Текст книги "Whipped"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Lee

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Holy shit.

Never in my life had I felt what I just felt with the gorgeous blonde currently wrapped up in my arms. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I felt her come. Her body clenching to mine like it was dependent on it for life. My desperate desire to make her feel good had been reciprocated. Her touch. Her kiss. The way she’d reacted to every move I made. It was like she was made just for me. Meant just for me.

Maybe the reason I’d never had a relationship with anyone else was because I hadn’t met her yet. As we laid together that night, I couldn’t fall asleep. I didn’t want to stop watching her sleep or feeling her in my arms. I was afraid if I did, I might wake up and find that what we just shared hadn’t happened. I didn’t want the night to end.

The feelings I was having for her went beyond amazing sex. She was sweet and kind and everything I never knew I wanted. I should have known better. I was glad that we’d already squashed the whole let’s keep it casual thing, because it was completely out of the question now. I was restless with my thoughts.

What do I do now?

Do I tell her I love her?

Was it really love?

Jesus. I might as well have pulled on a pair of Spanx and busted out a carton of Ben & Jerry’s. I was emotional enough for ten women. The ache in my chest—the ache that I felt when I thought about how badly I needed her to have the same feelings—dulled when she turned in my arms to face me. Her cheek pressed against my chest as my lips found her forehead. The minutes faded into hours and before I could rationalize a single thing I was thinking, the sun was peeking through the blinds. There I was, tangled up with her and still wide awake while she slept soundly. The sleepy grin on her face only added to my confusion. I wanted every sunrise to start with her being the first thing I saw.

I brushed her cheek slowly with my hand, not wanting to wake her but unable to stop myself.

“Mmm...” she mumbled with her eyes still closed. I felt her fingertips trail down my chest as she pressed her lips against my skin. For a moment, I thought she was still sleeping. “Well, hello,” she said as she wrapped her hand around my cock. Her slender fingers stroked up and then back down slowly. I drew in a slow breath and enjoyed the sensation of her naked body pressed against mine as her hand continued its movement. I felt my cock throb under her touch and become harder than I even knew was possible.

“I’m going to have to sleep over more often,” I said, pretending that I’d been asleep alongside her, both of us just waking up from a peaceful night’s sleep.

“You just might,” she replied as I tipped her face up to mine. The soft morning light illuminated her just enough that I could find her lips with mine. Not that I needed it. I’d memorized every inch of her as I watched her sleep. From the freckles on the bridge of her nose to the tiny little scar above her left eye. Each imperfection was perfect to me. Each mark made her who she was, which happened to be the first woman I had ever loved.

I swallowed back the new insecurities I had about not being enough for her and kissed her like it might be the last time. Our hands explored each other’s bodies. Our movements were unrushed and meaningful. It wasn’t like the night before where we couldn’t wait. We were taking our time. I loved that she was so interested. It had me feeling a little less like she was going to tell me to bounce and a lot like she really did want me to stay.

With our mouths still fused on each other’s, she crawled on top of me, resting a knee on each side of my body. The covers fell from her body as she sat up, breaking the connection of our mouths. I could feel the heat of her pussy on my lap. She rose up and slipped her hand between us—guiding me to enter her.

“Should we get condom?” I asked.

“Do we need one?” she said, pausing her movement. “I’m on the pill.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else in months,” I told her. “And I always used protection.” I might have been wild, but I wasn’t completely reckless.

“I trust you,” she smiled, leaning over to kiss me. The feel of her body against mine was one thing, but the feel of her sliding onto me was even better. She straightened back up as she rocked against me. Her head fell back as she found her rhythm. Her tangled blond hair falling against her shoulders and back. Her hands smoothed down her body, her muscles tensing as she caressed her breasts. It was the sexiest thing I’d seen her do yet. Her inhibitions were gone as she just let herself feel.

“Fuck, Georgia,” I said, my voice rough and dry. “That feels so good, baby,” I added, wanting her to continue rocking her hips. My hands found her hips as I helped her glide up and down, back and forth, until neither of us could contain ourselves. I pulled her body to mine, holding her in just the right position to thrust myself deeper inside of her. She contracted around me as I came. The raw, natural feel of our bodies connecting only added to the sensations I felt when her eyes locked on mine. This was it. This was the real thing.

I love her.

* * *

I think a man only has a few defining moments in his lifetime. One is discovering exactly what you were meant to do with your life. I’d found that early on in life. From the moment I kicked the clutch on a dirt bike and felt the rubber grip the ground and propel me into the air, I knew that I was meant to ride motocross.

The second, which I was pretty sure I’d just experienced, was falling in love. It had always seemed like a foreign concept to me. I mean, I got it. I understood the logistics of finding that one person you couldn’t live without, but until I met Georgia Bennett I didn’t think it was a possibility for me.

After we’d made love that morning, Georgia and I had taken a shower together and casually made our way into the kitchen for breakfast. If that day would have ended up being my last day on Earth I would have died a happy man. Luckily, it wasn’t.

“Plans today?” I asked after filling up my mug with coffee for the second time. I’ll admit, I was exhausted, but I’d fuel myself with caffeine if it meant spending the day with her. Both of us had pulled on a pair of sweats and clean t-shirts after our shower. Hers were gray and fitted and much more flattering than the baggy black ones I’d found in the bottom of the bag I grabbed from my truck the night before. When she’d told me that she wasn’t feeling well and we’d left Reid’s parents’ house in a rush, I didn’t have many options. My gym bag had come in handy. Not that I would have minded spending the day naked with her.

“Actually... no.” She seemed surprised. “I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have work or school.”

“Feels good, huh?” I laughed. “I told you taking it easy from time to time was nice.”

“You did.” She walked over to the barstool I’d just claimed as my own and sat herself in my lap. My arms wrapped around her like we’d enjoyed a Saturday breakfast a time or two before. “Any idea what we should do with our day?”

“Oh, I’ve got a few ideas,” I said, nuzzling my face in the crook of her neck. “But I know how important it is to let the body rest before endurance activities,” I added before pressing my mouth against her skin.

“I’ll have you know, I’m in excellent shape.”

“Oh baby, believe me... I know.” The way she took control of me that morning said a whole lot of things about the shape she was in.

“Omigod,” she said, stopping me before I tossed her up on the counter and went for round number three. “I totally forgot about my sister and Reid getting engaged! You think he went through with it?” Before I could tell her there was no way that a Travers had ever chickened out from anything, she jumped from my arms and ran back to her bedroom. When she returned she had her phone and a smile on her face.

“I’m guessing your sister texted you a pic of that big ole rock, huh?”

“She did!” She held up her screen to show me the selfie Nora had snapped of her and her new fiancé. The smiles on their faces were enough to say the night had went according to plan.

“I feel bad that I missed her call,” Georgia said.

“I don’t,” I told her, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to my lap. “Last night might have been the best night of my life. I think your sister will understand.” I had to smile as I told her how I felt. Whatever it was about her that had me so whipped was definitely making me into a bit of sap. And, luckily, she didn’t seem to mind one bit.

“Mine too,” she said, taking my face in her hands. She brushed her thumb over my bottom lip. “I mean it.” My lips puckered and kissed her finger. It was the happiest I’d ever seen her, and it was because of me. Because of us.

Now I just had to figure out a way to keep that smile on her face. Forever if I could.

“I’m so excited for you,” I told my sister as I hugged her tightly. Brett and I had driven over to the cabin later that day to give the happy couple our best. The perma-grin on Nora’s face since we’d walked into the room was only matched by Reid’s. Brett had insisted we grab a six pack on the way over so he and his buddy could have a celebratory drink. The two of them had excused themselves to the back deck to crack open their cold ones.

“I can’t believe it,” Nora said as we watched the guys from the kitchen window.

“I can,” I told her. “I knew the second he came back to town that you were going to get back together. It was only a matter of time before he made it official.” I grabbed her hand and pulled it up to my face to examine her engagement ring once again. “I can’t believe he picked this out on his own. He could have asked me to help.”

“He could have, but you and I both know that you can’t keep a secret.”

“That’s not true. Brett told me last night and I didn’t call you to spoil it.”

“Well, I’m guessing by the glow that’s surrounding you today that you were pretty occupied last night.” She laughed. “How’s that headache?” she teased.

“All better, thank you very much.” I guess my fall back career as an actress was out of the question. My sister and Brett saw right through the facade. It was silly that I faked an illness when I should have just told Brett what I’d heard.

“What was all that about anyway?”

“Misunderstanding. I might have overreacted to a conversation that I wasn’t even supposed to hear. I got a little jealous.” I confessed with a shrug.

“Happens to the best of us. I saw fifty shades of green the first time I saw Reid get swarmed by female fans,” she explained. “But then I remembered he was going home with me.” She held up her hand and pointed at her ring. “Like forever.” There was a moment as I watched my sister look down at her hand in awe where I remembered the day I showed her the ring I had gotten from Jamie. It wasn’t nearly as big or sparkly, but it had meant all of the same things. It was funny to think that only a few years ago our positions were reversed—I was giddily dancing around while she supported me. It was starting to seem like forever ago. I had new opportunities and new memories to look forward to now.

“I think I was more caught off guard by the fact that I actually cared. We were supposed to be just this casual thing, but then I heard him and Reid talking about some Alicia chick and I thought my head was going to spin around.”

“It gets easier,” she said. “Not that I’m an expert by any means, but the closer you and Brett get, and once you see for yourself that it’s just part of the job, you’ll feel better.”

“We’re all better now. I think.” I was glad that I had my sister to turn to. She understood better than I even did what I’d signed up for when I agreed to be with Brett. The Halstead bubble wasn’t going to last forever. He would have to go back to Texas and then back on the road for the next tour. It was only a matter of time. “At least I hope we are, because I’m really enjoying our time together.”

“So...”

“So what?”

“How was it? I know it’s been a while.” She waggled her eyebrow and shoulders simultaneously. I knew exactly what she was talking about. I took a second to glance out the window. Whatever it was that Reid and Brett were discussing had their full attention.

“Better than I remembered,” I confessed. The heat that I felt rising in my body as I stared out the window at him—his mighty fine looking backside facing me—and thought about how only a few hours ago we were naked with each other was all consuming. I cleared my throat and pulled my eyes from him. “It was great,” I turned to my sister. “He was so sweet and attentive. I was worried that I’d forgotten what to do.”

“Like riding a bike,” she joked. “I can’t believe that you actually had sex with Brett Sallinger.”

“I sure did. A couple times.” Omigod, did I.

“It seems that you’ve attained the unattainable, little sister.”

“I guess so.”

“Seriously,” she said. “According to Reid, Brett has never been the settling down type.”

“He told me that,” I replied. “He was really honest about his past.”

“That’s got to mean something. I think it’s great that you two found each other. You deserve to be happy.” She stepped over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

“So do you,” I told her. “I’m really excited for you and Reid.”

“Who knows,” she said, releasing me. “Maybe we’ll be planning two weddings.”

“Let’s not put the bride before the proposal,” I countered. “Seems a bit presumptuous.” I waited for the guilt to wash over me. The guilt that seemed to remind me that I’d already promised myself to someone else. It didn’t come. I didn’t feel anything but grateful for my memories of Jamie. But, it was the past and I was ready to move on. Possibly to the guy I was watching out the window. He must have felt me staring, because he turned and grinned over his shoulder when our eyes locked.

“I don’t know. I saw the way he looked at you. I don’t think that boy has any intentions of letting you go.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Part of me hoped she was. The thought of letting him go didn’t sound too appealing either.

* * *

Brett had agreed to give Reid and Nora the cabin for the rest of their stay in Halstead, which was fine by me. The idea of getting to spend all day and night with him was more than enough to sway my vote. We’d driven up to the new house and said hello to Reid’s parents before heading back to town. They were so grateful for our help in getting their new home all set up.

“They really loved the house,” I said to Brett as we drove along the winding backroads toward Halstead. I didn’t even have to give him directions. He’d been here long enough to know his way around. I wondered if there was even a little part of him that wanted to stay here. With me. “Did you see the look on Mrs. Travers’ face? I didn’t think she’d ever stop crying.”

“She was definitely surprised.”

“I’d love to build a house in the country someday,” I told him, hoping to spark a conversation.

“Me too. Big house, big track. The whole nine.”

“Is that a stipulation in home construction?” I asked, snorting back a laugh. “Room for a big track.”

“Absolutely. I gots to ride.”

“Oh honey,” I said with a playful shake of my head. “Please don’t say ‘gots’.”

“Too cool?”

“Something like that,” I teased, a laugh slipping out. “So where exactly would you want to build this big house and big track.”

“I don’t know.” He pulled to a stop at the first four way on the edge of town. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it. Probably Texas,” he added without much thought. “Weather is good. Land is affordable.”

“Oh.” I nodded my head. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” he said, taking my hand in his and drawing it up to his lips. “I just said Texas because that is my home. All things are negotiable.” He winked before placing a kiss on my knuckle. “Especially where you’re concerned.”

“Good to know.” At least he was open to the possibility of living somewhere else. But, with him open to compromise, I knew that I’d be expected to do the same. Sure, I could be a nurse anywhere, but I’d never pictured myself anywhere but Halstead. “Is it silly for us to even be discussing things like that?” Less than two months of kind of dating and one day of being an actual couple. I was as bad as my sister about jumping to the future.

“No. I think it’s better to get logistics out of the way.” He pulled onto my street. “I’d rather know now what your hard limits are before we get any deeper.”

“I’m not sure,” I confessed. “About my hard limits, I mean. I’ve never really needed any. Everything has always pretty much been here.”

“Well, think about it. We can talk about it anytime you want.” He pulled the car onto the driveway and turned off the engine. “Everything is so up in the air with my knee and when exactly I’ll be back to work that I think we have some time to hash out all the details,” he added when we met outside the car. “I just want to enjoy every second that we have together until then.”

“Me too.” His lips found mine as soon as the words were out of my mouth. My pulse raced as his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against his body. The heat of our bodies against one another seemed to melt away the worries that I had when it came to us functioning as a couple. All I knew in that very moment was that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

* * *

I had to admit I was kind of digging this lazy Saturday thing. Brett and I cuddled up on the couch and started flipping between HGTV and ESPN. Somewhere between watching home renovations and making out, Brett had dozed off. I knew he was tired. I hadn’t told him but I’d felt him toss and turn against me all night. I’d hoped it wasn’t regret that was keeping him awake—regret that he’d agreed to start an honest to god relationship with me. When I had woken up and felt him touching me, I was relieved that he hadn’t bailed.

I knew that whatever it was that had kept him up that night he’d eventually tell me about. It was one of the things that I loved about our relationship. The honesty part. I think that each of us had our concerns about being together. I believed him when he said that we’d figure it out. For now, I would let him sleep.

When I’d left him on the couch that afternoon, I’d had every intention of running by the store and picking us up some snacks and something for dinner, but there was something that had been weighing on my mind that led me to the opposite side of town.

I pulled into the Shaws’ driveway, unsure of exactly what I was going to say to Iris. A week ago seemed like a month ago. So much had changed. I knew that it was going to painful—probably more for her than me—but I needed to tell her. I needed to tell her that I was moving on with my life and I wouldn’t be stopping by for monthly dinners or feeling guilty about it anymore.

“Well this is a pleasant surprise,” she said when she opened the front door. “Come in.” She wrapped her arms around me as soon as I was in the house. “I’m glad you stopped by. You’ll never guess what I found in a box from the attic,” she paused. “Jamie’s notebook from his freshman year. It’s got all kinds of great scribbles in it. I think there’s even a note from you tucked in the pocket inside.”

“I...” I tried to think of the nicest way possible to pull off this BandAid.

“Come in the kitchen. I’ll show you.” She grabbed my hand and started to pull me through the living room toward the back of the house. I knew if I made it to the chair at the kitchen table I’d be there all night looking through items from the past.

“I can’t.” I said, stopping in my tracks and slipping my hand from hers. “I don’t want to see it.”

“What do you mean? You’ll love it.” She said, shaking her head. I could hear the “tsk-tsk” coming off her lips. She took another step.

“I didn’t come by to reminisce, Iris.” I crossed my arms over my chest and took a deep breath. “I came by to tell you that I can’t do this anymore. No more Sunday dinners. No more memorabilia. It’s too hard and it’s not fair.”

“Don’t even talk to me about what’s not fair,” she said, the jovial expression she’d had on her face when I’d walked through the door was long gone.

“I’m not here to make you mad. I promise, I’m not. I just can’t keep coming over here and reliving losing him. It was hard enough the first time,” I paused. The pain in her eyes was exactly what I’d envisioned. In her mind I was giving up on her son. I was trying to forget him. “I love him, Iris. More than you probably even know. I just think it’s time for me to move on.”

“Is this because of that guy in the grocery store?”

“Not exactly.” I was being honest with her. I’d thought about this moment long before Brett came along. Maybe a little more since he’d shown up, but this was still something I needed to do. “It’s not healthy for me to keep holding onto him. I can’t be in a relationship that is one-sided anymore. I need a living person in my life.” I took in a deep breath. Everything that I’d wanted to say seemed to be coming out in a way that wasn’t registering with her. “And his name is Brett.”

“He’ll never love you like my Jamie did.”

“I’m not asking him to,” I said, reaching out to take her hand. When she didn’t jerk from my grasp I was relieved. “I’m not looking to replace him. I know that what we had was special and no one will ever take his place.” I blinked away the tears that were filling my eyes and watched hers do the same. “I’m grateful for the time I had with your son. And with you,” I added. “But I can’t keep hanging around here like he’s coming back.”

She nodded her head and I knew that she understood, even if the stubborn side of her didn’t want to.

“We know this, Georgia,” Jim said, walking out of the kitchen and over to his wife. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “We want you to be happy,” he added. “Don’t we, Iris?”

“We do.” She pulled my hand until I was standing close enough for her to hug me. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that this—that coming over here—was an obligation.” She released me from her arms. “You were just such a big part of Jamie’s life. With you here I feel closer to him.”

“I know.” I nodded. “I feel closer to him when I’m around you too. It’s not like I’ll never come by again.”

“It’s really okay,” Jim said. “We knew this day would come.”

“I really do want you to live your life. Jamie would want you to be happy,” Iris confessed with a sniffle.

“I hope so.”

“He would,” Jim assured me, taking the opportunity to give me a hug of his own. “We love you like you were one of ours, sweet Georgia.” I felt like the weight of the world was being lifted off my shoulders. I’d put so much stock, so much effort, into being a part of their family that sometimes I forgot that I wasn’t. The pressure of not disappointing them—of needing their approval to move on—was something that I always worried about. Hearing them say that they knew I was going to move on with my life and that they understood filled me with hope that I was making the right decisions. Whether or not I ended up with Brett, I felt hopeful for the future. The future where the ghost of my fiancé wasn’t constantly looking over my shoulder. The future where my past didn’t haunt me.

“For what it’s worth, I would have loved being your daughter-in-law,” I told them as they walked me to the door. “Your family will always be very special to me.”

“And you to us.”