Текст книги "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Автор книги: Erika Leonard James
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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 28 страниц) [доступный отрывок для чтения: 11 страниц]
owe you an orgasm.”
Orgasm! Another one!
Quickly, he clambers out of the bath, giving me my first full glimpse of the Adonis, di-
vinely formed, that is Christian Grey. My inner goddess has stopped dancing and is staring
too, mouth open and drooling slightly. His erection tamed, but still substantial… wow. He
wraps a small towel around his waist, covering the essentials, and holds out a larger fluffy
white towel for me. Climbing out of the bath, I take his proffered hand. He wraps me in
the towel, pulls me into his arms, and kisses me hard, pushing his tongue into my mouth.
I long to reach round and embrace him… touch him… but he has my arms trapped in the
towel. I’m soon lost in his kiss. He cradles my head, his tongue exploring my mouth, and
I get a sense he’s expressing his gratitude – maybe – for my first blowjob? Whoa?
He pulls away, his hands on either side of my face, staring intently into my eyes. He
looks lost.
“Say yes,” he whispers fervently.
I frown, not understanding.
“To what?”
“Yes to our arrangement. To being mine. Please, Ana,” he whispers, emphasizing the
last word and my name, pleading. He kisses me again, sweetly, passionately, before he
stands back and stares at me, blinking slightly. He takes my hand and leads me back to
his bedroom, leaving me reeling, so I follow him meekly. Stunned. He really wants this.
In his bedroom, he stares down at me as we stand by his bed.
“Trust me?” he asks suddenly. I nod, wide-eyed with the sudden realization that I do
trust him. What’s he going to do to me now?An electric thrill hums through me.
“Good girl,” he breathes, his thumb brushing my bottom lip. He steps away into his
closet and comes back with a silver-grey silk woven tie.
“Knit your hands together in front of you,” he orders as he peels the towel off me and
throws it on the floor.
I do as he asks, and he binds my wrists together with his tie, knotting it firmly. His
eyes are bright with wild excitement. He tugs at the binding. It’s secure. Some boy scout
he must have been to learn these knots.What now? My pulse has gone through the roof,
my heart beating a frantic tattoo. He runs his fingers down my pigtails.
“You look so young with these,” he murmurs and moves forward. Instinctively, I move
back until I feel the bed against the back of my knees. He drops his towel, but I can’t take
my eyes off his face. His expression is ardent, full of desire.
“Oh, Anastasia, what shall I do to you?” he whispers as he lowers me on to the bed,
lying beside me, and raising my hands above my head.
“Keep your hands up here, don’t move them, understand?” His eyes burn into mine,
and I’m breathless from their intensity. This is not a man I want to cross… ever.
“Answer me,” he demands, his voice soft.
“I won’t move my hands.” I’m breathless.
“Good girl,” he murmurs and deliberately licks his lips slowly. I’m mesmerized by
his tongue as it sweeps slowly over his upper lip. He’s staring into my eyes, watching me,
appraising. He leans down and plants a chaste, swift kiss on my lips.
“I’m going to kiss you all over, Miss Steele,” he says softly, and he cups my chin, push-
ing it up giving him access to my throat. His lips glide down my throat, kissing, sucking,
and nipping, to the small dip at the base of my neck. My body leaps to attention… every-
where. My recent bath experience has made my skin hyper-sensitive. My heated blood
pools low in my belly, between my legs, right down there.I groan.
I want to touch him. I move my hands and rather awkwardly, given I’m restrained, feel
his hair. He stops kissing me and glares up at me, shaking his head from side to side, tutting
as he does. He reaches for my hands and places them above my head again.
“Don’t move your hands, or we just have to start all over again,” he scolds me mildly.
Oh, he’s such a tease.
“I want to touch you.” My voice is all breathy and out of control.
“I know,” he murmurs. “Keep your hands above your head,” he orders, his voice
forceful.
He cups my chin again and starts to kiss my throat as before. Oh… he’s so frustrating.
His hands run down my body and over my breasts as he reaches the dip at the base of my
neck with his lips. He swirls the tip of his nose around it then begins a very leisurely cruise
with his mouth, heading south, following the path of his hands, down my sternum to my
breasts. Each one is kissed and nipped gently and my nipples tenderly sucked. Holy crap.
My hips start swaying and moving of their own accord, grinding to the rhythm of his mouth
on me, and I’m desperately trying to remember to keep my hands above my head.
“Keep still,” he warns, his breath warm against my skin. Reaching my navel, he dips
his tongue inside, and then gently grazes my belly with his teeth. My body bows off the
bed.“Hmm. You are so sweet, Miss Steele.” His nose glides along the line between my
belly and my pubic hair, biting me gently, teasing me with his tongue. Sitting up suddenly,
he kneels at my feet, grasping both my ankles and spreading my legs wide.
Holy shit.He grabs my left foot, bends my knee, and brings my foot up to his mouth.
Watching and assessing my every reaction, he tenderly kisses each of my toes then bites
each one of them softly on the pads. When he reaches my little toe, he bites harder, and I
convulse, whimpering. He glides his tongue up my instep – and I can no longer watch him.
It’s too erotic. I’m going to combust. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to absorb and man-
age all the sensations he’s creating. He kisses my ankle and trails kisses up my calf to my
knee, stopping just above. He then starts on my right foot, repeating the whole, seductive,
mind-blowing process.
“Oh, please,” I moan as he bites my little toe, the action resonating deep in my belly.
“All good things, Miss Steele,” he breathes.
This time he doesn’t stop at my knee, he continues up the inside of my thigh, pushing
my thighs apart as he does. And I know what he’s going to do, and part of me wants to
push him off because I’m mortified and embarrassed. He’s going to kiss me there!I know
it. And part of me is glorying in the anticipation. He turns to my other knee and kisses
his way up my thigh, kissing, licking, sucking, and then he’s between my legs, running his
nose up and down my sex, very softly, very gently. I writhe… oh my.
He stops, waiting for me to calm. I do and raise my head to gaze at him, my mouth
open as my pounding heart struggles to come out.
“Do you know how intoxicating you smell, Miss Steele?” he murmurs, and keeping his
eyes on mine, he pushes his nose into my pubic hair and inhales.
I flush scarlet, everywhere, feeling faint, and I instantly close my eyes. I can’t watch
him do that!
He blows gently up the length of my sex. Oh fuck…
“I like this.” He gently tugs at my pubic hair. “Perhaps we’ll keep this.”
“Oh… please,” I beg.
“Hmm, I like it when you beg me, Anastasia.”
I groan.
“Tit for tat is not my usual style, Miss Steele,” he whispers as he gently blows up and
down me. “But you’ve pleased me today, and you should be rewarded.” I hear the wicked
grin in his voice, and while my body is singing from his words, his tongue starts to slowly
circle my clitoris as his hands hold down my thighs.
“Aargh!” I moan as my body bows and convulses at the touch of his tongue.
He swirls his tongue round and round, again and again, keeping up the torture. I’m
losing all sense of self, every atom of my being concentrating hard on that small, potent
powerhouse at the apex of my thighs. My legs go rigid, and he slips his finger inside me,
and I hear his growling groan.
“Oh, baby. I love that you’re so wet for me.”
He moves his finger in a wide circle, stretching me, pulling at me, his tongue mirroring
his actions, round and round, I groan. It is too much… My body begs for relief, and I can
no longer deny it. I let go, losing all cogent thought as my orgasm seizes me, wringing my
insides again and again. Holy fuck.I cry out, and the world dips and disappears from view
as the force of my climax renders everything null and void.
I am panting and vaguely hear the rip of foil. Very slowly he eases into me and starts
to move. Oh… my. The feeling is sore and sweet, and bold and gentle all at once.
“How’s this?” he breathes.
“Fine. Good,” I breathe. And he really starts to move, fast, hard, and large, thrusting
into me over and over, implacable, pushing me and pushing me until I am close to the edge
again. I whimper.
“Come for me, baby.” His voice is harsh, hard, raw at my ear, and I explode around him
as he pounds rapidly into me.
“Thank fuck,” he whispers, and he thrusts hard once more and groans as he reaches his
climax, pressing himself into me. Then he stills, his body rigid.
Collapsing on top of me, I feel his full weight forcing me into the mattress. I pull my
tied hands over his neck and hold him the best I can. I know in that moment that I would
do anything for this man. I am his. The wonder that he’s introduced me to, it’s beyond
anything I could have imagined. And he wants to take it further, so much further, to a place
I can’t, in my innocence, even imagine. Oh… what to do?
He leans up on his elbows and stares down at me, gray eyes intense.
“See how good we are together,” he murmurs. “If you give yourself to me, it will be
so much better. Trust me, Anastasia, I can take you places you don’t even know exist.”
His words echo my thoughts. He strokes his nose against mine. I am still reeling from my
extraordinary physical reaction to him, and I gaze up at him blankly, grasping for a coher-
ent thought.
Suddenly we both become aware of voices in the hall outside his bedroom door. It
takes a moment to process what I can hear.
“But if he’s still in bed, then he must be ill. He’s never in bed at this time. Christian
never sleeps in.”
“Mrs. Grey, please.”
“Taylor. You cannot keep me from my son.”
“Mrs. Grey, he’s not alone.”
“What do you mean he’s not alone?”
“He has someone with him.”
“ Oh… ”Even I hear the disbelief in her voice.
Christian blinks rapidly, staring down at me, wide-eyed with humored horror.
“Shit! It’s my mother.”
He pulls out of me suddenly. I wince. He sits up on the bed and throws the used condom
in a wastebasket.
“Come on, we need to get dressed – that’s if you want to meet my mother.” He grins,
leaps up off the bed, and pulls on his jeans, no underwear! I struggle to sit up as I’m still
tethered.
“Christian – I can’t move.”
His grin widens, and leaning down, he undoes the tie. The woven pattern has made an
indented pattern around my wrists. It’s… sexy. He gazes at me. He’s amused, his eyes
dancing with mirth. He kisses my forehead quickly and beams at me.
“Another first,” he acknowledges, but I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“I have no clean clothes in here.” I am filled with sudden panic, and considering what
I’ve just experienced, I’m finding the panic overwhelming. His mother! Holy crap.I
have no clean clothes, and she’s practically walked in on us in flagrante delicto. “Perhaps
I should stay here.”
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Christian threatens. “You can wear something of mine.” He’s
slipped on a white t-shirt and runs his hand through his just-fucked hair. In spite of my
anxiety, I lose my train of thought. Will I ever get used to looking at this beautiful man?
His beauty is derailing.
“Anastasia, you could be wearing a sack and you’d look lovely. Please don’t worry.
I’d like you to meet my mother. Get dressed. I’ll just go and calm her down.” His mouth
presses into a hard line. “I will expect you in that room in five minutes, otherwise I’ll come
and drag you out of here myself in whatever you’re wearing. My t-shirts are in this drawer.
My shirts are in the closet. Help yourself.” He eyes me speculatively for a moment, then
leaves the room.
Holy shit. Christian’s mother.This is so much more than I bargained for. Perhaps
meeting her will help put a little part of the jigsaw in place. Might help me understand why
Christian is the way he is… Suddenly, I want to meet her. I pull my shirt off the floor, and
I’m pleased to discover that it has survived the night well with hardly any creases. I find
my blue bra under the bed and dress quickly. But if there’s one thing I hate, it’s not wearing
clean panties. I rifle through Christian’s chest of drawers and come across his boxer briefs.
After pulling on a pair of tight gray Calvin Kleins, I tug on my jeans and my Converse.
Grabbing my jacket, I dash into the bathroom and stare at my too-bright eyes, my
flushed face – and my hair! Holy crap… just-fucked pigtails do not suit me either. I hunt
in the vanity unit for a brush and find a comb. It will have to do. A ponytail is the only
answer. I despair at my clothes. Maybe I should take Christian up on his offer of clothes.
My subconscious purses her lips and mouths the word ‘ho’. I ignore her. Struggling into
my jacket, pleased that the cuffs cover the tell-tale patterns from his tie, I take a last anxious
glance at myself in the mirror. This will have to do. I make my way into the main living
room.
“Here she is.” Christian stands from where he’s lounging on the couch.
His expression is warm and appreciative. The sandy-haired woman beside him turns
and beams at me, a full megawatt smile. She stands too. She’s impeccably attired in a
camel-colored fine knit sweater dress with matching shoes. She looks groomed, elegant,
beautiful, and inside I die a little, knowing I look such a mess.
“Mother, this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia, this is Grace Trevelyan-Grey.”
Dr. Trevelyan-Grey holds her hand out to me. T… for Trevelyan?
“What a pleasure to meet you,” she murmurs. If I’m not mistaken, there is wonder and
maybe stunned relief in her voice and a warm glow in her hazel eyes. I grasp her hand, and
I can’t help but smile, returning her warmth.
“Dr. Trevelyan-Grey,” I murmur.
“Call me Grace,” she grins, and Christian frowns. “I am usually Dr. Trevelyan, and
Mrs. Grey is my mother-in-law.” She winks. “So how did you two meet?” She looks ques-
tioningly at Christian, unable to hide her curiosity.
“Anastasia interviewed me for the student paper at WSU because I’m conferring the
degrees there this week.”
Double crap.I’d forgotten that.
“So you are graduating this week?” Grace asks.
“Yes.”
My cell phone starts ringing. Kate, I bet.
“Excuse me.” It’s in the kitchen. I wander over and lean across the breakfast bar, not
checking the number.
“Kate.”
“Dios mio! Ana!” Holy crap, it’s José.He sounds desperate. “Where are you? I’ve
been trying to contact you. I need to see you, to apologize for my behavior on Friday. Why
haven’t you returned my calls?”
“Look José, now’s not a good time.” I glance anxiously over at Christian who’s watch-
ing me intently, his face impassive as he murmurs something to his mom. I turn my back
to him.
“Where are you? Kate is being so evasive,” he whines.
“I’m in Seattle.”
“What are you doing in Seattle? Are you with him?”
“José, I’ll call you later. I can’t talk to you now.” I hang up.
I walk as nonchalantly back to Christian and his mother. Grace is in full flow.
“… And Elliot called to say you were around – I haven’t seen you for two weeks,
darling.”
“Did he now?” Christian murmurs, gazing at me, his expression unreadable.
“I thought we might have lunch together, but I can see you have other plans, and I don’t
want to interrupt your day.” She gathers up her long cream coat and turns to him, offering
him her cheek. He kisses her briefly, sweetly. She doesn’t touch him.
“I have to drive Anastasia back to Portland.”
“Of course, darling. Anastasia, it’s been such a pleasure. I do hope we meet again.”
She holds her hand out to me, her eyes glowing, and we shake.
Taylor appears from… where?
“Mrs. Grey?” he asks.
“Thank you, Taylor.” He escorts her from the room and through the double doors to the
foyer. Taylor was here the whole time? How long has he been here? Where has he been?
Christian glares at me.
“So the photographer called?”
Crap.
“Yes.”
“What did he want?”
“Just to apologize, you know – for Friday.”
Christian narrows his eyes.
“I see,” he says simply.
Taylor reappears.
“Mr. Grey, there’s an issue with the Darfur shipment.”
Christian nods curtly at him.
“Charlie Tango back at Boeing Field?”
“Yes sir.”
Taylor nods at me.
“Miss Steele.”
I smile tentatively back at him, and he turns and leaves.
“Does he live here? Taylor?”
“Yes.” His tone is clipped. What is his problem?
Christian heads over to the kitchen and picks up his BlackBerry, scrolling through
some emails, I assume. His mouth presses in a hard line, and he makes a call.
“Ros, what’s the issue?” he snaps. He listens, watching me, gray eyes speculative, as
I stand in the middle of the huge room wondering what to do with myself, feeling extraor-
dinarily self-conscious and out of place.
“I’m not having either crew put at risk. No, cancel… We’ll air drop instead… Good.”
He hangs up. The warmth in his eyes has disappeared. He looks forbidding, and with one
quick glance at me, he heads into his study and returns a moment later.
“This is the contract. Read it, and we’ll discuss it next weekend. May I suggest you do
some research, so you know what’s involved.” He pauses. “That’s if you agree, and I really
hope you do.” He adds, his tone softer, anxious.
“Research?”
“You’ll be amazed what you can find on the Internet,” he murmurs.
Internet! I don’t have access to a computer, only Kate’s laptop, and I couldn’t use Clay-
ton’s, not for this sort of ‘research’ surely?
“What is it?” he asks, cocking his head to one side.
“I don’t have a computer. I’ll see if I can use Kate’s laptop.”
He hands me a manila envelope.
“I’m sure I can… err, lend you one. Grab your things, we’ll drive back to Portland and
grab some lunch on the way. I need to dress.”
“I’ll just make a call,” I murmur. I just want to hear Kate’s voice. He frowns.
“The photographer?” His jaw clenches, and his eyes burn. I blink at him. “I don’t like
to share, Miss Steele. Remember that.” His quiet, chilling tone is a warning, and with one
long, cold look at me, he heads back to the bedroom.
Holy crap. I just wanted to call Kate,I want to call after him, but his sudden aloofness
has left me paralyzed. What happened to the generous, relaxed, smiling man who was
making love to me not half an hour ago?
“Ready?” Christian asks as we stand by the double doors to the foyer.
I nod uncertainly. He’s resumed his distant, polite, uptight persona, his mask back up
and on show. He’s carrying a leather messenger bag. Why does he need that? Perhaps he’s
staying in Portland, and then I remember graduation. Oh yes… he’ll be there on Thursday.
He’s wearing a black leather jacket. He certainly doesn’t look like the multi-multi million-
aire, billionaire, what-ever-aire, in these clothes. He looks like a boy from the wrong side
of the tracks, maybe a badly behaved rock star or a catwalk model. I sigh inwardly, wish-
ing I had a tenth of his poise. He’s so calm and controlled. I frown, recalling his outburst
about José… Well, he seems to be.
Taylor is hovering in the background.
“Tomorrow then,” he says to Taylor who nods.
“Yes sir. Which car are you taking, sir?”
He looks down at me briefly.
“The R8.”
“Safe trip, Mr. Grey. Miss Steele.” Taylor looks kindly at me, though perhaps there’s
a hint of pity hidden in the depths of his eyes.
No doubt he thinks I’ve succumbed to Mr. Grey’s dubious sexual habits. Not yet,
just his exceptional sexual habits, or perhaps sex is like that for everyone. I frown at the
thought. I have no comparison, and I can’t ask Kate. That’s something I am going to have
to address with Christian. It’s perfectly natural that I should talk to someone – and I can’t
talk to him if he is so open one minute and so standoffish the next.
Taylor holds the door open for us and ushers us through. Christian summons the eleva-
tor. “What is it, Anastasia?” he asks. How does he know I’m chewing something over in
my mind? He reaches up and pulls my chin.
“Stop biting your lip, or I will fuck you in the elevator, and I don’t care who gets in
with us.”
I blush, but there’s a hint of a smile around his lips, finally his mood seems to be shift-
ing.“Christian, I have a problem.”
“Oh?” I have his full attention.
The elevator arrives. We walk in, and Christian presses the button marked G.
“Well,” I flush. How to say this?“I need to talk to Kate. I’ve so many questions about
sex, and you’re too involved. If you want me to do all these things, how do I know–?” I
pause, struggling to find the right words. “I just don’t have any terms of reference.”
He rolls his eyes at me.
“Talk to her if you must.” He sounds exasperated. “Make sure she doesn’t mention
anything to Elliot.”
I bristle at his insinuation. Kate isn’t like that.
“She wouldn’t do that, and I wouldn’t tell you anything she tells me about Elliot – if
she were to tell me anything,” I add quickly.
“Well, the difference is that I don’t want to know about his sex life,” Christian mur-
murs dryly. “Elliot’s a nosy bastard. But only about what we’ve done so far,” he warns.
“She’d probably have my balls if she knew what I wanted to do to you,” he adds so softly
I’m not sure I’m supposed to hear it.
“Okay,” I agree readily, smiling up at him, relieved. The thought of Kate with Chris-
tian’s balls is not something I want to dwell on.
His lip quirks up at me, and he shakes his head.
“The sooner I have your submission the better, and we can stop all this,” he murmurs.
“Stop all what?”
“You, defying me.” He reaches down and cups my chin and plants a swift, sweet kiss
on my lips as the doors to the elevator open. He grabs my hand and leads me into the un-
derground garage.
Me, defying him… how?
Beside the elevator, I can see the black 4x4 Audi, but it’s the sleek, black sporty num-
ber that blips open and lights up when he points the key fob at it. It’s one of those cars that
should have a very leggy blonde, wearing nothing but a sash, sprawled across the hood.
“Nice car,” I murmur dryly.
He glances up and grins.
“I know,” he says, and for a split second, sweet, young, carefree Christian is back. It
warms my heart. He’s so excited. Boys and their toys.I roll my eyes at him but can’t stifle
my smile. He opens the door for me and I climb in. Whoa… it’s low. He moves round the
car with easy grace and folds his long frame elegantly in beside me . How does he do that?
“So what sort of car is this?”
“It’s an Audi R8 Spyder. It’s a lovely day, we can take the top down. There’s a baseball
cap in there. In fact there should be two.” He points to the glove box. “And sunglasses if
you want them.”
He starts the ignition, and the engine roars behind us. He places his bag in the space
behind our seats, presses a button, and the roof slowly reclines. With the flick of a switch,
Bruce Springsteen surrounds us.
“Gotta love Bruce,” he grins at me and eases the car out of the parking space, and up
the steep ramp where we pause for the barrier.
Then we’re out into the bright Seattle May morning. I reach into the glove box and
retrieve the baseball caps. The Mariners. He likes baseball? I pass him a cap, and he puts
it on. I pass my ponytail through the back of mine and pull the peak down low.
People stare at us as we drive through the streets. For a moment, I think it’s at him…
and then a very paranoid part thinks everyone is looking at me because they know what
I’ve been doing during the last twelve hours, but finally, I realize it’s the car. Christian
seems oblivious, lost in thought.
The traffic is light and we’re soon on the I-5 heading south, the wind sweeping over
our heads. Bruce is singing about being on fire and his desire. How apt. I flush as I listen
to the words. Christian glances at me. He’s got his Ray-Bans on so I can’t see what he’s
thinking. His mouth twitches slightly, and he reaches across and places his hand on my
knee, squeezing gently. My breath hitches.
“Hungry?” he asks.
Not for food.
“Not particularly.”
His mouth tightens into that hard line.
“You must eat, Anastasia,” he chides. “I know a great place near Olympia. We’ll stop
there.” He squeezes my knee again, and then returns his hand to the steering wheel as he
puts his foot down on the gas. I’m pressed into the back of my seat. Boy this car can move.
The restaurant is small and intimate, a wooden chalet in the middle of a forest. The
décor is rustic: random chairs and tables with gingham tablecloths, wild flowers in little
vases. Cuisine Sauvage,it boasts above the door.
“I’ve not been here for a while. We don’t get a choice – they cook whatever they’ve
caught or gathered.” He raises his eyebrows in mock horror, and I have to laugh. The
waitress takes our drinks order. She flushes when she sees Christian, avoiding eye contact
with him, hiding under her long blonde bangs. She likes him! It’s not just me!
“Two glasses of the Pinot Grigio,” Christian says with a voice of authority. I purse my
lips, exasperated.
“What?” he snaps.
“I wanted a Diet Coke,” I whisper.
His gray eyes narrow, and he shakes his head.
“The Pinot Grigio here’s a decent wine, it will go well with the meal, whatever we get.”
He says patiently.
“Whatever we get?”
“Yes.” He smiles, his dazzling, head cocked to one side smile, and my stomach pole
vaults over my spleen. I can’t help but reflect his glorious smile back at him.
“My mother liked you,” he says dryly.
“Really?” His words make me flush with pleasure.
“Oh yes. She’s always thought I was gay.”
My mouth drops open, and I remember that question… from the interview. Oh no.
“Why did she think you were gay?” I whisper.
“Because she’s never seen me with a girl.”
“Oh… not even one of the fifteen?”
He smiles.
“You remembered. No, none of the fifteen.”
“Oh.”
“You know, Anastasia, it’s been a weekend of firsts for me, too,” he says quietly.
“It has?”
“I’ve never slept with anyone, never had sex in my bed, never flown a girl in Charlie
Tango, never introduced a woman to my mother. What are you doing to me?” His eyes
burn, their intensity takes my breath away.
The waitress arrives with our glasses of wine, and I immediately take a quick sip. Is
he opening up or just making a casual observation?
“I’ve really enjoyed this weekend,” I murmur. He narrows his eyes at me again.
“Stop biting that lip,” he growls. “Me too,” he adds.
“What’s vanilla sex?” I ask, if anything to distract myself from the intense, burning,
sexy look he’s giving me. He laughs.
“Just straightforward sex, Anastasia. No toys, no added extras.” He shrugs. “You
know… well actually you don’t, but that’s what it means.”
“Oh.” I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the
top. But hey, what do I know?
The waitress brings us soup. We both stare at it rather dubiously.
“Nettle soup,” the waitress informs us before turning and flouncing back into the kitch-
en. I don’t think she likes to be ignored by Christian. I take a tentative taste. It’s delicious.
Christian and I look up at each other at the same time with relief. I giggle, and he cocks
his head to one side.
“That’s a lovely sound,” he murmurs.
“Why have you never had vanilla sex before? Have you always done… err, what
you’ve done?” I ask, intrigued.
He nods slowly.
“Sort of.” His voice is wary. He frowns for a moment and seems to be engaged in
some kind of internal struggle. Then he glances up, a decision made. “One of my mother’s
friends seduced me when I was fifteen.”
“Oh.” Holy shit that’s young!
“She had very particular tastes. I was her submissive for six years.” He shrugs.
“Oh.” My brain has frozen, stunned into inactivity by this admission.
“So I do know what it involves, Anastasia.” His eyes glow with insight.
I stare at him, unable to articulate anything – even my subconscious is silent.
“I didn’t really have a run-of-the-mill introduction to sex.”
Curiosity kicks in big time.
“So you never dated anyone at college?”
“No.” He shakes his head to emphasize the point.
The waitress takes our plates, interrupting us for a moment.
“Why?” I ask when she’s gone.
He smiles sardonically.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t want to. She was all I wanted, needed. And besides, she’d have beaten the
shit out of me.” He smiles fondly at the memory.
Oh, this is way too much information –but I want more.
“So if she was a friend of your mother’s, how old was she?”
He smirks.
“Old enough to know better.”
“Do you still see her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you still… err… ?” I flush.
“No.” He shakes his head and smiles indulgently at me. “She’s a very good friend.”
“Oh. Does your mother know?”
He gives me a don’t-be-stupid stare.
“Of course not.”
The waitress returns with venison, but my appetite has vanished. What a revelation.
Christian the submissive… Holy shit.I take a large slug of Pinot Grigio – he’s right, of
course, it’s delicious. Jeez, all these revelations, it’s so much to think about. I need time
to process this, when I’m on my own, not when I’m distracted by his presence. He’s so
overwhelming, so Alpha Male, and now he’s thrown this bombshell into the equation. He
knows what it’s like.
“But it can’t have been full time?” I’m confused.
“Well, it was, though I didn’t see her all the time. It was… difficult. After all, I was
still at school and then at college. Eat up, Anastasia.”
“I’m really not hungry, Christian.” I am reeling from your disclosure.
His expression hardens.
“Eat,” he says quietly, too quietly.
I stare at him. This man – sexually abused as an adolescent – his tone is so threatening.
“Give me a moment,” I mutter quietly. He blinks a couple of times.
“Okay,” he murmurs, and he continues with his meal.
This is what it will be like if I sign, him ordering me around. I frown. Do I want this?
Reaching for my knife and fork, I tentatively cut into the venison. It’s very tasty.
“Is this what our err… relationship will be like?” I whisper. “You, ordering me
around?” I can’t quite bring myself to look at him.
“Yes,” he murmurs.
“I see.”
“And what’s more, you’ll want me to,” he adds, his voice low.
I sincerely doubt that.I slice another piece of venison, holding it against my mouth.
“It’s a big step,” I murmur and eat.
