Текст книги "Switch"
Автор книги: Jennifer Ryder
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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 21 страниц)
When her eyes meet mine, her shoulders visibly drop. The smile that spreads across her glossy pink lips is nothing short of beautiful. Having her close lifts some of the weight from my chest, making it easier to breathe.
When April makes her journey down the aisle, with Mac proudly at her side, I turn to look at my best mate. Wow. Never have I seen a man smile like this before. I don’t know whether he’s nervous, about to break out into laughter or burst into tears. From the look of his glassy eyes, I’d say crying is a real possibility. I could give him shit about it, but I won’t. The nuts and bolts of it are that he’s a softy when it comes to his woman. I admire that.
The minister takes over proceedings, and guides Jones and April in their vows. When I’m asked for the rings, I hand them over as if I’m operating on autopilot. I’m here in body, but in spirit I’m standing at the cemetery.
It’s cold, just like it was the day we buried him. As I stand at the foot of his grave, I apologise to him once more. I’m sorry, brother. A million fucking times, I’m sorry.
I’ll never forget how small he looked in that coffin, how his skin felt cool and waxy beneath my fingers.
“Rocco?” Suds says, gripping my forearm. It takes a few blinks before I realise where I am. Jesus, I’m out of it. “We need to sign,” she whispers into the shell of my ear.
“Right,” I mutter, as I clear the deathly visions from my head.
As we sign the paperwork as witnesses, I can’t stop staring at Suds. She’s like some kind of apparition. An angel in a walking wet dream.
“What?” Soph says, with her brows pulled tight together.
“Huh?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shake my head.
“You’ve got nothing to say?”
“You’re beautiful.” And I wanna bury myself in you.
“You scrub up alright too, grease monkey.” She winks and then takes her position on the other side of the aisle, beside Vicky.
“Now we get to the fun stuff,” the minister says. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
The church fills with wolf whistles and cheers as Jones dips April and kisses the ever-loving fuck out her. In front of all these people, he kisses her as if he doesn’t give a shit who’s watching. When they come up for air, April is clutching at her chest and her face and chest are flushed. The two lovebirds laugh together and then hold each other, whispering and revelling in the moment.
For the first time in a long time, I know what I want.
I want that.
I want someone to look at me like April does Jones. I want that heat, that passion, that friendship and that understanding.
I glance over, and Suds is talking with Vicky. She glances up and our eyes connect.
I want that girl.
****
“Next up, we have the best man speech with Rocco De Luca,” Nathan says, and hands over the microphone.
Polite claps fill the room, but everyone on the bridal table wolf whistles. I shake my head as I chuckle. I love these guys.
I look out to the sea of well-dressed people, their eyes eagerly waiting for some words of wisdom. Not one for public speaking, I pretend for a moment that they’re all wearing MX gear. I’ll like ’em better this way.
“I’m not big on words, so I promise this’ll be brief. Jones is my brother. My family. I couldn’t be happier today, seeing these two tie the knot and I’m privileged to have stood beside you today as your best man.” I swallow down and loosen my tie. Sweat beads across my forehead. “I lost someone close recently and had it not been for some special people in this room I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it. Jones, today you married the love of your life. As husband and wife, I just know you have an awesome future ahead. With the way you two can’t keep your hands off each other, it won’t be long before you have a family of your own.”
The newlyweds lean in and kiss each other, drawing an echo of ahs and aws from the room.
I reach out and place my hand on Jones’s shoulder, looking my mate in the face. I want him to know I’m sincere about what I say next. “It’s taken some time and some life lessons, but I’ve come to realise that I want what you guys have, and I hope one day soon I’ll get that chance. With any luck, in years from now our kids will be racing around together.”
“Cheers to that, bud,” Jones says, and smiles.
I turn back to the room, and raise my glass of non-alcoholic champagne, which I know will taste like arse. “Would you please raise your glass, and help me cheers to Spencer and April.”
The room erupts with cries of “to Spencer and April!”
****
The happy couple have their first dance, and Nathan announces it’s time for the bridal party to join them on the dance floor. Suds offers me a mega-watt smile as I take her hand and lead her to the side of the room. I’d rather have her all to myself somewhere. Fucking formalities.
“I thought you’d have two left feet,” she says, as I hold my arm up and twirl her around. The hem of her dress floats around her thighs, flashing me enough extra flesh to cause my dick to stiffen. It’s not the most convenient timing with this many people gawking at us.
I grind my hips into her, letting her feel what she’s caused in a matter of moments. I’m not holding back today. Not anymore.
“You look good enough to eat,” I growl in her ear.
She laughs softly and stares deep into my eyes as we continue to move to the slow beat. “Hungry, are we?” she says with a raised brow. Tease.
“Starved.”
The song ends, and Suds lowers her hands to her sides and takes a step back.
“Not so fast, Suds. I’m not done dancing with you yet,” I growl, grabbing her hand and bringing her body against mine.
“What’re you playing at, De Luca?” she asks as she boldly glides her hips against mine and my growing hard-on.
“What. No De Loser anymore?” I challenge.
She brushes her finger along my jawline and then presses her finger to my lips. “No. Not anymore.”
“Must’ve done something right,” I joke.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she says, and tilts her head to the side. Her green eyes bore into mine, as if she’s searching for something. “Did you mean what you said in your speech?”
“Every word.”
She nods and her throat bobs as she swallows. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she says, her voice wavering.
“Spit it out then.”
There’s an awkward pause between us.
“I found a place,” she finally says.
My feet freeze. She’s leaving? Whoa.
“A place, huh?” I say, trying not to show how much it hurts. It’s gonna be one lonely place without her. “Cool,” I add, shrugging one shoulder. I say it more to convince myself to be that way. I knew this day would come, but each passing week gave me the hope that maybe she’d stay … permanently.
“Are you okay?” she asks. “You seemed kind of distant at the church.”
I can’t tell her what the cop told me today and spoil what’s happening here. I don’t want her to stay because she feels sorry for me. No one should hold her back after the shit she’s been through. Not even my selfish arse.
Suds could have made a move to leave before now because she had the money. I adore her for not turning her back on me. She put me before herself, and the only person who’s ever done that for me is my own mother.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Good.”
“You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” I whisper.
“What?” Suds wraps her arms around my neck and draws our chests against each other.
I squeeze my arms around her waist and drink in her sweet, blossomy scent. “I want you in my bed, Suds.”
She melts into my embrace and a sweet sigh falls from her lips. “We’ve been practically in the same bed since, well, you know.”
Yeah, I know. Since he died.
“Not to sleep,” I say, my voice deeper this time.
“Oh,” she says quietly.
“Not quite the answer I was lookin’ for.”
She worries at her bottom lip, but her lust-filled gaze is telling me a yes.
“Is it poor form to leave before the bride and groom?” she says, and allows a smile to spread wide across her face.
And there it is. I’ve got her. Small fucking miracle.
I laugh softly and rest my forehead against hers. “Not in my book, but I think we have to hang in here for at least another couple of hours.”
“You keep rubbing that lizard against me and I won’t last a couple of minutes.”
Fuck me. I’ve a right mind to drag her arse out of here and drive into her until she’s a screaming hot mess. I won’t though, because I’m a selfish man. I don’t want it quick. I wanna be greedy. The first time we do it, it’s gonna mean something. I won’t cheapen it. Holding out until we can leave the celebrations is gonna be some fucking test of my manhood and willpower, but it’ll be worth it.
“I have a room here. That’ll save some time.”
She scrunches her brow. “You do?”
“Yup.” I paid for a room for one reason. You. My way of kicking my arse into action. There’s no way I’m spending the night in that room alone.
“But it’s only twenty minutes in a cab home.”
“I know this. I can do a fuckin’ lot in twenty minutes, Suds.”
“I bet you can.”
A couple brushes past us, followed by a hushed giggle. Billy and Vicky dance close, trapped in their own world as their eyes greedily eat each other up. Billy whispers something in her ear, causing her to sigh and fall farther into his arms. My prediction is that Billy will be dicking Jones’s baby sister tonight.
Guaranteed.
“Looks like we won’t be the only ones bumping uglies tonight,” I whisper to Suds, and jut my chin towards them.
“I’ll have you know there’s nothing ugly about my puss,” she says, her tone clipped. If it wasn’t for the challenge in the raise of her eyebrows, I’d be worried about her reaching for the nearest piece of silverware to carve me with.
“And I can’t wait for you to prove it, Suds.”
****
My fingers fumble with the buttons. Do you think I can do a simple thing like undo my shirt? Fuck no. Not when the woman of my wet dreams is stripping off layers like her skin is on fire.
I end up ripping the fabric open, causing buttons to skitter onto the bedside table and bounce on the floor. My shirt gets caught on my cufflinks, and it takes some fucking effort to get it off. When my hands are free, my belt isn’t too difficult to undo, thank fuck, and I’m down to my boxers in seconds, with my pants and shoes kicked across the room.
“You move fast,” Suds says, with a soft laugh.
Suds’s dress is pooled at her feet, and she’s standing there in a white strapless bra, a matching G-banger and those fuckin’ hot heels. Her hair is wild, her cheeks flushed pink, and her chest is expanding in time to her quick breaths. Holy testicles, I need to preserve this image.
“Stop. Wait.”
I’m stone-cold sober. There’ll be no haze surrounding tonight. I wanna remember every second. It doesn’t help that I’m as nervous as I was my first time. I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.
Her body freezes in place, and she swallows hard. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just … don’t rush.”
Suds gives me a wry smile and then presses the toe of her shoe onto the soft edge of the bed beside my knee. With her legs parted like that, I’ve got a prime view of her pussy. The sheer fabric provokes me as it blocks my view.
She leans over, teasing me with her knockout cleavage as she toys with the ankle strap.
“Leave ’em on,” I tell her, gripping her raised ankle beside me.
With my other hand I tug the G-string aside and bury my face between her legs, sucking long and hard on her clit. The salty taste of her on my tongue has my cock painfully hard.
Her nails graze over my temples, and she tugs at my hair. She opens her legs wider and thrusts her hips against my face.
“That mouth,” she chokes out.
The grunting noises that break from her lips have me wondering how loud she’ll be when I’m balls’ deep inside her. I appreciate a woman who isn’t afraid to be vocal about their pleasure, but this girl? I wanna hear every sweet sigh, whimper and scream.
I flick her clit with my tongue until she’s riding my face as if she’s seconds away from coming. With my hands either side of her hips, I lever my face away and glance up at her.
Her eyes are glazed over, and the one foot she has on solid ground is teetering on its high heel.
“Bra. Off,” I say, as I glide my hands over her smooth stomach up to her tits. With both hands, I pinch her nipples hard. She squeals and makes quick time undoing the strap and ripping the fabric from her.
Suds sits astride me and wrestles me into the mattress. Her hot mouth teases mine in a frenzy as she rolls her hips into my boxers.
With one hand I’m tugging the hair at the nape of her neck, and with the other I’m trying to get my fucking boxers off. As if sensing my frustration, her fingers scoop into the fabric either side of my hips. The boxers are yanked down my legs, freeing my swollen cock. She rids herself of the last stitch of her clothing, leaving me gasping for breath at the divine creature in front of me.
She sits across my lap, and rubs her wet pussy up and down my shaft. “Fuck,” I groan, driving my nails into the firm flesh of her arse.
I twist and roll her into the mattress. She battles to be on top, using her legs and arms for leverage, but I want her beneath me. I need to be in total control.
I pin her wrists above her head with one hand. “Just let me fuck you,” I growl through a chuckle and bite down on her ear, eliciting a yelp and then a breathy moan from her.
I reach for the condom I’d tossed on the bedside table earlier.
“Put this on,” I say, freeing her arms.
Her palm grazes down my shaft. Fuck me dead. She grips my cock tightly and pumps the shaft. I buck my hips. I want in.
“On this?” she asks, in a smart-arse tone.
“Don’t tease,” I grunt.
She sits up, wasting no time rolling it right to the base, and then lies back down, legs open wide.
“So fuckin’ pretty,” I hiss, trailing my fingers through her glistening pussy.
“I told you,” she whispers. “Nothing ugly about it.”
She wriggles her arse closer to me, and claws at my shoulders, pressing her tits against my chest.
With measured thrusts, I drive deeper inside her, sucking at her neck and the soft lobe of her ear. Having her tight pussy wrapped around me, her body holding on with pure want and need—it’s a revelation. This is what it’s like to have sex with someone you feel for.
“You know this isn’t just fucking, Suds. I … I didn’t mean—”
She silences me with her mouth in a kiss that’s more tender than anything I’ve ever had. “I know.” She sighs.
Our lips meld together as I lose myself with a woman like I never have before. Each thrust adds to the mass of emotions flowing through me.
Suds screams, and I let go of the hurt and all the shit barrelling around in my head. I pump into her faster and come hard as her pussy tightens around me.
A guttural cry rips from my throat. I slow the movement of my hips, each roll drawing out the pleasure of my orgasm. My heart is pounding out of control. Like I feel.
“Oh, Rocco,” Suds whispers as her body stiffens around me.
I don’t ever want her to let go.
****
SOPHIE
Anyone would think we just ran across the finish line in the City to Surf. Our bodies are covered in a sheen of sweat, our hair a tangled mess.
“That was … fuck,” he says, with his hand over his heart. I sweep my hand across his warm chest and slip it beneath his fingers, confirming his heart is pounding as hard as mine is. With the back of his hand he wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.
Wow. He felt it too.
Rocco smiles, and my chest tightens. With his closest arm, he draws me to his side and kisses my forehead.
“Next time, you ride me … just like that bull in Vegas.”
I sit up on my elbow and hook my leg over his as I undo my heels. “You were watching me?”
“You were fuckin’ incredible.”
As our breathing recovers, we lie together in a state of hopped-up bliss.
The way he felt inside me, how he wore his strengths and his weaknesses for me to see was completely overwhelming. And the sex? Stupidly incredible.
I’d held back tears when I should have let them out. I don’t need to hide them from him. The more I think about what just happened between us, the funny flutter in my stomach becomes stronger. Is it too soon to tell him how I feel?
Rocco’s breathing tapers off into a light rattle through his nose, leaving me wondering where this leaves us.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ROCCO
Things always look different in the harsh light of day.
Last night was beyond what I’d imagined, and I’ll hang on to the memory until I’m old and senile.
Suds squirms beside me, still wrapped up in my arms. Even in my state of sleep, I felt as if she was always attached to me somehow—her arms, her legs, her scent.
“Morning,” I croak, and brush a tendril of hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear.
Her eyelids flutter open, and a sleepy smile curls at her lips.
“Hmm. Morning,” she says, focusing those green jewels on my eyes. Her body tenses a little as she breathes deeply in and out.
I twist on my side and squeeze her body against mine, but I sense a growing distance between us.
“What’re your plans today?” I ask, and kiss her on the forehead.
Her hands weave their way against my chest and she increases the gap between us. “Um, the real estate is trying to lock in a start date on the lease, so I need to make some calls.”
“You’re still planning on moving?” I ask in a quiet voice. Inside I’m secretly hoping that last night changed something.
“I have to stand on my own two feet, Rocco. Until I do this for myself, I won’t be in a place where I can be good for someone else.”
“I hate to tell you, but I think you’re already there.”
“I need to feel that inside of me. Can you understand why I have to do this?”
The truth is, I can. I can’t hold her back. From the solemn look on her face, it’s obvious to me how important it is to her. “It’s the same thing as doing AA on my own, I guess.”
Whilst I know she said she’d always be there, I know I won’t truly be on my way to kicking this thing if I can’t do it solo.
“Yeah. I think it is. I said I’d be there for you. Any and every meeting you want me to come along to. The fact that we won’t be living together doesn’t change that.”
I shake my head. “You’re really somethin’, Suds.”
“I’ve still got your back, De Luca. Always.”
She takes my face in her warm hands and traces her finger over my scar and down along the ridge of my jawline.
“Do you regret last night?” she asks in a hushed voice.
“Nope,” I say, with a shake of my head. But I do have doubts if I was in the right headspace for it. “Do you?”
“It was amazing, I just … I need time.”
Something I have by the bucket-load. It’s just me, myself and I, and a shit tonne of time.
“Rocco, I’m sorry if I was selfish sleeping with you before I was ready. Until you whispered in my ear on that dance floor, I didn’t realise how much I wanted this. I’ve tried to ignore this thing between us for too long, and last night I didn’t wanna close my eyes to it anymore.”
“You mean the world to me, Suds. I can give you time.”
“You can?”
“For you, anything.”
It’s time for Rocco De Luca to stand up. To take life by the balls and be a man. A man my mother would be proud of. A man who will live the life that V never can.
I want to be better.
I want to charge ahead.
I want this beautiful woman to love me for the man I know I can become, because he’s far stronger than I am. His resolve is hardened, he’s battled his demons, and maybe that version of me will be able to love her the way she should be loved, because this incredible woman deserves nothing less.
I want so badly to be that man.
Once she walks out that door today, I know we won’t be together until I’m him.
And I’ll just have to be okay with that.
EPILOGUE
SOPHIE
Six months later
I park out front of the Wayside Chapel and lean against the door of my car. I’d bet anything that the smile on my face is a stupid shade of ridiculous.
People filter from the building, but there’s no sign of the familiar face I’m here for.
He has to be here.
After the wedding, I moved out, but Rocco and I still caught up with each other, our friendship unable to keep us apart. He refused to let me come to any more meetings, insisting he had to do it himself.
For the last month he’s been on tour overseas with the team. The space has given me time to think. About me. About him. About us.
I’ve seriously missed his bossy arse.
Should I text him? I pull out my phone and scroll through my messages. Grumbling to myself, I lock it down and chuck it through the open car window and onto the front passenger seat. Spencer said he was back from the tour.
He will be here. Relax.
I keep my eyes trained on the door. Minutes later, Rocco walks out with a young guy with short dark brown hair. He’s not as tall at Rocco, but with his olive skin and dark facial features you could easily mistake them for being related. The fact that they’re both wearing black jeans and dark T-shirts only adds to the similarities.
They’re deep in conversation as they progress down the path, veering to the left of me. Rocco bumps his clenched fist against the guy’s upper arm, and then rubs his knuckles over his head. They both chuckle as they play wrestle. It’s so good to see him happy.
I let out an almighty wolf whistle to get his attention. Two pairs of eyes dart in my direction and they freeze.
“Get outta here, buddy. See you next week,” Rocco says to his friend.
My heart dances a quicker beat with each step closer he takes in those familiar boots with that unmistakable Rocco De Luca swagger.
“I thought I was fuckin’ dreaming for a second there,” he says, and stands toe to toe with my boots.
I lift my aviator sunnies to sit on my head. “Nope. You’re wide awake.” I still persist with the idiot grin. I can’t stifle it.
Rocco hauls me into his arms and squeezes me into his warm chest as he turns me around, lifting my feet off the ground. When he sets me down on my feet, my heart feels as if it’s sure to explode.
With the time apart I thought I’d feel different. The warm, soul-settling feeling in my chest and the want I have for this man overtake any reservations I might have had. It just confirms how right this is.
I still have hopes and dreams, but I want this man to be a part of them, and knowing he wants the same things as I do makes the decision easier. I could bring a child into this world alone, but I want that child to have everything—two parents that will love them unconditionally and support them no matter where their path may take them.
I take his jaw in my hands and scan over his face. The scar from the incident of which we joke about occasionally—just between us of course—has faded that little bit more. The whites of his eyes are bright, and his olive skin is soft and glowing. He’s been looking after himself, as promised.
I admire the new tattoo curling up the side of his neck, a beautiful cursive tribute to his brother.
“You look good,” I tell him, and trail my fingers down his chest. His pecs are firm, and he has some serious arm candy happening.
“So do you.” His dark eyes eat me up as they trail not so subtly over my body, clad in my favourite AC/DC black shirt and faded denim shorts.
I kiss him softly on the lips, which draws his arms tighter around me. His hips pin me to the side of my new car, right where the dent would have been on the old hatchback.
“I’m ready,” I say, my voice firm. There’s no question of what I’m saying with those two words. We both know what they mean.
He raises an eyebrow and smirks. “You are, huh?”
“Yep. The big question is, are you ready for me?”
A lazy smile curls at his lips and then he flashes me the stud. It’s like a remote control to my lady parts, zapping my puss to life.
“My dick’s ready,” he says with a roll of his hips, pressing his hard bulge against me.
Laughter bubbles from my mouth. “What about the rest of you, huh?”
“I’m a package deal, Suds. With the dick comes my heart and everything else.”
“You’re such a romantic,” I tease.
“I keep telling you. Chicks get hot for my lack of filter, and you fuckin’ love it.”
God, I’ve missed this monkey. I smack a loud kiss against his mouth and then rest my forehead against his.
“Yeah, I do.”
And a whole lot more.
