Текст книги "Pandora's Daughter "

Автор книги: Iris Johansen

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"HOW IS HE?"

Megan turned to see Renata standing in the doorway of Phillip's hospital room. "Not good." She shrugged wearily. "Or maybe he's not so bad. They still have all kind of tests to make, but the specialists here don't believe his condition deteriorated irreparably while Molino had him. It's just that I was hoping Gardner was right and I'd be able to see some sign of him coming out of it."

"No luck?"

She shook her head. "But maybe it will come later. Who knows if Phillip understood anything about what was happening to him. Maybe he suffered some kind of shock that caused a setback."

"You're reaching, aren't you?" Renata asked gently.

Megan's hand tightened on Phillip's. Feel me, friend, know I'm here. Let's work through it together. "Yes. But hope can work miracles. I've seen it. It was a miracle that Davy got away from Molino without harm." She changed the subject. "Where are Grady and Harley? Still at Molino's place? Grady dropped me off and told me he was going back to join Venable. They're trying to gather information from Molino's files about the bandits and sleazebags Molino was working with."

Renata nodded. "Harley's there too. I told him to look for any records concerning victims. I need to find

Adia."

Megan had a poignant memory of that little pink dress belonging to the child. "Of course, we do." She paused. "I wanted to thank you for risking those pages of the Ledger to buy me time with Molino. I know it was difficult for you to give them up."

"No, it wasn't."

Megan stared at her in disbelief.

Renata smiled. "Well, it would have been difficult if they had been Ledger pages." Megan's eyes widened. "But you said they'd tested positive for antiquity."

"When I took over guardianship of the Ledger, I had Mark create two counterfeit ledgers. No genuine names or addresses, but the paper was treated to make it test positive for antiquity. I thought that maybe Edmund might not have died if he'd had something to give those bastards until he could find a way to escape." She shrugged. "I brought one of the copies with me when we left Munich in case I found a way to set a trap for Molino."

Megan had a sudden memory of how reluctant Renata had been to have anyone touch her suitcases. "You didn't tell us."

She grimaced. "We've already established I'm not good at sharing."

"Oh, I don't know. I believe you're getting the knack of it." She had a sudden thought. "I'm surprised the family hasn't put the Ledger on computer disk. Wouldn't it be safer?"

"It depends on how you look at it. Computer records are more readily accessible. If stolen they could be copied in five seconds and we might not know it was done in time to protect the family. Edmund started to try to put the records on a disk to be sealed away with the originals, but it's a nightmare process. The only person who has access to the ledger is the Keeper."

"That means it's up to you?"

She nodded. "I'll try to do it, but it's not high on my priority list. We can't scan it because it was handwritten by different people and there might be blurring and discrepancies. We have to destroy hard drives every time we make an entry to make sure no fragment of data can be retrieved. We can't trust the software that supposedly wipes them clean. And there isn't only one volume to the Ledger. The family has been growing for centuries." She made a face. "And I assure you that as the Keeper I have other things to do besides sit and enter data. It's enough that I'm able to do the entries into the original ledger."

"It does sound like a nightmare." Megan studied her face. "What if you'd had the real Ledger in that suitcase? Would you have used it?"

"No." She moistened her lips. "I'd like to tell you I would but I'd be lying. I couldn't do it. I care about you but I wouldn't take a—"

"Stop agonizing. It's okay, Renata," she said gently. "I wasn't backing you into a corner. I always knew that would be your priority."

"I'd have found another way. I wouldn't have let Molino—"

"You did find another way."

"But I always thought any decision connected with the Ledger would be simple, black and white. Nothing's black and white any longer."

"Good."

"Not for me. It's going to be much harder for me." She made a face. "And it's your fault. You've made me question things I've believed all my life." Her glance shifted to Phillip. "Was your life really worth the risk when you may never bring him back?"

"It was to me. I love Phillip."

She shook her head. "No reason. Just emotion."

Megan smiled. "And you're all reason and no emotion. At least, you try to be. But you're slipping, aren't you?"

"I'll get back on the right track." She moved across the room to stand beside Megan. "I have to go. Mark called me and said that it would be smart to fade away into the sunset. Too many people know that I'm connected to the Ledger now."

"Only the CIA."

"The CIA is composed of people with opinions, ambitions, and their own agendas."

"You don't trust them."

"I don't have the right to trust them. The Ledger is more exposed to threat now than it has been for hundreds of years."

"And it has to be protected."

"You don't understand that?"

"I understand that you have a right to your life too."

"I'm not going to give up my life. I'll just have to make adjustments." She paused. "Like you're going to have to do. You're a Listener. Every now and then you'll hear your voices and have to choose to ignore or try to help as you did Edmund."

"I don't want to think about that now."

Renata was silent. "Then think about being a Pandora."

Megan shook her head emphatically. "I told you, Molino was nuts. He wanted Sienna dead and constructed a scenario that would agree with his fantasies."

"Harley said Molino was scared shitless when you threatened to touch him at the cliff."

"It was the only weapon I had." She smiled mirthlessly. "And he was out of his head. It was fitting that he killed himself because of his own delusions. It was almost as if my mother was finally able to get her revenge."

"And you're sure you're not building your own scenarios?"

She stiffened. "I'm being practical and reasonable. You of all people should appreciate that." Renata squatted beside her chair. "Megan," she said gently. "We need to talk."

GRADY MET MEGAN WHEN THE helicopter landed on the landing pad at Molino's place two hours later. "What's wrong? I told you that I'd join you as soon as I—"

"She couldn't wait." Renata got out of the pilot's seat and jumped to the ground. "I tried to tell her that a few more hours wouldn't—"

"Renata, I may have found a lead on Adia." Harley was walking toward them. "Venable is being very close with those records, but there's a big file Molino kept that was cross-referenced with Hedda Kipler's activities. You said that she brought Molino that dress as a trophy?"

"Right."

"Well, if Grady can pry those records away from Venable, I may be able to trace—"

"Later," Megan said curtly. "Come with me. I don't want to be stumbling over any of Venable's men." She turned and headed for the small utility shack a few yards from the helicopter pad. She turned on the bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling of the shack. "I want this over quickly."

"Phillip?" Grady said gently. "He didn't make it?"

"He's still alive. If you can call that coma being alive. But that's not why I'm here."

Grady's gaze was narrowed on her face. "You're excited. You're tense but I can practically feel the– What's happening?"

"Something good for a change." Her hands were opening and closing at her sides. "Renata, do it."

But Renata already had her shirt unbuttoned. She slipped the bra straps off her shoulders. "It's a good thing I have no false modesty. I'm getting a little tired of—"

"My God," Grady whispered.

Megan took a step closer and touched Renata's shoulder. "No wound. No scarring. The skin is smooth as silk. It's as if she'd never had a bullet tear through her shoulder."

Harley gave a low whistle. "What happened? What on earth did you do, Megan?"

"Nothing." Megan paused. "You did it, Harley."

He stared at her, stunned. He shook his head. "Bullshit."

"That's what I said when Renata showed me her shoulder at Bellehaven. I was looking for any explanation that wouldn't lead to you." She added grimly, "Believe me; I didn't want it to be you, Harley. Because that would mean I had to accept the unacceptable."

He shook his head again.

"Renata," Megan said.

Renata shrugged. "You're the one who bandaged my shoulder this afternoon, Harley."

"Come on. I've done that any number of times in the past few days," Harley said.

Renata nodded. "But this time about an hour after I left the cliff it started to itch. I began to rub the scab around the wound but it felt... funny. So I pulled aside a little of the bandage to look at it." She paused. "The scab was flaking off and the wound..." She lifted her shoulders. "You saw it. Total healing."

"Then you did it, not me," Harley said defensively. "You're the one who's got all that psychic mojo."

Renata shook her head. "I'm not a healer."

"Neither am I. Don't you try to tell me that I'm—"

Renata chuckled. "You're scared. I was wondering if you would be."

"I'm not scared. It's just that this is all crap." He glared at Megan. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Easy." Grady was frowning thoughtfully. "The cliff, Megan?"

Megan nodded jerkily. "That's what Renata's guessing. I don't know how this Pandora stuff works but it may be triggered by extreme emotion. I was scared out of my mind when Harley grabbed me. It was life or death."

"And you were angry and afraid when Sienna crunched your hand."

"I still won't admit that I did that to Sienna. It could have been Molino."

"And it could have been you," Renata said baldly. "Stop hiding your head."

"It wouldn't do any good when you keep making me face it. Do you mind if I ignore that ugliness for a moment?" Her gaze was fixed eagerly on Harley. "You're darn right I'm excited, Grady. This is the first positive thing that's happened to me since all of this started. Harley, I know that it's hard to accept and we don't know exactly how your gift works, but I'll work with you. We'll all work with you."

"No, you won't. Because it's not true." Harley was scowling. "I know that I'm as normal as I've been all my life. I'm not like you guys who are—"

"Freaks?" Megan supplied. She smiled. "It's like looking in a mirror. I reacted the same way."

"Keep your mirror." Harley started to turn away. "I'm very happy the way I am and I'm not going to let you convince me that—"

"What?" Megan's smile faded. "Why are you behaving this way? This is something wonderful. After I thought about it, I realized that your being a healer isn't that foreign to your nature. Whenever I've been with you, I've been aware of a sort of... comfort. Just being around you brought a kind of healing when I was upset."

"Imagination." Harley's lips were set and stubborn. "And I'm not seeing any of this as wonderful."

Megan couldn't believe it. She had expected a little resistance but not this total rejection. Why couldn't he see the boundless possibilities? "And do you think I like this? The last thing I want in the world is to be a Pandora. Do you think I'm looking forward to walking on eggs, afraid to reach out to anyone? So far all anyone has told me is that it can drive people mad and kill them. But I touched you and you're not mad and now you have a gift I'd give anything in the world to possess." She added simply, "You're my salvation, Harley. You're proof that my being a Pandora can do some good in this world."

"I don't want to be your salvation," Harley said roughly. "Even if I could, I wouldn't want to be tied down. My God, I've been running away from responsibility all my life. And now you're trying to put a yoke around my neck? Thanks, but no thanks. I'm out of here."

"Then I'll follow you," Megan said. "I don't have time for you to spend six months or a year getting used to the idea that you're a healer. Phillip needs you now."

"Phillip?"

"It was the first thought I had when Renata told me about that healed wound."

"I'm supposed to lay my hand on him and make him come back to the world?"

"You're supposed to try."

For a moment Harley's expression changed, softened. "I'm sorry, Megan. I can't be what you want me to be. Even if I believed all this nonsense I couldn't." He turned and walked away.

Megan stared after him in frustration and disbelief. "I'm going after him."

"Don't push," Renata murmured. "He'll bolt. This has come as a shock and he has to work his way through it." She glanced at Grady. "Talk to her. She's pretty much in shock too. She could deny that she was a Pandora until I threw this at her, but she had to accept the healing." She turned and started toward the house.

"He just walked away," Megan said. "It's a chance for Phillip. Harley has got to believe me."

"He'll believe you. Give him some time." Grady took her hand. "He'll get over the first shock, then he'll get curious. It's after he actually starts to believe that he's no longer 'normal' that you'll be having trouble. His first reaction was pure Harley. What does a rolling stone do when he's forced to stop and have the world reach out and cling to him?"

"He gets scared and runs away," Megan said grimly. "I won't let him do it."

"It has to come from him, Megan." He pulled her out of the utility shed. "Come on. Let's go to the house and I'll introduce you to Venable and we'll go through those victims' files Harley was working on."

"Are you soothing me, Grady?"

"I'm trying. How am I doing?"

"Not so good. I'll give Harley a little time to adjust but I won't be distracted." She stepped closer. "But thanks for the effort."

"My pleasure." His lips brushed her temple. "Entirely my pleasure."

IT WAS OVER AN HOUR LATER that Megan heard the helicopter rotors.

Her head lifted sharply from the files she was looking through. "What's that? Renata..." But she had a feeling it wasn't Renata in that helicopter. She jumped to her feet and ran out of the house.

Renata was standing looking up at the helicopter that had just taken off. "He's flown the coop."

"Harley? Why didn't you stop him?"

"Leave him alone and he'll come home, wagging his tail behind him," Renata quoted. "Though I'm not sure about the wagging tail. But you have a better chance than if you went after him."

"You can't know that," she said in despair.

"No, but I'm very good at estimating cause and effect and projecting a final result." She smiled. "If I'm wrong, then I'll help you track him down and drag him back. I'm good at that too." She took Megan's arm. "Come on. Let's go and see if we can find Adia in that mountain of files."

Bellehaven

"HARLEY'S NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE," Grady said as he met Megan in the hall coming out of Phillip's room. "And I've tried every source I know to contact him. He's dropped off the face of the earth."

"Because that's the way he wants it." Megan shook her head. "Renata says he'll come back on his own but it's hard to be patient. It's been three days, Grady."

"You said they're still running tests on Phillip?"

She nodded. "They don't think any damage has been done because of treatment by Molino but they're not sure." She said unsteadily, "But he's not giving me any sign of a response as he did for Gardner. I examined Gardner's notes and he did document that he thought there was a slight improvement. That part wasn't a lie."

"Did Scott call you?"

"Yes, he was a little stilted, but he wants me to come and see Davy when I get the chance. I think it's going to be okay between us." She turned back toward the door to Phillip's room. "I want to get back to Phillip. I keep hoping that—"

"Miracles?" Grady asked. "I'm hoping with you, Megan." He paused. "But I'm not going to be here to see if you're able to pull a miracle off."

She turned back to face him. "What?"

"Oh, I'll be back. You're not going to get rid of me. But Venable is going to North Africa to try to track down those child victims we found in Molino's files."

"You're going with him?"

He shrugged. "I can do some good working with him." He met her gaze. "And you don't want me here right now. Even when I try to stay in the background, it doesn't happen. I disturb you. You don't want to deal with what we are together." He added roughly, "Hell, you were dodging coming to terms with me before. If I pushed now, you'd bolt and run like Harley did."

"I'm done with running." But she realized she was feeling a rush of relief. Even now she could feel the heat she always experienced when she was looking at him. He did disturb her, both mentally and physically, and she didn't need any more turmoil right now. She was going through enough emotional chaos trying to adjust to the Pandora reality and Phillip's lack of progress.

He was studying her expression. "You see?"

"I hate it when you're right."

"Get used to it. I can't help it." He gave her a quick, hard kiss. "And I'll be understanding and noble for a month, no longer. After that I'm going to come back and disturb the hell out of you."

He was already disturbing her as she watched him walk down the corridor away from her. She might be able to ignore Grady's effect on her on a conscious level but he was always there, beneath the surface, waiting.

Well, she would take what peace and space she could get. She turned and went back into Phillip's room.

Bellehaven Two weeks later

"I'VE COME TO SAY GOOD-BYE." Renata stood in the doorway of Phillip's room. "Can you leave him for a few minutes?"

"Why not? Maybe he'll miss me." She stood up and followed Renata from the room. "I'm willing to try anything these days."

"You should get away for a while." Renata walked toward the atrium. "You've been cooped up here for weeks. I've been worried about you." She paused. "And Grady's been worried about you."

Megan stiffened. "You've talked to Grady?"

"Two days ago. He's made progress finding the victims. He and Venable have located forty-five of them alive so far. He said that he's going to Tanzania to follow up a lead on Adia. He thinks the tribal leader has changed her name."

"But she's alive?"

"That's the report." She returned to the original subject. "You're spending too much time here. You need a break."

"I'm afraid not to be here if Phillip begins to stir again. What if he does and I'm not there? We may have lost an opportunity, but there may be another one. I have to hope." She tried to distract her. "I thought you were going to leave last week."

"Mark wanted me to do it. He says that it's not good to become as close as I am to you. He's probably right." She shrugged. "But I can't do what Mark wants all my life. I have to make my own decisions. I didn't want to leave until I was sure that you—I was the one who made you accept that you were a Pandora. I could have kept the healing of that wound to myself. After Sienna I just didn't want you to believe that you were some kind of Frankenstein." She smiled faintly. "I choose to believe the more positive myth about Pandora; that besides the evils of the world she also set free the virtues."

"You were right to do it. I had to know. I couldn't keep on lying to myself." Megan leaned against the rail and looked out at the peaceful stretch of lawns and trees. "And you only meant to be kind. I just wish Harley—You said he'd come back, but he hasn't. I just don't understand him."

"Because with you, the giving would never stop because it's your nature. Not many people are like you. You gave Harley the gift. It's his choice whether he wants to use it."

She made a face. "I wish this Pandora business would let me pick and choose instead of it being a wild card. What's the good of a gift that could benefit humanity if it's passed on to someone who ignores it?"

Renata shook her head. "The Ledger contains hundred of accounts of use and misuse of powers. You should read it sometime."

"As if you'd let it out of your hands."

"You're right. Well, maybe someday." She turned away. "I'll let you know if I hear anything more about Adia. Good-bye, Megan."

"That's not good enough."

Renata stopped, frowning. "What?"

Megan took two steps and took her in her arms. "Take care of yourself. I'll miss you... my friend."

Renata didn't move for a moment and then her arms tightened for the briefest moment before she stepped back. "Yeah, me too," she said awkwardly.

Megan watched her walk quickly out of the atrium. The room was suddenly darker without that vibrant presence.

Phillip.

There was nothing vibrant about him right now and he lived in a dark world. She had to get back to him.

SHE STIFFENED IN SHOCK as she opened the door.

Harley was sprawled in the visitor's chair beside Phillip's bed. He glanced up as she came into the room. "Hi, what's new?"

Good God, he was as casual as if he'd just run into her in the neighborhood bar.

"Not a damn thing." She went over to the bed and took Phillip's hand. "Just hanging around with an old friend."

Harley was silent a moment, gazing at Phillip. "It may not work, Megan. It doesn't happen all the time." Her heart started to pound. "How do you know?"

"I've done a little experimenting." His lips twisted. "At first, I tried to crawl into a hole and forget about this entire mess. Then I decided that I had to prove I was normal to myself. So I volunteered as an aide at St. Jude's in Memphis."

"The children's hospital?"

"Yeah, I like kids. I thought it wouldn't hurt to volunteer as an aide and help out in the wards. Of course, I was wrong. It did hurt. There's nothing that can break your heart like a sick kid." He met her eyes. "My percentage of successes was about eighty-two per cent. Of course, I can't verify all of those cases. I wasn't going to ask anyone to take X-rays or anything. God forbid, that anyone suspect I was some kind of psychic quack messing with those kids."

"God forbid," she repeated unsteadily.

"Well, most of them appeared remarkably better. I know for certain one little girl did go into remission. She was scheduled for tests two days after I got there and she came out of the MRI clean as a whistle." He frowned. "The healing seems to work better on open wounds rather than disease. I worked in the emergency room one night and the percentage went up to ninety-three percent."

"That's wonderful."

"I don't think so. I hate it. I never wanted this. Do you know how it feels to be able to heal one kid and not another?"

She nodded. "I'm a doctor. It happens all the time to me. And I don't have anything but knowledge and experience to rely on."

He scowled. "That's not what I want out of life. What if someone found out I could do this stuff? They'd smother me; they'd try to make me out as some kind of saint."

"You obviously have a problem. What's your solution?"

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Oh, no, I'm laughing because I'm happy." She smiled luminously. "I'm laughing because for the first time I have hope. I did something right and maybe this Pandora thing is going to turn out okay." She repeated, "What's your solution?"

He shrugged. "I go back to living my life as I did before. But maybe it wouldn't hurt if I spent a few days a week at the hospital. That should be enough to identify and help the critical cases. As I said, I like kids."

She could feel the tears sting her eyes. "No, I don't think that would hurt at all."

Harley looked back at Phillip. "I can't promise anything, Megan. I don't know how this works. Before you came in I put my hand on his temple and there was no response. Of course, it sometimes took days with the kids."

"Just try, Harley."

He nodded. "I'll give it my best shot. But not with you hovering over me. I feel weird enough doing this stuff. It embarrasses me."

"Embarrass? That's hard to believe."

"Just go away for a few days. I'll call you if I have any news."

"I want to stay here."

He shook his head. "I stay, you go." He smiled. "Go to Tanzania. Renata tells me that Grady may need help with some work to be done there."

"Renata?" She paused. "Did Renata bring you here tonight?"

He nodded. "She tracked me down like a bloodhound. She thought I'd be curious enough to explore the possibilities and called every hospital in a three-state area. She said I'd wasted enough of her time and that I had to straighten out things close to home." He made a face. "I got the impression that if I didn't do what she wanted she'd blow my cover at the hospital and set up an interview with Oprah about faith healers of the recent decade."

Megan smiled. "What a wicked woman she is."

"Tanzania," he prompted.

Grady was going to be in Tanzania. She hadn't seen him in over two weeks and he'd made no attempt to contact her. Hell, maybe he'd found himself relieved to put a little distance between them. She wasn't the only one who'd had to make major adjustments since they'd met. Perhaps she should wait for him to make the next move.

Wait? Her whole life seemed to be put on hold lately. Phillip, her medical career, exploring and coming to grips with being a blasted Pandora.

And, dammit, what was between her and Grady had to be clarified before she could move forward in any area.

She nodded slowly. "Definitely. Tanzania."