Текст книги "S.O.B. "

Автор книги: J. C. Valentine

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

18

Four months later...

Despite being in the air for less than an hour, the plane ride back to Cincinnati was brutal, and the subsequent days that have passed since then haven’t been any kinder. I’ve had a lot of downtime to sit and think, but it’s given me time to reflect on my weeks spent in Chicago. I feel guilty. The last words I said to Levi were a deliberate blow designed to hurt him instead of what it should have been—a heartfelt goodbye.

My time in Chicago was never meant to last. That’s what I keep telling myself whenever I get nostalgic and revisit my memories there. I never expected to get attached to Levi again, but he has a way about him that is magnetic and undeniable. Even when I wanted to hate him, he somehow made me like him.

But it’s over now and there’s no going back. Now that I’m back at home, I’m content in knowing that I won’t ever have to return to Chicago again. Especially after the text my mother sent me.

It’s Monday morning and I’m lying in bed staring at my phone. I’ve read the text at least ten times, and I still can’t believe it. She’s leaving David. She already filed for divorce and the papers will be served any time.

Mom: Don’t worry about anything. I made sure you’ll be taken care of.

I don’t understand what she means exactly, but I assume she means financially. I know she’s just looking out for me, but I don’t want anything more from David Black.

I text back. Thanks but no thanks. I don’t need anything. Just take care of you.

Her response is immediate, as if she’s sitting there with her phone just like me. Just picturing the two of us connected over that distance makes me want to cry.

Mom:You’re my daughter. It’s my job to look out for you no matter how grown up you are.

My eyes begin to prickle as I read the message. I hate being so far away from her. It’s only a few hours’ drive away, but the divide feels massive today.

It’s been a hell of a couple months, to say the least. The moment I stepped off the plane and turned my phone off airplane mode, messages poured in. Most of them were from Levi, which I refused to read, and a good portion were from my mom asking me where I was, but the one that stood out most was from David Black.

My stepfather proved to me that day what a bastard he truly is. He wasted no time at all ensuring that I never returned to Chicago or Levi. According to him, if I entered the city again, it would effectively void our agreement and all the help he promised would cease immediately. I don’t know how he knew I’d left, but he did. What he didn’t know is that I have no plans to go anywhere near him, his son, or that city in the foreseeable future. And now that my mother is filing for divorce, I won’t have to.

David Black’s threat to tear me and my future apart nagged at me since the moment I stepped onto the tarmac. To get where I needed to be, I had to accept his help, but that didn’t last long.

The thing I’ve learned about David is that he has a serious God complex. He’s used to barking orders and getting his way. For some reason, he thought that without his support, I wouldn’t be able to pursue my dreams. But that’s the thing about dreams. If you want them bad enough, you’ll find a way to make them a reality. And I have.

The moment I saw a chance to get out from under his thumb, I jumped on it.

I used to wonder if it was a mistake not to take the Black name when my mother married David, but now I’m beginning to think it’s an asset. The Black name comes with strings, stigmas that can’t be easily outrun, but no one looks twice at the girl named Marquis. While the media runs wild with stories about the billionaire playboy who’s off winning games and stealing hearts, I’m here building the life I’ve dreamed of.

Putting out feelers in the medical community, I lucked out in finding someone willing to invest in my dreams. He’s some hot shot stationed in New York with too much money who wishes to remain a silent partner. At first, it felt kind of shady, but after meeting with his financial advisor and lawyer and combing through all the legalese, I decided to take a risk and go for it.

With this arrangement, I have all the seed money I’ll need to get the business up and running and hire all the help I’ll need to keep it moving in the right direction. The best thing about it is that I don’t have to rely on David. He can’t hold anything over my head because this is all me. The only stipulation with this investor was, as co-owner and shareholder, he gets a portion of the profits for a maximum of one year starting from the time the books register in the black. It seems a small price to pay.

Tomorrow is the grand opening of the Marquis Rehabilitation Center, and while I only have two patients added to the schedule so far, I have faith that the books will be packed with names before long.

It’s just as well that we’re not busy. Even with all my staff in place, there’s a ton still left to do. I’ve spent nearly every waking hour and then some unpacking and setting up equipment, but there’s only so much one person can do.

Chronic back pain and sleepless nights have led to a profound lethargy that I just can’t seem to kick. Which is to be expected when you’re in your second trimester.

I never told Levi about the baby, and I have no plans to. He hasn’t reached out to me in four months and I have no inclination to do so either. What we had was strictly for fun. Like he said, I needed to let go and live a little. Well, I did. Maybe a little too much. But I can’t say that I regret it. Not now that I have my little muffin on the way.

It’s going to be a tough journey. I never planned to be a single mother, but that’s what you do when you sleep with a man who’s physically and emotionally unavailable. The only person who knows about the pregnancy is my mother and she’s not spilling any secrets. It just sucks that she can’t be here with me right now. I’d love to have someone to talk to about all of this. Someone to share it with, but part of the reason I’ve been able to stay so far under the radar this long is because we agreed that she should keep her distance, at least until the divorce is final.

David is a ruthless son of a bitch. He’s trying to find any way he can to void the prenup and send her away with nothing. But my mom’s smart. All that time I thought she was sitting back, taking his prolonged absences in stride, when in reality, she was building a case. The private detective she hired dug up a lot of interesting information that I’m sure David Black would pay a pretty penny to keep buried.

As long as my mother gets a fair shake and the media doesn’t come knocking on my door, then I’m happy to wash my hands of it all. That’s not my life anymore. It never was.

I’m kneeling on a blue mat spread out on the floor of the main training room where most of the rehab equipment is housed, doing cat stretches to alleviate some of the cramping in my lower back, when a knock on the door breaks my concentration.

“What is it?” I ask as I continue arching my back. I can’t imagine going through another four months of this, and it’s only going to get harder when I start seeing patients and have to be on my feet all day. I’ll need to find another person to fill in for me before too long. It’s just another worry to add to the list of worries that I’ll deal with tomorrow.

“Miss Marquis,” Janey from reception greets me. “It’s almost nine. Do you want me to start shutting down for the night?”

Sighing, I drop back on my knees and rest my hands on the tops of my thighs. Janey stands just inside the doorway, looking as fresh and alive as she did when she arrived this morning. Not a hair out of place. I don’t think I ever looked like that a day in my life. I could easily be jealous of her, but she’s too sweet a person not to like.

“Go ahead and shut down everything but this room. I’m going to stick around a while longer and make sure everything is set for tomorrow morning.”

The skin between her pale blonde eyebrows creases into a frown but, I never knew it was possible, the look is somehow cute on her. “You’re going to be here alone?”

I wave her off. “I’ve done it a hundred times. I’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t look convinced. “I can stick around a little longer. What do you need help with?”

“That’s not necessary, Janey. Really, I’ll be okay.” I shoo her back toward the door. “You go on home and get some rest. I’m going to need everyone in their best form tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely positively. Now get out of here before I have to break out my mom voice. I’ve been practicing,” I warn her with a teasing grin.

She’s smiling as she waves and turns out of the room. Once she’s gone, I get back into position and resume stretching. It’s good to stay healthy and fit, especially now. All the books say it will help with labor and delivery and, boy, do I want all the help I can get.

Sometimes, when I’m alone like this, I find myself imagining what it could have been like. If I hadn’t left Chicago, if my mother had never married David, if Levi hadn’t turned his back on me four years ago. What would my life be like now? Would I still be preparing to have his baby? Would I be opening my own practice?

None of it matters anyway. There’s no way to turn back the clock and change history. It is what it is, and all I can do now is move forward and make the best of what life has given me.

I’m in the middle of stretching, dropping my spine and lifting my chin toward the ceiling when I hear the sound of shoes squeaking on the hard tiled floor heading my way. Janey must have finished up and is coming to check on me one more time before she goes. I love her to death, but the girl is a mother hen and sometimes it drives me bonkers.

“Before you ask,” I tell her, cutting her off at the pass, “yes, I’m staying and no, I don’t want you to wait for me. Go home, tell Rio I said hello, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Who’s Rio?”

Holy shit! Dropping my head, I scramble to my feet and turn to face the door. That voice...I’d know it anywhere.

Wearing a pair of snug black slacks that hug his thighs, a white button down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal his colorful tattoos, and a black silk vest left hanging open, Levi is dressed to kill.

My mouth waters at the sight of him and my heart kicks into overdrive, behaving as if no time at all has passed. Instantly, my body screams for contact, but my head is shouting at me that this isn’t real. It can’t be. Why the hell would Levi Black be here, in Ohio, standing in my place of business, looking like that?

“What are you doing here?” Last I checked, my mom said he’d had some kind of blow out with his father and disappeared. No one’s heard from him in days.

Casting his gaze around the room, Levi steps inside and slowly makes his way around, checking out the equipment. Stopping in front of a Pilates machine, he runs his fingers down one of the resistance cords. “I was in the neighborhood,” he replies, his voice smooth.

“In the neighborhood,” I muse. “And how does one just happen to randomly end up in Ohio? I thought you were off touring the country and winning more trophies.”

Turning on his heel, he leans up against the metal framing, shoving his hands into his pockets, and arches a dark brow. “I have, yes. Three trophies, in fact. If we win the next game, we’ll be in line for the Cup.”

I stare at him, unsure of the appropriate response. Do I congratulate him, the man who was just a few months ago telling me he wasn’t into it anymore, or kindly ask him to cut the bullshit and get to the point?

“That’s great, Levi. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” he says softly, and drops his chin to his chest. I frown, sensing the downward shift in his mood. He draws in a long breath and, pushing away from the machine, his eyes lock with mine as he slowly approaches. “It’s been a long time, Vista. Too long,” he murmurs as he stops directly in front of me.

All my defenses lower under the weight of his intense stare. When he lifts his hand to push back a strand of hair that has escaped my ponytail, a shiver of awareness tracks through me.

“Yeah,” I agree, my voice weak.

His bearded smile appears and I catch a hint of those dimples underneath, causing my heart to skip. “I’ve missed you. The house was too quiet without you there. It’s as if you took all the life with it when you left.”

Swallowing, I find myself leaning into his touch, absorbing the exquisite feel of his skin on mine like a woman starved for affection.

“I missed you, too,” I admit, and I swear it feels as if someone has stolen all the oxygen from the room.  “I shouldn’t have left like I did.” I lay awake at night sometimes thinking of all the things I should have done different, and sticking around long enough to talk it out tops the list.

A smile creases Levi’s cheek as he lifts a finger and taps it against the end of my nose. “I always said you were smarter than you looked.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a real son of a bitch?”

He chuckles and I glare up at him, annoyed that my comment appears to amuse him.

“A few times, but you’re the only person I’ve met whose mouth can make it sound dirty.”

I wonder if he’ll think it sounds dirty if I punch him in the gut. Immediately, I chastise myself for the thought. Levi inspires my violent side, and since I’ll be bringing another human being into the world soon, I have to get a grip on that. Even though I won’t be the one raising my child, I still want to be seen as a good mother while I can.

“So, I see you have your own practice now. How is that working out for you?”

“The grand opening is tomorrow morning, so we’ll see.” I draw back, needing some distance. If I weren’t pregnant, I could go for a stiff drink right about now. “So far, though, everything is going smoothly. As soon as I finish stocking the massage room, we’ll be ready to go.”

“Massage room?” Levi’s blue eyes twinkle with mischief. “You know, I have this kink in the back of my neck—”

“Hold that thought,” I chuckle, raising my hand in a stop motion. There’s no way in hell I’m going to rub any part of his body, regardless of how hot he looks. My gaze trails over him once more. Damn, he looks good. Like really, really fucking good.

I have to stop looking at him. It’s been far too long since I’ve been touched by anything other than my own hand and he’s dangerous for my libido, which has been on overdrive lately.

Just thinking about the reason for my raging hormones, my hands go to my stomach. It’s an automatic reaction, and I don’t even realize I’ve done it, until Levi’s eyes follow the movement.

In an effort to hide the pregnancy as long as possible, I’ve taken to wearing looser clothing. Generally speaking, I’m not big enough to show yet. Unless a person knows to look for it, the bump that just popped up last week is hardly visible. But I just drew attention to it.

“Levi,” I rush to say. “I can explain.”

His expression is unreadable, but if I had to guess what’s running through his head right now, it would probably be something along the lines of what the fuck!

“That you’re obviously pregnant?” Levi asks, his voice strangely calm. “There’s not much to explain. So, who’s the lucky guy?”

When his eyes meet mine, I see pain reflecting in them. Ah, so he thinks I’ve moved on, does he? A part of me considers letting him continue believing it. It would be so easy to lie. He’d be hurt, yes, but it’s not as if he doesn’t deserve a taste of his own medicine. A simple lie and I’d be rid of him for good. I’d be free to live my life, run my business, and decide what’s best for my child without interference.

I consider the future and what it would mean if I decided to go through with the lie. I’d spend the next eighteen years looking over my shoulder, wouldn’t I? For as long as Levi is in the media spotlight, I run the risk of being found out. All it would take is one misstep, one slip of the truth, and the secret of our relationship would be subject to scrutiny. Everything up to that point, all the hiding and the secrecy, would have been in vain. Not to mention, it’d be incredibly selfish and unfair to our child.

Which is why I know I can’t spin a tale. And maybe I don’t want to. This life I’ve chosen is shaping up to be a great one, but I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that there’s just something missing. Maybe that something is Levi. Even if we can’t be together, even if he’s moved on and no longer wants me, he still deserves to know the truth. He deserves to know he made a child, whether or not he’ll be there to raise it.

Looking at him now, I am once again floored by how handsome he is. Levi is far from average. He’s hot. I can’t believe I, someone so average, scored someone of his caliber, but I did and I will forever have a reminder of our time together.

Meeting his eyes, I inhale a steeling breath. It’s now or never. “You are,” I confess. “This is your baby, Levi.”

19

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This is not happening. I couldn’t have heard her right. Vista did not just tell me that she’s having my baby.

“So, what do you think?”

What do I think? Is she kidding me? “I need to sit down.” Before I pass the fuck out. I glance around the room, but all I see are giant fucking pieces of exercise equipment. Where are the benches? The chairs? Shit, I feel light-headed.

“Here, come sit on the mat.”

Vista takes my arm to guide me down, but I can’t feel a damn thing. It’s like my body doesn’t even exist anymore. Am I having a stroke?

“You’re looking kind of pale. I’ll be right back, okay?”

I don’t have the strength to respond. As I watch her go, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts ranging from how the fuck could this have happened to what the fuck am I going to do about it? There’s only one answer that makes sense here: I’ve officially entered the Twilight Zone.

Never in my life have I been irresponsible when it came to sex...until Vista came into my life. There is just something about the woman that makes me feel reckless, like nothing in the world matters except how much time I can steal with her. It’s been that way since the day we met. Not once did we use protection while she was staying with me. Not. Once. I knew better, and yet I did it anyway.

Is the kid mine? I’d love more than anything to deny it, but there’s no way she’d lie to me. Not about this. Vista isn’t that kind of woman. She’s never come after me for my money or what I can give her. She’s the truest person I know, so when she says it’s mine, I believe her. It’s just...holy shit! I’m not ready to be a father. I’m not father material. Not by a long shot.

My father was right. I’m an irresponsible dick.

I’m considering kicking my own ass when she walks back into the room carrying a paper cup in one hand and a stack of cookies in the other.

“Juice and a cookie,” she says as she offers them to me. “They’ll help raise your blood sugar so you don’t pass out on my floor.”

“I’m not going to pass out,” I mumble as I take a bite out of the cookie. It’s chocolate chip, one of those little hard circle kind from a package you buy at a grocery store. It probably has an annoying little elf on the front and everything. Normally, I prefer freshly baked, but I’m surprised to find that these don’t totally suck. I finish the thing off in two bites then hold out my hand for more.

“What?”

“I’m ready for another.”

Vista, munching on a cookie of her own, looks at me like I’m touched in the head. “Oh, you thought these were for you? No. Nope. These are all mine.”

I watch her devour a second cookie and start in on a third, surprised. “Didn’t your mother teach you how to share?” I ask, pretending to be appalled by her stingy behavior. In reality, I think it’s cute. I love that she’s still comfortable enough around me to tease me. That’s promising, right?

“I was an only child. I guess it spoiled me, but you should know something about that, right?” She tilts her head, a playful smile curling the corners of her lips up.

I narrow my gaze. I know she’s only playing, but damn. The fact that it’s true adds just enough of a sting to make me cringe. Does she have to put it like that? It’s damaging to a man’s ego. Not mine, of course, but other men, surely.

“Well, at least I still have this juice.” Bringing the cup up, I stop when it’s halfway to my lips and lift a sardonic brow. “Unless you brought this for you, too.”

“Oh, no. Juice gives me heartburn.”

Her comment reminds me of the little problem we’ve got going on. This time, the snack seems to keep me levelheaded, though, so any danger of kissing the floor is off the table. “Guess we were a little late on those condoms, huh?”

My attempt to infuse the situation with a little humor falls flat. There isn’t much that’s funny about getting hit with an unexpected pregnancy. With that thought, I toss back the rest of the juice.

“Heh, yeah. I guess we got a little carried away, huh?” I watch her rub her hand over her stomach, wincing when I see that tiny round bump beneath her loose fitting shirt, and I feel my blood pressure plummet all over again.

“How—” My voice catches and I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “How far along are you?” Maybe it’s not too late to fix this. Maybe we can still—

“Around five months,” she says, shooting that thought straight into the garbage. I may not avail myself of womanly crap too often, but I know enough about the reproductive process to know that we’re way beyond the point of fixing anything. We’ve crossed the point of no return.

“Are you freaking out?” Vista asks, looking at me with this mix of knowing and concern. “Because you look like you’re freaking out.”

“I’m fine.” I bristle at the question. Not because she means anything offensive by it, but because I realize that she expects me to throw a fit or walk away or, hell, maybe both.

I can’t say that I really blame her. As far as she’s concerned, my modus operandi has always been to cut and run when the going gets tough. To a degree, I suppose it’s true. I don’t form relationships with people beyond a night between the sheets because of this very thing. I don’t want attachments or commitment, and I definitely don’t need people depending on me for anything. I just want to live my life free of worry and obligations. I want my life to be mine, dammit! Is that so much to ask?

I feel like screaming and shouting and throwing things. This isn’t how I want my life to go. This wasn’t part of the plan.

Then why are you here? The voice in my head stops me cold.

I’m being a total dick, aren’t I?

After Vista walked out of my life for a second time, I was hurt. I didn’t know how to tell her everything that was going on inside my head, and I was certain she wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. She was upset with me, and rightfully so. I’ve spent the last four years regretting how I handled that night. The day after was even worse. Definitely not one of my better moments. I should have taken the time to explain to her what had happened between my father and me instead of using that random girl as a place card. I never should have left her to form her own conclusions. That look on her face when she saw us together still kills me to this day.

I never should have let my father tell me how to live my life.

That’s the part that pisses me off the most. It’s not that she did anything wrong. It was all me. I let my father use his weight and influence to shape my thinking, to inform my decisions. I was still too young and immature to have the balls to stand up to him and tell him what I wanted. I didn’t have it in me then to go after her. Instead, I forced her to walk away by hurting her.

Vista coming back into my life changed everything. It changed me. I found the courage to stand up to my father and take charge of my life. When our parents caught us in that pool and my father revealed the motive behind me leaving her back when we were teenagers, I was momentarily thrust back into my eighteen-year-old self, powerless to fight back. By the time I realized that I was letting old habits die hard, the damage had already been done.

Vista no longer trusted me. She looked at me like I was a stranger. All I saw was the hurt and anger inside of her, reminding me of that damn wedding all over again, and I buckled. How could I tell the woman I was falling in love with that I needed her to stay when all she wanted was to get away from me?

In the end, I had to let her go. I know my father better than anyone, and I knew that he was going to punish me for going against him. If Vista stuck around, she’d become part of that war. And I was right. After she left, my father went on a rampage. He told me exactly what he expected of me. He dictated my every move, where I went, who I spent time with. Everything. He had me heading back onto the field less than a week later like he promised.

I’ve been on it ever since.

I went along with whatever he wanted, too broken inside to function on my own. I was on autopilot, his puppet with strings. Until Lara, my stepmother, shook me from my self-imposed daze.

It was over dinner. Lara invited me over, and she was so hopeful, I couldn’t say no. The entire meal was tense, but not for a lack of conversation. David was all too eager to tell us about his deal with Vista and how she had cut ties with him. He mocked her ability to make it without his money and connections. Just the way he spoke about her, with that same condescending tone that he uses on me, pinched a nerve.

I knew Vista. She was one of the smartest people I’d ever met, and if anyone could be a success, it was her. Hell, she showed more courage throwing his money to the curb and venturing off on her own than I have my whole life. I couldn’t be more fucking proud of her. He thought she couldn’t make it? I decided right then and there to prove his smug ass wrong.

That night, while on a plane to Florida for my next game, I started pulling together a plan. I knew I couldn’t keep doing this. I needed to cut the bullshit, stop following my father’s edict, and extract myself from this life, to put distance between me and the man behind the wheel.

I’ve walked onto every field since then with my head held high and the knowledge that I was on my way toward an independent future—one free of David Black—driving me.

We haven’t lost a single game yet. Despite the rocky start, they’re calling it my best season and I have more endorsement offers and press coverage than I know what to do with, but I’m finding that I love it. Every damn minute of it. At one time I told Vista that I wasn’t sure I wanted to play anymore. I’d lost my passion for the game, but now I know that it wasn’t the game that was the problem. It was my father and his need to control every aspect of it. He’d set the bar so high that no man could reach it, and it’d sucked the fun right out of it.

Now, knowing that I’m working toward my freedom, I feel empowered. Now, I’m playing for me. I’m playing for the woman I love. And I’m playing for the little person who will one day look up to me.

With my plan in place, and with my buddy Vincent’s help, I figured out where Vista was. Not that she was hiding or anything. Since she’d never taken to using my father’s name and refused his money and business contacts, I knew she’d need help and David Black isn’t the only one who has connections. Then, by some stroke of luck, I heard that she was looking for someone to partner up with, giving me the in I needed. I saw my opportunity and, like any good businessman, capitalized on it.

Through a friend, I ponied up the money and ensured that she had the help of a private investor, providing her with a silent partner—me, in a roundabout way. I’ve always found her drive and determination impressive, but this venture has made her shine. She’s pushed through any and every obstacle that’s stood in her way. Sure, I may have greased the wheels a bit, but all the hard work was hers. I don’t know a lot about business, but I’ve never heard of a person accomplishing what she has in as little time as she’s done it in. That said, she’d have my balls if she knew I was behind it.

So why am I here? Arriving to that answer hasn’t been easy. I wasn’t lying when I told her that I was in the area, but Ohio is a big place, and the hotel I’m supposed to be staying at with the rest of my team is miles away. That didn’t keep me from hopping on my bike and driving through the better half of the day to see her though.

I questioned myself a dozen times on the way. But now that I’m standing here, with the question staring me in the face, I know I can’t outrun the truth any longer. I’m here because...

I love her.

I knew it the second she walked out the door. Three little words. They’re so simple, yet so unbelievably terrifying. I always told myself I’d never say those words. That I’d never let a woman get that close. But here I am, looking at the one woman who was always going to be the one. I knew it four years ago, and I know it now. The reason I held that part of myself away from the world was because it already belonged to her.

Vista Marquis stole a piece of my heart and soul that night in her bedroom and kept it prisoner all these years.

So I guess I am freaking out, as she put it. Just not in the manner she meant it. “I’m not sure how to react to all of this,” I confess to her, holding my head in my hands as I try to process everything. “I came here to...” I stall out, stumbling over the words in my head that I want to say. I settle with, “I just didn’t expect this.”

“Are you mad at me? Is that it?” she asks me, her voice small but hard, like she’s gathering her strength. “Because it takes two to tango, you know.”

I chuckle under my breath. She’s got a way with words that makes me smile. “You’ve had some time to get used to this. Give me a little time to get caught up, okay?”

She’s silent a moment, and then she nods her head in agreement. So reasonable. I gaze around at the rows of machines, all neat and tidy and ready for tomorrow. I can tell she takes pride in what she’s accomplishing, as she should. I’m proud just to be sitting here. This place is going to make a killing. But that’s not really what’s running through my head. It’s just a distraction for what’s going on beneath the surface, because there’s a question that I need to ask, and I don’t know if I want the answer.