Текст книги "Perfectly Hopeless"
Автор книги: Holly Hood
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PERFECTLY HOPELESS
HOLLY HOOD
Booktrope Editions
Seattle, WA 2015
COPYRIGHT 2013, 2015 HOLLY HOOD
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
Attribution – You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work).
Noncommercial – You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
No Derivative Works – You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work.
Inquiries about additional permissions
should be directed to: [email protected]
Cover Design by Yosbe Designs
Edited by Samantha Zeiner
Previously self-published Perfectly Hopeless, 2013
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to similarly named places or to persons living or deceased is unintentional.
PRINT ISBN 978-1-5137-0467-8
EPUB ISBN 978-1-5137-0517-0
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015918118
Table of Contents
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
BOOKS BY HOLLY HOOD
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CHAPTER ONE
SUMMER TIME
CHAPTER TWO
THE BROWN-EYED BOY
CHAPTER THREE
WHAT AILS YOU?
CHAPTER FOUR
SPARKS
CHAPTER FIVE
ANYTHING IS BETTER
CHAPTER SIX
ART
CHAPTER SEVEN
MYSTERIOUS
CHAPTER EIGHT
ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?
CHAPTER NINE
TIME
CHAPTER TEN
FEELINGS
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HORRIBLE GOSSIP
CHAPTER TWELVE
UNINVITED
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
USELESS ISSUES
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
GIFT
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SUNBEAMS
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
UNSURE
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
WHAT-IFS
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TACTICS
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ESCAPE
CHAPTER TWENTY
IS THIS THE WAY?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
TAKE IT
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WHO SAID?
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
FALL
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MORE GREAT READS
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT HOLLY HOOD
Five stars! “ She knows how to bring the characters to life and into your heart. You feel for the characters almost from page one.”
Five stars! “This book was beautiful and some people might think it wasn't a happy story I think it was. There was love and sadness and hope but it was the best book I have read in a while.”
Four stars! “As an avid reader, I have become used to the highs and lows of emotion in my books. With that said it is very difficult to spark an emotion dark enough to make me cry, but Perfectly Hopeless reaches deep enough to touch that nerve”
BOOKS BY HOLLY HOOD
Wingless Series
Wingless
Polar
Scattered and Broken
Prison of Paradise
Letters to You
Back to Life
Ink Series
Ink
For more information about the author or upcoming books visit:
simplyhollyhood.com
Twitter @WinglessReapers
I love you more my sweet meatloaf!
To
My imagination, may we stay the best of friends for a lifetime.
And to Anne Ball, I love you and miss you! Life is hard without you here on earth but you are with me in my heart!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to everyone in my life that makes writing so much fun. The readers, my family, my friends, I appreciate all of you. It’s always nice to share my imagination with willing readers. Some books come easily, some are more difficult. Some make me cry. Others make me laugh. A few drag me into dark places. Regardless of what story it is, I am proud of them all. From the wobbly first, to the more recent ones, they all helped mold me as a writer. The Wingless Series marked my first steps into my journey as a writer, and as I release Perfectly Hopeless into the world I feel accomplished—and a little bittersweet. I feel like Henri and Maven took a special place in my heart and I hope they do the same for you.
SUMMER TIME
THIS WAS HER SUMMER. She swore it. This summer, life would go from devastating to incredible. Maven stared out of the window as her parents gossiped in the front seat about Claudia, their excessively confident neighbor with more money than the entire town.
She closed her eyes, dropping her head back against the leather seat, her golden blonde hair cascading around her shoulders. Maven was a young woman full of hope. She never went to bed without reflecting on all she wished would happen for her.
Portwood was the setting of their summer home. Every home was nestled between giant willow trees. A small town full of southern charm, right outside the lake. Maven’s family came here every year during the summer. It was a place filled with memories. Remembering all the good times always brought smiles. Portwood was magical.
“I wonder if Jake is going to be there,” her older brother, Nick mocked. Doing his best to tease Maven from his spot in the family car, Nick knew Maven was hoping for the opposite. After their messy breakup, Jake was the last person she wanted to lay eyes on. Jake was a jerk, and the entire family knew it.
“I don’t know and I don’t care.”
After the tears she cried over a guy like Jake, it was the truth. And suddenly the family’s annual vacation was sounding less exciting and more torturous. She shrank down in her seat as the Portwood “Welcome” sign whizzed by the window.
Her mom shot her a sympathetic smile.
“Everyone who is anyone is at Portwood for Summer vacay,” Maggie, her younger sister, said, tearing off her sunglasses to gain a better view of all the younger guys as they carried beach towels and coolers on their way to the lake.
“I don’t think the Maves considers Jake Summit anyone anymore,” Nick smirked. He leaned forward, clamping down on Maven’s shoulder. “If he gives you any trouble you just let me know. I’ll rough him up for you.”
Their mother aimed a concerned look in both of their directions. She knew how Nick’s temper could get sometimes. This wasn’t a joke in her eyes. “Nicky you remember what we said.”
Nick sighed, letting out the loudest grumble he could muster. “I know, I know. No more money for college if I lay a finger on Summit. I thought that was what family was for though, Mom.” He ran a hand through his shaggy brown mop of hair giving Maven a secret smirk.
Maven unfastened her seat belt, staring up at the family summer home. A modern two story brick house with white shutters and a huge wraparound porch, lush green grass, and the perfect amount of shade and sun.
She wasn’t about to let Jake Summit ruin her summer.
THE BROWN-EYED BOY
MAVEN SAT DOWN on her bed. Looking around her room at all her favorite belongings; the rose-colored mirror, the antique vanity, and the queen-sized canopy bed her mother had had when she was younger, all that she loved coming back to every year.
She stood and went to her window. Just across the way were several families she was all too familiar with. They too migrated to Portwood for the summer. And they also had kids that attended school with Maven.
Nick tapped on Maven’s door. He wondered what his sister was contemplating so deeply. “You could have stayed at home and hid in your bedroom.” He stepped inside his sister’s excessively feminine bedroom, looking at all the photographs and art on her walls. He breathed in the floral fragrance. “I am going down for frozen yogurt. And seeing as you’re a die hard fan I thought you would want to come.”
Maven nodded. She knew if she refused, their parents would start with all their psychobabble. They were both doctors and they never stopped analyzing everything their kids did. It was best to keep that to a minimum.
“Let me grab my jacket,” she said, cracking open her walk-in closet for the first time in months. She smiled at the sight of so many clothes. She was that kind of girl—one who loved to wear nice things. She plucked a jean jacket from the hanger and hurried down the stairs after Nick.
Maggie had already beaten her to the door. She carefully applied clear lip gloss waiting on Maven and Nick so they could all head out for frozen yogurt.
When Maven was with Jake it was the same every year. Their parents vacationed together, ate together, played tennis together. Everything they did was together and that wasn’t exciting. Their fathers even worked together.
The Wilder’s and the Summit’s grew up together. Maven could remember the stories her mother would recount forever about the times she had with Jake’s mother on the high school cheerleading squad. It was almost like an arranged marriage.
All that changed rapidly when Tatiana Fleming rolled into town. Tatiana and Maven were nothing alike. She was raven haired while Maven was fair. Her parents were laid-back, while Maven’s were more formal. Maybe not strict, but they expected their children to act like upstanding citizens. That meant manners and no foul language. And of course young women were supposed to act like women. And men were supposed to have respect for them.
Because of these rules, many kids that grew up with Maven and her siblings coined them the goody goodies. It got Nick in tons of trouble. He was always trying to prove to everyone around him that he wasn’t always perfect or uptight. Maggie, the youngest of them, became the rebel, and Maven simply ignored what everyone thought about her and tried to be herself despite all the immaturity. She didn’t feel she needed to prove herself to anybody.
“What flavor you getting?” Nick asked, nudging Maven from her train of thought. She concentrated on the white menu with the little magnetic black letters. Noticing the L in vanilla was crooked. The line moved, bringing her back to reality and to her brother’s question.
“Orange.” She nibbled at a nail, staring at the back of the woman’s head in front of her as she ordered. She was almost certain the woman was from their neighborhood back at home, which meant most of her hometown was there too.
“Stop biting your fingernails,” Maggie said, she swatted Maven’s hand. “That is so unhygienic.”
Maven shot her a scowl, dropping her hand to her side. Just in time too. She could feel their eyes on the back of her like daggers. Nick shot his sister a quick look before resting his elbows on the counter. He leaned down to place his order.
“Just breathe. He probably won’t say anything if you don’t.” Nick offered.
Maven knew the odds of that happening were slim. Jake was a prick. If he knew he had an opportunity to showcase his new girlfriend, he would. She drew in a deep breath, letting it escape as she waited for the red-haired girl to return to the window to take their order.
Time slowed. Maven’s throat constricted at the thought of her and Jake coming face-to-face. She wasn’t sure if she could handle it. He had embarrassed her in front of their entire school and she didn’t want to experience that again, the last two weeks of senior year was enough for her.
Tatiana and Jake had been messing around behind her back for months. And sadly she was the only one who didn’t know. Even her brother figured it out and he was in college. And instead of letting it go, Jake insisted on rubbing it in her face whenever he could.
Maven snatched half the napkins from the dispenser in angst. Suddenly she wasn’t so cool and her jacket was doing nothing but making her perspire.
The red-headed girl gave a toothy smile and pulled the window open. The combination of warm air and candied nuts wafted past Maven’s nose. “What can I get ya’ll?”
Nick gave the sheepish smile he was so famous for, dragging his fingers through his messy hair before opening his mouth to speak.
“I’ll take the usual. Medium orange cone,” Maven said in a hurry to get to the next window.
As if her voice sent off bells, Jake took notice. He slid his hand around Tatiana’s curvy waist. It felt like gravity pulled Maven’s eyes in their direction. As hard as she fought against it, she had no choice but to look.
“Maven. I didn’t think you guys were already here,” Jake said, looking her over with his usual holier-than-thou expression.
Nick took hold of her elbow, guiding her to the next window. Jake grinned at Nick before casting his attention to the red head waiting for his order. Tatiana chewed her gum, giving Maven a cold smile. Maven didn’t know if she hated her or liked her. Chances were it was hate.
Maven looked away. She was beginning to wish she stayed back home with their Grandfather watching the pets and taking it easy. Anything would be better than staring at her ex-boyfriend with his trampy girlfriend.
At one time, she did have strong feelings for Jake. Well not anymore, now she thought they were just stupid feelings. She learned quickly that boys had a way of breaking your heart. And soon she was refusing to believe that love existed. To her, love was cruel.
Jake touched Tatiana’s cheek with his fingertips as they waited for their yogurt. She giggled a little too overdramatically for Maven’s taste. She wondered what he saw in her as they flirted openly. What made him choose to forgo their relationship for the likes of Tatiana? How is she any better than me? She almost wanted to ask him.
“Here you go.” The guy behind the counter said, sticking his hand through the window offering Maven her yogurt. But she was too busy watching Jake and Tatiana fondle each other in public, trying to figure out why.
“Maven heads up,” Maggie said elbowing her sister.
Too besieged with all the PDA going on, she stepped forward, grabbing for the yogurt, totally missing the yogurt and the step. She gasped, seeing only the face of the brown-eyed boy as she plummeted to the concrete. She swatted her brother away as he tried to help her up, her pride refusing to allow anyone to lend a hand, her hand shot above her head and blindly located the counter, she tried putting her weight on the counter, gave it a tug, broke the latch and fell back down again in horror. She dusted her knees and tried one more time at standing, silently begging herself to hold it together and take the orange yogurt so she could get out of there.
Jake and Tatiana laughed behind her, enjoying her ham-fisted behavior.
“Thanks.” She gave the guy behind the counter a smile, taking the cone and hurrying to the picnic tables. He watched her go with the barest grin on his face, feeling horrible about what just happened, but he thought she was doing a fairly remarkable job at hiding her humiliation.
Maggie and Nick took the picnic table closest to the yogurt hut. Maven sat down beside Nick, her taste for orange yogurt non-existent at this point.
“Who's the guy in the hut?” Maggie asked no one in particular. This brought Maven’s attention back to the window. She took a long look at the guy with brown hair and equally brown eyes to match. He offered her a sympathetic smile.
“No clue. Never seen him before,” she offered. And she hadn’t.
Nick shrugged. “Me either. Maybe it’s just a summer job for the guy. They have to have someone run the yogurt hut.”
Maggie licked her fingers free of yogurt. “Sandra’s parents own the place. They make their kids run it. That girl is Sandra’s older sister.”
Nick smirked. He had been eyeing her since they got there. “Do you know her name?”
Maggie groaned. “Gross. I’m not doing your dirty work, creeper.”
Jake plopped down across from them at the picnic table. Tatiana sat on top of the table, her back facing Maven.
“So how’s it going guys?” Jake asked, taking a bite of his vanilla yogurt, letting his gaze rest on each of them.
Nick shifted in his seat. “It was going great until you showed up.”
Maggie smirked.
Jake made a sad face. “So hostile.”
Nick stiffened. “Why don’t you just get lost? Nobody wants you here. This place is big enough for you to steer clear of my sister.”
Maven got up from the picnic table. “That’s fine he can stay. I’m leaving.”
She tossed her yogurt in the trash on the way to back of the yogurt hut. Finally out of view, she pressed herself against the cool concrete. She wondered if it ever got easier. Or if Jake would forever want to make her life miserable.
“Don’t cry,” she said aloud. But it wasn’t enough to stop the tears from escaping. She quickly wiped at them, but it didn’t matter, she was in full-on cry mode.
The back door of the yogurt hut opened. The brown-eyed guy came out. He tossed empty yogurt tubs into the trash cans at the side of the building, turning as he wiped his hands on the front of his black apron, he looked Maven over and saw she was crying.
He debated ignoring what he had just witnessed. It wasn’t his place to ask a girl hiding beside the trash cans of the yogurt hut why she was crying. But he did it anyways. “Are you okay?”
Maven’s head shot up, she was shocked to be caught in yet another embarrassing position. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He nodded, waiting for her to look him in the eye so he could be certain. But when she didn’t, it made him feel worse, not better, about leaving her there alone. He bit at his lip, trying to come up with something to say to her. “Rough day?”
Maven finally looked at him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Always, it seems like.”
“Does it have to do with that guy with the wallet chain over there?” He grinned, trying to inject a little humor into such a sad moment.
Maven didn’t grin, but she nodded.
“I think your boyfriend scared him away.” He nodded, taking hold of the handle.
Maven shook her head. “No. That’s my brother. And the girl, that’s my sister.”
He noted this. “So does that mean Mr. Wallet Chain is your old boyfriend?”
Maven nodded, afraid to admit it. She didn’t want anyone to judge her based on the bad attitude that exuded from Jake nowadays.
WHAT AILS YOU?
MAVEN SAT ON THE PORCH of her parent’s summer home. She had had a horrible dream the night before. One where she was completely and totally helpless, her parents stood by laughing with a crowd of family and friends, all laughing as Jake made out with Tatiana for the world to see. Everyone pointing fingers at her, taunting her, but she couldn’t run. It was as if her feet were cemented in place and she was being forced to watch the one guy she ever had real feelings for, cram his tongue down someone else’s throat—it was torture.
She rocked a little faster on the old rocking chair she was sitting in. The arms of the willow trees melodiously fluttering as if they too were trying to get away from something, just like her. Maven wrestled her hair behind her ear ignoring the more than light breeze. She chewed her bottom lip, staring straight ahead, lost in the dark unbearable dream. How could Jake do what he did to her?
Some would call it betrayal.
Just then a newspaper dropped at her feet, echoing against the wooden porch. She came back to life. She bent over to pick up the paper, resting it in her lap.
“Have a good day.” The brown-eyed boy said—the same one from the yogurt hut. She felt a bit embarrassed seeing him again after nearly breaking her neck—and to make matters worse, crying about her ex-boyfriend behind the yogurt hut.
“You too,” She called out, watching him hitch the newspaper sack up on his shoulder and head to the next house. He looked back, shooting her a smile.
She stood, all the shame melting away unexpectedly. “You’re the boy from the yogurt hut.”
He nodded, pulling another paper from his sack. His dark eyes were dazzling when he smiled, “You’re the girl I found behind the yogurt hut.” He left out the part about her crying.
Maven’s cheeks flushed. But she didn’t bother denying it. He looked nice enough not to make her feel even worse. And judging from the way his mouth curled into a crooked grin she knew he meant no harm.
“I’m Maven.” She told him, coming all the way down the extensive porch steps. Now they were eye level. She nervously looked at the lush grass beneath her feet. Being just a few feet away from him, she was more tense than she expected.
He tucked the newspaper under his arm, coming toward her. “I’m Henri.” He offered his hand. This caught her off guard, it wasn’t the old days, and it had been a long time since she met a boy with manners.
“Nice to meet you, Henri.” Maven smiled. “How many jobs do you have?”
Henri dropped his head to one side, never losing the smile. This only made her smile even bigger at his sheepish ways. “Just a couple, anything to keep me busy.”
She could only wish she was as smart as Henri. Instead she spent her afternoon sitting on the porch reliving her nightmares.
“They’re not really jobs. I just help out when I can.” He tugged down the hat he was wearing. His eyes looked troubled all of a sudden. “I gotta go. Nice meeting you, Maven.”
And with a quick wave he started across the lawn to the neighbor’s house. She watched him toss the paper on the porch, wondering who Henri was exactly. She had never seen him before.
Henri worked quickly. Putting his mind back into the zone and away from the blonde-haired blue-eyed girl that always seemed sad, he had enough sad for the both of them. He knew deep down she was a happy person. But something was bothering her. And even he could see it was sucking the life out of her.
“Probably the boyfriend,” He muttered to himself. Just then his phone rang. The song Free Bird floating through the air, he listened for a moment before answering.
“I swear I am on my way.” He smirked, staring up at the old house in front of him, running a hand down the back of his neck. “Yes, I know it’s important.” He rolled his eyes, ending the call, even when he was being scolded like a child he still held the same unchanged grin.
Henri was nineteen. And he couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed anything. He would never admit that though. That’s the way he liked to keep it.
He pulled into the old doctor’s office on the outskirts of Portwood. A small place, the staff included one local doctor that was older than dirt, and the usual summer staff, various doctors who would lend a hand while on their vacation. Dr. Moore wasn’t in the best health, so it was always much needed.
Henri killed the engine of his beat-up pickup. He let out a long sigh, staring at the old sign on the side of the office. His fingers twitched—nerves. He hated going, usually found something to make him miss his appointments altogether. Unless his aunt had anything to do with it, then he had no other choice but to go.
And there she was. Aunt Janet. She jogged to his truck, holding her hair in place against the wind. “Henri, out of this car now, you’re almost late.” She rapped on the window.
Getting out of his truck, Henri kissed her cheek and slammed his door shut. “Nice scrubs.”
She ignored his compliment, looking him over with deep concern. “They have a new doctor in today. She wanted to go over your charts.”
Henri ran a hand along his face. “Great. More people to tell me the same thing.”
His aunt opened the office door for him, acting as if he was even incapable of doing that for himself. “Where were you this morning? Uncle Ray made French toast.”
Henri allowed her to open the next door. “I paid John five dollars to let me deliver the newspapers.” He smiled at her shocked sigh.
“Sign in, I have to get back to my sandwich before my break is over.” She kissed his cheek, giving his arm an extra squeeze before she took off.
Henri did as she asked. He gave each of the old men waiting their turn a smile, snagged a magazine, and took a seat nearest the door.
The first old man, wearing cotton shorts and a blue polo, let out a dry cough. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and looked Henri over. “Nice day.”
Henri looked up from his magazine. “Yeah. Love the sun.” He dropped his gaze.
The old man cleared his throat again. “I see you in here damn near every week.”
He nodded. It had been awhile since he had had to explain. Silently he counted to ten. Hoping this would be enough to end the conversation.
“Henri Levitt,” The nurse said from the doorway. She smiled sweetly at the sight of Henri. And Henri silently thanked her for getting him out of an uncomfortable situation.
“How you feeling, Henri?”
“Great.”
She smiled again. It seemed that’s all anyone did anymore when they were around him. He missed the days he pissed people off and they let him have it. Because now there was nothing he could do to evoke any emotion in anyone. They were all walking zombies.
“There is a new doctor today. I’m sure your aunt told you this already. Dr. Wilder.”
Henri nodded, and took his place on the scale. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the rattling. When it ended he listened to the familiar scratching of her pen.
“You gained five pounds. What’s your secret?” She pushed the marker back to the beginning.
“My aunt and uncle’s cooking.” Down the hall they went. Room four. She let him in first. He took a seat on the crinkly paper.
“Anything new to report?” she asked, strapping the blood pressure cuff to his arm.
“Nope. Feel fine.” He stared past her auburn hair to the tacky wallpaper at the top of the ceiling.
“The doctor will be with you shortly, Henri.” She closed the door ever so gently, leaving him to a welcomed silence, the only sound coming from the black wall clock.
There were two short knocks before Vanessa Wilder entered the room. Dressed in a white blouse and gray slacks, she was young-looking, with shoulder length strawberry blonde hair.
“Hi, you must be Henri.” She shook his hand, staring down at his chart. “I hope you don’t mind I am doing your check-up today. Dr. Moore has been ill.” She smiled, taking out a pair of reading glasses to get a better look at his chart.
“No, I don’t mind.” Henri sanded his hands together. He hated that every detail about his health was documented for the world to see. “I’m sure you’re a lot less cranky than Dr. Moore.”
Her head shot up. She studied him closely before she smiled and let out a laugh.
“It says here you’re nineteen.” She took a seat at her desk. Henri noticed a photograph. As he looked closer he recognized the girl in the photo.
“Is that your daughter?” Henri asked, staring at the image of Maven on her desk.
She turned the frame. “Yeah, this is my oldest daughter. She’s been miserable lately. But this has always been my favorite picture of her. Back before her boyfriend dumped her.” She looked up, suddenly realizing she was rambling. “I’m sorry. You’re not here to discuss my teenage daughter’s issues.”
Henri shook his head. “It is a nice picture. She’s beautiful.”
She smiled at his compliment. “Her name is Maven. And I agree she is beautiful.”
“So let’s get a look at Dr. Moore’s recent work.” She quickly washed her hands. Henri pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a pinkish scar. He touched his chest, his fingers tracing his battle wound. To him that was what it was.
