Текст книги "The Becoming"

Автор книги: Jeanne Stein

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Chapter Thirty-Nine

My heart is beating too quickly, drumming too loudly in my chest. Avery can pick up on a thing like that. I have to calm myself, literally slow the mad rush of my blood through my veins. He mustn't know what I suspect.

How do I get the story from him? My first impulse, to rip into him, doesn't seem so practical now. He has been a vampire for three hundred years, while I, less than a week. What worked with Williams might not work with him. My strength comes from our union, Avery's and mine. Am I ready to test who is the stronger?

I watch Avery.

He's busying himself with the roses, arranging them just so in the vase. He wants everything to be perfect tonight. He's pleased with himself, confident that he has won me, satisfied that his life is exactly as he wishes it to be. He is not trying to hide any of this from me, nor is he prying into my thoughts. He is too full of self-congratulations to bother.

I move toward him, placing my glass at the table's edge. I thrust the ring box into his hand.

He takes it and raises his eyes. You have questions for me, Anna? I sense your heart is troubled. Tell me what's wrong.

He is being simple, direct. Let's see if he will be honest. I'll start with something he might not find threatening.

Tell me about Dena.

Avery raises an eyebrow. My housekeeper?

I met her today. She has marks on her neck. You have fed from her.

He nods. Of course I have. She offered herself. Many mortals do, you know. They think it's exciting.

You didn't hide the marks.

She didn't want me to. It's a symbol. Remember when I told you about how it could be with Max? Well, the pleasure is addicting to some and one host may not be enough.

So you had sex with her, too?

He shrugs. Before you came into my life. I haven't touched her that way since.

But you've taken her blood since, haven't you?

The blood was a condition of employment, the sex a perk.

That you could withdraw at any time. Did she know that? Maybe that's why she was so frightened of me. She thought I might force myself on her, feed from her, the way you did.

Avery shakes his head, an impatient little frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. Force myself on her? I don't see it that way.

She came to me of her own free will. I helped her and in turn, she helped me. She can leave my employ at any time. I don't know why she acted frightened around you. Perhaps you should ask her the next time you see her.

His cavalier dismissal of his housekeeper's distress triggers a spark of anger in me. I will ask her, Avery.

The frown deepens. He speaks aloud, his voice heavy with disapproval. “Why do you persist in involving yourself with mortals?

Why do you care what they want or don't want? I have tried to show you again and again that you are above all that now."

I believe that is true, Avery.

He peers at me, sudden distrust sparking in the depths of his eyes. “What are you hiding from me, Anna? What dark suspicions are you harboring? Tell me before you irreparably damage our evening."

"Will you be honest with me?"

"Haven't I always been honest?"

"No. You haven't."

He lets nothing project, no denial, no question. He simply nods his head and says, “Go on then."

I move to the other side of the table. If this is to be the showdown, I want something solid between us. “Let's start with the night of your party. You alerted the Revengers that I was coming."

"Is that a question?"

"No. The question is why? To see if I could get away? Was it some kind of performance test?"

He smiles. “If it was, you passed, didn't you? You got away."

"And came straight back to you. Was that the idea? Was that the reason you had my house burned down, too? To assure I would be dependent on you?"

He doesn't respond, his mind as blank and impenetrable as his expression.

"You didn't have to do that, you know. The bond between us had already been forged. My home was special to me. My grandparents raised my mother there. Now I have nothing left of that life. It was a stupid, pointless, hurtful thing to do."

Avery stirs a little, eyes flashing in the candlelight, but still, he says nothing, lets no emotion filter into his thoughts.

It's disconcerting, but I've come this far. I may as well press on.

"Then there's Donaldson and Beso de la Muerte. A very good distraction. It's taken me awhile to figure that one out, but I think I have it now. You killed him, didn't you? And you wounded me in order to slow me down so you could get home before I did. I think you planned to kill him beforeI found out he knew nothing about David or the fire, but you weren't quite quick enough. Still, there must be something else about Donaldson that you didn't want me to know. Like maybe, your connection to him? He hardly seemed the type to seek out vampires. He had a family that, judging from the pictures I found at the cave, he still cared about. Yet, he became a vampire, and you called him a rogue. How does that happen? Was he your rogue?"

This time, Avery allows himself a smile. “You are a wonder, Anna, do you know that?” He sips delicately at the glass in his hand, his eyes locked with mine. “If I'd had any idea how smart you are, or how intuitive, I might just have killed you in the hospital.

Perhaps I should have."

"Your mistake, I agree. Will you answer my question?"

He blows out an impatient sigh. “I turned Donaldson. He was a fussy, irritating little man who happened to stumble on an impropriety in one of the hospital accounts. He was doing an audit for his company. He made the mistake of coming to me about it.

I convinced him he had more to gain by looking the other way. When he objected, I set up the bookkeeping discrepancy in his own firm. I showed him how easy it was for one with computer savvy to set up such things. When his boss found out about it, Donaldson came over to my side very quickly. He didn't want to go to jail. I gave him immortality and the hospital problem disappeared. He was supposed to leave the country right away. How was I to know he had such a dark nature? It happens sometimes. He found he liked the killing. He left his family to protect them, the last decent thing he did."

He's still smiling at me, but there's no warmth now. He's watching me the same way a cat might watch a mouse, and he waits for my next move with the same placid feline patience. He's not the least bit afraid.

I rest the palms of my hands on the table and lean forward to continue.

"And what about Williams, what he said to me and what happened after? It wasn't me he needed to hide from, was it? He was afraid of you and what you might do when you found out what he told me. He was afraid of your power. Not mine. He retreated because he thought you and I were in league and that somehow threatened him. I still don't understand it."

I look into Avery's dark eyes. “But you aren't going to explain it, are you?"

Surprisingly, he responds. “You would not understand it—the balance of power between old-soul vampires in a community. I think perhaps now you never will."

"That's it? That's all you're going to say?"

A long moment passes. I have to fight back anger and frustration and regain my composure before I broach the subject most important to me—David.

His sharp eyes detect a shift in my expression, his mind probes into my subconscious. “You are very good about hiding your thoughts from me, Anna,” he says softly. “But there is something more you want from me."

He's turned his back to me, champagne glass in one hand, the velvet ring box in the other, staring out at the horizon. His shoulders slump a little and he adds, “I'm sorry it's come to this. I had such hopes for us.” He fingers the box. “The stone in this ring belonged to my mother. In the past, it's been worn by women, mortal women, good women. When I met you, though, I knew you were the last one destined to wear it. For all eternity."

He slips the box back into his jacket pocket. “But you can't let go. I read it in your heart. Your home. Your friends. Even when I strip them away, you refuse to let go."

I don't move from my place. I'm sure now that Avery knows what I've done. How he will react may determine whether I survive this or not.

He places the glass down on the table. “This is all about your friend, David, isn't it?"

Yes.

He turns to look at me. The candlelight on his face reflects, in icy radiance, an expression both hostile and derisive. He opens his mind and draws me in, daring me physically to come closer.

But I keep my distance because what I feel emanating from him is both frightening and malignant.

There's nothing soft or loving or forgiving left in his heart or his attitude towards me. Those feelings are erased by the enormity of cold fury.

"You found him,” he says simply.

Only his eyes blaze with contempt, flashing the danger.

He's letting me into his thoughts to scare me, and it works.

Chapter Forty

Avery has the ability to stand so still one might think he was made of iron or steel, and at the same time radiate energy so great it stops your heart and freezes your ability to think or to feel anything except sheer terror. I felt it yesterday in the attic.

I feel it again now.

I have to fight it, calm myself, swallow back the fear and stop the pounding of my blood. He may be older than I am, but I've proven myself with Donaldson and Williams. I have used the knowledge passed to me through Avery's own blood, and I can do it again.

He smiles as he reads all this in my thoughts and interprets the rigid bearing of my body. “You are ready to fight me."

It's not a question, nor is it a simple statement. He's making a joke, laughing at my audacity. The fact that he's chosen to vocalize this emphasizes his contempt for the presumption.

If I have to. I want you to explain why you did it. You knew how important David is to me. My house was a thing, you took that without a second thought, but David is a person—a human being. You had no right—

Before my eyes register the movement, before I can move away, he's come around the table and is standing so close, I feel his breath on my cheek. “Don't speak to me with your mind. You are so tied to mortals, you denigrate the vampire heritage. Use your voice, it's all youhave a right to."

He's leaning over me, his mouth at my neck. He's gnashing his teeth as if fighting to keep from tearing my throat out. I have to wonder why he doesn't.

He pulls back an inch. “I thought you wanted answers. You've given me a great deal of pleasure in the last few days. I will tell what you want to know before you die. But,” he leans in again, “first, you must tell me. Where did you take David?"

Now it's my turn to let the anger come through. Stubbornly, I send my thoughts out to him. He is safe. And protected. You can't get to him no matter what happens to me.

"Oh you think not?” His hands encircle my waist, pull me close. “I will take the information I need. I will take it with the last drop of your blood."

Every nerve in my body tenses. The adrenaline turns my blood to fire as I prepare to fight. Then I remember Williams. I clear my mind, center myself, let my muscles relax for just the instant it takes to catch Avery slightly off guard. He expected me to lunge or jerk away, instead, I lean in toward him and bring my hands up to rest on his chest. Before he can react, I use every ounce of strength to hurl him away.

He flies back, crashing into one of the wooden patio chairs dotting the pool deck. It splinters under his weight. His eyes widen, then flash. Suddenly, he's on his feet again, a movement so quick it's like an illusion. One second he's on the ground, the next he's coming toward me.

"Very good. I see how you got the better of Williams. Well, I won't make the mistake of underestimating your strength again. Let's see if you are as mentally powerful."

He stops a foot from me, and without warning, his eyes change. I watch transfixed as the pupils elongate, like a cat's, and the color loses depth and becomes translucent. He's using them to bore into my head, to fill my mind with numbing pain that roots me to the spot. I can't even lower my eyelids or raise my hands to ward it off. It's like a laser cutting into my thoughts, seeking out the information and excising it with white-hot efficiency.

Then it stops.

Avery smiles. His eyes morph back into human ones. “Beso de la Muerta. Very resourceful."

No.

"And you've enlisted the help of Culebra. Well. He may prove to be a formidable adversary. But not an insurmountable one."

Leave David out of this.

He starts to circle. “Leave him out? He's the reason I've lost you. I should have simply killed him and been done with it."

Then what? Would you have gone after my parents next, and Max?

"If necessary. Frankly, I thought by this time you would have realized that mortals are food to us, like cattle, nothing more. I chose David to make the point because he is a friend, not a blood tie or an involvement. Once he was out of your life, you could move on.

He seemed the most expendable."

Expendable?

"An object lesson. You would have grieved for him, but that would have passed. Like your home, another tie to your life as a mortal would have been removed. Just as you came to me after your confrontation with the Revengers, and again after the fire, you would have turned to me for solace, and I would have reminded you how temporary human attachments are. I told you once before, it's a lesson best learned at the beginning."

And then I would have been all yours.

"You were all mine. You needed very little persuasion to fall under my spell."

He's still circling, toying with me again like a cat with a mouse, projecting a smug haughtiness that lets me know how insignificant I had proved to be in the scheme of things.

Your spell? Was it a trick, then? The way you made me feel?

He snorts and throws up a hand. “Spell? Merely a turn of phrase. I needed no spell to win you. You are a very sexual woman, Anna. I introduced you to the most pleasurable coupling of all—the mingling of body and mind and blood—and you responded.

Why do you think I chose David and not Max? I knew with Max it would be only a matter of time before you found sex with him unfulfilling. Even if you fed from him, it would not be the same. David, on the other hand, holds you in the stronger grip of friendship. I needed to loosen that grip."

His words prick at my conscience because I know he is right. I wanted to believe Avery somehow worked a spell on me that I was powerless to resist. But the truth is, I found him the most exciting man I'd ever been with. Even now, the memory of how it felt sends an involuntary thrill up my spine.

He laughs at my reaction. “You see."

No. I can fight it. I must. I shake my head, willing the feelings to pass. He's misjudged me. Sex would never be enough to make me forget the rest of what he's done. And I would have found out, one way or the other. He should have let me choose my own path.

Avery picks up on my last thought.

"You sound like a whiny child,” he says with another wave of his hand. “'Let me choose my own path.’ Why would I? I've lived three hundred years on my own terms. I've always dictated what choices my consorts have, not the other way around."

That ignites a spark within me. “Which might explain why Marianna killed herself."

He reacts as if I'd slapped his face. He rears back, teeth flashing, eyes sparking with fury. “Don't mention her name."

Have I touched a nerve, Avery? What did you want Marianna to do that drove her to take her own life? Did you try to turn her? Did you force yourself on her like you did Dena? Did she refuse to let you take her blood?

Avery lunges at me, bending me back over the table before I can counter his thrust. “I grow weary of this conversation,” he hisses in my ear. “It's time to end it."

His teeth grab the skin just at my jugular and start to rip it away. I work an arm between his face and my chest and heave him back.

He doesn't fall completely away, but his body gives enough for me to leverage myself with one hand on his chin and the other on his chest. I push with all my strength, keeping those snapping teeth away from my neck. But I can't reach his neck, either, so we're caught in a macabre embrace.

Anna, look at me.

But I press my eyes shut. I know what he's trying to do.

No.

Open your eyes. You can't resist. You know that.

But I do resist, though I don't know how long I'll be able to hold him off. He's wearing away at my strength and resolve. He's in my head, telling me to let go, telling me how easy it will be and how peaceful when it's over.

No. I won't let him kill me.

I reach deep into myself and channel all my anger towards him for a final thrust. It's a feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach, a fury that gains momentum and power until it explodes outward. Suddenly, it's Avery, not me, bent over that table. I grab his arms and fling him onto the ground, bent on finishing it. He fights back, sending me flying off him and crashing into a chair. I feel it disintegrate into a hundred pieces beneath me. But before I can regain balance, he's on top of me, holding me down. His face moves closer, a smile twisting his mouth.

It would have been so good, Anna. I waited so long for a worthy companion. I reveled in finding you, in showing you what could be. I loved you. I loved you.

His anguish burns through me, first the love, then the hatred. It sears into my brain, cuts nerve endings and flays my flesh. I feel it stripping away. He isn't using his teeth, he isn't draining my blood. The intensity of his hatred peels my skin as if with a knife. I'm on fire. He wants me to suffer before he ends it.

Frantically, I feel around for something, anything, to use as a weapon. My hand closes around a wooden spool, the armrest of the chair I'm resting upon. I snatch it up, grasp it with both hands, and with a single motion, plunge it into Avery's back.

There's a moment when all time stops. Avery's face hovers above me, his eyes reflect surprise, then sadness. A pitiful howl erupts from deep inside him, and in the next instant, he's gone.

Chapter Forty-One

I don't know how long I lay there, alone, exhausted, afraid, the stake still clutched in my hands.

Finally, I hold up a hand before my face. I expect to see blood and exposed bone and sinew. Instead my arm is whole, unmarked.

It was a mind trick, the flayed skin, the burning.

It's over.

Avery is gone. Disappeared. As if he never existed. My heart thuds a dirge in the center of my chest. It could have been me.

Should have been me.

I can't figure out why it wasn't.

The answer comes from a now familiar voice.

Avery was careless. He underestimated you. And your loyalty to your friend.

I look around slowly, too weary to be startled. Casper?

Are you all right?

I gather strength, pull myself into a sitting position. My hand goes to my neck. There's some blood but Avery never got a real hold.

Thankfully. Where are you? Why don't you show yourself?

All things in time,he says enigmatically. I just wanted to be sure you were all right. Robert is out back with the car. He'll take you home.

Home. I shake my head sadly . I don't have a home.

Sure you do. Avery's place is yours now.

I sniff. I don't think so.

But it's true. You vanquished an old soul in defense of your own life. All his possessions are yours.

What if I don't want them?

Up to you. But before you dismiss it out of hand, think of how much good you could do with that kind of wealth. You could help a lot of people.

I have to think about that.

No rush. You have all the time in the world.

Chapter Forty-Two

I don't remember the ride to the loft or letting myself into David's or falling as if dead onto the couch. When I awaken, I simply find myself there, bone weary, despite having slept for ten hours. I drag myself into the bathroom, stripping off Avery's dress. Balling it up, I stuff the thing into the trash. Then I take a long, hot shower. Lately it seems I can't get the water hot enough. Still, even the scalding heat doesn't quite wash away the feel of Avery's hands on my body.

I'm not sure anything will.

After, I pull on the only clothes I can find in David's room that fit—a pair of Gloria's designer sweats and a Raider sweatshirt—and haul myself down to the garage to get the Hummer.

Max is sitting by David's bedside when I get to Beso de la Muerta. I'm not even that surprised to see him. After what I've been through the last few days, it will take a lot to surprise me from now on.

David is asleep, tubes still attached, but his breathing is deep and regular.

Max reads the question in my eyes and says, “He's going to be all right. The doc says he'll be out for another day or two, but when he awakens, he'll be as good as new."

He gets up and puts an arm around my shoulders. “Culebra told me you've had quite a time of it."

I don't respond to that, I don't know how. Instead I ask, “What are you doing here?"

He gives me a kiss on the forehead. “I guess you haven't had a chance to see a paper in the last couple of days. The operation is over. I'm just here to clean up a few loose ends."

"And you know about this place?"

He nods.

" Allabout this place?"

He shrugs. “If you mean do I know that there are some rather interesting specimens that occasionally use Beso de la Muertaas a hideout, the answer is yes."

I'm wondering if he's going to ask me how I found out about it when Culebra joins us.

He bends at the waist in a little bow toward me. “Anna. How nice to see you. I explained to Max that you followed Donaldson down here and that David was injured trying to apprehend him. I'm afraid it's probably the last we've seen of that one."

I send him a quick thank you, which he acknowledges with a smile. Then I turn to Max, “So, you two were working together?"

"Culebra has helped us on several projects."

"Only, of course, when Max's interest doesn't conflict with mine,” Culebra adds.

"Of course,” Max responds. Then he gestures toward David. “I have to get back to San Diego. Will you be staying here with David?"

"For a little while. I'll bring him home as soon as he can travel."

He touches my cheek. “I heard about the fire. Where are you living?"

"At David's for now. Then, I'll probably move home with my folks until the cottage is rebuilt."

He nods and after exchanging a few words with Culebra in Spanish, he kisses my cheek and is gone.

Culebra raises an eyebrow at me. “You aren't staying at—” he starts to say “Avery's,” then corrects himself, “Your other place?"

I shake my head. “I don't think I could stand to be there. I don't know what I'm going to do about that yet.” I narrow my eyes and look hard at him. “How do you know so much? Are you reading all that in my head?"

He laughs. “It's a blessing and a curse."

"Do you really think David will be all right?"

"He'll be fine. He won't remember anything that happened to him at Avery's. You'll have to come up with a story about how he was injured. Other than that, you'll have your friend back good as new."

"Maybe it would be better if I took him home before he fully regains consciousness. I don't know how I would explain it if he woke up here."

Culebra nods. “Come back tomorrow afternoon. He will be able to travel then."

"You're sure?"

He taps the side of his head. “I'm always sure."

Must be nice.

I start to go and then I remember. I owe you a favor.

He smiles. I haven't forgotten. And there's no hurry to collect, now, is there?

No, I guess there isn't.

Afterword

David did recover and just as Culebra predicted, didn't remember anything of his kidnapping or the ordeal in Avery's hidden room.

I made up a story about his getting bumped by a car while we were chasing Donaldson. I told him he fell and hit his head on a curb, joked with him that it was becoming a habit. He accepted it grumpily, especially when the “insurance” check came from the errant driver.

Williams had a miraculous recovery from his “stroke,” too, on the same evening, coincidentally, that Avery was killed. We haven't spoken yet, though he has tried to get in touch with me. I'm not ready to face him yet. But I will be. He has answers I need.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my “inheritance.” I've closed the house for now. The hospital thinks Avery has taken a sabbatical after long years of dedicated service. They were notified of his decision via computer. They were understandably sorry to see him go, but knew he could use a rest. He had done good work for the hospital, regardless of the reason, and that's the way he will be remembered.

I let Dena go with a healthy severance check from my own account. She was neither relieved nor disappointed. I told her what she could do to rid herself of the bite marks, but I'm not sure she'll do it. She didn't ask me for help and I didn't offer. In spite of how she acted around me, I have the feeling Avery was right. She found life with him exciting.

I also don't know what direction my life will take now that I'm on my own. David and I are back at work. He thinks nothing has changed. And so far, it hasn't. So far, the hunger hasn't hit.

But I know it will. It's my nature now. Casper “drops in” every now and then and assures me I will be able to handle it. I have so many questions for him, but he won't reveal himself. I don't know why. After what happened with Avery, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I'm not strong enough yet.

In a few days, though, it will have been a month since I last fed.

The hunger is coming.

I feel it.

I can only hope Casper is right.