Текст книги "Pure Abandon"

Автор книги: Jeannine Colette

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

I scream.

I scream from the pit of my stomach, out of my chest, out of my feet, and out of my hair. I scream out of my lungs and let out my soul.

I scream so loud it hurts. The past forty-eight hours have been the most miserable of my life. First my husband leaves me and I find out he’s having an affair. Then I almost have one of my own and completely humiliate myself to learn the man isn’t interested in me. Plus, my infatuation has been caught by one of the wealthiest men in America and he’s probably telling my story to everyone in the party.

But what I really can’t take, the piece of me that hurts so much I don’t know what to do with, is the fact that despite everything, despite the last forty-eight hours, the truth, the plain truth is I think I’m falling for Asher.

I can’t breathe.

I try to fight it. I’ve been trying to fight it. As much as I want to deny it, I can’t help but find myself so incredibly drawn to him. He is an awful person. I know it. He leads me on and then leaves me hanging. He plays me for a fool time and time again, and I fall for it time and time again.

He is a walking contradiction. He’s arrogant, but he cares so much for those less fortunate. He is rude and dismissive, yet he gives me time to share my stories. He is insightful and funny. He always knows how to make me laugh, and he gets me.

I hate that I’m so attracted to him. He’s so physically attractive my body doesn’t know how to be in a room with him without wanting to jump on him.

“There, fine, I admit it. I want him!” I shout into the ocean. “You happy, karma? You’re a bitch and I know it!”

I am so upset I can’t even cry. I physically don’t have the energy to cry. I’m so hurt and sad and disappointed I just want to scream. I can’t believe I thought for a moment that Asher wanted me. Why would he want me when my husband doesn’t even want me?

Collapsing in the sand, I raise the bottle to my mouth and start to drink. The sand beneath my feet feels cool. It’s refreshing against the warm night air. I feel the bubbles of the champagne cast down my throat as I continue to listen to the waves. I drink in the moment. I know, in years to come, I’ll remember this moment as the beginning of the rest of my life. From here on in, it’s just me and Jackson.

I raise the mostly full bottle of champagne and stare at it for a moment. What am I doing? This isn’t who I am. I don’t leave an important work event and get drunk on a beach. I don’t fly off the handle and make irrational decisions.

Where have I let myself go?

Breathe.

I gather my shoes from the sand and start walking back toward the hotel, my beautiful dress has gathered sand on the bottom of the hem. Such a shame. It was a beautiful dress. I can’t go back to the party looking the way I do. It’s time I head back to the room and get the old Kathryn back.

I’ll book myself on the first flight out of here. I need to see Jackson.

I divert from the party and enter the hotel through a separate entrance. I have champagne on my dress and sand on my feet. I’ve made enough of a fool of myself tonight.

I get on the elevator with a young couple in the throes of passion and an elderly woman who looks at me in concern. I slide into the corner of the car and hang my head low. After stopping on the third and fourth floors, I’m relieved to be alone. The doors swing open and I head down the hallway toward my room.

My feet stop in their place. Outside my door is a man in a white dinner jacket with his head bowed, one hand resting against the door and a cell phone in the other, up against his ear. He looks concerned. He lifts his head as I approach and turns off his phone.

“Gray.” Asher looks at me in concern. His body turns toward me with his arms stretch out. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be, Asher? Shall I say somewhere else with someone else?”

“What are you talk—” His brow furrows before rising, his head slowly nodding in understanding. “Simone? Are you upset about Simone?”

I move my arm to motion him out of my way as I make my way past him and to my door. “Enough. I’m tired and I want to go home.” I open the door to my room and am surprised as Asher catches it before it closes and pushes it back open with his right hand.

“You’re going home?” His left arm wraps around his head and rubs the back of his neck, making the shirt wrinkle out of his jacket.

My voice rises in a harsh tone. “Please leave. I can’t look at you anymore.”

Asher releases the door and in one stride makes his way toward me. With both hands, he takes my face. “Please. Talk to me.”

My heart wants to melt, but I can’t be roped back into the vicious cycle. I remove his hands from my cheeks. I can’t take his touch anymore.

“This has to stop,” I cry.

“What has to stop?”

“This.” I motion to the space between us. “All of this. The talks, the gifts, the touching, the dancing, the kisses… all of it.”

His body is bowed toward me in a plea. His face is in anguish and that deep voice of his loses its footing. “What happened? Please. Talk to me.”

I can’t do this anymore.

“Go back to Simone. Go fuck her for all I care. Just leave me alone.” I grab the suit I came in from the closet and make my way toward the door.

My heart nearly leaps out of my chest as Asher grabs my shoulders, holding me still. I can’t move from his grasp.

“I don’t want Simone. Why do you think I’m here?” His eyes search mine for the answer, for recognition that I understand what he’s saying. “I walked her to the elevator. She wanted me to come up, but I didn’t want to. I went back for you. I went back and you were gone.”

He went back for me?

I will not get my hopes up. I can’t go into the darkness with him any longer. “No, Alex, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be your friend anymore.”

I try not to look into his eyes, but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

“Why can’t you be my friend anymore? Tell me!” His voice is stern.

“Because of this!” I move backward out of his hold. My eyes brim with tears, but I will them away. “Because when you touch me, I melt. When you stand near me, my body lights on fire.”

I can’t believe these words are pouring out of my mouth. I don’t care. He has to hear this. I have to put an end to this.

“You say you want to be friends, but I can’t. You say I’m refreshing and you love spending time with me. You say you’re relaxed around me. But I… I’m a ball of knots around you. I can’t breathe half the time.”

Asher screams out. “You think I’m relaxed around you?” His eyes are on fire. The controlled man starts to pace in front of the door. The only door that marks my escape. He runs his hands through his golden hair and tugs at the ends in frustration.

Exasperated, I don’t know what to do to make him move and let me the hell out. I try to reason with him. “You said… You always… You say you want to be friends and then this happens…”

“I know what I said, but it’s a lie. I said that shit about being friends so you’d spend time with me, so you wouldn’t run from me every time I entered the room.” He stops pacing as his body tenses, raising his hands into tight fists, punching the air around him. “You think I’m relaxed? I’ve been a nervous wreck for weeks!” He hits the dresser with his fist. My body flinches at his action.

“Damn it! I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you in the rain. I swear I didn’t know who you were, but you were the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen in my life. And then I found out you were married. It nearly killed me.”

He swallows hard and walks toward me, determined. How can he be saying these things to me? It’s not right.

“Don’t say it,” I plead; yet inside I desperately want him to keep on going.

“I want you, Kathryn.” Asher says my name, my real name, and it sounds like a prayer on his lips. He grabs me and pulls me close.

My face flashes hot and tears begin to form behind my eyes. “No, you can’t.”

“I. Want. You. Kathryn. I want you. I want you. I want you!” He pauses for a second and, with no warning, his body comes crashing toward me like a bulldozer. “Fuck it… I need you.”

His lips press hard on mine and, in animalistic passion, our arms lock around each other. Yearning, wanting, needing… our lips move fast and steady. Our tongues dance and I find it hard to breathe. Not from nerves, but from the sheer pace of our actions. I steady my lips, trying to fight the urge but he has a hold on them. He tastes so sweet and smells so exotic.

I try to fight it…

I try to resist it…

I try…

I try…

I fail.

With pure abandon, my lips answer his with equal earnest. My body follows suit, pressing my weight back into his. Not in my wildest dreams did his mouth taste as sinful as it does right now. All inhibitions are lost. My soul is his for the taking.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” Asher murmurs through our kisses. “Let me make love to you tonight. Just one night. That’s all I ask.” He pulls back and his eyes search mine for approval.

My body craves him, my mouth needing his taste again. I’m at the point of no return. I know this is wrong, but I am so tired. Tired of fighting whatever this is.

“Yes,” I cry out.

And that’s all he needs. Asher bears down on me, forcing my back against the wall. I drop the suit I was holding in my hands. His lips move brutally across my mouth, his tongue performing dangerous acts against mine.

Taking my hands in his, Asher raises them above my head, pinning me to the cold hard surface of the wall. His full weight presses against me, and I can feel his arousal against my belly. Every divot and sculpted muscle is hard against the front of my body, his hands strong in mine as they hold me in place. I am at his mercy.

Asher’s mouth travels along my jaw, taking tiny bites of my neck and along my collarbone until he is nipping at my ear and sucking on the lobe. The sensation traveling through my body sends a tingling sensation down my spine and deep into my peak.

My mind knows this is wrong, but my body can’t resist. I want this man. Hell, I need this man. I’ve never craved anything more in my life.

Taking my head in his hands, Asher tugs my hair, forcing my mouth up. His kiss is explosive. I can feel his desire continue to build as his kisses quicken.

In one swift motion, Asher’s hand slips along my neck and tugs at the string of my dress, sending the silky fabric down my body, pooling at my feet. His hand slides down my neck and rests on the clasp of my bra and he unhooks it with the tips of the fingers. That too falls to the floor.

My breasts exposed, I feel helpless. Asher takes my nipples between his fingers and tugs at them. I cry out in pleasure. His other hand cups my bottom and pulls me tighter into his groin.

I can’t take anymore. I need to feel his skin. Hungry with the thought of feeling him, I lace my fingers between the openings of his shirt and rip it open. Buttons fly across the room, but I have no apologies.

Asher lets out a deep growl from within his chest and leans down, taking a nipple in his hot mouth, and sucks on it, licking circles along the rim. I cry out in pleasure.

My cries must do something to him because he rises back to his feet and takes my mouth in his again, and I can feel the rock-hard impression of his desire so heavy against me I can’t imagine what it will feel like without the clothes between us.

I press my body against his and nearly collapse at the feeling of his hard chest against my breasts. My hands caress his firm torso and move toward his strong back, pushing the shirt and jacket away from his body.

Releasing our mouths, I steal a glance to appraise the man. Asher stands in front of me, panting, wearing nothing but satin skin over hard muscle and a black pair of pants. I can’t believe this is really going to happen. This incredible, sexy man is mine. Even if it’s only for one night, this ultimate Apollo, the great Omega, is mine. I drink him in.

My eyes rise and startle to see his looking down on me, not at my body, but straight into my soul.

“You are so beautiful,” he says, his chest rising and falling so fast and hard I almost don’t hear him.

He took the words right out of my mouth.

Asher grabs my backside and hoists me up to him, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. He carries me to the bed and lays me down on the soft duvet.

I sit up on my elbows and watch as he slowly removes his belt and pants, leaving him naked in front of me. I have to blink twice to make sure I’m seeing him properly.

Oh yes, he is as impressive as I dreamed he’d be.

Asher climbs onto the bed, his masculine, hard body hovering over mine. Sitting on his knees, he stops and stares down at me, his hands massaging the inside of my legs as they travel to my lace panties. Hooking his two forefingers inside, he skims them down my legs and throws them onto the nightstand beside the bed. He slowly licks his lips and his pupils dilate as he lowers his head toward me. My legs widen to accommodate the width of his shoulders as he settles between my thighs. He dips his head and kisses my navel, plunging his tongue in and out.

My hips arch off the bed, pleading for him to move lower. His mouth on my skin feels so good I may jump out of my skin. My body is wet and heat pools deep down inside of me, begging for him to be nearer. His tongue glides down my inner thigh, kissing and nipping my skin and nearly sending me over the edge.

“Alex, please…” I beg.

“No.” His head lifts and carnal eyes meet mine. “If I only get you once, I need to soak this in. Tonight we play by my rules.”

His commanding tone drips with sex. I grasp his hair in my hands and guide his mouth to the peak of my desire. His tongue knows exactly where to go and starts by licking the sensitive folds already hot with desire.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” he says, lapping up my wetness with the smooth velvet of his tongue.

I let out a loud moan of pure pleasure. He rewards me with a lick to my very swollen clit. I gasp for breath.

“Hold on, baby. Once I taste you, I’m not gonna be able to stop,” he says just before lowering himself back down and quickly starts circling my need, flicking, licking, and sucking at a pace I didn’t know was humanly possible.

I tug his hair in approval and he continues on, his tongue practically vibrating on my clit. There is no down time, no need for him to go faster because my body is practically trying to back away because the pleasure of it is too much and too fast.

Asher dips two fingers inside me, making a “come hither” motion, and my desire rises. Quickening his fingertips to match his mouth, my body is about to burst. Sweat pools on my chest and my ears burn so hot I might explode. My mind goes blank and my voice is crying out in sounds that aren’t human.

I need it, want it, feel it… Fuck it!

My body collapses around his fingers, my desire pooling into his mouth. My torso so far off the bed crashes down onto the duvet. Instead of being spent, I’m ignited. I grab Asher’s head and move his gorgeous full lips closer to mine, tasting my arousal on his beautiful full pout.

“I need you inside me,” I say, taking his tongue so deep in my mouth I may swallow him hole.

Asher pulls back and reaches over to his pants that were left on the edge of the bed. Producing a foil package, he rips it open and slides a condom down his very impressive manhood. His eyes spy mine eyeing up his erection.

“You have no idea what you do to me.” Asher mounts his body on top of mine and positions himself so his hard length is settled just outside my very wet entrance. Taking my hand in his, Asher holds it over my head and presses it down into he bed, pinning me in place. His other hand wraps around my waist and braces me for what’s about to happen.

Holding his head just above mine, he looks down at me, his golden eyes intense on mine. “I need to watch you,” he says. I nod, looking deep into those brown flecks you can only see when you’re really looking at him. Without warning, Asher presses himself hard inside me. I gasp in pleasure.

Asher stalls for a second, waiting for my body to adjust to his. He retrieves himself and slams his body into mine once more, rubbing my body from the inside out with his. I feel myself begin to climax again.

He feels it too and quickly slams his body into mine, harder and faster with each thrust. My internal orgasm builds deep inside my belly. Anticipation steepens. My eyes roll into the back of my head, forcing them to close with the intensity of each movement. I have never in my life experienced this much pleasure.

“Kathryn!” Asher cries out, and the sound of my name pouring out of his beautiful mouth in ecstasy is all I need to push me back over the edge. My body explodes.

Fingers gripping the sheets, I try to stabilize myself. I’m having an out-of-body experience.

Asher collapses on top of me, burying his head into my neck. We lay all legs and arms wrapped around each other as our heartbeats steady and breaths level. Asher runs his hand up and down my arm as I catch my breath.

Coming back to my senses, I shouldn’t be surprised how natural it feels to be in his arms. I bathe in the warmth of his skin, stealing a few moments to absorb the pleasure that just transpired.

His hand moves up to my hair and he softly brushes it away from my face. His lips kiss my hair. I inhale his intoxicating scent, drinking in this incredible creature.

“I dream of this,” he whispers in my ear.

I look at him, still not believing I’m really here, naked in bed with Alexander Asher. Is it possible all this time he has been as affected by me as I have of him?

Raising my right hand, I tenderly brush the side of his face. He closes his eyes as I run the tips of my fingers across his strong jaw and trace the line up to his temples and down the slope of his nose and the curve of his soft lips. He lets out a breath when my hand moves down to his neck and over his Adam’s apple to rest on his chest, his heart. Under my palm, I can feel his chest rise and fall in deep rhythmic patterns. His heart quickens.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask.

His eyes flutter for a second before he answers, “You.” He leans down and kisses my lips so softly I almost miss it. “I’m waiting for you to leap from this bed and scream about how wildly inappropriate this is.”

He’s right. I should be running for the door. But I can’t.

“You asked me for one night. The damage is done, and I don’t regret it. At least, right now, I don’t regret it. I’m here. I’m staying… at least for the night.”

Tomorrow. I can deal with this tomorrow. For now, I am warm and content in his arms.

The room is pitch black when I wake… What time is it? I turn to the side, but I can’t see the alarm clock. Am I still in my room? I try to lift my head, but Asher’s arm is wrapped around me, tight. So is his leg for that matter. I take his hand and unravel it from my body. His leg is more difficult. I have to catch my breath after trying to remove his massive leg from around my hip.

Removing myself from a blanket of Asher, I crawl out of the bed, placing the covers back on top of him.

Trying to navigate in the darkness, I tiptoe across the room and into the bathroom. The light is too bright, and I contemplate turning it back off.

I lean over the sink and wash off the heavy eye makeup I wore last night and apply some night cream. I pull the pins out of my hair and shake out the curls. Looking up in the mirror, I assess the damage. Surprisingly, I don’t look that bad. My hair is long and wavy from being pulled up for the gala. My skin is red from sun and sex. Spending an exhilarating night with Alexander Asher seems to agree with me.

Exhilarating it was. His body is incredible and his mouth can do extraordinary things. Even more extraordinary than the physical were his words. He needed me. He dreamed of me.

I look back at the woman in the mirror. Yes, she is a woman. A hot, attractive, feral woman.

Grabbing a soft waffle robe from behind the door, I wrap it around my body. The man may have already devoured my body, but there is still a sense of modesty to be upheld.

I open the door and am startled to see Asher sitting up in bed with the sheet draping across his hip. I want to crawl on top of him. The light from the bathroom casts a heavenly glow. He looks godlike. The hard stare of his eyes boring into mine looks primal.

I walk across the room to open drapes that lead to the patio overlooking the ocean.

“Don’t,” he commands.

“Don’t open the window?” I ask.

“No. I closed the curtains after you went to sleep.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. With the bathroom as my only source of light, I scan the room and notice the alarm clock is unplugged. ”Did you also unplug the clock?”

“Yes.”

“Why in the world would you do that?”

“You said I could have you for one night, and I don’t want this night to end.”

“Alex, this isn’t going to…”

Asher rises from the bed, standing tall in his naked glory. “Don’t overthink this, Kathryn. We already sinned, and I have no regrets. I just want you, and if I have to make time stand still, I’ll lock myself in this room with you forever.”

He takes my head in his hands, his thumbs grazing my cheeks, his lips firm and his eyes serious. “Tonight isn’t over. It’s just you and me.”

Asher leans down. His kiss is soft and gentle, more passionate. I can feel his desire for me, and I reciprocate. I don’t want the night to end either.

“Shower with me.” I grab his hand and lead him into the bathroom.

With a boyish grin, he obliges, grabbing a foil packet on the way in. Asher is already naked, so he walks into the massive shower and turns the water on. I can tell it’s hot from the steam that billows out against the glass door. He reaches out his hand and grabs the lapel of my robe and hoists me into the shower with him, robe and all.

I laugh out loud as he wraps his arms around me and we kiss under the warm water. The weight of my robe grows heavy, and I’m relieved as he unwraps me like a Christmas present and our bodies become one under the steady stream.

His lovemaking is slower than before, but the intensity is the same. I fall apart in his arms and my legs are jelly once again. I feel as if we were made to pleasure each other.

When we both come to, we slowly explore each other’s bodies with soap. I am enamored with his back and the beautiful ripples that soar over it. I place soft kisses on a scar that rests below his shoulder blade. Asher spends too much time admiring a beauty mark on my inner calf.

We wash each other’s hair and have a soap fight with the bubbles from our overuse of body wash. The water runs cold and our fingers start to prune from too much time kissing under the shower.

We dress ourselves in towels. I hang back and take a moment to dry my hair and freshen myself up. Exiting the bathroom, I’m shocked to see the room illuminated in the soft splendor of candles.

“Aren’t you full of surprises? Where did you get candles?” I ask. This man is always such a mystery.

“Maybe it’s magic,” he says from his place by the bed.

“I doubt it. Let me guess. You texted Devon to buy candles.”

Asher lets out a laugh and hangs his head in mock shame. “You know me too well.”

Even if this is only for one night, Asher is pulling out all the stops. I wonder if he’s like this with all his women. I push the idea out of my head. I’m not ruining this moment. If it’s only for one night, I’m going to live every second of it.

Asher appears from behind and wraps his arms around me.

“I’ve ordered in. Come, let’s eat.” He places a soft kiss on my neck and leads me to a table by the window. His towel is too small for his frame, and I giggle at the site of flesh peeking out from beneath.

“What I would give to know what goes on inside that little head of yours.” His luminous smile glows brighter than I’ve ever seen it.

“Very dirty thoughts, Mr. Asher.”

“Care to share?”

“You can use your imagination. Mostly revisiting the act of you ravaging me in the shower. You have given me plenty of moments to relive once this night is over.”

A frown registers on his face. Did I say something wrong? His eyes look down at the table. “Let’s not talk about tonight ending yet. The night, as they say, is still young.”

I nod and take a seat. Asher has ordered a smorgasbord of food. From pancakes to lamb chops, chocolate cake to a Caesar salad, I think he’s ordered one of everything on the menu.

“Since we have no idea what time it is, I didn’t know if you wanted breakfast or dinner.” His full mouth is mesmerizing as he speaks. I lean over to kiss it.

“This is perfect. I’m starving.”

He laughs heartily. “Perfect. What would you like?”

“Pancakes!”

“I ordered them especially for you. You told me that night we went out to the bar. You were standing under the streetlight, looking like heaven. I wanted to kiss you then, but I knew you’d just run.”

I recall that night. He wanted to kiss me? Thank God he hadn’t. I would have quit my job.

“You were my knight in shining armor. You took care of me that night. There is something about you. I fall apart when I’m around you.”

“That’s good to know because I feel the same way about you.”

I recall Asher’s words from last night. He’s been an equal wreck around me. All this time he wanted me yet pretended to be friends for personal gain. Am I another one of his toys, another conquest? Now that he’s had me, will he be done with me?

It’s probably for the best. I’m married. I know that’s what Asher likes about me. I’m someone with a husband pulling the string straight back home. Even though my husband is a total cheating bastard. But that is no excuse. I am now one, too.

The pancakes are warm and buttery, as sinful as the act they follow. I dive my fork and marvel at how easy they separate. They remind me of the first night I spent with Gabriel, or shall I say the first morning?

I awoke to the smell of butter on a frying pan. I knew something delicious was cooking in the kitchen. Yes, there was something very delicious: Gabe in nothing but sweatpants and a spatula, making me pancakes in the very modest kitchen of his college apartment. I must have startled him when I entered the room because he dropped a pancake on the floor at the sight of me.

His face was young and eager, his smile broad and excited to see I was still there. Gabe ushered a chair for me, and I took a seat as he poured me a glass of orange juice. I couldn’t deny my surprise that he had the ingredients to make breakfast. Not many boys kept a stocked refrigerator or anything other than beer and Ramen noodles. Even still, he didn’t strike me as the type of guy who made breakfast often.

I raised the fork to my mouth and took a bite. One bite and, boy, was I right about this one.

How on earth did he make them so hard?

Maybe if I tried adding more butter or syrup they’d taste better. No, no help. I looked up to see Gabe staring at me, watching me eat. I put on a gracious smile. It was so cute that he cooked for me. I couldn’t insult him.

When Gabe finally took a bite himself, he immediately spit it out. “Oh my God, that’s awful!”

Call it nervous energy and completely inappropriate for the mood, but I broke out into complete laughter. I was so relieved he felt the same way that I just let out the biggest, gut-wrenching laugh; I nearly fell out of my seat. After a few beats, Gabe joined in laughing too and that felt even better.

When our nerves and laughter had settled, we sat for a few seconds and caught our breath until a frown formed across Gabriel’s eyes. He stood and walked toward the kitchen, pushing his long brown hair off his forehead, taking a few paces in the kitchen before returning to the table and taking his seat.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

Leaning back on his chair, Gabe crossed his arms across his hunched chest. His chin lowering as he shook his head.

“I wanted to impress you,” he said.

Lifting myself from the chair, I walked toward him. Uncrossing his hands, I pulled them apart and took a seat on his lap, wrapping my arms around him. I landed a sweet kiss on his lips and looked into his navy blues.

“You are the most impressive man I’ve ever met. I don’t need pancakes. I just need you.”

His grin melted my heart and widened into a gorgeous smile that reached his eyes. Tugging me closer, he kissed me with his whole body, and I reciprocated.

“Come back to me, Kathryn.”

I smile at the memory of a simpler time. A time that wasn’t that long ago yet feels so far away. It’s amazing how much people can change in a day, a year, a decade. It’s a hard lot to swallow when you’re promising an eternity.

“Stop overthinking.” Asher’s eyes are on me. He stands up and makes his way around the table and leans down to me, placing soft kisses on my shoulder. “Come. Back. To. Me.”

Even though we’ve been more intimate than some married couples, I still feel nervous around him. I smile and try to ease his curiosity. He wants one day, and I want to give it to him. With Asher, I feel as sexy and alive as I did when I was a teenager. And I want to live in this moment.

“I know you like living in our cocoon up here, but we should get some fresh air,” I suggest, turning to my side and facing a kneeling Asher.

“I don’t trust that you’ll leave this room and not freak out.” He leans back on his heels. “I meant what I said. I need you. What you’ve done to me in the last few weeks has been amazing. I’ve never woken up with a woman and wanted to spend more time with her. Usually, it’s the complete opposite. But you, you make me thirsty for more. And I’m not ready to give that up. If you walk out that door, it’s over between us. I know it.”

He’s right. I haven’t told him about Gabriel’s affair, and when I do, this thing between us will be over. We both know Asher only wants me because he can’t truly have me.

“I’m a grown woman. I know what I’m doing.” I rise from the table and walk back toward the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” He sounds concerned.

“Swimming.”

Asher is relieved to see I didn’t melt at the sight of sun, nor did I run back into the building full of regret. In fact, I welcome the heat. I feel invincible.