Текст книги "Rome"

Автор книги: Jay Crownover

Соавторы: Jay Crownover
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“It wasn’t my secret to tell. Remy lived his life the way he wanted on his terms. I didn’t agree with it, with the secrets and sneaking around, but it wasn’t my place to force the issue. He was happy, he was in love, and he didn’t need or want you and Rule to interfere, even if it would have been with good intentions. As for being with Rule …” She met my gaze head-on and unflinchingly. “I’ve loved him forever and you knew it. I earned him, Rome. I earned the right to be happy with him and to make him happy. I won’t apologize for it, ever. I’m sorry the change is hard for you to adjust to.”

The waitress chose that moment to put our plates down on the table. We stared at each other in a long silence for a moment before my pounding head and empty stomach couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m just trying to figure it out, little girl. Everyone let Rule muddle his way to something great, why can’t I have a little leeway until I get there?”

She finally gave me a grin that lit her entire face up. I really did love this girl and missed having her in my life.

“Leeway I can do. The total freeze-out, angry giant you’ve been lately, I’ve had enough of.”

“Captain No-Fun.” She laughed and looked at me questioningly. “Cora calls me ‘Captain No-Fun.’”

“She tends to call it like she sees it. I like that about her.”

I scratched the stubble on my chin and tried to keep my face impassive. “She seems to be full of surprises.”

She lifted her fork and pointed it at me. “How do you know? When have you ever hung out with her?”

Now, that wasn’t a question I wanted to touch with a ten-foot pole, so I decided to change the subject.

“Were the folks pissed you canceled Sunday Funday?”

She blinked at me in surprise. “A little. It’s not that uncommon. Rule and your mom still have a rough time of it and sometimes he’s just not in the mood to go. They both try and I guess that’s all you can ask for, but it’s hard. They miss you. They ask about you all the time. Everyone is so happy you made it home in one piece.”

This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have either, but it seemed less torturous than talking about my morning with Cora or how well I did or didn’t know the blond dynamo.

“I came back in one piece physically, not so sure the same thing can be said for my head.”

She frowned at me in concern as I pushed my now-empty plate away and picked up the coffee.

“What do you mean?”

I slumped back in the booth and twirled a finger around my temple like I was nuts. “My brain goes wonky. I see things that aren’t there, I can’t sleep so great, and I feel like people around me keep dying and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do with myself now that I’m not in the army, and it’s making me crazy. I don’t really recognize myself anymore.”

She made a little noise in her throat and reached across the table to put her much smaller hand over my own where I had involuntarily curled it into a fist on the tabletop. I could say over and over again I was mad at my mom and dad for lying to me, for making Rule’s life miserable, but the truth of the matter was I didn’t know that I could handle them looking at me like they didn’t know who I was anymore. I was so far gone from the son, the soldier they had seen last time I was home, I didn’t know what it would do to me to have them look at me like I was a stranger.

“Rome.” Shaw’s voice was soft and I couldn’t meet her gaze. If there was pity, sadness for me shining out of it, it would just kill me. I was so used to protecting her, to offering her advice and comfort, that the idea that she had to do it for me now slid under my skin like an icy splinter. “I’m looking right at you and see the guy that was always a wonderful brother, an amazing son, and the strongest, most self-aware guy I have ever known. You’re amazing and maybe you’re struggling right now, but seriously Rome, you’ve had to be strong for your entire life, haul around everyone else’s crap, it’s okay to put it down for a minute and let the rest of us carry the burden.”

I looked back up at her and had to gulp down the clog of emotion that rose in my throat. I couldn’t answer her, so I just gave her fingers a little squeeze to let her know the sentiment was welcome. My brother was one hell of a lucky guy to have this amazing girl be so gone for him. I thought I was off the hook when I pulled out my wallet to pay for the bill but it was easy to forget that Shaw was smart as a whip and rarely forgot anything.

“So what did you mean before when you said Cora was full of surprises? I didn’t think you guys really knew each other that well.”

I wanted to groan. “Nothing. I didn’t mean anything by it. She’s cute and says whatever she wants, she’s just surprising is all.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You know we’re really close, right? And anything she doesn’t tell me, Ayden will.”

Damn it, I forgot about the way girls were all so chatty and in each other’s business all the time.

“I got plowed last night.”

“Obviously.” Her dry tone surprised a laugh out of me.

“I gave the bartender my phone to call Rule to come get me but he called the shop and Cora answered. Since he was busy with the water heater and Nash was AWOL, she came and got me. She made sure I didn’t kill myself or anyone else. I just was surprised she cared enough to do it because I don’t think I’m her favorite person.”

Shaw regarded me solemnly for a minute. I had to fight hard not to squirm like a guilty little kid.

“There’s more to her than meets the eye.”

Hell yeah, there was but I wasn’t going to say anything about it.

“She was engaged a while back. The guy broke her heart and now she has all these delusions about meeting some picture-perfect guy and living happily ever after. She meddles in all our lives, doles out advice, and sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong time and time again, but won’t listen to any of us when we tell her she’s reaching for something that doesn’t exist. It just sucks because more often than not she’s right and we should have listened to her all along, so it’s no wonder she blows us off. Honestly I think she’s terrified of letting anyone close enough to break her heart again.”

I shrugged and started to slide out of the booth. “Nothing wrong with reaching for the stars.”

“There is when what’s available is only here in the ground level. I love Rule with everything I have, but he is far from perfect. Relationships are not tailor-made and people are flawed. You have to work around that and love the other person anyway. Our flaws are what make us unique, and while Rule might not be perfect, he is absolutely perfect for me.”

I wrapped an arm around her neck and gave her a quick hug that had her squealing. Something warm and familiar settled in my chest when I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug. I missed this and it was my own stupid fault.

“I missed you, little girl.”

I felt her exhale against my chest and her hug tighten just a fraction. “I missed you, too, Rome. I’m so glad you’re back.”

I wasn’t a hundred percent back, but for some reason my eyes felt more open, and I had a clearer view of what I had been missing lately. Shaw was right. I had always been a pretty steady guy, a reliable son, a steadfast older brother. I was still all those things but now I was other things that weren’t so pretty, were harder parts to accept. However, the people in my life that loved me would always love me even if they had to do it in a different way now, and that made me a lucky guy. I needed to stop taking things like that for granted and, just like Cora said, stop feeling guilty for being one of the lucky ones.

CHAPTER 7

Cora

It had been a week since I let my inner slut out. A solid week that I hadn’t thought of Jimmy and the upcoming wedding one single time, let alone done any Facebook stalking. It had also been a week that I walked on eggshells waiting for the Terrible Trio to lay into me, to grill me about the overnight visit with big brother, but it never came. Apparently the idea that Rome and I could be anything but mortal enemies was laughable, and aside from the third degree I had to suffer from Ayden and some curious looks from Shaw, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Now, had they known that I let it go from babysitting a blacked-out drunk to something else entirely, that might have been a different story. It sucked because I couldn’t get the something else entirely out of my mind no matter what I did.

Rome had stopped at the shop once to drop off Nash’s cell when he forgot it at home and another time to ask Rule if he would come and help strip the floors at that dive bar he seemed to be spending all his time at. On both occasions he had been achingly polite and totally normal. There was no hint of anything inappropriate or even flirtatious. He acted like we had never been naked together, let alone screwed each other’s brains out, and it irked me to no end. Especially since every time I saw him I was reminded just how out-of-this-world hot he was. It wasn’t fair. Granted I had been the one to deny that the act meant anything other than scratching an itch, but it rubbed me the wrong way that he seemed so blasé and unaffected by it. I responded by being even more flippant and sarcastic than normal. It didn’t seem to bother him at all.

I was at Cerberus after a particularly long day at the shop having drinks with everyone and waiting for Jet’s band to play. It was a typical Saturday night except for the fact that instead of having fun with my friends, I was busy trying not to watch Rome and the chick in leather pants who was practically dry-humping him at the table. I knew it shouldn’t bother me, we weren’t even friends really, but it was taking every ounce of restraint I possessed, which wasn’t a lot to begin with, not only to keep from screaming at him, but to keep from murdering the chick with her own tacky necklace. To Rome’s credit, he didn’t look like he was interested in what the girl was throwing at him, but he sure as hell wasn’t pushing her away either. I wanted to dump the pitcher of beer in front of me over both of them.

“What’s up, cranky pants?”

Rowdy’s amused voice broke through my dark musings and I tore my gaze away from Rome to look at him. Jet had dragged Ayden off backstage with him saying something about how she needed to see the bathroom here as well; Shaw and Rule were deep in conversation with Nash about Phil, nobody had seen or heard from the shop owner in over a week and everyone was concerned. Rome was busy with Catwoman, so that left me and Rowdy alone at the table. There were way worse drinking partners to have, but at the moment I didn’t need those perceptive ocean-blue eyes picking me apart.

“I’m not cranky, just tired. It was a long day.”

He lifted a blond eyebrow and picked up his pint of Coors Light. “You’ve been off all week. Quiet. That’s not normal.”

I just shrugged and hoped silence would make him drop it, but then the girl with Rome threw back her head and let out a loud laugh that had me biting down on my tongue to avoid creating a scene.

“There is no way he said anything that funny. I don’t even think he has a sense of humor.” I was aware I sounded snarky and mean but I couldn’t seem to help it.

Rowdy stretched one of his arms out along the back of my chair and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck. I sighed a little when he started to rub some of the tension out of the muscles.

“You wanna tell me what’s really going on or do you just want me to jump to my own conclusion, which is probably right anyway?”

I scowled at him and looked back at Rome and the leather-clad bitch. I couldn’t hold back the tiny snarl that formed when I saw her tuck her fingers under the edge of the leather belt he had on.

“It’s possible, I mean highly likely, that I think big brother Archer is a total babe.”

Rowdy laughed. “No kidding.”

I elbowed him in the side and rolled my eyes. “It’s also entirely possible that said babeness is hard to resist, and I may or may not have let his sleepover get out of hand.”

The gentle rubbing stopped and he let out a low whistle. I looked up at him and frowned when I saw that he was frowning right back at me.

“What?”

“That’s just surprising and kind of messed up.”

“Why? You guys do it all the time.”

“Not with anyone the rest of us are related to. We like to get away clean.”

I elbowed him in the ribs again. “Pig.”

“If it was just a onetime thing then what’s with the death glare you’re giving the brunette that’s all up on him?”

I heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. Rome was not on my agenda, he was not what I was looking for, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all his imperfections. That wasn’t good. I put my chin on my hand and looked at Rowdy.

“Don’t you get lonely? Rule’s with Shaw, Jet went and got married, for Christ’s sake. Don’t you look around and wonder when it’s your turn? I know you well enough to know that the endless girls, the one-night stands, are what they are. You could do without, but if the right one came along you would be all over her.”

He laughed without any humor and leaned back in his chair. When the waitress came by he ordered us a round of Jäger shots.

“The right one came along forever ago, only I wasn’t her right one, so now it is what it is and I’m just killing time.”

I blinked at him in surprise. He never really talked about his past much. I knew he grew up in the system in Texas, that he used to play football, and that he had left the game and college unexpectedly and decided to tattoo instead, but that was really it.

“So you don’t think there’s anyone else after that? You’re just going to spend the rest of your life going girl to girl and being alone?”

It made me think of Jimmy, of the life I thought I was supposed to have by now. I had invested everything in him, had thought he was my everything, and now I wasn’t so sure. Nothing had flipped me upside down the way the pain and passion that burned in Rome’s bright blue eyes had. I wasn’t a person affected by a lot, but he affected me, no doubt about it. He was about as steady and secure as a tropical storm, though, and that made him more than a little dangerous to my sense of what was right for me.

“For now it’s all about a good time and eventually someone will come along and I’ll be her one, and if I’m lucky I’ll like her well enough that that’ll be enough to make it work. I don’t think that idiot you left behind in New York was ever your one and only, Tink. I think you were young and tired of being bounced around by your dad, so you latched on to the first steady thing you could find. You thought Jimmy was going to be your family, your home, and when that didn’t happen you ended up lost and scared. I think you’ll know it when your one comes along, because perfect or not, he’s going to knock you sideways and maybe for once shut you up and you won’t have time to be scared anymore.”

I didn’t respond when his gaze flicked to where Rome was standing. Crap. I tossed back the shot and made a face at him.

“You suck.”

“Only when asked nicely.” We shared a laugh and I looked up in surprise when a shadow fell over the edge of the table. I hated that I had to crank my neck back to look up at Rome. The scar on his forehead stood out in stark relief in the dim light of the bar. A muscle was twitching in his cheek and his normally iridescent eyes seemed kind of cloudy and dark.

“Can you tell Rule and Shaw I’ve had enough? I’m gonna bounce.” He sounded gruff and looked irritated at something. His leather limpet was nowhere to be seen.

“Enmity hasn’t even played yet.” Why I told him that I had no idea. Obviously the band hadn’t gone on stage yet. I was just being snippy and argumentative.

He narrowed his eyes at me and opened his mouth then shut it again like he had to rethink what he was going to say. He gave his head a tiny little shake like he was marshaling his thoughts.

“I’ve known Jet since he was a kid. I’ve seen him play a thousand times. I’m trying really hard not to drink, and if I stick around here one more second, that isn’t going to be possible.”

We stared at each other in silence. I didn’t know if I should take that as he shouldn’t drink anymore to avoid making mistakes like the one he made with me, or that he needed to stop drinking because he was out of control and it wasn’t helping matters.

Rowdy ordered us another round of shots and I saw Rome’s jaw clench. I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I defaulted to my usual glib manner.

“Captain No-Fun strikes again.”

I saw his dark brows lower and felt Rowdy tense next to me. It was rude and it was uncalled for, but before I could apologize, he put his hands on the table in front of me and bent down so that we were face-to-face. There was a storm brewing in that blue gaze and I didn’t think I wanted any part of it, or maybe I wanted to be the cause of it and that was why I was acting so awful.

“Pretty sure you know what my idea of a good time is. I’d be happy to remind you in case you forgot.”

My breath got caught in my throat and I saw Rowdy shift uncomfortably next to me.

“No thanks. I think Catwoman wants a turn.”

He sneered at me and started to walk away throwing over his shoulder, “You would know that there’s more than enough to go around, Half-Pint.”

It took me a second to catch my breath after he was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to watch and see if the brunette ended up leaving with him or not. Rowdy let out another low whistle.

“Dude, I didn’t think I would ever see the day anyone got the last word with you. Totally sideways.”

I ignored him and picked my beer back up. I couldn’t do this with Rome. Couldn’t run him off, these were his friends and family, too. I couldn’t be bitchy to him just because I was jealous and envious that his hotness was undeniable. I was going to have to put on my big-girl panties and have a showdown with him, have the talk that I really didn’t want to have and clear the air. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with him exactly, but there was something in all the messed-up ways we were around each other I didn’t think we could ignore. But first I was going to drink all the Jäger in Colorado and try to block out the image of that leather-clad skank with her paws all over him. I also was going to steadfastly avoid the knowing looks Rowdy kept shooting at me; either that or I was going to punch him in the nose.

The next morning I was feeling a little rough, but it was totally manageable, especially since all I had to do was throw on a cute sundress, slime some product in my hair, and slick some gloss on and be good to go. Short hair rocked. My sundress was bright turquoise, the same color as my odd blue eye, and it had a big sunflower in neon yellow on the hem. It was bright and cheerful, so I figured no matter how grouchy Rome was, he wouldn’t be able to stay too mad in the presence of such an awesome summer dress. Plus it made my legs look great and made it appear that I actually had some cleavage.

When I pulled up to the Victorian, Nash was coming down the front steps. He had stayed to shut the bar down with me and Rowdy, so he looked about as haggard as I felt. He had a ball hat pulled down low on his forehead and dark sunglasses covering half of his face. He pulled up short when he saw me and walked over to lean on the fender of the Cooper.

“What are you doing here?”

I tried not to fidget and pushed my own sunglasses up on my nose.

“I need to talk to Rome.”

I saw his eyebrows dip below the frames and the corner of his mouth turn down.

“Why?”

“Because I do. Leave it alone.”

“I told you it was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my bad idea, so back off. I just need to talk to him. Where are you off to so early?”

“I’m going to talk to my mother.”

I blinked in shock. It was no secret that Nash’s relationship with his mom and his stepdad was anything but rosy.

“Why on earth would you want to do that?”

“Because something is going on with Phil and I need help pinning him down. He’s dodging me left and right, so she’s my last resort.”

“Wasn’t Phil your real dad’s brother?”

He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. I could see even mentioning those dynamics made him uncomfortable.

“Yeah, but ever since I was little, I mean long before I even understood that my dad took off, Phil has been unable to tell my mother no. She says ‘jump,’ he asks her what river she wants him to leap into. It’s weird but I figure she’s the only way to get some answers.”

I patted his bicep and moved toward the front of the apartment they shared. “Good luck with that, it sounds like a whole lot of no fun.”

“He’s not here.”

I pulled up a step and looked back at Nash over my shoulder. Unbidden visions of Catwoman and her hands in Rome’s pants flew through my head. I didn’t like the way that they made my stomach drop at all.

“He didn’t come home last night?” I could hear the dissatisfaction in my tone and clearly it wasn’t lost on Nash because he scowled at me.

“No, he was here when I got home. Alone. He just doesn’t sleep so great, ya know? He was up really, really early. I think he went running or something. You want me to let you inside so you can wait for him?”

I nodded. I needed a cup of coffee and a second to formulate what I wanted to say to Rome.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Cora. Rome isn’t the kind of guy you can just manipulate and twist around your cute little finger. What happened to holding out for Mr. Perfect?”

I made myself at home in the small kitchen and pulled my sunglasses off to set them on the breakfast bar that separated the very masculine living room from the even more manly kitchen.

“Stop being such a worrywart, I just want to talk to the guy.”

He headed back toward the front door but his words stayed with me after he shut it behind him.

“Talking with you is what normally gets people into the most trouble.”

I appreciated that the guys were worried about me. I didn’t have the best track record with disappointment and boys, and I had been going on for a long time about my perfect man. They all knew I was after a guy that seemed rock solid, that wasn’t carrying around a truckload of emotional baggage, that came across happy and set with his lot in life. They knew I was ready for a guy who wanted to promise me forever and a future that was as bright and shiny as I tended to be. I wanted the happy-ever-after that Rule had given Shaw and the peace of mind that Jet had given Ayden. I wanted a partner and someone who was ready to travel the long, twisting road of commitment with me.

It made sense that they could all see that Rome was almost the exact opposite of what I had been describing, so they were just trying to save me from more unnecessary heartache because by now it was obvious he was getting to me. I just didn’t know if my idea of what I was holding out for was a viable option anymore. There was something happening between us—more than chemistry, more than wistful longing, and more than a little crush. I knew when a plan was falling apart. I had seen my first plan of a life with Jimmy go up in smoke and now I could see the idea of Mr. Perfect, this fictional ideal I had built up in my head, start to tatter under the force of everything that was Rome Archer. It didn’t matter that he seemed to be as lost as a child in the dark, that his baggage was heavier and harder to handle than most, or that he couldn’t even see his tomorrow, let alone a future with someone else. I wasn’t sure I was ready to fully let go of the dream just yet; only Rome was standing in the way of me getting my hands on it anymore. I couldn’t ignore that something was happening between us and it was time to stop being scared and find the answers to exactly what that something was.

I heard the front door open and heavy footsteps make their way toward where I was in the kitchen. I was rinsing off the dishes in the sink, mostly because I needed something to do with my hands, but also because they looked like they had been there for a while. Gross.

“What are you doing here?”

The tone was not nice. There was no welcome, none of the flirty and teasing he normally tossed at me. It sounded like each word was having to fight its way out of somewhere deep in his chest and that they tasted bitter and sharp on his tongue. I wiped my hands on a dish towel and turned around to face him.

Holy hell. How was I supposed to have a coherent, grown-up conversation with the man when he was wearing only a pair of black track pants and an iPod holder wrapped around one bicep? His dark hair was even darker with sweat and all those muscles and planes that made up his amazing physique were standing out in stark relief since he wasn’t wearing a shirt and had clearly just put himself through some serious paces. That just wasn’t fair.

“The dishes. You’re welcome.”

He grunted and pulled the iPod off. He stepped past me to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. I tried not to drool in an obvious way when some of it missed his mouth and ended up running a damp trail over his chest. He just watched me with almost zero expression on his handsome, but obviously exhausted face.

“I was going to do them later this afternoon. I need to take a shower. I stink.”

I cleared my throat and leaned back against the sink. “I was hoping we could talk real quick.” And maybe he would go put a shirt on so I could form words and not sound like a moron.

He rubbed both his hands, hard, over his face and head and I noticed how really worn he actually looked. Those blue eyes were sort of faded and he had dark shadows resting underneath.

“Listen, Cora, I understand. I’m jacked up, you aren’t into it, whatever. It just messes with my already overworked mind when you tell me one thing and then look at me like you want to lick me all over like an ice cream cone in the same breath. I’m trying to figure my own shit out. I don’t have the mental fortitude or the patience to try and figure yours out as well. I just ran six miles on less than two hours of sleep. I need a shower and maybe if I’m lucky, a nap.”

He didn’t give me a chance to respond. He just turned on his sneaker and left me standing there gaping at him. For the second time in as many days, I was not only speechless but also left without being able to get a final word in. I hated it. The butt-head didn’t even give me the opportunity to apologize for being needlessly bitchy last night. I shoved off the counter and went down the hallway to the room at the back of the apartment. It was Rule’s old room when he had lived with Nash, so I knew that there was a bathroom attached.

I could hear the water running and he had the radio on somewhere in the room and it was playing Tom Petty. Oddly fitting, Rome totally struck me as a classic-rock kind of guy. His room was also neat as a pin. All those years in the military had obviously bred good habits into him. The big king-sized bed was even all made up. There wasn’t so much as a stray sock on the floor, but there also wasn’t much to define the space as his. The only personal effect that was visible was a black-and-white photo of a much younger Rome and the twins.

Rule looked like Rule, only without as much ink, and he was smiling, something he didn’t do much of until he and Shaw had figured their situation out. Rome looked tall and proud, every bit the protective older brother. And the other twin, Remy—it was crazy to see an exact replica of what Rule would look like as a typical guy—still beautiful, but so boring, so common.

I was lost in thought, staring at the photo, so I didn’t hear the water turn off. An arm shot out over my shoulder and picked the picture up. Startled I turned around and came face-to-face with Rome in a towel and that’s it. Man, this was turning into a total test of my self-control. Track pants were nice, a towel was better. He smelled clean but still looked annoyed that I was all up in his space.

“This picture has been everywhere I’ve been. I took it to basic. It went to Korea. It’s been to Pakistan and Iraq, and it just came back from Afghanistan with me. The people in it were always there to remind me what I was fighting for, who I was supposed to be keeping the country safe for.”

I put a hand to my throat and was surprised to find that his words had tears building in the back of my eyes.

“You’re lucky to have that kind of relationship with them.”

He snorted, and I had to try really hard not to reach out and snatch that tiny knot holding the towel up. I don’t know what it was about him that made my body take charge and my mind take a backseat, but it was potent and slightly unnerving. I had never been so overwhelmingly attracted to any man before, not even Jimmy.

“I thought so, too, only then I found out Remy was hiding a secret life, and that Shaw could do a better job taking care of Rule than I ever did.”

I cocked my head to the side and considered him thoughtfully. “What about you?”

He cut me a look and moved back across the room to his dresser. The backside view was just as nice as the front.

“What about me?”

“You always talk about how you fought for them, how you made choices for them. What about you? Who took care of you? Who fought to make the world a better place for you?” I asked the questions in shock, because I couldn’t really believe he didn’t realize how important he was and had always been to his brothers. Those blue eyes never wavered from mine.

“I think you’re trying to diminish all the things you were to Rule and Remy, and that’s not cool. Remy might not have been honest, but by all accounts he was in love and happy. And yes, Rule was a hot mess, but he managed to get it together when it counted, so you did your brotherly duty. It’s time to focus on your own life.”

He turned around to look at me, a T-shirt dangling from his hand. I took a deep breath and forced myself to focus on his face and not his naked chest, or the spot below his waist where that towel was hanging precariously below his belly button.

“Look, I need to apologize for being so bitchy last night. I think it’s cool that you’re trying not to drink anymore. Admirable even. Honestly, I was not a fan of the leather-clad bimbo and her hands all in your pants. It might have made me a little cranky, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”