pm

Since there’s a home basketball game tonight, we eat pizza and get ready in the dance locker room.

Once I have my dance uniform on and my hair fixed, I text Aiden.

Me:  Good luck tonight.

Hottie God:  Thanks. Tonight is a big game, but I have to admit, my thoughts are on you wearing candy. Did I mention I have a sweet tooth?

Hottie God:  And tongue.

Whew. Is it hot in here?

I use a pompom to fan my face.

Me:  I like your tongue.

Hottie God:  It likes you too. I have to go. What outfits are you wearing tonight? Are they nice and short?

Me:  Very skimpy as usual.

Hottie God:  Perfect.

The game is very back and forth. It’s also really rough. Dawson has already fouled out and Ace is close. Aiden makes a great defensive play, stealing a pass and running down the court for the fast break score. But as he goes up for the ball, he’s badly fouled and falls down on the ground hard.

I hold my breath as he lies on the ground, holding his ankle and writhing in pain.

The trainer runs out onto the court and helps him limp off. He isn’t even able to shoot his own free throw.

He sits on the end of the bench and the trainer tries to remove his shoe.

Aiden winces in pain and shakes his head, so the trainer takes him to the locker room.

Dallas is sitting low in the bleachers ogling Kassidy, so I try to catch his eye.

That doesn’t work. So I figure, screw it.

I get up and march over to Peyton. “I’m going to the boys’ locker room.”

“You can’t go in there,” she tells me. “I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just a twisted ankle.”

I stare at her.

“Okay, fine,” she finally says. “Run down and get all our glitter gloves.”

I smile at her. “Thank you.”

I go out a side gym door, race down to the locker area, barge into the training room, and find Aiden getting his shoe cut off.

“Are you okay?” I ask panicked.

“Not sure. Sprained my ankle for sure. It’s so swollen that we can’t get my shoe off.”

“That’s good right? Usually they aren’t broken when they swell up that fast?”

“I’ve never heard that,” the trainer says.

I can see the pain on Aiden’s face. I want to make it go away.

“I’m fine,” he says, gritting his teeth as the trainer cuts away his sock.

I peek at his ankle. “That looks like it hurts,” I say, stating the obvious.

“What do you want to do, Aiden?” the trainer asks. “We can do RICE or take you to the hospital now for an X-ray.”

“What’s RICE?” I ask.

“Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation,” Aiden says. “Let’s go with that. And some ibuprofen, please.”

The trainer walks into the storage room, so I move to Aiden’s side. “It’s really swollen.”

He holds my hand. “I’m okay.”

Tears start to fall from my eyes. I know it’s stupid. I know he’s not seriously hurt.

He reaches up and wipes away my tears. “Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

“I don’t like to see you hurt, Aiden.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’ve twisted an ankle.”

I know what he’s saying is true, but he looks just like he did that day in the chapel. And the day at the pep rally. And it breaks my heart to think I’m going to cause him more hurt soon.

Leaving him.

Telling him I’ve been lying to him.

The trainer comes back in the room, hands Aiden some Advil and water, wraps his ankle, and says, “The game’s almost over. Why don’t we get you set up in your room before everyone starts coming out of the gym.”

Once the trainer gets Aiden into bed, with a pillow propping up his foot, he gives him a few more instructions and leaves.

“I have some pain pills left from when I got stitches. Do you want one?” I ask him as I gingerly sit on the corner of his bed.

“Let’s see how the Advil works first, but I might take you up on that later.” He makes a sad face.

“What’s wrong?”

“We’re supposed to go to Stockton’s tonight.”

“We can go there any night, Aiden. The candy will wait.”

I move closer to him and run my hand gently through his hair.

He leans back on his pillow, closes his eyes, and falls asleep.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14TH

ifly.

5am

Aiden texts me, waking me up.

Hottie God:  I’m going to get X-rays this morning. Swelling is better than last night, but I can’t put any weight on it. Sorry if this wakes you up. I can’t sleep.

Me:  Does it still really hurt?

Hottie God:  Not as bad, unless I try to stand.

Me:  Text me and let me know what they say. 

Hottie God:  I will. ifly.

Me:  ifly too, Aiden. 

Things heat up.

French

I learn absolutely nothing in class this morning. My mind is too busy worrying about both Aiden and my trip tomorrow.

When Aiden walks into French class with a boot on his foot, I almost want to cry again.

“You didn’t text me,” I say.

“Sorry, I forgot my phone.”

“Should you be walking on it?”

“That’s what the boot is. A walking cast.”

“It’s broken?”

“No, just sprained. The boot will help support it, and I won’t have to deal with crutches.” He laughs. “Now we’re both Boots.”

I look more closely at his eyes. “Did they give you pain medication?”

“Yeah, I feel pretty good right now. About ready to fall asleep, though.”

“I don’t think you should be in class.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Why don’t I see if Miss Praline will let me take you to your room.”

He raises his eyebrows at me. “That sounds even better.”

I tell Miss Praline that Aiden isn’t supposed to be in class because he’s drugged up and ask if I can take him to his room.

Thankfully, she gives me a pass.

I barely get Aiden situated on his bed before he’s pulling me onto his lap and kissing me hard.

Things heat up very quickly and soon he’s taking off my blazer and unbuttoning my blouse.

“I should probably lock your door,” I tell him, getting up quickly to do just that.

When I get back, he’s got his pants unzipped and the Titan unleashed.

I have to say that I never really thought boy parts were particularly attractive.

Until now.

But, then again, everything on Aiden’s body is perfection.

In my eyes, at least.

He pulls me back onto his lap and resumes his hard kisses, his hands simultaneously finding their way under my skirt and pushing my panties aside, so that . . .

I can barely even describe it, I’m so overwhelmed.

But my parts are touching his parts.

All I would have to do is push up a little, then slide back down on top of it and we’d be doing it.

When Mom had surgery a couple years ago for tennis elbow, they told her not to make any big decisions when she was on pain medication. Not to sign anything. That her judgment could be impaired.

Would it be bad of me to take advantage of Aiden while his judgment is impaired?

As he’s sliding me back and forth on top of him, I don’t care about his judgment. I just want to do it.

But then I look deep into his eyes.

I feel the heat.

The hunger.

But not the connection.

His eyes don’t have the focus they usually do.

And I can’t do that to him.

I want him to remember every single detail of our first time.

Which means I have to get the heck off him or it’s going to happen by accident.

Like accidentally on purpose.

I roll so that I’m lying on the bed next to him, take the Titan in my mouth, and do what he enjoyed at the loft.

Aiden’s so damn cute afterward.

You’d think I just gave him a million dollars, let him watch porn, and made him a sandwich. The grin on his face is so contagious that I can’t help but smile too.

“We almost did,” he says. “You stopped it. I didn’t think you’d stop it.”

“If you weren’t all drugged up on pain medication, I wouldn’t have.”

“I made the trainer stop at the store so I could buy us a movie to watch tonight,” he says, the drugs obviously causing him to flit to a random topic.

“You did?” I say, humoring him. “What did you get?”

“Clash of the Titans,” he says, suppressing a laugh. “I also got the sequel, Wrath of the Titans.”

“Oh,” I say, realizing he’s still sharp as a freaking tack.

When I’m with Aiden, I never know whether to curse the gods for making him or praise them for doing so.

But for this, I’m going with damn the gods.

I’m just saying.

“Are you going to tell me about the name? And, more importantly, has it lived up to its name so far?” I can tell he is both teasing and serious.

I might as well tell him now. Maybe he won’t remember it.

“Do you know the story of the Titans?”

“Sure. They were the first gods before Zeus and all of those guys took over.”

“Right. So you know that I called you the God of all Hotties when I first met you.”

“I’m still in your phone as Hottie God.”

“Yes, you are. I thought you were so beautiful that you must be part god. You also seemed to always have this power over me.”

“What kind of power?”

“Like, I couldn’t think straight. Sometimes I thought you could read my mind. I’m pretty sure you’re infused with love potion. And when you kissed me . . .”

“When you kissed me, I was done for. Ever since that first kiss on the Ferris wheel. Totally and completely your love slave.”

“You didn’t act like it.”

“I was trying too hard, I think. But you were like uncharted territory. I had to make my own map. I was serious when I said that I did stuff for you that I’ve never done for anyone else, but I also know that, had I done it for any other girl, she would’ve been ripping her panties off for me. Instead, everything I did just seemed to piss you off.”

“Because I heard you were a player. I was still getting over B and, the way you made me feel, I was afraid of setting myself up for heartbreak.”

“And what do you think now?”

“That I’m setting us both up for heartbreak.”

He places his hands possessively on my cheeks, exactly the same way he did in St. Croix. Like he desperately needs me.

He gives me a single long kiss.

The kind of kiss that always affects me the same way.

Deep within my soul.

Telling me that we can make it through anything.

That we can survive the kiln.

Which, if I do what I’m thinking about doing, is going to get very hot very soon.

“So, tell me the rest of the Titan story,” he says, changing the subject again.

“Remember that day, when you got mad at me about wearing Dawson’s jersey?”

“Because I said you were dumb?”

“Exactly. And then you went all Alpha Aiden, threw me across your desk and attacked me.”

“Alpha Aiden?”

“Yes, you finally took control. Showed me how you felt. It was hot. Like the kitchen counter. The pool table. Anyway, my legs were spread apart and I could feel you were excited. And the way you were kissing me, I thought maybe we’d do it, you know. Then and there. And I wanted to. I don’t know, my brain just thought Unleash the Titan in the heat of the moment.”

“I wanted you too. But I didn’t want to be . . .”

“I know,” I say, rubbing his hand. “I’m glad now that we didn’t. And I was so freaking happy that you finally kissed me with your tongue that I didn’t care. But, see, if we watch the movie tonight, you’ll know that I got it wrong. The Titans wanted to unleash the Kraken, so that the people would hate the gods, which would, in turn, make them less powerful. So, technically, that should’ve been its name.”

“But in the heat of the moment you couldn’t think straight?”

“Exactly.”

“I like Titan better than Kraken.”

“I do too.”

“Have you ever named a guy’s,” he gestures toward his crotch, “before?”

“No.”

“Even better,” he says with a grin.

Writing the script.

6:25pm

I order Aiden some Chinese food, give him a pain pill, and stare at his beautiful face as he sleeps.

And I know.

Know what I have to do.

Know that I can’t lie to him any more.

That I can’t wait until March to tell him the truth.

That I’m going to tell him after the dance.

In our hotel room.

And that I’m going to do it before we go any further.

I know there’s a definite chance that he’ll hate me.

That he’ll walk away.

That he won’t understand.

But I can’t do it with him until he knows all of me.

I want him to know all of me.

So I spend the rest of the evening writing and rewriting the script.

THE SETTING: HOTEL SUITE AFTER WINTER FORMAL.

AIDEN

(Opening a bottle of champagne)

KEATYN

(Lighting all the votive candles Aiden brought)

(They kiss)

I need to tell you something.

AIDEN

(Sits on the edge of the bed)

What?

KEATYN

(Stands in front of him)

I’ve been lying to you. Actually, I’ve been lying to everyone about something. And I need you to know.

AIDEN

(Looks concerned)

Okay.

KEATYN

I came to Eastbrooke because I was being stalked. My last name isn’t Monroe. Well, technically, it is because it was legally changed, I think. I’m not really sure about that. I used to be Keatyn Douglas. And my mom doesn’t work in oil and gas. But she is in France. And her name is Abby Johnston.

AIDEN

(Stands up in shock)

When I get back to my dorm, I find another present wrapped with a pink ribbon.

I open it and find a teeny pair of boy short undies with two words written across the butt.

I smile at them, now certain Riley is my naughty Santa, and pack them in my bag to wear tomorrow night.

Then I work on a special gift for Vincent.