Текст книги "Inked Armour"

Автор книги: Helena Hunting

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I stayed where I was for several minutes before I peeked out again; then I crept down the hall to Professor Calder’s office. A muffled moan came from the other side of the door. It was followed by the sounds of furniture dragging across wood, and then a rhythmic slapping started. The rumors were true.

I slipped my phone out of my back pocket, went to the video-camera feature, and hit the record button as the woman began moaning in earnest. I held the phone up to Professor Calder’s nameplate. There was a loud smack, like a palm hitting skin, and low tones of admonishment. Then the banging started, loud and hard. I hoped my phone picked up the muffled sound of the woman calling out his name. When I was at risk of gagging, I pocketed my phone. Quietly, I slipped the title page free from my draft and scrawled a message. Returning it to the folder, I dropped the package into the box beside his door.

Even though it let me out on the wrong side of the building, I left through the stairwell beside his office. The door closed with an echoing slam, which was the point. I wanted to incite paranoia. As I stepped out into the frosty December afternoon, I decided I’d learned one good thing from Trey: blackmail could be an effective tool for self-preservation.

10
HAYDEN

People were annoying the hell out of me today. Lisa and Chris, to be precise. They kept looking at me, obviously waiting for something. Maybe they thought I was going to flip my shit or sit down and have a little love-in to share my feelings about Tenley’s being back, which wasn’t going to happen. And not just because I hated the sharing bullshit. My feelings were all over the place, and I was still sorting them out.

It was just past two in the afternoon. Tenley had gone to run some errands and all I could think about was when she’d be back. I pulled the folder for my client this afternoon, as well as Nate’s designs. He was supposed to stop by later in the evening to take a look at them. I figured his impromptu drop-in had more to do with what had happened at dinner on Sunday than the actual tattoo, but I didn’t mind either way. Nate’s intentions were good, even if he was looking to get all up in my head.

I left his design at my workstation and took the other one to the private room. The tattoo would span from midrib to upper thigh, down the right side of my client’s body. It was a cool design and Amy was a cool chick. I’d done a few smaller pieces for her in the past, but this was her first foray into a multisession tattoo. I was pretty damn excited to be working on another substantial piece.

I left the door open and started setting up. We were only going for a two-hour session because ribs hurt like an SOB and I didn’t want to push it. That should be enough to tackle the outline, provided we didn’t take too many breaks. Amy was realistic about her pain tolerance, which was a nice change from some of the douche nozzles who scheduled four hours of my time, then pussied out halfway through.

“Hey.” Lisa was in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.

“Is Amy here already?” I checked the time. It was only ten past. While she was prompt, she didn’t usually show up this early for a session.

“Not yet.” Lisa came inside and shut the door.

“What’s up?” I knew damn well why she was barricading me in here. Lisa had been waiting for the chance to grill me ever since I’d walked through the door with Tenley.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Just fine?”

I smoothed out the stencil. “You don’t need to pussyfoot around the issue. Ask what you want to ask.”

“What’s going on with you and Tenley?”

I would have thought the way I’d kissed her before I sent her off answered the question. Apparently not. “We’re working things out.”

“Which means what, exactly?”

I frowned. “It means what it means. Or are you looking for a play-by-play of our conversation so you can give me your unbiased opinion on what you think I should do?”

“Sarah called me this morning. Apparently she had an interesting conversation with Candy late last night.”

Shit. Bad news traveled fast. I hadn’t even seen Candy at The Dollhouse, but my focus had been elsewhere. I got real busy checking to make sure I had the right ink. “Yeah? What’d she have to say?”

“That Sienna got into it with someone whose description fits Tenley’s, and Sienna’s nose ended up broken. Candy also might have mentioned to Sarah that you stopped by The Dollhouse. She said Sienna was all in a rage after you left. Do you want to fill in the missing details?”

“Tenley left her keys with Sarah when she went back to Arden Hills. She stopped at The Dollhouse thinking Sarah would be there and had a run-in with Sienna instead. Things got heated. I picked her up.”

“Tenley called you?”

About twenty times. I’d ignored them all. “No. Jay did.”

I could tell there was a lot Lisa wanted to ask, but she chose her questions carefully. She started with the most telling one. “Did Tenley stay at your place last night?”

“Yeah. She was pretty shaken up after The Dollhouse bullshit. Sienna pushed her around a bit before Tenley fought back. She couldn’t manage the stairs to her apartment because of her hip. Besides, TK was at my place and Tenley wanted to see her.”

I was rationalizing the hell out of my actions, but I didn’t need Lisa’s judgment. I’d spent enough time without Tenley. Now that she was back, I wasn’t inclined to play it cool and take all sorts of space. Even if the smarter course of action was to dip a toe in and check the temperature before diving headlong into a boiling pot of water. I was a diver, not a dipper.

“Did you have sex with her?”

“Seriously? I don’t get all up in your personal business and ask if you’re putting out for Jamie on the regular,” I snapped.

“Jamie and I have sex daily. Usually in the morning, because that’s when Jamie has the best longevity and it puts me in a good mood. There. Now I’ve shared. Your turn.”

I cringed at the mental image. “Why, Lisa? Why would you tell me that? I don’t need those details.”

“Oh? And here I thought that’s what this was about. The only time you’ve been reticent about your previous sexual escapades is when you were with Sienna, and when you broke your own stupid rule with Tenley. Based on how dodgy you’re being, I’m pretty sure I know the answer to the question anyway.”

“And your point is?”

Lisa arched a brow. “I’m just checking to see where you’re at. She’s been gone for weeks and you’ve been a mess. She comes back, and the first thing you do is fall into bed with her? After everything that’s happened, do you think that’s a good decision?”

“We talked first.”

“And everything’s better? After one conversation?”

“There were two conversations. One last night and one this morning.”

“And when did you get it on, in between the two?”

“After the one this morning.” Because that made it so much better.

“Oh. Well, then. Two heartfelt chats later and you’re over her leaving with no explanation?” Lisa asked snidely.

“No, but it’s not like I can pull a do-over, can I?”

“I believe you’ve tried that before, with little success.”

I glared at her. “I don’t understand why you’re being like this. I figured you’d be glad we were sorting shit out.” Although, if I was honest, the sex with Tenley complicated the situation. All my anger, frustration, and fear had funneled right into the hard, fast, mind-blowing, multiple-orgasm bliss. While it had been a good form of stress relief, it unearthed a barrage of other crap I wasn’t ready to deal with. I kept that shit to myself.

“I’m happy she’s back, but you need to be careful, and not just for your sake. You two have a lot to sort through.”

“Like I said, we’re working it out. She gets that I’m angry with her for leaving, and I’m not telling her everything is fine now that she’s back.”

“That’s great. But there’s more to this than Tenley leaving, and the things you learned about her. You’ve got your own skeletons you’re not dealing with. You can’t keep them buried forever.”

There was a knock on the door and Jamie poked his head in. He looked from me to Lisa and back again. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said slowly. “Amy’s here.”

His timing couldn’t have been better. “Perfect. I’ll be right out.”

“Do you want a minute?” he asked.

“Nope. We’re good here.”

“I’ll let her know.” Jamie’s head disappeared and he left the door open.

When I tried to get around Lisa, she put a hand on my arm, a gentle request to hear her out.

“Remember that talk we had about things not always being black and white, back before you started the outline on Tenley?”

“What about it?”

“Maybe you need to find a middle ground, so this thing with Tenley isn’t all or nothing. She obviously wants to be with you, like you want to be with her. All I’m suggesting is this time you might want to slow down and get all the important stuff out of the way first.”

Lisa had a valid point. I wasn’t good at taking things slow and Tenley was no exception. I’d practically lived in her apartment as soon as I got into her pants. But it wasn’t just about the sex back then, and it wasn’t now. It made the whole issue difficult to navigate. I wanted her, and I wanted to be with her; separating the two needs was a challenge. They were entwined; one begot the other. But then, I’d never felt about anyone else the way I felt about Tenley.

“Have you been talking to Nate?”

Lisa’s nose crinkled. “What? Why?”

“Because you sound like him with your life metaphors and therapizing.”

“‘Therapizing’?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a word. If not, I’m petitioning to have it added to Webster’s.”

Lisa rolled her eyes, then grew serious once more. “Therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you.”

“I already know what’s wrong with me.”

She gave me a look. “Just think about what I said. I’m on your side. Tenley was good for you before she left. I hope she still is. I would hate to see it all fall apart again because you’re still protecting each other from your pasts. Relationships are no easy thing. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap.”

Lisa left me standing there, somewhat stupefied. She and Jamie didn’t fight, not that I ever saw. Occasionally Lisa was snippy or Jamie was in one of his moods, but they were always respectful of one another and affectionate to the point of making those around them gag. I often teased Jamie for being pussy whipped and he didn’t deny it. It never occurred to me that they had issues—but then, I guess I wouldn’t have that insight, considering how guarded I was. No one had ever gotten close enough for me to contend with real problems. Not until Tenley. So far, I seemed to be sucking at it.

I was still a little dazed when I came out of the room to greet Amy. Since Chris didn’t have a client, they were chatting it up. Amy had her hand on his forearm, her head thrown back in laughter.

“Hey, gorgeous!” she exclaimed when she saw me.

“How’s it going?” I accepted the brief hug.

“Awesome! I’m superpsyched.” She tilted her head to the side. “You look different.”

“I haven’t had a haircut in a while.” I scratched the side of my head. My hair was getting long and I’d been in too much of funk to ask Lisa to take care of it.

“No, I noticed that last week. I meant to tell you that you look almost civilized with all that hair. But don’t worry, the piercings keep you badass.”

“That’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to go mainstream or anything.”

“How tragic would that be? Still, there’s something . . . I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” She looked me over in a clinical, assessing way, which wasn’t unusual for her since she worked as an EMT. When she couldn’t come up with anything, she dropped it and clapped her hands together. “Should we get started?”

I smiled. “Let’s do it.”

Like Lisa and Tenley, she was feisty, but less subdued. In two-hour blocks, Amy was an awesome dose of energy. I always finished a session with her wanting to run a marathon or something.

I led her to the private room and gave her specific directions on what clothing she needed to remove. Because the tattoo spanned from ribs to thigh, she’d have to lose everything from the waist down. We could work around her shirt, but she couldn’t wear her bra. We had smocks to cover the important parts, but I’d still be looking at most of her ass the entire time. It was unavoidable.

I left the room to let her undress and checked my phone for messages from Tenley. There weren’t any, so like the sucker I was, I sent her one. Her reply came immediately. She was at the pet store and wanted to buy TK something new to play with. I suggested kitty weed. She questioned my parenting skills. I considered briefly what it would be like to have a real kid and abruptly shut down that train of thought. No way would I ever want that responsibility, or the mess or worry that came along with it. TK was more than enough.

Amy poked her head out into the hall. “I’m all set.”

“Cool.” I pocketed my phone and we got down to business.

As expected, Amy needed frequent breaks. Even with a stress ball, the area over her ribs was extrasensitive. Where Tenley was slender but curvy, Amy was rail thin. She was a runner, so there wasn’t much body fat as cushioning. She held her own, but she was ready to call it quits after two hours. In that time I managed to complete the outline, so we’d be ready for color next time she came in.

After the ink was dressed, she changed back into her clothes and met me in the main studio. Lisa wanted to see Amy’s new body art. Neither one thought to head to one of the empty rooms in the back for privacy. Instead, Amy, who wasn’t shy, lifted her shirt to display the tattoo traveling from beneath her nonexistent breasts to her nearly curveless hips. Lisa got right in there and checked it out, while two frat boys gawked at them from chairs across the room. They were waiting for Lisa to hook them up with some new piercings. At least, that’s what they’d told her. I was putting money on one of them chickening out, since their proposed piercings were of the below-the-belt variety.

As Lisa and Amy nattered away about the color scheme for the design, the bell above the door tinkled and Tenley walked into the shop. Her face was flushed from the cold. The collar of her black winter coat was flipped up to shield her face. She wore a hot-pink hat with a black skull and crossbones on it. The skull had a bow on the top of its head. She looked cute. Her eyes met mine as she removed the hat and shook out her hair.

Tenley’s smile dropped and her expression went flat as Amy’s arms came around me in a sideways hug. “I’m a devout client. I will never let anyone work on me but you.”

Chris coughed from his station.

“If I was into tribal, I’d defect, darling, and you know it,” Amy called out.

Chris raised a hand in acknowledgment and went back to filling in black lines on an intricate Celtic design.

“There’s someone I want to introduce you to,” I said, and extended a hand to Tenley. I waited until she was right in front of me. “Tenley, this is Amy. Amy, this is Tenley.”

“Hi!” Amy shook her hand enthusiastically. “Are you one of Hayden’s clients, too?”

Tenley glanced at me before she answered. “Hayden’s been working on a back piece for me, but it’s been a while since I’ve been in his chair.”

“Oh? So it’s a multisession? Let me tell you, once you get started, it’s hard to stop, especially with this talent.” Amy rubbed my arm.

Tenley’s eyes were homed in on Amy’s hand as it smoothed down my biceps, and Tenley’s lips turned up in a coy smile as she traced a line of ink on my forearm. “Yes. Hayden is incredibly talented. I’m very fortunate to have his art on my body.”

Amy blinked. Lisa coughed to hide a snicker. The innuendo was hard to ignore, and an annoying part of my body reacted accordingly. I’d said something to the same effect a long time ago, before we were together. It had come out sounding just as explicitly inappropriate. Tenley was staking a claim, and it was both amusing and hot. How Lisa figured I could manage a sex hiatus was beyond me. Pretty much everything Tenley said or did made me want her.

“Actually, Tenley’s my girlfriend.” I put an arm around Tenley’s shoulder and pulled her into my side. She burrowed right in, her thumb hooking into a belt loop.

“Oh. Of course.” Amy nodded. “I told Hayden there was something different, and here you are.”

“Here I am,” Tenley said quietly.

I leaned down with the intention of kissing her cheek. She turned her head at the last second and I connected with her mouth, instead. Her tongue flicked out, all subtle like, skimming my bottom lip. I liked the jealous side of her. It made me feel better about my own territorial impulses.

Once Amy settled up, Tenley and I went to get the douche mobile since it still had all her stuff in it. As soon as we were in the car, she was all over me. The front seat had plenty of room for her to maneuver. She was half straddling me, her lips on mine with one hand rubbing over my crotch through my jeans. My dick was throwing a party.

“Whoa. Take it easy, kitten.”

She took advantage of my mouth’s being open and shoved her tongue in it. Her hand snaked under the waistband of my pants. She couldn’t manage the coordination or the patience necessary to kiss me and get her hand down far enough to find what she was looking for. Which, incidentally, was bent at an awkward angle. She pulled my fly down. Part of me wanted to help her out, but the other part—the one that considered the merits of taking things slowly—decided now would be a good time to act on that advice.

I put my hand over hers. “Tenley, I think—”

She kept fumbling with my belt. I went limp and stopped kissing her. She made an impatient noise and pushed her tongue past my lips again. Although the urge to react was strong, I remained unresponsive.

“Kiss me,” she ordered, and nipped at my bottom lip.

“No.”

“Fine.” She went to work on my belt with both hands.

“Tenley, stop.” I ran my hands down her arms and circled her wrists. She flinched and jerked them away. I’d forgotten about the bruises from that fuckhead Trey.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” The panic and fear in her eyes was echoed in her voice.

I definitely wanted her hands on me, but the location was all wrong. Besides, her motivation was questionable. “How about you tell me what’s got you so worked up.”

“We only have an hour before your next appointment. I want to make the most of it.”

“By getting it on in your deceased fiancé’s car?”

She blinked, stunned, and dropped heavily into her seat.

Well, that soured the mood. “I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say.”

“You’re right, though. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to be close to you.”

“There’s more to it than that,” I challenged.

“I didn’t like the way she was touching you.”

“Amy’s a client and a friend. She’s touchy with everyone.”

“Her hands were only on you,” Tenley pointed out acidly.

“She’s just a client,” I reiterated, unsure where Tenley was going with this and why she was so agitated over it. She’d never been like this before, but then, a lot had changed in a short time.

“So you’ve never been with her?”

My eyebrows shot up. “Uh, no. The only client I’ve had sex with was Sienna.”

“Aside from me, you mean.”

“Yeah. But you’re different, and so are the circumstances. Where is this coming from?”

“You were with Sienna for years.” Tenley traced the divots on the inside of the steering wheel.

I rubbed my forehead. “We’ve talked about this before. Sienna and I fucked. And, yes, we did it on and off for a long time, but it wasn’t a relationship.”

“I’m not sure I agree with that.”

“Just because I put my dick in whatever hole she offered doesn’t mean we had a relationship.” Tenley grimaced, probably because I was being unnecessarily crass, but I needed her to understand the distinct differences between her and Sienna. “We didn’t go out on dates. I never spent time with her if I wasn’t high or getting laid. For fuck’s sake, she was the one who orchestrated all the third– and fourth-party participation.”

Tenley’s eyes widened. “All? As in more than once?”

“Why do you look so surprised? You’ve been inside The Doll-house. You’ve met Sienna. You hang out with Sarah and you know what she does to pay her tuition. You’ve seen the people I used to spend my time with. None of this should come as a shock. I can’t keep apologizing for shit I did before I knew you.” My stomach churned as the words spilled out. I was so damn tired of looking at my past and justifying why I did the things I did.

“I’m not asking you to apologize.”

“Then what are you asking for?”

“I just want . . .”

“What, Tenley? What do you want? Do you want to take this down to base needs? Do you want me to be the person you fuck and nothing else? Am I too complicated for you? If so, I’m not sure I can be that accommodating, because my stupid fucking feelings will get in the way. I’m sorry if that’s an inconvenience for you.”

Tenley looked horrified. “That’s ludicrous. What would make you think that’s what I want?”

I rubbed my temple. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the way you tried to get me to fuck you as soon as we stopped fighting last night. Or the way you ended up naked in my bed this morning, looking for more of the same.” Even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t fair.

“You can’t be serious! I ended up in your bed because you were having a nightmare, not so you would fuck me. I missed you. I wanted to be with you because of how I feel about you, not because I wanted an orgasm.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard to know with you,” I snapped. “This shit is all I know, Tenley. The fighting and the fucking, it’s what Sienna used to do. She’d push my goddamn buttons until I went off, and then she’d let me fuck all the anger out. This whole scenario is too damn familiar.”

What Tenley and I had was about more than sex, but I couldn’t seem to get a handle on my emotions. Or my fears.

This wasn’t how I’d thought things would go this evening. We were supposed to get my car, have a quick bite, and I’d head back to work. Then I’d invite her over at the end of the night to hang out. I hadn’t expected a fight in her dead fiancé’s car, incited by a make-out session.

“I’m sorry Sienna did that to you, but I’m not her. Sometimes people have sex after they argue to connect, not just to get off. That’s what I wanted—not control, or payback, or anything sinister.” Tenley reached out, but when I shifted away, she retracted her hand. “I was terrified you’d go back to Sienna while I was gone. Or find someone else to replace me. I worried about that all the time.”

“First of all, you’re not replaceable. And you think I didn’t worry about the same thing? I kept going over what I could have done differently to keep you with me.”

“I never wanted anyone but you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that? You told me to leave, for fuck sake! Maybe if you’d made some attempt to contact me, I wouldn’t have been in hell for the past few weeks. One phone call would have been enough.”

“I told you why I didn’t—”

I raised a hand and cut her off. “I know you had your reasons, except you aren’t the only one who was affected by your decisions. We both have fucked-up pasts. There’s nothing simple about what’s going on between us. I’m trying to let this shit go, but you’ve been back less than twenty-four hours. Beyond that, if you can’t get over the things I’ve done, then maybe this isn’t going to work.”

“What are you saying?” I could feel her anxiety. It rivaled mine and I felt awful for the spike of satisfaction. Tenley hadn’t asked for her past, any more than I’d asked for mine.

“I don’t know. I think maybe we need to slow things down. Start over, or whatever.”

“Are you asking for space?”

“No. I think maybe we need to back things up a bit. My head’s all messed up over this, and as much as I want to be with you, I’m not sure it’s a good thing for me right now.”

“Be with me?” Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel and her eyes flared with panic. “As in . . . ?”

“As in sex. We need to put that on hold.”

Her grip loosened, but the frown of worry remained. “Indefinitely?”

Based on previous experience, I doubted I’d last more than a couple of weeks, at best. I wasn’t telling her that, though. “For a while. We need to sort through our shit before I can go there again. It makes me feel too much, and I can’t handle it.”

“Okay. If that’s what you think is best.”

I pinned her with a glare. “I’ve heard that before. Don’t make this hard for me. It won’t help either of us, and it’ll just make me more pissed at you.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

* * *

We had just enough time to retrieve my car from the impound lot and book it back to Inked Armor. Tenley paid the fee because she felt responsible for my car’s being towed in the first place. Afterward, I gave her the keys to my place because she wanted to check on TK. She hadn’t asked to take her home yet and I wasn’t going to bring it up. I wasn’t all that keen on parting with her, but I would if that was what Tenley wanted. Which made me a huge sucker and irritated the fuck out of me.

Nate showed up at six on the dot, and at his request we went over the sketches in one of the private rooms. It meant he wanted to interrogate me, much like everyone else.

“Cassie tells me Tenley came home,” he said as he sifted through the photos in his file and the drawings I’d done based on our design discussion.

“Yeah.”

“How’s that going?”

“All right.”

He looked up from the paper in his hand.

“Things are a little tense.”

“I’m sure they are. You want to talk about it?”

“Nah, I’m all talked out today.”

Nate let it go. He narrowed it down to two sketches and pointed out the things he liked about both of them. It would be easy enough to merge them into one drawing. I asked him for a week to work on it and we scheduled a follow-up appointment.

“Have the nightmares let up at all?” Nate asked as I returned the sketches to his folder with the notes we made.

“Not so much.”

“So they’re getting worse?”

I frowned. “How would you know that?”

“Lots of stress in your life. Tenley’s leaving would echo the loss of your parents, and the loss of control.”

“Yeah, well, maybe now that she’s back it’ll get better.”

I didn’t think that would be true, though. The nightmares had worsened over the past few weeks and were increasingly vivid. I had new dreams beyond the one where I found my parents’ bodies, and the ones where Tenley replaced them. Some were definitely memories. Others were less clear. The newest ones creeped me right out.

“Did you ever see the crime scene photos?” I asked before I lost my nerve.

“No. But I know you did,” he replied cautiously.

I nodded slowly, mulling over what I’d seen and what I remembered. It was so long ago, and I’d been so fucked up. “All the art from my parents’ house, is it in the storage unit?”

“I haven’t gotten rid of anything, so I assume so. What’s this about? Was there a piece you wanted? I could come with you.”

“I don’t know. Do you remember if they ever took one for evidence?” It was such a hazy time for me. Nothing about those months after my parents’ deaths was clear, apart from haunting images of their dead bodies and parts of the interrogation afterward.

“I don’t believe so. Is it something you’d like to look into?”

“Do you remember the angel?”

“Pardon?” Nate’s confusion was obvious.

“I could have sworn it was on the floor, but it wasn’t in any of the crime scene photos.” Even as I said it, I started to second-guess myself. Memories weren’t always reliable.

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.” Nate leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.

The intensity in the way he regarded me made me uneasy and I shut down. I was probably misremembering, and I sounded like a mental case. “It’s nothing, just part of a stupid dream. Never mind.”

“Are you recalling things you didn’t before? It’s not uncommon for that to happen years after a trauma occurs. I could set you up with someone to talk to about it, if you don’t feel comfortable with me—”

“Don’t start, Nate—”

“Hear me out before you say no. I know this woman. She’s easy to talk to.” When I interrupted, he talked over me. “All I’m suggesting is that you give it a shot. It’s just one hour. There’s no obligation beyond that. If you don’t like her, or it’s not for you, then I’ll drop it.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said, mostly to shut him up.

“You do that.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “If you decide you want to go to the storage unit for whatever reason, or you feel like taking me up on my offer, just call. Otherwise, I’ll see you next week.”

“Later, Nate.” I shuffled the sketches to avoid further eye contact as he left.

I still wasn’t sold on the idea. All that talking would resurrect my shitty past. I didn’t see the benefit in sifting through the sludge just so someone with a PhD in head-fucking could tell me I had PTSD. Labeling it wouldn’t make it go away.